1 00:00:06,291 --> 00:00:08,059 So I said to her, "hey mom your birthday 2 00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:10,742 was last month, hoist it up yourself". 3 00:00:12,052 --> 00:00:13,551 I don't get it, what are they laughing at? 4 00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:16,186 Anyway, I'm not saying my mom is overweight, 5 00:00:16,187 --> 00:00:18,078 she's got that flabby skin under her arm. 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,464 You know what I'm talking about. Well, the other day this wind picks up, 7 00:00:20,465 --> 00:00:22,104 this stuff starts jiggling 8 00:00:22,141 --> 00:00:25,386 out dropped a tricycle I lost when I was seven. 9 00:00:26,481 --> 00:00:27,420 Excuse me. 10 00:00:28,435 --> 00:00:31,498 Perhaps you can help me out. Those things you said about your mother, 11 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,908 I don't understand why they're considered funny. 12 00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,786 Well, um.. - Is it because 13 00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:38,682 the toned arms that once cradled you securely 14 00:00:38,683 --> 00:00:41,916 now have large deposits of cellulite hanging from them? 15 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,466 Is aging funny? - If you think about it.. 16 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:47,503 And you, is it all the alcohol you're consuming 17 00:00:47,504 --> 00:00:50,449 that makes it okay to laugh at the expense of your loved ones? 18 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:54,366 He's right! I love my fat mama! 19 00:00:54,696 --> 00:00:56,624 And you're a bad man! 20 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,662 Dr. Albright, 21 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:05,600 have you ever lost a tricycle in your mother? 22 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,007 Please Dick, I am in a cruddy mood. 23 00:01:10,008 --> 00:01:12,629 This fundraiser is turning out to be a nightmare. 24 00:01:21,635 --> 00:01:25,291 Well, why are you laughing? You just said you were in a cruddy mood. 25 00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:29,173 Oh, it's these jokes Ben Littmeyer gave me at lunch. 26 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,571 Ben Littmeyer, from the sociology department? 27 00:01:31,572 --> 00:01:34,525 Yes, oh he has the best sense of humour. 28 00:01:34,526 --> 00:01:36,907 I finally convinced him to host the fundraiser. 29 00:01:36,908 --> 00:01:38,908 Well, why didn't you ask me to do it? 30 00:01:38,909 --> 00:01:40,767 I have a wonderful sense of humour. 31 00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:43,244 Nina, come in here. 32 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:45,700 I have a wonderful sense of humour, don't I? 33 00:01:47,978 --> 00:01:49,310 Ohhh. 34 00:01:51,521 --> 00:01:52,601 See? - Oh! 35 00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:56,113 This is an important fundraiser for Pendleton, 36 00:01:56,114 --> 00:01:59,109 and Ben can get those fat cats to cough up some cash. 37 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:00,977 Well I can make a fat cat cough. 38 00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:04,327 I can even make him vomit. 39 00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:07,626 Thanks Dick, but Ben already said yes. 40 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,846 You don't think I'm funny? 41 00:02:08,847 --> 00:02:14,559 Oh Dick, you're loving, and intelligent, and sexy.. 42 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,883 and funny? - Oh! I have a class! 43 00:02:17,884 --> 00:02:22,126 I am funny! I am funny! I am! 44 00:03:01,173 --> 00:03:02,629 What happened to your coat? 45 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,193 I don't know what happened to it, 46 00:03:05,194 --> 00:03:08,669 so Mrs. Dubcek let me borrow this one. 47 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,258 Sweet woman. 48 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,421 So you lost your coat? Oh tough break. 49 00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:17,409 I lost more than a coat, Tommy! 50 00:03:18,561 --> 00:03:20,665 I lost a friend, 51 00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:21,736 a buddy, 52 00:03:22,304 --> 00:03:25,540 a companion, who kept me warm when it was cold 53 00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:27,743 and warmer when it was really 54 00:03:27,744 --> 00:03:30,449 sort of too hot to be wearing a coat. 55 00:03:32,483 --> 00:03:33,367 Tommy, 56 00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:37,390 look, you're the information officer. 57 00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:40,435 What do you know about this thing they call a sense of humour? 58 00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:42,621 All I know is, that's not it. 59 00:03:44,481 --> 00:03:46,108 Lieutenant, I need your help. 60 00:03:46,109 --> 00:03:47,743 I need you to find out what's funny. 