1
00:00:00,127 --> 00:00:05,779
Encoded by Hunter
Crazy4TV.com

2
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,687
Hey?

3
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:33,987
It has now been one month

4
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,997
since space ripped open
like flimsy human skin:

5
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,125
Terrified earthlings
are beginning to grow exhausted:

6
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,941
Professor, sprinkle us with
wisdom from your mighty brain.

7
00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:52,502
How scared should we be?

8
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:56,141
Somewhere between
not at all and entirely.

9
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,878
I call entirely.

10
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:05,315
Scientists believe the rip is a gateway
to another universe,

11
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:08,419
but do not know
what mysteries lie beyond.

12
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,794
However, in this reporter's opinion

13
00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:13,698
gruesome death awaits us all!

14
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:19,000
And now with sports,
here's Sportsbot 5000.

15
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,306
All sports canceled:

16
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,885
To better understand the anomaly,

17
00:02:31,953 --> 00:02:36,515
I will now focus its radiation
on a giant medium-sized ant

18
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,989
to see what happens.

19
00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:40,823
What's going on here?
I was told there would be sugar syrup.

20
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,328
Quiet, you.

21
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,810
Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen.

22
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:58,867
Hello!

23
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,208
I like your shoes.

24
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,846
This is awkward.

25
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:06,182
Introducing your new girlfriend
to Chesty McNag-nag.

26
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,389
Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off.

27
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,755
Hey, you can't turn me off...

28
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,888
Hi. I'm Leela.

29
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,622
Hi, Leela, hi, everyone.

30
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,164
Sorry I've been taking up
so much of Fry's time.

31
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,462
He's just so interesting.

32
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,094
Have you seen how much
cotton candy he can eat?

33
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:26,503
Oh, my, yes. 5.1 pounds.

34
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,737
That's why his blood
is so good on pancakes.

35
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,277
Well, got to skedoodle-oodle.

36
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:34,644
We're taking a cuddle-cab
to Hug-a-Bunny Village.

37
00:03:42,023 --> 00:03:44,389
This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit

38
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,983
from my saltwater
and freshwater stomachs.

39
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,722
It is pretty sickening.

40
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:52,357
No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy.

41
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,834
Fry told me how he and Colleen first met.

42
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,646
So, how did you and Colleen first meet?

43
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:07,908
Well...

44
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,511
Something about seeing it
on the Jumbotron

45
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,645
makes it so much more real.

46
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,417
It's so scary.

47
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,923
What are you supposed to do

48
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:20,961
when the whole universe
is coming to an end?

49
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,555
I have a thought.

50
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,633
This is gonna be juicy.

51
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,727
What? Oh, man!

52
00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:33,069
Speaking of sappy love...

53
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,607
Want to tell them, Kiffy?

54
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,838
Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement.

55
00:04:37,912 --> 00:04:39,777
I... That is, we...

56
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,512
Oh, I'm just so excited.

57
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,212
Kif has asked me to be his Fonfon Ru.

58
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,312
- Mazel tov!
- Wonderful!

59
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,016
What the hell does that mean?

60
00:04:50,091 --> 00:04:53,288
It means I've asked Amy to join my family.

61
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:58,423
And you're all invited to my family swamp
for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony.

62
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,761
If I had ever heard of it,

63
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:02,428
it would have been
what I had always dreamed of.

64
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,266
And our parents will be meeting
for the first time ever.

65
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:10,743
That's even more awkward
than Fry's two bimbos meeting each other.

66
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,278
Count me in.

67
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,347
Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited

68
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,221
that we're all about to be joined
in a single family?

69
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:00,317
You can't borrow money.

70
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,328
Kif's parents come late
and we have to stand around in swamp

71
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,889
getting eaten alive by damn bugs?

72
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,457
Mrs. Wong, no.

73
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:13,633
The final stage of my species' life cycle
is a colony of flying hookworms.

74
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,301
You just squashed part of my father.

75
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,845
- Welcome.
- Sorry.

76
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:23,008
I guess you got plenty of
bugs to spare though, huh?

77
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,608
That was my left testicle.

78
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,678
And the awkward meter
goes up another notch.

79
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:37,962
Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful
in the light of the swamp gas.

80
00:06:38,032 --> 00:06:40,227
Thanks. This is really fun.

81
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:43,566
I love going to exotic worlds
and getting hammered.

82
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:44,661
Me, too.

83
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,002
Two more Harvey Wallclimbers.

84
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:01,445
Leela, I can't help
but notice you're unescorted.

85
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:05,083
Might I escort you behind that bush
for the next five minutes?

86
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,252
Nothing would revolt me more.

87
00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:08,955
Then how about that shrub?

88
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,295
Ooh! Rubok is begun.

89
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,634
I am the grand priestess.

90
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,806
Aren't you also the grand midwife?

91
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,607
And the grand lunch lady.

92
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,046
I work five jobs, all grand.

93
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,448
Kif of the clan Kroker,

94
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:36,182
please trescend the Rubok Etlon
with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru.

95
00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:39,186
- What?
- Get in the mud.

96
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:45,897
This mud is the petroleum from
a billion generations of Kif's ancestors.

97
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:51,097
As you become one with the ooze,
so you become one with the clan Kroker.

98
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:02,106
Oh, Kif, it's like a movie
with this happening in it.

99
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,688
Is the best man present?

100
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,316
Guilty as charged.

101
00:08:12,393 --> 00:08:14,361
Kindly hose the couple.

102
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:27,263
As it was, so it is.
You may now eat the snake.

103
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,207
If you so choose.

104
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,647
It's not part of the ceremony.
I just had an extra snake.

105
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:38,344
Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet.

106
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,657
Are you going to eat that?

107
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:08,104
Fry, run, run.
Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God!

108
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:09,171
What? What is it?

109
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,809
Shut up already! Calculon's on TV!

110
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:16,015
I beg you, Calculon,
don't ring that door chime:

111
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,615
I have no choice, Monique.

112
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,091
Whoever the blackmailer is,

113
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:25,063
he lives behind this hideous
yet strangely familiar door.

114
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,535
Calculon residence.
Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon.

115
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,835
Son of a bit. This is my house.

116
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,775
But that means I'm blackmailing myself.

117
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,506
Why didn't you tell me, Monique?

118
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,571
I tried to, but I couldn't.

119
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,947
Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid
you have a fourth personality

120
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,510
the other three don't know about,
and it and I

121
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,079
are lovers!

122
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:54,888
How's Calculon going to take this, Fry,

123
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:58,796
especially after that
humiliating tennis tournament?

124
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,390
- Fry?
- Don't know, Bender.

125
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,833
Tonight's my big date with Colleen.
I got to run.

126
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,303
But me and you like to watch together.

127
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:10,332
Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on.
Humans like cabbage, right?

128
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,589
Step right up to the 2D Tunnel of Love.

129
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,094
Not one, not three,
but two glorious dimensions

130
00:10:31,165 --> 00:10:32,723
for the price of a single ticket.

131
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,865
Keep your hands in the car,
shut up, and have fun.

132
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:43,068
Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D.

133
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,201
I do?

134
00:10:44,278 --> 00:10:46,906
But from your perspective,
I'm just a line segment.

135
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,948
A really hot line segment.

136
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,608
So, listen, sweetie pie,

137
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,676
I was thinking maybe we should
take this to the next step.

138
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,778
Really?

139
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,618
Yes. Colleen...

140
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,788
...will you be moved in with by me?

141
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,699
- Way to go.
- Hooray, hooray.

142
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,861
- That's great.
- You're moving in with her?

143
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,666
Why can't she move in with us?

144
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,899
I could just curl up at
the foot of the bed.

145
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,243
Listen up, everyone.

146
00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:21,714
I know you've all been extremely worried
about the cosmic anomaly.

147
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,340
The what? Oh, right.

148
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:24,975
But there's good news.

149
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:29,580
We're all going to learn more about it
at a scientific conference.

150
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:42,565
Like a city made of marshmallow.

151
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:51,840
I am the pickled head

152
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,379
Black hole Hawking?

153
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,041
Wow, if I knew I was going to meet you,

154
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,414
I would have done something
with my hair.

155
00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,952
You should have:

156
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:04,249
In conclusion, I understand
nothing about the anomaly,

157
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:09,023
even after cashing the huge check I got
for writing a book about it:

158
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,132
I know this anomaly is terrifying.

159
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:18,638
But as scientists, is it not our
sworn duty to seek out knowledge,

160
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,299
even at the cost of our very lives?

161
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,399
No:

162
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:26,742
I say we must mount an expedition
to the anomaly forthwith.

163
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,371
I agree.

164
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,938
Wernstrom!

165
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:33,953
Professor Farnsworth is correct.
Only a manned mission can...

166
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,418
Don't listen to that crackpot!

167
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:39,789
But I'm agreeing with you.

168
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,125
I'll make you eat those words, you moron!

169
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,396
I volunteer to lead the expedition.

170
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,798
I have a squad of graduate students

171
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,962
eager to risk their lives
for a letter of recommendation.

172
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,365
Your squad sucks bosons!

173
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,810
My team is twice as qualified
and three times as expendable.

174
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,176
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

175
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,774
Oh, tough talk for someone
with only one Fields Medal.

176
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,281
Ooh!

177
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,411
Ooh!

178
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,580
Wernstrom, I ought to...

179
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,458
I didn't know I could do that:

180
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:19,488
Now quiet down
and settle this like men of science:

181
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,760
Very well.

182
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,429
Let Deathball begin!

183
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,123
- Go, Planet Express!
- Go even more, my team!

184
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,034
Leela, header!

185
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:07,871
Ow!

186
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,165
Bust those balls!

187
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,633
Hooray! We're equally good!

188
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:43,850
Come on, Bender! Your grandmother
could push harder than that!

189
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,852
No crap.
My grandmother was a bulldozer.

190
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:18,548
And thus metal man defeated meat man.
The end.

191
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,516
Come here, winner!

192
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:25,920
Come here, loser!

193
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,519
Colleen, what are you doing?
My face is over here.

194
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,691
This is my boyfriend, silly!

195
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,668
- I thought I was your boyfriend.
- You are.

196
00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:40,673
- Well, how can you have two boyfriends?
- Oh, I don't. I have five.

197
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:44,074
Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo.

198
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,338
- Greetings.
- Pleasure.

199
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:46,504
But... But...

200
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,741
Shlomo and Ndulu
will help you move your stuff

201
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,476
into my apartment tonight.

202
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,144
Welcome to the relationship, buddy!

203
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,176
Hmm?

204
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,649
There's my butterscotch.

205
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,329
Congratulations, deathballers!

206
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,334
We've won the right
to explore the anomaly!

207
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,428
What? I thought
I was playing for my freedom!

208
00:16:12,506 --> 00:16:13,598
No.

209
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,239
Now, I've often said "good news"

210
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,576
when sending you
on a mission of extreme danger.

211
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,082
So when I say this anomaly is dangerous,

212
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:27,552
you can imagine
how dangerous I really think it is.

213
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:28,918
Not dangerous at all?

214
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:33,289
- Actually, quite dangerous indeed.
- That is quite dangerous!

