1
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,447
Wait, what happened?
2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,483
I thought you were
gonna renovate this place.
3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,901
As did I,
4
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,436
but I was betrayed
5
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:12,389
by a lying little country
music wannabe.
6
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,873
Was that directed at me?
7
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,308
Yes! Who else?
8
00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:17,861
I don't know who
all lies to you!
9
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:20,580
Also, there's a
Mr. Slater to see you.
10
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,565
Just Slater. It's a
mononym, like...
11
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,000
Jesus Christ.
12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,453
Nope. He's in
here, you ritzy ditz.
13
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,390
What are you doing, Dave?
14
00:00:30,414 --> 00:00:31,925
So, uh, should I come back?
15
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,361
No. No, no, no. Of course not.
16
00:00:34,385 --> 00:00:35,846
Yeah, that's what
I was thinking.
17
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,447
I mean, whatever the
task, we are up to it.
18
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,517
We are professional and...
19
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,819
There's a Mr. Slater to see you.
20
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,154
I'm gonna go.
21
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,939
Good. Why are you
here in the first place?
22
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,207
Mr. Slater...
23
00:00:47,231 --> 00:00:49,059
Just Slater. And hang on.
24
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,960
Excuse me, are you and
I gonna have a problem?
25
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,313
I mean, I'm sure we
will at some point, but...
26
00:00:53,337 --> 00:00:54,647
Sterling. Mr...
27
00:00:54,671 --> 00:00:56,182
Just Slater.
28
00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,434
Has... Had.
29
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,185
An important assignment for us
30
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:01,838
which I'm sure we
can kick right through
31
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,373
the basket for a homerun.
32
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,075
I'm gonna go.
33
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,310
Look, you're already here.
34
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,497
Why not just tell us
what the mission is?
35
00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:14,167
I will, but only
because I choose to.
36
00:01:14,191 --> 00:01:15,284
One of our, well,
37
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,036
I guess you could
call him a freelancer...
38
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,171
What do you call him?
39
00:01:18,195 --> 00:01:20,290
I call him a freelancer.
Shut up, please.
40
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:23,510
Anyway, he needs an
extraction from Buenos Aires.
41
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:26,997
Ugh, it's just us. You can
say "Buaynos Aireeze."
42
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,164
And... Hush.
43
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,933
And what operation is the CIA
44
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,184
conducting in Argentina?
45
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,854
Oh, sorry. It's called
Operation Nunya.
46
00:01:33,878 --> 00:01:36,105
I... As in beeswax, Lana.
47
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,106
Yes, I...
48
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,409
Dr. Kane, report
to the burn unit.
49
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,662
To help a patient
who's been burned?
50
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,747
No.
51
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,032
Anyway, his cover's been blown.
52
00:01:46,056 --> 00:01:47,934
Argentine
Intelligence is onto him
53
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:50,337
and he needs an
extraction A.S.A.G.D.M.F.P.
54
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:53,507
So why us? Why not
keep it in-house at CIA?
55
00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:57,894
Because, turns out, you
actually know this operator.
56
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,295
Uh, do you mind?
57
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:00,931
Hmm? Oh!
58
00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:04,101
Conway Stern?
59
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:09,839
Yes, Conway Stern. Questions?
60
00:02:49,052 --> 00:02:51,314
Yeah, can I start?
61
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,332
You guys mind
if I start? I'll start.
62
00:02:53,356 --> 00:02:54,984
Are you out of
your shitting mind?
63
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:55,986
Sterling! Excuse me?
64
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,003
He literally stabbed
me in the back.
65
00:02:58,027 --> 00:03:00,056
Because you
jeopardized his mission.
66
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,274
What mission?
67
00:03:01,298 --> 00:03:04,411
To sell classified military
technology to the Chinese?
68
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:07,246
Phony technology we
wanted China to have.
69
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,033
They've been chasing their tails
on the whisper drive for years.
70
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,918
Oh... "Oh"?
71
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,103
I knew it. In my
heart of hearts,
72
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,039
I knew he was one
of the good guys.
73
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:19,009
Literally. The back. Stabbed it.
74
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,244
Then you people
ripped off his hands so...
75
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,747
After he literally stabbed me.
