1 00:00:03,788 --> 00:00:06,864 Nina! This needs to go out right away! 2 00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:09,120 - What's so urgent? - It's the phone company survey. 3 00:00:09,169 --> 00:00:12,313 I'm very satisfied with my service. Nina! 4 00:00:12,863 --> 00:00:15,083 - Mail this. - I'll do it on my way out. 5 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:17,492 - I've got a blind date. - Well, that's exciting. 6 00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:19,485 Why, is he driving? 7 00:00:20,623 --> 00:00:23,728 It doesn't matter. You'll have to cancel. We have too much work to do. 8 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,915 Why now? You haven't done any work in two days. 9 00:00:25,963 --> 00:00:28,198 I know. And now I'm paying for it. 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,552 If you want, you can invite your blind date here 11 00:00:30,591 --> 00:00:33,732 and tell him it's a disco. That's the best I can do. 12 00:00:34,627 --> 00:00:36,356 Can't this wait until tomorrow? 13 00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:38,563 No, Nina. You're paid to do my bidding. 14 00:00:38,797 --> 00:00:41,151 - I was never paid to work for you. - What? 15 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,094 I am Dr. Albright's assistant. 16 00:00:43,119 --> 00:00:44,823 When you showed up, they doubled my workload, 17 00:00:44,848 --> 00:00:47,711 and the only raise I got was the privilege of working for you. 18 00:00:48,093 --> 00:00:49,574 I think you're starting to take that privilege 19 00:00:49,599 --> 00:00:50,990 a little for granted. 20 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,559 You know, you're right. I don't deserve you. I quit. 21 00:00:55,584 --> 00:00:57,604 - What? - Nina, you can't quit. I need you. 22 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:58,705 Let her go! 23 00:00:59,821 --> 00:01:02,119 I guarantee you'll never work in this town again. 24 00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:06,235 I'm still working for Dr. Albright. I'm just quitting you. 25 00:01:06,322 --> 00:01:09,690 Oh, no. No, no. No, that's not how it works. 26 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,742 We're a package. You quit one of us, you quit us both. 27 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,123 - Isn't that right, Mary? - See you in the morning, Nina. 28 00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:16,383 Ha! 29 00:01:32,732 --> 00:01:36,164 Harry, I have great news. You're going to be my new assistant. 30 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:37,291 Whoa! 31 00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:41,222 Assistant high commander Harry. 32 00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:44,339 - I knew this day would come. - No, Harry, 33 00:01:44,364 --> 00:01:45,894 my office assistant. 34 00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:48,801 You'll find me to be an easy person to work for. 35 00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:50,990 My demands are simple. 36 00:01:51,064 --> 00:01:52,740 Simply someone who understands 37 00:01:52,765 --> 00:01:54,534 that working for me is in and of itself 38 00:01:54,559 --> 00:01:55,754 a reason to live. 39 00:01:57,537 --> 00:01:59,837 Well, It seems like I should be paying you. 40 00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:03,661 I considered that, but it's impossible. 41 00:02:03,686 --> 00:02:05,312 You'll be making virtually nothing. 42 00:02:06,288 --> 00:02:08,803 You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. 43 00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:11,157 - You've sent out mail before. - Nope. 44 00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:14,745 - Well, you've stapled before. - I have not. 45 00:02:16,478 --> 00:02:17,961 Well, surely you've used a paper clip. 46 00:02:17,986 --> 00:02:20,576 You mean those cotton things you put in your ears? 47 00:02:22,702 --> 00:02:24,235 How many fingers am I holding up? 48 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:26,365 - Two. - You're hired. 49 00:02:58,842 --> 00:03:00,255 Have some tea. 50 00:03:01,356 --> 00:03:03,401 Um... there's no tea in here. 51 00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,198 It's pink tea, and it's good tea. 52 00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:10,752 Kid, did you fall off the jungle gym or what? 53 00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:13,158 What's going on? 54 00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,823 I'm watching Dubcek's illegitimate grandkid. 