61 00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:49,158 Oh I can't, I've got to build this.. 62 00:03:50,279 --> 00:03:52,449 I ran out of room for my shoes. 63 00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:54,696 Well this is more important, it's about me! 64 00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:56,589 Well how am I supposed to know what's funny? 65 00:03:57,457 --> 00:04:00,070 What's so important about a sense of humour anyway? 66 00:04:00,071 --> 00:04:01,377 Oh come on Tommy. 67 00:04:01,678 --> 00:04:03,619 Having a sense of humor is having the power, 68 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:06,778 to transform someone's mood, 69 00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,439 to lift his spirit. 70 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,271 You give it to someone you love when she really needs it. 71 00:04:11,572 --> 00:04:15,257 And I just found out today, that Marys been getting it from another man. 72 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:20,411 Dick, I think this whole being funny thing is just innate. 73 00:04:20,412 --> 00:04:22,755 What do you think, lieutenant? - What do I think? 74 00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:26,538 I think either you got it or you don't. 75 00:04:26,539 --> 00:04:27,903 Look what you just did! 76 00:04:31,675 --> 00:04:33,092 What's wrong with you guys? 77 00:04:33,238 --> 00:04:36,235 Come on! Wake up you two, come on! 78 00:04:39,707 --> 00:04:41,652 How am I ever gonna find out what's funny? 79 00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:48,309 No I don't get it. Give me an example of what's funny. 80 00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,590 Okay let's see. 81 00:04:50,334 --> 00:04:52,145 I thought the movie Emma was really funny. 82 00:04:56,011 --> 00:04:57,066 What was funny about it? 83 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,886 Didn't you get it? It was full of irony. 84 00:05:00,028 --> 00:05:01,932 Okay, so irony's funny. 85 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:05,319 Sure, because someone says something, and the opposite is actually true. 86 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,641 Oh okay, like when you told me Emma was gonna be 87 00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:10,011 a really great movie, when actually it sucked out loud? 88 00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:15,763 Well, apparently, irony is a little too sophisticated for you. 89 00:05:15,764 --> 00:05:17,868 Either that or you don't know what's funny either. 90 00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:20,664 I... don't know what's funny? 91 00:05:20,865 --> 00:05:22,645 I'll have you know, at camp, 92 00:05:22,746 --> 00:05:24,674 I was voted "Miss Whimsy". 93 00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:29,310 Why, was Miss Irony killed in a canoe accident? 94 00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:39,122 Hi, Dick. - Oh, uh, Mary. 95 00:05:39,523 --> 00:05:41,048 Just doing some reading. 96 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,417 Some physics reading, you know. 97 00:05:44,329 --> 00:05:45,352 Okay. 98 00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:47,063 Say, uh, 99 00:05:47,364 --> 00:05:50,196 an amusing joke just came to me 100 00:05:50,197 --> 00:05:51,713 you know, out of the blue. 101 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,592 Knock, knock. 102 00:05:57,412 --> 00:05:59,565 Okay. Who's there? 103 00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:06,248 Who's there you say? 104 00:06:10,695 --> 00:06:11,763 Nina! 105 00:06:12,721 --> 00:06:13,595 Nina who? 106 00:06:13,596 --> 00:06:16,080 Ah Nina, she's right here! 107 00:06:19,856 --> 00:06:21,884 Please let me host that fundraiser! 108 00:06:21,885 --> 00:06:23,616 No! - Oh! 109 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:27,273 Ben Littmeyer just called, he's gonna be a few minutes late for lunch. 110 00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:29,157 Oh, another lunch with Ben. 111 00:06:29,158 --> 00:06:30,334 I see. 112 00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:32,467 How funny for you. 113 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,912 Well, would you like to join us, we could make it a threesome? 114 00:06:36,913 --> 00:06:38,439 I don't go that way Mary. 115 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,561 Fine! 116 00:06:47,488 --> 00:06:50,372 And last but not least, garlic gum. 117 00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:52,395 Oh, uh, Harry, 118 00:06:52,696 --> 00:06:55,877 how would you like a nice piece of perfectly ordinary gum? 119 00:06:55,878 --> 00:06:56,997 Okay. 120 00:06:58,855 --> 00:07:00,827 Mmm, garlicky. 121 00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,405 Well, I had a great day. 122 00:07:03,406 --> 00:07:05,972 I haven't learned a thing about comedy, and August and I had a huge fight. 123 00:07:05,973 --> 00:07:08,754 Oh well, how would you like a nice doughnut? 124 00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:11,598 from this bag labeled "donuts". 125 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,883 Ahh! You touched doggy doody! 