1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,421
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,423
(PANTING)

3
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,180
- (CAR HON KS)
- (YELPS)

4
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,017
(CRIES OUT)

5
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,696
Oh, no.

6
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:12,132
Let me in, please.
I have to see Mr. Thorne.

7
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,180
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

8
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,976
A Sidney Debris to see you, sir.

9
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:26,855
Send him in.

10
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,905
Mr. Thorne, I'm so grateful you're
willing to see me on such short-

11
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,032
Nonsense, Sidney. Come in.

12
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,910
Join me for a demitasse?

13
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,995
No, thank you, sir.

14
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,831
Oh.

15
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,041
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

16
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,752
- Sorry about the leather.
- Mmm.

17
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:52,005
I hear you've made quite a name for
yourself on the streets, Sidney.

18
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,258
What is it they're calling you?
Oh, yes.

19
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,511
"The Man Who Killed Batman."

20
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,806
Well, yes, no...
That is, I didn't...

21
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:04,017
Oh, Mr. Thorne,
I'm in big trouble.

22
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,478
Now, now, just relax, man.

23
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,772
And tell me what's on your mind.

24
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:13,485
SIDNEY: Well, for a while now, I've been
trying to move my way up in the rackets.

25
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:17,656
A few nights ago, my pal Eddie G.
Told me about a big drug shipment

26
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,908
<i>he was picking up
for some mob hotshot.</i>

27
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,911
<i>Sounded like an opportunity
and I wanted in.</i>

28
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,798
Whoa!

29
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,267
Hey, hey.

30
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,062
- You want to blow this whole deal?
- Sorry, Eddie.

31
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,649
Why did you bring along that loser?
He's useless.

32
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,693
Not as bait for Batman.

33
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,196
He'll be too busy kicking the
crud out of Sid to notice us.

34
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,783
Yo, Sid.
This is your big chance, bud.

35
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,954
You do this job right, you might
even score yourself a cool mob name.

36
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,581
Like what?

37
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,083
Uh... We'll call you.

38
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,169
Sid the Squid.

39
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,588
Sid the Squid.

40
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,673
Yeah, yeah.

41
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,843
Now, get your keister up there
and holler if you see anything.

42
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,979
SIDNEY: Like a
hungry sea predator,

43
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,940
Sid the Squid
stretched his tentacles

44
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,610
through the Gotham underworld.

45
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,821
Yeah, boy, I'm on my way.

46
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,656
Nothing's gonna stop me now.

47
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,628
That's weird,
wonder where that...

48
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:57,881
(YELLS)

49
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,515
SIDNEY: Help!

50
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,688
EDDIE: The Batman.

51
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,983
Hey,
this isn't what it looks like.

52
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:23,073
Looks like a drug run to me. Someone's
flooding the streets with that trash.

53
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,408
- I want his name.
- I don't know.

54
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,869
I'm just the lookout, honest.

55
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:29,955
(YELP$)

56
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,873
THUG: Sid's taking
on the Batman.

57
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:35,210
Little weasel's got guts.
No brains, but guts.

58
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,586
Split.

59
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,339
(YELLS) "(GRUNTS)"

60
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,553
Oh, I'm so sorry.
It was an accident, really.

61
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,471
- You okay?
- Back off.

62
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,764
Yes, sir.

63
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,684
"(YELPS) (GAsPs)"

64
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,271
(WHIMPERS)

65
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,982
Don't let me fall, please!

66
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:00,777
(YELLS)

67
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,789
Stop struggling. Let go!

68
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:16,960
(GASPS)

69
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,804
- What?
- What was that?

70
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,858
I didn't mean it. He came right at me.
I was just trying to get away,

71
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,903
and he went over the side.
Boom, whoosh, fire!

72
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,487
I'm sorry.

73
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,532
No one could live through that.

74
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:53,163
You know what this means?
Sid the Squid just offed the Batman.

75
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,546
You should be happy, Sidney.

76
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,843
Through a
one-in-a-million mishap,

77
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,388
you've realized the dream
of every criminal in Gotham.

78
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,682
Huh?

79
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,602
The utter demise of Batman.

80
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,022
You know, Mr. Thorne,
my whole life

81
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,900
I've dreamed of
being a big shot.

82
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:26,112
ALL: (CHANTING)
Sidney, Sidney, Sidney.

83
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:34,704
<i>SIDNEY: And that night, for one
minute, all my dreams came true.</i>

84
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:41,002
To Sid the Squid,
the man who burned the bat.

85
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,840
ALL: Squid! Squid! Squid!

86
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,051
EDDIE: The toughest
guy in Gotham!

87
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,596
(YELLS)

88
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,185
(GASPS)

89
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:02,065
Suddenly I'm thinking, if I take
down the guy who took down Batman,

90
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,027
then I'll be the
toughest guy in town.

91
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,530
You got my vote, Chief.

92
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,117
Come on, Squid,
give him what for.

93
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,178
- THUG: Come on, let's get it going here.
- (ALL CLAMORING)

94
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,620
Get up. Come on.

