1 00:00:03,602 --> 00:00:09,107 "It's so dreadful to be poor, sighed Meg, 2 00:00:09,108 --> 00:00:11,676 "looking down at her old dress. 3 00:00:11,677 --> 00:00:15,113 "I don't think it's fair for some girls 4 00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:17,315 "to have plenty of pretty things 5 00:00:17,316 --> 00:00:19,617 "and other girls nothing at all, 6 00:00:19,618 --> 00:00:22,354 added little Amy with an injured sniff." 7 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,555 [Sniff] 8 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:26,791 Harry, do you have to be doing that right now? 9 00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:30,128 Yeah. I got a 500-word book report due for night school. 10 00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:33,498 "It's so dreadful to be poor, sighed-- 11 00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:34,799 all right, enough. 12 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,968 Listen, the key to studying 13 00:00:36,969 --> 00:00:38,903 is finding the short cuts, all right? 14 00:00:38,904 --> 00:00:40,404 Look, later we'll go out, 15 00:00:40,405 --> 00:00:41,605 we'll buy you some cliff notes. 16 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:44,142 It's like an easy little synopsis, all right? 17 00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:45,376 It'll take you 10 minutes. 18 00:00:45,377 --> 00:00:47,012 Ooh, what a relief. 19 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:48,814 I don't mind readin'. 20 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,582 It's readin' books that I hate. 21 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:54,953 Harry, why aren't you studying? 22 00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:55,853 Oh, don't worry, Dick. 23 00:00:55,854 --> 00:00:57,054 Tommy and I are going to go out later 24 00:00:57,055 --> 00:00:58,223 and just buy a book report. 25 00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,991 Ah. 26 00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:02,427 Good man. Make me proud. 27 00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:05,730 Hey, Dick, don't forget your lunch. 28 00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:06,664 Oh, no, I'm sorry. 29 00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:07,832 I'm meeting officer Don 30 00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:09,000 at the police station for lunch. 31 00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:10,602 Oh, make sure he shows you the tank. 32 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:11,670 The tank? 33 00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:13,004 Yeah, but don't get too close, 34 00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:14,673 otherwise the inmates will start hootin' and hollerin' 35 00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,474 and telling you they love ya. 36 00:01:16,475 --> 00:01:20,178 Oh. I'd better put on my new tie. 37 00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:24,983 Well, Dick, 38 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,351 this is it. 39 00:01:28,654 --> 00:01:29,521 The tank. 40 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:32,190 Oh. Oh, look at them, 41 00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:35,994 their deep-set eyes darting with evil brilliance. 42 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,762 What'd they do, Don? 43 00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:38,930 Well, that one's a loiterer, 44 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:42,600 and that guy was screaming at a fire hydrant. 45 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,070 You, fresh meat, what are you in for? 46 00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,972 Up yours. 47 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,773 Don't rile 'em up. They're bad news. 48 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:51,276 Oh, this place is so creepy, Don. 49 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,010 I knew jails had bars, 50 00:01:53,011 --> 00:01:56,281 but I didn't know they were so confining. 51 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,416 That's kind of the idea. 52 00:01:58,417 --> 00:01:59,917 Don, I can't get out. 53 00:01:59,918 --> 00:02:02,953 Don, help me. Get me out! Don! 54 00:02:02,954 --> 00:02:04,289 Dick. 55 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,057 Turn your head. 56 00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:08,059 All right, get back, get back! 57 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,868 So, if he can't pay his fine, he just-- 58 00:02:50,869 --> 00:02:52,670 well, he'll just sit there for a few days 59 00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:54,939 and think about what he's done. 60 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,143 And that'll teach him that jail is a dirty, horrible place, 61 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,811 and he'll never want to return? 62 00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:00,645 Exactly. 63 00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:02,246 In fact, this is the fifth time 64 00:03:02,247 --> 00:03:04,949 he's learned that very lesson. 65 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:07,685 The fifth time? Why does he keep coming back? 66 00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:08,953 Ah, it's just the way they are. 67 00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:11,255 Then what's the point of this place? 68 00:03:11,256 --> 00:03:13,024 It's just a revolving door, 69 00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:14,425 a hopeless hotel 70 00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:18,029 whose residents check in and out between crimes. 71 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:19,264 And you, Don, 72 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,866 you're nothing more than a bellhop with a badge. 73 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:23,134 I am not. 74 00:03:23,135 --> 00:03:25,270 Hey, can I get a clean towel 75 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,404 and a wall street journal? 