126 00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:18,937 Since when is doggy doody made in Taiwan? 127 00:07:19,466 --> 00:07:22,626 They have dogs in Taiwan.. big ones. 128 00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:24,678 Funny, right? - I don't know. You know, 129 00:07:25,572 --> 00:07:27,920 I don't think I'm ever gonna see my coat again. 130 00:07:27,921 --> 00:07:31,500 Okay, Harry, why don't you sit down, you'll feel a lot better? 131 00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:32,748 Right here. 132 00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:35,753 Excuse me. 133 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:37,944 Damn! 134 00:07:41,883 --> 00:07:44,445 You know, at least I can take comfort 135 00:07:44,446 --> 00:07:46,774 in knowing that I treated my coat well. 136 00:07:46,775 --> 00:07:49,893 Such as yesterday. It was hot on the bus. 137 00:07:49,894 --> 00:07:52,008 I took it off and folded it neatly 138 00:07:52,009 --> 00:07:54,633 and placed it under the shade of my seat. 139 00:07:56,905 --> 00:07:57,690 What? 140 00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:59,129 You left it on the bus. 141 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,463 No-o-o! 142 00:08:00,464 --> 00:08:03,230 You know they have a lost and found Harry. 143 00:08:03,231 --> 00:08:06,138 Oh you mean I might see my coat again? 144 00:08:06,139 --> 00:08:08,670 Oh I am so happy. 145 00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:12,462 Dick, I've been thinking about this "humour" thing. 146 00:08:12,463 --> 00:08:14,786 Why don't you try what those guys on TV do? 147 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,969 Everybody says they're funny? - Oh, yeah, those guys! 148 00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:18,645 You know.. 149 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:33,477 The McLaughlin group? No. 150 00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:36,457 They're not funny at all! 151 00:08:46,309 --> 00:08:48,202 Oh, hello Dick. - Hello Ben. 152 00:08:48,203 --> 00:08:49,344 I'm waiting for Mary. 153 00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:50,768 I'm sleeping with Mary. 154 00:08:51,582 --> 00:08:53,750 Oh. Okay. 155 00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:58,360 So from what I've heard, you're quite the professor funnypants. 156 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,122 Well, I.. - It's seems that you have Mary 157 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,313 wrapped around your little funny bone. 158 00:09:04,455 --> 00:09:07,446 But I can assure you, I am a far tougher... 159 00:09:08,225 --> 00:09:09,611 bone wrapperer 160 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,057 I think I'll wait outside. 161 00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:14,821 Make me laugh funny man. 162 00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:17,323 Well, I'm not a comedian. 163 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:20,582 It's just that funny things, just seem to happen to me. 164 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:21,950 Oh really, like what? 165 00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:24,249 Well, like last week, I was at a bus stop, 166 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:27,085 and it suddenly started raining, pouring. 167 00:09:27,086 --> 00:09:29,036 And I look over and I see this 168 00:09:29,037 --> 00:09:31,402 gorgeous grad student, 169 00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:32,631 and she's looking at me, 170 00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:35,906 like a kid with braces, looking at a candy apple. 171 00:09:35,907 --> 00:09:37,781 Mmm, no, not funny. 172 00:09:37,782 --> 00:09:39,677 Well, I'm about to say hello, 173 00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:43,372 when I suddenly realize, that my hair has flipped forward. 174 00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:46,963 Here I am standing in the rain, with my very own awning. 175 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,629 Well, finally the bus arrived, 176 00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,742 and the door opened, 177 00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:54,613 the compressor kicked in, 178 00:09:54,614 --> 00:09:57,932 and this, this, European weave of mine 179 00:09:57,933 --> 00:10:00,262 got sucked right into the bus! 180 00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:02,554 Well, there I was, 181 00:10:02,555 --> 00:10:04,418 in front of this beautiful girl, 182 00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,926 and chasing that bus, 183 00:10:06,927 --> 00:10:08,845 and chasing my hair.. 184 00:10:08,846 --> 00:10:10,974 up and down, chasing! 185 00:10:10,975 --> 00:10:13,253 And I couldn't..I just.. oh! 186 00:10:13,797 --> 00:10:15,528 Oh! Oh! 187 00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:17,650 This is not good. 188 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,897 Yes, Yes, it is! The bus stole your hair! 189 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,664 Call 911! 