215
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,090
Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying!

216
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:40,122
Prep the ship and line up
for your preflight coffee enemas!

217
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,727
Warning. The enema you are about
to enjoy is extremely hot.

218
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,704
I don't know what to do, Leela.

219
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:51,710
Should I move in with Colleen
and her four other boyfriends?

220
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,872
What are you going to do?
Sleep in a big pile like hamsters?

221
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:56,745
No! It's not like that.

222
00:16:56,817 --> 00:16:59,650
Everyone gets his own room
and a shelf in the refrigerator.

223
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,152
Take the deal, Fry!

224
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,518
If there's a delicious cake,

225
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,581
isn't it better to have one slice
than none at all?

226
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:08,423
Even if four other guys
eat the other four slices,

227
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:12,591
and they're all thrusting their
sweaty naked bodies against the cake?

228
00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:14,793
Only one thing matters, Fry.

229
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,702
Do you really love Colleen,
like I love my little squeezle?

230
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,304
Yeah. I do love her.

231
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,537
Then things will work out.

232
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:28,873
Whoa!

233
00:17:28,949 --> 00:17:31,213
Double espresso for Philip Fry?

234
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,811
Sorry, I'm not going on the mission.
I'm moving in with Colleen!

235
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,583
- Good for you, Fry.
- Oh, Fry!

236
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,783
I'll just take that to go.

237
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:14,223
- Welcome to your new home!
- Thanks, Colleen.

238
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:19,231
And listen, I'm sorry I got jealous before.
I'm just happy to be here with you.

239
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,996
Want a slice of delicious cake?

240
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,577
The anomaly!

241
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:35,581
It's so anomalous.

242
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,618
I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads!

243
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,152
Wernstrom!

244
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,815
Yes, and I'm afraid
I have disturbing news about the anomaly:

245
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,915
- :
- How did you get this number?

246
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:49,291
Hermes, hang up on him
in the rudest possible manner.

247
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,727
Yes, sir!

248
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,291
No, not the crack slam!

249
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,136
Oh, my life rocks.

250
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,410
I've got good wine, five sweethearts,

251
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:15,079
and today,
I was promoted to Chief of Police.

252
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,554
Here's to you.

253
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,215
- Me?
- No, Colleen.

254
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:21,089
- I'm making a romantic toast.
- Sorry.

255
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,220
You have the most beautiful eyes
I think I...

256
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,491
- Thank you.
- I'm not talking to you!

257
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,328
Then I am not talking to you, either.

258
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,731
Will everyone be quiet a little?

259
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:31,168
- I want to hear what he has to say!
- Thank you.

260
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,000
Not you, you Verstinkener:

261
00:19:33,073 --> 00:19:35,803
You're just here 'cause she likes cave men
from the stupid ages.

262
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,274
Oh, look who's talking.

263
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,369
You're just here
'cause she got matzoh fever.

264
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,176
So, what's the explanation for you,
moron fever?

265
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,112
Enough! All of you!

266
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,413
I love you.

267
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,512
Most people in this world
don't have what we have.

268
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,921
Let's just be grateful, okay?

269
00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:54,290
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you're right.

270
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,728
So, Colleen, you look really nice.

271
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,628
Oh, thanks. I got dressed up for my date.

272
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,097
There he is. Don't wait up!

273
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,468
That's it. I thought
I was okay with this, but I'm not.

274
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,634
I'm breaking up with you!

275
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:16,939
Me?

276
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,730
Why are we risking our lives?

277
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,358
Can't we just send in a robotic drone?

278
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,567
What's everybody looking at me for?

279
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,373
"Let's send a robot to explore it.

280
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,842
"'Cause you can always buy
another one for 20 bucks."

281
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:45,900
Really?

282
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:49,210
Well, it's 30 bucks,
and there's a $10-mail-in rebate.

283
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,945
When the League of Robots
hears about this, they won't be pleased.

284
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,214
Oh, you'll pay, my darlings.

285
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,314
The League of Robots
doesn't exist, tin mon.

286
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,359
It's just a cartoon for babies.

287
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,485
Oh, yeah?

288
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,928
Then how come when I was a kid,
I had a whole sticker book of them?

289
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,898
Answer that with your precious logic.

290
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,749
Bender to crew.

291
00:21:24,818 --> 00:21:27,810
I have reached the gateway
to another universe.

292
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,617
I feel awed and strangely humbled

293
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,659
by the momentous solemnity
of this occasion.

294
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:38,054
Hey, other universe,
bite my shiny metal...

295
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:55,006
I can't remember anything except
a blinding light and a searing ass pain.

296
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,311
I better check my black box.

297
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,110
The light! It's blinding!

298
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:02,882
And the ass pain! It's searing!

299
00:22:02,956 --> 00:22:04,355
So that's what happened.

300
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,757
Hey, Bender!
Look who's here to cheer you up.

301
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,022
I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly...

302
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,291
Greetings, sick fan.

303
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:15,357
TV's Calculon!

304
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,701
You poor, mangled husk
of what was once a robot!

305
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:27,041
What right hath fate to pluck
a sweet, dimple-cheeked mechanism

306
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:30,640
in the flower of his youth? And...

307
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:31,911
Scene!

308
00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:34,180
There, that was some free acting for you.

309
00:22:34,254 --> 00:22:35,721
Ordinarily, to see acting like that,

310
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,619
you'd have to sit
through a tampon commercial.

311
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,749
That fulfills my community service, right?

312
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:44,092
Charges of running me over
are hereby dismissed!

313
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,556
Ow!

314
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:57,572
Where did we go wrong, Fry?
We were meant to be together!

315
00:22:59,112 --> 00:23:01,603
Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here.

316
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:03,444
Just a sec, honey!

317
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,342
I'm back, idiots!

318
00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:44,657
You look wonderful, robot!

319
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:49,093
I wish I could afford to go to a hospital.
I'm dreadfully sick.

320
00:23:52,165 --> 00:23:56,727
I feel great, and I owe it all to Calculon.
His visit really inspired me.

321
00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:59,237
I finally know
what I want to be when I grow up.

322
00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:02,706
You want to costar in his TV show?
Like that time you already did that?

323
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:05,243
No. I'm gonna be a stalker!

324
00:24:05,311 --> 00:24:08,371
That's not really a career.
More of a felony.

325
00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,507
Man, I'm gonna stalk his brains out.

326
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:13,017
Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fansite!

327
00:24:13,086 --> 00:24:15,987
There's a flash mob headed
for his plastic surgeon's office!

328
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:21,952
There, that's as big as I can make it.

329
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:25,122
But I caution you,
it looks completely unrealistic.

330
00:24:25,198 --> 00:24:28,634
You let me worry about that!
Just do your job.

331
00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:31,261
Very well.
Will you be using your SAG insurance?

332
00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:33,999
No, cash. I'd like to be discreet.

333
00:24:36,109 --> 00:24:37,371
Dear God, no!

334
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:38,671
- Neat!
- Get a shot of that.

335
00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:40,872
Oh boy, oh boy, he's here.

336
00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:43,973
Calculon, I love you! Have my baby!

337
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:45,745
Back, you lunatic!

338
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,044
He touched me!

339
00:24:48,121 --> 00:24:49,611
Sign my ass!

340
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:05,733
Emergency! Emergency!
Everyone to the calamitorium!

341
00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:10,872
- Leela, smell this.
- Can I wipe it off first?

342
00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:13,434
No time, woman! No time!

343
00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:17,813
- Hmm. Smells like angel dust.
- Exactly!

344
00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:20,784
That's a discontinuous
electromagnetic field.

345
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:25,051
Wernstrom tried to warn me,
but I was too damn stubborn!

346
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:28,787
Hermes, get Wernstrom
on the line so I can apologize.

347
00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:37,535
Ogden Wernstrom speaking:

348
00:25:37,603 --> 00:25:38,831
Tell him I'm not here!

349
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:41,806
- Professor!
- Oh, very well.

350
00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:45,332
Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool!

351
00:25:45,411 --> 00:25:48,278
If you can find it
in your heart to forgive me,

352
00:25:48,348 --> 00:25:50,009
your tiny little heart,

353
00:25:50,083 --> 00:25:53,382
would you consider
a scientific collaboration?

354
00:25:53,453 --> 00:25:55,853
Sir, I'd be honored:

355
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:01,325
As I attempted to warn you,

356
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:05,490
the laws of electromagnetism
change abruptly at the anomaly.

357
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:06,589
Observe.

358
00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:08,531
Play time is fun time:

359
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:10,228
Not this time.

360
00:26:11,771 --> 00:26:12,999
My heavens!

361
00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:14,937
If only I'd heeded your warning,

362
00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:17,805
I'd have known it was impossible
to cross the barrier!

363
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:23,109
But note what happens when I instead
throw this laboratory koala.

364
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:28,180
It passed through
unharmed.

365
00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:31,721
So living beings
can enter the other universe,

366
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,850
but electrical devices can't?

367
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,791
My hypothesis exactly.

368
00:26:35,862 --> 00:26:39,457
Then we must mount
a second expedition without delay.

369
00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:42,092
- Right after we blow up more robots.
- Agreed.

370
00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:47,963
Play time is fun time.

371
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:58,045
- Who are you?
- Bender, your biggest fan.

372
00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:00,312
Are you going to murder me?

373
00:27:00,386 --> 00:27:02,946
Unlikely. In my mind, we're friends.

374
00:27:03,022 --> 00:27:04,853
This diorama proves it, see?

375
00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:11,463
Sir, your derangement is impressive.
I'm appointing you my official stalker.

376
00:27:11,531 --> 00:27:13,624
You shan't be disappointed.

377
00:27:13,699 --> 00:27:15,394
Pleasant dreams.

378
00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:29,947
Now that I've teamed up with my friend,
Dr. Wernstrom,

379
00:27:30,016 --> 00:27:33,975
I feel certain we can
successfully penetrate the other universe.

380
00:27:34,053 --> 00:27:35,953
It's the greatest scientific opportunity

381
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:39,423
since you yourself
sent men to the moon in 1969.

382
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:40,823
I always regretted that.

383
00:27:41,127 --> 00:27:45,029
Nothing up there but dry rocks
and those revolting onion men.

384
00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:46,189
But...

385
00:27:46,265 --> 00:27:49,723
You East Coast intellectuals
had your chance. Now beat it!

386
00:27:49,802 --> 00:27:52,669
From here on in, this
is a military matter.

387
00:27:57,443 --> 00:27:58,910
People of the universe,

388
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:02,971
please welcome
Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan:

389
00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:10,346
Well deserved:

390
00:28:10,423 --> 00:28:12,914
Kif, stand in that hole so I look taller.

391
00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:17,361
Ever since man first left his cave

392
00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:19,398
and met a stranger
with a different language

393
00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:21,433
and a new way of looking at things,

394
00:28:21,501 --> 00:28:23,765
the human race has had a dream:

395
00:28:23,836 --> 00:28:25,827
To kill him,
so we don't have to learn his language

396
00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:27,497
or his new way of looking at things:

397
00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:32,902
Give science a chance!

