1 00:00:01,088 --> 00:00:02,950 Hello! - Hi, Dick. 2 00:00:02,951 --> 00:00:04,065 I brought home a pizza. 3 00:00:05,582 --> 00:00:08,187 Hey, Dick, how was your day? - Sally, what are you doing here? 4 00:00:08,188 --> 00:00:09,461 I thought you were supposed to be out 5 00:00:09,462 --> 00:00:11,939 investigating your chemical attraction to Mr. Randell. 6 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:12,956 We had a date, 7 00:00:12,957 --> 00:00:14,810 but he had to cancel. His mother came in town. 8 00:00:14,811 --> 00:00:15,610 So? 9 00:00:15,611 --> 00:00:18,153 I don't know, he said he wanted to break me to her gently. 10 00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:21,764 So Dick, aren't you going to ask me how my day went? 11 00:00:21,765 --> 00:00:23,308 Good work, Harry. Well-Done. 12 00:00:23,309 --> 00:00:25,157 Sally, 13 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,752 just because you haven't been invited somewhere 14 00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:29,507 is no reason not to go. 15 00:00:29,508 --> 00:00:31,786 Your next assignment is to meet this mother 16 00:00:31,787 --> 00:00:33,526 and study her maternal power. 17 00:00:34,432 --> 00:00:36,341 I could seduce her if you like. 18 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,657 Uh, no, Harry. 19 00:00:38,658 --> 00:00:40,790 Tommy, have you infiltrated the glee club yet? 20 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,416 Yeah, they're very happy. 21 00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:45,992 End of report. - Good work, Tommy. 22 00:00:45,993 --> 00:00:48,753 Hey, what about me? - Well, what about you? 23 00:00:48,754 --> 00:00:50,752 That's my point. You're the high commander, 24 00:00:50,753 --> 00:00:53,687 and she's in charge of security. He's the information officer. 25 00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:55,357 What am I? - Well, you're... 26 00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:57,901 you're Harry. 27 00:00:58,748 --> 00:01:01,089 Oh, sure, I got the fancy title, 28 00:01:02,575 --> 00:01:06,658 but what do I do? What am I good at? - Uhhh... 29 00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:09,142 you.. you paint. - Oh, yeah, I like painting. 30 00:01:09,143 --> 00:01:11,393 Painting, yes. great, go, paint. 31 00:01:11,394 --> 00:01:13,679 Oh, okay, off to my painting. 32 00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:16,508 Just yell if you need me. - Sure, whatever. 33 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:19,484 Oh, Dick, they've screwed it up again! 34 00:01:19,485 --> 00:01:21,901 Oh, man! - Oh, damn! 35 00:02:04,035 --> 00:02:06,822 What's this, Tommy? - "Star wars." It's a movie. 36 00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:07,823 What's all that supposed to be? 37 00:02:07,824 --> 00:02:09,895 Outer space. Can you believe it? 38 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,794 If outer space was that happen, 39 00:02:13,795 --> 00:02:15,326 I never would have left. 40 00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:19,894 Hey Tommy, I'm almost ready. - Whoa! Where are you going? 41 00:02:19,895 --> 00:02:22,207 I'm taking Tommy to school. - Oh. 42 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,194 Well, be sure to talk to that Mr. Randell. 43 00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:26,200 Oh, will he be there? 44 00:02:26,201 --> 00:02:27,528 Gosh, I hope I don't distract him. 45 00:02:27,529 --> 00:02:29,425 Ow! Ow, ow, ow. 46 00:02:29,426 --> 00:02:33,043 You are in big trouble, and big, big trouble. 47 00:02:33,044 --> 00:02:33,792 What's going on? 48 00:02:33,793 --> 00:02:35,712 He was painting something awful on the side of the house. 49 00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:37,439 A post-impressionist urban mural. 50 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,815 I was given full permission. Tell her, Dick. 51 00:02:40,816 --> 00:02:44,004 Well, I promise you, Mrs. Dubcek, Harry will not go unpunished. 52 00:02:44,005 --> 00:02:46,009 He will sit in his room and think about what he did 53 00:02:46,010 --> 00:02:47,422 while you repaint your house. 54 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,948 Idle hands do the devil's work. When I was a young girl.. 55 00:02:52,949 --> 00:02:55,342 the glacier receded, creating the great lakes. 