1
00:00:03,558 --> 00:00:05,391
Hey, Dick, can I borrow the car
keys? I have a date with August.
2
00:00:05,431 --> 00:00:08,257
- Sure, Tommy.
- You can't give him the keys. He can't drive.
3
00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:10,528
How do you know? I've never
tried it. I could be great at it.
4
00:00:12,185 --> 00:00:15,023
- Check and mate.
- He doesn't even have a licence.
5
00:00:15,055 --> 00:00:17,127
- You don't have your licence yet?
- I'm taking driver's ed.
6
00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:19,744
Look, she's right. No keys for you.
- Ha ha!
7
00:00:19,942 --> 00:00:22,593
- Then what am I supposed to do?
- Sally, you drive him.
8
00:00:22,775 --> 00:00:23,814
Ha ha!
9
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,967
Hey there, Tiger.
10
00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:45,016
You remember my daughter Vicki, don't you?
11
00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:48,260
Sure. I put a turkey carcass on my head
12
00:00:48,285 --> 00:00:50,616
and had sex with her
on your kitchen table.
13
00:00:54,975 --> 00:00:57,726
That's my little girl.
14
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,949
So, what brings you
to Rutherford?
15
00:01:00,998 --> 00:01:02,824
She's back for her
high school reunion.
16
00:01:02,872 --> 00:01:05,046
Thanks for killing
the surprise, mama.
17
00:01:07,518 --> 00:01:09,210
Ever since they cancelled "Ryan's Hope,"
18
00:01:09,211 --> 00:01:11,365
she's been
real moody.
19
00:01:13,037 --> 00:01:14,085
So, Vicki,
20
00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:16,930
why didn't you return
any of my phone calls?
21
00:01:17,248 --> 00:01:18,988
Well, I wanted to,
but they...
22
00:01:18,989 --> 00:01:20,554
they put a lock
on the phone
23
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:21,848
down at social
services.
24
00:01:23,411 --> 00:01:25,293
Well, I'm glad
you're here
25
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,284
'cause I could use
some social services.
26
00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:09,936
Come on, come on.
Anyone.
27
00:02:13,855 --> 00:02:16,125
- "Y" to the fourth power.
- No.
28
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:17,212
11?
29
00:02:18,666 --> 00:02:19,677
No.
30
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,481
- Velocity squared?
- No.
31
00:02:22,648 --> 00:02:24,037
That guy
from Jeopardy"?
32
00:02:24,163 --> 00:02:25,880
No, no, no!
33
00:02:27,132 --> 00:02:29,793
Dr. Solomon, can't you
just tell us the answer?
34
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,344
We've been guessing
for 45 minutes now.
35
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,321
You've been guessing?
36
00:02:35,765 --> 00:02:37,068
All right, people,
37
00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:39,309
due to your
staggering ineptitude
38
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:42,169
with the most basic concepts
of quantum superpositions,
39
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:43,790
I am issuing
the following assignment:
40
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,500
you will write a five-page
letter to your parents
41
00:02:45,525 --> 00:02:47,705
apologizing for
wasting their money.
42
00:02:50,487 --> 00:02:53,157
I want them on my desk
tomorrow morning for my approval
43
00:02:53,182 --> 00:02:54,920
and a blistering P.S.
44
00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:57,904
And bring a stamp, damn it.
I'm not a post office.
45
00:03:01,218 --> 00:03:04,217
The wedding chapel
was only two miles away.
46
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:08,174
All she had to do was
come to a complete stop
47
00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:10,455
and turn on
her blinker,
48
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:14,622
but I guess she had more
important things to think about.
49
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,402
And now she's dead!
50
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,669
- Any questions?
- Yeah. Where can I rent that movie?
51
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,759
You can't.
52
00:03:27,329 --> 00:03:29,098
Class dismissed.
53
00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:34,052
Hey, Tommy.
54
00:03:34,469 --> 00:03:35,872
Hello, Don.
55
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,626
- Hello, Sally.
- Tommy said
56
00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:40,798
you were showing "the bride wore asphalt."
57
00:03:41,984 --> 00:03:43,838
- Did I miss it?
- Yes, but...
58
00:03:44,399 --> 00:03:46,833
- maybe I can arrange for a private screening.
- When?
59
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,697
- Now.
- Can we watch it backwards?
60
00:03:48,904 --> 00:03:51,090
You're a sucker
for a happy ending.
61
00:03:57,998 --> 00:03:59,958
Look,
her head's back on.
