1
00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:06,438
Nina, I still
don't get it.
2
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,440
Which one is baby spice?
3
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:11,042
Oh, she's the one
that goes like this.
4
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,013
I thought that
was scary spice.
5
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:16,848
No. Scary spice,
she's all,
6
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,116
"wha!
7
00:00:18,117 --> 00:00:19,383
Ssss!"
8
00:00:19,384 --> 00:00:20,218
Mary!
9
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:21,686
No. Because, see--
10
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:22,654
daddy!
11
00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:23,655
Hey, magpie.
12
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,190
Ha ha ha! Oh...
13
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,191
oh.
14
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,692
What a nice surprise!
15
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:30,461
Well, not really.
I've left your mother.
16
00:00:30,462 --> 00:00:32,064
Again?
17
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,131
Oh, I'm so sorry.
18
00:00:33,132 --> 00:00:34,833
Let me give you two
some time alone.
19
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,368
Oh, that's not necessary.
20
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,737
They do this every year.
21
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:42,007
I know. I just can't bear
to hear it again. Buh-bye.
22
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:45,444
So how long is this fight going to last?
23
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,011
Oh, this
was a bad one, Mary.
24
00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:49,013
I broke her
sound of music box.
25
00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:50,081
Oh, no!
26
00:00:50,082 --> 00:00:51,249
Yep.
27
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,251
Your mother and I are through!
28
00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:55,253
45 years down the toilet.
29
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:57,421
You still got that hide-a-bed
in the living room?
30
00:00:57,422 --> 00:00:58,723
Yes.
31
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:01,393
And you don't mind
sleeping on it?
32
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,461
Not really. No.
33
00:01:03,462 --> 00:01:04,762
Good morning, Mary.
34
00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:05,864
Oh, good morning,
Dick.
35
00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,098
Good morning, Dick.
36
00:01:07,099 --> 00:01:08,165
Good morning, George.
37
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:10,569
Aah!
What?
38
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,705
If he's here, that means
the other one's here, too,
39
00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:16,141
and--and she scares me.
40
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,543
No, Dick.
Daddy's here alone.
41
00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,278
[Whispering]
He left Mother.
42
00:01:20,279 --> 00:01:21,012
Oh...
43
00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:22,913
finally.
44
00:02:01,019 --> 00:02:02,053
[Doorbell rings]
45
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:03,487
I'll get it!
46
00:02:06,391 --> 00:02:07,391
Hello, Solomons.
47
00:02:07,392 --> 00:02:08,827
Hello, George!
48
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,995
Uh, this
is my brother Harry.
49
00:02:10,996 --> 00:02:12,496
Charmed, I'm sure.
50
00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:15,166
And this
is my son Tommy.
51
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,867
Hey, there, sport!
52
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:18,236
Hey!
Cut it out!
53
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,538
He started it!
54
00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:22,073
It's all right.
55
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,409
I left myself wide open.
56
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:25,576
Come on in.
57
00:02:25,577 --> 00:02:26,611
All right, then.
58
00:02:26,612 --> 00:02:27,979
I'm sorry.
Hi. I'm Sally.
59
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,415
Hi. Let me take
your coat, young lady.
60
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,416
Oh, thank you.
61
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,884
You know...
62
00:02:33,885 --> 00:02:37,288
you remind me of a gal
named Betty grable,
63
00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,790
but I bet she
was before your time.
64
00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:43,594
Yeah, I've only been here
a couple years.
65
00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:44,929
Sit down and let me
fix you a drink.
66
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,464
Great. I'll have a beer.
67
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:47,932
A beer?
68
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,034
A beer's no drink
for a lady.
69
00:02:50,035 --> 00:02:52,170
Let me make you
a lady's drink.
70
00:02:53,238 --> 00:02:54,305
Yeah.
71
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:57,909
A lady's drink.
72
00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:05,883
I like this scotch.
73
00:03:05,884 --> 00:03:08,219
Yeah. So does
everybody else.
74
00:03:09,554 --> 00:03:11,956
So tell me about Normandy
again, George.
75
00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:15,059
Oh, you just can't hear
enough about the big one, can ya?
76
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,194
No.
77
00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:18,863
I love war.
