1
00:00:01,907 --> 00:00:04,047
Previously on
3rd rock from the sun...
2
00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:06,440
we four aliens dreamed
for the first time.
3
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,225
I'll tell you
what you want to know!
4
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:10,843
Of course you will, Dr. Solomon.
5
00:00:10,907 --> 00:00:14,652
Naturally, not being human, we
thought our brains were decomposing.
6
00:00:14,938 --> 00:00:15,630
Ahhhh !
7
00:00:15,655 --> 00:00:18,280
We planned an immediate
return to the home planet.
8
00:00:18,305 --> 00:00:19,428
We'll leave tonight
at 8:53.
9
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:20,700
W-when are we
coming back?
10
00:00:20,725 --> 00:00:22,806
Could be a week, a year,
could be 200 years.
11
00:00:22,831 --> 00:00:23,623
What about Mary?
12
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:24,515
Oh, she'll be dead.
13
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Maybe I am
losing my mind,
14
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but while there's a little
left, I want to marry you.
15
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This is so great!
16
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I know!
17
00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:35,323
Uh, Dick,
are you sure?
18
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Absolutely.
19
00:00:36,597 --> 00:00:38,289
Well, this is
good-Bye, then.
20
00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:41,973
I had a dream
you asked me to marry you.
21
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You had a what?
22
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People dream.
23
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People dream?!
24
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Hello! Sally!
25
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Harry!
26
00:00:48,784 --> 00:00:49,740
They're gone.
27
00:00:50,636 --> 00:00:52,663
I miss them.
28
00:00:53,446 --> 00:00:55,823
And that
togetherness is what is most celebrated
29
00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:57,786
about this
very special occasion.
30
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Oh, Mary, this is the
happiest day of my life.
31
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You look so beautiful.
32
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And I look smashing
in my tuxedo.
33
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My bow tie
matches my Cummerbund.
34
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You're not wearing
a Cummerbund.
35
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Yes, I am.
36
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You're supposed to wear it on the outside.
37
00:01:13,728 --> 00:01:16,321
Oh. Oh, that
explains the rash.
38
00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:20,613
Now, then, if anyone
objects to this sacred union,
39
00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:23,390
speak now or
forever hold your peace.
40
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I object.
41
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:28,881
Oh I think
that's my arm.
42
00:01:28,996 --> 00:01:30,437
Huh? Oh, sorry.
43
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:31,978
My family!
You made it!
44
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,015
I was afraid I was never
going to see you again.
45
00:01:34,323 --> 00:01:35,538
You look well.
46
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You got some colour.
47
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Could have used you
at the wheel, Dick.
48
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Oh, but no.
49
00:01:40,896 --> 00:01:42,932
You had to stay and marry that earth chick.
50
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Yeah. With
tragic results for us.
51
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I..I tried to contact
you. I tried everything.
52
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I even built
a transmitter,
53
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but then I...spilled
grape soda on it
54
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and the whole thing
shorted out.
55
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However, I did manage to
have a brief conversation
56
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with the captain
of a shrimp boat.
57
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So that's supposed
to make it better?
58
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Oh, come on. You got to
go back to the home planet.
59
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What's so bad
about that?
60
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Oh, nothing.
61
00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:06,730
Except when you pass too close to a Quasar
62
00:02:06,785 --> 00:02:09,090
and this happens!
63
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Oh, my god!
64
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You've turned
into a woman!
65
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Well, not everywhere.
66
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As if showering in gym
class wasn't traumatic enough.
67
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Thank you very much.
68
00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:21,607
Dick, I think it's time to cut the cake!
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I-I'll be right there.
70
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Y-you're not going
to leave again, are you?
71
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No.
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We have some...
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00:02:27,232 --> 00:02:29,633
unfinished business
to take care of.
74
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I-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
75
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No, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
76
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Aah! Aah!
77
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Ooh! Ooh!
78
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Aah! Ah!
79
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No, I'm sorry!
80
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I'm sorry! Stop!
81
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Stop!
82
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You're ruining
my tuxedo!
83
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Stop!
84
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Dick,
I made breakfast!
85
00:02:44,842 --> 00:02:46,338
Dick, are you
all right?
