1
00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,630
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:32,301
<i>Be sure the bulbs are spaced far
enough apart for proper root growth,</i>

3
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:35,387
<i>and remember to give the
seedlings plenty of sunlight.</i>

4
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,182
(WHISTLING)

5
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,235
<i>Add just enough water. Then...</i>

6
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,320
(PATIENTS PROTESTING)

7
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,071
Hey, I was watching that.

8
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,407
And now you're watching this.

9
00:01:56,992 --> 00:02:00,579
<i>MAN: (CHUCKLING) Next, a dog drinks
milk out of his owner's mouth.</i>

10
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,914
Change it back.

11
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,043
Oh, no, no, no. Don't want to.

12
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,170
Guard!

13
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,339
What's the problem?

14
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:16,011
Don't look now, Sonny Jim,
but the plant lady's gone wackers again.

15
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,014
He started it.
I was just sitting here.

16
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,976
That's right.
You're always blaming me.

17
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,145
And the children
wonder why we fight.

18
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,272
Crazy.

19
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,941
I know you are, but what am I?

20
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:35,781
Okay, okay, you'll watch this quietly,
or you'll go back to your cells.

21
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:36,865
<i>Jawohl!</i>

22
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,617
I don't care.

23
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,873
You hold my hand,
and I'll slug you.

24
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,209
Guard!

25
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,252
Just kidding. Just kidding.

26
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,546
Yeesh, Pammy, lighten up.

27
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,385
<i>This is Summer Gleeson live
at Gotham Palisades Boardwalk,</i>

28
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,844
<i>where it's opening day</i>

29
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:01,264
<i>at billionaire Cameron Kaiser's
latest showplace resort.</i>

30
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:06,103
<i>Total price tag for this fun-seeker's
mecca, nearly $300 million.</i>

31
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,272
<i>It's true, Summer.</i>

32
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,150
<i>I set out to create the most opulent
gambling resort in the world.</i>

33
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,152
After all,
what's a few million here and there

34
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,196
as long as my guests are happy?

35
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,908
<i>Gotham's elite have turned
out in style for the opening.</i>

36
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,285
<i>Bruce Wayne,
perhaps you can give us a hint</i>

37
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,664
<i>about the top secret theme
of Mr. Kaiser's new casino.</i>

38
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,542
<i>Looks like we'll find out
together, Summer.</i>

39
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,252
- (APPLAUSE)
- (DRUMROLL)

40
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,380
Ladies and gentlemen,
the wait is over.

41
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,632
<i>I officially welcome
you, one and all...</i>

42
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:41,054
- To Jokers <i>Wild.</i>
- (HEAD LAUGHING)

43
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,347
Say what?

44
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,821
<i>SUMMER: Oh, just disgusting.</i>

45
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,282
<i>MAN: Psst!
Summer, we're on the air.</i>

46
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:04,703
<i>Oh, uh... There you have it.
Let's get a reaction from the guests.</i>

47
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,497
<i>- Uh, Mr. Wayne.
- No comment.</i>

48
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:17,424
<i>Mr. Kaiser,
why build a casino seemingly in honor</i>

49
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,385
<i>of one of history's
most notorious outlaws?</i>

50
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,345
<i>Summer, please.</i>

51
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:26,016
<i>My joker is a classic symbol,
long associated with cards and games.</i>

52
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,603
<i>I can't help it if there's a passing
resemblance to some criminal fruitcake.</i>

53
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,772
(JOKER GRUNTS)

54
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:37,569
How dare that smug,
preening fool try to cash in on my image!

55
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,905
Now who should lighten up?

56
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,324
Don't get cute with me, Red.

57
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,535
He's ripping me off.
I'll protest.

58
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,871
Yeah, I'll sue.

59
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,998
Then I'll rip his lungs out.

60
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,333
And I will, too.

61
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,710
Take it easy.

62
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,088
(GROANS) I feel dizzy.

63
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,425
Sick... Everything's spinning.

64
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,428
Oh! Need a doctor.

65
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,722
PAMELA: Oh, Joker?

66
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,475
Thanks for the smile.

67
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,686
(GROANS)

68
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,161
Hang on.
I'll get Dr. Bartholomew.

69
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,623
Yes. Hurry. Please.

70
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,459
(LAUGHING)

71
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,046
Sucker.

72
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,601
JOKER: What a maroon. Ha!

73
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,229
I know you are, but what am I?

74
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,441
The Joker!

75
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,318
(CACKLING)

76
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,783
Exit stage left,
laughing all the way.

77
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,662
- Hey!
- Excuse me.

78
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,009
- There he is!
- Get him!