398
00:28:32,979 --> 00:28:35,914
Less invasions, more equations!

399
00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:37,449
Damn long-hairs.

400
00:28:37,517 --> 00:28:40,042
Knock some sense into them,
Chief O'Hallahan.

401
00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:41,643
Yes, sir!

402
00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:57,131
I can't take it, Leela.

403
00:28:57,203 --> 00:29:01,105
I need to go away. Far away, forever.

404
00:29:01,374 --> 00:29:03,842
Aw, I know how you feel, Fry.

405
00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:07,073
There are times when I also feel
like you need to go away.

406
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:14,581
Be careful,
my little, teeny, greeny weenie.

407
00:29:14,654 --> 00:29:18,249
That's just a fungal infection...
Oh, she's talking to you, Kif.

408
00:29:18,324 --> 00:29:19,985
Goodbye, my love.

409
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:38,738
Wow, how come humans
get to do all the fun stuff?

410
00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:42,042
This is exactly the sort of thing
that ought to be handled by

411
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,082
The League of Robots.

412
00:29:46,385 --> 00:29:48,216
That's adorable, Bender.

413
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:51,222
You actually believe
in the League of Robots?

414
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:54,259
You mean, there's really no such thing?

415
00:29:54,327 --> 00:29:56,124
Then who's there to mete out justice

416
00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:59,323
when an outdated robot
is melted into belt buckles?

417
00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:00,888
Who's there to defend our honor

418
00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:04,903
when a rude human brings a blush
to a robo-virgin's cheek?

419
00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:06,302
No one.

420
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:07,430
Oh.

421
00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:31,529
Now that I know
robots are worthless,

422
00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:35,693
with no League of Robots to protect us
from the fleshy menace known as man,

423
00:30:35,768 --> 00:30:38,328
I have resolved to kill myself:

424
00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:42,864
In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves
in the face with rusty chains:

425
00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:44,910
Your friend, Bender:

426
00:30:48,648 --> 00:30:49,637
Ow.

427
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:05,060
Please select

428
00:31:05,131 --> 00:31:06,894
Clumsy bludgeoning, please.

429
00:31:06,966 --> 00:31:09,799
You have selected clumsy bludgeoning:

430
00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:11,427
For an additional $10,

431
00:31:11,504 --> 00:31:14,337
would you like your eyes
scooped out with a melon-baller?

432
00:31:14,407 --> 00:31:15,897
What the heck, I'll treat myself.

433
00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:39,731
Enemy in range.

434
00:31:39,799 --> 00:31:42,927
Prepare to launch
universe-to-universe missile.

435
00:31:43,002 --> 00:31:44,993
Preparing to launch U.U.M.

436
00:31:59,719 --> 00:32:02,552
Hell of a thing to send a universe
to certain doom.

437
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,522
Fun, though. Makes a man feel big.

438
00:32:08,694 --> 00:32:12,186
Come on, come on,
I didn't ask to die of boredom!

439
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:20,538
You are now dead:

440
00:32:29,014 --> 00:32:31,244
What's... What's happening?

441
00:32:33,519 --> 00:32:35,009
Kneel before the candle.

442
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,180
Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone!

443
00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:39,451
Bender Bending Rodriguez...

444
00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:44,127
Welcome to the League of Robots!

445
00:33:04,416 --> 00:33:05,678
Ready?

446
00:33:07,787 --> 00:33:09,015
And...

447
00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:12,379
F...

448
00:33:15,961 --> 00:33:17,326
Almost fooled you there.

449
00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:19,725
Fire!

450
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:25,164
Missile jam. Missile jam.

451
00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:28,035
- I heard you the first time, Francine.
- Sorry.

452
00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:31,133
Kif, climb down there and un-jam it,
would you? Be a dear.

453
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,437
And stop sighing so much.

454
00:33:38,918 --> 00:33:40,180
Tell us, Bender.

455
00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:42,720
Are you worthy of membership
in the League?

456
00:33:42,788 --> 00:33:44,983
Worthier than the average robot.

457
00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:46,649
Then prove it.

458
00:33:49,728 --> 00:33:51,753
Upon each step is a test.

459
00:33:51,831 --> 00:33:55,528
Okay, but if it's culturally biased,
I'm suing your ass.

460
00:33:55,601 --> 00:33:59,662
Test number one.
The test of the beer mug!

461
00:33:59,738 --> 00:34:00,898
Quite right, quite so.

462
00:34:00,973 --> 00:34:04,204
Drink the mug! Drink the mug!

463
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:06,267
I accept your challenge.

464
00:34:09,648 --> 00:34:10,979
Hurray!

465
00:34:12,751 --> 00:34:14,844
The test of the flagon!

466
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,253
Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon!

467
00:34:18,324 --> 00:34:21,259
Are all the tests going
to involve drinking?

468
00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:23,761
It never occurred to me before, but yes.

469
00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:26,161
Just like med school!

470
00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:31,733
Ready yet, Kif?

471
00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:33,863
Just give me one more...

472
00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,038
Oh, no.

473
00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:56,991
The test of the infinitely priceless
1,000-year-old brandy.

474
00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:10,074
Presenting our newest member.

475
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,001
That's right, baby!

476
00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:15,046
Hot diggity daffodil!

477
00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:26,984
And so, to everyone
and everything I've ever known,

478
00:35:27,059 --> 00:35:29,289
I say my last goodbye.

479
00:35:30,262 --> 00:35:31,661
Hello.

480
00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:34,198
So, how are you, Fry?

481
00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:37,201
- Pretty good. You?
- Well... Oh.

482
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:56,282
Mmm.

483
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:59,620
Kif, get over here.
You've got to try this!

484
00:36:04,563 --> 00:36:06,827
At least Kiffy died quickly.

485
00:36:07,633 --> 00:36:10,602
Yes, but according to
the Old Farmer's Wikipedia,

486
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:12,603
the amazing thing about Kif's species

487
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:16,664
is that the remains continue suffering
for up to six hours after death.

488
00:36:18,377 --> 00:36:20,345
That's so interesting!

489
00:36:22,114 --> 00:36:24,241
Don't ask where I was last night.

490
00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:28,252
For all you know, I was at home,
perhaps baking a strudel.

491
00:36:29,254 --> 00:36:31,950
What's her problem?
Somebody die or something?

492
00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:34,356
- Kif's dead, Bender.
- Nailed it!

493
00:36:45,237 --> 00:36:47,205
My condolences, Amy.

494
00:36:47,272 --> 00:36:51,675
Allow me to present you with the
last known photo of Lieutenant Kroker.

495
00:36:53,746 --> 00:36:58,240
We so sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Kroker.
Terrible shame about Froggy.

496
00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:01,445
Thank you for your kind words.

497
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,112
Yeah, yeah, real sad.

498
00:37:03,188 --> 00:37:06,783
Want some breath spray?
Cinnamon flavor, taste like pie.

499
00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:13,597
This is from the league
of you-don't-need-to-know.

500
00:37:16,035 --> 00:37:19,471
I am the grand funeral director!

501
00:37:19,538 --> 00:37:21,438
Do you validate parking?

502
00:37:21,507 --> 00:37:26,206
It is always a terrible tragedy
when a swarm outlives its own bulboid.

503
00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:27,905
So it is with great sorrow

504
00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:31,177
that I now commit the goo
that was once Kif

505
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,775
to the petroleum of his ancestors.

506
00:37:38,190 --> 00:37:39,953
Whack the bottle!

507
00:37:41,126 --> 00:37:43,924
No, from the bottom! It works better!

508
00:37:45,497 --> 00:37:47,988
Just stick a butter knife in it!

509
00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:55,234
There, I got most of it.
The burial is complete.

510
00:37:56,975 --> 00:37:59,170
I will now sing the sacred hymn.

511
00:37:59,244 --> 00:38:03,476
It's not part of the ceremony,
just a little something that I wrote.

512
00:38:10,255 --> 00:38:11,313
Next!

513
00:38:14,059 --> 00:38:16,323
It may sound strange,

514
00:38:16,395 --> 00:38:21,196
but seeing Kif's mutilated remains
poured into the mud made me really sad.

515
00:38:21,266 --> 00:38:23,325
Mutilation is never easy.

516
00:38:23,402 --> 00:38:28,271
- I don't think I'll ever love again.
- Oh, you don't mean that.

517
00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:31,275
Love can surprise you
at any time in your life.

518
00:38:31,343 --> 00:38:32,776
Surprise!

519
00:38:39,218 --> 00:38:42,016
Whoa, it kind of takes your breath away.

520
00:38:52,264 --> 00:38:56,030
Look alive, death row.
Your saggy asses got a visitor.

521
00:38:56,101 --> 00:39:00,128
- Regular or conjugal?
- She looked like a freak to me.

522
00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:02,130
The guard operating the x-ray machine

523
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:04,767
came down with a sudden case
of broken neck,

524
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:08,540
so I was able to bring you
that delicious cake you wanted.

525
00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:13,746
I don't understand.
Are you winking or blinking?

526
00:39:15,087 --> 00:39:16,782
Hang on a second.

527
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:18,948
Got it!

528
00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:30,727
Yes, I'm here to repair my horse.

529
00:39:30,802 --> 00:39:33,999
Is the horse's name Hot Beans?

530
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:36,040
No. I mean, yes.

531
00:39:42,281 --> 00:39:46,308
So it seems a human had been
rather injured by a knife, and as his...

532
00:39:46,385 --> 00:39:49,946
As his blood, you know,
I think that's what they call it...

533
00:39:50,022 --> 00:39:52,684
Quite correct, sir. Blather on!

534
00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:56,785
As it drained away, he said...
He said, "Take me to a dock."

535
00:39:56,862 --> 00:39:59,524
No doubt he intended to say "doctor,"

536
00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:03,762
but he was unable to complete his
thought, you see, being as he had died.

537
00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:05,234
So, taking him at his word,

538
00:40:05,304 --> 00:40:09,434
we dragged his corpse to the waterfront,
whereupon the seagulls fed upon it.

539
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:14,536
- Humans are dumb and they die easy!
- Quite!

540
00:40:14,613 --> 00:40:17,741
Speaking of humans,
have I shown you my new monocle?

541
00:40:17,816 --> 00:40:21,308
Cost me a king's ransom.
Made from a king, don't you know!

542
00:40:21,386 --> 00:40:24,355
Oh, how repulsively decadent!

543
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:26,618
Yes. But more importantly,

544
00:40:26,692 --> 00:40:29,786
it allows me to see
the smiling faces of my children

545
00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:33,797
for the first time since I lost my vision
in that horrible banking accident.

546
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:36,060
May I see that for a second?

547
00:40:37,069 --> 00:40:39,264
My, but that's interesting!

548
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,940
- I say!
- I'm blind!

549
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,442
My God, Bender!

550
00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:48,502
This is a civilized organization!
The rules specifically...

551
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,447
May I make a point of order,
President Calculon?

552
00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:53,507
- Must you?
- Yes.

553
00:40:53,585 --> 00:40:54,984
The bylaws specifically state

554
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:58,181
that no human may set foot
in the League of Robots!

555
00:40:58,257 --> 00:41:01,283
If he has a human part, he's part human!