95
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,051
(SHATTERS)

96
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,520
<i>SIDNEY: It was nuts, I tell you.</i>

97
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:45,150
<i>Every creep and lowlife trying to get a
little piece of the guy who got Batman.</i>

98
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,822
<i>I was actually relieved
when the cops showed up.</i>

99
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,741
(SIREN WAILING)

100
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,371
<i>Well, sort of.</i>

101
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,582
- You can't keep me here.
- I got rights.

102
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,167
- Lousy bulls.
- (ALL CLAMORING)

103
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:06,046
Simmer down, party boys.
You'll be out tomorrow morning.

104
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:11,009
Uh, Montoya, word is coming in from
the streets on a homicide victim.

105
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,720
- They have an ID?
- Yeah, it's, uh...

106
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,930
It's Batman.

107
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,307
(GULPS)

108
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,142
What? How?

109
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,519
That explosion at
the customs house.

110
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,607
They said it's the work of some
mastermind called the Squid.

111
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,610
(LAUGHS)

112
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:30,904
(GROANS)

113
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,572
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

114
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,409
Look, Renee,
the commish is taking it pretty hard.

115
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,204
- Could you, uh...
- Sure, sure.

116
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,212
How about it, losers?
You see anything tonight?

117
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,464
What's the word on this Squid
guy, huh?

118
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,049
Oh...

119
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,885
What about you, skinny?
You got anything to say?

120
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,261
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)

121
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,223
Just one minute, please.

122
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:02,227
I'm Harleen Quinzel,
legal counsel to Mr. Debris.

123
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,313
I've paid his bail, and he doesn't
have to answer any questions

124
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,315
until he's formally arraigned.

125
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,749
Don't I know you from someplace?

126
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,460
I think I served
you a subpoena once.

127
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,506
It was a small subpoena.

128
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,405
Gee! Who would care enough
to bail me out of the jug?

129
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,490
My mom doesn't even speak to me.

130
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,076
And my parole officer's
still in jail.

131
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,704
<i>(census)</i>

132
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,874
Wow, lady,
you sure pile on the makeup.

133
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:09,294
My boss likes me to
wear a smile to work.

134
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:13,381
Hey, I've seen you.
You work for...

135
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,800
(GASPS) The Joker.

136
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,015
Welcome, Sidney.

137
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,404
Please, allow me the
honor of shaking hands

138
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,365
with the man who
did the impossible.

139
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:44,579
The man who killed Batman.

140
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:47,999
(GASPS)

141
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:52,253
Whoops!
(LAUGHS) Sorry, force of habit.

142
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:56,674
You know, there's just one thing
bothering me about your story, Sid.

143
00:11:56,799 --> 00:12:00,803
No body, no batus
delecti, so to speak.

144
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015
We need to pull a job
tonight just to make sure.

145
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,309
Make sure of what, boss?

146
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,689
Why, that old Batsy's bought the
cave, of course.

147
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:15,902
And one more thing, Murphy.
Don't ask stupid questions.

148
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,779
What?

149
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,656
- Ah! Ooh!
- (DOGS YELPING)

150
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,248
(YAWNS) I'll get the mop.

151
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,802
(ALARM RINGING)

152
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,553
(couemue)

153
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,977
(LAUGHS MAN IACALLY)

154
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:54,774
Righty-o! Harley, you loot the
safe while the boys and I set up.

155
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,235
Right away, Mr. J.

156
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,490
When the cops show, stall them for a while.
Nothing too fancy.

157
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,994
Just keep them busy until
Bats gets here. Got it?

158
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,620
Sure, boss.

159
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,710
- Any questions, Murph?
- No, sir.

160
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,253
Good man.

161
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:21,259
And if Batman hasn't really
gone to his final reward,

162
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,386
we'll see that he gets there.

163
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,470
(LAUGHS)

164
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:37,191
Mmm. From pinching pennies to
rubbing elbows with the Joker.

165
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,694
- Not bad, Sidney.
- Please.

166
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,280
Connections like him
I can do without.

167
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,284
<i>Naturally, it didn't take the cops
long to seal off the building.</i>

168
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,828
<i>Not that it mattered
to Mr. Happy.</i>

169
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:54,250
(GROWLS) Where is he?
He's never been this late before.

170
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,628
There's a certain
rhythm to these things.

171
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,881
I cause trouble, he shows up.

172
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,884
We have some laughs,
and the game starts all over again.

173
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,138
Only, now, thanks to you,

174
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:11,059
I have this terrible feeling
he's really not coming.

175
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,189
Whee! Look at all the pretties.

176
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,274
Put them back, Harley.

177
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,445
Oh, Mr. J., you're such a kidder.
You never could...

178
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,490
I said, put them back!

179
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,741
(SCREAMS)

180
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:33,456
Sure, boss, I can do that.
This is me putting them back. No problemo.

181
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,707
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

182
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,253
Without Batman,
crime has no punch line.

183
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,467
<i>SIDNEY: A laughing gas
bomb kept the cops busy</i>

184
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,177
<i>while we slipped out the back.</i>

185
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:51,849
<i>Later, the Joker held a little
memorial at the Ace Chemical plant.</i>

186
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,352
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)

187
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,773
You know what's great about
you, Puddin'?