62
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:04,441
- Judith?
63
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,787
Dr Solomon, As head of the
disciplinary committee,
64
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:08,265
it is my sad duty
to inform you
65
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,943
that one of your students has
registered a complaint against you.
66
00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,184
There must be
some mistake.
67
00:04:13,376 --> 00:04:16,267
Is it true that you forced them to
write humiliating letters to their parents?
68
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,500
Well, yes,
but that can't be it.
69
00:04:20,317 --> 00:04:23,319
I'm afraid it is, and according
to university rules of conduct,
70
00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:25,588
you must attend
sensitivity training.
71
00:04:26,688 --> 00:04:28,338
My office
will contact you.
72
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:31,450
Oh, and Dick,
I wouldn't leave town.
73
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,888
I don't need
sensitivity training,
74
00:04:37,269 --> 00:04:39,298
you strident,
power-Mad tart!
75
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,114
- Happy birthday, dad.
76
00:04:44,277 --> 00:04:46,186
Of course
I remembered.
77
00:04:46,511 --> 00:04:47,965
How's the chest pains?
78
00:04:48,891 --> 00:04:50,916
Mary, do you think
I'm insensitive?
79
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,516
You just hung up
on my father.
80
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,262
Now, don't try
to change the subject.
81
00:04:57,887 --> 00:05:00,073
Okay, fine.
You're insensitive.
82
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:02,592
I am?
83
00:05:02,705 --> 00:05:04,738
Oh, come on, Dick.
It wouldn't kill you
84
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,128
to occasionally think of
people's feelings before you speak.
85
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,161
What a bunch of crap.
86
00:05:12,575 --> 00:05:15,823
You log 40 billion light-years
without a single moving violation,
87
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,807
they make you take
a road test anyway.
88
00:05:18,030 --> 00:05:19,638
Welcome
to earth, folks.
89
00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:22,873
You don't need that book.
Just use your common sense.
90
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,338
Green means go. Yellow means slow down.
91
00:05:25,363 --> 00:05:27,260
Red means stop and check your make-up.
92
00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:31,399
That's my best friend.
93
00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:33,574
That's Kenny.
94
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,351
Ooh, Jace carter.
Ooh!
95
00:05:38,184 --> 00:05:40,210
Whoa! Who's
the biker chick
96
00:05:40,211 --> 00:05:43,459
with the confederate flag
and the bottle of bourbon?
97
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,514
That's me.
98
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,922
Nice.
99
00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:54,299
Harry, I was wondering
100
00:05:54,276 --> 00:05:58,038
if maybe... you'd be
my date to the reunion.
101
00:05:58,063 --> 00:06:00,153
I'd love to.
102
00:06:00,154 --> 00:06:01,560
Will there be...
103
00:06:01,901 --> 00:06:03,606
turkey?
104
00:06:05,559 --> 00:06:08,614
- Family meeting!
Family meeting!
105
00:06:08,615 --> 00:06:09,900
What?
106
00:06:09,901 --> 00:06:12,783
I've just heard
the most upsetting thing.
107
00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:16,462
Someone has accused me
of insensitivity.
108
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,968
You're not family!
Get out!
109
00:06:25,405 --> 00:06:28,556
What is it with this planet's
preoccupation with sensitivity?
110
00:06:28,557 --> 00:06:31,585
You should be able to have an open
dialogue with anyone, like we do.
111
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,369
We can say anything to each
other and not take offense.
112
00:06:34,512 --> 00:06:36,549
For example, Tommy
wouldn't object if I mentioned
113
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,880
that he was a greasy
little disappointment.
114
00:06:39,204 --> 00:06:39,970
What's to argue?
115
00:06:39,995 --> 00:06:42,682
Sally couldn't dispute
that she's a sadistic bimbo.
116
00:06:42,707 --> 00:06:46,053
You got me. And, Dick,
you're a rubber-faced bag of wind.
117
00:06:46,078 --> 00:06:48,682
Well said!
And Harry, you're an idiot.
118
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:51,588
Thank you, sir.
May I have another?
119
00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:56,739
Hooray...
120
00:06:56,943 --> 00:06:58,872
for personal growth.
121
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,362
Today we're going to learn how to breathe,
122
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:02,835
how to listen,
123
00:07:02,995 --> 00:07:06,663
and how to say
"I have a personality disorder."
124
00:07:07,388 --> 00:07:10,222
- Wait a minute--
- Dick, I hear you.
125
00:07:10,438 --> 00:07:14,147
Can... you...
hear... me?