78
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:23,401
Oh, I mean, I hate war, but I
love hearing about the killing.
79
00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:27,805
You know, I once killed a
Nazi with my bare hands.
80
00:03:27,806 --> 00:03:29,240
Oh, please!
81
00:03:31,176 --> 00:03:32,610
So, how did it happen?
82
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:35,213
Well, I was asleep in
this burned-out church
83
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:36,580
in the French
countryside.
84
00:03:36,581 --> 00:03:38,049
And he tripped,
and you choked him,
85
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:39,351
and I think
it's getting late.
86
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:40,352
Dick!
87
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,519
Huh?
88
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,687
Oh!
89
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:44,222
Oh, Mary!
90
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,957
Oh, thank god
you're here!
91
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,792
I had a terrible dream.
92
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:50,094
Your father was there...
93
00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:51,262
and--
94
00:03:51,263 --> 00:03:55,266
and he was telling all
these boring war stories.
95
00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:58,236
I couldn't keep
my eyes open!
96
00:04:01,773 --> 00:04:03,208
Hello, George.
97
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:05,109
Chop-chop, everyone!
Time to go!
98
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:08,946
Oh, cool,
I'm still kinda drunk.
99
00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:12,783
Hey, there's
no hair on my chest.
100
00:04:12,784 --> 00:04:14,385
Thank you, Mary.
101
00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:15,886
George, it was
a wonderful evening,
102
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:18,089
but I'm afraid we've
got to be off. Sally!
103
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,457
Really? So soon?
104
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:23,361
I didn't even get a chance to
tell Sally about my discharge.
105
00:04:23,362 --> 00:04:26,030
That's not
appropriate, dad!
106
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,368
From the air force!
107
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:31,803
Oh.
108
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:33,504
Well, hey...
109
00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:37,408
why don't you take Sally to the
Rutherford air and space museum tomorrow.
110
00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:38,910
You can tell her
all about it.
111
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:42,747
Hey, but I thought we were
gonna have lunch tomorrow, magpie.
112
00:04:42,748 --> 00:04:44,181
Oh, that's Ok.
113
00:04:44,182 --> 00:04:45,950
Well, I'd love to go.
114
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:49,186
They've got a perfectly
reconstructed p-38 lightning.
115
00:04:49,187 --> 00:04:52,423
Could we get it and
pretend we're bombing cities?
116
00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:54,025
I'll slip the guard
a fiver.
117
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,594
Oh, you are awesome!
118
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:11,376
Hey, Tommy,
do you like egg salad?
119
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,378
'Cause I like egg salad.
120
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,580
Harry, if you eat Dick's
lunch before we find him,
121
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,681
then we have no reason
to find Dick.
122
00:05:17,682 --> 00:05:19,350
That's a load off.
123
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,553
Ooh, look!
124
00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:25,356
An exhibit on the early days of radio.
125
00:05:25,357 --> 00:05:28,859
No. This is just the
college's cruddy old radio station.
126
00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:31,663
No. I'm pretty sure
that guy's animatronic.
127
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:37,568
Hey, Eddie.
128
00:05:37,569 --> 00:05:39,070
Are you the D.J.?
129
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:41,505
Huh? No. He left
for spring break.
130
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:42,907
What? You mean
there is no D.J.?
131
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:45,242
Well, isn't that kind
of cheating people?
132
00:05:45,243 --> 00:05:47,178
This is, like, 8 watts, man.
133
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:50,414
I mean, how many people
is that, like...
134
00:05:50,415 --> 00:05:52,349
8?
135
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:53,651
Oh! Eddie!
136
00:05:53,652 --> 00:05:55,419
Can I be your D.J.?
137
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,288
Uh, I don't know.
138
00:05:57,289 --> 00:05:59,623
Do you have any experience?
139
00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:00,725
Why, yes, I do!
140
00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:06,864
Yes. I was in charge of the
morning drive time zoo crew team
141
00:06:06,865 --> 00:06:09,300
at wlmnop.
142
00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:12,203
I can work the knobs
perfect.
143
00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:13,871
Oh, knock yourselves out.
144
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:15,706
All right!
Ooh!
145
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:17,575
Oh, uh, just...