188
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,026
You really put the
"fun" in funeral.

189
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:14,872
Dear friends,
today is the day the clown cried.

190
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,457
(SOBBING)

191
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,297
And he cries not for
the passing of one man,

192
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,925
but for the death of a dream.

193
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:30,221
The dream that he would someday
taste the ultimate victory

194
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,348
over his hated enemy.

195
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:38,438
For it was the Batman who made
me the happy soul I am today.

196
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:43,359
How I agonized over the perfect
way to thank him for that.

197
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:47,488
Perhaps with a cyanide
pie in the face.

198
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,783
(WAILS)

199
00:15:55,413 --> 00:16:00,376
Or an exploding whoopee cushion,
playfully planted in the Batmobile.

200
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:09,635
But those dreams were dashed
by the weaselly little gunsel

201
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,554
sitting there in our midst.

202
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:17,435
The cowardly,
insignificant ganef who probably got lucky

203
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:21,981
when Batman slipped on the slime
trail this loser left behind him.

204
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,943
This mound of
diseased hyena filth

205
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:29,989
who's not fit to lick
the dirt from my spats!

206
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,745
But I digress.
The time for sorrow has passed.

207
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:40,833
It's time to look ahead to
a future filled with smiles.

208
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,628
And I'll be smiling again

209
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,340
just as soon as we
take that man there,

210
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:50,301
and slap him in that box there,

211
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,096
and roll it into that
vat of acid there.

212
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,101
No, no! I never meant to do it!

213
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,312
(WHIMPERING)

214
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,064
Help!

215
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,568
(MUFFLED) This
isn't funny anymore

216
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,244
(PLAYING "AMAZING
GRACE" ON KAZOO)

217
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,547
- (POUNDING)
- Would it help if I said I'm sorry?

218
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:31,384
I'm really, really, really,
really, really sorry.

219
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,594
("AMAZING GRACE" CONTINUES)

220
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,450
(SIGHS)

221
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,788
Well, that was fun.
Who's for Chinese?

222
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,255
<i>(census)</i>

223
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,885
<i>SIDNEY: I thought I
was a goner for sure.</i>

224
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,809
<i>Then, just as the acid
started to eat its way in...</i>

225
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,480
- (THUDS)
- (WHIMPERS)

226
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,232
Huh?

227
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,611
<i>I was saved. The box must have
been sucked down a drain pipe</i>

228
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,613
<i>and smacked open on the bank.</i>

229
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,656
<i>I knew I had to get out of town.</i>

230
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,494
So I called Eddie G.
And begged him to set me up

231
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,997
with the big man
behind the drug ring.

232
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,582
He sent me to you.

233
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:48,794
Please, Mr. Thorne.
You're rich and powerful.

234
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,922
I'll do anything you say if
you can get me out of Gotham.

235
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:57,386
So the famous Sid the Squid is nothing
but a pathetic victim of circumstance.

236
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,640
Just how stupid
do you think I am?

237
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,350
Excuse me?

238
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,143
You think I didn't
hear the rumors

239
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,938
of the third-rate stumblebum
who rubbed out the Batman?

240
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:12,318
And now you say you accidentally
made a fool of the Joker?

241
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,364
No one's that lucky or stupid.

242
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,325
- Yes, I am. Honest.
- Admit it.

243
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,828
You're trying to muscle
in on my drug racket.

244
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:26,082
You've been playing dumb so
you can get a shot at me.

245
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,833
No, really.

246
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,878
Sure, I'll get you out of
Gotham, Sidney.

247
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,338
In a pine box.

248
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,549
(GUNSHOTS)

249
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,056
(DISTANT GRUNTS)

250
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,645
(YELLS)

251
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,694
_Y°u? “(GASPS)

252
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,134
That's for pulling a gun.

253
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,762
(SCREAMS)

254
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,890
And that's for the drugs.

255
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:35,943
(GRUNTS)

256
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,280
(OBJECTS SHATTERING)

257
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,036
And that one's for any I missed.

258
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,622
Oh, am I glad to see you.

259
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,292
Wait a minute,
how come you're alive?

260
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,003
I swung away before
the gas tank exploded.

261
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,505
But I thought since you
believed I was dead,

262
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,091
I'd tail you and see who
was calling the shots.

263
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,428
So you were the one who
saved me from the Joker?

264
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,138
That's right.

265
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,099
Well, glad to be of service.
See you.

266
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,061
You're still an accomplice
to Thorne's gang.

267
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,733
Guess I can't win for
losing, huh?

268
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:20,988
I don't know. In the right environment,
a man of your dangerous reputation

269
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,032
could still get
a lot of respect.

270
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,079
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

271
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,416
- PRISONER 1: Here he comes.
- PRISONER 2: It's the Squid.

272
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,544
PRISONER 3: Toughest man in
Gotham, nearly offed the Bat.

273
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,340
PRISONER 4: Set Thorne up.
He made a fool out of the Joker, too.

274
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:43,552
- PRISONER 5: Don't mess with him, man.
- A big shot at last.

275
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:47,306
(ALL CLAMORING)

276
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,423
English - SDH