1
00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:04,666
Dick, I am telling you,
you need a vest!
2
00:00:04,691 --> 00:00:05,863
I'm wearing a vest.
3
00:00:05,888 --> 00:00:08,322
Yeah, but it's wool.
You need Kevlar.
4
00:00:09,875 --> 00:00:11,268
I'm just going
to the office.
5
00:00:11,347 --> 00:00:14,249
Yeah. The office where you
work with your ex-fiancee.
6
00:00:14,337 --> 00:00:17,411
You remember her.. the
bitter woman who wants you dead.
7
00:00:17,865 --> 00:00:20,578
Look, Mary's had
an entire night to sleep on it.
8
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,721
Besides, deep down
she loves me.
9
00:00:22,808 --> 00:00:25,440
And I said I was sorry.
What more could she ask for?
10
00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:30,211
Dick, I am
practically a woman, Ok?
11
00:00:31,523 --> 00:00:33,198
I basically know
how women feel,
12
00:00:33,223 --> 00:00:35,713
and she's gonna want a
whole lot more than "I'm sorry."
13
00:00:35,877 --> 00:00:36,857
So you
have a choice.
14
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:37,928
The vest or me.
15
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:43,225
Oh, fine.
You carry my lunchbox.
16
00:00:44,042 --> 00:00:46,924
Don't bruise my banana.
17
00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:00,213
Clear!
18
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,707
You see, Sally, there's
nothing to be concerned about.
19
00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:05,017
You've got to get..
20
00:01:06,322 --> 00:01:07,647
Oh, my God!
21
00:01:07,757 --> 00:01:09,197
Mr. Potato man!
22
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,532
Who would
do such a thing?
23
00:01:12,389 --> 00:01:13,522
Hello, Dick.
Oh, Sally.
24
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:14,871
How could you
do this?
25
00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,045
I was mad at you,
26
00:01:17,066 --> 00:01:19,347
and I guess I took it out
on a perfectly innocent...
27
00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:20,673
plastic potato.
28
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,791
Be glad
it wasn't your butt.
29
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,514
Why can't you
just drop this?
30
00:01:27,626 --> 00:01:29,940
Fine. I got engaged to you and
didn't tell you I had a wife.
31
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,405
I said I was sorry.
32
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,097
It made me feel terrible,
33
00:01:34,122 --> 00:01:36,077
but I've stopped
beating myself up about it.
34
00:01:36,102 --> 00:01:37,460
Well, that makes
one of you.
35
00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:40,276
It's Ok, Nina.
Nothing to worry about.
36
00:01:40,414 --> 00:01:41,934
I'm over it.
I'm an adult.
37
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:43,006
I'm moving on.
38
00:01:43,214 --> 00:01:44,803
In fact, Sally,
I'm glad you're here.
39
00:01:44,828 --> 00:01:47,518
I have my yoga class
tonight and Judith can't make it.
40
00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:48,905
I have a groin pull.
41
00:01:50,983 --> 00:01:52,349
I'd like you to join me.
42
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:53,150
Why?
43
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:54,954
Because I'm an Adult,
44
00:01:55,154 --> 00:01:57,427
and what Dick did does
not affect our friendship.
45
00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,765
Don and I are going to the
Rutherford renaissance fair tonight.
46
00:01:59,789 --> 00:02:00,597
Oh, no, you're not.
47
00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:02,232
You're canceling your
plans and going with Mary.
48
00:02:02,284 --> 00:02:03,645
There's no way
I'm gonna do..
49
00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:05,397
Fine!
50
00:02:05,422 --> 00:02:06,703
Thank you.
51
00:02:08,988 --> 00:02:10,523
There, you see?
I can be an Adult, too.
52
00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:12,452
I'm sure you can.
53
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,131
That's why I'm going to
continue to allow you to use my office.
54
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:16,899
Your office?
It's our office.
55
00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:18,820
Check the door, Dick!
