1 00:00:03,992 --> 00:00:05,206 Here you go. 2 00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:09,700 Yes! My X-Ray glasses! 3 00:00:09,945 --> 00:00:11,655 Look out, women of Rutherford. 4 00:00:11,656 --> 00:00:15,172 From now on, Dick Solomon no longer has to use his imagination. 5 00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:23,868 Nina, you're supposed to be naked. 6 00:00:25,136 --> 00:00:26,709 I'm wearing my lead teddy. 7 00:00:28,731 --> 00:00:29,527 - Damn! 8 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:30,955 When they found him, 9 00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:34,257 he was completely devoured by woodland creatures. 10 00:00:35,821 --> 00:00:36,675 Guess what came. 11 00:00:37,648 --> 00:00:40,104 Oh, it's from the friedhoffer foundation! 12 00:00:40,494 --> 00:00:42,735 - Oh! - Well? 13 00:00:43,039 --> 00:00:45,191 I got it! They accepted my application! 14 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:48,439 - I'm going to Borneo! - What's so great about Borneo? 15 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:51,704 Oh, Dick, this is a tremendous opportunity.. 16 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:55,478 a chance to really study, to immerse myself in a primitive culture. 17 00:00:55,676 --> 00:00:56,962 Congratulations, Mary. 18 00:00:57,305 --> 00:00:59,208 I myself could never live in the wild. 19 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,418 I've got to rub this in Dr. Erdman's face. 20 00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:05,587 Let's go to the faculty lounge and just let it slip out accidentally. 21 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,087 Bring the letter. I'll set, you spike. 22 00:01:10,313 --> 00:01:11,791 Oh, Borneo. 23 00:01:12,474 --> 00:01:14,996 How wonderful for her. She could use a weekend away. 24 00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:17,899 Oh, Dr. Solomon, she's going to be going for a year. 25 00:01:17,963 --> 00:01:20,210 A year? She can't go away for a year. 26 00:01:20,235 --> 00:01:21,441 We're in a relationship. 27 00:01:22,139 --> 00:01:25,141 We just bought a fondue pot together. We've got plans. 28 00:01:26,008 --> 00:01:28,268 Well, it's going to take a lot more than hot cheese 29 00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:29,642 to keep her here. 30 00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,889 You're going to have to make a bigger commitment. 31 00:01:32,453 --> 00:01:34,340 You mean, like an electric wok? 32 00:01:36,282 --> 00:01:38,594 I mean like a marriage proposal. 33 00:01:38,754 --> 00:01:41,712 Oh. You may be on to something. If she was my wife, 34 00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:45,515 she'd be so busy cooking and doing chores, she'd have no time for Borneo. 35 00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:49,836 So here's something interesting. 36 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,866 I've decided to ask Dr. Albright to marry me. What do you think? 37 00:01:53,074 --> 00:01:54,976 - That's a terrible idea! - Don't be an idiot! 38 00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,515 Great, then it's settled. 39 00:01:57,337 --> 00:01:59,719 You can't marry her. You're not even the same species. 40 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,344 She doesn't know that. As far as she knows, I'm like everybody else. 41 00:02:02,393 --> 00:02:04,878 Eventually she'd figure out you're not like everybody else, 42 00:02:04,962 --> 00:02:07,664 and then she and I would have to go for a little "walk." 43 00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:11,785 - You wouldn't. - Sure, Dick, of course I wouldn't. 44 00:02:16,055 --> 00:02:18,962 Fine, she's never going to find out. I'm not going to let her find out. 45 00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:20,780 Oh well that's good. You can base your entire marriage 46 00:02:20,828 --> 00:02:23,074 on one horrible, gigantic lie. 47 00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,605 Well, for a start. 48 00:02:58,634 --> 00:02:59,415 Ooh. 49 00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:01,534 I dropped my toast point. 50 00:03:01,684 --> 00:03:06,182 No....allow me, my petit fromage. 51 00:03:07,699 --> 00:03:09,474 Ow,ow, ow! 52 00:03:09,892 --> 00:03:12,409 It's hot, extremely hot! 53 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,380 Champagne? 54 00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:23,865 Mary... 55 00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:29,342 there comes a time in every woman's life 56 00:03:29,844 --> 00:03:32,254 when she has to decide whether or not to go to Borneo. 57 00:03:32,615 --> 00:03:34,070 Dick? I've already made my decision. 58 00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:36,825 - And that decision was? - To go to Borneo. 