79
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,388
Step right up and play
everyone's favorite game,

80
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,473
"What's the Joker
got in the pail?"

81
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,310
Maybe a deadly poison?

82
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,605
Or maybe just something to make
the floor nice and slippery.

83
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,566
- Hey!
- Look out!

84
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,031
I always did know
how to make an exit.

85
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:48,950
(ALARM BLARING)

86
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,577
Ta-da!

87
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,514
Don't try this at home, kids.

88
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,144
(WHOOPING)

89
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,605
(THUDDING)

90
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,858
Peekaboo.

91
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,445
Sorry, no riders.

92
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,571
(YELLS)

93
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,575
(TIRES SCREECHING)

94
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:38,041
Now to treat Mr. Cameron Kaiser
to a real blowout opening.

95
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,085
(CACKLING)

96
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,055
I didn't mind driving down here

97
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,140
at a moment's notice
with your equipment.

98
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,978
And I was happy to dream up a
plausible alibi for your date.

99
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:02,357
But staying in this horrid
place pushes even my tolerance.

100
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,025
Mine too.

101
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,402
But I'm convinced

102
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,697
it wasn't Kaiser's original goal
to make a Joker-themed casino.

103
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,202
- See?
- But why the deception?

104
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,955
That's what I
intend to find out.

105
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,749
(HEAD LAUGHING)

106
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,360
"Camelot." Hmm.

107
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,708
Looks like Kaiser broke
the bank on this place.

108
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,965
What an interesting hobby you've
got, Cameron.

109
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:12,844
Hey, you.

110
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,649
(GROANS)

111
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,404
(couemue)

112
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,160
Where are you?
Come out and fight.

113
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,506
(LAUGHING)

114
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,143
(WHISTLES)

115
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,896
Jumpin' Jiminy Christmas.

116
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,946
It's an homage to me.

117
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,615
I'm kind of sorry I
have to blow it up.

118
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:20,411
Go on and open table six.
We got players waiting.

119
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,122
Hmm.

120
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,374
(SNIFFING)

121
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,794
Then again,
all work and no play...

122
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:28,878
(CACKLES)

123
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,424
Good evening, folks.

124
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,388
The game is blackjack.

125
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,640
Joker's rules, of course.

126
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,724
(GIGGLES)

127
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,607
Ooh! Blackjack already.

128
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,693
Lucky me.

129
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,236
- Hey.
- What?

130
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,445
Hold on.

131
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,156
JOKER: Don't be sore losers.

132
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,074
We're here to have fun.

133
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,414
Mr. Kaiser,
that dealer's doing something screwy.

134
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,957
I'm calling security.

135
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,417
No. Wait.

136
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,380
<i>Ooh! Mercy me.
Another blackjack.</i>

137
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,049
<i>One might think I had
an ace up my sleeve.</i>

138
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,052
Let him deal.

139
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,263
Yes, sir. You're the boss.

140
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,933
(JOKER CACKLING)

141
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,403
- Try your luck, friend?
- Why not?

142
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,364
Say, don't I know you?

143
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,242
Sure. Bruce Wayne.

144
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,785
Huh.

145
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,164
So this is how your family
made all those billions.

146
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,752
The secret's out. And you are?

147
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,756
Oh, just a nameless clown,
shuffling my life away.

148
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,302
Too bad it has to be in
such gruesome surroundings.

149
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,557
Don't care for the decor?

150
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:08,311
Not hardly. All those
horrible faces grinning at me.

151
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,272
That would do things to
my mind after a while.

152
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,983
Who says you have one?

153
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,780
Yeah, I'd be ready for
the laughing academy

154
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,075
if I had to stare at
that ugly clown all day.

155
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,828
- Why I ought to...
- Hit me.

156
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,167
(GASPS)

157
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:33,878
Twenty.

158
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,508
Oh, lucky me. Twenty-one.

159
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:43,012
How nice. A little something
for the Wayne Charity Fund.

160
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,099
Good night.

161
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,101
(GROWLS)

162
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,609
He's here.

163
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,279
Place your bets, folks.

164
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:00,655
(ALL GASP)

165
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,907
- BATMAN: You.
- Huh?

166
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,034
- Batman.
- It's Batman.

167
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,160
I don't believe it.

168
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,830
- It is Batman!
- What's he doing here?

169
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,999
Whoops! Time to cash out.

170
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,044
- Hey!
- Hey.

171
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,422
MAN: Stop that guy.

172
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,143
(CACKLING)

173
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,479
(ALL CLAMORING)

174
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:37,900
(MAN SCREAMS)

175
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,030
(TIRES SCREECH)

176
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324
(CACKLING)

177
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,587
Here's where I get off.