56
00:02:18,845 --> 00:02:19,943
It's my office!
57
00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:22,049
Always was,
always will be!
58
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,969
But I say
that just to let you know.
59
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:27,498
I don't stress it.
I just gloss over it.
60
00:02:27,823 --> 00:02:29,671
See? Adult.
61
00:02:36,038 --> 00:02:37,657
Nina, I want my name
painted on this door,
62
00:02:37,706 --> 00:02:41,107
and I want it twice the size
of hers.. 3 times the size!
63
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:44,865
I'm going to be the biggest
adult in this whole stupid office!
64
00:03:24,516 --> 00:03:25,408
Solomon!
65
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,138
You got a guitar,
right?
66
00:03:27,399 --> 00:03:27,877
No.
67
00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:28,512
Yes, you do.
68
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,106
You any good?
69
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:30,798
No not really.
70
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:31,436
Yes, you are.
71
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:33,991
We're forming
a new band.
72
00:03:34,309 --> 00:03:34,836
A new band?
73
00:03:34,861 --> 00:03:37,261
Well, what happened
to state of contusion?
74
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:39,258
Creative differences.
75
00:03:39,363 --> 00:03:40,599
Now we're
Whiskey Kitten.
76
00:03:41,672 --> 00:03:43,341
And you're
our lead guitarist.
77
00:03:43,447 --> 00:03:45,309
I've always wanted
to date a guy in a band.
78
00:03:45,657 --> 00:03:48,666
And that's exactly why
I'm joining this band.
79
00:03:49,143 --> 00:03:50,551
That's the spirit,
Solomon.
80
00:03:50,704 --> 00:03:52,429
Rehearsal tonight.
Your place.
81
00:03:59,014 --> 00:04:00,619
Can I be your roadie?
82
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,183
Can I?
83
00:04:02,303 --> 00:04:04,644
So you want to lug around
heavy equipment for us
84
00:04:04,669 --> 00:04:06,046
while we treat you
like dirt?
85
00:04:06,503 --> 00:04:07,065
Yeah.
86
00:04:09,035 --> 00:04:11,998
Plus I get my pick of
the less attractive women.
87
00:04:17,311 --> 00:04:18,009
Sally!
88
00:04:18,561 --> 00:04:20,002
Shall we go, Milady?
89
00:04:20,082 --> 00:04:21,453
I'm sorry, Don, I'm
running late for something!
90
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,215
I'll call you later.
Bye-Bye!
91
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:24,399
Don't forget
to tell Mary
92
00:04:24,424 --> 00:04:26,986
that I'm roller-skating
with supermodels!
93
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:29,996
What the hell
was that?
94
00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:33,148
She just made me look
like a complete jackass.
95
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:35,897
Ah...
96
00:04:37,149 --> 00:04:38,536
Women.
97
00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:39,841
I hear you, my friend.
98
00:04:39,938 --> 00:04:40,532
A woman may say
99
00:04:40,557 --> 00:04:42,350
that she wants a man
to be obedient and nice,
100
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:43,484
but does she
really want that?
101
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,000
Yes, she does.
102
00:04:45,824 --> 00:04:46,370
No, she doesn't,
103
00:04:46,395 --> 00:04:48,704
because then she'll
just walk all over you.
104
00:04:48,953 --> 00:04:50,093
Amen to that, my friend.
105
00:04:51,338 --> 00:04:52,290
Women are maddening.
106
00:04:52,322 --> 00:04:54,242
They pretend
to be so adult,
107
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:55,618
but just like that,
108
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:58,589
they'll sink all the way down to your level.
109
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,201
Tell me, my friend,
110
00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:03,411
is that fair?
111
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,515
Yes, it is.
112
00:05:05,791 --> 00:05:06,728
No, it's not.
113
00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,514
Let me ask you something,
my friend.
114
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,710
Do you want Sally
to want you more than ever?
