1 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,799 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,734 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 3 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,361 (RAIN PATTERING) 4 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:43,854 (SHIP'S HORN BLOWING) 5 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,373 Okay, let's see what we got. 6 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,335 (ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 7 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,504 Oh, that's impossible. 8 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,048 I'm gonna be sick. 9 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,174 FISHERMAN: All of them... 10 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,384 FISHERMAN 2: With the Joker's face. 11 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,779 FISHERMAN 3: It looks just like him. FISHERMAN 1: It can't be. 12 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,963 FISHERMAN 2: Call the police. 13 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,309 He's made his move. 14 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,518 Dining in tonight, sir? 15 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:07,229 The dissection tray, please, Alfred. 16 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,233 ALFRED: Any idea what our happy friend is up to now? 17 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,696 Normal criminals usually have logical motives. 18 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:20,075 But the Joker's insane schemes make sense to him alone. 19 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,247 (PHONE RINGING) 20 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,338 (CLEARING THROAT) 21 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,424 Look alive, wage slaves. 22 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,552 Presenting that caliph of clowns, 23 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,679 that mogul of mountebanks, 24 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,182 the one and only Joker! 25 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,892 (CHUCKLING) 26 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,396 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 27 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,940 Great Scott. 28 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,067 Actually, I'm Irish. 29 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,572 Good morning, Mr. Francis. 30 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,616 Please allow me to introduce my associates. 31 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,909 Miss Quinn. 32 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,453 (SPEAKING IN FRENCH) 33 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,747 And Messrs, uh... Oh. 34 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,292 Their names escape me for the moment. No matter. 35 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:14,546 We gentlemen of business have arrangements to discuss. 36 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,090 Uh, arrangements? 37 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,718 For my fish, of course. 38 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,555 This has all been worked out far in advance, Francis. 39 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,601 You are merely the last tiny cog in my grand design. 40 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,437 So don't speak to me again, okay? 41 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,940 Now, what is everyone in town talking about? 42 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,735 Uh, your fish? 43 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,904 I told you not to speak! 44 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:45,577 (SNIFFING) Ugh, fish. Stinker-roonie. 45 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,372 (couemue) 46 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,583 All better. 47 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,879 As I was saying, since every fish in Gotham now bears my famous 48 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,756 and frankly fabulous face, 49 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:02,093 I should be getting a profit from every fish product sold. 50 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,555 Let's say, a nickel per fish sandwich, 51 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,476 fifty cents for sardines. Millions of dollars a day 52 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,480 to finance my happily hedonistic lifestyle. 53 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:17,484 So which of your tedious copyright forms do I fill out first? 54 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,402 You may speak now. 55 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,280 (NERVOUSLY) No one can copyright fish. 56 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,616 They're a natural resource. 57 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,244 But they share my unique face. 58 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,579 Colonel what's-his-name has chickens, 59 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,706 and they don't even have mustaches. 60 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,251 I can't help it. It's the law! 61 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,462 Oh. Trying to cheat the Joker, are you? 62 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,382 Well, we'll see who has the last laugh. 63 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,053 You have until midnight to change your mind, Francis. 64 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,764 Or you'll be the poorest fish of all. 65 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,392 (CHUCKLING) 66 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,729 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 67 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,775 Buh-bye! 68 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,319 He's crazy. 69 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,449 NEWSREADER: Coming up next, Marla Benson has a special report 70 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,660 on the smiling fish epidemic. 71 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,580 How safe are Gotham's waters? 72 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,665 Well, he's not out to poison people. 73 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,085 This diluted toxin only affects fish. 74 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:20,046 Maybe he's trying to make us all die from disgust. 75 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,882 (WACKY TUNE PLAYING ON TV) 76 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,361 HARLEY: (SINGING) They're finny and funny. 77 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,678 And, oh, so delish. 78 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,431 They're joyful and jolly Joker Fish. 79 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,185 JOKER: Say, Mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight? 80 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,605 What?! I feed the family tonight? 81 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:40,567 (GROWLING LIKE A PIRATE) Try me famous Joker Fish. 82 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,446 There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper, 83 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,197 and Happy Haddock. 84 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,742 This could cause a stampede to pork. 85 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,952 Yummy, yum-Yum- 86 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:52,829 Eat it. 87 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:58,043 Uh, Mr. J, I have this little problem with fish. 88 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,963 Yummy, yum-Yum- 89 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,216 Yes, friends, that's Joker Fish. 90 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,509 (HARLEY RETCHING) 91 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,638 Tasty, tempting, and of course... 92 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,433 - Naturally low in cholesterol. - Naturally low in cholesterol. 93 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,102 Coming to your local store. 