55 00:03:18,343 --> 00:03:20,836 - You're late for tea. - Sorry. 56 00:03:24,688 --> 00:03:26,695 There's no actual tea, right? 57 00:03:28,128 --> 00:03:30,113 It's pink tea, and it's good tea. 58 00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:33,716 - The cake is pink, too. - The cake is pink, too. 59 00:03:34,892 --> 00:03:37,078 All right, maybe this is tea, 60 00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:39,143 but this is definitely not cake. 61 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,832 Hi, Harry. What are you doing here? 62 00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:00,251 I work here. 63 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,373 Oh, you're Dick's new assistant. 64 00:04:03,398 --> 00:04:04,326 Yes, sir, 65 00:04:04,756 --> 00:04:06,130 I'm the new guy. 66 00:04:07,035 --> 00:04:09,756 You know, at first, no one likes the new guy. 67 00:04:09,964 --> 00:04:12,240 People are threatened by the new guy, 68 00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:15,539 but other people are secretly attracted to the new guy. 69 00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:21,696 Hello, Mr. Dr. Solomon, Sir. Welcome back. 70 00:04:21,911 --> 00:04:22,853 "Welcome back." 71 00:04:23,457 --> 00:04:26,127 Harry, unlike Nina, you are a gentleman. 72 00:04:28,765 --> 00:04:30,331 Here are your mail and your messages. 73 00:04:30,356 --> 00:04:33,141 I've already taken care of the first two, and I restocked your stationery. 74 00:04:33,435 --> 00:04:36,032 - Thank you, Nina. - Harry, did I get any phone calls? 75 00:04:36,057 --> 00:04:37,827 Oh, yes. It rang repeatedly. 76 00:04:39,702 --> 00:04:42,509 And, um... who called? 77 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,884 Well, I don't know. I'm not clairvoyant. 78 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,838 Of course not. But I'm sure you filed my midterms. 79 00:04:50,863 --> 00:04:51,727 No... 80 00:04:52,561 --> 00:04:55,249 but I did pre-lick all your stamps... 81 00:04:57,581 --> 00:04:58,986 and I have placed them here 82 00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:01,388 on your filing cabinet for your convenience. 83 00:05:05,497 --> 00:05:07,013 Nice work, Harry. 84 00:05:07,966 --> 00:05:10,126 Now, when I want to mail a letter, 85 00:05:10,151 --> 00:05:12,645 I'll just steam, scrape, and tape. 86 00:05:16,552 --> 00:05:18,431 So, anyway, she looks at me, 87 00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:21,361 and she says, "it's pink tea, and it's good tea." 88 00:05:21,609 --> 00:05:23,258 Oh, that's so sweet. 89 00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:25,484 I'm not done with the story. It was imaginary tea. 90 00:05:25,773 --> 00:05:28,364 - Did she serve imaginary cake and muffins? - Yes! 91 00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:30,596 That's so cute! 92 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:34,903 Is there some sort of imaginary bakery I'm missing out on? 93 00:05:35,074 --> 00:05:37,610 Oh, I always had Barbie tea parties. 94 00:05:37,822 --> 00:05:40,186 Oh, Barbie.. blond hair, 95 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:41,898 tiny waist, legs up to her neck. 96 00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:44,540 - Who grows up to look like that? - Yeah, who? 97 00:05:44,565 --> 00:05:45,589 Yeah, who? 98 00:05:49,927 --> 00:05:52,550 Why did everything seem possible at that age? 99 00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:56,990 - Did you ever do your best friend's hair? - Yes. 100 00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:59,627 - Did you ever play dress-up? - Wearing your mother's clothes? 101 00:05:59,823 --> 00:06:01,242 My brother Roy did that. 102 00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,628 - Ballet lessons?...... oh, ballet! 103 00:06:05,653 --> 00:06:07,369 Ballet! 104 00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:09,354 On my recital night, 105 00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:10,921 I felt like Cinderella. 106 00:06:11,184 --> 00:06:13,660 Of course, I looked like one of the hippos in "fantasia." 