1
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,569
ARCHER: Are you shitting me?
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,049
[WHIRRING] How can they do that?
3
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:10,241
And do you have to do
that right goddamn now?
4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,421
I actually don't have to do it
ever. [WHIRRING STOPS]
5
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:16,048
[SIGHS] And so I ask
again, why are you?
6
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:18,578
[GRUNTS] How can
they seize my penthouse?
7
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,168
Well, A, they're the government,
8
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,437
and B, ISIS owned
that penthouse, so...
9
00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:23,650
Since when?
10
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:26,341
Since this new
thing called always?
11
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:28,027
It never struck you as odd
12
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:31,129
that you lived there for 10 years
and never paid a dime in rent?
13
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,442
I just thought it was because
I banged the landlord's wife
14
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,550
when she dropped off the key.
15
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,731
But I realize now
I was mistaken.
16
00:00:37,755 --> 00:00:40,022
Aw! What a scary
new feeling for you.
17
00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,535
Not as scary as having to live
18
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:44,526
in Casa de Addams
Family with you two!
19
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:47,596
Ugh! No, I'm just working
here, not moving in.
20
00:00:47,665 --> 00:00:50,882
I was smart enough to put
my apartment in Ron's name.
21
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,352
We all could've hidden our
assets if you'd warned us
22
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,620
we were about to be
arrested for treason!
23
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,308
Oh, for the love... How long are
you going to throw that in my face?
24
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:00,975
Probably at least
through the weekend.
25
00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:02,989
Well, then you'll have
to throw it from Miami.
26
00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:04,913
Wait, no, why? What's in...
27
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:06,616
[BEEPING]
28
00:01:08,018 --> 00:01:09,368
Miami.
29
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:12,582
Besides 90% of all mosquitoes
and Cubans on earth?
30
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,872
That sounds high.
31
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,441
A buyer for 20
kilos of our cocaine.
32
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,777
Okay, now you sound high.
33
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,578
[HORN BLOWING] [ALL GROANING]
34
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:21,747
[PAM LAUGHS]
35
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,975
And what did I say
about that horn?
36
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,445
Oh. You were serious?
37
00:01:25,469 --> 00:01:26,885
Did I not look serious?
38
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,519
Well, maybe she couldn't tell,
39
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,488
because you seemed
pretty serious just now
40
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,018
when you said you
set up a drug deal.
41
00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:34,109
How else are we
supposed to sell it?
42
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,905
It's not like we can
have a yard sale.
43
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,075
Yeah, Lana. Hello,
people would steal it.
44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,233
I realize we can't
have a yard sale.
45
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,543
Plus it's illegal.
46
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,053
My point
47
00:01:45,121 --> 00:01:49,123
is how did you, Malory,
possibly set up a major drug deal?
48
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,837
Oh, don't worry about that.
49
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,510
Kind of feel like I should.
50
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,607
Just worry about not
screwing up this deal,
51
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:58,266
because if all goes well, my
contact's people may buy the rest.
52
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,112
And the sooner
we sell this cocaine,
53
00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:02,215
the sooner we'll
all be set for life.
54
00:02:02,239 --> 00:02:06,341
And the sooner we can move out of
this enormous Gilded Age mansion.
55
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:08,688
Which... Where the
hell is Woodhouse?
56
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,877
In the pool.
57
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:11,186
WOODHOUSE: Hello?
58
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,232
I've finished!
59
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,279
Jesus Christ, how long
does it take him to move in?
60
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,314
And so, the sooner
you go to Miami...
61
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,255
Oh. I'm sorry, let
me eat 40 pounds
62
00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:22,174
of coke-filled
rubbers and we're off.
63
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,608
Don't be ridiculous.
64
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,510
Hello, pregnant?
65
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:29,197
Dr. Krieger has devised a way to
transport the cocaine undetected.
66
00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,066
Oh. You were serious?
67
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:32,985
God damn it!
68
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,520
Sometimes it's
hard to tell with you!
69
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,489
And since Carol
insists on keeping
70
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,674
Ms. Gillette here
as a voice coach...
71
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:40,759
[PIANO PLAYING]
72
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:45,196
♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti ♪
73
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,600
No, no, no, no! Again!