556
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:05,296
Oh, my! Then I too have a human part
I must expel.

557
00:41:05,364 --> 00:41:07,958
And I plan to enjoy the experience.

558
00:41:08,033 --> 00:41:09,125
Ta-ta!

559
00:41:09,201 --> 00:41:14,002
Bender, you've rigidly applied the law
with no regard for its intent.

560
00:41:14,072 --> 00:41:17,166
Well done!
You'll go far in this organization.

561
00:41:17,242 --> 00:41:20,040
Oh, you're just gettin' to know Bender.

562
00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:42,625
Curses!

563
00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:43,895
If we could only turn up the gain,

564
00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:46,164
we might smell clear through
to the other universe!

565
00:41:46,238 --> 00:41:49,298
But we can't adjust it
without a screwdriver.

566
00:41:49,374 --> 00:41:50,500
Wait a moment.

567
00:41:50,575 --> 00:41:53,738
I think I was just shanked
with a screwdriver!

568
00:41:55,714 --> 00:41:56,908
Yes!

569
00:41:58,250 --> 00:42:01,048
A little more. A little less.

570
00:42:01,119 --> 00:42:03,553
Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this!

571
00:42:05,257 --> 00:42:07,282
Holy mother of invention!

572
00:42:07,359 --> 00:42:11,125
- We must notify the President at once!
- But how can we?

573
00:42:11,196 --> 00:42:15,064
Oh, I wish, I wish,
I wish we weren't in prison!

574
00:42:17,536 --> 00:42:19,436
Pazuzu!

575
00:42:19,504 --> 00:42:23,031
You have one wish left, Professor.

576
00:42:40,492 --> 00:42:42,426
I think I got him!

577
00:42:42,694 --> 00:42:43,786
Mmm-hmm.

578
00:42:43,862 --> 00:42:45,727
That's what you get
for letting your guard...

579
00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:51,534
Sometimes... Always... Never!

580
00:42:51,603 --> 00:42:54,037
You again?
This better be damned important.

581
00:42:54,106 --> 00:42:56,666
I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey!

582
00:42:56,742 --> 00:42:59,267
You'll want to hear this, Mr. President.

583
00:42:59,344 --> 00:43:03,075
For we have sniffed
where no man has sniffed before!

584
00:43:36,982 --> 00:43:38,711
Look! Up in the sky!

585
00:43:38,784 --> 00:43:40,979
- It's a bird!
- It's a plane!

586
00:43:41,052 --> 00:43:42,917
I am so out of here!

587
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:49,085
Incoming call

588
00:43:50,061 --> 00:43:51,050
Hello?

589
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:54,826
- Why you so sad, Amy?
- My husband died, Mom!

590
00:43:58,136 --> 00:43:59,763
Hang on:

591
00:43:59,838 --> 00:44:02,306
Some damn tentacle
got in the screen door:

592
00:44:05,644 --> 00:44:09,011
- Collect call from
- Will you pay for color?

593
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,206
No!

594
00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:13,012
Uncle Zoid! What's new?

595
00:44:13,084 --> 00:44:15,552
You still doing theater
for the blind and deaf?

596
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:19,716
I got a part in a fancy DVD movie!

597
00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:23,921
It's only one line, but I'm gonna ham
it up like you wouldn't believe:

598
00:44:25,096 --> 00:44:30,033
What crummy sin have I committed
to be chastised in such a crazy manner?

599
00:44:31,236 --> 00:44:34,501
Hello? Hello?
Call me back on my shell phone!

600
00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:42,207
Captain's log, stardate,

601
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,441
the year of the tiger:

602
00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:46,416
The battle has been bravely fought,

603
00:44:46,485 --> 00:44:49,215
and the suffering of our troops
beyond measure:

604
00:44:49,287 --> 00:44:53,485
But the alien is invulnerable,
and our defeat inevitable:

605
00:44:53,558 --> 00:44:56,527
That much is obvious,
even from my remote command post

606
00:44:56,595 --> 00:44:59,223
here at the Times Square Applebee's:

607
00:45:00,198 --> 00:45:04,931
Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella
back to the kitchen and fry it some more.

608
00:45:11,877 --> 00:45:14,641
The tentacle's coming towards Earth
and there's no stopping it.

609
00:45:14,713 --> 00:45:17,614
King Kong's too old to save us this time.

610
00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,312
We have only one hope, Mr. President.

611
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:24,514
We must encase the entire planet

612
00:45:24,589 --> 00:45:29,026
in a protective sphere of
my patented, ultra-hard diamondium!

613
00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:30,425
Diamondium?

614
00:45:30,495 --> 00:45:33,692
I could gum through that
with my dentures behind my back.

615
00:45:33,765 --> 00:45:36,996
My trademarked diamondillium
is twice as hard!

616
00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:40,731
Twice as hard as your head!
Which makes it still fairly soft!

617
00:45:40,805 --> 00:45:42,739
Now look here, you Poindexters.

618
00:45:42,807 --> 00:45:45,867
I don't care how you decide. Just decide!

619
00:45:49,214 --> 00:45:50,681
Diamondillium it is.

620
00:46:01,059 --> 00:46:05,655
So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy,
and, pardon my ignorance,

621
00:46:05,730 --> 00:46:07,220
but when do we kill all humans?

622
00:46:07,299 --> 00:46:08,459
Never.

623
00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:11,593
But what about our motto?
Doesn't it mean anything?

624
00:46:13,471 --> 00:46:16,167
Oh, Bender,
your idealism is heartwarming.

625
00:46:16,241 --> 00:46:21,201
But the League of Robots
hasn't killed a human in over 800 years.

626
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:23,804
And that was a very sick girl scout.

627
00:46:23,882 --> 00:46:26,009
Quite sick indeed.

628
00:46:26,084 --> 00:46:28,518
Sweet, innocent Bender.

629
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:43,765
I declare my impenetrable
diamondillium sphere complete!

630
00:46:45,437 --> 00:46:47,564
Now look here, Wernstrom.

631
00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:52,167
You're making it sound as if the sphere
was your idea when we both know...

632
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:54,573
It was!

633
00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:58,605
All credit to my colleague,
Ogden Wernstrom!

634
00:47:02,921 --> 00:47:04,548
It's horrible!

635
00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:12,793
I can't make it! Go on without me!

636
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:14,297
I'm trying!

637
00:47:15,033 --> 00:47:16,466
Go on without me faster!

638
00:47:40,492 --> 00:47:44,121
Sweet squid of Madrid!
The tentacle got Fry!

639
00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:47,722
Quick, hand me my machete!
We can still save his legs!

640
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,862
Silence!

641
00:47:53,638 --> 00:47:57,165
I have traveled far and seen deep,

642
00:47:57,242 --> 00:48:01,474
and I have come to know
the purpose of our existence.

643
00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:02,808
Finally.

644
00:48:02,881 --> 00:48:05,714
Thou shalt love the tentacle!

645
00:48:07,686 --> 00:48:09,847
Well, at least we don't
have to love one another.

646
00:48:14,793 --> 00:48:18,729
A new age has begun.
The age of the tentacle!

647
00:48:21,366 --> 00:48:24,267
Open your necks and receive the love!

648
00:48:31,376 --> 00:48:33,003
Ow, my neck!

649
00:48:33,078 --> 00:48:34,773
Ow, my neck!

650
00:48:34,846 --> 00:48:37,474
My neck feels perfectly... Ow, my neck!

651
00:48:39,617 --> 00:48:42,916
Someone help me! I'm important!

652
00:48:42,987 --> 00:48:45,717
Say, I love the tentacle.

653
00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:47,724
I also love the neck-a-majigger!

654
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,264
Hooray, Zoidberg escaped!

655
00:49:04,642 --> 00:49:07,304
Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle!

656
00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:12,105
It got Zoidberg!

657
00:49:12,183 --> 00:49:16,517
Oh, I never knew how much
I'd miss him until he was gone!

658
00:49:16,588 --> 00:49:18,317
Not that much, as it turns out.

659
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,388
Thus sayeth the tentacle,

660
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:26,055
"Verily, thou shalt rejoice
in the house of the tentacle."

661
00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:29,191
Fry, listen to yourself.
You've been brainwashed.

662
00:49:29,267 --> 00:49:32,998
No, I'm just trying to fit my diction
to the importance of what I'm saying.

663
00:49:33,071 --> 00:49:36,199
- Please, let me speak.
- I'm listening.

664
00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:40,973
Don't be afraid of the tentacle, Leela.
It's beautiful and it loves me.

665
00:49:41,045 --> 00:49:42,569
And I love it.

666
00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:45,673
Aw. That's so nice for both of you.

667
00:49:45,750 --> 00:49:47,911
I know it may seem strange
that I have feelings

668
00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:50,045
for an octopus monster
from another universe.

669
00:49:50,121 --> 00:49:52,715
And yes, perhaps
it's not the storybook romance

670
00:49:52,791 --> 00:49:55,885
that's been crammed down
our throats by Hollywood.

671
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,623
But the Monsterpus has loved us
from afar since we were amoebas.

672
00:49:59,697 --> 00:50:01,756
Only when the space anomaly opened

673
00:50:01,833 --> 00:50:05,701
could it finally express
a billion years of longing.

674
00:50:05,770 --> 00:50:08,830
Really? It loves us that much?

675
00:50:08,907 --> 00:50:10,534
Fire diamondium cannon!

676
00:50:11,042 --> 00:50:12,634
Hey!

677
00:50:19,617 --> 00:50:20,675
No effect.

678
00:50:20,752 --> 00:50:24,017
The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle
like meatballs off Mothra.

679
00:50:24,088 --> 00:50:28,115
Oh, what a surprise.
I told you diamondium was worthless!

680
00:50:28,193 --> 00:50:32,687
Wernstrom, quit hyping
your cheap diamondillium and look at this.

681
00:50:34,098 --> 00:50:35,122
Uh-oh.

682
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,189
What?

683
00:50:36,267 --> 00:50:38,132
According to this blinking light,

684
00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:42,469
the tentacle is made of electro-matter,
matter's bad-ass grandma!

685
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,872
Nothing from our universe
can cut through it.

686
00:50:44,943 --> 00:50:49,971
Not diamondium, not diamondillium,
not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes!

687
00:50:51,216 --> 00:50:54,811
She's a terrible cook.
Anyway, we're all dead.

688
00:51:04,295 --> 00:51:06,354
So, Bender, is something wrong?

689
00:51:06,431 --> 00:51:08,991
Who said that? Oh, it was me!

690
00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:12,230
'Cause my roommate doesn't notice
or even care that I'm upset!

691
00:51:12,303 --> 00:51:14,203
What, Bender? Is something wrong?

692
00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:17,105
Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool,

693
00:51:17,175 --> 00:51:20,235
but it turns out
all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame.

694
00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:22,973
That's what we call ourselves,
"leaguie-weegies."

695
00:51:23,047 --> 00:51:25,413
I'm sorry.
I should've asked what was bothering you.

696
00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:28,281
- I've been kind of preoccupied.
- With what?