107 00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:15,654 Yeah, me.. 108 00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:17,471 no, I... I looked cute. 109 00:06:18,556 --> 00:06:21,692 So, remember when we used to do... what? 110 00:06:23,988 --> 00:06:26,050 I can still remember taking my bow. 111 00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:28,632 My dad gave me a single white rose. 112 00:06:28,718 --> 00:06:30,535 I was his little princess. 113 00:06:31,364 --> 00:06:32,939 I want my childhood. 114 00:06:34,918 --> 00:06:36,666 Don't we all? 115 00:06:40,658 --> 00:06:42,662 - Tommy! I'm not coming out. 116 00:06:42,797 --> 00:06:44,355 I want to play Barbie. 117 00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:57,918 I feel like Tommy longstocking. 118 00:06:58,862 --> 00:07:00,716 That's what I was going for. 119 00:07:01,057 --> 00:07:02,999 Now sit down. You're ken. 120 00:07:07,074 --> 00:07:09,734 Okay, ken, so what do you want to do today? 121 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:12,608 Hmm, nothing that involves bending my knees or elbows. 122 00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:17,481 Okay, well, have a great day at work. 123 00:07:17,599 --> 00:07:20,285 I will. And while there, I'll earn 25% more than you 124 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:21,337 because I'm a man. 125 00:07:22,823 --> 00:07:24,354 That's not fair. 126 00:07:24,472 --> 00:07:26,899 I'm going to sue you in Malibu dream court. 127 00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:30,798 Don't get your mink in a bunch, precious. 128 00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:32,788 Well, now you're talking down to me. 129 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,315 So now I have to rip your head off. 130 00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:40,404 You don't play right. 131 00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:43,878 Baby. You forgot your head. 132 00:07:43,903 --> 00:07:44,666 Shut up! 133 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,371 So, Dick, you know what I overheard 134 00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,147 - at the water cooler? - What? 135 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,451 That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler. 136 00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:59,200 Dick, I'm so glad you're home. Read that. 137 00:07:59,252 --> 00:08:01,810 An application to little miss slippers ballet academy? 138 00:08:01,835 --> 00:08:03,600 Yeah. I really need ballet lessons. 139 00:08:03,646 --> 00:08:05,751 - It's imperative to my mission. - Can you get in? 140 00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:08,746 - Do you have $150? - For this? 141 00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:12,044 - Don't make me beg. - No, lieutenant. 142 00:08:12,328 --> 00:08:17,431 Ple-eeeease! 143 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,460 All right! 144 00:08:19,283 --> 00:08:19,920 Enjoy. 145 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,705 I'm going to be the best damn ballerina in that whole class! 146 00:08:26,218 --> 00:08:28,601 Ooh! My boyfriend drives a camaro. 147 00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:31,315 - Ooh! Ooh! - Harry, get up! 148 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,283 Yes, sir. 149 00:08:38,992 --> 00:08:40,876 - I want to talk to you about work today. - Oh! 150 00:08:41,214 --> 00:08:43,624 It was the greatest day of my life. 151 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,647 - It was a disaster. - I'm glad it's over. 152 00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:47,934 - Now I can stop pretending. - Hold it right there. 153 00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:50,468 There's going to be some changes around here Harry. 154 00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:54,099 From now on, your desk will be your girlfriend. Her name will be Lucille. 155 00:08:54,131 --> 00:08:55,631 She will be the only woman in your life. 156 00:08:56,988 --> 00:08:58,545 Dick, I don't like you like this. 157 00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:01,518 I don't want you to like me because liking leads to loving, 158 00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:04,198 and loving leads to reproduction , and nobody reproduces with me! 159 00:09:04,355 --> 00:09:05,915 - Understood? - Yes, sir. 160 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:07,657 Now get some sleep. 