115
00:05:10,856 --> 00:05:11,870
No, he doesn't.
116
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:13,549
Yes, I do.
117
00:05:13,672 --> 00:05:15,087
This just
isn't my day.
118
00:05:16,509 --> 00:05:18,734
Well then you've got
to show her who's boss.
119
00:05:18,928 --> 00:05:19,751
Lay down the law.
120
00:05:20,005 --> 00:05:21,303
You think?
I know.
121
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:22,566
Be firm, my friend.
122
00:05:22,964 --> 00:05:23,864
Power!
123
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,715
It's the only language
women understand.
124
00:05:26,855 --> 00:05:28,962
You show Sally who
wears the pants, my friend.
125
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:29,984
That's the way.
126
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:33,044
Thank you, my friends.
127
00:05:33,818 --> 00:05:34,910
You're right!
128
00:05:35,409 --> 00:05:37,267
I wear the pants!
129
00:05:43,287 --> 00:05:44,664
And inhale...
130
00:05:45,657 --> 00:05:47,523
and exhale.
131
00:05:48,368 --> 00:05:49,776
Isn't this
great exercise?
132
00:05:51,245 --> 00:05:52,488
Yeah. I haven't had
this hard a workout
133
00:05:52,513 --> 00:05:54,282
since the last time
I went breathing.
134
00:05:55,993 --> 00:05:58,462
Well, that's it, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
135
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:02,708
Doesn't it make you
feel taller?
136
00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:09,102
Oh, god. I knew that
dweeb was lookin' over here.
137
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:11,100
Here comes
the old pickup.
138
00:06:11,241 --> 00:06:11,753
Excuse me.
139
00:06:13,076 --> 00:06:14,230
I hope this
isn't being rude..
140
00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:15,548
just get it over with.
141
00:06:15,614 --> 00:06:18,672
I was just wondering,
is your friend attached?
142
00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:20,370
Look, I'm not..
143
00:06:24,512 --> 00:06:25,092
Her?
144
00:06:25,234 --> 00:06:27,567
Mm-hmm. Could I interest you in some coffee?
145
00:06:27,662 --> 00:06:29,165
Oh, no, thank you.
146
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:31,820
I'm sorry,
but did you see me?
147
00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:35,597
Yes, yes. And you did
just fine for a beginner.
148
00:06:35,622 --> 00:06:36,701
Are you sure?
149
00:06:36,847 --> 00:06:38,018
Oh, positive.
150
00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:39,804
Thanks.
151
00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:41,748
Well..look at me.
152
00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:44,425
Me!
153
00:06:48,276 --> 00:06:51,118
Dr. Albright!
Dr. Albright!
154
00:06:51,198 --> 00:06:52,554
You got something
from the White House!
155
00:06:52,644 --> 00:06:54,244
What?!
Open it!
156
00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:55,499
Open it!
157
00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:57,380
"Dear Dr. Mary Albright,
158
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,902
"in recognition
of your achievements
159
00:06:58,927 --> 00:07:01,019
"in the field of
undergraduate education,
160
00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:02,727
"you are hereby invited
to the President's dinner
161
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:05,289
honoring
academic excellence."
162
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:07,886
Oh, my god.
163
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:08,940
"Enclosed itinerary..."
164
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:11,342
"Cherry Tree inn
on the Potomac.
165
00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:12,569
"Looking forward
to meeting you,
166
00:07:12,594 --> 00:07:14,996
"sincerely,
Bill and Hillary Rodham..
167
00:07:16,162 --> 00:07:17,539
potato head."
168
00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:28,241
Very funny.
I'm sorry.
169
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:30,603
I'm sorry!
I just had to!
170
00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:34,025
This was stupid
and childish.
171
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,511
I know. But we're
even now, right?
172
00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,189
Oh, yeah.
Live that fantasy.
173
00:07:38,214 --> 00:07:38,729
Did you see....