56 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,231 I'm sure it was incredible. Bye-bye, now. 57 00:02:57,232 --> 00:02:59,545 Good-bye. Bye-bye, now. Good-bye. 58 00:03:01,241 --> 00:03:02,679 Well, thanks a lot, Dick. 59 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,969 You tell me to paint, 60 00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:06,767 and then you hang me out to dry like a shirt, 61 00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:09,188 a wet shirt. 62 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:13,440 A wet shirt that needs drying. 63 00:03:15,391 --> 00:03:18,213 Why is Harry so upset all of a sudden? Is he mad at me? 64 00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:20,714 No. He just feels left out. 65 00:03:20,715 --> 00:03:24,355 He's searching for his identity, so he's acting up to get your attention. 66 00:03:24,356 --> 00:03:28,017 How do you know all this? - I see it with sophomores all the time. 67 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,775 What he needs now is an authority figure. 68 00:03:30,776 --> 00:03:32,682 He's got an authority figure. I'm the high commander. 69 00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:34,594 No, I mean a parent. - Yes. 70 00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:37,159 Mr. Randell has a mother, and he turned out dreamy. 71 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:41,555 Of course... Harry needs a father. 72 00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:43,548 I should have seen it. 73 00:03:43,549 --> 00:03:46,011 Well, I can fill those shoes. 74 00:03:46,012 --> 00:03:47,640 I'm pretending to be your father. 75 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:50,280 Of course, I may have to neglect you for awhile. 76 00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:53,178 I know. I don't mind. You're a terrible father, anyway. 77 00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:56,163 Well, you're a lousy son. 78 00:03:56,164 --> 00:03:58,046 I'm old and set in my ways. 79 00:03:58,047 --> 00:04:00,571 It's going to be different with my second son. 80 00:04:02,498 --> 00:04:05,330 I'm going to be a terrific father to Harry. - Oh, sure. 81 00:04:05,331 --> 00:04:08,393 And I'm going to start off by being completely honest with him. 82 00:04:08,394 --> 00:04:10,691 What do you mean, honest? - I'm going to tell him about that 83 00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:13,029 "thing" that they put in his head. 84 00:04:13,030 --> 00:04:15,600 Oh, no, no. - You can't tell him about the thing. 85 00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:17,783 Telling him about the thing would be a bad thing. 86 00:04:18,819 --> 00:04:21,062 Shh! Ix-nay on the thing-thay. 87 00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:24,631 Uh, Harry, I've made a decision. 88 00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:26,284 From now on, 89 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:29,027 I don't want you to think of me as your commander. 90 00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:31,227 I want you to think of me as a father, 91 00:04:31,928 --> 00:04:33,684 a father who outranks you. 92 00:04:35,255 --> 00:04:38,655 Well, a father? Why? - Guidance, emotional support. 93 00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:40,154 I'll be there for you. 94 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,512 I'll be the wind beneath your sheets. 95 00:04:43,592 --> 00:04:47,269 Harry, you need anything at all, you come to me. 96 00:04:47,876 --> 00:04:50,579 Well, okay. Can I borrow the car? 97 00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:51,971 No. - Can I have some cash? 98 00:04:51,972 --> 00:04:54,099 No. - Can I bring a woman to my room? 99 00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:56,707 Never happen. - Sure. 100 00:05:00,285 --> 00:05:02,634 Oh, well, thanks, commander. 101 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,839 I mean, Dick.. dad. 102 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:06,737 Father Dick. 103 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,266 Oh. 104 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:16,031 Hostilities didn't begin to escalate 105 00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:19,786 until the confederate troops attacked fort Sumter. 106 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:24,115 And four years later, the war is pretty much over. 107 00:05:26,532 --> 00:05:29,194 Mr. Randell. - Sally. 108 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,346 Hey, Solomon. - What? 109 00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:37,486 Are Randell and your aunt like, uh, you know? 110 00:05:37,487 --> 00:05:40,465 You know? - You know? 111 00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:44,131 I don't know, why don't you raise your hand and ask, you mook? 112 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,806 So, did you want to talk to me about Tommy? 