1
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,886
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,085
(TIRES SCREECHING)
3
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,923
(CARS HONKING)
4
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,883
(YELLING) You jerks!
5
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,665
- (WOMAN SCREAMING)
- (DOG YELPING)
6
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,141
(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
7
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:49,526
Ah! The wind in my hair
and the Batman at my heels.
8
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,322
It's the kind of night that
makes you glad to be alive.
9
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,532
Right, Harley girl?
10
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,410
Sure thing, Mr. J.
11
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,503
Quick! Turn here!
12
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,799
- But, boss, that's-
- I said, turn!
13
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,384
Yes, sir.
14
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,594
(TIRES SCREECHING)
15
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,931
(EXCLAIMS)
16
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:28,982
(GROANS)
17
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,528
Why didn't you tell me
someone put a hill there?
18
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,907
- I tried, but- - Never mind.
Just hand me the gun.
19
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,495
(SNAPS FINGERS) Come on!
Come on!
20
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:44,915
Here.
21
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,292
Hey, Batsy!
22
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,795
This is where I leave you flat.
23
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,213
(LAUGHS MAN IACALLY)
24
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,844
You nincompoop!
25
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,429
(YELP$)
26
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,306
You didn't say which gun.
27
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,699
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
28
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,540
(TIRES SCREECHING)
29
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,126
Let's go. Let's go!
30
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,627
(ENGINE REVVING)
31
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,842
If he wants the car that
bad, he can have it.
32
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,855
Next time, clown.
33
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,780
JOKER: No,
we didn't get the diamond.
34
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,784
The "Dork Knight" showed up
before we even got to the museum.
35
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,203
I had a great shot at him, too,
36
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:10,834
except my dear little Harley
Quinn handed me the wrong gun!
37
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,128
(BARKING)
38
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,922
But, pudding, it was kind of
funny watching you shoot at him
39
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,674
with the "bang" flag.
40
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,843
(BOTH (assume)
41
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,681
Funny?
42
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:29,269
You presume to tell me what
I should think is funny?
43
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,938
(YELLING) In fact,
when have you ever
44
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,524
contributed a worthwhile
idea to this gang?
45
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,944
(STAMMERING) Well,
I did get us away from Batman.
46
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,030
Huzzah!
47
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,365
The kid gets lucky,
and she wants a medal!
48
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,828
Maybe I should just
let you run the gang.
49
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,081
Maybe you're a better crook than
the rest of us put together.
50
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,833
Maybe.
51
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:53,668
(TIMIDLY) not.
52
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,420
(BOTH SMIRKING)
53
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,172
(HYENAS LAUGHING)
54
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,888
(JOKER GROWLING)
55
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,640
(YELP$)
56
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,566
Fine! I'll show you!
You'll be sorry!
57
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,027
I'll pull a big heist,
and I'll be laughing at you.
58
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,446
Ha! Ha! You hear? Laughing!
59
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,706
I miss him already.
60
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,492
Piece of cake.
61
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,876
Mr. J will just plotz
when I give him...
62
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,255
No. I'm keeping it for myself.
63
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,757
Maybe.
64
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,059
(ALARM RINGING)
65
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,314
The heck with it!
66
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:51,995
(SIREN WAILING)
67
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,458
(GASPING)
68
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,088
Nice work, butterfingers.
69
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,091
Why didn't you just turn on the
Bat signal while you were at it?
70
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,677
I wasn't trying to get caught.
71
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,596
Could've fooled me.
72
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,308
Hey! Aren't you that plant
lady, Poison Oakie?
73
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,602
Ivy. Poison Ivy.
74
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,145
Sorry.
75
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,731
Harley Quinn.
Pleased to meet you.
76
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,232
(DOOR OPENS)
77
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,742
This is not a good
time to get acquainted.
78
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,369
MONTOYA: Freeze!
79
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,671
Any ideas?
80
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,675
What you got in the bottles?
81
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,594
POISON IVY: Plant toxins
from the museum lab.
82
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,639
Good enough.
83
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,520
Heads up!
84
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,901
(couemue)
85
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,114
MONTOYA: Stop in
the name of the law!
86
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,157
Not tonight, baby.
87
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:15,912
POISON IVY: Get in the car!
88
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,288
HARLEY: What car?
89
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,793
That car.
90
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,755
(SIREN WAILING)
91
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,511
_Yes! _Yes!
92
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,931
POISON IVY: This could be the
beginning of a beautiful friendship.
93
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,071
HARLEY: (WHINING) I hate shots!
94
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,073
I hate shots!