174
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,324
I got a work order
to paint the door.
175
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,523
Ohh! Oh, yes. Right.
176
00:07:43,817 --> 00:07:44,772
Yeah, right here.
177
00:07:45,113 --> 00:07:46,070
Right over this name.
178
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,714
And bigger! And bolder!
179
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:49,328
So when one
approaches the door,
180
00:07:49,353 --> 00:07:51,955
a mere glance will
establish just who's who...
181
00:07:52,408 --> 00:07:53,558
in this office.
182
00:07:54,664 --> 00:07:56,742
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
183
00:07:57,163 --> 00:07:59,336
Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!
184
00:08:00,014 --> 00:08:01,753
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no. No.
185
00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:03,800
Oh, he'd be very upset.
186
00:08:04,058 --> 00:08:04,880
Oh ho ho.
187
00:08:05,086 --> 00:08:07,231
This says "Dick Solomon."
188
00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:08,684
He gets that a lot.
189
00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:09,906
It's Dick...
190
00:08:10,391 --> 00:08:13,657
S-A-L-M-O-N.
191
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:16,462
Salmon.
192
00:08:17,019 --> 00:08:20,573
You know, like the big, pink, stinky fish.
193
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:30,492
All right,
194
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,461
let's rock.
195
00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,861
Drummer:
1, 2, 3, 4!
196
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,526
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What are you doing?
197
00:08:42,994 --> 00:08:43,630
Playing.
198
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,942
Come on, man.
We're a speed metal band.
199
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:48,258
No, we're not.
We're a def metal band.
200
00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,732
It's not about labels, Ok?
It's about the music.
201
00:08:50,885 --> 00:08:53,145
About that music, um,
how many songs do we have?
202
00:08:53,247 --> 00:08:54,098
Just the one.
203
00:08:54,169 --> 00:08:55,545
We need
more than one song.
204
00:08:55,594 --> 00:08:57,433
This isn't about
counting songs, Solomon.
205
00:08:57,528 --> 00:08:58,868
This is about the music.
206
00:08:59,113 --> 00:09:00,270
Well, as far as
I'm concerned,
207
00:09:00,295 --> 00:09:01,806
it's about
impressing August alright?..
208
00:09:01,831 --> 00:09:03,159
and one song
ain't gonna cut it.
209
00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:05,330
Hey, man, if you're true to the music,
210
00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:06,461
Women,
they can sense it.
211
00:09:06,486 --> 00:09:09,321
Well, if the women can count, we're screwed.
212
00:09:10,492 --> 00:09:11,581
Let's rock.
213
00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:20,278
♪ "Woman" ♪
214
00:09:21,637 --> 00:09:22,626
♪ "Woman" ♪
215
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,316
Whooooo!
216
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,925
Ooooohhh!
217
00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:28,255
♪ "Woman" ♪
218
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,112
I'm sorry.
219
00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:40,407
Hey, Matthew?
220
00:09:42,271 --> 00:09:44,017
Matthew!
221
00:09:45,368 --> 00:09:46,425
Yes.
222
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,281
You..you look
really nice today.
223
00:09:50,143 --> 00:09:51,956
Is there a problem?
'Cause I'm really busy.
224
00:09:51,981 --> 00:09:54,117
Yeah. I think
I pulled my butt muscle!
225
00:09:55,843 --> 00:09:58,476
Let me see if I can go
run down a nurse for you.
226
00:09:59,853 --> 00:10:00,781
Damn!
227
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,629
Hi. Are you from
the Swedish motor place?
228
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,433
Sí. I am Swedish.
229
00:10:10,219 --> 00:10:13,005
Yeah. It's the red Volvo,
um, over there.
230
00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:16,900
When I change gears,
it makes a grinding noise.
231
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:17,659
Is a grinding?
232
00:10:17,871 --> 00:10:19,372
Yeah! Is a grinding.