146
00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:18,710
don't curse...
147
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,377
and don't spill Nothin',
148
00:06:20,378 --> 00:06:22,947
and if ya spill somethin',
149
00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:24,048
don't curse.
150
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,256
Oh, wait--
wait a second.
151
00:06:32,257 --> 00:06:33,257
Whoa! Whoa!
152
00:06:33,258 --> 00:06:34,392
What do I say?
153
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:37,495
In 4...3...2...
154
00:06:37,496 --> 00:06:38,896
good morning,
Rutherford.
155
00:06:38,897 --> 00:06:41,265
I'm Harry Solomon.
156
00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:44,702
It's 10:52 in the A.M.
Here at wpdl.
157
00:06:44,703 --> 00:06:46,203
It's a sunny day,
158
00:06:46,204 --> 00:06:50,040
and I've got a sunny way
to play.
159
00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:51,876
Here's one
of my favorites,
160
00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:54,011
and I hope
it's one of yours.
161
00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:57,147
See if you
recognize this one.
162
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,620
Put the tape in.
163
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:04,855
I don't know how.
164
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:09,260
Welcome to talk radio,
people.
165
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,931
Vroooom!
166
00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:16,767
Rat-a-tat-tat-
tat-Tat-tat!
167
00:07:16,768 --> 00:07:19,537
Oh, how was the air
and space museum?
168
00:07:19,538 --> 00:07:20,804
It was terrific!
169
00:07:20,805 --> 00:07:22,207
I had the best time!
170
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,574
Ooh!
171
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:25,943
So, you sure you don't
mind me taking the Lincoln?
172
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:26,877
Not at all.
173
00:07:26,878 --> 00:07:28,612
You run your errands
in style.
174
00:07:28,613 --> 00:07:29,546
Thanks.
175
00:07:29,547 --> 00:07:30,547
I'm gonna pick up
that Ella Fitzgerald Cd.
176
00:07:30,548 --> 00:07:31,883
Oh, you're
gonna love it!
177
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:35,753
Oh, I know I will '
cause you know what I like.
178
00:07:35,754 --> 00:07:38,689
Oh, isn't she sweet?
179
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:41,225
You know, muffin,
if I didn't know better,
180
00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:44,962
I'd say that little gal
really likes me.
181
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:49,033
Well, of course she does.
You're wonderful.
182
00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:52,603
No. I mean
she really likes me.
183
00:07:52,604 --> 00:07:54,271
Oh, please.
184
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:56,607
She didn't want to
leave the air museum.
185
00:07:56,608 --> 00:08:02,680
Well, obviously, she has some
perverse interest in old war relics.
186
00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:06,517
In my opinion, if dogs
were meant to be on leashes,
187
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:09,853
they would have been
born with them.
188
00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:12,856
And don't give me
that tired, old argument
189
00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:16,293
that their tails
are leashes.
190
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:18,596
Ok, let's check in
with the traffic
191
00:08:18,597 --> 00:08:20,931
with our good buddy
Tommy g!
192
00:08:20,932 --> 00:08:22,299
Thank you very much.
193
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,369
Well, uh...there's a truck
out there, and now it's gone.
194
00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:26,637
Back to you, Harry!
195
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,708
Let's be careful out there, people!
196
00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:33,677
Ooh, hey, we got an in-studio guest:
197
00:08:33,678 --> 00:08:36,481
miss
Nina Campbell!
198
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:37,047
Hey, you guys, I turned on the
radio, and I couldn't believe it!
199
00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:38,649
This is so great!
200
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:42,420
Yeah. I wanna send some shouts out
to Steven and bobby and Clarisse--
201
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,388
ooh! And Reggie and shy girl
and little b and--
202
00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:46,490
no. This is my show.
203
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:49,026
Ooh, we've got a caller on line 1.
204
00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,461
Go ahead, caller.
205
00:08:50,462 --> 00:08:54,632
Yeah. I totally disagree with
you on that whole leash law thing.
206
00:08:54,633 --> 00:08:56,000
Oh...
207
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:01,372
well, that's too bad...
208
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,309
because you,
my friend, are wrong.
209
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,144
You tell him, Harry!