86
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Oh, no, Mary,
87
00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:50,049
I had another one of those horrible dreams!
88
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What happened?
89
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We were getting married.
90
00:02:52,232 --> 00:02:53,384
Thank you.
91
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No, no.
92
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No, that was
the good part,
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but then my family
showed up.
94
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Oh. Don't tell me.
They objected.
95
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Well...
they had issues.
96
00:03:02,487 --> 00:03:03,095
It's all right.
97
00:03:03,188 --> 00:03:06,642
I've prepared a short speech
just in case they did.
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It's just basically
2 words,
99
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and one of them's "off."
100
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God, I think I made
a big mistake.
101
00:03:15,944 --> 00:03:17,964
I should never have let
them go off without me,
102
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uh, on vacation.
103
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Well, until
they get back,
104
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can't we just
enjoy our time alone?
105
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Alone?
106
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Dick, are you having
second thoughts about us?
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About us?
Oh, no, Mary.
108
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I don't know what I'd do without you.
109
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You're the only thing
keeping me sane.
110
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Ohh!
111
00:03:35,831 --> 00:03:38,662
And it's
a full-time job.
112
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
113
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I'm going to get ready
for work.
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00:03:44,629 --> 00:03:46,379
Ya crazy lug.
115
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Ha ha ha ha ha!
116
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I miss you all so much.
117
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And my oatmeal is so lumpy.
118
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Uh, welcome back, class.
119
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Uh, before we begin,
120
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I'd like to hear
what everybody did
121
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over their break.
122
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Uh, bug?
123
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Me?
124
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Uh, w-well, I spent
a lot of time
125
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in a cabin in the woods
with my folks..
126
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er, that's nice.
Caryn?
127
00:04:54,622 --> 00:04:55,666
Oh, uh, well,
128
00:04:55,691 --> 00:04:58,092
I went to the Grand Canyon
with my brother and sister and-..
129
00:04:58,117 --> 00:04:59,873
oh, enough about
your damn families!
130
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,114
Didn't anybody
spend the break alone,
131
00:05:03,139 --> 00:05:05,451
watching reruns
and eating cheese doodles
132
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while an unfathomable
emptiness
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permeated
their shriveled souls?
134
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I saw booty call
on pay-per-view.
135
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Don't try to cheer me up,
Leon. It won't work.
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Is there something you'd like
to talk about, Dr. Solomon?
137
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Talk about?
With you, Leon?
138
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Ha ha ha ha!
139
00:05:22,302 --> 00:05:24,135
Well, you know
I am a psych major...
140
00:05:24,402 --> 00:05:24,961
now.
141
00:05:26,691 --> 00:05:27,490
You are?
142
00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:30,396
Well, then...
143
00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:31,927
help me out.
144
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I've made a horrible, horrible mistake,
145
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and I can't stop hating myself for making it.
146
00:05:38,162 --> 00:05:39,551
Well, you know,
Dr. Solomon,
147
00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:41,215
a person
should never be sad
148
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,763
for the mistakes
he's made.
149
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Only for the mistakes
he's about to make.
150
00:05:46,214 --> 00:05:47,952
Leon,
that's beautiful.
151
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:52,149
It also explains why you always seem so sad.
152
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Thank you, Leon.
153
00:05:54,516 --> 00:05:56,051
You've made it
all so clear.
154
00:05:56,684 --> 00:05:58,271
I've got to learn
to let go,
155
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to move forward and
focus on the thing
156
00:06:00,489 --> 00:06:02,282
that's most important in my life.
157
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Meeeeeeeee!
158
00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:12,606
You guys remember when I
thought our brains were melting?
159
00:06:12,803 --> 00:06:14,040
You remember that?
160
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,599
Well, it turns out
we were just dreaming.
161
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But, hey, none of you
caught it either.
162
00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:23,243
I mean, it was pretty stupid on
all our parts, especially your parts.
163
00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:24,711
I'm not taking
the blame on this one!
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Ooh! Ooh!
165
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I'm sorry.
Let's not fight.
166
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I miss you...
167
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with all my heart.
168
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I've come here every night
hoping you'd returned...