76 00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:27,872 Will you shut up in there?! 77 00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:30,608 Now, listen here, Dick, 78 00:03:30,609 --> 00:03:32,177 this system is the only way we've got 79 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,411 to teach these guys a lesson. 80 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:35,680 What about giving them a little guidance? 81 00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:37,849 Uh, we don't do that here. 82 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:38,916 Well, maybe you should. 83 00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:42,153 Unlike you, I happen to have faith in the human race. 84 00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:43,188 I can take any one of these men, 85 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,289 rehabilitate him, 86 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,457 and make him a productive member of society. 87 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,625 You're mad, Solomon. 88 00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:48,559 Am I? 89 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:51,295 Come on, you, you're coming home with me. 90 00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:52,597 What are you doing? 91 00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:55,133 I'm going to pay his fine and make him whole again. 92 00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,133 As god is my witness, 93 00:03:56,134 --> 00:03:59,470 nothing will deter me from saving this man. 94 00:03:59,471 --> 00:04:01,439 Ok. His fine is $1,500. 95 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,807 Ooh. 96 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,346 How much for the skinny one? 97 00:04:08,347 --> 00:04:09,313 Uh, 750. 98 00:04:09,314 --> 00:04:11,016 And the short hair in the corner? 99 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,217 Eddie? 100 bucks. 100 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,419 Wrap him up. I'll take him. 101 00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:35,973 Well, I read in a magazine 102 00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:38,442 it was a prosthetic. 103 00:04:38,443 --> 00:04:41,946 Oh, my god, what a mess. You've been robbed. 104 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,282 No. It's just pepper acting out. 105 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,618 He hates it whenever I leave the house. 106 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,486 And you put up with it? 107 00:04:48,487 --> 00:04:52,223 Well, I don't really go out much. 108 00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,058 All this dog does is jump all over you 109 00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:55,159 and ruin your furniture. 110 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,160 Why do you keep him? 111 00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:58,396 Dick gave him to me. 112 00:04:58,397 --> 00:04:59,563 And? 113 00:04:59,564 --> 00:05:00,831 And we've broken up. 114 00:05:00,832 --> 00:05:02,299 So... 115 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:05,469 so there's no reason why I should keep this stupid dog. 116 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,604 Very good. 117 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,106 Come on, pepper. 118 00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:10,274 Let's go see daddy. 119 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:19,750 Look, I really appreciate you paying my fine 120 00:05:19,751 --> 00:05:24,289 and the soup and the 3-pack of underpants and everything, 121 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,523 but I better get going. 122 00:05:25,524 --> 00:05:27,225 No. You don't have to go anywhere. 123 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,893 You're staying here with us. 124 00:05:28,894 --> 00:05:30,161 Thanks, but you've done enough. 125 00:05:30,162 --> 00:05:31,729 That's the problem, Eddie-- 126 00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,231 No one's done enough. 127 00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:35,967 No one's ever taken responsibility for you. 128 00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,601 But I will. 129 00:05:37,602 --> 00:05:41,806 This house, Eddie... 130 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:44,843 is a house of love. 131 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,077 But be warned-- 132 00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:48,246 it is also a house of discipline. 133 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:51,783 There will be rules, yes. 134 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,351 There will be a curfew. 135 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:55,387 However, that curfew is 3 A.M., 136 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,089 So it shouldn't cramp your style. 137 00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,089 What's going on? 138 00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:00,591 Oh, Sally, I'd like you to meet Eddie, 139 00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:04,462 my plain old regular friend Eddie. 140 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:06,297 He's been in prison. 141 00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:07,732 Ok, bend over. 142 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:11,068 Sally, Sally, he's a friend. 143 00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,638 He's a guest. You will treat him with respect. 144 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:14,505 Did you find anything? 145 00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:15,907 He's clean. 