74
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,335
[IN LOW PITCH] ♪ Do... ♪
75
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,215
And also since he's crippled.
76
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,950
And also since he's crippled.
77
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,251
Pam... [HORN BLOWING]
78
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,692
[ALL GROANING]
79
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,771
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
Will be going with you.
80
00:02:58,795 --> 00:03:01,046
Kind of like the third
Musketeer, huh?
81
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,349
Kind of.
82
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:08,020
ARCHER: Hey, Pam, relax, breathe,
you're doing fine. [PAM PANTING]
83
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:11,622
But since that special
"plaster" in your cast
84
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,602
can totally be absorbed
through the skin,
85
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,928
you're probably gonna want
to try to minimize the sweating.
86
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,031
Yeah, just think cool thoughts.
87
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,433
Like eating mint
chocolate chip ice cream
88
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:25,637
in your refrigerated drawer...
89
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,239
At the morgue.
90
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,606
[WHIMPERING]
91
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,960
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
92
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,182
CHERYL: ♪ Do, re, mi, fa... ♪
93
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,134
RAY: No! Again!
94
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,654
My God, how I envy the deaf.
95
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,474
I hope you're a better
lawyer than she is a singer.
96
00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:21,754
Uh, I'd have to
be. And I will be,
97
00:04:21,778 --> 00:04:23,856
I'm pretty darn excited
to be practicing law again.
98
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,492
I mean, hopefully I won't have
to defend anybody in court...
99
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,750
But there's always a
district attorney to blackmail,
100
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:30,952
a witness to coerce,
a judge to bribe.
101
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,420
Bribe with what?
102
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,700
The government seized the ISIS
accounts, [CHUCKLES] we're broke.
103
00:04:34,724 --> 00:04:36,241
Hopefully not for long.
104
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,710
And when that drug
money starts pouring in,
105
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,179
you'll be in charge
of laundering.
106
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,713
Hmm.
107
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,693
I'll start looking for a
Laundromat. What?
108
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,517
Money laundering, you ass!
109
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,320
Oh, you mean as a front,
110
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:52,290
because a Laundromat
is a cash-based business.
111
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:55,844
Why don't I just leave that whole
side of the organization to you?
112
00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:59,175
Only if you promise to
periodically micromanage it
113
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,565
and emasculate me.
114
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,917
Cyril,
115
00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:04,185
I would have thought
that goes without saying.
116
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,267
ARCHER: Ugh! It
smells like a skunk ape!
117
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:11,738
Yeah, I'm hoping the
mattresses are just mildewy,
118
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,623
and not mildewy and
dead-hookery. [CREAKING]
119
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,213
No, not the room. These.
120
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,227
PAM: Casts smell bad
when you take them off.
121
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,694
It's a thing people know about!
122
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:21,302
Yeah, after six
weeks, not six hours!
123
00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:22,849
So, listen, about this deal...
124
00:05:22,873 --> 00:05:23,873
Hang on.
125
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,708
Pam, chop, chop, torso!
126
00:05:26,777 --> 00:05:30,412
Ugh! This smells like a kennel,
but for dogs that are poor.
127
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,874
Archer! What? Smell it.
128
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,465
Shut up, look.
129
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,429
Your mother's got the time in
here, the place, price per kilo.
130
00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:40,155
But there's nothing about her
contact, no picture, not even a name.
131
00:05:40,224 --> 00:05:42,724
What if this person
is really a biker gang?
132
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:45,377
Who gives a shit? Hang on. Legs!
133
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,111
Lana, you and I, more me,
134
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,025
were two of the best
secret agents in the world...
135
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,142
We were rogues.
136
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,000
Potato, puh-treason, whatever.
137
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:55,587
But we've been up against
terrorists, assassins, the KGB,
138
00:05:55,655 --> 00:06:00,725
the IRA, remember, North
Korea, cyborgs, uh, help me out.
139
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,043
Uh, space pirates?
140
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:05,079
Oh, my God, I forgot
about the space pirates!
141
00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:07,949
But the point is we are
highly trained covert operatives
142
00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:11,953
with an extremely dangerous
set of skills. Pam, legs!