210
00:09:07,145 --> 00:09:08,612
Yeah! Next sound
you hear
211
00:09:08,613 --> 00:09:11,316
will be the sound of me
hangin' up on a dumb ass.
212
00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:19,857
Ok, so far you've attacked
leash laws, city council,
213
00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:22,359
and some old lady.
214
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,362
Yeah, but I'm runnin' out
of stuff to say.
215
00:09:25,363 --> 00:09:26,764
I mean, we need a guest.
216
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:28,866
Oh, you know
who you should have on?
217
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:29,833
George Albright.
218
00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:32,269
He killed a Nazi
with his bare hands.
219
00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:33,871
That's cool.
220
00:09:33,872 --> 00:09:37,074
Well, you certainly are
spending a lot of time with that man.
221
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,543
Well, why not? He's great.
222
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,378
He's not like any guy
I've ever met.
223
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,879
He's so confident.
224
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,314
I mean, look at all
the plaid he wears.
225
00:09:44,315 --> 00:09:47,584
Well, I will admit
he is jazzy.
226
00:09:47,585 --> 00:09:49,887
Oh, yeah. He's got style,
227
00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:52,389
plus he smells like spices.
228
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:54,892
Old spices.
229
00:09:54,893 --> 00:09:58,395
Dick, I finally understand
your Albright attraction.
230
00:09:58,396 --> 00:10:01,398
It must be their Dna.
They're irresistible.
231
00:10:01,399 --> 00:10:03,333
Yes! At last
I'm understood!
232
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:05,235
There's something
about them, a charm...
233
00:10:05,236 --> 00:10:06,103
a magnetism...
234
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:07,104
a strength...
235
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:08,105
a quiet force--
236
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,908
they're both
a pain in the ass.
237
00:10:10,909 --> 00:10:12,243
I don't know, you guys.
238
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,577
Do you really think
a guy like George
239
00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:15,879
would be interested
in a gal like me?
240
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:20,851
Sally, why would a guy in his 70s
want to be with a woman in her 20s?
241
00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:23,020
Oh!
242
00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:27,792
[Knock on door]
243
00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:32,763
Oh, hey, Albright,
is George here?
244
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:34,531
Oh, actually,
he just went out.
245
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:35,332
With who?
246
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:36,600
To get a paper.
247
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:37,601
Oh.
248
00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:38,602
Come in.
249
00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:39,469
Come in.
Thanks.
250
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,207
You know, Sally,
251
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:46,210
mother and dad
do this every year,
252
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:48,279
and I do not
look forward to it,
253
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,546
so thank you
for helping me out.
254
00:10:49,547 --> 00:10:52,349
Dad appreciates it.
He really does.
255
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,885
He does? He said that?
256
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:56,320
Tell me exactly
what he said, right now.
257
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:58,322
Oh! He's having a ball,
258
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:01,325
and I know it's not easy
entertaining dad all day.
259
00:11:01,326 --> 00:11:02,793
No, no. I like it.
260
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:07,064
You're so lucky.
Your dad is amazing.
261
00:11:07,065 --> 00:11:10,667
Well, I'm really glad you get
to spend some time with my dad.
262
00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:11,535
Oh, yeah.
263
00:11:11,536 --> 00:11:13,003
But I must warn you.
264
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:16,440
Sometimes he gets a little
carried away, and he gets these ideas.
265
00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:19,476
All I'm asking is that
you be gentle with him, Ok?
266
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,745
Ok. No more wrestling.
267
00:11:23,581 --> 00:11:25,282
No. I'm serious.
I won't do it again.
268
00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:31,155
Ok, Don. Thanks
for coming down.
269
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:33,223
We know how busy
you are.
270
00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:35,092
We appreciate
your time.
271
00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:36,427
Oh.
272
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:37,928
It's my pleasure.
273
00:11:37,929 --> 00:11:39,429
In fact, I think I got an
interesting story for you guys.
274
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:42,232
In 4...3...2...
275
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:43,433
and we're back!
276
00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:47,138
Well, look who dropped by to say hello.
277
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,506
Officer Don orvel.
278
00:11:49,507 --> 00:11:53,677
Or as he's known on the
streets, Madge with a badge.
279
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,581
I've got this story
for you guys.