169
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but you never have.
170
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And so I've
come to a decision.
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00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,736
Sally, Harry, Tommy,
172
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I can't go on
torturing myself anymore.
173
00:06:51,095 --> 00:06:52,918
I have to move forward
with my life,
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00:06:52,961 --> 00:06:54,934
the life
I've chosen with Mary.
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I hope you understand.
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And so good-bye.
177
00:07:01,499 --> 00:07:02,550
Good-bye, Sally.
178
00:07:03,462 --> 00:07:04,494
Good-bye, Tommy.
179
00:07:05,486 --> 00:07:06,462
Good-bye, Harry.
180
00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:08,897
Good-Bye, Dick!
181
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,988
It's almost as if
I could hear you.
182
00:07:13,102 --> 00:07:14,287
It sure is!
183
00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:17,404
Harry!
184
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:18,752
You're back!
185
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:20,072
You're all back!
186
00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,542
Oh, I missed you all
so much!
187
00:07:22,646 --> 00:07:23,529
Oh, Sally!
188
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,675
Oh, Harry!
189
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:26,968
Tommy!
190
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:28,127
Ohh!
191
00:07:28,339 --> 00:07:30,643
A woman I've
never seen before!
192
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,172
Who's this?!
193
00:07:34,255 --> 00:07:35,286
The big giant head
sent her.
194
00:07:35,311 --> 00:07:37,119
Dick, I'd like you
to meet...
195
00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:38,593
your new wife!
196
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,942
My wife?!
197
00:07:41,272 --> 00:07:43,896
Hi, honey, I'm home!
198
00:07:46,809 --> 00:07:47,532
Family meeting!
199
00:07:47,577 --> 00:07:48,648
Family meeting!
200
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:50,039
No, not you.
201
00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:52,769
That is not my wife.
202
00:07:52,868 --> 00:07:53,849
So? I'm
not your sister.
203
00:07:53,953 --> 00:07:54,924
Yeah, and I'm
not your brother.
204
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:55,884
He's certainly
not my uncle.
205
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:56,726
And I'm not
his aunt.
206
00:07:56,751 --> 00:07:57,711
I'm not
his father.
207
00:07:58,764 --> 00:08:00,865
You see? This woman is
tearing this family apart!
208
00:08:01,326 --> 00:08:02,322
That's it, meeting adjourned.
209
00:08:02,347 --> 00:08:04,460
That woman is not my
wife. I'm engaged to Mary.
210
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,181
Dick, you're gonna
have to forget about her.
211
00:08:06,249 --> 00:08:07,489
No, this can't
be happening.
212
00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:08,895
This cannot
be happening.
213
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,220
It's got to be
another crazy dream.
214
00:08:10,245 --> 00:08:11,106
It's not a dream, Dick.
215
00:08:11,131 --> 00:08:12,090
I don't believe you.
216
00:08:12,429 --> 00:08:13,469
I still
don't believe you.
217
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,814
I'll never
believe you!
218
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:18,184
All right, all right! I
believe you! I believe you!
219
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,334
Can I
rub that for you?
220
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,851
Oh, leave me alone.
221
00:08:21,012 --> 00:08:21,553
Yes, dear.
222
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:22,859
Go away!
223
00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:24,500
Thank you!
224
00:08:25,841 --> 00:08:27,408
Dick, here's the deal.
225
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:30,387
The big giant head thinks
your pursuit of that blonde wench
226
00:08:30,412 --> 00:08:31,807
is distracting you
from your duties.
227
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:34,072
How does he know so much
about my wench?
228
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,116
He summoned us
before him.
229
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,346
He made us wear
the truth belt.
230
00:08:39,682 --> 00:08:40,844
The one with the buzzer?
231
00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:41,542
Bzzz!
232
00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:44,147
It was
horrible, Dick.
233
00:08:44,214 --> 00:08:45,089
So you caved,
lieutenant?
234
00:08:45,121 --> 00:08:45,548
Yes!
235
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,257
You just
brought her here?
236
00:08:46,282 --> 00:08:47,533
It was either that
or the big giant head
237
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:49,236
was going to have you
sucked back to the home planet.