76
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:24,798
In the back.
77
00:03:24,822 --> 00:03:26,432
Oh, give it a rest, Sterling.
78
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,418
I'm sure you did
something to deserve it.
79
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,536
But now you have a
chance to right that wrong,
80
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,138
which is a rare thing.
81
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:34,257
About as rare as getting
called up to the majors
82
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:35,508
from single A ball...
83
00:03:35,532 --> 00:03:36,860
Hey. Lana.
84
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,512
I assume that was a sports
analogy meant to be cutting
85
00:03:39,536 --> 00:03:42,315
but we will take the
mission, won't we, Sterling?
86
00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:44,317
Huh? Yeah. Oh, sorry.
87
00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:46,936
It's just I'm worried
my entire life
88
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,788
I've been misusing
the word "literally."
89
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,241
And certainly overusing.
90
00:03:55,052 --> 00:03:57,396
- You're not worried?
- Why should I worry?
91
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,833
Because I'm the one that
ripped off Conway's hand?
92
00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:00,850
No. About...
93
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,435
Or that he'll
double-cross us again?
94
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,487
Which a blowjob says he does.
95
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,790
And Mother and Slater and
the CIA are idiots for trusting him.
96
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,742
I'm talking about us
flying on the same plane.
97
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,010
What if it crashed?
98
00:04:11,034 --> 00:04:14,180
Then I wouldn't have had
to watch you pound 20 drinks
99
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:16,816
and then try to talk the
stewardess into a hand job.
100
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,468
Where are you getting 20 drinks?
101
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,303
Uh, from 10 doubles?
102
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,939
"A," those were
mini-bottles and two,
103
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,457
I'm talking about A.J., Lana.
104
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:25,758
Who's going to take care of her
105
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:28,222
if something
happens to both of us?
106
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,915
Well, me. Obviously.
107
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,583
You think... Heh. Okay, wow.
108
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,267
You think, in the
event of their deaths,
109
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:38,254
that you would be
A.J.'s legal guardian?
110
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,839
Who else would
they possibly choose?
111
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,958
You've met yourself, right?
112
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,060
If it's anybody
around here, it's me.
113
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,345
Of course. The one who
smokes next to the baby.
114
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,369
Dukes!
115
00:04:50,908 --> 00:04:52,591
Ray!
116
00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:56,756
You know...
117
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,028
All right, Virginia
Slim. You're...
118
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:06,683
Nap time. I have a
meeting. Goodbye.
119
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,418
Look, don't worry
about A.J., okay?
120
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,020
Well, I think one of us should.
121
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,573
No, I... I vote for
Mother and Woodhouse.
122
00:05:13,597 --> 00:05:15,074
To raise my child?
123
00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:17,860
Our child, Lana. And yes. And...
124
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,061
Can we talk about this later?
125
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,866
We're definitely
gonna talk about it later,
126
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,033
I can promise you that.
127
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,703
And can you promise
that even though Conway...
128
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,038
Literally.
- -stabbed you in the back,
129
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,706
that you won't do
anything revenge-y
130
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,425
and stupid when
he opens the door?
131
00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:36,879
Hmm, I want to say...
132
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:40,166
No! Revenge rampage!
133
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,010
How do you still have two hands?
134
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,646
You cyborg son of a b...
135
00:06:45,956 --> 00:06:48,167
You're out of sugar.
136
00:06:49,426 --> 00:06:51,220
Oh, good. You're making tea.
137
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,189
Because I could use
some with honey and lemon.
138
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,425
And bourbon.
139
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,993
But actually, without
the honey and lemon.
140
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,479
And the tea.
141
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,963
So just bourbon.
142
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:01,987
Yeah, but I doubt if...
143
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,802
Shut up. Don't ruin it.
I had something for...
144
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,687
Puke Skywalker?
145
00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:09,088
Goddamn it.
146
00:07:09,112 --> 00:07:11,558
Anyway, I doubt the
robot has any bourbon
147
00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:15,995
and I'm not really in the
mood for a WD-40 and Coke.
148
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,503
Unless that is, literally,
the only thing to drink.
149
00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:24,370
I think I might be concussed.
150
00:07:24,394 --> 00:07:25,771
Hell hath no fury, huh?