126
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,785
Yes. You're the annoying guy in the unitard.
127
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:21,623
Dick, labels disable.
128
00:07:28,587 --> 00:07:30,802
We're all
shipwrecked at sea.
129
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:32,898
There's very little
food left
130
00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:35,552
and one passenger
too many.
131
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:38,510
I say we eat
the big, fat guy.
132
00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:41,767
Boo, Dick!
Boo!
133
00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:45,917
How about the woman
with the bad hairdo?
134
00:07:51,656 --> 00:07:54,029
Your work is incompetent.
You get an "F." You fail.
135
00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:54,878
You're right.
136
00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:58,524
My work has been weak,
but it's not my fault.
137
00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:00,533
I'm just not
as smart as you are.
138
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,142
Ah, I suppose
you have a point.
139
00:08:03,269 --> 00:08:05,341
I am exceedingly
brilliant.
140
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,864
You just go so fast,
I can't follow you.
141
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:10,712
And now I'll
never get a job.
142
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:13,398
I'll have to sell
my feet for keychains.
143
00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:18,080
I've never
heard things
144
00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:19,631
from your point
of view before.
145
00:08:20,122 --> 00:08:23,539
Maybe I have been a little
hard on you. I'm.. I'm...
146
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:26,652
I'm sorry.
147
00:08:38,781 --> 00:08:40,839
I think someone
needs a hug.
148
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:57,496
Okay, class,
149
00:08:58,214 --> 00:09:00,477
I thought we'd try
something different.
150
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,327
- No kidding.
- Now,
151
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:07,139
let's reflect on the ballet that is physics.
152
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:12,948
In standard
quantum chromodynamics,
153
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,038
the Lagrange density
154
00:09:15,063 --> 00:09:17,654
equals one
over four pi
155
00:09:17,702 --> 00:09:20,647
times the square of the
field strength tensor.
156
00:09:20,696 --> 00:09:21,544
Now,
157
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,513
given that there is
158
00:09:24,538 --> 00:09:25,915
this concentration
159
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,480
of intense
nucleic energy,
160
00:09:28,992 --> 00:09:32,787
how many hydronic jets
will emerge
161
00:09:32,812 --> 00:09:34,368
when the quark-
antiquark line
162
00:09:34,393 --> 00:09:37,168
within the meson
ruptures? Bug?
163
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,617
A million?
164
00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:49,495
- Does that mean I'm right?
- No, not even close, bug,
165
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,452
but you tried, and
that's what makes you special.
166
00:09:54,016 --> 00:09:55,206
What's that
supposed to mean?
167
00:09:55,257 --> 00:09:58,055
- Do you want me to say it slower?
- No.
168
00:09:58,562 --> 00:10:00,872
Class, I have
your midterms.
169
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,035
Now, I didn't want
anyone to feel stress,
170
00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:05,938
so I've abandoned
171
00:10:05,963 --> 00:10:08,214
the traditional
grading system,
172
00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:10,876
and I'm giving
you all happy faces.
173
00:10:14,675 --> 00:10:16,460
I can't apply
to graduate school
174
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,419
with a happy face
in physics.
175
00:10:18,505 --> 00:10:19,979
Graduate school?
176
00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:22,837
I don't think any of you
have to worry about that.
177
00:10:35,494 --> 00:10:38,169
Nina, did you make the
appointment for my high colonic?
178
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,299
There are two things
I don't do.
179
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:44,511
I don't pick up dry cleaning,
and I don't schedule enemas, okay?
180
00:10:45,468 --> 00:10:46,848
That's okay.
I forgive you.
181
00:10:46,931 --> 00:10:49,772
- Mary, are we still on for dinner?
- Sure.
182
00:10:49,911 --> 00:10:51,850
I was thinking
of wearing this.
183
00:10:52,978 --> 00:10:55,074
It's not coming off
anytime soon, is it?
184
00:10:55,165 --> 00:10:56,300
Dr. Solomon..
185
00:11:01,237 --> 00:11:02,804
oh, dear god.
I'll make this brief.
186
00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:06,405
Your students have filed a
class-wide complaint against you.
187
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:07,460
You are required
to appear
188
00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:10,098
before the disciplinary
committee, which I chair.
189
00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:13,390
What?! I give them happy
faces on their mid-terms,
190
00:11:13,415 --> 00:11:15,122
and this is how
they repay me?
191
00:11:15,147 --> 00:11:16,209
- Yeah, that's messed up.