238
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,478
But I'd rather be sucked!
239
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:51,496
Oh, typical!
240
00:08:53,851 --> 00:08:56,618
You know, Dick,
it might not be so bad.
241
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,381
This woman,
she is 100% wife.
242
00:08:59,428 --> 00:09:00,995
I mean, all she read
on the way over was
243
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,571
the joy of cooking
and the joy of sex.
244
00:09:03,942 --> 00:09:06,156
This car is meshuggah!
245
00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:09,524
Oh, yeah.
And the joy of Yiddish.
246
00:09:09,707 --> 00:09:13,506
Did you guys realize that
we have 3 holes in our heads?
247
00:09:13,662 --> 00:09:14,094
5.
248
00:09:14,669 --> 00:09:15,403
3.
249
00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:16,927
2 here
and then this one.
250
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:18,088
Feel the sides
of your head.
251
00:09:18,301 --> 00:09:19,617
Ooooooh
252
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,920
What do you know?
253
00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,704
Just wait.
There's more.
254
00:09:28,086 --> 00:09:29,302
Isn't she adorable?
255
00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:30,731
We've been
calling her Janet.
256
00:09:30,807 --> 00:09:31,620
Well, most of us have.
257
00:09:31,714 --> 00:09:33,467
I'm telling you, she looks like a zippy..
258
00:09:33,519 --> 00:09:35,254
Harry, no!
I've been telling you..
259
00:09:35,279 --> 00:09:36,086
now that's enough!
260
00:09:36,144 --> 00:09:37,584
I've heard enough.
261
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,873
Get in the car. We're ditching this woman.
262
00:09:39,898 --> 00:09:40,723
We can't do that.
263
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,470
Well, of course we can.
I'll just put it in drive,
264
00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:43,903
and we'll fly
like the wind!
265
00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:45,189
Tell him.
266
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:48,155
She is the big
giant head's niece.
267
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:55,164
Well...so what?
268
00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:56,954
What's the worst thing
that can happen
269
00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:58,138
if we leave her here?
270
00:09:58,258 --> 00:09:59,405
Big giant
Court-Martials.
271
00:09:59,478 --> 00:10:01,510
Followed by
big giant executions.
272
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,959
And then 4 tiny little funerals.
273
00:10:05,245 --> 00:10:06,196
I don't care.
274
00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:08,008
I've chosen love
over death before.
275
00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:09,000
Yeah, well, I haven't.
276
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,410
Janet, get in the car!
277
00:10:13,591 --> 00:10:14,406
Damn!
278
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,245
Oww!
279
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:21,513
Some wife.
280
00:10:28,013 --> 00:10:29,547
Oh! Food!
281
00:10:29,641 --> 00:10:31,094
God, I'm starving!
282
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:33,743
Ah.
283
00:10:34,813 --> 00:10:35,743
You waited.
284
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,132
I knew you would.
285
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:43,555
Ohhh!
286
00:10:43,747 --> 00:10:45,963
It's our first home.
287
00:10:46,096 --> 00:10:47,764
I love it!
288
00:10:48,851 --> 00:10:49,845
Where's our bedroom?
289
00:10:49,935 --> 00:10:52,775
Oh, no, no, uh,
that won't be necessary.
290
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:55,544
No! I want to be
the best wife ever!
291
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:58,580
Well, uh... good luck to you. Bye, now.
292
00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:01,001
No, don't fight it,
sweetie.
293
00:11:01,136 --> 00:11:03,120
Let me love you.
294
00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:08,083
Where's our boudoir?
295
00:11:08,239 --> 00:11:09,862
Oh..oh..
oh, well, uh..uh..
296
00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:12,243
long story short,
we don't have one.
297
00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:13,642
Ok, then.
298
00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:15,328
Whoa!
299
00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:20,972
Uhh! Ohh!
300
00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:23,150
Ohh!
301
00:11:23,205 --> 00:11:24,165
Ok!
302
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,916
That was fun,
and you were good.
303
00:11:25,941 --> 00:11:27,542
I was amazing.
We're done.
304
00:11:27,616 --> 00:11:28,512
Now...
305
00:11:28,759 --> 00:11:30,200
go enjoy a sandwich.