280
00:11:57,582 --> 00:12:01,185
Yeah, so tell me,
officer bacon bits...
281
00:12:02,854 --> 00:12:05,155
when you're
working over a suspect,
282
00:12:05,156 --> 00:12:06,990
does that make you
feel like a big man?
283
00:12:06,991 --> 00:12:11,328
[Man screams on tape]
284
00:12:11,329 --> 00:12:13,898
Well, Harry, I try not
to abuse my badge,
285
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,799
which brings me to my story. It's about--
286
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,834
boring!
287
00:12:21,506 --> 00:12:23,974
So, Don, tell me,
what do you think
288
00:12:23,975 --> 00:12:26,977
about old dudes dating young, hot babes?
289
00:12:26,978 --> 00:12:28,645
Is it smart
or skanky?
290
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:33,383
I don't know. I guess
I'm down with that.
291
00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:35,219
Mm, you're down
with that?
292
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:38,455
Yeah. I am.
I'm down with that.
293
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:41,425
Yeah! He's down
with that.
294
00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:43,927
Well, would you
still be down with it
295
00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:47,931
if the young, hot babe
was, oh, say, Sally...
296
00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:51,669
and the old dude
was Albright's dad?
297
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:55,439
That I'm not down with.
298
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,776
So, Sally likes Mr. Albright.
Ha, that's messed up.
299
00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:02,380
Oh, we've got a
caller on line one.
300
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,882
You're on the air
with Harry Solomon.
301
00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:07,385
Sally: yeah,
this is, um, Thelma...
302
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,887
from Ohio.
303
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,389
It's none of your
business what I do,
304
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:13,391
and if you idiots
keep talking about me,
305
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:16,326
I'm gonna beat your faces in with
a monkey wrench when you get home.
306
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:19,697
New topic.
307
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:22,667
Michelle pfeiffer's lips.
308
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,737
Are they real?
309
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,812
Daddy?
You still up?
310
00:13:37,982 --> 00:13:38,982
Yes.
311
00:13:38,983 --> 00:13:41,485
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
312
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:43,320
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
313
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,089
Albright! Albright!
314
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:47,692
I'm being gentle.
315
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:59,169
Heads up! I'm coming
into the room!
316
00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:03,240
I can't sleep.
We have to talk.
317
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:04,608
Great.
Let's talk.
318
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:07,011
I'd like to speak to my father alone, please?
319
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,612
Oh, Ok.
Good night, sugar.
320
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:11,282
Oh, listen, um,
321
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,250
George and I want
to take you and Dick
322
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:14,685
out to dinner
tomorrow night.
323
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:17,187
Oh, goody. A double date
with my dad.
324
00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,288
Please go.
325
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:24,361
Mary, listen, I just
want you to know now
326
00:14:24,362 --> 00:14:26,396
that George and I
are together,
327
00:14:26,397 --> 00:14:29,900
and I'm not gonna try
to replace your mother,
328
00:14:29,901 --> 00:14:32,136
Ok? And I...
329
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:34,638
I just hope to become
a way better mother
330
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:37,208
and gradually turn you
against her.
331
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,911
I'm not gonna call you
mummy.
332
00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:41,879
Sally's fine. Oh!
333
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,148
Listen, I want to take
you shopping next week,
334
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,583
get you a pretty new
dress. Would you like that?
335
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:50,121
Did I tell you she's
got the hots for me?
336
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:51,589
Was I right?
337
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:54,225
Stop this foolishness
and go back to mother!
338
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,728
No! After 45 years
of pure misery,
339
00:14:57,729 --> 00:15:02,133
I finally think there's
a plan for the universe.
340
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,901
Why her?
341
00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:05,769
Well, she listens
to me.
342
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:07,271
She finds me
interesting.
343
00:15:07,272 --> 00:15:09,707
I'm crazy about her.
344
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:14,478
And that's why I think
I'm gonna give her this.
345
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:15,813
That's mother's
heirloom bracelet.
346
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:18,315
Well, Martha doesn't
wear it anymore.
347
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:22,252
I've been waiting for her
to die to get that!
348
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,156
We all have.
We all have.