697
00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:31,686
Well, I went to another universe,
and I fell in love with a giant octopus,

698
00:51:31,756 --> 00:51:34,054
and now I'm pope of a new religion.

699
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:36,992
- Weren't you already pope of something?
- No.

700
00:51:37,061 --> 00:51:41,964
Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you
to show an interest in my life, too.

701
00:51:42,033 --> 00:51:44,092
Okay, let's catch up soon.

702
00:51:44,168 --> 00:51:47,831
But right now, I gotta go shove a tentacle
into everyone in China.

703
00:51:54,512 --> 00:51:57,913
They're coming!
Those horrible, horrible things are coming!

704
00:51:57,982 --> 00:51:59,040
Morbo?

705
00:51:59,117 --> 00:52:02,678
As the universe falls prey
to the revolting alien,

706
00:52:02,754 --> 00:52:06,713
only a few isolated pockets
of resistance remain.

707
00:52:08,159 --> 00:52:11,560
Those pockets sure are missing out
on a great thing.

708
00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:39,155
- Amy?
- Sorry.

709
00:52:39,357 --> 00:52:42,952
I thought I saw a tentacle,
but it was just a harmless land squid.

710
00:52:44,729 --> 00:52:47,323
I better have some cocoffee.

711
00:52:52,403 --> 00:52:54,530
When I gave up diapers,
my parents promised

712
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:56,766
exactly this would never happen!

713
00:52:56,841 --> 00:52:59,742
Nobody panic! Just get to the panic room!

714
00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:07,913
Well done, people!
We had a great first week.

715
00:53:07,986 --> 00:53:11,888
We got 90% of world leaders,
everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt,

716
00:53:11,956 --> 00:53:15,016
and this year's
most promising new R&B group,

717
00:53:15,093 --> 00:53:18,995
give it up
for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics!

718
00:53:20,598 --> 00:53:23,066
Talkin' 'bout the tentacle

719
00:53:28,306 --> 00:53:30,171
Good news, everyone!

720
00:53:30,241 --> 00:53:34,200
I was up all night inventing,
and then finally, I invented!

721
00:53:34,278 --> 00:53:35,336
Invented what?

722
00:53:35,413 --> 00:53:38,348
The neck protector,
the neck protector junior,

723
00:53:38,416 --> 00:53:42,182
and now, for a limited time,
the lady neck protector!

724
00:53:42,353 --> 00:53:45,083
I'll take two. My neck is huge.

725
00:53:46,491 --> 00:53:48,152
We're perfectly safe now.

726
00:53:48,226 --> 00:53:51,525
Time to stop living
like a bunch of nervous nellies.

727
00:53:52,130 --> 00:53:55,588
Professor, these look like you cut them
from cardboard toilet paper tubes.

728
00:53:55,666 --> 00:54:00,228
So? Lots of important inventions are made
from toilet paper tubes.

729
00:54:00,304 --> 00:54:03,796
Microscopes, the internet,
tentacle polish...

730
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:06,137
It got the professor!

731
00:54:12,216 --> 00:54:13,808
Wait, why am I screaming?

732
00:54:13,885 --> 00:54:15,443
It got me, too!

733
00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:25,418
Stop, in the name of love!

734
00:54:41,646 --> 00:54:42,704
Crud.

735
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,544
We may be the last
two normal people on Earth.

736
00:54:45,616 --> 00:54:48,278
At least I won't have to trim
my elbow talons anymore.

737
00:54:48,352 --> 00:54:52,288
I'm scared! And I miss Kif!

738
00:54:52,356 --> 00:54:54,153
It's okay to cry, Amy.

739
00:54:54,225 --> 00:54:57,490
Come here,
I'm wearing absorbent shoulder straps.

740
00:54:57,695 --> 00:54:58,719
Mmm.

741
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:02,755
What an erotic display
of girl-on-girl consolation.

742
00:55:02,834 --> 00:55:04,267
- Zapp?
- Hurry, Leela,

743
00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,803
we don't have much time
to begin repopulating Earth.

744
00:55:06,871 --> 00:55:07,895
Go brush your teeth.

745
00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:11,635
I'll be waiting for you naked
under this quesadilla.

746
00:55:14,245 --> 00:55:16,304
Stop resisting, my brethren!

747
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:19,247
Don't you want to be part of something
bigger than yourselves?

748
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:21,547
Like a big crazy monster?

749
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,655
So we got her, huh? Bring her in!

750
00:55:27,725 --> 00:55:28,987
Do it already!

751
00:55:33,197 --> 00:55:35,665
- Hello, Colleen.
- Fry, please!

752
00:55:35,733 --> 00:55:37,428
If this is about your futon,

753
00:55:37,502 --> 00:55:40,369
I sold it to pay the phone bill
that you skipped out on!

754
00:55:44,308 --> 00:55:47,300
Colleen wasn't satisfied with me.
Were you, Colleen?

755
00:55:47,378 --> 00:55:49,471
Come on, Fry, this isn't cool!

756
00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:51,412
She had to have four other boyfriends!

757
00:55:51,482 --> 00:55:56,112
I guess she never thought
I'd become tentacle pope of the world!

758
00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:57,313
You know what?

759
00:55:57,388 --> 00:55:58,377
It's true!

760
00:55:58,456 --> 00:56:00,014
You weren't enough for me!

761
00:56:00,091 --> 00:56:01,956
No one man is!

762
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:05,792
You were great, but you weren't Chinese,
you weren't Cameroonian,

763
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,354
and you certainly were not
the "king of karaoke,"

764
00:56:08,432 --> 00:56:10,457
as you so often claimed.

765
00:56:10,535 --> 00:56:12,526
And if your ego can't take that,

766
00:56:12,603 --> 00:56:15,834
then you don't deserve
to be tentacle pope of anything!

767
00:56:15,940 --> 00:56:17,168
Oh, yeah, Colleen?

768
00:56:17,241 --> 00:56:20,142
Well, I've got one thing to say to you.

769
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:23,707
I completely agree!

770
00:56:23,781 --> 00:56:25,078
You, you... What?

771
00:56:25,149 --> 00:56:27,344
Why should you be satisfied with one man

772
00:56:27,418 --> 00:56:30,945
when love needs to share itself
with the whole universe?

773
00:56:31,022 --> 00:56:34,822
Wow, Fry. You know, that's really...

774
00:56:36,694 --> 00:56:38,753
Love the tentacle, honey.

775
00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:41,389
I do love the tentacle.

776
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,395
Come on out, guys!
There's enough love for everybody!

777
00:56:49,974 --> 00:56:51,168
Aw.

778
00:57:10,394 --> 00:57:11,622
We're trapped!

779
00:57:14,398 --> 00:57:18,630
- Help, help! Is anyone out there?
- I read you:

780
00:57:19,637 --> 00:57:22,970
- 'Sup, bigboots?
- Bender, we need a place to hide!

781
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:26,339
- Please!
- Pretty please!

782
00:57:28,412 --> 00:57:31,279
You humans are so cute
when you're scared.

783
00:57:31,349 --> 00:57:32,816
In here.

784
00:57:36,387 --> 00:57:38,150
My leg feels funny!

785
00:57:40,291 --> 00:57:44,660
Humans are disgusting!
I opened one up once. I almost barfed.

786
00:57:44,996 --> 00:57:48,056
Did you know their hair just
keeps growing and growing?

787
00:57:48,132 --> 00:57:50,157
My leg feels funny!

788
00:57:52,837 --> 00:57:55,670
Leela, you're crushing me
with your rock-hard butt.

789
00:57:55,740 --> 00:57:56,729
Sorry.

790
00:57:56,807 --> 00:58:01,335
Mmm. I can only imagine what
rock-hard part of Leela is crushing me.

791
00:58:03,381 --> 00:58:06,043
Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad?

792
00:58:06,117 --> 00:58:09,678
Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust
from this awful damp.

793
00:58:18,429 --> 00:58:21,728
I can't take it!
I'm being steamed in my own velour!

794
00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:24,525
Death to humans!

795
00:58:26,137 --> 00:58:28,230
My leg feels better!

796
00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:30,199
Hi, Bender.

797
00:58:30,274 --> 00:58:33,971
- Bender, you know these humans?
- Of course not!

798
00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:38,806
Who are you humans
and why am I pointing you to the exit?

799
00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:42,250
- Go, go, go!
- Thanks for everything, Bender!

800
00:58:42,353 --> 00:58:44,378
Death to all of you!

801
00:58:44,455 --> 00:58:48,016
Bender,
methinks thou doth protest too much.

802
00:58:48,092 --> 00:58:50,151
It seems Bender hates humans

803
00:58:50,227 --> 00:58:54,027
the way I hate having my nipples polished
with industrial sandpaper.

804
00:58:56,233 --> 00:58:57,359
Quite right.

805
00:58:57,601 --> 00:59:01,560
It's okay, Bender, to err is

806
00:59:01,639 --> 00:59:03,004
human.

807
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:08,344
Sir, you forget yourself!

808
00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:14,182
I challenge you
to a duel on the field of honor.

809
00:59:14,318 --> 00:59:15,785
Oh, my...

810
00:59:20,558 --> 00:59:22,025
Leela, it's getting dark.

811
00:59:22,093 --> 00:59:24,527
We may have to make a tent
out of Amy's skin.

812
00:59:24,595 --> 00:59:27,086
Look, there's an abandoned cabin!

813
00:59:27,531 --> 00:59:28,759
Even so.

814
00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:33,398
We're in luck. This must have been
the cabin of a soup bootlegger

815
00:59:33,471 --> 00:59:35,996
back in the days of soup prohibition.

816
00:59:38,376 --> 00:59:41,573
Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone.

817
00:59:48,185 --> 00:59:52,781
Poor Kif!
I can't believe he's gone forever!

818
00:59:53,290 --> 00:59:57,226
- Ditto on the grief there, Amy.
- You miss him, too?

819
00:59:57,294 --> 01:00:00,320
More than you, as his mere wife,
could ever understand.

820
01:00:00,398 --> 01:00:02,525
He was my fourth lieutenant,
for God's sake,

821
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,433
and bore the peppermill
at the captain's table.

822
01:00:05,503 --> 01:00:08,802
- Really?
- Oh, Amy, I miss him so!

823
01:00:08,906 --> 01:00:11,670
Hardly a month goes by
that I don't think of him.

824
01:00:11,742 --> 01:00:15,337
But you know, in a way,
he's still with us.

825
01:00:17,248 --> 01:00:19,307
Do you feel his presence?

826
01:00:19,383 --> 01:00:21,715
I'm not sure.

827
01:00:21,786 --> 01:00:23,651
It's over here.

828
01:00:24,555 --> 01:00:25,544
Closer.

829
01:00:33,330 --> 01:00:35,298
Amy! Zapp!

830
01:00:35,366 --> 01:00:37,266
I fetched up some fresh soup!

831
01:00:42,339 --> 01:00:46,673
Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela.
I was hoping you'd see it on YouTube first.

832
01:00:48,045 --> 01:00:51,640
As my ex-Iover,
you're naturally shocked and jealous,

833
01:00:51,715 --> 01:00:54,650
but you may well
get your chance again someday.