306
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,227
Ok, then!
307
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,004
Ssssspank me.
308
00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:40,447
There's
nothing to eat.
309
00:11:40,472 --> 00:11:42,151
Well, that's good, 'cause
there's no clean dishes.
310
00:11:42,346 --> 00:11:43,785
God, this place
is a pigsty.
311
00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,165
Yeah, you better
get on it.
312
00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:48,806
Oh, thanks, Tommy.
That's a nice welcome ho...
313
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:53,576
Janet.
314
00:11:54,087 --> 00:11:56,005
I love this room.
315
00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:57,311
Oh, what's not to love?
316
00:11:58,105 --> 00:11:59,412
Did you know
that this is where I do
317
00:11:59,437 --> 00:12:00,876
all of my cooking
and cleaning?
318
00:12:01,213 --> 00:12:03,614
I mean, there is no
greater honor for a woman.
319
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:04,933
Me, I can't
get enough of it.
320
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,017
In fact, I'm gonna
clean some dishes right now.
321
00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:07,888
Ha ha ha!
322
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,676
Oh, yeah!
323
00:12:12,652 --> 00:12:14,419
Oh, but I'm the wife.
324
00:12:15,004 --> 00:12:16,830
Shouldn't I be able
to do the dishes?
325
00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,528
No. This is
too much fun, Ok?
326
00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:20,072
Please!
327
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:21,802
Ok, if you insist.
328
00:12:22,345 --> 00:12:23,893
But I still
get to do the floors!
329
00:12:23,925 --> 00:12:25,535
Whee!
330
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:27,007
No, no, no, no, no!
331
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:29,209
I think the floors
are my turf now.
332
00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:30,558
Ok.
333
00:12:31,012 --> 00:12:33,621
There is no way you're
getting this job, sister.
334
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,199
But you're the wife.
335
00:12:37,284 --> 00:12:40,201
Good-bye, kitchen.
I sure am gonna miss ya.
336
00:12:40,617 --> 00:12:42,618
♪ I'm
gonna love you ♪
337
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:44,379
she's doing
the kitchen.
338
00:12:45,282 --> 00:12:46,691
Score!
339
00:12:47,946 --> 00:12:49,290
That's just great.
340
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,058
Oh, come on, Dick.
I'm sorry.
341
00:12:51,115 --> 00:12:52,510
You know we wouldn't
have brought her back here
342
00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:53,933
unless
we were forced to.
343
00:12:54,027 --> 00:12:55,179
Yeah, I guess not.
344
00:12:55,227 --> 00:12:56,745
At least we're all
together again, right?
345
00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:57,866
Yeah. And what the hell?
346
00:12:57,906 --> 00:13:00,412
We've been through
tougher times before, huh?
347
00:13:01,575 --> 00:13:02,265
Oh, guys!
348
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:03,551
Ohh!
349
00:13:03,978 --> 00:13:06,029
Are there aliens
among us?
350
00:13:06,054 --> 00:13:07,987
Tonight local residents
report seeing
351
00:13:08,012 --> 00:13:10,766
mysterious lights in the sky
over the old Sweeney farm.
352
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,896
Whoa! That's the place
where we landed!
353
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:14,625
Ok, all right.
354
00:13:14,712 --> 00:13:16,088
We have nothing
to worry about.
355
00:13:16,136 --> 00:13:17,800
Sally cleaned up
the landing site.
356
00:13:17,905 --> 00:13:19,467
You said you were gonna
clean up the landing site.
357
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:20,445
No, no,
no, no, no, no.
358
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:23,752
I said I was going to
clean up the landing site.
359
00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:25,469
So you cleaned up
the landing site.
360
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,533
No.
361
00:13:27,352 --> 00:13:28,041
[Gasps]
362
00:13:28,066 --> 00:13:28,771
Aah!
363
00:13:28,796 --> 00:13:29,422
Oh, god!
364
00:13:29,447 --> 00:13:29,961
Hurry!
365
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:30,588
Hurry!
366
00:13:30,718 --> 00:13:31,933
Hurry up!
Get over there!
367
00:13:43,319 --> 00:13:45,687
Aah! Aah! Aah!