161 00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:10,807 Starting tomorrow, I'm going to whip you into shape. 162 00:09:13,741 --> 00:09:16,112 Okay, but don't touch the face 163 00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,246 'cause I'm a pretty man. 164 00:09:24,103 --> 00:09:25,753 Harry! 165 00:09:27,754 --> 00:09:30,802 - My pencils are dull. - Talk to Dr. Albright instead. 166 00:09:30,864 --> 00:09:32,711 She's riveting. 167 00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:35,409 Thank you, Harry. 168 00:09:36,346 --> 00:09:39,261 Sharpen these. That's eight pencils at seven seconds each. 169 00:09:39,389 --> 00:09:41,962 And I want a progress report typed and on my desk in 50 seconds. 170 00:09:41,987 --> 00:09:44,577 Now go, go, go, go, go, go! 171 00:09:44,812 --> 00:09:47,683 - Harry-- - Not now, Nina. I'm on a deadline. 172 00:09:48,479 --> 00:09:50,397 Don't you think Dr. Solomon's making 173 00:09:50,437 --> 00:09:52,105 some unreasonable demands of you? 174 00:09:52,173 --> 00:09:54,408 - Don't be silly. - Harry! 175 00:09:56,347 --> 00:09:58,890 Pee in this cup. I want to see if you've been eating my mints. 176 00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:06,949 It's fine. Dick's just trying 177 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,859 to whip me into a first-class assistant. 178 00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,982 Look, next time he starts to get on your case, 179 00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:14,398 you tell him to talk to the hand. Talk to the hand. 180 00:10:14,737 --> 00:10:18,313 - Well, I don't know. - Harry, get out here.. now! 181 00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:21,348 - Why is my out box full? - Because the mail just came in. 182 00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:22,957 Why did you put it in the out box? 183 00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:24,505 Because it came out of the mail. 184 00:10:26,276 --> 00:10:27,949 Why is my letter to the Dean in the in box? 185 00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:31,645 The Dean won't be back till tomorrow , but once he's in, the in goes out. 186 00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:34,421 Things in the out box are going out. 187 00:10:34,446 --> 00:10:36,777 Well, why don't we just get one big box? 188 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,862 That way we'll put everything in there. 189 00:10:39,018 --> 00:10:42,682 - I mean, that's 50% less box. - That's not how it's done. 190 00:10:42,707 --> 00:10:44,613 Harry anyone with half a brain could do this job. 191 00:10:44,638 --> 00:10:46,063 What is your problem? 192 00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:50,679 - Dick? - Yes. 193 00:10:52,165 --> 00:10:54,044 Talk to the hand. 194 00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:28,645 Dick. Dick, look at me. 195 00:11:28,765 --> 00:11:31,054 Just try to keep your foot out of the egg salad. 196 00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,753 Look at me. Look what I learned Dick. 197 00:11:39,096 --> 00:11:39,902 Look. 198 00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:43,426 Ohhhhh....... Good. 199 00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:44,690 They taught you to squat. 200 00:11:47,563 --> 00:11:49,021 Money well spent. 201 00:11:49,663 --> 00:11:52,322 It's not a squat.... it's a Plié. 202 00:11:52,648 --> 00:11:54,492 - What's a Plié? - A French squat. 203 00:11:55,936 --> 00:11:57,699 I'm practicing for my recital. 204 00:11:57,921 --> 00:12:00,091 I'm so excited. Everybody's parents will be.. 205 00:12:02,537 --> 00:12:05,546 - Sally-- - Ooh, Tommy! 206 00:12:10,609 --> 00:12:13,296 Oh, Tommy, you are stylin'. 207 00:12:13,321 --> 00:12:16,268 Yeah, thank you. Will you please fix what you've done to my head? 208 00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:18,464 No, but I will let you borrow some of my barrettes. 209 00:12:19,195 --> 00:12:20,444 Well, that'll look better. 210 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,595 Dick? I cannot wait for you to see the recital. 211 00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:25,787 I do a pirouette at the end. 212 00:12:25,851 --> 00:12:27,999 and the teacher says I look like a drunk bear. 213 00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:31,032 I'll be there. 214 00:12:31,305 --> 00:12:33,627 Look at me, damn it! I'm your little princess! 