192
00:11:17,296 --> 00:11:19,837
That's it.
No more Mr. Nice guy.
193
00:11:20,228 --> 00:11:22,221
And no hug for you,
four eyes.
194
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:28,906
Fine!
195
00:11:28,962 --> 00:11:31,662
This is the last time
I shop at gotta dance.
196
00:11:32,153 --> 00:11:34,647
Damn, they won't
allow me to return my unitard.
197
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,074
Why not?
198
00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:39,297
- Because I wore it without my underpants.
- Oh, my god!
199
00:11:41,956 --> 00:11:44,528
This reminds me
of your prom night.
200
00:11:44,775 --> 00:11:46,292
- Oh!
201
00:11:46,566 --> 00:11:49,241
Only this time
your date isn't married.
202
00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:50,741
Hi, folks.
203
00:11:51,843 --> 00:11:54,216
Unless you have a warrant,
you cannot come in here.
204
00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:57,901
- No, that's Sally's date.
- Oh.
205
00:11:59,244 --> 00:12:01,094
Well, it's nice
to meet you.
206
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,745
Don't I know you?
207
00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,271
No, I don't--
let's go.
208
00:12:06,423 --> 00:12:08,096
Mama, let's go.
209
00:12:08,552 --> 00:12:09,525
Go, go, go.
210
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:10,918
Hello, Don.
211
00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:14,618
Hello, Sally.
212
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,144
I thought
we would skip dinner
213
00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:21,547
and drive straight
to lookout point.
214
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,833
That is, if you
can stand the heat.
215
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,799
You know me, Don.
The hotter, the better.
216
00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:31,687
- Ready, Tommy?
- Yeah.
217
00:12:33,739 --> 00:12:36,950
- Tommy's coming?
- The kid needs to see how it's done.
218
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:44,809
You could show him how to
put the key in the ignition.
219
00:12:47,192 --> 00:12:49,411
Couldn't I just buy him
some magazines?
220
00:12:50,908 --> 00:12:52,082
He's been reading
about it for weeks.
221
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,349
He's ready for the real
thing, and I figure...
222
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,237
he should learn
from the master.
223
00:12:59,353 --> 00:13:01,153
Okay, he can come,
224
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,077
but I'm not
promising anything.
225
00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:12,311
If you'll all take your
seats, this hearing can begin.
226
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:14,706
All right, Dick,
out with it.
227
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:17,113
Where did you grab her?
And how many times?
228
00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:20,338
It's not that kind
of hearing.
229
00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:24,297
First, we will hear
from Dr. Mary Albright
230
00:13:24,322 --> 00:13:26,146
who will speak on behalf of Dr. Solomon.
231
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,774
Dr. Albright, how would
you describe Dr. Solomon?
232
00:13:30,385 --> 00:13:31,922
Well, it's
kind of hard.
233
00:13:31,923 --> 00:13:33,595
I mean...
234
00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:37,230
have you ever had a piece
of really stinky cheese?
235
00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,327
I enjoy stinky cheese. Continue.
236
00:13:42,658 --> 00:13:44,178
The thing is,
it has
237
00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:46,260
these wonderfully
rich flavors
238
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:48,216
that you
can't get to
239
00:13:48,963 --> 00:13:50,666
without
the stinkiness.
240
00:13:53,097 --> 00:13:56,070
Have you ever found Dr
. Solomon to be insensitive?
241
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:59,862
No. Dr. Solomon is warm, kind,
and a credit to Pendleton state.
242
00:13:59,887 --> 00:14:01,848
And he's never been
abusive towards you?
243
00:14:01,873 --> 00:14:04,188
No. Dr. Solomon
is warm, kind,
244
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:05,767
and a credit
to Pendleton state.
245
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,223
- Have you been coached to say that?
- No.
246
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,724
Dr. Solomon is warm, kind,
and a credit to Pendleton state.
247
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,682
- Just keep your eye on the white line.
- Where is it?
248
00:14:18,713 --> 00:14:20,277
Look out!
249
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:24,040
Uh... Don, maybe
you ought to drive.
250
00:14:24,065 --> 00:14:27,153
No! You're passing that test
tomorrow if it kills us all!
251
00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:30,121
You heard the lady.
252
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:36,813
A 3-11.
253
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:39,051
Tommy, step on it.
254
00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:44,033
Oh, party, man!
255
00:14:47,168 --> 00:14:49,894
Okay, Harry, don't you let
these people intimidate you.
256
00:14:49,919 --> 00:14:52,555
You just be yourself.