151
00:07:25,795 --> 00:07:26,840
Meaning?
152
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,858
As a woman scorned.
Lana, remember?
153
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,127
I kind of scorned
you last time we met?
154
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,680
Ha, ha. Yeah, you are
definitely concussed.
155
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,498
Not to mention a Decepticon.
156
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,350
Where the hell did
you get a bionic hand?
157
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,374
Uh...
158
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,389
So, what's new? How you been?
159
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:44,406
Sharper Image?
160
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,693
Uh-huh. Sounds
more like Krieger.
161
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:47,994
Jesus Christ. Will he not rest
162
00:07:48,018 --> 00:07:50,330
until we've all been
enslaved by Skynet?
163
00:07:50,354 --> 00:07:52,515
Hey, we are
leaving in five, so...
164
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,501
Right after I enjoy this yerba
maté and caña smoothie,
165
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,237
with a WD-40 float.
166
00:07:59,662 --> 00:08:02,358
Although enjoy is
maybe a bit strong.
167
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,177
Ugh. Conway, grab
whatever you need,
168
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,929
presumably some fresh nine-volts
169
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,646
and let's get this
extraction going.
170
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,699
I can't. I don't
have the intel yet.
171
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,884
What intel? Slater
said "extraction."
172
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,304
When he asked us
to come rescue you.
173
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,105
From what? Your
mom's antique vagina?
174
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,129
You son of a...
175
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,143
Hey! Enough, you two!
176
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,511
Tell him that.
177
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:22,528
Pretty sure I just did.
178
00:08:22,552 --> 00:08:24,864
Now, what and
where is this intel?
179
00:08:24,888 --> 00:08:27,349
It's a computer file
with the real identity
180
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:28,967
of every single CIA agent
181
00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:31,137
operating in Central
and South America.
182
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,838
Argentina's using
it for leverage
183
00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:34,557
threatening to trade
it to the Soviets.
184
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,776
Wait. Isn't Argentina our ally?
185
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,893
You'd think, right?
186
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,946
After we threw them
that lovely coup?
187
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,547
The file is on the
mainframe computer
188
00:08:41,571 --> 00:08:43,616
of the Argentine Secret
Intelligence Service.
189
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,767
Okay. Here's what we do...
190
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,536
How about maybe let him finish?
191
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,289
Hmm. Okay. But then
we go with my plan.
192
00:08:49,313 --> 00:08:51,373
The mainframe is a
standalone in a secure vault.
193
00:08:52,549 --> 00:08:54,761
Hardened, keycard,
and retinal scan entry.
194
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,745
On the top floor of the
Intelligence building,
195
00:08:56,769 --> 00:09:00,149
which is heavily guarded at all
times by Argentine special ops
196
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,384
on standing orders
to shoot to kill
197
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:05,755
any and all
unauthorized personnel.
198
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,640
You mentioned
something about a plan?
199
00:09:07,664 --> 00:09:10,560
I mean, he obviously
thinks he has a plan,
200
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,980
so whatever. Let's hear it.
201
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,435
Where is it?
202
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,204
Where's what? What are you...?
203
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,772
I flushed it!
204
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,558
Ahh! I will kill you.
205
00:09:25,582 --> 00:09:27,610
Where you stand.
206
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:28,945
Hey.
207
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,897
Is it too much to ask,
during the goddamn work day
208
00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:34,817
for two separate sessions
of 80 uninterrupted minutes
209
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,836
each of quality dump time?
210
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,055
I mean, I'm not
a labor attorney.
211
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,624
Yes, it is entirely
too much to ask.
212
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,859
I thought so, yeah.
213
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,345
So I'll pass that on to
who or whomever asked.
214
00:09:45,369 --> 00:09:47,663
And if you harmed
one single hair
215
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,248
on her little
brown head, I will...
216
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,033
- Wait, do what?
- Whose head?
217
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,519
Baby A.J. She's missing!
218
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,220
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, thank God.
219
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:58,074
And since you are the only one
around here who hates babies...
220
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,326
Just baby people.
221
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,645
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on. I'm sure...
222
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,263
Wait. Did you murder the baby?
223
00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:05,331
Uh-uh.