146 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:18,109 Yeah. I knew he would be. 147 00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:20,078 Well, that was a complete waste of time. 148 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,846 The bookstore's out of cliff notes, 149 00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:23,615 and you spend 2 1/2 hours 150 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,884 chatting up the girl at the visor hut. 151 00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:30,188 Yeah, who had heard of the book little women. 152 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:32,022 Ok, that was helpful. 153 00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:34,892 But now I got to spend all night reading the book. 154 00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:36,160 All right, listen, here's what we'll do. 155 00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,828 We'll go to the video store, 156 00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:40,097 we'll rent little women, the motion picture, all right? 157 00:06:40,098 --> 00:06:41,699 In 2 hours you'll know the whole story. 158 00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,236 Oh, Harry, Tommy, 159 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:47,571 I'd like you to meet our new friend Eddie. 160 00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:48,573 He's a criminal. 161 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,274 Whoa. 162 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,277 Eddie, the bathroom is right in there. 163 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,712 Why don't you go take a nice hot shower 164 00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:59,050 and scrub off the stench of incarceration? 165 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,384 He means to kill us. 166 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,186 Oh, hush. How dare you?! 167 00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:04,088 This man is a human being, 168 00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:07,591 and right now he's giving me something to do. 169 00:07:07,592 --> 00:07:09,760 Dick, isn't this a major security breach? 170 00:07:09,761 --> 00:07:10,695 Oh, nonsense. 171 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,330 It's a magnificent experiment. 172 00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:16,334 I intend to prove that a nurturing family and a solid role model 173 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,169 can turn a man's life around. 174 00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:20,504 And who would that role model be? 175 00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:22,473 You're lookin' at him, sass mouth. 176 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:23,608 Mary: Dick? 177 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:26,544 Well, Mary, what are you doing here? 178 00:07:26,545 --> 00:07:27,978 Returning your dog. 179 00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,547 Well, pepper's not my dog. 180 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:30,815 He was a gift. 181 00:07:30,816 --> 00:07:32,783 Yeah. A gift I decided I don't deserve. 182 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,051 Here, you take him. 183 00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:36,754 Oh, no. I--I--I wouldn't dream of taking back 184 00:07:36,755 --> 00:07:38,322 a gift that I gave you. 185 00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:41,659 Well, you took back the stereo you gave me. 186 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:44,529 That was surroundsound, baby. 187 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,563 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 188 00:07:46,564 --> 00:07:49,934 Your lease says absolutely, positively no dogs. 189 00:07:49,935 --> 00:07:51,201 Why, are you allergic? 190 00:07:51,202 --> 00:07:52,803 No. I just get nervous. 191 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,873 You know how dogs like to dig? 192 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:58,610 I got 6 cats buried in the backyard. 193 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,878 Oh. You better make that 5. 194 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,551 Not my problem. 195 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,252 Not my dog anymore. 196 00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:09,387 We don't want him. 197 00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,221 Well, I'm not taking him back. 198 00:08:10,222 --> 00:08:11,455 Oh, naturally. 199 00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:13,357 Nobody wants to take responsibility. 200 00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:16,493 I can see that yet again, it falls upon me... 201 00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:19,597 to make Sally take responsibility. 202 00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:20,964 Oh, great. 203 00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:23,401 I can't believe I have to deal with that miserable creature. 204 00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:25,603 You're talking about me, aren't you? 205 00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:27,171 Oh, yeah. 206 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,813 You call yourself a canine? 207 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:38,816 You make me sick! 208 00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,851 Wipe that smirk off your face! 209 00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:46,457 From now on, when I say bark, you say "how loud, sir?" 210 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:49,961 Or rather bark it as if to say, "how loud, sir?" 211 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,263 Do you understand me, private tickbait? 212 00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:57,702 At ease, soldier. 213 00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:01,371 Wow. 214 00:09:01,372 --> 00:09:03,941 I think you really got through to him. 215 00:09:03,942 --> 00:09:05,509 Well, you know, you just got to show 'em who's boss. 216 00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:06,911 You lead, they follow. 