59 00:03:36,932 --> 00:03:38,087 Oh, right. 60 00:03:38,415 --> 00:03:39,893 Right. Mary... 61 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,369 there's something I have to ask you. 62 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,548 I may not be a rich man, I may not be a young man, 63 00:03:46,849 --> 00:03:48,770 I may not be a fireman, 64 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,487 but I am a man who cares about you very deeply, 65 00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:56,130 and I can't bear the thought of you... 66 00:03:56,564 --> 00:03:58,170 going away for a whole year. 67 00:03:58,757 --> 00:04:00,354 It's going to be hard for me, too. 68 00:04:00,395 --> 00:04:03,554 Then why did you apply for this Borneo trip in the first place? 69 00:04:03,931 --> 00:04:06,058 I applied before we were... 70 00:04:06,232 --> 00:04:08,896 - sleeping together? - No, we were sleeping together. 71 00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:11,753 I just wasn't sure if we were serious. 72 00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:14,090 Have you ever slept with someone you weren't serious about? 73 00:04:15,643 --> 00:04:17,912 No. The point is, we are. 74 00:04:17,984 --> 00:04:20,068 - Sleeping together? - Serious. 75 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,145 I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner, 76 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:24,593 because there shouldn't be any secrets between us. 77 00:04:25,159 --> 00:04:28,056 Well, maybe a few secrets 78 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,816 - just to keep things interesting. - Ooh, no, 79 00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:33,792 because a relationship is built on honesty. 80 00:04:34,348 --> 00:04:36,757 Ok look, I'll let you have five little secrets 81 00:04:36,846 --> 00:04:39,874 if you can let me have one really big one. 82 00:04:41,753 --> 00:04:43,614 No, Dick, it doesn't work that way. 83 00:04:43,964 --> 00:04:46,706 And, besides, sooner or later, 84 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,503 we'll find out everything about each other. 85 00:04:51,939 --> 00:04:53,529 Was there something you were going to say? 86 00:04:53,687 --> 00:04:54,325 Mary?.. 87 00:04:55,555 --> 00:04:58,003 Promise me if Sally ever asks you to take a little walk... 88 00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:00,709 You'll run ! 89 00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:40,876 The door. The door. 90 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,387 There's got to be a door, there's got to be a door ! 91 00:05:47,783 --> 00:05:49,769 Good morning, Dr. Solomon. 92 00:05:50,102 --> 00:05:51,708 Good morning, Nina. 93 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:54,277 Get me a cup of coffee? 94 00:05:58,217 --> 00:05:59,329 Dr. Solomon, 95 00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,872 - you know why you've been brought here? 96 00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,209 Gentlemen. 97 00:06:14,565 --> 00:06:16,893 - Where are you taking me? - To the truth room. 98 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:20,109 Actually, I need to go to the bathroom. This is scary. 99 00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:46,629 I'll tell you what you want to know! 100 00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:49,823 I'll tell you the truth, I promise! 101 00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:54,725 Of course you will, Dr. Solomon. 102 00:06:55,268 --> 00:06:57,376 Please... sit. 103 00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:05,828 What are you doing? 104 00:07:05,905 --> 00:07:08,649 I am going to torture you until you talk. 105 00:07:08,953 --> 00:07:12,013 - Mary, you? - Why do you think they call me 106 00:07:12,078 --> 00:07:14,031 Dr. Albright? 107 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:17,070 But first, I sing a little song 108 00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:18,933 I write this morning. 109 00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,475 ♪ Falling in love again ♪ 110 00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:24,932 ♪ never wanted to ♪ 111 00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:27,342 ♪ what am I to do? ♪ 112 00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:29,294 ♪ Can't help it. ♪ 113 00:07:35,632 --> 00:07:37,683 Oh, Dick, look at us. 114 00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:40,919 I know you're keeping something from me. 115 00:07:43,335 --> 00:07:45,058 Please, you're safe. 116 00:07:45,569 --> 00:07:47,876 You don't have to pretend anymore. 117 00:07:48,758 --> 00:07:50,043 All right Mary, 118 00:07:51,163 --> 00:07:52,311 I'm an alien. 119 00:07:52,616 --> 00:07:54,775 - That's wonderful! - It is? 120 00:07:55,157 --> 00:07:56,544 Yes, because... 