1 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,233 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,374 JUDGE: The prisoner will stand. 3 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,753 Pamela Lillian lsley, 4 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,131 District Attorney Van Dorn has asked 5 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,426 that the maximum sentence of life imprisonment be imposed upon you. 6 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,929 However, as your apprehension came at the hands of the Batman, 7 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,015 and not a recognized agent of the law, 8 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:42,352 this court has no choice but to return you to Arkham Asylum, 9 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,897 where it is hoped you will complete your rehabilitation. 10 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,451 Hi, Red. Hi. Welcome home. 11 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,829 Hi, Harley. 12 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,626 (KEYS JANGLING) 13 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:22,184 Aw, things didn't go too good, huh? 14 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,519 - Nope. - Well, cheer up. 15 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,147 Word is we're gonna throw a little party. 16 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,816 And old Jervis here has the invitations. 17 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,576 Not only does Batman create these so-called super-criminals, 18 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,746 he takes it upon himself to be their judge and jury 19 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,956 with no regard for the legal system. 20 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,834 FEMALE REPORTER: It sounds like you want to put Batman on trial. 21 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,087 Believe me, I'd like nothing better. 22 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,383 - Strong words. - It's got to stop, Jim. 23 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,385 As Gotham's new district attorney, 24 00:02:56,468 --> 00:03:00,097 I can't allow your pet nut to run loose in my city. 25 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,431 I mean it. 26 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,102 Janet, it's a war zone out there, and Batman is our best weapon. 27 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:10,482 And I say he's a drug the city keeps taking to avoid facing reality. 28 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,566 (BLINDS RATTLING) 29 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,112 Speak of the devil. 30 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,824 The East Side Skulls are ready to declare war on the other gangs. 31 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,826 Old news. My department's already 32 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,911 planning a sting to catch the Skulls' leader. 33 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,246 Don't bother. 34 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,624 Very cute, mister. 35 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,318 You want to support law and order? 36 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,586 You take off that mask and put on a uniform. 37 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,385 You hear me, Batman? This is the last time! 38 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,766 The next time I see him, it will be a whole different story. 39 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,484 Hello, Bruce. 40 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,863 Janet, I'm so glad we're able to meet on such short notice. 41 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,200 It seems every place I look there's our crusading DA 42 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,619 leading the campaign to rid our city of Batman. 43 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:08,874 Oh, please. He's the last person I want to talk about tonight. 44 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:10,792 Oh, sorry. 45 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,212 Still, even you have to admit Batman's come through now and then. 46 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,590 But look at the lunatic fringe he's created. 47 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,301 The Joker, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and the rest. 48 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,344 Batman's responsible for every one of them. 49 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,097 Excuse me, Ms. Van Dorn, but your office just called. 50 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,016 They said it's an emergency. 51 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,226 I'm sorry, Bruce. I won't be a minute. 52 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,064 Take your time. 53 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,278 (BRUCE WHISTLING) 54 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,410 Uh, excuse me, have you seen Ms. Van Dorn? 55 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,996 - Not in the last half-hour, sir. - MAN: Look. 56 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,873 Must be trouble. 57 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,082 (PEOPLE MURMURING) 58 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,228 MAN 1: Look at that. MAN 2: I've never seen that before. 59 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,712 (PEOPLE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 60 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,802 It's Van Dorn's. 61 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,513 It was dropped on the front desk 20 minutes ago. 62 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,306 Along with this. 63 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,937 BATMAN: "Batman, come alone to where lives hang in the balance" 64 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,980 "or the law in Gotham dies." 65 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,410 You there! Come into the light. 66 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,205 I said... 67 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,033 - (GRUNTS) - (OBJECT CRASH ES) 68 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,419 (GROANING) 69 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:40,882 (GRUNTS m PAIN) 70 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,066 Oh, no, you don't. 71 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,820 Ta-da! 72 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,948 (HARLEY SCREAMS) 73 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,501 Let me out. Do you hear me? 74 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,837 Whoever you are, let me out this second. 75 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,132 (DOOR UNLOCKS) 76 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,511 Welcome to Arkham, Van Dorn. 77 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,179 Two-Face. 78 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,641 Don't bother screaming for help. 79 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,019 The white coats can't hear you. 80 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,395 (GASPS) 81 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,636 TWO-FACE: Matter of fact, they can't do much of anything, 82 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,692 thanks to the Mad Hatter. 83 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,447 You're going to escape? 84 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,115 Eventually. 85 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,702 We've got some legal business to settle first. 86 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:54,915 - What do you mean? - I'm talking about a trial. 87 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,292 Me, the prosecutor. 88 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,336 You, the defense. 89 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,338 And your client... 90 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,259 ls Batman. 91 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,761 (BATMAN GRUNTING) 92 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,145 This is insane. Me defending you? 93 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,731 As far as I'm concerned, you belong in here with them. 94 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,442 (GROANS) Whatever. 