113 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,053 No. Tommy's doing fine. - Oh. 114 00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,543 Well, then, since I'm here, 115 00:05:53,544 --> 00:05:54,938 can I meet your mother? 116 00:05:56,743 --> 00:05:58,298 I don't know that you're ready to meet my mother. 117 00:05:58,299 --> 00:05:59,719 We could have dinner, the three of us. 118 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,720 You don't think it's a little early? - No, no. 119 00:06:00,721 --> 00:06:03,875 I think breakfast would be early. Dinner's fine. 120 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,002 I don't know, Sally. 121 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,410 She's not an easy person to get to know. 122 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,917 She's extremely protective, and she never thinks 123 00:06:11,918 --> 00:06:13,934 anyone or any thing is good enough for me. 124 00:06:13,983 --> 00:06:16,281 I think she's really going to like me... 125 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:18,572 a lot. 126 00:06:19,235 --> 00:06:21,275 Hey, bye, Tommy. 127 00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:29,002 ...Which can be directly applied 128 00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:32,684 to newton's second law of motion 129 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,920 which, for personal reasons, is my favourite. 130 00:06:36,107 --> 00:06:38,924 Isaac newton, of course, has been called 131 00:06:38,925 --> 00:06:42,079 the father of modern physics, which brings me to another question. 132 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,174 How many of you have fathers? Show of hands. Anyone? Fathers? 133 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,069 Everyone has fathers. Good. 134 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:52,550 So, who would like to relate some fatheresque experiences, 135 00:06:52,551 --> 00:06:54,312 something very fathely? 136 00:06:54,786 --> 00:06:56,618 Uh, okay, well, 137 00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:58,465 my father and I have this very special.. 138 00:06:58,466 --> 00:07:00,916 no, no, no, Caryn. Please. 139 00:07:00,917 --> 00:07:04,220 I'm only interested in father-son experiences. 140 00:07:04,738 --> 00:07:09,158 Bug? tell me about your father. - My father? Very strict. 141 00:07:09,159 --> 00:07:10,555 It didn't matter that I was the youngest. 142 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:14,270 When I'd act up, he'd give me his belt. - You wore the same size? 143 00:07:15,373 --> 00:07:18,368 As punishment, he'd put me over his knee and give me a whooping. 144 00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:20,729 So he gave you a whooping and a belt? 145 00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,171 Uh, with a belt. 146 00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:24,943 And then he gave you the belt? 147 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,587 Um.....yeah. 148 00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,588 Leon, did your dad ever give you a belt? 149 00:07:33,589 --> 00:07:35,513 No. No, my dad's great. 150 00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:36,847 We have this tradition, 151 00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:39,398 every August, we rent a cabin on lake Erie. 152 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:41,899 We pick up a case of tall boys, get faced, 153 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,580 and hit on the girls who rent the pontoon boats. 154 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,767 He's really good at it. 155 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,327 Tomorrow there will be a pop quiz 156 00:07:52,328 --> 00:07:54,391 on the effects of thermal dynamics 157 00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:55,752 Remember, it's a pop quiz. 158 00:07:55,753 --> 00:07:57,760 If you study, I'll know. 159 00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:03,245 Harry! 160 00:08:03,923 --> 00:08:07,256 Son, look what I brought home for us. 161 00:08:08,901 --> 00:08:11,108 It's a six-pack of tall boys. 162 00:08:11,109 --> 00:08:13,875 Let's say we get faced and then I'll give you my belt. 163 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,122 Forget it, man. - What's this? 164 00:08:20,123 --> 00:08:23,245 I'm cutting out. I'm blowing this joint. 