217 00:09:06,912 --> 00:09:08,346 [Barking] 218 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:11,616 Oh, it's that damn squirrel again. 219 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:12,850 [Barking] 220 00:09:12,851 --> 00:09:14,485 Down, pepper! 221 00:09:17,322 --> 00:09:18,923 Wow! 222 00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:19,991 You know, Albright, it's just a matter of really-- 223 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:21,158 [Barking] 224 00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:22,860 [Glass breaking] 225 00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:25,229 [Barking] 226 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:28,466 So, uh, what do you say we just give him away? 227 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,968 Sounds good. Ok. 228 00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:38,776 Well, I hope you're enjoying your movie, Tommy. 229 00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:41,912 Hey, it is not my fault that they didn't have little women, all right? 230 00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:45,416 But look, I got the fly. 231 00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:47,418 Well, how wonderful for you. 232 00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:49,620 Meanwhile, I still haven't even finished-- 233 00:09:49,621 --> 00:09:52,256 hey. That guy's half fly. 234 00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,497 Hey, any calls for pepper yet? 235 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:00,398 No. 236 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,766 Well, I put flyers up 237 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,768 on every bulletin board on campus. 238 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,102 How did you describe him? 239 00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:07,238 Uh, big, yellow, and free. 240 00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,338 [Telephone rings] 241 00:10:08,339 --> 00:10:10,741 Yes! Ok, remember, lie your butt off. 242 00:10:10,742 --> 00:10:13,043 I am not going to lie. 243 00:10:13,044 --> 00:10:14,411 Hello. 244 00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:16,280 Yes. 245 00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,616 Well, uh, his name is pepper. 246 00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,818 He's a yellow lab. 247 00:10:20,819 --> 00:10:24,121 He's very affectionate. 248 00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:27,591 Loves people. 249 00:10:27,592 --> 00:10:29,560 Ah. Well, fair question. 250 00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:32,730 Um, I'll be perfectly honest with you. 251 00:10:32,731 --> 00:10:33,998 I'm dying. 252 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:43,240 Thank you for giving Eddie a chance, Mr. Wexler. 253 00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,475 No problem. 254 00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,610 There are just a couple of rules down here 255 00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:49,480 in the audio-visual department, Eddie. 256 00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:52,983 You start at 9:00, you get a 45-minute lunch, 257 00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:56,354 and all equipment request forms go right here. 258 00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,489 Nothing... 259 00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,157 Nothin'... 260 00:11:00,158 --> 00:11:02,660 goes out without one. 261 00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:03,494 Oh, and, uh... 262 00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:04,895 and one more rule, Eddie. 263 00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:06,864 You'll notice this equipment is clearly marked 264 00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,533 property of Pendleton university. 265 00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:09,967 It's for lending, you know. 266 00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:13,438 Not for, um-- for stealing. 267 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:16,107 Yeah. I got it. 268 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:18,242 Well, I'll leave you fellas to it. 269 00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:21,746 Oh, this is such a proud moment for me, Eddie. 270 00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:25,416 I've plucked you from your wretched life of recidivism, 271 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:28,719 given you guidance and succor, 272 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:34,825 and made you appreciate one of life's most precious gifts-- 273 00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:35,959 freedom! 274 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,138 [Ding] 275 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,706 Dinnertime! 276 00:11:54,279 --> 00:11:56,446 [Clanging] 277 00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:58,615 Dinnertime! 278 00:11:58,616 --> 00:11:59,816 You were serious? 279 00:11:59,817 --> 00:12:02,553 Yes. Now chop chop. Dinner's getting cold. 280 00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:04,722 Boy, since when do we eat together? 281 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,625 We're going to sit down and share our evening meal 282 00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:09,894 to show Eddie an example of a loving family. 283 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,962 Uh, I already ate. Sorry. 284 00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:13,564 You're going to sit down and eat again 285 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:15,633 if I have to shove the food down your throat. 286 00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,101 Now get in there! 287 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,174 Look out, he's got a knife! 288 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,908 All: oh! 289 00:12:26,778 --> 00:12:28,179 Eddie, think about this. 290 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,513 Put down the knife. 