349
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:37,368
Oh, yeah? Well, why don't
you come down to the station
350
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:39,870
and make me,
ya big jerk?!
351
00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:41,238
[Pow]
352
00:15:41,239 --> 00:15:44,975
Harry, she
was 8 years old.
353
00:15:46,811 --> 00:15:48,979
She just wanted to know
if it was gonna rain.
354
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:51,815
[Boom]
355
00:15:51,816 --> 00:15:54,318
You just stifle it,
little man.
356
00:15:57,155 --> 00:16:00,658
So George thinks we should
take a cold water cruise,
357
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,427
because it's far more interesting
than doing that whole island thing.
358
00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:04,728
Oh, yeah.
359
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,497
There's nothing like snuggling up on the deck
360
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,499
with your sweetie
and a hot toddy.
361
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,002
Where the hell have you been?
And don't go too far!
362
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:17,174
Would you like to dance?
363
00:16:17,175 --> 00:16:18,943
Oh, I'd love to.
364
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:21,412
Oh, whoopsie, Mary.
Let me get it.
365
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:28,385
Good double-baked
potatoes.
366
00:16:28,386 --> 00:16:29,753
Look at those two.
367
00:16:29,754 --> 00:16:30,821
Who?
368
00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:33,223
Woody and soon-yi
over there.
369
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:38,495
This world works in wonderful
and mysterious ways.
370
00:16:38,496 --> 00:16:40,764
What does that mean?
371
00:16:40,765 --> 00:16:43,700
Those two people could
be fated to fall in love,
372
00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:46,636
just when your mother was
conveniently out of the way.
373
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:52,376
Look at him dancing,
gushing all over her.
374
00:16:52,377 --> 00:16:53,877
Dancing?
375
00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:55,646
Making a fool
of himself.
376
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,147
Dancing.
377
00:16:58,216 --> 00:16:59,717
Is this mayonnaise
or horseradish?
378
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:02,720
Of course I know what
it is with Sally.
379
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,222
She's just trying to
replace the father she lost.
380
00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:07,224
Oh! Oh!
381
00:17:07,225 --> 00:17:09,727
Whatever it is,
it's hot.
382
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:12,730
Don't tell me I'm jealous, because I'm not!
383
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,665
My mouth is on fire.
384
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:18,202
That's my daddy!
385
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,471
That's my napkin!
386
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:23,574
Daddy, you want
to dance with me?
387
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:27,311
Well, sure...
kitten.
388
00:17:28,513 --> 00:17:30,180
I'll dance
with you, Sally.
389
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,216
He called her kitten!
390
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,183
I'm kitten!
391
00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:34,385
Can't you be
pumpkin?
392
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,353
I don't want
to be pumpkin!
393
00:17:36,354 --> 00:17:38,755
We're gonna have to get
some things straighten out
394
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:40,357
if she's gonna be
my mother-in-law.
395
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:42,259
But aren't you gonna
be her stepmother?
396
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:43,260
Whatever.
397
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:46,796
Excuse me.
Uh, shall we dance?
398
00:17:46,797 --> 00:17:47,698
Dad--
399
00:17:53,404 --> 00:17:54,704
no!
400
00:17:54,705 --> 00:17:57,207
Why?
401
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,976
Sally, people
are watching.
402
00:17:59,977 --> 00:18:01,077
Oh, yeah?
403
00:18:01,078 --> 00:18:02,346
Ohh!
404
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:07,818
I was dancing
with my daddy.
405
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:10,354
No! You were dancing
with my boyfriend.
406
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:13,957
He was my daddy way before
he was your boyfriend.
407
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:15,559
Listen, I think
you'd better grow up.
408
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,061
George and I
are a thing,
409
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,129
and you just better
get used to it, Missy.
410
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:22,499
Well, you just better
get used to me!
411
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,234
Is there something wrong,
kittens?
412
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:25,168
No! Nothing!
413
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:31,741
Ok. We're back.
414
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:33,877
Let's go to the phones. Who's on?
415
00:18:33,878 --> 00:18:34,945
Nobody.
416
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,514
Yeah. We haven't
had a call
417
00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:39,950
since you made fun
of that lady's dead cat.
418
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:42,353
Maybe we need a new topic.