143
00:06:12,022 --> 00:06:15,089
And since the government has
unjustly accused us of treason,
144
00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:17,259
we are now forced
to transfer those skills
145
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:18,793
from espionage
146
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,162
to criminal activity.
147
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,547
Kind of like The
A-Team, but we sell drugs.
148
00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:24,260
And you're okay with that?
149
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,399
Are you not?
150
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,969
Lana, it's The A-Team
meets Scarface!
151
00:06:28,038 --> 00:06:30,004
That makes me, uh...
152
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:31,184
Hannibal Montana?
153
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:32,885
What the... Pam? PAM: Huh?
154
00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:35,910
God damn it, tell
me you're not... Pam!
155
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,028
[THUMPING]
156
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,441
[PAM GRUNTING] [ARCHER GRUNTING]
157
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,832
ARCHER: Stop eating it, damn it!
158
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,802
Pam?
159
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,504
Archer? PAM: He's okay!
160
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,341
He's okay, don't come in here,
don't come in here, he's okay!
161
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,758
Oh, shit.
162
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,993
[PAM GRUNTING]
163
00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:54,228
What, I said don't come in here!
164
00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:02,937
Ugh! No, Leon!
165
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,931
LANA: No, I'm
honestly not judging you.
166
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,033
Really, so this super-judgy
feeling I'm feeling
167
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,471
is just me feeling like you're
super-judgy and that's me?
168
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,540
So, um, are you
hearing your words?
169
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,442
[LAUGHS] Are you shitting me?
170
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,345
I can't hear anything over my...
171
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:31,349
To beat! [LAUGHING]
You're fired back up!
172
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,483
Boop!
173
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,046
It's just we're, like, two days
174
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,548
into this whole
drug cartel thing,
175
00:07:35,572 --> 00:07:37,989
and you're already
addicted to cocaine.
176
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,790
Oh! Oh! Oh!
177
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,677
Okay, so I should take life
advice from an unwed mother?
178
00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:47,949
With a dirty car?
179
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,376
PAM: Is he dead?
180
00:07:58,445 --> 00:07:59,685
LANA: No.
181
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,713
He looks dead. He's not.
182
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,560
I think he's dead. Pam!
183
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,850
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
184
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:06,996
[ARCHER GROANING]
185
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,664
PAM: Is he a zombie? LANA: Pam!
186
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,822
Sterling? Sterling,
can you hear me?
187
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,074
ARCHER: Ramon?
188
00:08:13,143 --> 00:08:15,776
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
189
00:08:15,845 --> 00:08:17,712
You two know each other?
190
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:20,732
Shut your hole, am I dying?
191
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:21,921
No, amigo.
192
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,736
But I'm so cold.
193
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,270
Oh! Um...
194
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,433
She insisted.
195
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:29,190
So we could unfreeze
you in the future,
196
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:32,310
once medical science had
developed a cure for head smash.
197
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,478
And you...
198
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:34,624
[SIGHS] Acquiesced.
199
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,198
She's all coke-strong.
200
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,467
So, yes, I am your
mother's contact.
201
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,764
After Fidel's hit
men tried to kill me...
202
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,955
Ugh, Charles and
Rudi, those dicks.
203
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,200
I wonder what
ever happened to...
204
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,725
Anyway, I go into hiding,
205
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,571
change my name,
buy this business
206
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,606
with some little money
I borrow from Mama...
207
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,096
Hey, how is your mother?
208
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:55,099
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
209
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,212
[CHERYL SINGS OFF TUNE]
210
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,313
[GUNSHOTS] [GLASS BREAKING]
211
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,904
CHERYL: Jesus!
All right, already!
212
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,206
MALORY: Thank you.
213
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,907
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
214
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,888
So, she telephone me, ask if
I know some maybe people,
215
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,557
I say yes, I know
some maybe people,
216
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,013
and here we are.
217
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,444
And, sorry, you're getting
out of this maybe what?
218
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,268
Lana! He's helping
a dear friend!
219
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:15,737
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
220
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,906
And also how you
say, a finder's fee?
221
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,775
Five thousand a kilo. Oh.
222
00:09:20,844 --> 00:09:23,511
Because I want
to buy that place.
223
00:09:23,579 --> 00:09:24,657
PAM: Oh, man! ARCHER: Awesome.