95
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,535
Now, now. You're not
immune to poison like I am
96
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,914
and you won't last 10 minutes here
in Toxic Acres without my antidote.
97
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,042
(WHINING)
98
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:10,008
(SIGHS) You'd think after living with
Mr. J, I'd be used to a little pain.
99
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,969
Why do you put up
with that clown?
100
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,639
Don't get me wrong.
My pudding's a little rough sometimes,
101
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,850
but he loves me, really.
102
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,352
Sure he does.
103
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,147
You're just one big forgiving
doormat, aren't you?
104
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,691
I am not a doormat.
105
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,443
Am I?
106
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,738
If you had a middle name,
it would be "Welcome."
107
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:38,244
But cheer up, kid. You just need some
lessons in good old female self-esteem.
108
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,999
In other words,
let's play with the boys on our terms.
109
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,049
And now, gentlemen,
if there is no new business,
110
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,675
I propose we adjourn to-
111
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,803
POISON IVY: A moment,
please, Mr. Chairman.
112
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,806
(MEN PROTESTING)
113
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,724
- MAN 1: Who is that?
- MAN 2: A woman, here?
114
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,892
CHAIRMAN: Outrageous!
115
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,978
See here, young lady,
is this some kind of joke?
116
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,022
The joke, my dear chairman,
117
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:10,360
is this obsolete,
sexist mockery you call a men's club.
118
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,570
Now, I ask you,
119
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,199
what kind of adventurers
refuse to admit women?
120
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,536
- MAN 1: What does she know?
- MAN 2: That is ridiculous.
121
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,871
MAN 3: Get her out of here.
How dare she?
122
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,707
(MEN PROTESTING)
123
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,671
Still, if it's excitement
you boys crave...
124
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,800
What is this?
125
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,885
Let go! “Stop!
126
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,054
(ALL CLAMORING)
127
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:44,769
That should keep you big strong
men busy while we weak little girls
128
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,855
loot your trophy room.
129
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,816
Gee, Red. You got style!
130
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,984
This is true.
131
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,322
(MEN CLAMORING)
132
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:39,741
(HARLEY HUMMING)
133
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,038
What did you make?
What did you make?
134
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,500
Steamed chard and beet juice.
Hmm! Yum!
135
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,503
Gee, green.
136
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,547
My favorite color.
137
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,102
(SIGHS)
138
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,898
No offense, Red,
but I'm not very hungry.
139
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,319
Somehow I don't feel
like my old perky self.
140
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,571
Something's missing.
141
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:24,035
Will you stop? I can't believe you're
still mooning over that psychotic creep.
142
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:28,039
Well, maybe I'd feel better
if I knew he missed me, too.
143
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,632
JOKER: (SHOUTING) Harley!
144
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,761
This place is going to
blinking blue blazes.
145
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,264
Anybody seen my socks?
146
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,557
JOKER: Harley!
147
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,243
- (HYENAS SNARLING)
- (JOKER EXCLAIMING)
148
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,603
They snapped at me!
149
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,313
What's going on, Roe'?
150
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:56,859
The place is a mess, no one's fed the
hyenas, and I can't find my socks!
151
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,403
Where's Harley?
152
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,281
(STAMMERING) You canned
her, boss, remember?
153
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:04,075
So? She's always
come back before.
154
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,952
Gee,
155
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,288
I guess you ain't
seen the papers then.
156
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:11,416
Papers?
What are you babbling about?
157
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,340
(JOKER SCREAMING)
158
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,802
(SIREN WAILING)
159
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,271
(CRASHING)
160
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,026
(CURSING m SPANISH)
161
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:44,365
I remember when I would go
driving like this with Mr. J.
162
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,118
(IMITATING HARLEY) "Mr.
J, Mr. J."
163
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,871
Change the record, Harl.
164
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,874
You want to be some wacko's
victim the rest of your life?
165
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,883
Well, hello.
166
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,510
I think I'm in love.
(MAKING KISSING SOUNDS)
167
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,637
Ahooga! Ahooga!
168
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,264
(HOWL$)
169
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,600
Excuse me, boys.
170
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:15,313
Didn't your mommies tell you that's not
the nice way to get a lady's attention?
171
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,609
Oh! And what are you gonna do?
Spank us?
172
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,279
That's right, pigs.
And here's the paddle.
173
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,490
(ALL SCREAM)
174
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,873
There may be hope for you yet.
175
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,895
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
176
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,983
ALFRED: Choosing a weekend
date, sir?
