1
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,799
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,734
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
3
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,361
(RAIN PATTERING)
4
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:43,854
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
5
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,373
Okay, let's see what we got.
6
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,335
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
7
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,504
Oh, that's impossible.
8
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,048
I'm gonna be sick.
9
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,174
FISHERMAN: All of them...
10
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,384
FISHERMAN 2: With
the Joker's face.
11
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,779
FISHERMAN 3: It looks just like him.
FISHERMAN 1: It can't be.
12
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,963
FISHERMAN 2: Call the police.
13
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,309
He's made his move.
14
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,518
Dining in tonight, sir?
15
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:07,229
The dissection tray,
please, Alfred.
16
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,233
ALFRED: Any idea what our
happy friend is up to now?
17
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,696
Normal criminals usually
have logical motives.
18
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:20,075
But the Joker's insane schemes
make sense to him alone.
19
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,247
(PHONE RINGING)
20
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,338
(CLEARING THROAT)
21
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,424
Look alive, wage slaves.
22
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,552
Presenting that
caliph of clowns,
23
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,679
that mogul of mountebanks,
24
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,182
the one and only Joker!
25
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,892
(CHUCKLING)
26
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,396
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
27
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,940
Great Scott.
28
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,067
Actually, I'm Irish.
29
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:58,572
Good morning, Mr. Francis.
30
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,616
Please allow me to
introduce my associates.
31
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,909
Miss Quinn.
32
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,453
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
33
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,747
And Messrs, uh... Oh.
34
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,292
Their names escape me for the moment.
No matter.
35
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:14,546
We gentlemen of business
have arrangements to discuss.
36
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,090
Uh, arrangements?
37
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,718
For my fish, of course.
38
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,555
This has all been worked
out far in advance, Francis.
39
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,601
You are merely the last
tiny cog in my grand design.
40
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,437
So don't speak to me
again, okay?
41
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,940
Now, what is everyone
in town talking about?
42
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,735
Uh, your fish?
43
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,904
I told you not to speak!
44
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:45,577
(SNIFFING) Ugh, fish.
Stinker-roonie.
45
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,372
(couemue)
46
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,583
All better.
47
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,879
As I was saying, since every fish
in Gotham now bears my famous
48
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,756
and frankly fabulous face,
49
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:02,093
I should be getting a profit
from every fish product sold.
50
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,555
Let's say,
a nickel per fish sandwich,
51
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,476
fifty cents for sardines.
Millions of dollars a day
52
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,480
to finance my happily
hedonistic lifestyle.
53
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:17,484
So which of your tedious copyright
forms do I fill out first?
54
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,402
You may speak now.
55
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,280
(NERVOUSLY) No one
can copyright fish.
56
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,616
They're a natural resource.
57
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,244
But they share my unique face.
58
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,579
Colonel what's-his-name
has chickens,
59
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,706
and they don't even
have mustaches.
60
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,251
I can't help it. It's the law!
61
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,462
Oh. Trying to cheat the
Joker, are you?
62
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,382
Well, we'll see who
has the last laugh.
63
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,053
You have until midnight to
change your mind, Francis.
64
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,764
Or you'll be the
poorest fish of all.
65
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,392
(CHUCKLING)
66
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,729
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
67
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,775
Buh-bye!
68
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,319
He's crazy.
69
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,449
NEWSREADER: Coming up next,
Marla Benson has a special report
70
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,660
on the smiling fish epidemic.
71
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,580
How safe are Gotham's waters?
72
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,665
Well,
he's not out to poison people.
73
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,085
This diluted toxin
only affects fish.
74
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:20,046
Maybe he's trying to make
us all die from disgust.
75
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,882
(WACKY TUNE PLAYING ON TV)
76
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,361
HARLEY: (SINGING)
They're finny and funny.
77
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,678
And, oh, so delish.
78
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,431
They're joyful and
jolly Joker Fish.
79
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,185
JOKER: Say, Mom,
wondering what to feed the family tonight?
80
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,605
What?!
I feed the family tonight?
81
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:40,567
(GROWLING LIKE A PIRATE)
Try me famous Joker Fish.
82
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,446
There's Smiling Smelt,
Giggling Grouper,
83
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,197
and Happy Haddock.
84
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,742
This could cause a
stampede to pork.
85
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,952
Yummy, yum-Yum-
86
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:52,829
Eat it.
87
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:58,043
Uh, Mr. J, I have this
little problem with fish.
88
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,963
Yummy, yum-Yum-
89
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,216
Yes, friends, that's Joker Fish.
90
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,509
(HARLEY RETCHING)
91
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,638
Tasty, tempting,
and of course...
92
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,433
- Naturally low in cholesterol.
- Naturally low in cholesterol.
93
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,102
Coming to your local store.