94 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:20,357 Just as soon as that nasty old Mr. G. Carl Francis 95 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,234 decides to give me my legal cut of the profits. 96 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,778 Change the channel. 97 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,280 (JOKER GIGGLING) 98 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,657 It's on every station. 99 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,534 Get a trace on that signal. Now! 100 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,996 I hope you've changed your mind, Mr. Francis, 101 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,083 because I haven't changed mine. 102 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,793 (CACKLING) 103 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,005 (CLOCK TICKING) 104 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,052 Relax, Mr. Francis. I've got men posted at every window and door. 105 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,804 Nobody's sneaking in here tonight. 106 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,098 If I got in this easily... 107 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,018 So will the Joker. 108 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,479 Hey, hey, this is police business. 109 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,231 Haul your bat butt out of here. 110 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,565 Hold it, Detective. 111 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,485 No one knows the Joker's methods better than Batman. 112 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,861 He stays. 113 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,198 Glory-hogging, long-underwear geek. 114 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,325 Uh, Batman, 115 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,202 why is this happening to me? 116 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,080 I've never done anything to this Joker. 117 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,792 I'm just a paper pusher. I can't change the laws. 118 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,043 I'm harmless. 119 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,839 And in his sick mind, that's the joke, Mr. Francis. 120 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,860 - Feeling all right? - Oh, sure. 121 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,196 It's just that everything's been so crazy today. 122 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,657 I haven't even had time to rinse off that gunk 123 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,993 the Joker's girl squirted on me. 124 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,829 (YELLING) Get this man to a hospital, now! 125 00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:58,955 What? 126 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,083 (CLOCK CHIMING) 127 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,673 - OFFICER: Watch out! - (OFFICERS EXCLAIMING) 128 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,635 (GAS HISSING) 129 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,555 (ALL COUGHING) 130 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,314 (OFFICERS couemue) 131 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,696 (couemue) 132 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,865 (cnecmue) 133 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:41,664 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 134 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,049 He'll be all right once the antivenom kicks in. 135 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:54,219 I don't get it. We all breathed the gas, and we're not smiling. 136 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,762 He didn't want us. 137 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,473 That gas is one part of a binary compound. 138 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,850 The Joker exposed Francis to the other part 139 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,393 when he threatened him this morning. 140 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,478 This just in. 141 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,688 Former Copyright Director G. Carl Francis 142 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,067 will be taking an extended vacation. 143 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,154 Looks like he's having more fun already. (LAUGHING) 144 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,781 But I'm not happy. 145 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,701 If I don't get legal claim to my fish by 3:00 a.m. 146 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,623 the number two bureaucrat, Thomas Jackson, will feel my wrath. 147 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,751 And now, Batman, because I know you're watching, 148 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,295 here's a message from our sponsor. 149 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,590 (SINGING) They're finny and funny And, oh, so delish 150 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,678 (HELICOPTER HOVERING) 151 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,972 All units, keep your eyes open for anything. 152 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,017 (INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER) 153 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,089 BULLOCK: I'd like to go on record as saying 154 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,074 this Batman business is the lamest idea and I... 155 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,450 Duly noted, Lieutenant. 156 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,328 But we're going to try it his way to protect Mr. Jackson. 157 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,174 Nearly 3:00 a.m. 158 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,967 And not a cackle from that hyena. 159 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,677 We must've scared him off. 160 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,929 - (BOTH GASPING) - What's that? 161 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,891 JACKSON: Just my cat. 162 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,978 BATMAN: A Joker Fish! 163 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,357 (CAT SNICKERING) 164 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,859 It's affecting it. Look out! 165 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,614 (CAT SCREECHING) 166 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,076 (CHUCKLING) 167 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,079 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 168 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,752 (LAUGHING sl_ows) 169 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,719 BATMAN: Even drugged, the cat went straight for its master. 170 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,764 (SNICKERING) 171 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,432 (HISSING) 172 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,853 (CAT MEOWING) 173 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,772 BULLOCK: Oh, this is just dandy, Commish. 174 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,482 Your pet bat's playing dress up 175 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,318 while the Joker's popping off pencil pushers right and left. 176 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,254 Well, I ain't sticking around to see who's next. 177 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,030 I got my own methods. 178 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,240 GORDON: Bullock! 179 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,328 Commissioner, have a look at this fish. 180 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,997 It's a Japanese tang, 181 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,583 not native to Gotham's cold waters. 182 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,168 GORDON: So where did it come from? 183 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,222 Freeze, copper! 184 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,599 I got you covered, see? 185 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,811 Well, if it ain't laughing boy's little hench-wench. 186 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,438 You're outgunned, sugar. 187 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,814 Do tell. 188 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,817 (EXCLAIMS) What? 189 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,070 - (BLOWS) - (SCREAMING) 190 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,905 Ooh, look at what I caught. 