215 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,483 Aw! You look 216 00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:38,779 beautiful! 217 00:12:39,013 --> 00:12:40,924 Thank you. Come on, Tommy. 218 00:12:40,949 --> 00:12:42,845 - I need you for the pas De deux. - What the hell? 219 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:45,169 - Harry, come watch me practice! - Sorry, Sally. 220 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:48,270 I have to sit here and silently glare at Dick. 221 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,858 Am I going to have an emotional outburst, 222 00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,035 - or are you? - You just did. 223 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,625 - I did not! - Ah-ha! 224 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,079 Harry, I hired you to replace Nina, 225 00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:07,703 but instead she's turned you into her sassy doppelgänger. 226 00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:10,433 - Is that right? - That's right. 227 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:11,406 You think so? - I do. 228 00:13:11,587 --> 00:13:13,140 - Well you know what? - What? 229 00:13:13,228 --> 00:13:16,208 I'm not taking it anymore. The carnival is leaving Dicksville. 230 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:18,793 - I quit! - You can't quit. You're fired. 231 00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:20,761 No-Ooo! 232 00:13:28,277 --> 00:13:30,219 I'm sorry things didn't work out, 233 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,135 but best of luck in your future endeavors. 234 00:13:33,136 --> 00:13:35,370 - Okay, see you tonight. - All right. 235 00:13:37,712 --> 00:13:40,951 Does this mean you've come to your senses, and you're going to apologize to Nina? 236 00:13:40,976 --> 00:13:43,144 No, I will never come to my senses. 237 00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:48,328 I don't need Nina. I don't need Harry. I don't need anybody. 238 00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:50,789 From now on, I'm going to be my own assistant. 239 00:13:52,895 --> 00:13:54,676 Hello. 240 00:13:54,677 --> 00:13:57,008 Yes, I'll be at the seminar. 241 00:13:57,009 --> 00:14:00,636 I don't know about Dr. Solomon. Hold on a second. Dick? 242 00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:03,260 Transfer it to my assistant, please. 243 00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:04,848 Okay. 244 00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,738 Dr. Solomon's line. Who's calling, please? 245 00:14:13,154 --> 00:14:16,198 Uh... I'll ask him. The seminar? Yes. 246 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,718 I'll ask him and get back to you this afternoon. 247 00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:21,271 - Dr. Solomon's line. 248 00:14:21,272 --> 00:14:22,591 Who's calling, please? 249 00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:24,910 Hold on, please. I'll transfer you. 250 00:14:30,676 --> 00:14:32,792 This is Dick Solomon. How can I help you? 251 00:14:33,842 --> 00:14:36,205 No, no, no, you want Dick Sullivan 252 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:37,490 in the English department. 253 00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:40,801 Transfer you? I'm already doing the job of two men. 254 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:43,091 Next time, pick up a phone book, you moron! 255 00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:51,150 - Dick, I think your phone's ringing. 256 00:14:54,355 --> 00:14:55,838 Dick Solomon's line. Who's calling? 257 00:14:56,207 --> 00:14:58,587 This is Luella from the Dean's office. 258 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,717 Please tell Dr. Solomon we need 259 00:15:00,742 --> 00:15:03,915 copies of all past purchase orders for the past 18 months. 260 00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:04,737 Uh, uh... 261 00:15:04,911 --> 00:15:06,246 purchase orders? 262 00:15:06,271 --> 00:15:08,594 Uh, yes, I dropped them off this morning. 