224
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,750
No, but, like,
swearsie-realsies?
225
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,568
Swearsie-realsies.
226
00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:12,238
And that's pretty
sacred to us, so...
227
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,825
We'll go help you
look for baby A.J.
228
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,846
In, like, five-teen, 40 minutes.
229
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:23,182
And so Conway's
plan doesn't strike you
230
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,967
as unnecessarily complicated?
231
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,435
No, Lana, it doesn't.
232
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,254
And it doesn't strike you as
233
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:30,873
"Brazilian minstrel show
meets Trading Places?"
234
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,442
No, Lana, it doesn't.
235
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,359
And that's not just because
236
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,446
you get to wear that
ri-dork-ulous facerug?
237
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,563
No, Lana, it...
238
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:39,248
Look. If I have to
pull this car over
239
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,700
we're all gonna
be murdered, so...
240
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,852
Just get us in the
damn garage, man.
241
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,788
You're not the boss of me.
242
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,690
Archer, just... Or you.
243
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,258
I don't care if you
are the president
244
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,676
and first lady of Brazil
245
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,796
on a pan-American goodwill
tour of intelligence headquarters.
246
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,867
Coronel Lando Calrissiano,
de Las Fuerzas Especiales
247
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,436
doesn't work for you.
248
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,088
Although he has
nailed his backstory.
249
00:11:02,112 --> 00:11:03,506
Lando Cal...
250
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,709
Will you shut up?
251
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:07,693
I need to think.
252
00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:09,528
Don't yell at me,
I didn't lose her.
253
00:11:09,552 --> 00:11:11,214
Now, just try to
retrace your steps.
254
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,468
Well, I wasn't in
the sofa cushions.
255
00:11:15,492 --> 00:11:17,937
Ahh! Well, you
could have said that.
256
00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:18,954
I did.
257
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:21,908
I thought you were
being sarcastic!
258
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,894
It is kind of hard
to tell with you.
259
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,362
Okay, here we go.
260
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,582
Conway, shut up, and try
to look semi-presidential.
261
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,150
And, Lana, try to look,
262
00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:33,119
actually, yeah.
Matronly. You nailed it.
263
00:11:33,143 --> 00:11:34,754
You know...
264
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,224
Coronel, heh.
265
00:11:38,248 --> 00:11:40,492
Um, okay.
266
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,279
Um, bueno.
267
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,525
"Lando"? "Calrissiano..."
268
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:58,111
Okay, so here's
the thing with that.
269
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,448
Boring conversation anyway.
270
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,700
Goddamn it, Archer!
271
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,285
That's Coronel
Calrissiano to you.
272
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:08,955
Archer.
273
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:11,457
Don't drive angry.
274
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,376
What the hell are you doing?
275
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,962
I'm Archer-izing this plan.
276
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,714
What? No, no. Uh-uh.
277
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,800
You cannot make yourself
a verb. I will not allow it.
278
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,368
I'm a verb now, Lana.
279
00:12:22,392 --> 00:12:24,553
Deal with it.
280
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,472
And then, also,
cover me, please.
281
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,057
Idiotas!
282
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,309
Um...
283
00:12:41,478 --> 00:12:42,971
on the ground!
284
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,741
Uh, perdón?
285
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,643
On the ground,
Pyle! What are you...?
286
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,195
Oh. Uh...
287
00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:51,047
See how I switched to English?
288
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,666
I was testing him.
Good work, Pyle.
289
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,822
How about a big
hand for Pyle, gang?
290
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,208
Lana!
291
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:03,225
Archer!
292
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,661
Lana! Lana!
293
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,229
What are you,
jealous I'm a verb?
294
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:11,434
Jesus Christ, Pyle! I heard you.
295
00:13:12,742 --> 00:13:14,720
Archer!
296
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,543
What are you doing?
297
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,760
Shooting out the glass.
298
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:22,945
No, no, no! Don't! It's...
299
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,347
bulletproof.
300
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:30,519
Archer!
301
00:13:32,429 --> 00:13:35,073
So, uh, how come
you and I didn't hook up
302
00:13:35,097 --> 00:13:36,375
last time we worked together?
303
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,611
Well, "A," you were
too busy banging
304
00:13:38,635 --> 00:13:40,746
Cheryl or Carol or Cristal...