368
00:13:46,835 --> 00:13:47,903
Oh, Don!
369
00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:49,399
Sally!
370
00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:51,986
You made my heart
jump right into my mouth.
371
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,169
Ohh!
372
00:13:55,309 --> 00:13:56,177
Swallow.
373
00:14:02,731 --> 00:14:03,938
Nice flashlight.
374
00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:06,029
I was about to say
the same thing to you.
375
00:14:07,444 --> 00:14:09,234
Sally,
where have you been?
376
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,317
I thought we had
a good thing going.
377
00:14:10,459 --> 00:14:11,645
Oh, Don, we did.
I just..
378
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,219
I needed to take a little time,
you know, to think things over.
379
00:14:15,244 --> 00:14:17,195
I just went on one those spontaneous trips,
380
00:14:17,259 --> 00:14:18,539
you know, to,
um, uh...
381
00:14:18,688 --> 00:14:19,405
Sea World. Turkey.
382
00:14:19,436 --> 00:14:21,229
Yeah, the sea world
in turkey.
383
00:14:21,587 --> 00:14:23,762
Funny, I didn't know there
was a sea world in turkey.
384
00:14:25,555 --> 00:14:27,267
There's sea worlds
everywhere, Don.
385
00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:30,156
You just got to know
where to look.
386
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:34,308
Wh-wh-what are you
all doing out here
387
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,227
in the dead
of the night?
388
00:14:35,252 --> 00:14:38,676
Oh, well, Tommy and I were just going
to go down to old man Sweeney's creek
389
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:40,141
and look for tadpoles
390
00:14:40,576 --> 00:14:43,425
while Harry here kept
you busy. Come on, Tommy.
391
00:14:46,935 --> 00:14:47,955
Circle.
392
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:49,611
Yeah. Sure is.
393
00:14:50,739 --> 00:14:52,037
You know, Harry,
394
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,724
there are some crackpots saying
that this is the work of UFOs.
395
00:14:54,749 --> 00:14:55,224
Hah.
396
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:58,066
As if there could be
intelligent life out there.
397
00:14:58,427 --> 00:15:00,026
What a load of hooey.
398
00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:02,239
Hooey?
399
00:15:02,264 --> 00:15:05,081
Oh, yeah. So much bunk,
you can make a bed out of it.
400
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:06,825
Oh, it's bunk, is it?
401
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,647
Any moron with
half a brain knows that.
402
00:15:09,672 --> 00:15:10,921
Half a brain.
I see.
403
00:15:11,529 --> 00:15:12,335
Well, you know, Don,
404
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,352
it's a big universe
out there,
405
00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:16,862
and not just
small big.
406
00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:18,238
Big big.
407
00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:20,222
Why, in the Bbelletrix
system alone
408
00:15:20,247 --> 00:15:23,095
there are over
44 trillion planets.
409
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,424
44 trillion?
410
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,945
That's the biggest number
I've ever heard in my life.
411
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:32,791
Yeah. So don't you think
on just one of those planets
412
00:15:32,816 --> 00:15:35,686
that there might be some
species.. Smarter than you..
413
00:15:36,682 --> 00:15:39,090
that would be capable
of building a spaceship?
414
00:15:40,538 --> 00:15:42,391
Statistically, I suppose.
415
00:15:43,535 --> 00:15:45,818
Maybe there is more to this
than meets the eye.
416
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:47,257
Thank you, Harry.
417
00:15:47,851 --> 00:15:48,368
No.
418
00:15:49,084 --> 00:15:51,260
Thank you, Don.
419
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:55,771
Aliens, huh?
420
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:01,081
Aah!
421
00:16:01,106 --> 00:16:01,844
Uhh!
422
00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:04,143
It's just wheat.
423
00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:05,255
Just wheat.
424
00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:06,333
What's that?!
425
00:16:07,181 --> 00:16:08,108
Huh?!
426
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,638
So, Janet, what do you call
these things we're eating?
427
00:16:14,826 --> 00:16:15,630
Pancakes.
428
00:16:16,215 --> 00:16:17,217
These are pancakes?