121 00:07:56,569 --> 00:07:58,948 I'm an Alien, too. 122 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,529 No, not jell-O. 123 00:08:38,554 --> 00:08:41,801 Not jell-ooooo! 124 00:08:53,259 --> 00:08:55,026 Run from the jell-o! Run from the jell-o! 125 00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:56,302 Dick! What's going on? 126 00:08:56,414 --> 00:08:58,367 - Jell-o everywhere! 127 00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:02,149 Get off the bed! You'll crush Mary! Mary, I'm coming! 128 00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:04,663 I'm coming to get you! 129 00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,403 - Mary! - Dick, calm down. 130 00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:10,724 There's no Mary here. There's no jell-O. There's only you. 131 00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:13,248 I-I-I don't know what happened. 132 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:16,761 All I know is, if I had a Mommy, I'd want her right now. 133 00:09:18,381 --> 00:09:20,231 Have any of you ever had your sleep invaded 134 00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:23,911 by scary and almost metaphorical images you can't control? 135 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,710 - No. - Oh, wait! 136 00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:28,011 No. 137 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,621 Well, then what's wrong with me? 138 00:09:30,826 --> 00:09:33,692 Well, August's uncle once had a complete mental breakdown, 139 00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:36,107 - and he went to a psychiatrist. - A psycho-who-a-what? 140 00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:39,034 You know what a psychiatrist is. 141 00:09:39,059 --> 00:09:41,273 I know. I'm just so nervous. 142 00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:49,009 Don, what happens to people? 143 00:09:49,134 --> 00:09:52,070 Are they born bad, or one day do their minds just snap? 144 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,019 If only we knew, Sally. 145 00:09:54,298 --> 00:09:56,923 One minute, little johnny normal is on his paper route. 146 00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:59,921 The next minute, there's a pile of dead bank guards, 147 00:09:59,946 --> 00:10:02,811 and johnny is using grandma as a human shield. 148 00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:05,434 So it's true, then? 149 00:10:05,579 --> 00:10:09,020 You just go to bed normal, and you wake up a deranged psychopath? 150 00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:11,558 It happens. Here. 151 00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:13,803 Take a look at this creep, Sally. 152 00:10:14,108 --> 00:10:16,713 Karl Borskey, wanted for grand theft auto 153 00:10:16,738 --> 00:10:19,006 in Dayton, Sandusky, and Greater Wapakoneta, 154 00:10:19,082 --> 00:10:21,321 and now believed to be here in Rutherford. 155 00:10:21,525 --> 00:10:24,387 I nab this dirtbag, I make detective. 156 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:27,366 This guy's mine, all mine. 157 00:10:27,592 --> 00:10:29,612 But you still like girls, right, Don? 158 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,813 - Damn straight, sugar. - Good. 159 00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:39,606 Oh, no. 160 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,427 No, no, no, it can't be. 161 00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:44,444 It's 1994! 162 00:10:46,431 --> 00:10:48,266 They're just old magazines. 163 00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:49,631 Oh. 164 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,375 For a hundred bucks an hour, you'd think 165 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,385 he could renew a subscription. 166 00:10:56,962 --> 00:10:58,065 So, why are you here, Dick? 167 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,344 You know, just a checkup. 168 00:10:59,376 --> 00:11:02,763 I thought you could give my brain a quick once-over. No biggie. 169 00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:05,736 - Has something been troubling you? - Nothing, nothing at all. 170 00:11:05,761 --> 00:11:08,754 How about you? You seem tense. Can I get you something? 171 00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:11,103 Dick, you're holding back. 172 00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,111 Now, anything said in this room 173 00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:15,515 - is absolutely confidential. - Really? 174 00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:22,104 I don't belong on this planet. I'm an alien from another galaxy. 175 00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:24,050 The warranty on my brain just expired, 176 00:11:24,075 --> 00:11:26,288 and I'm scared to get married! 