190 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,848 911! 191 00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:28,928 Mary was so right about you Ben! 192 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,542 What's going on? 193 00:10:32,543 --> 00:10:34,282 Ben's been telling me the funniest story, 194 00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:36,173 about the bus, and the girl, and the.. 195 00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:39,346 Call 911! 196 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,770 You've heard this one before! 197 00:10:50,746 --> 00:10:53,523 I'm telling you, Ben's heart stopping temporarily 198 00:10:53,524 --> 00:10:55,646 was the best thing that ever happened to me. 199 00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:57,890 He's getting some much-needed bed rest, 200 00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,095 and I'm emceeing the fundraiser tomorrow night. 201 00:11:00,096 --> 00:11:01,024 How did you manage that? 202 00:11:01,025 --> 00:11:03,369 I promised Dr. Albright I'd stick to Ben's script. 203 00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:04,924 Are you gonna? - No. 204 00:11:06,421 --> 00:11:09,226 All right, next up on open- mike night, very funny man, 205 00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:11,240 put your hands together for Dick Solomon. 206 00:11:15,893 --> 00:11:17,571 Thank you! Thank you! 207 00:11:17,572 --> 00:11:20,250 Thanks a lot! Thank you so much! 208 00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:21,316 Now, 209 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,134 I'm gonna tell you some jokes. 210 00:11:24,904 --> 00:11:26,039 Joke one: 211 00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:28,690 I went fishing last week. 212 00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:31,438 My permit said I could only catch five. 213 00:11:31,439 --> 00:11:34,743 Oh, I caught five, all right, as in 35. 214 00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:41,895 Was that funny? - No, no, no, no, no, no. 215 00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:44,055 But you know.. 216 00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:47,183 pot-stickers, what are they all about? 217 00:11:47,732 --> 00:11:51,013 Haa-haa! 218 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,580 Okay, joke number two: 219 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:55,378 Some termites.. 220 00:11:56,514 --> 00:12:00,546 I mean, huge termites.. ate my house last night. 221 00:12:05,397 --> 00:12:07,760 Uh, it's gone. It's completely gone. 222 00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:10,345 That's it. That's the joke. 223 00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:12,611 Really suck. - Really. 224 00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:14,232 Where are you going? Wait. 225 00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:16,403 Wait. Where are you going? 226 00:12:16,989 --> 00:12:20,112 Hey, look! A bald guy. Am I right? 227 00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:23,306 Haa-haa! 228 00:12:27,982 --> 00:12:30,314 So, who do you think's funny in our class? 229 00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:33,347 Um, Alan Gimball. 230 00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:37,143 Alan Gimball? Why? - 'Cause he's 20. 231 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,029 Oh, so.. so you think dumb people are funny? 232 00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:45,129 If they're that dumb, yeah. 233 00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:48,644 You know who I think is funny? David Barrett. 234 00:12:48,645 --> 00:12:51,129 Oh, yeah, he's hysterical. - He is so clever. 235 00:12:51,277 --> 00:12:53,416 I meant because he looks like a big dork. 236 00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:56,787 What? 237 00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:59,575 All right, let's install this baby. - Sweet! 238 00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:11,097 Did you measure the shelves? - Yes. 239 00:13:11,098 --> 00:13:12,430 Did you measure the closet? - Yes. 240 00:13:12,431 --> 00:13:14,942 Did you measure the door? - Damn! 241 00:13:16,271 --> 00:13:18,207 Listen, if it's storage you're after, 242 00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:20,689 you can put it in the hall closet downstairs. 243 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:22,541 Let me go and get the door for you. 244 00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:24,534 All right,here, keep it sideways. 245 00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:31,055 Uh, Dubcek, hold it. - What? 246 00:13:31,356 --> 00:13:35,005 I got it, I got it, no problem, no problem 247 00:13:37,155 --> 00:13:40,417 Hello? Yeah just a second. Harry, for you. 248 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:46,764 Hello. 249 00:13:48,478 --> 00:13:49,385 Wrong number. 250 00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:53,487 She took it down herself. 