233
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,935
Ah! Recognition
at last.
234
00:10:23,035 --> 00:10:25,939
Now all who pass through the
hallowed gates of huff hall
235
00:10:25,964 --> 00:10:28,296
will know that this office is occupied
236
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:30,661
by Dr. Dick Salmon.
237
00:10:41,319 --> 00:10:44,777
Cuando el car
changes las gears,
238
00:10:44,802 --> 00:10:45,890
uh, no es bueno.
239
00:10:46,258 --> 00:10:47,570
Uh, it makes A...
240
00:10:53,682 --> 00:10:54,055
What?
241
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,008
Allow me, Mary.
242
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:15,102
Oh, great.
243
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,426
Thank you very much,
Dick.
244
00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:35,680
The time has come
to lay down the law.
245
00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:39,652
If you're not ready to
give this relationship 110%...
246
00:11:40,553 --> 00:11:43,380
then maybe we should
start seeing other people.
247
00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:46,643
Don! I can't believe
you're saying this.
248
00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:48,133
Well, I am.
249
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,707
If it turns out there's
somebody that we want,
250
00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:53,107
we should be free
to just move on.
251
00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:56,225
Don, it's like
you can read my mind!
252
00:11:56,836 --> 00:11:57,424
It is?
253
00:11:57,456 --> 00:12:00,022
Yeah. You see, there's
this guy I met..Matthew..
254
00:12:00,047 --> 00:12:02,955
and I gotta level with you.
I want him bad!
255
00:12:04,472 --> 00:12:05,153
You do?
256
00:12:05,468 --> 00:12:06,058
Well...
257
00:12:06,749 --> 00:12:07,447
good.
258
00:12:07,773 --> 00:12:10,050
No need wasting precious
seconds pining over Don.
259
00:12:10,082 --> 00:12:11,299
Exactly!
260
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,297
Oh, Don, you really
understand me.
261
00:12:14,322 --> 00:12:16,147
I mean,
you know what I need
262
00:12:16,363 --> 00:12:17,722
and you tell me
to go for it.
263
00:12:17,762 --> 00:12:18,699
It's like...
264
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:21,543
you're the best friend
a gal like me could have.
265
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,710
Sally, would you
do me a favour?
266
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:24,837
Absolutely.
267
00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:27,191
Hold on to my gun.
268
00:12:33,479 --> 00:12:34,791
[Music drowns out
conversation]
269
00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:36,506
Get me some parsley!
270
00:12:39,116 --> 00:12:40,620
No. Parsley!
271
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,163
No, not pepper!
Parsley!
272
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:45,904
This is pepper!
273
00:12:45,929 --> 00:12:47,242
Parsley!
Pepper!
274
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,032
Turn it down!
275
00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:56,752
This rock and roll
music has got to stop!
276
00:12:57,179 --> 00:12:57,966
Why?
277
00:12:58,252 --> 00:12:59,500
Because it's loud!
278
00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:00,760
And rhythmic!
279
00:13:00,886 --> 00:13:02,661
And rhythm
can lead to dancing.
280
00:13:02,686 --> 00:13:05,568
Rock and roll music
preaches a gospel
281
00:13:05,896 --> 00:13:08,436
of easy sexuality
and relaxed morality,
282
00:13:08,461 --> 00:13:10,493
and I will not
endorse an enterprise
283
00:13:10,518 --> 00:13:12,567
which is
as fraught with peril
284
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,473
as I believe
this one to be!
285
00:13:19,647 --> 00:13:22,134
So, you resent us
for being young
286
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,261
and living in a world
full of carnal possibilities
287
00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:25,983
which you can't
possibly enjoy.
288
00:13:28,052 --> 00:13:28,678
Yes!
289
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,888
Now knock it off!
290
00:13:31,579 --> 00:13:32,968
Ah, don't listen
to him, boys.
291
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,687
I love rock and roll.