224
00:09:24,681 --> 00:09:27,615
Nice, eh? Is the
best club in Miami.
225
00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:29,817
Uh, duh! You need investors?
226
00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:30,985
Archer, what're you...
227
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,698
Lana, we're gonna
need an office in Miami,
228
00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:35,723
and that office is gonna need
to be a red leather banquette!
229
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,393
Dios mio, that
would be increible!
230
00:09:38,462 --> 00:09:40,472
You and me, together at last.
231
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:45,432
[LAUGHS] Implying that you two
haven't ever, cough, been together, or...
232
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,201
It was a mission, Lana!
233
00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:50,082
Ramon's Latino, so he's
comfortable expressing affection!
234
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:51,951
It doesn't make him
gay! Although I am.
235
00:09:51,975 --> 00:09:53,636
So go ahead, Lana, judge away!
236
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,293
PAM: Right?
237
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,596
Pam, shut up. And Archer, you
know better. I don't care about that.
238
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,799
What I do care about are
these buyers of yours, Ramon.
239
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,818
Who are they? Just some guys.
240
00:10:03,887 --> 00:10:06,282
We'll go see them, they're
cool, don't worry about it.
241
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,672
Kind of feel like I should.
242
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,775
Lana, Ramon vouches
for them, I vouch for him,
243
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,288
and you're embarrassing me.
244
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,627
I am? [PAM SNEEZES]
245
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:17,882
That's flour, by the way.
246
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,800
I know.
247
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,187
CHERYL: Don't you
think I know that?
248
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,790
[GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION] I
know it's bad, I'm not ear-crippled!
249
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,226
[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, then maybe being a...
250
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:31,729
Not a. The number one country
music singer in all of America
251
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,009
and some of Canada!
252
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,500
Well, what if maybe
that goal's not realistic?
253
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,136
Or even unlaughable?
254
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,320
[GASPING]
255
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,888
Get out!
256
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:42,423
ARCHER: Wait, seriously?
257
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,876
Yes, they were
very clear, no guns.
258
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,606
But... I gave mi palabra.
259
00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:47,995
Right, sorry. Archer.
260
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,264
Lana, he gave his palabra!
261
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:54,034
[SIGHS] If anything goes wrong,
I'm holding you responsible.
262
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:55,736
Yeah, that'll teach me.
263
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,646
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
264
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,576
Hmm. Tough day, huh?
265
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,545
The high point
was getting shot at.
266
00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:05,113
It's so weird.
267
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:07,421
I mean, she's a billionaire,
she could be anything,
268
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,595
a world traveler,
an art collector...
269
00:11:09,619 --> 00:11:11,953
A transatlantic
goddamn balloonist!
270
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:15,234
So, why does she want to
be a country singer so badly?
271
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,668
Besides being clinically insane.
272
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:17,725
Yeah.
273
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:19,593
Here's to the crazy ones.
274
00:11:20,797 --> 00:11:21,829
[GULPING]
275
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,058
Um...
276
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:27,067
[RAMON EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH]
277
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:28,197
RAMON: That stinks!
278
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,587
It's not that bad!
279
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,656
[SNIFFING]
280
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,058
I mean, it's not great, but...
281
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,159
[GRUNTING]
282
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,771
This is still some primo shit.
283
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,796
Pam! Quit eating all
the goddamn cocaine!
284
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,349
CHARLES: Yeah, save
some for us, bitches!
285
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:42,816
ARCHER: Charles and Rudi?
286
00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:44,335
LANA: Wait, the hit men?
287
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,498
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
288
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:46,565
It's okay!
289
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:48,489
Yeah, we're like
BFF's now. What?
290
00:11:48,558 --> 00:11:49,901
Well... Or whatever.
291
00:11:49,925 --> 00:11:53,071
Here's your fondue set, and
was there only one blue fork?
292
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:54,411
What the hell?
293
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,458
And how is that tone
necessary? Thank you.
294
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,559
[CHUCKLES] It's a fork.
295
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,999
And there were
two of each color,
296
00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:00,635
and you know this as well as me
297
00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:02,554
because we stood in
my kitchen and counted.
298
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:05,689
Oh! Well, then I
apologize, and I'll be happy
299
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:08,292
to throw in another $5.