95 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,112 You've gotta go through with it. It's their game and their rules. 96 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,823 Let's go. Move it. 97 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,450 Indeed. 98 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,744 Can't keep the judge waiting. 99 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,456 TWO-FACE: You've said it yourself, lady. 100 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,084 Batman made every one of us. 101 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:43,797 So, we're placing him before the bar to face ourjustice. 102 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,131 And me? 103 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,384 Basic 50/50 option. 104 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,637 You get him off. You both go free. 105 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,806 He goes down, 106 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,183 you take the fall with him. 107 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,227 MAD HATTER: Amusing idea, what? 108 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,021 Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney? 109 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,692 Personally, I suggested a quick slug between the eyes. 110 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,318 But I lost the coin toss. 111 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,946 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 112 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:34,139 I borrowed your belt, Bats, but it doesn't do a thing for me. 113 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:36,891 KILLER CROC: Sit down. 114 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,110 OYQZ. Dye;. 115 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:53,074 He says, "0yez," dirt bags! Dummy up. 116 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,534 Sheesh! 117 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,286 I gotta do everything for you. 118 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,663 Court is now in session. 119 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,207 The good people of Arkham Asylum 120 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:05,587 versus the self-righteous vigilante called Batman. 121 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,048 Our prosecutor is ready. 122 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:12,635 Likewise, our fair and impartial jury. 123 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,429 - Hang him. - Shoot him. 124 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,056 Hit him with a rock. 125 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:22,062 And now all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful. 126 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,189 Judge Joker. 127 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,232 (ALL CHEERING) 128 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,904 Guilty! 129 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,991 I was promised a chance to defend my client. 130 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,910 Oh, very well. 131 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,995 Like it'll make a difference. 132 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:42,916 Mr. Prosecutor, make your opening statement. 133 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:49,964 Look at us. 134 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,801 We're all freaks and monsters. 135 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,969 And who made us this way? 136 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,055 Batman. 137 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,141 (ALL SHOUTING) 138 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,364 Go on, lady. Defend him if you can. 139 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,074 Call the first witness. 140 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,701 Yo, Hat. On the stand. 141 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,419 Proceed, counselor. 142 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,051 I suppose you, like your friends, 143 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,637 claim that Batman drove you to be a criminal? 144 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,930 He did. 145 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,975 And yet, as I recall your case, 146 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:45,687 you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you. 147 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,313 Batman forced me to do it. 148 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,567 He was going to take her away from me. I had no choice. 149 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,112 You could have respected her wishes and left her alone. 150 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,738 I'd have killed her first! 151 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,740 Ooh. 152 00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,389 I'd like that last statement stricken from the record, please. 153 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:04,164 Record? Ls someone supposed to be writing this down? 154 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,126 (SIGHS) This is crazy. 155 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,212 That's beside the point. Just keep it going. 156 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:20,763 Looks like Batman's hunch was wrong. There's no sign of him or Ms. Van Dorn. 157 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,599 But he was here, all right. 158 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,351 I object to this witness. 159 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,854 She's obviously trying to influence the judge. 160 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:34,068 - What makes you say that? - Never mind. 161 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,612 Do you have a statement? 162 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,324 I just wanna say, if there was no Batman, 163 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,992 there'd be no Joker. 164 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:44,078 And I'd never have met my pudding. 165 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,998 Thank you, Batman. 166 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,293 Sad, isn't it? 167 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,129 Harleen Quinzel was a doctor here at Arkham 168 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,256 until the Joker twisted her mind. 169 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,343 Ha! You're just jealous because you don't have a fella 170 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:02,889 who's as loving and loyal to you as my pudding is to me. 171 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,142 (SIGHS) 172 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,393 Uh-huh. 173 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,480 And I suppose it was that same loyalty I saw 174 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,233 the last time you escaped, and pudding here... 175 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,861 Finked on you in hopes of getting time off. 176 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,366 Is that true, pudding? 177 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,828 "Finked" is such an ugly word. 178 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,374 You lousy scum-sucking creep! 179 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,252 The witness is excused. 180 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,128 (ALL LAUGHING) 181 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,546 Slimy rat! 182 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,510 (HARLEY YELLING) 183 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,387 KILLER CROC: Knock it off, lady. 184 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,264 (PROTESTING INCOHERENTLY) 185 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,308 I'll kick that grin off your silly face. 186 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,144 (PANTING) 187 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,524 And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime. 188 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,568 He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. 