292
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:38,163
I used to be a groupie
for the Kingston trio.
293
00:13:38,196 --> 00:13:40,515
Ok. I'm sorry, but
you're going to have to go.
294
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,043
I had an all-access pass.
295
00:13:43,918 --> 00:13:46,800
As a matter of fact,
so did they.
296
00:13:51,015 --> 00:13:53,962
Dr. Solomon, come on,
enough with the practical jokes.
297
00:13:53,987 --> 00:13:56,741
But, Nina, there's nothing
practical about this joke.
298
00:13:57,071 --> 00:14:00,031
It's an utterly pointless,
hurtful, and asinine waste of time.
299
00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:02,820
You sure you don't
want this furniture?
300
00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:04,088
Absolutely not.
301
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:06,141
As a student of
the ancient Chinese art
302
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,630
of feng shui,
303
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,616
I can assure you that the
spiritual harmony of this room
304
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,849
was upset by having
that bitch sitting there.
305
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:18,775
Thanks for coming over
on such short notice, Don.
306
00:14:18,981 --> 00:14:21,473
I knew you'd call, Sally.
It was just a matter of time.
307
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:23,354
I need you, Don.
I need you bad.
308
00:14:23,568 --> 00:14:24,687
Well, you're lucky
I was available.
309
00:14:24,712 --> 00:14:27,374
You know, I got a lot
on my plate right now.
310
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,817
You know,
my..my lady plate.
311
00:14:31,993 --> 00:14:33,173
Listen, you can
do something for me
312
00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:34,451
that nobody else
can do.
313
00:14:34,772 --> 00:14:36,101
I know I can, baby.
314
00:14:38,052 --> 00:14:40,123
But if you expect me to
come crawling back to you now,
315
00:14:40,148 --> 00:14:41,527
you got
another think coming.
316
00:14:41,578 --> 00:14:42,980
Oh, no, I don't
want that at all.
317
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,604
Are you sure? 'Cause I can
crawl like a bat out of hell.
318
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:47,723
Oh, no.
319
00:14:48,166 --> 00:14:49,422
Thanks, sweetie,
but what I need from you
320
00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:50,800
is a background check
on Matthew.
321
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,266
Who is he?
What are his weaknesses?
322
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,406
How can I cut him out of
the herd and bring him down?
323
00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:57,930
Why bother when you have
a sick, hobbled wildebeest
324
00:14:57,955 --> 00:14:59,843
right in
your own front yard?
325
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,216
Hey, Tommy.
326
00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,360
How's the band?
327
00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:09,359
Well, uh, we've avoided
the trap of over-rehearsing,
328
00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:12,648
which can be a problem, you know
, when you've only got one song.
329
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,606
I wrote a song.
330
00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:16,244
Did you?
331
00:15:16,384 --> 00:15:21,860
Picture window paints my mind ♪
332
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:32,010
♪A black horizon's
valentine ♪
333
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:35,940
rock and roll, baby!
334
00:15:44,918 --> 00:15:46,231
Mary?
335
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:49,154
Dick.
336
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,094
Your desk was gone
when I got here.
337
00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:54,169
I believe you.
338
00:15:54,306 --> 00:15:56,259
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
339
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,281
It was me!
340
00:15:57,306 --> 00:15:59,708
I had them
take away your desk! Me!
341
00:16:01,601 --> 00:16:02,785
This has got to stop.
342
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:05,090
Oh, you just want to quit
'cause you can't win.
343
00:16:05,311 --> 00:16:07,295
Oh, my poor defeated Mary.
344
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,729
You're just outmatched,
that's all.
345
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,622
But it takes
a big woman to admit that.
346
00:16:11,647 --> 00:16:13,540
And just to show
there are no hard feelings,
347
00:16:13,565 --> 00:16:14,652
I'm going to..
348
00:16:21,008 --> 00:16:22,801
Oh my arm is stuck.