429
00:16:17,887 --> 00:16:20,095
I thought pancakes
were burnt globs of dough
430
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,584
that explode with flour
when you bite into them,
431
00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:23,615
Sally.
432
00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:25,066
Me, too.
433
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,109
Good morning, dear.
434
00:16:30,134 --> 00:16:32,680
I'm just putting the
finishing touches on your lunch.
435
00:16:32,789 --> 00:16:34,710
Ow, wow, Dick.
You look terrible.
436
00:16:35,151 --> 00:16:36,293
I feel even worse.
437
00:16:36,318 --> 00:16:37,047
Why? What's wrong?
438
00:16:38,019 --> 00:16:38,558
All night long,
439
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:41,560
Janet kept trying to touch
my wacky place.
440
00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:46,613
I wound up sleeping
behind the TV.
441
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,072
All I could think of was how
much I wanted to be with Mary.
442
00:16:49,097 --> 00:16:49,928
Shh!
443
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:51,528
You've got to give
Janet a chance.
444
00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:52,845
I don't gotta do Nothin'!
445
00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:54,909
Janet.
446
00:16:55,335 --> 00:16:56,100
Yes, dear.
447
00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:56,874
You know this whole thing
448
00:16:56,899 --> 00:16:58,075
where I'm supposed
to be your husband
449
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,411
and you're
supposed to be my wife?
450
00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:01,530
Of course. It's never gonna work out.
451
00:17:01,817 --> 00:17:04,087
And the sooner we face up to
that, the happier we'll be.
452
00:17:04,805 --> 00:17:05,476
There now.
453
00:17:06,536 --> 00:17:07,591
Don't you
feel better?
454
00:17:10,503 --> 00:17:11,560
What's happening?
455
00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:13,379
I'm all wet!
456
00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:14,714
No, stop.
Don't do that.
457
00:17:14,811 --> 00:17:15,822
No, stop! Stop!
458
00:17:15,847 --> 00:17:17,159
I'm leaking!
459
00:17:17,184 --> 00:17:18,078
Sally!
460
00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:19,815
Oh, it's fine,
honey. It's normal.
461
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,040
Just go dry your eyes, and we'll
shop for shoes, Ok, honey?
462
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,716
You cannot talk to her like
that! We'll all get incinerated!
463
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:30,978
Well, I think we all love Mary
enough to make that sacrifice.
464
00:17:31,061 --> 00:17:31,628
Am I right?
465
00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:32,777
Nooo !
466
00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:35,055
well, I do.
467
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,576
Oh, my god!
468
00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:40,983
What are these?
469
00:17:41,134 --> 00:17:41,872
Pancakes.
470
00:17:41,969 --> 00:17:43,025
Janet's pancakes.
471
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:44,926
These are pancakes?
I thought pancakes were..
472
00:17:44,951 --> 00:17:45,814
me, too!
473
00:17:48,018 --> 00:17:48,984
Ok?!
474
00:17:55,377 --> 00:17:55,882
Hey, Dick..
475
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:57,096
it's not
what it looks like!
476
00:17:58,433 --> 00:18:00,262
It looks wonderful!
477
00:18:00,499 --> 00:18:03,694
I've never seen you bring your
lunch in a picnic basket before.
478
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,847
Well, I've never seen you
in a thong bikini before,
479
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,810
but there's a first time
for everything, right?
480
00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:10,665
No. What did you make?
481
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,104
What did I make?
482
00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:15,029
W-w-well, that's a.. an easy
enough, uh, question to answer.
483
00:18:15,054 --> 00:18:17,924
I'll just, uh, open it up and show you.
484
00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:19,923
Peppered duck pate
485
00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:21,470
and wheat crackers,
486
00:18:21,728 --> 00:18:25,180
uh, Thai noodles,
homemade chocolate chunk cookies.
487
00:18:25,691 --> 00:18:26,140
Oh!
488
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,343
A flower?
489
00:18:27,411 --> 00:18:28,674
Well, what's wrong
with your "fiance"
490
00:18:28,706 --> 00:18:29,871
bringing you
a flower?
491
00:18:30,187 --> 00:18:32,041
Oh, that's sweet.