291 00:12:29,514 --> 00:12:30,581 You don't want to do this. 292 00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:33,417 I don't want to cut the chicken? 293 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,153 Not before we've said grace. 294 00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:38,655 Who's going to say grace? Tommy, how about you? Hmm? 295 00:12:38,656 --> 00:12:39,656 Grace. 296 00:12:39,657 --> 00:12:41,259 Say it. 297 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:45,762 Thank you for this second dinner. 298 00:12:45,763 --> 00:12:48,199 Sure to be an excruciating and uncomfortable-- 299 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,034 amen. Thank you, Tommy. 300 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,769 Hey. Who stole my spoon? 301 00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:59,476 Oh, no, no, no. I forgot. 302 00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:00,878 It's in my pocket. 303 00:13:02,714 --> 00:13:05,516 So, um, how was your day, Sally? 304 00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,951 What's it to you? 305 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,721 As a concerned and loving family member, 306 00:13:11,722 --> 00:13:13,824 I'm naturally interested in how your day went. 307 00:13:13,825 --> 00:13:16,894 What's it to you? 308 00:13:16,895 --> 00:13:19,162 Eddie, how was your day? 309 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:24,768 Well, I, uh, checked a few projectors out. 310 00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:28,172 And then a little while later, 311 00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:30,941 I checked them back in. 312 00:13:30,942 --> 00:13:35,980 Oh, talk about being thrown in the deep end on your first day. 313 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,682 Oh, uh, by the way, I'll be needing the, um, 314 00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:41,418 the overhead projector for my morning class tomorrow. 315 00:13:41,419 --> 00:13:43,287 I'd be happy to, but I can't. 316 00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:45,522 Professor greenwald has reserved it. 317 00:13:45,523 --> 00:13:48,992 Oh, and is professor greenwald serving you chicken? 318 00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,160 I don't think so. No. 319 00:13:50,161 --> 00:13:54,131 No, but he filled out the form. Rules is rules. 320 00:13:54,132 --> 00:13:57,068 Oh, that's funny, coming from a professional rule-breaker. 321 00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:58,903 What's that supposed to mean? 322 00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:02,740 Well, I believe it's a reference to your life of crime. 323 00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:05,709 Look. You're the one who told me to follow the rules. 324 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:06,877 What do you want from me? 325 00:14:06,878 --> 00:14:08,045 Maybe a little gratitude. 326 00:14:08,046 --> 00:14:09,346 Well, I am grateful. 327 00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:11,715 Then show it to me by giving me that projector! 328 00:14:11,716 --> 00:14:12,616 No! 329 00:14:12,617 --> 00:14:14,218 You unappreciative, two-Bit thug! 330 00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:15,719 That's it. I'm outta here! 331 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,087 That's right, run! 332 00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:19,423 That's what you're good at. Good riddance! 333 00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:24,561 We ought to do this more often. 334 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,866 [Car tires screech] 335 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:44,048 I assure you, he grows on you! 336 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,983 [Car tires screech] 337 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,057 Come on, Albright, say good-bye 338 00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:55,459 and let's get out of here already. 339 00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:58,362 So, uh, you're going to give him to somebody nice, right? 340 00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,097 Well, we'll give him to somebody. 341 00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:01,966 But not just anyone. 342 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,801 No, not anyone. 343 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:06,436 They got to come in here and have 5 bucks. 344 00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,008 He's in good hands, don't you think? 345 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:12,676 Yeah, the best. 346 00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:14,344 Yeah. 347 00:15:15,847 --> 00:15:17,147 Is Eddie back yet? 348 00:15:17,148 --> 00:15:18,482 No. I haven't seen him. 349 00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:20,450 Well, if he shows up, tell him he's forgiven 350 00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:23,053 and give him a warm supportive hug for me. 351 00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:27,224 Yeah, Dick, I'll be doing that. 352 00:15:27,225 --> 00:15:29,593 Just a second, guys. I, uh, 353 00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:31,928 left my notebook in the other room. 354 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,834 Oh, I'm in big trouble, Tommy. 355 00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:40,071 My study group's here, I haven't even finished the first chapter, 356 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,441 and for this, I blame you. 357 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:46,043 Well, then this is a golden opportunity right here. 358 00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:48,245 Just go in there, listen to what they have to say, 359 00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:49,446 and write it down. 360 00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:50,848 There's your 500 words. 