419
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,355
Ooh, that's a good idea.
420
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:47,858
Hey! Let's go one-on-one with Nina Campbell.
421
00:18:47,859 --> 00:18:49,160
Ok.
422
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:52,529
Ok. So, Nina, how many
dates have you had lately,
423
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:53,530
like zero?
424
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,001
What?
425
00:18:58,002 --> 00:19:00,204
No, no, no! It's Ok. I think
I know what the problem is.
426
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,472
Oh, really?
427
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,540
Yeah. You're
a great big loser.
428
00:19:03,541 --> 00:19:05,809
I don't have to take this!
429
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,177
Yes, you do
'cause you're a loser.
430
00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:08,345
I'm out of here!
431
00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:10,214
Wait, Harry,
what are you doing?
432
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,216
Well, I'll tell you
what I'm not doing.
433
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:15,419
I'm not just sitting
there being a pimple rancher.
434
00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:19,723
How's the new crop
this year, teen boy?
435
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:20,724
This is over.
436
00:19:20,725 --> 00:19:22,025
I am gone!
437
00:19:22,026 --> 00:19:24,227
Oh, go! Leave!
438
00:19:24,228 --> 00:19:27,665
I don't care. I don't need any of you.
439
00:19:29,534 --> 00:19:32,736
Come baaack!
440
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:34,170
[Knock on door]
441
00:19:38,476 --> 00:19:39,409
Hey, Sally.
442
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:40,477
Hey, George.
443
00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:42,479
Listen,
we have to talk.
444
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,913
Well, come in.
445
00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:48,485
What's the matter?
446
00:19:48,486 --> 00:19:50,521
Well, um,
I've been thinking.
447
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:54,825
And, uh, I think we should
cool things off a bit.
448
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:59,430
Oh, if I had a nickel for
every secretary I've said that to.
449
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:01,765
No, no, no, I'm serious.
450
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,133
Well, why?
451
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:06,770
Well, I just-- I'm not
ready to be with somebody
452
00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:08,205
who has children.
453
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:13,010
What, Mary? She really
can take care of herself.
454
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:15,479
Oh, let's not fool
ourselves, George.
455
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,482
She's gonna be
a lot of work.
456
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:21,452
You can't just ignore her.
You know that.
457
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,520
She's old.
458
00:20:25,289 --> 00:20:27,290
This isn't easy
for me, Ok?
459
00:20:27,291 --> 00:20:31,294
I don't want to penalize you
for being a great dad.
460
00:20:31,295 --> 00:20:33,931
It's just--
I have to be selfish here.
461
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,900
I knew I should've closed
this deal the night we met.
462
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:38,134
I knew that.
463
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:41,672
I think maybe you should
go back to your wife.
464
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,574
Aw...
465
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,677
well, I usually do.
466
00:20:48,446 --> 00:20:50,814
Well, there you go.
467
00:20:52,483 --> 00:20:53,416
Bye, sugar.
468
00:20:56,988 --> 00:20:58,122
Sally.
469
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,522
Albright.
470
00:20:59,523 --> 00:21:02,692
Look. I'm sorry for the
way I acted the other night.
471
00:21:02,693 --> 00:21:04,561
Maybe we should all
talk this out.
472
00:21:04,562 --> 00:21:06,763
No. There's nothing to
talk about. Martha and I--
473
00:21:06,764 --> 00:21:08,298
I'm going back to mother.
474
00:21:08,299 --> 00:21:09,233
Really?!
475
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,734
Yeah, he is.
476
00:21:10,735 --> 00:21:13,237
And I'm sorry
if this caused
477
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,239
any friction in
your relationship.
478
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:19,076
But, Mary, I just want you to know something.
479
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:21,244
I could've had him.
480
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:36,527
She ain't lying.
481
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:39,463
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--
482
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,834
dad, are you sure you
have everything?
483
00:21:44,835 --> 00:21:45,869
Yeah.
484
00:21:48,973 --> 00:21:53,377
Mary, I wouldn't mention
this Sally thing to mother.
485
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:56,747
Gee, dad, I don't know
if I can do that.
486
00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:58,115
Here.
487
00:22:00,351 --> 00:22:02,553
My lips are sealed.