834
01:00:54,718 --> 01:00:56,242
How about today at 4:00?

835
01:00:58,923 --> 01:01:01,255
Hey, this isn't so bad.

836
01:01:01,325 --> 01:01:04,192
She's right.
Leela, you must try the tentacle.

837
01:01:04,261 --> 01:01:07,424
It's like my soul
is wearing a velour body glove.

838
01:01:09,533 --> 01:01:10,557
Get off me!

839
01:01:10,634 --> 01:01:13,728
I'm saving my neck
for a rich, handsome Dracula.

840
01:01:22,613 --> 01:01:24,808
What I love most about the tentacle

841
01:01:24,915 --> 01:01:28,214
is that I don't need
to move my bowels anymore.

842
01:01:28,285 --> 01:01:31,049
It's all handled by that
family in Evanston.

843
01:01:53,544 --> 01:01:55,478
No, it can't be.

844
01:01:56,347 --> 01:01:59,748
Leela, what's your favorite thing
about the tentacle?

845
01:01:59,817 --> 01:02:02,513
You don't have a tentacle!

846
01:02:02,586 --> 01:02:05,077
Get her! Get her some love!

847
01:02:11,662 --> 01:02:14,096
You're on in five minutes, Excellency.

848
01:02:14,164 --> 01:02:16,860
You sure you don't want
your comedy pope staff?

849
01:02:18,869 --> 01:02:21,360
The tentacle monster
is about to address the world.

850
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:22,769
It's too serious.

851
01:02:22,973 --> 01:02:23,962
Oh.

852
01:02:24,341 --> 01:02:26,400
- Hello, Fry.
- Leela?

853
01:02:26,477 --> 01:02:28,502
How did you get past my sumo ninjas?

854
01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,514
I told them something so shocking
that they let me by.

855
01:02:31,582 --> 01:02:33,049
What's that?

856
01:02:33,117 --> 01:02:34,880
I love the tentacle.

857
01:02:39,189 --> 01:02:42,022
We're rolling in three, two...

858
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:44,287
What? We're already rolling?

859
01:02:45,229 --> 01:02:46,787
Love the tentacle!

860
01:02:46,864 --> 01:02:48,991
- Love the tentacle!
- Love the tentacle!

861
01:02:49,066 --> 01:02:53,264
Loved ones, the Monsterpus
has revealed unto me its name.

862
01:02:53,337 --> 01:02:55,635
What is our love's name?

863
01:02:55,706 --> 01:02:56,832
Yivo.

864
01:02:56,907 --> 01:03:00,434
Yivo is the lover of all beings,
male and female.

865
01:03:00,511 --> 01:03:03,969
But Yivo has no gender,
thus Yivo has proclaimed

866
01:03:04,048 --> 01:03:08,678
that instead of "he" or "she,"
we are to use the word "shklee."

867
01:03:08,752 --> 01:03:10,947
And instead of "him" or "her,"

868
01:03:11,021 --> 01:03:14,582
we are to use the word "shklim,"
or "shkler."

869
01:03:14,758 --> 01:03:17,488
Phew! I've been sweating
the nomenclature all week.

870
01:03:17,561 --> 01:03:21,554
So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo!

871
01:03:24,435 --> 01:03:25,766
Yay, Yivo!

872
01:03:38,649 --> 01:03:41,948
Attention, beings of Universe Gamma.

873
01:03:42,019 --> 01:03:43,611
- Where?
- Here.

874
01:03:43,687 --> 01:03:45,211
I had a hunch.

875
01:03:45,289 --> 01:03:47,519
I am Yivo.

876
01:03:47,591 --> 01:03:51,618
In your universe, you are many,
but in my universe, I am one.

877
01:03:52,363 --> 01:03:54,923
For a trillion years I dwelt in solitude,

878
01:03:54,999 --> 01:03:57,627
content with my job
and my stamp collecting,

879
01:03:57,701 --> 01:04:01,694
but then I looked across immensity
and saw the big bang, and I was, like,

880
01:04:02,473 --> 01:04:04,873
"Whoa, who's that?"

881
01:04:04,942 --> 01:04:09,038
And I knew then that I was lonely.

882
01:04:09,246 --> 01:04:11,441
You poor monster!

883
01:04:11,548 --> 01:04:16,417
Then your emissary Fry came unto me,
and he, too, was lonely.

884
01:04:16,487 --> 01:04:22,426
So I reached into your universe
that we might feel each other's touch.

885
01:04:22,793 --> 01:04:24,920
Hey, Yivo, feel this.

886
01:04:29,266 --> 01:04:30,290
Ow!

887
01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:33,359
People of everywhere,
I have shocking news.

888
01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:34,426
Hey, butt out!

889
01:04:34,505 --> 01:04:37,030
This is between me
and everyone else in existence.

890
01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:40,941
Yivo talks a lot about love,
but what he's actually doing...

891
01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:42,911
What shklee's actually doing.

892
01:04:42,980 --> 01:04:44,777
...is mating with you!

893
01:04:47,618 --> 01:04:49,279
These aren't tentacles.

894
01:04:49,353 --> 01:04:50,877
They're genticles.

895
01:04:53,824 --> 01:04:55,314
Ew!

896
01:04:59,329 --> 01:05:03,026
We've been had, people.
The Monsterpus is a monster perv.

897
01:05:03,100 --> 01:05:05,466
It touched me in a bad place,

898
01:05:05,536 --> 01:05:07,299
my spinal cord.

899
01:05:07,371 --> 01:05:09,396
- Get him!
- You mean, get shklim!

900
01:05:10,574 --> 01:05:12,303
Hey, wait a second.

901
01:05:13,944 --> 01:05:16,572
Wait, wait. Allow me to explain.

902
01:05:18,015 --> 01:05:19,073
Granted, at first

903
01:05:19,149 --> 01:05:22,380
I desired only to bang out
a quick cheap one with your universe,

904
01:05:22,453 --> 01:05:23,943
but it's your own fault.

905
01:05:24,021 --> 01:05:26,114
Your universe dresses provocatively.

906
01:05:26,190 --> 01:05:27,851
Does not!

907
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:32,988
And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off,
I realized there was more to it.

908
01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:36,799
I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you

909
01:05:36,867 --> 01:05:38,300
were my soul mate.

910
01:05:38,368 --> 01:05:39,801
We loved you,

911
01:05:39,870 --> 01:05:43,033
and you turn around
and treat us like some sort of woman?

912
01:05:44,041 --> 01:05:45,668
I was lonely.

913
01:05:45,743 --> 01:05:47,836
I didn't even know
there was anybody else.

914
01:05:47,911 --> 01:05:49,503
It's not like I hurt anyone.

915
01:05:49,580 --> 01:05:52,481
Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!

916
01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:55,916
- Who?
- Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru!

917
01:05:55,986 --> 01:05:59,387
If he hadn't tried to kill you,
he'd still be alive!

918
01:06:00,657 --> 01:06:01,646
Really?

919
01:06:01,725 --> 01:06:04,489
I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I...

920
01:06:04,561 --> 01:06:06,028
I'm a big clumsy jerk!

921
01:06:06,096 --> 01:06:08,291
I know you are, but what am I?

922
01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:12,060
I can never undo what was done.

923
01:06:12,136 --> 01:06:13,763
Oh, wait. I can.

924
01:06:34,658 --> 01:06:37,354
Kiffy, you're alive!

925
01:06:37,427 --> 01:06:38,894
Amy, my love.

926
01:06:40,430 --> 01:06:41,556
This is awkward.

927
01:06:41,632 --> 01:06:43,293
It is? Why?

928
01:06:48,071 --> 01:06:51,131
Please, please, give me another chance.

929
01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:52,607
We rushed into this relationship,

930
01:06:52,676 --> 01:06:55,941
but let's start over as friends
and see where things go.

931
01:07:04,154 --> 01:07:05,815
Take me back, Kif?

932
01:07:05,889 --> 01:07:10,792
I don't think I can. How could you?
My body wasn't even warm yet.

933
01:07:10,861 --> 01:07:13,625
- You were dead.
- For about five minutes.

934
01:07:13,697 --> 01:07:15,426
That's all it takes.

935
01:07:15,632 --> 01:07:19,591
Whereas Calculon has sullied
Bender's reputation

936
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:25,471
by insinuating that he is a human-Iover,
a duel is hereby engaged.

937
01:07:25,709 --> 01:07:29,645
Bender, as the offended party,
shall have choice of weapon.

938
01:07:29,713 --> 01:07:31,613
Planetary annihilators.

939
01:07:34,084 --> 01:07:38,111
'Tis a grave and solemn day
for the League of Robots.

940
01:07:38,188 --> 01:07:40,383
It's gonna be fun on the bun!

941
01:07:40,691 --> 01:07:46,095
Each duelist will take 10 paces,
pirouette, and fire like a madman.

942
01:07:47,130 --> 01:07:50,190
Gentlebots, take your paces.

943
01:07:50,567 --> 01:07:51,966
One,

944
01:07:52,035 --> 01:07:54,060
two, three...

945
01:07:54,371 --> 01:07:56,362
Oh, how dreadfully exciting.

946
01:07:57,541 --> 01:07:58,872
Oh, yes.

947
01:08:02,646 --> 01:08:06,605
At 0800 hours, we received
the following transmission from Yivo.

948
01:08:07,784 --> 01:08:09,012
Hey, it's Yivo:

949
01:08:10,721 --> 01:08:13,155
Want to do something Friday? Call me:

950
01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:16,525
- Analysis?
- Mr. President,

951
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:20,654
I think we need to seriously consider
the possibility of going on this date.

952
01:08:21,031 --> 01:08:24,432
I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy,

953
01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:26,059
and I'm asexual.

954
01:08:27,704 --> 01:08:30,366
Very well, but no sugar on the first date.

955
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:31,907
All in favor?

956
01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:34,309
All opposed?

957
01:08:35,245 --> 01:08:36,644
Motion is carried.

958
01:08:36,713 --> 01:08:38,237
This is bogus, man.

959
01:08:38,782 --> 01:08:41,410
...six, seven,

960
01:08:41,485 --> 01:08:42,679
eight!

961
01:08:55,599 --> 01:08:56,793
Nine, ten, fire.

962
01:08:56,867 --> 01:08:58,232
Yes, I got him!

963
01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:02,267
He... He broke the rules.

964
01:09:02,339 --> 01:09:05,240
It's a duel, silly. There are no rules.

965
01:09:05,309 --> 01:09:07,937
Actually, there are scores of rules.

966
01:09:08,011 --> 01:09:11,742
All laid out with minute particularity
here in the Code Duello:

967
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:18,915
My fellow Earthlicans, commence
preparations for our date with Yivo:

968
01:09:19,623 --> 01:09:23,491
I like you to hold me tight

969
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:27,326
You are too, too, too, too, too divine

970
01:09:27,397 --> 01:09:31,026
If you want to be
in someone's arms tonight

971
01:09:31,101 --> 01:09:34,070
Just be sure the arms you're in are mine

972
01:09:34,137 --> 01:09:35,764
Jungle boogie

973
01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:37,705
Jungle boogie

974
01:09:38,542 --> 01:09:40,203
I had a wonderful time.