177
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,612
BATMAN: This is one sister act
that's hard to follow, Alfred.
178
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:08,366
Only clue I have is this soil
analysis from their tire tracks.
179
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,078
Hmm.
180
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:16,124
Contains the same compounds
you'd find in a toxic waste dump.
181
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,919
Then may I suggest an
accessory this evening?
182
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,178
(PHONE RINGING)
183
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,140
JOKER: (YELLING) What?
184
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,308
(TIMIDLY) Mr. J?
185
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,727
Harley?
186
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,648
Hi, pudding.
You still angry with me?
187
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,608
(CHUCKLES)
188
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,028
Honey, baby, pumpkin pie.
189
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,156
You know I can't hold a grudge.
190
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,658
- Where are you?
- With a friend.
191
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,786
Look, I can't talk,
but I wanted to let you know I'm okay.
192
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,079
(DOOR CLOSES)
193
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,707
Oops. Gotta go.
I'll talk to you soon.
194
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,627
Sooner than you think.
195
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,089
- What's up?
- Wrong number.
196
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,299
(GLASS BREAKING)
197
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,384
(GASPING)
198
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,011
BATMAN: Evening, ladies.
199
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,846
Playtime's over.
200
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,765
(SARCASTICALLY) Land 0'
Goshen, Harleen.
201
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,434
Look who's come a-courting.
202
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,644
Looks like he's got us.
203
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,021
Looks like!
204
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,941
(GRUNTING)
205
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,572
POISON IVY: Poor Batman.
All trussed up.
206
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,241
And no place to go.
207
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,912
_Yes! _Yes!
208
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,836
POISON IVY: Here we have
the typical male aggressor,
209
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,382
fittingly imprisoned within the
bonds of female domestic slavery.
210
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,516
HARLEY: And, frankly, folks,
he's never looked better.
211
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,267
Admit it, darling,
212
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:02,063
you didn't think two women were
capable of bringing you down.
213
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:06,275
Man or woman,
a sick mind is capable of anything.
214
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,779
A very enlightened
statement, Batman.
215
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,406
We'll carve it on
your headstone.
216
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,493
HARLEY: Aloha, sucker.
217
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,750
Hey,
did you leave the lights on?
218
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,511
JOKER: My, haven't you
been the busy little bees.
219
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,805
Pudding?
220
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,559
You were out,
so we just made ourselves at home.
221
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,227
Hope you don't mind.
222
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,479
You found me!
223
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,314
So much for self-esteem.
224
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,613
I hope you realize we're
on a toxic waste dump.
225
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:56,617
I'd say you've got 10 minutes to
clear out before the fumes do you in.
226
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,246
She's right, boss.
227
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,956
I'm feeling kind of...
228
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,499
Sick.
229
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,126
Hold it in, Rocco.
230
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:10,881
I'm only staying long enough
to collect what's mine.
231
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,258
(SQUEALS)
232
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,593
Hey!
233
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,148
(GASPS)
234
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,983
(PANTING)
235
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:37,074
Ooh! Look at the goodies.
236
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,368
That's ours, you louse!
237
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:43,623
Pammy, lwouldn't leave
you empty-handed.
238
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,542
JOKER: Since you like
flowers so much...
239
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,003
Oh, Pudding, no!
240
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,632
You can have mine!
241
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,259
(couemue)
242
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,053
Oh!
243
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,220
Red!
244
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,432
(LAUGHS)
245
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,061
It doesn't work on me.
246
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:11,609
(BOTH GRUNTING)
247
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:20,743
Get them!
248
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,252
(BOTH GROAN)
249
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,053
(BATMAN GRUNTING)
250
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,642
(TIRES SCREECHING)
251
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,899
Oh, Batsy!
252
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,389
(YELLING) Stop
shooting, you lunatic.
253
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,037
We're sitting on a powder keg.
254
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,772
Oops. Dopey me.
255
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,150
(GRUNTS)
256
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,168
(ENGINE STARTING)
257
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,881
(ENGINE REVVING)
258
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,799
(TIRES SCREECHING)
259
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,148
No man can take us prisoner.
260
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:16,817
(GUNSHOT)
261
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,194
(BOTH SCREAM)
262
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,450
All right, ladies.
263
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,868
Raise them.
264
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,496
(CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO)
265
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,252
JOKER: That's it.
266
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:39,006
Next time I start a
gang, no women.
267
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,716
(SHOUTING) Do you hear me?
268
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,384
No women!
269
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,304
I think we can
still work it out.
270
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,722
Don't you?
271
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:24,552
English - SDH