You're great. Remember that.
257
00:14:55,842 --> 00:14:58,543
- Hello, Vicki.
- Hello, Elroy.
258
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,751
This is my boyfriend.
He's a famous brain surgeon.
259
00:15:03,512 --> 00:15:05,634
Vicki Dubcek?
260
00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:11,268
- Look at you!
- Oh, look at you.
261
00:15:11,523 --> 00:15:13,665
What was that nickname
we used to call you?
262
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,713
"Whore."
263
00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:19,905
Whore! Isn't she priceless?
264
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,033
And who are you?
265
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:25,785
Harry Solomon,
266
00:15:26,188 --> 00:15:28,311
united states
ambassador
267
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,359
to Portugal.
268
00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:38,263
What bothers you most about
Dr. Solomon's teaching methods?
269
00:15:38,463 --> 00:15:39,904
He's always
saying I'm wrong.
270
00:15:40,091 --> 00:15:41,666
And how often
are you wrong?
271
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,652
Always.
272
00:15:46,558 --> 00:15:48,191
One day he told me
273
00:15:48,216 --> 00:15:49,942
if I liked
long hair so much,
274
00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:52,791
maybe I should
join the circus.
275
00:15:54,197 --> 00:15:56,043
- Were you hurt by that?
- No.
276
00:15:56,813 --> 00:15:58,369
More confused.
277
00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:02,347
And then
he stared at me,
278
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,485
and I felt all dirty.
279
00:16:07,378 --> 00:16:08,866
He did well
in the session,
280
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:12,088
but when he left,
he stole the puppets.
281
00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:17,162
I've heard enough, who's buying?
282
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,383
Dr. Solomon, do you
have anything to say
283
00:16:21,408 --> 00:16:23,335
- in your defense?
- I have plenty to say.
284
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:26,392
I should have
brought a book.
285
00:16:28,101 --> 00:16:30,662
I stand here accused
of insensitivity.
286
00:16:31,397 --> 00:16:32,991
Oh sure, I've tried
to change my ways.
287
00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:35,713
I've cried. I've hugged. I've been hugged.
288
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,094
And you know what
I've discovered?
289
00:16:37,711 --> 00:16:39,623
I'm an offensive
person.
290
00:16:40,378 --> 00:16:41,852
But in a tolerant
society,
291
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:44,193
is there no place
for my kind?
292
00:16:44,656 --> 00:16:46,534
Why must everyone
like me?
293
00:16:46,945 --> 00:16:48,621
Why can't
we all just...
294
00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:50,382
not get along?
295
00:16:51,685 --> 00:16:53,339
Conflict
is necessary.
296
00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:55,393
Throughout history,
human beings
297
00:16:55,418 --> 00:16:57,395
have persecuted
the great agitators
298
00:16:57,906 --> 00:16:59,996
Socrates, Galileo,
299
00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:01,672
and now Dick Solomon.
300
00:17:02,374 --> 00:17:04,175
Where would you be
without us
301
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,072
to provoke
and enlighten you?
302
00:17:07,289 --> 00:17:09,509
To attach the electrodes
of knowledge
303
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,558
to the nipples
of ignorance?
304
00:17:13,485 --> 00:17:15,285
Throughout history,
305
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:17,239
all over the world,
306
00:17:17,264 --> 00:17:19,676
people have rightfully
looked to Pendleton state
307
00:17:19,701 --> 00:17:20,980
for virtually nothing.
308
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,882
But maybe one day
they'll be able to say
309
00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:27,146
that an unpopular battle
was won there
310
00:17:27,717 --> 00:17:31,262
for an ugly little thing
called... the truth.
311
00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:37,538
- Thank you.
- And when they make a movie of this..
312
00:17:37,869 --> 00:17:38,768
and they will..
313
00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:42,394
I don't want to be played
by woody harrelson.
314
00:17:49,399 --> 00:17:51,042
We will now deliberate and return
315
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,931
with a guilty
verdict.
316
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,639
Who would have thought that
I'd be spending this night
317
00:17:59,664 --> 00:18:02,654
in a veritable wonderland
of twinkly lights,
318
00:18:02,679 --> 00:18:05,155
tiny wienies,
319
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:08,299
and the most beautiful
woman from Orlando?
320
00:18:08,324 --> 00:18:10,542
Mmm.
321
00:18:10,772 --> 00:18:13,698
So what did you do at
your high school reunion?
