1
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,598
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,709
Here it is, gentlemen.
3
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,588
Enough kaboom to turn Gotham
into the world's biggest pothole.
4
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,757
What say we start the
bidding at one million?
5
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,677
- One million.
- Two million.
6
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,637
- Three million.
- Five.
7
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:41,852
Gentlemen, please.
Don't insult me with nickel-and-dime bids.
8
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:46,106
The man who walks out with this bomb
walks out with Gotham in his pocket.
9
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,900
Yours to pick clean
or blow sky-high.
10
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,486
Your call. What am I bid?
11
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,197
JOKER: How about nothing?
12
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:58,160
Zero, zip, zilch, nada.
13
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,164
My personal check for bupkis.
14
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,751
Drawn on the First
National Bank of Squadoo.
15
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,210
(JOKER LAUGHS)
16
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,296
(GUNS COCKING)
17
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,716
Sorry, boys,
18
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,509
this lot is sold.
19
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,598
(ALL SCREAMING)
20
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,144
(CHUCKLING)
21
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,397
(GROANS)
22
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,150
Whoops.
23
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,277
(SCREAMS)
24
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,574
You really should loosen
up, dear.
25
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,576
Have a laugh now and then.
26
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,956
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
27
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,004
That's so much more pleasant.
28
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,716
MAYOR: Alerting the public now would
only cause a panic, Commissioner.
29
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,595
But if that madman plans to use the
bomb, we've got to clear the city.
30
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,890
MAYOR: Ican't evacuate 10 million
people on your suspicions.
31
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,601
We don't even know if the
bomb's still in Gotham.
32
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,812
Keep me posted if
you find anything.
33
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,357
The Joker will be extra
cautious this time.
34
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,775
We'll have to think like him.
35
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,111
Or recruit someone who does.
36
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,827
(SINGING)
37
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,415
(DOOR OPENS)
38
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,833
Ms. Quinn.
39
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,167
(GASPS)
40
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,878
(GROANS)
41
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,380
(GAGGING)
42
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:39,052
Don't you knock before
entering a lady's boudoir?
43
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,639
- I need help.
- Well, you've come to the right place.
44
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,391
I recommend a lobotomy.
45
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,144
The Joker's stolen a bomb.
46
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,271
If I can't get to him in time
47
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:52,482
this city and everyone in it is
going up in a mushroom cloud.
48
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,195
So you want me to turn
squealer on Mr. J. Ha!
49
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,532
Sorry, B-man, no deal.
50
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,285
I've talked to Gordon
and Dr. Bartholomew.
51
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,788
You help me find the Joker,
and they'll write your ticket out of here.
52
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,123
Whee!
53
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,625
If you promise no double-cross.
54
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,629
Ah, shoot,
take all the fun out of life.
55
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,840
I don't have time for jokes.
56
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,801
Okay, okay, I promise.
57
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,011
Shake?
58
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,309
Oh, the irony of it.
59
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:31,688
The grim, stalwart Dark Knight
and his greatest female adversary
60
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,899
fighting together
to save the city.
61
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,449
I sense a lack of trust.
62
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,912
Sure you don't need any help
keeping Zippy under control?
63
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,246
I'm fine.
64
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,583
Besides, I need you to be ready
if Gordon's men get any leads.
65
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,877
- I'll signal if there's trouble.
- You got it.
66
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,755
- HARLEY: I wanna listen to the radio.
- Don't!
67
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,469
(TIRES SCREECHING)
68
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,269
Oops.
69
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,355
Listen, and listen good.
70
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,775
You don't touch
anything, say anything
71
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,902
or do anything
unless I tell you!
72
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,279
- Got it?
- Yes, sir.
73
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,327
So far, Joker hasn't been seen
at any of his old hideouts.
74
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,664
I want you to show me the last
place he used when he escaped.
75
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,583
Okay.
76
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,300
This used to be our
special love nest.
77
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:49,099
Have a look around while I slip
into something more comfortable.
78
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,809
No tricks.
79
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,228
Hey, we have a deal, remember?
80
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,416
- (HYENAS GROWLING)
- (YELPS)
81
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,218
(HYENAS SNARLING)
82
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,220
Whee!
83
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:31,683
Ah! I feel like a
human being again.
84
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,146
Hi, babies! Mommy's home!
85
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,193
Are you the sweetest babies?
86
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:45,071
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
87
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,576
How do you like our ha-hacienda?
88
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,119
Charming.
89
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,330
Especially these monitors.
90
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,916
Between the cops,
city hall and the mayor's office,
91
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,584
Joker has the whole city wired.
92
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,252
He's a genius.