263 00:15:08,899 --> 00:15:11,554 You never dropped those off ! You lie! How do you know? 264 00:15:11,579 --> 00:15:13,835 You weren't even there. I can tell just by looking at you. 265 00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:16,062 I can't work like this. Obviously not. 266 00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:17,966 Such mistrust! Well, get out, then! 267 00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,901 Fine! I will! 268 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:24,343 Not so easy, is it, Dick? 269 00:15:24,935 --> 00:15:26,138 On the contrary. 270 00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:28,725 All I have to do now is... 271 00:15:29,043 --> 00:15:30,986 take Dr. Solomon's exam 272 00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:33,050 to his 10:00 class. 273 00:15:35,913 --> 00:15:38,343 There's only one here. I have 30 students. 274 00:15:38,711 --> 00:15:40,204 Well, that's funny. 275 00:15:40,555 --> 00:15:42,595 They usually duplicate themselves. 276 00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:47,506 No, wait. Nina always made the copies. 277 00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,236 Oh, Nina made the copies, huh? 278 00:15:50,609 --> 00:15:51,951 Then I can make the copies. 279 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,495 I'll just take this paper 280 00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:56,974 and walk out this door 281 00:15:57,030 --> 00:16:00,041 and turn to the, uh... 282 00:16:00,075 --> 00:16:02,309 - the right. - Yes, I knew that. 283 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,613 And then walk right into the, uh... 284 00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:07,773 third door on the left. 285 00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:10,525 Don't patronize me. 286 00:16:12,676 --> 00:16:14,200 It says "xerox" on it. 287 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:17,766 Obviously. 288 00:16:22,699 --> 00:16:24,556 Okay. 289 00:16:24,557 --> 00:16:27,374 I put this under here, 290 00:16:28,508 --> 00:16:31,553 press this, enter the number "30," 291 00:16:31,554 --> 00:16:33,691 and start. 292 00:16:36,315 --> 00:16:37,425 Piece of cake. 293 00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:44,220 "Paper jam"? 294 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:46,342 Okay, fine. 295 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,356 I just press this, 296 00:16:49,045 --> 00:16:50,954 open this, 297 00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:53,164 remove the paper, 298 00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:56,656 and press this and "start." 299 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:00,761 "Now see key operator." 300 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,798 Well, that's me. I'm operating the keys. 301 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,700 Me! Damn you! 302 00:17:07,623 --> 00:17:10,051 I'm going to press "cancel." Is that what you want? 303 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:11,850 - 'Cause I'll do it. I'll press it. 304 00:17:13,177 --> 00:17:15,547 - Stop it! Damn you! 305 00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:22,501 I'm going to beat you with your own toner cartridge! 306 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,368 There's my daddy. 307 00:17:32,735 --> 00:17:34,237 There's my daddy. 308 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:35,943 Dick? 309 00:17:38,327 --> 00:17:39,447 Dick? 310 00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,727 Her daddy's not here. 311 00:17:41,752 --> 00:17:43,954 Her daddy's a bad man. 312 00:17:55,681 --> 00:17:57,720 Dr. Solomon! 313 00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:00,575 What happened to you? 314 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,579 - Oh, Nina, I was so... - Oh, no, no, no, no! 315 00:18:04,055 --> 00:18:05,015 Uh-uh! 316 00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:07,554 I thought I didn't need anyone, but I do. I need you. 317 00:18:07,579 --> 00:18:09,342 - Get off the carpet. - Why? 318 00:18:10,606 --> 00:18:12,305 Don't sit there. 319 00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:13,698 Nina. 320 00:18:15,149 --> 00:18:16,736 Nina, your place is beautiful. 321 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,956 Oh, no! 322 00:18:19,107 --> 00:18:20,270 But where are your file cabinets, 323 00:18:20,295 --> 00:18:22,238 your pencil sharpeners, your office furniture? 324 00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:26,215 You think the only Nina that you see exists in the office? 