189 00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,947 We'd all have been better off, wouldn't we, Harv? 190 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,449 Why, you rotten little... 191 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,826 JANET: But, Ms. lsley, 192 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,412 isn't the real motivation for your crimes 193 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,955 your obsession with plants? 194 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,832 That you prefer them to people? 195 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,919 I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose. 196 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,588 Then it doesn't bother you when someone, 197 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:21,009 let's say the judge here, ruthlessly plucks 198 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:26,097 a defenseless flower from the warm green earth? 199 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,223 No. 200 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,101 Even knowing he's given it his death sentence? 201 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,395 That its petals must die? 202 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,939 - Stop it. - JANET: One by one. 203 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,524 Withering, falling. 204 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:41,070 One by one, until it's all gone. Honey. 205 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,405 (IVY YELLS) 206 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,745 Ms. Ivy, please. 207 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,916 You're beautiful when you're angry. 208 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,755 (LAUGHS EVILLY) 209 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,549 (PEOPLE MURMURING) 210 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,809 I used to believe Batman was responsible for you people. 211 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,605 But now I see nearly everyone here would've ended up exactly the same, 212 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,898 Batman or not. 213 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,792 Oh, the gimmicks might be different. 214 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:23,112 But you'd all be out there in some form or another, bringing misery to Gotham. 215 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:26,366 The truth is you created him. 216 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,259 - GORDON: It's working. - (DEVICE BEEPING) 217 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,206 Looks like a tracking device. 218 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,750 It's pointing north. 219 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,502 The Somerset District. 220 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,420 Nothing much out there except... 221 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,506 Arkham. 222 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,891 Jury, you've heard the evidence. 223 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,268 Consider your verdict. 224 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,729 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 225 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:08,366 Your Honor, in light of Ms. Van Dorn's stirring defense, 226 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,953 we have no choice but to find the defendant... 227 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:14,997 Not guilty. 228 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,625 (CROWD SHOUTING) 229 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,753 Amazing. 230 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,968 Well done, counselor. 231 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,346 You've proven that Batman didn't create us. 232 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,975 That we, in fact, messed up our own rotten lives. 233 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:38,563 And as we are so rotten, vile and depraved, 234 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,983 we're going to waste you anyway. 235 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,234 (GASPS) 236 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,281 (CHEERING) 237 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,015 (IMITATING PORKY PIG STAMMERING) 238 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,291 That's all, folks. 239 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,126 Let's mambo. 240 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,618 Help us! Please! 241 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,637 (GRUNTING) 242 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,231 Let me go. 243 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,027 Anything you say, Jannie-poo. 244 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,166 (IN IRISH ACCENT) And now for the final confession. 245 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:26,379 The big secret you've kept from us for so many years. 246 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,882 Brothers and sisters, at long last, I give you 247 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,510 the man behind the bat. 248 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,607 What? 249 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,170 MAN: What's going on? TWO-FACE: He's gone. 250 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,368 Everyone, spread out. Don't let him get away. 251 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,745 BATMAN: Who says I'm leaving? 252 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,499 (MUFFLED GASP) 253 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,084 What's going on? 254 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,586 Get the light. 255 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,926 Nobody panic. 256 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,596 (MUFFLED PROTESTS) 257 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,267 Okay, start panicking. 258 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,356 (GROWLS) The only way out is through me. 259 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,824 Hold on. You'll hit Croc. 260 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,367 What's your point? 261 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,495 (GROWLING) 262 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,580 (PUNCH THUDS) 263 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,009 (MUFFLED GRUNT) 264 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,138 KILLER CROC: Watch where you're shooting, clown. 265 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,355 (SCREAMING) 266 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:13,569 (GASPS) 267 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,159 (GROANS) 268 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,480 I'm hit, boys! 269 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,150 (GRUNTING AT EACH STEP) 270 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,658 (GRUNTING) 271 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,719 (SCREAMING) 272 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,849 GORDON: Hold it. 273 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,768 Nobody move. 274 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,019 (GUNS COCKING) 275 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,068 Yoo-hoo! Look alive, Batman. 276 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,947 Here comes the judge. 277 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,115 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 278 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:51,167 Old Hanging Judge Joker, that's me. 279 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:57,006 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 280 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,454 I see now there's a need for the things you do. 281 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,459 But I'm still going to work toward a city that doesn't need Batman. 282 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,044 Me too. 283 00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:50,601 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 284 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,085 English - SDH