300
00:12:08,345 --> 00:12:10,244
$80. For a fork?
301
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,380
You can't buy
only one blue fork!
302
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:13,558
You have to buy the whole set!
303
00:12:13,582 --> 00:12:14,742
Oh! That is... Okay.
304
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:17,296
That's... Okay, okay,
you know what? Fine.
305
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,964
We'll call it $1
million and $80!
306
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,922
Well, there is a
small problem there.
307
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,791
We agreed on 50 grand
a kilo! And 50 times 20...
308
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:27,528
I think we're probably a
little closer to 19 and a half.
309
00:12:27,597 --> 00:12:30,064
Okay, a couple Q's,
I'd love some A's.
310
00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:32,099
One, what the
hell is that thing?
311
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,569
Uh, we made a body
cast out of the coke.
312
00:12:34,637 --> 00:12:36,918
But I tested it, it's very pure.
313
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,934
Hmm. Okay. Two, how can you eat
314
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,520
a pound of cocaine
and not be dead?
315
00:12:40,544 --> 00:12:43,645
I've actually never felt better!
316
00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:45,424
I hope that lasts.
Oh, I'm sure it will.
317
00:12:45,448 --> 00:12:47,081
Okay, here's the
dilly and the sweets.
318
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:49,417
We're gonna round that
down to 19 kilos even,
319
00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:50,579
so I'll just take back 50 grand.
320
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,136
Way to go, Pam.
321
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,199
And since the coke's in the
shape of a Poppin' Fresh costume
322
00:12:54,223 --> 00:12:56,285
and taint sweaty, I'm
taking off another 50.
323
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,442
The hell you are!
324
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:59,255
Can I finish? Can I finish?
325
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,024
Since Ramon gave his word that
you people wouldn't bring any guns...
326
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,566
Hey, we didn't, not
even my underwear gun.
327
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,000
I gave mi palabra.
328
00:13:06,069 --> 00:13:08,969
Well, that is just
terrific, because,
329
00:13:10,273 --> 00:13:11,883
you dum-dums,
we're gonna go ahead
330
00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:13,485
and take the cocaine
and the money.
331
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:15,142
God damn it.
332
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:19,179
And so, right about here is the
part where I hold you responsible.
333
00:13:19,249 --> 00:13:20,726
Oh, my God, the burden.
334
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,094
[WHISPERING] Make sure
you take the fondue set...
335
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:23,250
Can I finish?
336
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:24,819
And I'll take the fondue set
337
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,288
because you were a
total B-hole about the fork.
338
00:13:27,357 --> 00:13:29,824
It's not even real Le Creuset.
339
00:13:31,328 --> 00:13:32,505
Right? Of course it's real.
340
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:33,961
Ramon?
341
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,524
Just because it's from the
outlet store doesn't mean...
342
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,893
Ramon! What?
343
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,884
Sterling, are you angry with me?
344
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,353
Wait, you don't
think this is my fault?
345
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,664
Sterling, please! This is loco!
346
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:57,568
No, Ramon, getting my stolen
money back isn't loco, it's...
347
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,314
Wait, what's the
word for rational?
348
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,305
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
349
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,025
God damn it. What was
loco was trusting you!
350
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,871
[GASPS] How can you say that?
351
00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:07,595
To Ramon, of all people!
352
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,564
Look, I don't know what kind of
history you two have together, but...
353
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:13,634
History? What're
you trying to...
354
00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:16,104
That's crazy, we
didn't even kiss!
355
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:20,874
Do you even hear
how crazy you sound?
356
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:21,993
Do you?
357
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,594
I don't know, yes, shut up.
358
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,898
Ramon, I'm sorry, but this
whole thing is kind of your fault,
359
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,166
so you're taking us to
wherever Charles and Rudi
360
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,869
are having a money
fight with our million bucks.
361
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,856
[CLICKS] A million and 80.
362
00:14:34,924 --> 00:14:36,924
All right, uno rampageeo!
363
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:38,092
Okay, Lana...
364
00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:40,261
Votes we cut our
losses and go home,
365
00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:43,131
while reminding you,
seemingly unnecessarily,
366
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:44,398
that she is pregnant.
367
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,627
Oh, my God.