191 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,408 Kind of runty, though. 192 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,412 I'm gonna have to throw it back. 193 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,332 (LAUGHING) 194 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,668 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 195 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,053 JOKER: You know, Bullock, you may be a lousy cop, 196 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,764 but you make a terrific worm. 197 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,974 (LAUGHING) 198 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,437 You won't get away with this. 199 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,902 He's right, you know. 200 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,529 You're kidding. 201 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448 (SCREAMING) 202 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,204 If this lunchmeat figured out where we are, 203 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,997 Batman won't be far behind. 204 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,167 And why spoil my sharkie's appetite 205 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,461 when I can feed him bigger fish? 206 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,130 Hmm? (CHUCKLING) 207 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,675 Ugh! Again with the fish. I hate fish. 208 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:50,390 - Uh, no offense, Mr. J. - Poor Harley. 209 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643 This caper's been kind of rough on you, hasn't it? 210 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,311 Uh-huh. 211 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,604 Cheer up. 212 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,440 You can be my very own little mermaid. 213 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,025 Ooh. 214 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,529 (LAUGHING) 215 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,115 HARLEY: You're really sick, you know that, boss? 216 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,741 Mmm-hmm. 217 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,661 - (JINGLE PLAYING) - Huh? 218 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,246 (FARTING) 219 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,520 JOKER: Now, this fella here 220 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,733 came with his own grin. 221 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,694 See the resemblance? 222 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,655 And check out my catch of the day. 223 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,494 (MUFFLED YELLING) 224 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,953 Bullock. 225 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,498 (SPITS) 226 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,458 I didn't need no bat computer to tell me 227 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,668 that weird lookin' minnow came from an aquarium. 228 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,964 Yes, well, this is all tremendously boring. 229 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,799 'Course, I can always amuse myself 230 00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:51,594 watching old Harv give my shark indigestion. 231 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,054 Yeah. 232 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,479 Wait! 233 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,398 Let him go. 234 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,775 I'm the one you're after. 235 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,278 Gee, and let my little guppy go hungry? 236 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,030 I don't know. 237 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,408 What do you think we can do about that? 238 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,667 You're right, Harley. 239 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,502 Fish are disgusting. 240 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,213 I think I'll start using my toxin on cattle. 241 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,423 "Joker Burgers." Ha! 242 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,884 Talk about a Happy Meal. 243 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:35,012 (LAUGHING) 244 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,351 (SIGHING) You never could take a joke. 245 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,860 He doesn't stand a chance against that monster! 246 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,613 - Yeah. Catch. - Hey! 247 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,073 (JOKER LAUGHING) 248 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,004 (GASPING) 249 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,047 (VOCALIZING MERRILY) 250 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,215 (CHUCKLING) 251 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,051 Hey. Hey! 252 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,014 (POUNDING ON GLASS) 253 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,560 (MUFFLED SCREAMING) 254 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,483 (GRUNTING) 255 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,700 (LAUGHING MAN IACALLY) 256 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,329 Oh! Ah! (LAUGHING) 257 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,796 (GRUNTING) 258 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,928 (GROANING) 259 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,146 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 260 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,901 (ALL SCREAMING) 261 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,653 Oopsie. 262 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,906 (LAUGHING) 263 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,535 Huh? 264 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,093 (couemue) 265 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,427 You Okay? 266 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,431 Just give him one for me, will you? 267 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,230 (JOKER LAUGHING) 268 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,028 Huh? (GROWLING) 269 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,246 (GROANING) 270 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,541 Meanwhile, back at the wrench. 271 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:11,669 Since my side-splitters don't tickle you, 272 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,671 how about a skull-splitter? 273 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,136 Oh! 274 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,848 (EXCLAIMING) 275 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,936 There's no place left to go, Joker. 276 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,271 (GROWLING) 277 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,856 (EXCLAIMING INDIFFERENTLY) 278 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,484 (JOKER LAUGHING) 279 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,158 See, Batsy, I think of everything. 280 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,285 (LAUGHING) 281 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,245 Huh? (SCREAMING) 282 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,055 HARLEY: (SNIFFING) Oh, my poor, poor pudding. 283 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:10,352 Come on, he was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac. 284 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,229 Yeah. 285 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,648 I'm really gonna miss him. 286 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,318 (SOBBING) 287 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,616 GORDON: Do you think he's gone for good? 288 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,201 Believe me, Jim, 289 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,577 I wish it were true. 290 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,580 But deep inside, I doubt it. 291 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,477 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 292 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:16,794 English - SDH