349
00:16:23,874 --> 00:16:25,795
That's strange.
So is this one.
350
00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:28,126
It's almost as if
there was glue on my desk.
351
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,727
Dick, don't be ridiculous,
352
00:16:29,752 --> 00:16:31,234
it couldn't be glue.
353
00:16:31,731 --> 00:16:34,192
It must be thermal bond
epoxy.
354
00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:35,177
No!
355
00:16:38,092 --> 00:16:38,520
Uhhhh!
356
00:16:38,545 --> 00:16:38,933
Uhh!
357
00:16:39,296 --> 00:16:39,822
Ohh!
358
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,366
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
359
00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:46,637
Mistake.
360
00:16:46,777 --> 00:16:48,152
Huge mistake.
361
00:16:49,353 --> 00:16:50,029
Oh, thanks.
362
00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:51,180
Oh, wait a second.
363
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,187
That's better.
364
00:16:59,017 --> 00:16:59,703
Ohh!
365
00:17:00,063 --> 00:17:00,825
You came!
366
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,446
How could I refuse?
367
00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:04,502
Well, what was it
that convinced you?
368
00:17:04,626 --> 00:17:06,680
The flowers?
The radio dedications?
369
00:17:06,705 --> 00:17:08,337
The skywriting?
370
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,068
You hired
a skywriter.
371
00:17:10,248 --> 00:17:11,690
Well, he was more
of a crop duster,
372
00:17:11,715 --> 00:17:15,152
but he wrote "Sally" over your
house with diopropylene, so...
373
00:17:16,175 --> 00:17:17,872
That explains the vomiting.
374
00:17:19,149 --> 00:17:20,013
Look, I've
got to tell you,
375
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:22,164
I have never had
a woman work so hard
376
00:17:22,189 --> 00:17:23,629
to get my attention.
377
00:17:23,946 --> 00:17:24,751
It's flattering.
378
00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:26,909
Meaning...you want
to go out with me?
379
00:17:26,943 --> 00:17:27,838
Sure.
380
00:17:28,156 --> 00:17:29,314
Yes!
381
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,154
Ah ha!
382
00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:32,049
I got you.
383
00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:33,037
You got me.
384
00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:33,910
Ha!
385
00:17:34,534 --> 00:17:35,347
Ohh ho ho !
386
00:17:43,825 --> 00:17:44,843
Well, now what?
387
00:17:46,468 --> 00:17:48,376
Ok, I was thinking you
could start off in jeans,
388
00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:52,180
but then you could change into
vintage tuxedos between songs.
389
00:17:52,495 --> 00:17:54,066
Between songs?
390
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,493
We only
have one song!
391
00:17:57,226 --> 00:17:59,588
Well, you could change
during the drum solo.
392
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:02,624
The song problem
is over, Tommy.
393
00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:04,594
I wrote 4 new songs
last night.
394
00:18:05,024 --> 00:18:07,875
Excuse me, but since
when are you in this band?
395
00:18:08,076 --> 00:18:09,494
Tommy, tell them.
396
00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:11,938
Tell them what?
You're not in the band.
397
00:18:12,212 --> 00:18:13,313
Well, if
that's how you feel,
398
00:18:13,647 --> 00:18:14,899
I quit the band.
399
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:17,471
Well, maybe you should
rephrase that to acknowledge the fact
400
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:21,609
that you were never in this
pathetic, non-performing band!
401
00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:23,263
You know, that is it,
Solomon.
402
00:18:23,288 --> 00:18:25,593
Your attitude is just
tearing this band apart.
403
00:18:26,028 --> 00:18:27,396
You're out of the band!
404
00:18:27,421 --> 00:18:28,961
I never wanted
to be in the band!
405
00:18:29,286 --> 00:18:31,142
I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to go.
406
00:18:31,182 --> 00:18:31,745
What?
407
00:18:32,976 --> 00:18:33,380
Harry!