94
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:20,357
Just as soon as that nasty old Mr. G.
Carl Francis
95
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,234
decides to give me my
legal cut of the profits.
96
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,778
Change the channel.
97
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,280
(JOKER GIGGLING)
98
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,657
It's on every station.
99
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,534
Get a trace on that signal. Now!
100
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,996
I hope you've changed your
mind, Mr. Francis,
101
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,083
because I haven't changed mine.
102
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,793
(CACKLING)
103
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,005
(CLOCK TICKING)
104
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,052
Relax, Mr. Francis. I've got men
posted at every window and door.
105
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,804
Nobody's sneaking
in here tonight.
106
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,098
If I got in this easily...
107
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,018
So will the Joker.
108
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,479
Hey, hey,
this is police business.
109
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,231
Haul your bat butt out of here.
110
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,565
Hold it, Detective.
111
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,485
No one knows the Joker's
methods better than Batman.
112
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,861
He stays.
113
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,198
Glory-hogging,
long-underwear geek.
114
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,325
Uh, Batman,
115
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,202
why is this happening to me?
116
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,080
I've never done
anything to this Joker.
117
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,792
I'm just a paper pusher.
I can't change the laws.
118
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,043
I'm harmless.
119
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,839
And in his sick mind,
that's the joke, Mr. Francis.
120
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,860
- Feeling all right?
- Oh, sure.
121
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,196
It's just that everything's
been so crazy today.
122
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,657
I haven't even had time
to rinse off that gunk
123
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,993
the Joker's girl squirted on me.
124
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,829
(YELLING) Get this man
to a hospital, now!
125
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:58,955
What?
126
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,083
(CLOCK CHIMING)
127
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,673
- OFFICER: Watch out!
- (OFFICERS EXCLAIMING)
128
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,635
(GAS HISSING)
129
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,555
(ALL COUGHING)
130
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,314
(OFFICERS couemue)
131
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,696
(couemue)
132
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,865
(cnecmue)
133
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:41,664
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
134
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,049
He'll be all right once
the antivenom kicks in.
135
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:54,219
I don't get it. We all breathed the
gas, and we're not smiling.
136
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,762
He didn't want us.
137
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,473
That gas is one part
of a binary compound.
138
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,850
The Joker exposed
Francis to the other part
139
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,393
when he threatened
him this morning.
140
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,478
This just in.
141
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,688
Former Copyright Director G.
Carl Francis
142
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,067
will be taking an
extended vacation.
143
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,154
Looks like he's having more fun already.
(LAUGHING)
144
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,781
But I'm not happy.
145
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,701
If I don't get legal claim
to my fish by 3:00 a.m.
146
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,623
the number two bureaucrat,
Thomas Jackson, will feel my wrath.
147
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,751
And now, Batman,
because I know you're watching,
148
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,295
here's a message
from our sponsor.
149
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,590
(SINGING) They're finny and funny
And, oh, so delish
150
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,678
(HELICOPTER HOVERING)
151
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,972
All units,
keep your eyes open for anything.
152
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,017
(INDISTINCT POLICE
RADIO CHATTER)
153
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,089
BULLOCK: I'd like to
go on record as saying
154
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,074
this Batman business is
the lamest idea and I...
155
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,450
Duly noted, Lieutenant.
156
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:02,328
But we're going to try it his
way to protect Mr. Jackson.
157
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,174
Nearly 3:00 a.m.
158
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,967
And not a cackle
from that hyena.
159
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,677
We must've scared him off.
160
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,929
- (BOTH GASPING)
- What's that?
161
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,891
JACKSON: Just my cat.
162
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,978
BATMAN: A Joker Fish!
163
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,357
(CAT SNICKERING)
164
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,859
It's affecting it. Look out!
165
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,614
(CAT SCREECHING)
166
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,076
(CHUCKLING)
167
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,079
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
168
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,752
(LAUGHING sl_ows)
169
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,719
BATMAN: Even drugged,
the cat went straight for its master.
170
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,764
(SNICKERING)
171
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,432
(HISSING)
172
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,853
(CAT MEOWING)
173
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,772
BULLOCK: Oh,
this is just dandy, Commish.
174
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,482
Your pet bat's playing dress up
175
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,318
while the Joker's popping off
pencil pushers right and left.
176
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,254
Well, I ain't sticking
around to see who's next.
177
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,030
I got my own methods.
178
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,240
GORDON: Bullock!
179
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,328
Commissioner,
have a look at this fish.
180
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,997
It's a Japanese tang,
181
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,583
not native to
Gotham's cold waters.
182
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,168
GORDON: So where
did it come from?
183
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,222
Freeze, copper!
184
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,599
I got you covered, see?
185
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,811
Well, if it ain't laughing
boy's little hench-wench.
186
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,438
You're outgunned, sugar.