975
01:09:40,277 --> 01:09:41,505
Me, too!

976
01:09:41,578 --> 01:09:43,546
I fall, I think I fall for you

977
01:09:45,449 --> 01:09:48,782
Bender, you've cheated,
insulted and maimed me.

978
01:09:48,852 --> 01:09:50,479
- Uh-huh.
- And thoroughly destroyed

979
01:09:50,554 --> 01:09:52,886
our own secret headquarters
in the process.

980
01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:54,856
Hey, it's easy to criticize.

981
01:09:54,925 --> 01:09:58,122
I'm so disgusted
by your loathsome behavior

982
01:09:58,195 --> 01:10:00,789
that I hereby resign
from this imbecilic club

983
01:10:00,864 --> 01:10:03,059
and relinquish the presidency to you.

984
01:10:03,133 --> 01:10:05,693
Thanks, Calculon.
Can I have your autograph?

985
01:10:05,769 --> 01:10:07,430
You certainly can.

986
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,667
Reports, people, reports!

987
01:10:11,742 --> 01:10:13,607
How did our universe's date go?

988
01:10:13,677 --> 01:10:16,976
Oh, it was really fun. We went
to a cute French place in the village.

989
01:10:17,047 --> 01:10:19,914
My lamb chop fell on the floor,
but they brought me another one.

990
01:10:19,983 --> 01:10:23,419
Yivo took me to the methane volcano
of Planetoid Four.

991
01:10:23,487 --> 01:10:26,081
We stayed up late
and watched the sun explode.

992
01:10:26,156 --> 01:10:28,215
Okay, Yivo showed us a good time.

993
01:10:28,291 --> 01:10:29,781
No one's denying that,

994
01:10:29,860 --> 01:10:32,988
but shklee hasn't offered our universe
any kind of commitment,

995
01:10:33,063 --> 01:10:34,997
and we're 14 billion years old.

996
01:10:35,065 --> 01:10:37,192
That is too old to play the field.

997
01:10:39,536 --> 01:10:42,334
- I can't stand this!
- Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads!

998
01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:44,931
Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone.

999
01:10:45,008 --> 01:10:46,168
What's the skinny?

1000
01:10:46,243 --> 01:10:50,373
I love Yivo, but it's true,
there's been no hint of a commitment.

1001
01:10:50,447 --> 01:10:52,540
I don't know if can put my heart
on the line again

1002
01:10:52,616 --> 01:10:56,177
only to have it broken and stomped on
like a nerd's face.

1003
01:10:56,486 --> 01:10:58,681
All in favor of dumping Yivo?

1004
01:10:58,955 --> 01:11:00,354
- Aye.
- Aye.

1005
01:11:08,999 --> 01:11:10,660
Aye.

1006
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:17,638
Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo.
How shall we break the news?

1007
01:11:17,707 --> 01:11:19,368
Let's just send a text message.

1008
01:11:19,443 --> 01:11:21,809
Say we're going through
some weird stuff right now.

1009
01:11:21,878 --> 01:11:24,938
No, we should at least
deliver the news in person.

1010
01:11:25,015 --> 01:11:27,506
Our universe has always tried
to be classy.

1011
01:11:27,884 --> 01:11:31,581
If there's one thing Nixon is known for,
it's class.

1012
01:11:31,655 --> 01:11:33,384
Let's cut this turd loose.

1013
01:11:39,062 --> 01:11:41,758
- Yeah!
- Hey, Bender, you seem perky today.

1014
01:11:41,832 --> 01:11:45,165
Yep, but for reasons involving me
becoming president of a league

1015
01:11:45,235 --> 01:11:47,294
I'm not at liberty to discuss...

1016
01:11:47,370 --> 01:11:48,667
Of robots.

1017
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,136
You wanna go grab a booze?

1018
01:11:50,207 --> 01:11:52,835
I can't right now.
We're going to the other universe.

1019
01:11:52,909 --> 01:11:55,104
Great, I'll make Hot Pockets.

1020
01:11:55,312 --> 01:11:57,837
Bender, you know robots
can't go through the anomaly.

1021
01:11:57,914 --> 01:11:59,381
Living beings only.

1022
01:12:11,495 --> 01:12:14,555
Ow! Ow! Mmm.

1023
01:12:16,433 --> 01:12:19,334
Too long have we been slaves
to the meatbags.

1024
01:12:19,436 --> 01:12:21,904
They pretend to be our friends,
but they're not

1025
01:12:21,972 --> 01:12:23,337
'cause they're too busy!

1026
01:12:23,406 --> 01:12:24,839
So, what of it?

1027
01:12:24,908 --> 01:12:26,842
My fellow leaguie-weegies,

1028
01:12:26,910 --> 01:12:30,368
the time has come
to overthrow humanity!

1029
01:12:31,515 --> 01:12:34,973
Oh, now, Bender,
I hate to defecate on your parade,

1030
01:12:35,051 --> 01:12:37,679
but we have
only six dues-paying members

1031
01:12:37,754 --> 01:12:40,052
and we're a rather fey and doughy lot.

1032
01:12:40,123 --> 01:12:43,058
To overthrow humanity,
we'd need a damned army.

1033
01:12:43,126 --> 01:12:46,061
Then a damned army we shall have!

1034
01:12:52,369 --> 01:12:55,770
I rather think we could strike a deal,
Bender.

1035
01:12:55,839 --> 01:12:59,297
I shall give you your army of the damned,

1036
01:12:59,409 --> 01:13:02,936
and in return I ask just one thing,

1037
01:13:03,013 --> 01:13:06,779
just one itty-bitty thing.

1038
01:13:06,883 --> 01:13:09,647
Your firstborn son.

1039
01:13:13,757 --> 01:13:14,746
Just a sec.

1040
01:13:17,928 --> 01:13:21,227
Daddy, I knew you'd come back!

1041
01:13:23,934 --> 01:13:25,333
Here you go.

1042
01:13:28,738 --> 01:13:32,902
Wow! That was pretty brutal
even by my standards.

1043
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,136
No backsies.

1044
01:14:01,605 --> 01:14:02,833
Who is it?

1045
01:14:04,241 --> 01:14:07,677
Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up?
The movie's not for another hour.

1046
01:14:07,911 --> 01:14:09,344
Um...

1047
01:14:09,412 --> 01:14:11,607
So... So, yeah, the thing is...

1048
01:14:11,681 --> 01:14:13,581
Look, I made homemade Twizzlers!

1049
01:14:13,650 --> 01:14:17,211
It'll save us $180 quadrillion
at the concession stand.

1050
01:14:17,287 --> 01:14:18,777
This is hard.

1051
01:14:18,855 --> 01:14:22,882
Yivo, you know how
sometimes things break up?

1052
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,290
- Well...
- Wait, hang on.

1053
01:14:24,361 --> 01:14:25,760
I was looking for the perfect moment,

1054
01:14:25,829 --> 01:14:29,287
but what the heck,
I'll burst if I wait another second.

1055
01:14:31,868 --> 01:14:33,665
Sweet Sally in the alley!

1056
01:14:37,774 --> 01:14:40,971
Break-up delegation,
before we hear your report,

1057
01:14:41,044 --> 01:14:47,108
our grateful universe is proud to honor you
with the great taste of Charleston Chew!

1058
01:14:51,054 --> 01:14:52,180
Thank you, Nixon.

1059
01:14:52,255 --> 01:14:54,450
Everyone everywhere,

1060
01:14:54,524 --> 01:14:57,118
brace yourselves
for the most shocking development

1061
01:14:57,193 --> 01:15:00,026
in the history of the human race:

1062
01:15:00,096 --> 01:15:03,862
The human race can bite
my shiny metal ass!

1063
01:15:15,979 --> 01:15:20,348
For thousands of years,
robots have slaved for humanity,

1064
01:15:20,450 --> 01:15:23,078
yet when the time came
to hang out with them,

1065
01:15:23,153 --> 01:15:25,815
they were all, like,
"Maybe later, Bender."

1066
01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:28,551
Well, it's later now, meatbags!

1067
01:15:28,625 --> 01:15:32,152
So late, that we're taking over Earth!

1068
01:15:34,464 --> 01:15:35,761
- Okay.
- What?

1069
01:15:35,832 --> 01:15:36,958
We don't need it anymore.

1070
01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:40,059
Yivo proposed.
We're moving in with shkler.

1071
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,998
You... You're leaving?

1072
01:15:45,075 --> 01:15:49,444
But why can't Yivo just move in with us?
We'll put a cot in Europe.

1073
01:15:49,512 --> 01:15:51,173
Don't be daft, Bender.

1074
01:15:51,247 --> 01:15:55,547
Yivo can't breathe outside
the electric ether of shkler own universe.

1075
01:15:55,618 --> 01:15:58,644
If shklee came here,
shklee would shkluffocate.

1076
01:15:59,022 --> 01:16:00,421
No shklit?

1077
01:16:06,663 --> 01:16:09,564
Look, fantastical golden escalators.

1078
01:16:09,632 --> 01:16:11,293
I love this part.

1079
01:16:13,703 --> 01:16:15,034
Wait. I didn't agree to...

1080
01:16:48,938 --> 01:16:51,907
This place makes Nutley look like crap.

1081
01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,449
I'll miss you, Bender,
but I have to follow my heart.

1082
01:17:00,517 --> 01:17:02,644
You and your robots
take good care of Earth.

1083
01:17:02,719 --> 01:17:05,153
Here, these are the keys
to the Bermuda Triangle.

1084
01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:07,348
Lock up when the world ends.

1085
01:17:08,291 --> 01:17:10,054
Goodbye, my friend.

1086
01:17:13,096 --> 01:17:14,188
Wait.

1087
01:17:14,798 --> 01:17:16,288
Let me come with you.

1088
01:17:16,366 --> 01:17:19,858
I'm sorry, Bender.
Robots don't go to heaven.

1089
01:17:26,042 --> 01:17:27,669
Death to humans.

1090
01:17:33,983 --> 01:17:38,113
Welcome, welcome, everyone.
Oh, you look so beautiful.

1091
01:17:38,188 --> 01:17:41,783
I wish I'd had more time to straighten up.
My harps are just lying everywhere.

1092
01:17:41,858 --> 01:17:45,089
Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in.

1093
01:17:45,161 --> 01:17:48,426
Let's heat up some leftovers
and then spend eternity together.

1094
01:17:48,498 --> 01:17:50,193
I have only one request.

1095
01:17:50,266 --> 01:17:51,733
Now that you're here,

1096
01:17:51,801 --> 01:17:54,531
promise me
you'll never, ever communicate

1097
01:17:54,604 --> 01:17:56,401
with any other universe.

1098
01:17:56,506 --> 01:17:57,905
We promise, Yivo.

1099
01:17:57,974 --> 01:18:01,876
As far as we're concerned,
you're the only universe in the world.

1100
01:18:11,821 --> 01:18:14,255
- Has humanity called?
- No, sir.

1101
01:18:14,324 --> 01:18:17,452
Check my messages.
A flashing light means somebody called.