492
00:18:32,998 --> 00:18:34,174
I'm sorry, Mary.
493
00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:35,376
I know that, uh, lately
494
00:18:35,401 --> 00:18:38,282
I-I've been acting
a little strange.
495
00:18:38,608 --> 00:18:39,214
Lately?
496
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,260
Ok. For the last
few minutes.
497
00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:43,171
But I'm going to
make it up to you.
498
00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:44,220
Nina!
499
00:18:44,492 --> 00:18:44,891
Yes?
500
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,482
Wouldl you make a reservation for two tonight
501
00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:47,959
at la petite orange?
502
00:18:48,408 --> 00:18:49,537
La petite orange?
503
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:50,093
Oui.
504
00:18:51,222 --> 00:18:52,034
What did he do?
505
00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:52,947
Nothing.
506
00:18:53,018 --> 00:18:54,938
Oh, yeah, he did something, all right.
507
00:18:56,548 --> 00:18:58,155
All I've done
is to love Mary
508
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,203
more than any other
woman in this world.
509
00:19:01,781 --> 00:19:03,701
No matter how good
their pancakes are.
510
00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:05,515
Have you ever done that?
511
00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:06,372
Yeah.
512
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,356
Have you ever done that?
513
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:10,615
Oh, yeah.
514
00:19:13,522 --> 00:19:15,342
Have you ever done that?
515
00:19:19,882 --> 00:19:20,575
Yeah.
516
00:19:22,384 --> 00:19:23,385
Oh, Dick!
517
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:24,615
Can we do this?
518
00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:25,226
Ohh!
519
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:26,901
No!
520
00:19:27,215 --> 00:19:28,842
Mrs. Dubcek, what
are you doing here?
521
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,817
I'm talking
to your...wife.
522
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,390
Well, I think you two
have talked long enough.
523
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:34,826
Janet, please!
524
00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:37,784
I can get into my pajamas
in my own time!
525
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:38,720
Yes, dear.
526
00:19:38,865 --> 00:19:39,507
You know, a woman
527
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:41,919
doesn't have to pretend that
she's your wife to sleep over,
528
00:19:41,990 --> 00:19:44,614
unless that's what
spikes your punch.
529
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,069
Janet, get off me!
530
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:49,128
Go make me
an English muffin pizza.
531
00:19:49,452 --> 00:19:51,431
Yes, my little kreplach!
532
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:52,448
Ooh!
533
00:19:55,139 --> 00:19:56,531
Listen up, everyone.
534
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:58,584
I have a plan.
535
00:19:58,609 --> 00:19:59,124
I'll go get Janet.
536
00:19:59,424 --> 00:20:00,288
No, no!
537
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:02,113
It's a plan
to get rid of Janet.
538
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,576
Right. Nice save.
539
00:20:05,085 --> 00:20:06,518
Dick, you can't
just kick her out.
540
00:20:06,543 --> 00:20:07,328
I know.
541
00:20:07,787 --> 00:20:09,385
But what if she
wanted to leave?
542
00:20:09,485 --> 00:20:10,488
She doesn't
want to leave.
543
00:20:10,554 --> 00:20:12,274
Not yet. But I think
I can change that.
544
00:20:12,299 --> 00:20:13,671
Watch. Watch...
545
00:20:14,037 --> 00:20:14,673
as I become
546
00:20:14,698 --> 00:20:18,347
the most obnoxious, repulsive
creep any woman has ever met.
547
00:20:18,603 --> 00:20:21,612
Wow! The transformation
is astounding.
548
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,476
I'm impressed!
549
00:20:23,151 --> 00:20:24,366
I haven't done it yet!
550
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,629
But I must start
immediately.
551
00:20:26,654 --> 00:20:27,860
Harry,
go pick up Mary
552
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:30,346
and take her
to la petite orange.
553
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:31,428
Here's a 20.
554
00:20:31,485 --> 00:20:32,885
I think it's going
to cost more than that.
555
00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:33,706
Well, you
won't be eating.
556
00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:34,884
All Righty.
557
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,647
Your mini pizza is ready.
558
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:38,984
Uh, coming, dear.
559
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:43,854
It begins.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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