251 00:13:55,639 --> 00:13:57,200 Ah, it's all right. 252 00:13:57,201 --> 00:14:00,589 You had the guts to get up there, you know? It takes time. 253 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,706 I have to be funny by tomorrow night! 254 00:14:03,045 --> 00:14:04,219 You're not gonna make it. 255 00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:07,120 I don't know what to do! 256 00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:09,170 Well, don't over-think it, 257 00:14:09,171 --> 00:14:10,331 you know, just, 258 00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:12,651 talk about things you know. That's what I do. 259 00:14:12,733 --> 00:14:16,400 Yeah. You make fun of your poor mother's flabby arms. 260 00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:18,879 Hey, those flabby-arm jokes made her the most 261 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,211 popular senior in Fort Meyers, Florida. 262 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,630 You.. you mean, she doesn't hate you for it? 263 00:14:26,436 --> 00:14:28,412 Hate me? No. 264 00:14:28,413 --> 00:14:32,128 She loves me for it. It's a joke. 265 00:14:32,129 --> 00:14:33,250 You mean, 266 00:14:34,071 --> 00:14:37,185 tricycles don't really fall out of her arms? 267 00:14:38,448 --> 00:14:39,356 Uh, no. 268 00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:43,623 Oh my god! Of course they don't! 269 00:14:44,024 --> 00:14:46,846 I mean, just think how flabby her arms would have to be 270 00:14:46,847 --> 00:14:50,388 for a tricycle to be up in there, and for so many years. 271 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,103 And she didn't even notice it, not even when she took a shower. 272 00:14:54,744 --> 00:14:57,438 That's hysterical. I get it. 273 00:14:58,217 --> 00:14:59,695 I get the joke! 274 00:15:00,096 --> 00:15:03,617 Thank you! Thank you so much! 275 00:15:06,911 --> 00:15:08,277 This should be fun. 276 00:15:10,606 --> 00:15:14,052 Um, I'd like to welcome you all here tonight. 277 00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:15,840 Before we go any further, 278 00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:19,592 I think that we should all acknowledge the sensational job, 279 00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:22,918 that my esteemed colleague, Dr. Mary Albright has done 280 00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:26,906 in organizing this truly worthwhile event. Dr. Albright. 281 00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:34,152 Don't you love Dr. Albright? I know I do. 282 00:15:34,753 --> 00:15:37,082 Now, I know many of you are wondering, 283 00:15:38,131 --> 00:15:39,665 what's with her long sleeves? 284 00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:40,848 Well, I'll tell you. 285 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:43,884 It's to cover up her flabby arms. 286 00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:50,773 She shook them the other day, and the dead sea scrolls fell out. 287 00:15:53,492 --> 00:15:56,734 She's, uh.. she's quite old also, you see. 288 00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:00,989 But you know, as sweet and wonderful, 289 00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:02,941 as Dr. Albright is, 290 00:16:02,942 --> 00:16:05,051 she can also be somewhat domineering, 291 00:16:05,052 --> 00:16:06,998 power-hungry and hostile, 292 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,062 and I think I finally figured out why. 293 00:16:09,063 --> 00:16:11,275 Dr. Albright, while you may not have 294 00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:13,047 a man's genitalia, 295 00:16:13,048 --> 00:16:15,932 at least you have his razor stubble. 296 00:16:23,418 --> 00:16:25,813 Oh, oh, oh! Oh! And there's Nina. 297 00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:28,676 Nina is Dr. Albright's assistant. 298 00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:31,013 Nina, stand up, stand up. Come on, stand up. 299 00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:33,349 Show everybody how you put the "Ass" 300 00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:34,659 in "Assistant". 301 00:16:39,857 --> 00:16:42,231 I left my coat on the bus. - Can you describe it? 302 00:16:42,232 --> 00:16:44,481 Yes, it had eight wheels, hard plastic seats, 303 00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:47,214 and when it stopped, it went, "sh-h-h-h" 304 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,001 Harry, he means the coat. - Oh, oh! 305 00:16:50,002 --> 00:16:52,694 Um, well, it kind of looked like this one, only it was furry.. 306 00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,291 don't have it. Next. 307 00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:57,078 Night Eddie. - See you Monday. 308 00:16:58,414 --> 00:17:02,436 He's got my coat. - Harry, be a man. 309 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:10,739 Hey, Mister, 310 00:17:12,036 --> 00:17:13,292 that's my coat. 311 00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:16,175 No it isn't. - Yeah, that's his coat. 312 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,741 If it's his coat, how come I'm wearing it? 313 00:17:20,526 --> 00:17:21,738 Good point. 