368
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,830
How long are you gonna
use that for an excuse?
369
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,854
Probably at least
through childbirth.
370
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:51,623
[GROANS]
371
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:54,592
Oh. You were serious?
372
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,462
All right, I'm going
home, but... [SNORING]
373
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:58,679
What's her problem?
374
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,481
Uh... Scotch.
375
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:03,762
And also maybe
post-traumatic stress disorder
376
00:15:03,786 --> 00:15:04,930
from listening to...
377
00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:06,670
[CHERYL SINGING]
378
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,888
Carol?
379
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,958
Yep, yep, yep!
380
00:15:11,027 --> 00:15:12,459
But how is that possible?
381
00:15:12,529 --> 00:15:14,090
I've got the whole
house wired up.
382
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:18,816
Bedrooms, bathrooms,
bathrooms, other bathrooms,
383
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,251
oh, the swimming pool.
384
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,452
Help!
385
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,554
I meant, ass... Ow!
386
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,723
How is she singing so well?
387
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,138
Probably because she
doesn't know anyone's watching.
388
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,763
You'd be amazed what you people
do when you think you're alone.
389
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:33,976
Cyril. What?
390
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,266
Damn it, Krieger, you...
391
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,712
Ow! Turn it up!
392
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,703
[INCREASES VOLUME]
393
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,223
ARCHER: Oh, my God. This is
exactly how I pictured their house.
394
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:47,145
Oh, wait until you see inside,
Dios mio, they just redid the kitchen.
395
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,113
[LANA CLEARS THROAT OVER RADIO]
396
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,109
ARCHER OVER RADIO: What,
just because you have no taste?
397
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:53,328
LANA OVER RADIO: Or patience, so if
you could hurry up and get our money...
398
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,552
PAM: And cocaine
and cocaine, get the...
399
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,021
[GROANS]
400
00:15:57,073 --> 00:15:58,605
[IMITATING GUN FIRING]
401
00:15:58,674 --> 00:15:59,873
Oh, my God. Lana, Lana,
402
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,862
you know what I could
totally go for right now?
403
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:04,490
Some cocaine? Right?
404
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:06,146
[IMITATING GUN FIRING]
405
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,199
Did I tell you?
406
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,418
Here, give me your gun.
407
00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:12,019
Now push that
button, right there.
408
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,635
[GASPING] This is
the best kitchen ever!
409
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:18,609
Oh, mercy, thank you...
410
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,022
You know, if we
could go back in time,
411
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,696
there's a few
things we'd change.
412
00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:23,291
God damn it. But
overall, we're pretty happy.
413
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,249
Even though it's
gonna be a bitch
414
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,151
to scrub your brains
out of the grout.
415
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,786
Charles, por favor!
416
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,966
You have your cocaine,
just give them their money!
417
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,624
Okay, sure, we've
got it right here.
418
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:36,727
Oh, great, yes,
and we've got about
419
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,230
a five-hour flight
home with Pam...
420
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,798
[IMITATING GUN FIRING]
421
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,466
Cocaine.
422
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,385
So can you throw
in a pound of coke?
423
00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:47,437
[LAUGHING] Can
I? I totally insist!
424
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,673
Oh. So, you're being facetious.
425
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,675
Extremely, yes.
426
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:52,776
[LAUGHING]
427
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,273
A, the coke is gone. What?
428
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:55,537
What do you mean, gone?
429
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,410
Oh, it's not gone, gone,
just you-know-who has it.
430
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,468
What, Ramon? Who
is you-know-who?
431
00:17:00,537 --> 00:17:02,331
Uh... You still get your cut,
432
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,605
'cause you-know-who says
good job on you-know-what!
433
00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:07,074
What? [SPEAKING SPANISH]
434
00:17:07,143 --> 00:17:08,325
Ramon!
435
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,626
[GROANS]
436
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,424
[GASPING]
437
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:12,688
[GUNSHOTS]
438
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,299
[GROANS]
439
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,934
Ramon!
440
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,404
Sterling. Dios mio,
441
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:23,056
I'm sorry.
442
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,971
Sorry, baby, sorry, baby, sorry,
baby, sorry, baby, sorry, baby.
443
00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:28,362
PAM: Lana! Get cocaine!