408
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:36,313
We'll send you a t-shirt.
409
00:18:39,015 --> 00:18:41,559
When I look at you, I
wonder, what took me so long to..
410
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:42,459
uh-huh.
411
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:45,612
I mean, you're beautiful, you're sexy...
412
00:18:46,061 --> 00:18:46,989
Uh-huh.
413
00:18:52,995 --> 00:18:53,859
Uhhh! Uhhh!
414
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:54,844
Ow!
415
00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:55,470
Yeow!
416
00:18:55,495 --> 00:18:55,869
Ow!
417
00:18:55,894 --> 00:18:57,975
Oh, Dick,
I'm so embarrassed.
418
00:18:58,255 --> 00:18:59,981
When we broke up,
I was so mad at you,
419
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,852
but now I've just made it
worse by acting like a child.
420
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:04,090
Truce?
421
00:19:04,162 --> 00:19:04,884
Truce.
422
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,325
Great. Now we can go back
to acting like adults.
423
00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:08,207
Yes, Mary.
424
00:19:09,002 --> 00:19:09,830
Adults.
425
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:17,578
Mary, it appears your Volvo
is back from the shop.
426
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,224
What?!
427
00:19:22,466 --> 00:19:23,387
Damn!
428
00:19:24,187 --> 00:19:27,196
Hee hee hee ha ha ha!
429
00:19:31,863 --> 00:19:32,413
Women.
430
00:19:32,788 --> 00:19:33,267
Women.
431
00:19:33,876 --> 00:19:34,843
Women.
432
00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:36,176
♪ Women! ♪
433
00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:39,740
You can't live with 'em,
434
00:19:39,765 --> 00:19:41,822
and you can't have
heterosexual sex without 'em.
435
00:19:43,866 --> 00:19:45,187
That's probably true.
436
00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,330
Well, I'm outta here.
437
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,563
When Sally shows up
with Mr. Yoga,
438
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:54,208
I'm liable to go medieval
on his ass.
439
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,738
Bye, Don.
440
00:19:57,815 --> 00:20:00,088
What can you do? You do
things your way, they're not happy.
441
00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:01,664
You do things their way,
they're still not happy.
442
00:20:01,689 --> 00:20:04,729
When are we gonna learn
you can't deal with women?
443
00:20:05,014 --> 00:20:08,356
The female feigns weakness
only to use it as a weapon.
444
00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:10,857
It's like the
praying mantis. Yeah.
445
00:20:11,062 --> 00:20:13,494
She acts so fragile
and willowy,
446
00:20:13,581 --> 00:20:14,765
but when
the male approaches,
447
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:17,512
she sprays poisonous mucus from her eyelids,
448
00:20:17,878 --> 00:20:20,151
and he bursts
into flames.
449
00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:23,037
Praying mantises
don't do that.
450
00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:26,422
So what?
The analogy stands.
451
00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:29,504
You can't negotiate
with them, Tommy.
452
00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:31,148
You gotta give
as good as you get.
453
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:32,425
Now,
Mary found that out.
454
00:20:32,591 --> 00:20:33,185
Oh, yeah.
455
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:35,535
The hard way.
456
00:20:36,712 --> 00:20:37,509
Why are there
office supplies
457
00:20:37,534 --> 00:20:39,485
stuck to the side
of your head?
458
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,413
That's where
I keep them.
459
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,580
1, 2, 3, 4!
460
00:20:51,039 --> 00:20:52,031
"Women"!
461
00:20:52,056 --> 00:20:55,257
Whoooo-hooo!
462
00:20:59,955 --> 00:21:00,850
Hey!
463
00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:05,672
What are you doing?!
464
00:21:05,976 --> 00:21:07,321
That's my dad's guitar!
465
00:21:07,636 --> 00:21:08,948
He's gonna kill me!
466
00:21:11,112 --> 00:21:13,544
I guess I'm gonna
have to go.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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