361 00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:54,819 Listen. Write. Gotcha. 362 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:03,260 So, those women were pretty little, weren't they? 363 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:10,434 What are your thoughts? 364 00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:13,403 When Jo went to the city, 365 00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:16,139 my heart went with her. 366 00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:18,809 Her dreams were so pure. 367 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:22,513 Yeah, purely selfish. 368 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,714 She runs off to the city, 369 00:16:24,715 --> 00:16:26,183 leaves her sister out in the sticks 370 00:16:26,184 --> 00:16:27,751 while she partied. 371 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,187 Yeah, well, I read it differently, 372 00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:33,257 but please. Continue. 373 00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:36,193 Don't let him continue. He's stupid. 374 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:42,967 Literature is open to interpretation. 375 00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,802 Harry, it's gone! It's gone! 376 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:45,803 Whoa! What's gone? 377 00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:48,105 The rambler. It's gone. And so is Eddie! 378 00:16:48,106 --> 00:16:51,142 Oh! Someone stole the rambler and Eddie! 379 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,977 No, you idiot. Eddie stole the rambler. 380 00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:55,278 Ohhh. 381 00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:56,680 Thank god. 382 00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:01,084 You were saying? 383 00:17:04,055 --> 00:17:05,889 Ok, let me get this straight. 384 00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,391 You bailed the guy out of jail, 385 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:08,526 you brought him into your home, 386 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,028 gave him the keys to your house, to your car, 387 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,964 and now you're surprised he's stolen it. 388 00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:16,200 Oh, sure, hindsight is 20-20. 389 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,068 Uh, we would have warned you, Dick, 390 00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:19,403 but, you know, we did! 391 00:17:19,404 --> 00:17:20,738 I know you did. 392 00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,674 I was blinded by the fervor of my faith in mankind. 393 00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,976 Damn my lack of cynicism! 394 00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:26,744 Here's your man, Dick. 395 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:28,178 Oh, Don, thank god! 396 00:17:28,179 --> 00:17:30,013 Yeah, he thought he could get away with it, 397 00:17:30,014 --> 00:17:33,083 but I hunted him down like a dog. 398 00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:36,954 You bumped into me at the grocery store. 399 00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:38,589 That's hearsay. 400 00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,492 Oh, I'm disappointed, Eddie. 401 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,627 You stole my car, and you broke my heart. 402 00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,229 But do you know what's the worst thing of all? 403 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:48,031 What? You stole my car! 404 00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:49,099 Says who? 405 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,200 Do you want a taste of my taser? 406 00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:51,535 Well, then you just keep talking. 407 00:17:51,536 --> 00:17:52,870 Come on. We're going to jail. 408 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,605 Uh, not so fast. 409 00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:57,808 Eddie, I hope you've learned a valuable lesson. 410 00:17:57,809 --> 00:17:59,176 I know I have. 411 00:17:59,177 --> 00:18:03,214 I gave you my trust. I gave you every benefit of the doubt. 412 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:05,015 And how did you repay me? 413 00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:08,785 By taking advantage of my trusting nature and betraying me. 414 00:18:08,786 --> 00:18:11,589 I hope you feel really, really, really, bad. 415 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,590 Hey, what's up? 416 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,591 Oh, Eddie stole the car. 417 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,592 Which one? 418 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,592 That car. 419 00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:27,304 Eddie, please, you can't leave! 420 00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,873 A man makes one mistake, and you hold it against him for life? 421 00:18:29,874 --> 00:18:31,275 Works for you. 422 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,677 This is no time for irony! Eddie! 423 00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:34,912 Sally! Mary! 424 00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,213 Dick, where's Sally? 425 00:18:36,214 --> 00:18:37,514 Oh, who cares? 426 00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:38,849 Eddie's leaving me. 427 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:39,983 But I-- 428 00:18:39,984 --> 00:18:42,085 dogs! Dogs! Dogs! Dogs! 429 00:18:42,086 --> 00:18:43,287 Am I the only one around here 430 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,556 who understands the phrase "no dogs"? 431 00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:46,991 Well, I just have to find Sally. 