177 00:11:28,443 --> 00:11:30,396 That's a start. 178 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,326 At first, all Sally ever did was complain 179 00:11:37,351 --> 00:11:39,411 about how I forced her to become a woman, 180 00:11:39,436 --> 00:11:41,877 but now all the time it's "look at my body. 181 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,823 I am so hot." 182 00:11:45,899 --> 00:11:47,277 This is your Daughter? 183 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,269 Sally? No, she's my Sister. 184 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,760 I'm sorry. It's just that she's... 20 years younger than you. 185 00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:56,239 Do you think I should make her be my Daughter? Because that's doable. 186 00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:58,449 I think we'll talk about this later Dick, 187 00:11:58,474 --> 00:12:00,411 the hour's up. We have to end this session. 188 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:04,031 - So, I'm all better? - Well, I don't deal in a world of better. 189 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,717 I don't speak that language. 190 00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:07,931 But, no, you're not even close to better. 191 00:12:09,782 --> 00:12:12,884 Right now, I'm going to prescribe these pills. They're called placion. 192 00:12:12,909 --> 00:12:14,959 - Will they grow my hair back? - No... 193 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,523 although they do occasionally cause male lactation. 194 00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,971 They'll take the edge off, help you deal with some of your anxiety. 195 00:12:21,996 --> 00:12:24,275 - We'll see you next week. - All right. 196 00:12:24,688 --> 00:12:26,378 - So what did he do? - Nothing. 197 00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,881 He didn't even open up my head. 198 00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:31,745 He just gave me these little pills. 199 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,158 Just as I suspected.. nothing. 200 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,811 - Dick. - Hello, my love. 201 00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:52,784 I had a wonderful time last night. 202 00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:55,179 It made me realize that.. 203 00:12:55,476 --> 00:12:56,719 ..what we have. 204 00:12:57,268 --> 00:12:58,631 And I've come to a decision. 205 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,290 - I'm not going to Borneo. - That's too bad. 206 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,623 - I thought you wanted me to stay. - Then stay. 207 00:13:05,805 --> 00:13:08,112 - Do you want me to stay or not? - Oh, whatever. 208 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:12,013 Maybe I will go to Borneo, after all. 209 00:13:12,398 --> 00:13:14,355 You know, Borneo, 210 00:13:14,692 --> 00:13:17,220 where the sun gets so hot, the dress code is naked, 211 00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:19,802 because if you don't care, I don't care. 212 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,779 Of course I care. I love you, 213 00:13:23,246 --> 00:13:26,067 and I love knotty pine, and sherbet, 214 00:13:26,534 --> 00:13:28,085 dryer-fresh towels, 215 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,070 and those clips that keep snack chips fresh. 216 00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:34,412 So when you go, I'll have four 217 00:13:34,437 --> 00:13:36,642 of the five things that I love. 218 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:38,742 Fine. 219 00:13:39,455 --> 00:13:40,690 I'll send you a postcard. 220 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,437 Oh, right. 221 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,178 I love postcards, too. 222 00:13:49,791 --> 00:13:51,577 Hey, get me away from this wacko. 223 00:13:51,602 --> 00:13:53,974 - Shut up! - Sally, what are you doing? 224 00:13:54,528 --> 00:13:56,490 Look who I caught squeezing the Charmin. 225 00:13:57,743 --> 00:13:59,561 But Sally, that isn't against the law. 226 00:13:59,768 --> 00:14:01,021 - It's Karl Borskey. 227 00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:06,229 Yes, I know it's Karl Borskey. Lock him up. 228 00:14:06,373 --> 00:14:08,627 Careful with those pantyhose. They're dkny. 229 00:14:10,524 --> 00:14:11,683 So, Don... 230 00:14:12,562 --> 00:14:15,769 you want to buy a doughnut for the gal who just made you detective? 231 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,909 I'm not in the mood for doughnuts. 232 00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,502 - No doughnuts, Don? - No. 233 00:14:21,753 --> 00:14:22,748 What's wrong? 