322
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,302
Vicki,
323
00:18:15,445 --> 00:18:18,467
I didn't exactly graduate
from high school.
324
00:18:18,509 --> 00:18:19,700
Oh. Well...
325
00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:22,260
I didn't exactly
graduate, either.
326
00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:27,010
Jace?
Jace carter?
327
00:18:28,021 --> 00:18:29,982
- Yeah?
- Well, it's...
328
00:18:30,157 --> 00:18:32,375
Vicki Dubcek here.
329
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,488
Oh. Right.
330
00:18:38,794 --> 00:18:40,443
I don't think
you understand.
331
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:42,137
That's Vicki Dubcek.
332
00:18:43,234 --> 00:18:45,967
- Who are you?
- I'm Vicki's husband,
333
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,660
Harry Solomon,
Hollywood stuntman.
334
00:18:50,156 --> 00:18:52,613
And when I'm not crashing
through plate glass windows
335
00:18:52,638 --> 00:18:54,617
or catching on fire,
336
00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:57,887
you'll find me at my
Hollywood mansion with my wife.
337
00:18:58,392 --> 00:18:59,085
You see..
338
00:18:59,211 --> 00:19:01,772
I could have any woman I want...
including her...
339
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:06,003
but I choose Vicki
340
00:19:06,036 --> 00:19:09,027
to share my fabulous
Hollywood lifestyle.
341
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:12,964
Wow! Vicki,
you made it.
342
00:19:13,023 --> 00:19:15,048
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
343
00:19:15,813 --> 00:19:18,386
I'm also the postmaster general.
344
00:19:22,357 --> 00:19:23,704
After reviewing
all the testimony,
345
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,420
the disciplinary committee
unanimously votes
346
00:19:26,445 --> 00:19:28,323
to admonish
Dr. Solomon.
347
00:19:29,096 --> 00:19:31,517
- What does that mean?
- You're officially admonished.
348
00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:36,409
Does that come
with a pay cut?
349
00:19:36,796 --> 00:19:39,636
No. However, if there's another
violation, you will be censured.
350
00:19:39,866 --> 00:19:41,351
Does that come
with a pay cut?
351
00:19:41,917 --> 00:19:43,562
No, but should that
fail to stop you,
352
00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:46,110
you will be sanctioned,
which means a 30-day suspension.
353
00:19:46,205 --> 00:19:47,780
- With pay?
- Yes, with pay.
354
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:52,005
That sounds good. Could I
be sanctioned right now?
355
00:19:53,381 --> 00:19:55,310
No. We're
adjourned.
356
00:20:00,062 --> 00:20:01,238
Dr. Solomon,
357
00:20:01,453 --> 00:20:04,644
I'm really sorry. We never
meant for there to be a hearing.
358
00:20:05,047 --> 00:20:06,941
I don't even know
how it got this far.
359
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,787
No need to apologize.
360
00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:13,997
You're stupid, I'm rude.
See you tomorrow.
361
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,359
We'll see you.
362
00:20:18,006 --> 00:20:20,139
Well, Dick, I think
you made a nice point.
363
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,218
Yes, for a piece
of stinky cheese.
364
00:20:22,243 --> 00:20:24,012
Oh, Dick,
365
00:20:24,462 --> 00:20:27,366
you are who you are,
and that's the guy I love.
366
00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:29,342
Thank you, Mary.
367
00:20:30,282 --> 00:20:31,572
- And you know what?
- What?
368
00:20:31,886 --> 00:20:34,170
- I love me, too.
- Good.
369
00:20:34,368 --> 00:20:37,549
It's something I learned in
sensitivity class... to love myself.
370
00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:40,963
- Good.
- And I really love myself.
371
00:20:41,171 --> 00:20:42,768
I mean, a lot.
372
00:20:50,276 --> 00:20:52,526
Well, I failed
by driver's test.
373
00:20:52,593 --> 00:20:54,205
I can handle a high-speed police chase,
374
00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:56,004
but for some reason,
at 20 miles an hour
375
00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:57,906
I hit three parked cars.
376
00:20:58,816 --> 00:21:00,589
Don't worry about
not having your license.
377
00:21:00,803 --> 00:21:02,565
Lord knows it
hasn't stopped me.
378
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:05,319
I'm going to be the
laughingstock of my whole school.
379
00:21:05,393 --> 00:21:07,695
Well, I've discovered
something, Tommy.
380
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,650
It doesn't matter what
you do in high school,
381
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,929
as long as you can make
people feel like losers
382
00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:14,835
at the reunion.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00