187
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,814
Do tell.
188
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,817
(EXCLAIMS) What?
189
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,070
- (BLOWS)
- (SCREAMING)
190
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,905
Ooh, look at what I caught.
191
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,408
Kind of runty, though.
192
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,412
I'm gonna have to throw it back.
193
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,332
(LAUGHING)
194
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,668
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
195
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,053
JOKER: You know, Bullock,
you may be a lousy cop,
196
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,764
but you make a terrific worm.
197
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,974
(LAUGHING)
198
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,437
You won't get away with this.
199
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,902
He's right, you know.
200
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,529
You're kidding.
201
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448
(SCREAMING)
202
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,204
If this lunchmeat
figured out where we are,
203
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,997
Batman won't be far behind.
204
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,167
And why spoil my
sharkie's appetite
205
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,461
when I can feed him bigger fish?
206
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,130
Hmm? (CHUCKLING)
207
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,675
Ugh! Again with the fish.
I hate fish.
208
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:50,390
- Uh, no offense, Mr. J.
- Poor Harley.
209
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643
This caper's been kind of rough on
you, hasn't it?
210
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,311
Uh-huh.
211
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,604
Cheer up.
212
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,440
You can be my very
own little mermaid.
213
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,025
Ooh.
214
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,529
(LAUGHING)
215
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,115
HARLEY: You're really
sick, you know that, boss?
216
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,741
Mmm-hmm.
217
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,661
- (JINGLE PLAYING)
- Huh?
218
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,246
(FARTING)
219
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,520
JOKER: Now, this fella here
220
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,733
came with his own grin.
221
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,694
See the resemblance?
222
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,655
And check out my
catch of the day.
223
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,494
(MUFFLED YELLING)
224
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,953
Bullock.
225
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,498
(SPITS)
226
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,458
I didn't need no bat
computer to tell me
227
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,668
that weird lookin' minnow
came from an aquarium.
228
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,964
Yes, well,
this is all tremendously boring.
229
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,799
'Course,
I can always amuse myself
230
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:51,594
watching old Harv give
my shark indigestion.
231
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,054
Yeah.
232
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,479
Wait!
233
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,398
Let him go.
234
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,775
I'm the one you're after.
235
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,278
Gee, and let my little
guppy go hungry?
236
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,030
I don't know.
237
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,408
What do you think we
can do about that?
238
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,667
You're right, Harley.
239
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,502
Fish are disgusting.
240
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,213
I think I'll start using
my toxin on cattle.
241
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,423
"Joker Burgers." Ha!
242
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,884
Talk about a Happy Meal.
243
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:35,012
(LAUGHING)
244
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,351
(SIGHING) You never
could take a joke.
245
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,860
He doesn't stand a chance
against that monster!
246
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,613
- Yeah. Catch.
- Hey!
247
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,073
(JOKER LAUGHING)
248
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,004
(GASPING)
249
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,047
(VOCALIZING MERRILY)
250
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,215
(CHUCKLING)
251
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,051
Hey. Hey!
252
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,014
(POUNDING ON GLASS)
253
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,560
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
254
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,483
(GRUNTING)
255
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,700
(LAUGHING MAN IACALLY)
256
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,329
Oh! Ah! (LAUGHING)
257
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,796
(GRUNTING)
258
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,928
(GROANING)
259
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,146
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
260
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,901
(ALL SCREAMING)
261
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,653
Oopsie.
262
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,906
(LAUGHING)
263
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,535
Huh?
264
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,093
(couemue)
265
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,427
You Okay?
266
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,431
Just give him one for
me, will you?
267
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,230
(JOKER LAUGHING)
268
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,028
Huh? (GROWLING)
269
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,246
(GROANING)
270
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,541
Meanwhile, back at the wrench.
271
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:11,669
Since my side-splitters
don't tickle you,
272
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,671
how about a skull-splitter?
273
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,136
Oh!
274
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,848
(EXCLAIMING)
275
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,936
There's no place left to
go, Joker.
276
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,271
(GROWLING)
277
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,856
(EXCLAIMING INDIFFERENTLY)
278
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,484
(JOKER LAUGHING)
279
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,158
See, Batsy,
I think of everything.
280
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,285
(LAUGHING)
281
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,245
Huh? (SCREAMING)
282
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,055
HARLEY: (SNIFFING) Oh,
my poor, poor pudding.
283
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:10,352
Come on, he was a demented,
abusive, psychotic maniac.
284
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,229
Yeah.
285
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,648
I'm really gonna miss him.
286
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,318
(SOBBING)
287
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,616
GORDON: Do you think
he's gone for good?
288
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,201
Believe me, Jim,
289
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,577
I wish it were true.
290
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,580
But deep inside, I doubt it.
291
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,477
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
292
00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:16,794
English - SDH