305
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,764
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
306
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,200
The crazy Jew-Santa chick.
307
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,701
And "B" through "Z,"
308
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,920
because you're a
large-diameter dickhole.
309
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:49,805
Mm-hm. Well, you're
looking good, girl.
310
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,457
Lot curvier than I remember.
311
00:13:51,481 --> 00:13:53,509
I had a baby.
312
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,762
Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
313
00:13:56,786 --> 00:13:58,598
Never mind what?
314
00:13:58,622 --> 00:14:00,600
Like, name it.
315
00:14:00,624 --> 00:14:01,624
You know...
316
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:09,797
So you done Archer-izing?
317
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,850
Because, you jackass,
318
00:14:18,874 --> 00:14:22,838
to recap, you locked
us in the stupid limo!
319
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,174
Well, I still don't
see why that means
320
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,858
I'm the one who
has to carry Pyle.
321
00:14:26,882 --> 00:14:28,928
Well, then slice out
his retinas, okay?
322
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,247
I can't. It would kill Lou-Ann.
323
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:36,602
Oh, and speaking
of... Goddamn it.
324
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,340
Speaking of what?
325
00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:42,858
If something
happens to both of us,
326
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,576
who's gonna take
care of the baby?
327
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,196
Her baby's yours?
328
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,199
Can we please put a pin in this?
329
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,633
No, Lana, we can't!
330
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,287
I want to know why you
don't want it to be Mother.
331
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,824
Because how did you lose a baby?
332
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,826
She was right there in the pram.
333
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:03,495
I made a drink,
my furrier called.
334
00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:05,831
Spoiler alert, he's
robbing me blind.
335
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:08,450
I called immigration, tried
to get his father deported.
336
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:11,186
I made another drink,
but I was out of ice, so I...
337
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,189
What? What is it?
338
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,590
Krieger!
339
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,092
He was skulking around out
there while I went out to get ice.
340
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,962
Come on, to that
Nazi freak's lab.
341
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,553
Hey. Are guns really necessary?
342
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:26,001
Because I'm seriously asking.
343
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,186
Seriously?
344
00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:29,405
Yes, Lana, seriously.
345
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,473
Why isn't my mother
good enough to raise A.J.?
346
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:34,026
No! Don't shoot! There's a baby!
347
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:36,462
And why? Why do
you have the baby?
348
00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:38,698
Oh, my God.
349
00:15:38,722 --> 00:15:40,633
Okay. So here's
the thing with that.
350
00:15:40,657 --> 00:15:42,735
- That is a nightmare.
- Seriously?
351
00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:44,153
Goddamn, dude.
352
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,372
You were going to
make her a robot?
353
00:15:46,396 --> 00:15:48,741
I wish. I mean, no. No.
354
00:15:48,765 --> 00:15:51,627
I was doing market
research for the TB-800
355
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:54,330
A.K.A. Cyberneddly Teddly.
356
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,999
Oh, please. That's
a baby skeleton.
357
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:59,151
No, but once I figure out
358
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,469
how to grow actual bear tissue
359
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,453
to cover it...
360
00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:02,554
Goddamn, dude. Dude.
361
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:04,006
Damn. How creepy. Damn.
362
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,074
No, wait. Teddly's
here somewhere.
363
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,376
Or was. I swear.
364
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,695
Teddly? Teddly?
365
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,613
Cyril, secure the child.
366
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,633
And the rest of you, I
can't see any benefit
367
00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:17,352
in telling Lana what
happened here today.
368
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:18,553
Understood?
369
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,923
I'm not saying nothing.
I'm on board for that.
370
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,591
And, Krieger, I swear to God,
371
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,243
if I catch you near
this child again...
372
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,048
But... I will shoot
you in the genitals
373
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,784
and then sit here
sipping Amontillado sherry
374
00:16:31,808 --> 00:16:33,657
while you bleed to death.
375
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,727
Meedeep?
376
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:47,999
Tada!
377
00:16:51,561 --> 00:16:54,661
Yeah, thanks, Mr. Bear-jangles.
378
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,081
Wait, you already knew the code?
379
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,283
Of course he did. He's a cyborg.