432 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:49,159 I went to the pound to see pepper, but he's gone! 433 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,361 Where did these two come from? 434 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,461 Well, they were just sitting 435 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,497 in a cold, hard cell with no chewies. 436 00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:56,166 I'll tell you what. I'll forget about the projector thing, 437 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:57,534 and you forget about the false arrests. 438 00:18:57,535 --> 00:18:59,069 Eddie: no way! 439 00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:00,704 Look, Eddie, have some more soup. 440 00:19:00,705 --> 00:19:01,772 Eddie: no more soup! 441 00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,807 Dick: no, it's good. It's warm. 442 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:07,077 Like you know anything about new england 443 00:19:07,078 --> 00:19:09,446 in the 19th century! 444 00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:10,614 Hey, could you keep it down? 445 00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:12,149 I'm trying to finish my report over here. 446 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,152 You shut up, you cheater. 447 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,588 All right. All right. How many words do you got? 448 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,756 498. I need 2 more words. 449 00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:22,393 Ok, uh... 450 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,460 the end. 451 00:19:23,461 --> 00:19:24,828 Genius! 452 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:27,431 Cheater! 453 00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,399 Think about everything we've been through together. 454 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,834 Eddie: that's what I am thinking of. 455 00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:33,303 Isn't it enough that a brilliant, compassionate man 456 00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:34,871 now feels like a fool? 457 00:19:34,872 --> 00:19:36,573 Sally: Albright! Sally! 458 00:19:36,574 --> 00:19:39,176 Albright, I have been looking all over for you. 459 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,945 I know. Me, too. I feel so badly about what we've done. 460 00:19:41,946 --> 00:19:44,014 I went to the pound to find pepper, but he's gone! 461 00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:46,250 No, he's not. Soldier! 462 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,718 Pepper! 463 00:19:48,719 --> 00:19:51,021 Why is there another dog here? 464 00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:54,357 My dog is back! 465 00:19:54,358 --> 00:19:57,527 Oh, my boy, he missed me. 466 00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,402 Eddie, did I make no difference to your life? 467 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:07,404 Is there nothing that you'll remember fondly? 468 00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:10,373 The chicken wasn't bad. 469 00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:12,342 Eddie, Eddie, if you'll just sign this release form, 470 00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:13,410 I'll be on my way. 471 00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:15,045 What's it for? 472 00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:17,514 Uh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing 473 00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:19,416 in arresting you for no reason 474 00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:22,252 and with no evidence. It's standard. 475 00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:24,421 I'll have my lawyer look at it. 476 00:20:24,422 --> 00:20:25,756 Oh! 477 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:35,298 Well, all in all, I think things worked out pretty well. 478 00:20:35,299 --> 00:20:36,500 Oh, I agree. 479 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:39,603 We prepared Eddie nicely for his return to society. 480 00:20:39,604 --> 00:20:41,271 Well, we proved he didn't steal the car. 481 00:20:41,272 --> 00:20:42,806 He's got to feel good about that. 482 00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:46,443 We have nothing to be ashamed about. 483 00:20:46,444 --> 00:20:49,913 What say we never speak of this incident every again? 484 00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:51,148 Agreed. 485 00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,283 Of course, unless we're subpoenaed. 486 00:20:53,284 --> 00:20:54,751 Oh! 487 00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:58,622 In which case, we'll just lie. 488 00:20:59,657 --> 00:21:01,591 Yes! Yes! 489 00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:07,030 You know, I really feel like I accomplished something. 490 00:21:07,031 --> 00:21:09,132 It's not easy to change a man. 491 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:10,934 Or a dog. You know, I found 492 00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:13,303 it's virtually impossible to teach a dog, 493 00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:15,639 especially an old one, anything new. 494 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,640 You know, like a trick. 495 00:21:16,641 --> 00:21:18,241 Wow, that's a good point. 496 00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:21,978 Oh! You guys, I got my book report back. 497 00:21:21,979 --> 00:21:23,080 Oh, yeah, what'd you get? 498 00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,948 "Please see me." 499 00:21:26,617 --> 00:21:28,018 Well, well, there you go. 500 00:21:28,019 --> 00:21:30,787 She wants to congratulate you in person. 501 00:21:30,788 --> 00:21:33,190 Well, all right. 502 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,482 Oh, Eddie, that's funny, but let me out. 503 00:21:59,483 --> 00:22:01,351 Lights out! Lock in! 504 00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:04,354 Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--