93
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,129
What's the attraction, Quinn?
94
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,798
This sick infatuation
with the Joker.
95
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,051
Look, Bats, when I was a doctor
96
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,887
I was always listening to
other people's problems.
97
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:15,143
Then I met Mr. J., who listened to me
for a change and made everything fun.
98
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,314
You think it's funny
when he hurts people?
99
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,191
It's just a joke.
100
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,443
Hope you're still laughing
when it's your turn.
101
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,111
Hmph.
102
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,532
BATMAN: Meet us at the
Apex novelty factory.
103
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:33,078
Quinn says it's an old hideout.
But the Joker may be using it again.
104
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,371
I'm on my way.
105
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,218
- Grab on.
- I can do it myself, thank you.
106
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,596
Ha-ha! Ow!
107
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,683
(LAUGHS FLIRTINGLY)
108
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,269
(SCREAMING)
109
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,156
Sneak, sneak, sneak.
110
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,950
- Shh.
- Shh.
111
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,704
What do you mean, "Shh"?
No one's been in this dump for years.
112
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,583
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
113
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,722
(PANICKED CHATTER)
114
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,351
HARLEY: Uh-oh.
115
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,230
(BATMAN GROANS)
116
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,860
Hey, guys, look who I got.
117
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,403
(GROANS)
118
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,447
BOXY: Well, well.
119
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,133
If it ain't the big, bad Batman
120
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,242
come to break up Boxy
Bennett's little social club.
121
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,704
It's gonna cost you,
freak, big time.
122
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,832
Hi, Boxy. Long time no see.
123
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,293
Harley Quinn.
124
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,548
Last I heard, they tossed you in the
squirrel farm and swallowed the key.
125
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:08,625
What you doing with the Bat?
126
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,925
(GULPS)
127
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:14,637
Come on, you don't think
I was working with Batman?
128
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,683
I know you'd blow us both
away if you thought that.
129
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,518
You thought right, sugar.
130
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,856
Phew.
131
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,400
So, you ain't seen Mr. J.
Around, have you?
132
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,526
Nope.
133
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,921
You know, I never could figure what
a cute little number like yourself
134
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,614
saw in a slob like the Joker.
135
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,034
Especially when there are
suave guys like me around.
136
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:37,994
Now, Boxy.
137
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,164
Sure, my pudding's a
little temperamental.
138
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,753
But, gee, what relationship
doesn't have its ups and downs?
139
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,715
(ALL GASP m CONFUSION)
140
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,426
Ha!
141
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,262
A flat.
142
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,473
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
143
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:05,188
(SINGING) I never knew
That our romance had ended.
144
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,150
Until you poisoned my food.
145
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,612
And I thought it was a lark.
146
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,782
When you kicked me in the park.
147
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,161
But now I think it was rude.
148
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:26,501
I never knew that you
and I were finished.
149
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:30,213
Until that bottle hit my head.
150
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,425
Though I tried to be aloof.
151
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,970
When you pushed me off the roof.
152
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,349
I feel our romance is dead.
153
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:47,814
It wouldn't have been so
bad If you had told me.
154
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,152
That someone had taken my place.
155
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:58,408
But no No,
you didn't even scold me.
156
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:03,580
You just tried to
disfigure my face.
157
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:10,253
You'll never know How this
heart of mine is breaking.
158
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,007
It looks so hopeless, but then.
159
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,261
Life used to be so placid.
160
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,389
Won't you please
put down that acid?
161
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:27,562
And say that we're
sweethearts again
162
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,858
(ALL CHEERING)
163
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,819
MAN 1; Yeah.
MAN 2; All right, baby!
164
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,619
Whoo! All right, B and R!
165
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,794
ROBIN: Hey, UQW-
166
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:55,465
They're all working together.
167
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,014
(ROBIN GRUNTS)
168
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,063
(GROWLS)
169
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,814
Let's go, Quinn!
170
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,316
Quinn!
171
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,692
HARLEY: Whee!
172
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,486
Bombs away!
173
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,655
- Huh?
- (ALL YELP)
174
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,532
Yes!
175
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,159
(SHRIEKS)
176
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,331
Did you see the way I
handled those creeps?
177
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,707
Pow! Barn!
178
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,085
Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.
179
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,505
What was she before
she went bonkers?
180
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,382
A clinical psychiatrist.
181
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,593
Figures.
182
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,518
- Any word on the Joker?
- Nothing.
183
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,980
I even checked with Gordon again,
and the mayor still refuses
184
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,773
to let the cops
evacuate the city.
185
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,942
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
186
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,070
Oh, it's brilliant.