234 00:14:23,264 --> 00:14:24,924 A man isn't a man 235 00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,766 if he doesn't have respect. 236 00:14:27,328 --> 00:14:29,152 Borskey should have been mine, Sally. 237 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,499 It was just a fluke Don. 238 00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:33,780 If you had run out of toilet paper, you could have caught him. 239 00:14:34,636 --> 00:14:37,098 You know what the sick irony is, Sally? 240 00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:39,777 I am out of toilet paper. 241 00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:47,769 - So, Harry, you got any threes? - Go fish. 242 00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:50,854 - How was work today, Dick? - Oh, just fine. 243 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:53,505 - How'd it go with Albright? - Oh, just fine. 244 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,630 How would it feel to have broken glass rubbed in your eyes? 245 00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,843 - Just fine. - Dick? 246 00:14:59,947 --> 00:15:01,166 Just fine. 247 00:15:02,098 --> 00:15:05,036 Dick, exactly what did this psychiatrist do to you? 248 00:15:05,161 --> 00:15:07,929 We chatted a bit, and he put everything in order. 249 00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:10,914 - By the way, Sally, you're now my Daughter. - I'm what? 250 00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,499 - Snap out of it. - My Sister. My Daughter. 251 00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:15,369 My Sister. My Daughter. 252 00:15:15,845 --> 00:15:17,667 My Sister and my Daughter. 253 00:15:18,957 --> 00:15:21,062 Tommy, do you have any nines? 254 00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:24,071 - Go fish. - I don't mind if I do. I love fish. 255 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,228 Wait. No, Dick, you're not actually supposed to go fishing! 256 00:15:25,269 --> 00:15:27,101 Let him go. Let him go. 257 00:15:27,601 --> 00:15:29,737 Okay, This is scaring me. This is getting worse. 258 00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:32,118 - You got to call the big giant head. - No. 259 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,577 Only the High Commander has that authority. 260 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:38,342 Dick is out of commission. As second in command, I order you to call him "NOW" 261 00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:41,726 Okay, fine, but I'm not broadcasting in stereo. 262 00:15:42,773 --> 00:15:46,354 A man's got to have his limit.. 263 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,501 You have reached the transmitting signal 264 00:15:48,526 --> 00:15:49,865 for the big giant head. 265 00:15:50,028 --> 00:15:52,472 All big giant's circuits are busy right now. 266 00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:54,839 Please stay on the line. 267 00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,848 Oh, Donatello, 268 00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:12,301 you fill my life with danger and fire. 269 00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:13,752 Sally, 270 00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:17,891 - you scare-a the hell out of me. - Shut up and dance. 271 00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:05,314 - What is the meaning of this? - Uh, Sally, I... 272 00:19:12,489 --> 00:19:14,236 - I should have told you. 273 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:17,546 - I'm a chicken. - A chicken? 274 00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:19,697 No. No! 275 00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:20,999 Sì. 276 00:19:22,643 --> 00:19:25,801 I could never give myself to poultry. 277 00:19:26,848 --> 00:19:29,094 Sally, no,......no. 278 00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:49,992 Donatello. Donatello! 279 00:19:50,174 --> 00:19:52,061 How could I? 280 00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:10,952 - What? What's wrong? 281 00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:12,730 Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all. 282 00:20:12,855 --> 00:20:15,308 I just had a great night's sleep. No problems here. 283 00:20:15,634 --> 00:20:18,023 - How would you like your bass? - You know what? 284 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,352 I got to go. Uh... there's a big sale. 285 00:20:20,455 --> 00:20:21,857 Yeah, a sale on... potatoes! 286 00:20:21,882 --> 00:20:24,063 Big potato sale, potato chip sale. 287 00:20:24,429 --> 00:20:26,870 Stop staring at me! 288 00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:30,861 Mmm, bass and potato chips. 289 00:20:33,678 --> 00:20:35,665 And then there were two. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net