314 00:17:26,886 --> 00:17:28,171 Hey babes. 315 00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:31,662 Good morning Dick, did you sleep well? 316 00:17:31,663 --> 00:17:34,190 Once the adrenaline wore off, like a baby. 317 00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:37,790 You know when you've been riding the bullet train to "yuk-ville", 318 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,254 it's kind of hard to slow down. 319 00:17:39,255 --> 00:17:41,833 I've been up all night faxing jokes to Leno. 320 00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:45,260 What have we here? 321 00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:48,376 Eleven banana cream pies! 322 00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:50,718 One for every letter in my name. Am I right? 323 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:51,755 Right. 324 00:17:52,329 --> 00:17:55,410 Oh girls. You shouldn't have. 325 00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:57,874 Oh, we had to. 326 00:17:58,847 --> 00:17:59,861 Really. 327 00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:03,467 You were so funny last night. - Ohh. 328 00:18:03,468 --> 00:18:05,379 I was wondering if you could help us out? 329 00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:07,362 Oh I'd be delighted to share my... 330 00:18:07,363 --> 00:18:09,234 comedic expertise. 331 00:18:09,235 --> 00:18:11,543 We who are clowns are known for our generosity. 332 00:18:11,544 --> 00:18:14,673 Maybe you can help us settle an argument we were having. 333 00:18:14,674 --> 00:18:15,663 Shoot. 334 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:17,516 What's funnier? 335 00:18:18,582 --> 00:18:19,561 This... 336 00:18:22,397 --> 00:18:24,178 or this? 337 00:18:26,327 --> 00:18:29,341 Or... is two at once funny? 338 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:33,154 How about... 339 00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:37,123 this? 340 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,594 Is this funny? 341 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,260 I think... 342 00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:50,335 this. 343 00:18:50,736 --> 00:18:52,373 You are so right! 344 00:18:56,945 --> 00:18:58,952 That is funny! 345 00:19:15,818 --> 00:19:17,901 Thank you so much for helping us. 346 00:19:17,902 --> 00:19:19,917 I'm glad I could be of service. 347 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,693 Now if you'll excuse me, 348 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:26,139 I have a class to teach. 349 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:38,594 You know, it's a remarkable feeling 350 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,661 to be able to make someone else laugh. 351 00:19:40,820 --> 00:19:42,512 It's almost as if you have the power 352 00:19:42,513 --> 00:19:45,188 to get inside their brain, and tickle it. 353 00:19:46,023 --> 00:19:47,707 I can do that with a chopstick. 354 00:19:48,483 --> 00:19:50,314 Imagine how different war would be, 355 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,694 if instead of trying to kill each other, 356 00:19:51,695 --> 00:19:53,811 people just showed up armed with jokes. 357 00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,949 But you could still have guns, right? 358 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:58,493 Because, you know, eventually you'd stop laughing, 359 00:19:58,494 --> 00:20:00,098 and want to get on with the killing. 360 00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:03,804 You know what I found out? Humour's subjective. 361 00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:04,449 What do you mean? 362 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:06,570 Well, I thought the fact that no one was laughing at you 363 00:20:06,571 --> 00:20:08,266 at the comedy club was hysterical. 364 00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:09,141 Oh, I loved that. 365 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:10,778 No no. No, that wasn't funny. 366 00:20:10,779 --> 00:20:12,818 See? - Which is also ironic. 367 00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:16,704 You were at a comedy club, and no one was laughing. 368 00:20:18,149 --> 00:20:19,361 Hey shut up all of you! 369 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,582 Well I think I'm gonna take my furry little friend for a walk. 370 00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,696 He's been locked in the basement all week. 371 00:20:25,697 --> 00:20:28,918 You know, why do they call it a "fur coat" anyway? 372 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,792 It's not made of fur, and it's not a coat. 373 00:20:32,515 --> 00:20:35,364 Uh, actually Harry, it's both those things. 374 00:20:35,665 --> 00:20:37,386 It was a joke. 375 00:20:37,587 --> 00:20:39,553 Ohh! 376 00:20:41,514 --> 00:20:42,741 Good night everybody. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net