187
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,407
Way t0 go, Mr. J_!
188
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,866
What are you saying?
189
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,202
Oh, come on, Bats.
190
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,872
You've seen how my pudding
keeps an eye on Gotham.
191
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,083
What better way
to tie up the cops
192
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,085
than to tie up the mayor?
193
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,925
Whoo-hoo!
194
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,976
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
195
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,902
See, do I know how Mr. J.
Thinks, or what? Ha!
196
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,657
And here you thought I was just
another bubble-headed blond bimbo.
197
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,036
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not even a real blond.
198
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,123
Good job.
199
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,959
Huh? Hey!
200
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,841
- What gives?
- I can't risk you warning the Joker.
201
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,011
Would I do a thing like that?
202
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,847
Hey, let me out! Come on!
203
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,227
Boy, you just can't
trust some people.
204
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:25,698
Nothing like a moonlight dip,
eh, Mr. Mayor? (LAUGHING)
205
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,077
Please, just make your ransom
demands and get on with it.
206
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,790
Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.
207
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,001
- You can't mean- -
Oh, yes, indeedy-do.
208
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:41,798
Instead of taking you,
the cops and the Batman down separately,
209
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,217
I'm going to blast
you all at once.
210
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,929
Send down the plane, boys.
211
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,972
We're blowing town.
212
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,307
Literally.
213
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,975
Yes, sir.
214
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,728
But all those innocent people.
215
00:14:56,020 --> 00:15:01,484
Some joke on them, eh?
Think of it as the ultimate punch line.
216
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,903
(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
217
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,370
(GROANS)
218
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,801
Ha!
219
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,554
(YELP$)
220
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,389
(GROANS)
221
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,315
(GRUNTING)
222
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,278
What? Hey!
223
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,286
Gee, it's amazing what you find
in people's glove compartments.
224
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,496
Harley?
225
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,332
Hi, pudding. Miss me?
226
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,045
You clever little minx.
227
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,298
How did you escape from Arkham?
228
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,092
Batman sprung me so
I could find you.
229
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:11,846
Had me all locked up in
his bad old car, too.
230
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,473
Aww.
231
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,309
Quinn, we had a deal!
232
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:20,855
Deal's off, B-man. No one ever
said anything about hurting Mr. J.
233
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,566
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
234
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,038
Oh!
235
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:43,419
AUTOMATED VOICE: 10-minute
countdown sequence has been engaged.
236
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,754
Oh, my Lord.
237
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,589
Come, my dear.
238
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:50,760
We'll get to a safe altitude,
then watch the fireworks.
239
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,762
It's lucky you were
here, Harley.
240
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,640
The countdown sequence didn't
leave Joker enough time
241
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,683
to swing by Arkham
and pick you up.
242
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,477
Quiet, brat.
243
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,438
You were gonna come back for
me, weren't you, pudding?
244
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,941
Of course, pumpkin pie.
245
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,860
It's just that...
Well, here you are,
246
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,530
so I can save myself a trip.
247
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,448
But what about all our friends?
248
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:17,537
Ivy and Two-Face and hat guy and
lizard man and puppet head and-
249
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,121
What about them?
250
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,957
Don't forget your little pets.
251
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,461
(GASPS) The babies!
We can't leave the babies!
252
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,797
I'll buy you a goldfish!
253
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,174
'Let's go! “No!
254
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,717
Why, you little-
255
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,847
(GROANS)
256
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,869
You know, Bats,
I got a crazy idea.
257
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:02,123
Mr. J. May not be the
guy for me after all.
258
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,666
(HARLEY SHRIEKS)
259
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,805
(GASPS)
260
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,367
Ha!
261
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,167
- Go around again!
- But, boss...
262
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,797
- I said do it!
- Yes, sir.
263
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,390
(TIMER BEEPING)
264
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,392
(BEEPING STOPS)
265
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,476
- Made it with time to spare.
- (PLANE APPROACHING)
266
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,989
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
267
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,094
That bomb's going off
even if I go with it!
268
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,429
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
269
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,564
Laugh this off, pudding!
270
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,377
BOTH: Whoa!
271
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,130
(SCREAMS)
272
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,322
(couemue)
273
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,960
- Freeze, clown.
- Quinn, stop!
274
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,087
He's mine, Bats.
275
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,552
You wouldn't dare.
276
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,181
You don't have the guts.
277
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,477
Not in a million
years would you-
278
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,812
(BOTH GASP)
279
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,485
(BOTH SIGH IN RELIEF)
280
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,413
(LAUGHS)
281
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,374
Baby, you're the greatest.
282
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,354
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)