380
00:17:04,307 --> 00:17:05,901
It was probably
Gaius Baltar's...
381
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,404
Ah, oh!
382
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:12,241
Archer? You
double-crossing son of a bitch.
383
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,575
Called it.
384
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,694
Well, yeah. Come on.
We all saw this coming.
385
00:17:15,718 --> 00:17:16,762
Now, drop them.
386
00:17:18,154 --> 00:17:21,300
I was gonna say zip code, guys.
387
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:23,736
Okay, idiots, thanks for
helping me get the disk.
388
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,472
The Soviets are going to
pay out the zadnitsa for this.
389
00:17:26,496 --> 00:17:28,390
But you could have
gotten the disk yourself.
390
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:29,642
Why drag us into it?
391
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:32,010
Well, I knew Dick
van Head over there
392
00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,962
could pass for a
Latino to get us in.
393
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,981
Nailed it. But
mostly for revenge.
394
00:17:36,005 --> 00:17:39,768
Remember how you
ripped off my hand, woman?
395
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,987
Yeah, vaguely, but if
it's revenge you want,
396
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:43,489
why don't you shoot me?
397
00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:45,641
I was going to, but come on.
398
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:48,043
I'm not a monster.
You just had a kid.
399
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,211
Me too, though.
400
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779
And what are you
doing in the window?
401
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:54,783
Base. Jumping. Ha-ha-ha.
This is a parachute.
402
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:58,454
Well, Conway,
you win this round.
403
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,889
Who are you? Wait. Hang on.
404
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,125
Horatio Kane. Goddamn it.
405
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:05,177
But "Kane" obviously spelled...
406
00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:06,645
I got it.
407
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,013
And hey, give me a call
408
00:18:08,037 --> 00:18:09,731
if things don't work
out with the kid.
409
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,400
And you lose the baby weight.
410
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,406
Are... you... kidding... me?
411
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,744
Yeah. Lose that
weight, Conway Stern.
412
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,797
Or whatever your real name is.
413
00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:27,766
I lied. That is my real name.
414
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,706
Ma, they got old
Lando this time.
415
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:36,158
I'm done for.
416
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,928
Archer, shut up.
You're gonna be okay.
417
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,662
You really think so?
418
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:42,987
I mean, maybe.
419
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,501
Although that can't bode well.
420
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,169
You get the disk?
421
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,153
Slater?
422
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:49,505
Did you get the disk?
423
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,529
Yes, idiot.
424
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,675
And also several bullets so...
425
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,943
Then come on, get in the back.
426
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,896
I got a plane
waiting at an airstrip.
427
00:19:01,758 --> 00:19:03,519
So hey, about this blowjob...
428
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,569
Shut up.
429
00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:05,737
Conway was a traitor.
430
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,823
He was gonna sell
the disk to the Soviets.
431
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,491
Yeah, yeah. We
kind of suspected that.
432
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,760
"Kind of?" So you
sent us into a...
433
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,379
Wait. So you followed
us down here?
434
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,266
Come on. We're not gonna
put a couple of untested rookies
435
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,534
in the starting lineup...
436
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:19,968
of game seven of the world...
437
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,137
Seriously, okay,
as I was saying...
438
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,590
Goddamn it, Archer. I am
not giving you a blowjob.
439
00:19:24,614 --> 00:19:25,607
Not that.
440
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,226
A.J.. If something
happens to us.
441
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,011
I really don't think
that this is the time
442
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,013
to talk about that.
443
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,037
When then?
444
00:19:33,122 --> 00:19:34,883
Why don't you want
to talk about it, Lana?
445
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:39,238
Because I'm afraid
it'll hurt your feelings.
446
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:43,809
Because, if anything happens
to me and just me, Archer,
447
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,061
then A.J. would
live with my parents.
448
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,529
Oh.
449
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,315
Yeah, uh... I... I guess
that makes sense.
450
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,303
They're probably
pretty old, though, right?
451
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,606
And if anything
happened to them,
452
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,764
then A.J. would
live with my sister.
453
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:02,744
You have a sister?
454
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:06,053
Ugh. Yes, Archer,
I have a sister.
455
00:20:08,324 --> 00:20:11,319
She younger?