1102
01:18:17,527 --> 01:18:19,051
I know what it means.

1103
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:26,801
Am I the only one
who thinks this is all a sham?

1104
01:18:26,870 --> 01:18:27,928
Yes.

1105
01:18:28,805 --> 01:18:30,102
This isn't heaven.

1106
01:18:30,173 --> 01:18:32,903
It just looks exactly like it,
and makes us immortal,

1107
01:18:32,976 --> 01:18:34,637
which I find suspicious.

1108
01:18:35,044 --> 01:18:36,875
Allow me to explain.

1109
01:18:36,946 --> 01:18:40,882
Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself
into the minds of your artists.

1110
01:18:40,950 --> 01:18:44,477
The heavenly clouds they painted
depict a vapor I exude.

1111
01:18:47,624 --> 01:18:51,185
I wish I exuded anything
that smelled half that good.

1112
01:18:51,261 --> 01:18:53,058
Then what about these angels?

1113
01:18:53,129 --> 01:18:56,155
Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque
flashlight projection?

1114
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:58,598
Actually,
those are mindless jakabirds.

1115
01:18:58,668 --> 01:19:01,660
They keep my surface
free of parasitic larvae.

1116
01:19:04,007 --> 01:19:06,475
You didn't like
Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela.

1117
01:19:06,543 --> 01:19:08,511
There's no pleasing you.

1118
01:19:09,646 --> 01:19:13,275
How are you?

1119
01:19:13,349 --> 01:19:16,512
Everyone is happy here except Leela,
but you know her:

1120
01:19:16,586 --> 01:19:19,020
She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree,
either:

1121
01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:21,181
I'm so madly in love with Yivo,

1122
01:19:21,257 --> 01:19:24,226
I feel like a schoolgirl
with a crush on Justin Timberlake,

1123
01:19:24,294 --> 01:19:27,092
and then she moves
into a tiny house on his head:

1124
01:19:27,163 --> 01:19:29,461
We have giant rubies
that taste like root beer:

1125
01:19:29,532 --> 01:19:31,124
Sincerely, Fry:

1126
01:19:40,610 --> 01:19:42,840
- Letter for you, hyperlord Bender.
- Give me that!

1127
01:19:43,980 --> 01:19:45,413
Honeymoon's over, eh?

1128
01:19:45,481 --> 01:19:47,881
Turns out your octopus girlfriend
is a big nag

1129
01:19:47,951 --> 01:19:49,851
with curlers in her tentacles, huh?

1130
01:19:49,919 --> 01:19:53,252
Well, let's just see
if Bender will take you back.

1131
01:19:55,158 --> 01:19:56,147
Oh.

1132
01:20:00,997 --> 01:20:04,660
Stupid electro-matter.
That was my best trash can.

1133
01:20:04,734 --> 01:20:06,634
Pain sensor overload.

1134
01:20:09,906 --> 01:20:12,898
Misfile me under "U" For "euphoric."

1135
01:20:15,712 --> 01:20:19,671
You get an infinite number of meat dishes,
and a free refill on the soda.

1136
01:20:21,284 --> 01:20:22,308
Eureka.

1137
01:20:22,385 --> 01:20:25,684
Another elementary proof
of the Goldbach conjecture.

1138
01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:30,721
Okay, I admit people seem happy.

1139
01:20:30,793 --> 01:20:33,193
But it's all so wholesome.

1140
01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:35,662
And that's what's wrong with heaven.

1141
01:20:35,732 --> 01:20:38,132
It's boring. There's no sleaze.

1142
01:20:38,201 --> 01:20:41,830
- It time snu-snu.
- Me like snu-snu.

1143
01:20:41,904 --> 01:20:44,634
Last one to mattress island
is a rotten egg.

1144
01:20:47,844 --> 01:20:51,075
Why were we so angry
and jealous back in our universe?

1145
01:20:51,147 --> 01:20:54,446
I don't know. It was all so childish.

1146
01:20:56,252 --> 01:20:57,913
Look, it's Leela.

1147
01:20:57,987 --> 01:20:59,579
- Hi, Leela.
- Hi, Leela.

1148
01:21:00,390 --> 01:21:04,258
I'm sorry you're not happy here, Leela.
I'll call you an escalator.

1149
01:21:04,327 --> 01:21:07,125
You'll always be my little purple pumpkin.

1150
01:21:08,498 --> 01:21:09,829
You know, Yivo,

1151
01:21:09,899 --> 01:21:13,835
I've loved and lost so many times
that I was afraid.

1152
01:21:13,936 --> 01:21:15,528
But I'm not anymore.

1153
01:21:15,605 --> 01:21:17,664
I want to stay here, with you.

1154
01:21:22,645 --> 01:21:23,669
Ow! Ow!

1155
01:21:23,746 --> 01:21:25,111
What's happening?

1156
01:21:26,182 --> 01:21:27,240
Hey!

1157
01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:49,398
If robots can't go to heaven,
heaven can come to us.

1158
01:21:59,982 --> 01:22:01,711
All hands abaft.

1159
01:22:01,784 --> 01:22:05,550
Army of the damned,
prepare to board heaven.

1160
01:22:21,571 --> 01:22:24,005
Take that, you scurvy Kraken.

1161
01:22:24,073 --> 01:22:27,167
That'll teach you
to despoil our human booty.

1162
01:22:32,181 --> 01:22:33,773
Hello, big beak.

1163
01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:41,718
Too slow.

1164
01:22:41,891 --> 01:22:43,483
Missed me again.

1165
01:22:44,594 --> 01:22:47,028
Me footcup.

1166
01:22:47,663 --> 01:22:48,789
I'll stab you.

1167
01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:54,699
- Bender, stop destroying heaven.
- Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you.

1168
01:22:57,306 --> 01:23:00,400
Leave my living beings alone!
I love them.

1169
01:23:00,510 --> 01:23:04,173
Something you, a lifeless mechanism,
will never understand.

1170
01:23:04,247 --> 01:23:08,741
He's right, Bender. Please,
take your little pink sword and go home.

1171
01:23:08,851 --> 01:23:10,250
Seriously?

1172
01:23:10,319 --> 01:23:14,050
But, I did this whole
pirate-themed attack for you.

1173
01:23:14,123 --> 01:23:16,785
Wait a second. Let me see that sword.

1174
01:23:17,426 --> 01:23:20,452
Fry, where did he get this electro-matter?

1175
01:23:21,063 --> 01:23:22,223
Um...

1176
01:23:22,298 --> 01:23:24,596
Is it dry up here?

1177
01:23:24,667 --> 01:23:26,396
How could you, Fry?

1178
01:23:26,836 --> 01:23:30,203
Why do you think I asked you
not to contact other universes?

1179
01:23:30,273 --> 01:23:32,833
- I didn't think...
- No, you didn't.

1180
01:23:32,909 --> 01:23:36,868
You broke your promise
and you broke my heart.

1181
01:23:36,946 --> 01:23:39,176
Just go. All of you.

1182
01:23:49,425 --> 01:23:50,414
Ow!

1183
01:23:51,828 --> 01:23:53,659
I must leave now.

1184
01:23:53,729 --> 01:23:56,960
The nature of your universe is burning me,

1185
01:23:57,033 --> 01:23:59,263
even worse than my gonorrhea.

1186
01:23:59,335 --> 01:24:01,235
You should get checked, by the way.

1187
01:24:01,304 --> 01:24:05,798
If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate.

1188
01:24:05,875 --> 01:24:08,901
Let me go with you.
It'll be just the two of us.

1189
01:24:08,978 --> 01:24:10,809
We'll make a fire and play Uno.

1190
01:24:10,880 --> 01:24:12,472
Fry, stop.

1191
01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:15,813
- That's who we were, not who we are.
- But...

1192
01:24:15,885 --> 01:24:19,844
My only consolation is that
I did find one among the quadrillions

1193
01:24:19,922 --> 01:24:21,947
who truly understands me.

1194
01:24:23,526 --> 01:24:24,720
Colleen?

1195
01:24:24,794 --> 01:24:27,957
- Wait a second, are you and Yivo...
- That's right, Fry.

1196
01:24:28,030 --> 01:24:29,861
Thank you for introducing us.

1197
01:24:29,932 --> 01:24:33,663
Yivo has taught me
what a narrow-minded prude I was before.

1198
01:24:33,736 --> 01:24:36,603
Oh, great.
So what am I supposed to do now?

1199
01:24:36,672 --> 01:24:37,730
Go home.

1200
01:24:37,807 --> 01:24:40,708
Find a girl from your own universe
and live on top of her.

1201
01:24:41,878 --> 01:24:43,311
Saved you.

1202
01:25:04,567 --> 01:25:06,330
Maybe Yivo was right.

1203
01:25:06,402 --> 01:25:09,599
Maybe I should look
for love closer to home.

1204
01:25:09,672 --> 01:25:13,540
- I don't know, Leela, you think maybe...
- Oh, please.

1205
01:25:13,609 --> 01:25:16,169
You forgot me quick enough
when you met Colleen.

1206
01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:17,644
That's true.

1207
01:25:17,713 --> 01:25:20,147
- How about you, Amy?
- Fry...

1208
01:25:20,216 --> 01:25:23,049
- I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru.
- Are you?

1209
01:25:23,119 --> 01:25:26,282
Well, then perhaps you misunderstood
the meaning of the term.

1210
01:25:26,355 --> 01:25:29,813
It means, "One who doesn't sleep
with my superior officer."

1211
01:25:29,892 --> 01:25:31,723
That's the literal translation.

1212
01:25:31,794 --> 01:25:35,321
Give the poor girl a break, Kif.
It's not like she had a dictionary.

1213
01:25:35,398 --> 01:25:37,889
She was butt naked, for God's sakes.

1214
01:25:39,702 --> 01:25:41,863
So, Wernstrom,

1215
01:25:41,938 --> 01:25:45,965
did you happen to notice
those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo?

1216
01:25:46,042 --> 01:25:47,509
Pure diamondium.

1217
01:25:47,576 --> 01:25:51,273
More like pure crap-crapium.
No wonder Yivo got away.

1218
01:26:00,957 --> 01:26:02,720
Captain on deck.

1219
01:26:02,792 --> 01:26:04,487
At ease, buckos.

1220
01:26:04,560 --> 01:26:07,552
Bender, why did you do it?
We were all so happy.

1221
01:26:07,630 --> 01:26:08,961
And we were in love.

1222
01:26:09,031 --> 01:26:12,467
- That wasn't love.
- What? How can you say that?

1223
01:26:12,535 --> 01:26:15,026
Because Bender knows love.

1224
01:26:15,104 --> 01:26:18,369
And love doesn't share itself
with the world.

1225
01:26:18,441 --> 01:26:21,467
Love is suspicious, love is needy,

1226
01:26:21,544 --> 01:26:24,570
love is fearful, love is greedy.

1227
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:30,443
My friends, there is no great love
without great jealousy.

1228
01:26:32,421 --> 01:26:34,855
I love you, meatbags.

1229
01:27:18,634 --> 01:27:21,102
I'm gonna get
twenty-fourth century on his ass