325 00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,646 You're wrong. There's another Nina. 326 00:18:28,897 --> 00:18:30,485 Will she work for me? 327 00:18:31,932 --> 00:18:35,592 You don't respect me. If you want me to work for you, I need your respect. 328 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,741 Nina... I respect you. 329 00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,011 - I don't believe you. - What do you want me to do? 330 00:18:40,044 --> 00:18:43,120 - Crawl on my hands and knees? - Oh no! Get up! 331 00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:45,266 No, you respect-- okay, I'll come back. 332 00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:47,798 - Oh, Nina, thank you! 333 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,314 I'll see you at the office. 334 00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:04,139 Gypped. All I wanted was a normal childhood, 335 00:19:04,164 --> 00:19:06,430 but Dick just couldn't let me have one. 336 00:19:06,455 --> 00:19:08,486 I felt so humiliated. 337 00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:11,852 I bet when you looked out into that audience and you didn't see Dick there, 338 00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:14,144 - you felt like your heart was torn out. - Yeah. 339 00:19:14,768 --> 00:19:16,814 - And you felt betrayed and alone. - Uh-huh. 340 00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:19,040 And now you're probably pretty much damaged for life, 341 00:19:19,065 --> 00:19:21,494 - and you'll never trust anyone ever again. - Exactly. 342 00:19:22,049 --> 00:19:23,557 Yeah. Well, congratulations, Sally. 343 00:19:23,637 --> 00:19:25,964 You've just taken your first step into childhood. 344 00:19:27,777 --> 00:19:28,636 - I have? - Yeah. 345 00:19:28,661 --> 00:19:30,669 And now you take all this emotional damage 346 00:19:30,757 --> 00:19:33,606 and let it feed your adult neuroses. 347 00:19:34,113 --> 00:19:36,478 And the best part is that if you ever kill a guy 348 00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:39,073 or balloon up to 400 pounds, you get to blame Dick. 349 00:19:39,098 --> 00:19:39,591 Yeah. 350 00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:42,499 Tommy! Sally! 351 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:44,929 Oh! Sally, 352 00:19:45,839 --> 00:19:48,609 I am so sorry I missed your recital. 353 00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:53,108 Yeah, you did. Thanks, Dick. 354 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,396 It's my pleasure. 355 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,817 - What for? - You've given me the most precious gift of all-- 356 00:19:58,269 --> 00:20:01,774 emotional baggage. Thanks. 357 00:20:01,954 --> 00:20:04,256 - You're welcome. - Now I gotta go eat. 358 00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:11,594 I'm sorry, Harry. I thought I didn't need anyone. 359 00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:13,892 I thought I could do everything by myself. 360 00:20:14,468 --> 00:20:16,903 It turns out I was wrong. I do need someone, 361 00:20:17,498 --> 00:20:18,586 just not you. 362 00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:22,750 Well, it takes a big man to admit that. 363 00:20:23,386 --> 00:20:26,631 I guess it just goes to show you, you can't work with your family. 364 00:20:26,855 --> 00:20:29,168 But, technically, we're not a family. 365 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:30,524 We're more like co-workers. 366 00:20:30,574 --> 00:20:33,715 Well, it just goes to show you can't work with your co-workers. 367 00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:38,896 Isn't that the motto of the postal service? 368 00:20:48,417 --> 00:20:49,838 Okay, this is how it works. 369 00:20:49,863 --> 00:20:51,903 - You put the paper in there. - I did that. 370 00:20:51,969 --> 00:20:53,446 - Press this button. - I did that. 371 00:20:53,471 --> 00:20:54,254 Right.. 372 00:20:54,855 --> 00:20:56,983 - Paper jam. - Not a problem. 373 00:20:57,458 --> 00:20:58,988 - Pull this out. - I did that. 374 00:20:59,243 --> 00:21:00,550 - Press this button. 375 00:21:01,435 --> 00:21:02,673 It's not working. 376 00:21:03,995 --> 00:21:05,942 What is wrong with this?! Damn it! 377 00:21:08,161 --> 00:21:09,288 Stupid! Stupid! 378 00:21:12,763 --> 00:21:15,288 The other side. Harder. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00