444
00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:29,596
[RAMON COUGHING]
445
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:33,217
Oh, Sterling, I'm so cold.
446
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,702
What, like hearted?
447
00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:37,371
Ramon, what the hell,
was this all a scam, or...
448
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,225
No, no, I swear, it's
just muy complicado.
449
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:44,161
I am sorry, I cannot
explain right now.
450
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:47,648
Oh, really? Why, because
you're... [COUGHING]
451
00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:50,117
Dying, right, sorry.
452
00:17:50,186 --> 00:17:53,237
Take the money. God
knows you've earned it.
453
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,872
All I ask is one small favor.
454
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,225
[COUGHING]
455
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,294
[GASPS] Before I die...
456
00:18:00,363 --> 00:18:03,447
Yes, Ramon, I'll do anything!
457
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,716
You name it, kid,
savings bond, a puppy,
458
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,318
breastfeed you senseless,
459
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,387
just forgive me for
what's about to happen.
460
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,495
[INHALES DEEPLY]
461
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,630
LANA: So, um, quick question.
462
00:18:21,650 --> 00:18:23,462
MALORY: Why the hell
were you kissing him?
463
00:18:23,486 --> 00:18:25,030
LANA: With what
appeared to be tongue.
464
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:28,589
Because it was muy
complicado, Lana!
465
00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:30,825
And the last wish
of a dying man!
466
00:18:30,894 --> 00:18:32,454
Who you had a crush on.
467
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:33,610
No, I...
468
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,346
Just go smoke some menthols!
469
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,481
All right, Sterling, calm down.
470
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,400
My God, it's not as if I care.
471
00:18:39,468 --> 00:18:40,468
As long...
472
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,080
As long as I brought
back the money!
473
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,465
Is that what you were
going to say? Yes.
474
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,022
And I don't have time for this,
475
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,224
I have a country
music star to manage.
476
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,426
CHERYL: Says you!
477
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,127
Says your contract, missy!
478
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,679
Read it! You read it!
479
00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:56,216
God damn it.
480
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:59,353
And, I'm sorry, but the
money is where, exactly?
481
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:01,772
Um... In your
masturbators, you idiot.
482
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,490
Oh, [CHUCKLES] I'm the idiot?
483
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,259
I mean, historically.
484
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:08,746
Well, I'm not the one who sold 20
kilos of coke for Monopoly money!
485
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,080
What?
486
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,950
[LAUGHING] It's
counterfeit! Every last bill!
487
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,129
No! No way.
488
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,552
Son of a...
489
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:19,156
Sterling, you fool, was
this all just a huge set-up?
490
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,954
For what, Mother, a
funeral? They're all dead!
491
00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:25,462
Yeah, but are they?
492
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,326
We got out of there in a
hurry. [SIRENS WAILING]
493
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:29,867
[SOBBING] Ramon!
494
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:31,168
Will you come on?
495
00:19:32,622 --> 00:19:35,956
But the gunshots, all the blood.
496
00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:38,225
LANA: Blood packs and blanks.
497
00:19:38,294 --> 00:19:39,677
ARCHER: Even Ramon?
498
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,695
LANA: Especially Ramon.
499
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,265
I bet the whole
thing was his idea.
500
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,651
Aha! You're forgetting a
key piece of the puzzle, Lana!
501
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,688
They'd already stolen our
coke, and they had the money!
502
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,174
Why go to the trouble
of a fake shootout?
503
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,005
CHARLES: See what I'm saying?
504
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,997
But this way, we have 20 kilos of
pure, uncut, Colombian cocaine.
505
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,666
Holy shit, yes!
506
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,435
Which we had already stolen,
so we still would've had it!
507
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,772
Plus the counterfeit million
dollars, which now we don't have!
508
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,768
Like, 50 times I
tried to explain this!
509
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,809
Hmm. Yes, I see now
what you are saying.
510
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:17,147
Ta-da! Jesus, it's like trying
to explain particle physics to
511
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,336
a particle.
512
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,150
Aha! But this way, my way,
513
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,018
Archer thinks we are dead.
514
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,927
So he will never think to
come looking for us again!
515
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,059
It was still a stupid,
516
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:32,363
stupid, stupid,
517
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:36,700
stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid plan.