178
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,131
Whoo!

179
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,813
Not bad for a starter,

180
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,608
but the real fireworks
are still to come.

181
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:28,242
Whoops! Coming through.
Hot stuff. One side, please.

182
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,928
I wouldn't take odds on this place
lasting the night. (CHUCKLES)

183
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,604
(JOKER HUMMING)

184
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,315
<i>MAN: Helipad.</i>

185
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,318
I want my personal 'copter
ready for takeoff in 20 minutes.

186
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,444
<i>Yes, sir, Mr. Kaiser.</i>

187
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,454
(GASPS)

188
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,706
Going somewhere?

189
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,585
First you trash my
penthouse, then my casino.

190
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,909
You gonna wreck something else?

191
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:24,507
If I didn't know better,
I'd say you wanted this place destroyed.

192
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:30,388
After spending 300 million to build it?
That's not good business, my friend.

193
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,473
I've seen the unpaid bills.

194
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,934
Building this casino
has bankrupted you.

195
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,854
That's why you turned it
into a target for the Joker.

196
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,107
Once he destroys it,
you'll collect the insurance money.

197
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,693
You hit the jackpot, Batman.

198
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,779
But I've got too much at
stake to be stopped now.

199
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,365
(YELLS)

200
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,746
Ah! You again.

201
00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,668
- What do we do with him, boss?
- Send him down to his friend.

202
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,546
(JOKER HUMMING)

203
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,970
- Huh?
- (ELEVATOR DINGS)

204
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,054
(GROANING)

205
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,810
Kind of slow on the
reflexes, eh, Batsy?

206
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,606
That car crash must have taken
more out of you than I thought.

207
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,483
(CACKLING)

208
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,580
Wa key, wa key.

209
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,540
(GROANING)

210
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,128
(STRAINING)

211
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,345
Thought you'd like to be
conscious for your own demise.

212
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,264
I really put some
effort into this one.

213
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,352
Once I spin the wheel,

214
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,978
you, the casino

215
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:05,816
and that strutting fool Kaiser
will all be blown sky-high.

216
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,985
Not bad, eh?

217
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,323
You won't get Kaiser.
He's been playing you for a patsy.

218
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,075
Eh?

219
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,577
He's counting on you
to blow this place up

220
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:17,995
so he can collect the insurance.

221
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,331
By the time you get clear,

222
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,583
Kaiser will be miles
away, laughing at you.

223
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,378
I hate it when you make sense.

224
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,219
I'll settle my score with
Kaiser, man to clown.

225
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,763
But that still doesn't
let you off the hook.

226
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,851
(WHEEL WHIRRING)

227
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,321
How about that, Bats?
Looks like your number's up.

228
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,657
(CACKLING)

229
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:03,916
(STRAINING)

230
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,531
- Get me out of here now!
- Yes, sir.

231
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:41,912
(MAN GRUNTING)

232
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,291
What happened?

233
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,004
Some clown jumped me
and grabbed my 'copter.

234
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,422
Mr. Kaiser's up there.

235
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,639
What are you circling
for, you fool?

236
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,352
- It was a scheme worthy of me, Kaiser.
- (GASPS)

237
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:09,065
The way you got me riled up and
turned me loose on this place.

238
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,903
You... You were supposed
to destroy the casino.

239
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,823
Yeah, but then I realized it'd
be more fun to get rid of you

240
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,408
and run the show myself.

241
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,410
But you can't!

242
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:26,749
Oh, please, Mr. Kaiser,
you of all people should've realized

243
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,668
there'd be a joker in the deck.

244
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,753
(CACKLING)

245
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:37,051
Why can't he ever stay dead?

246
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,740
(GUNSHOTS)

247
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,245
JOKER: Gotcha!

248
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,667
Yes.

249
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,592
(HEAD LAUGHING)

250
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:24,890
That's it.
Chew him up and spit him out.

251
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,058
(JOKER CACKLING)

252
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,909
Stop! You'll kill us all!

253
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,275
(GROANS)

254
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,653
- (CHIMING)
- (AUTOMATED VOICE WHOOPING)

255
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:29,371
<i>And so it ended for both ex-billionaire
Cameron Kaiser and the Joker.</i>

256
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,208
Ah! Enough of this rubbish.

257
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,292
PAMELA: Hey!

258
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,002
ALL: We were watching that.

259
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,421
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

260
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,966
<i>And was returned to Arkham.</i>

261
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,720
Ah, you bunch of no-good,
whacked-out losers.

262
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:45,971
You make me sick.

263
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,937
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)