165 00:08:23,246 --> 00:08:25,315 I'm taking some powder. 166 00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:28,252 You're leaving? You can't leave. - Face it, Dick. 167 00:08:28,253 --> 00:08:29,970 I have no purpose here. 168 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:31,837 I'll find you a purpose. 169 00:08:31,838 --> 00:08:35,332 I'll set up a meeting for you with the campus job counselor. 170 00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:38,111 That's your world, man, not mine. 171 00:08:38,712 --> 00:08:41,484 See, I'm rejecting all that "9-to-5, 172 00:08:41,485 --> 00:08:43,118 make a living, become a success, 173 00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:44,718 feel good about yourself crap. 174 00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:47,545 That's a sucker's game, man. 175 00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:50,668 Well, colour me gone. 176 00:08:50,669 --> 00:08:53,555 But, Harry.. wait. You're part of the unit. 177 00:08:53,556 --> 00:08:56,254 We need you. - What do you need me for? 178 00:08:56,255 --> 00:08:58,791 Well, uh... because... we love you, 179 00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:01,470 and you're important to the family, 180 00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:03,950 and, uh... you're so pretty. 181 00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:10,341 Well, I may be pretty, but I know I'm not important. 182 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,887 Well no, Harry..you are important. 183 00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:16,802 I wasn't going to say this. 184 00:09:17,268 --> 00:09:17,803 Harry, 185 00:09:19,906 --> 00:09:21,974 you've got a thing in your head. 186 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,196 A thing? 187 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:29,687 A cranial micro receiver chip. 188 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,549 In my head? - Yes, 189 00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:35,814 but it's not in the part you use. It's in your brain. 190 00:09:40,585 --> 00:09:41,896 This is so exciting. 191 00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:45,313 I think it's every little girl's dream to meet her boyfriend's mother. 192 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,267 I always thought it was to get married. 193 00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:52,574 Mr. Randell, it's only been two dates. 194 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,362 When? 195 00:09:57,371 --> 00:09:59,440 Hi, honey. - Mother. 196 00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:00,596 Mmm! 197 00:10:00,946 --> 00:10:03,584 Well, this is Sally. 198 00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:06,143 Mrs. Randell, it is such a pleasure to meet you. 199 00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:08,784 You sure squeezed out a winner, lady. 200 00:10:12,431 --> 00:10:16,172 Why, thank you. - Why don't we sit down? 201 00:10:18,365 --> 00:10:20,388 Now, which Sally are you? 202 00:10:22,696 --> 00:10:26,024 The only Sally. - I have to apologize. 203 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,182 It's just that he's so darn handsome. 204 00:10:28,183 --> 00:10:31,652 He attracts so many women, I tend to get you all confused. 205 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,072 Actually, mother, I was the one 206 00:10:33,073 --> 00:10:36,520 who was attracted to Sally. She has a beautiful smile. 207 00:10:36,521 --> 00:10:38,790 Oh, absolutely. Are those caps? 208 00:10:38,791 --> 00:10:40,950 Oh, no, they're teeth, 209 00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:43,353 they go all the way back. See? 210 00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:47,388 Isn't she sweet? Hm hmm. 211 00:10:50,431 --> 00:10:53,376 So I have a receiver chip in my brain? 212 00:10:53,411 --> 00:10:55,758 And I have this, why? 213 00:10:55,759 --> 00:10:57,983 Well, because 214 00:10:57,984 --> 00:11:00,802 sometimes our supreme leader, 215 00:11:00,803 --> 00:11:02,221 the big giant head, 216 00:11:02,222 --> 00:11:04,822 well, he needs to communicate with us, 217 00:11:04,823 --> 00:11:07,397 and we picked you.. you, Harry. 218 00:11:07,398 --> 00:11:10,663 Without you, we can't maintain contact with the home office. 219 00:11:10,664 --> 00:11:13,517 There now, don't you see how important you are? 220 00:11:13,518 --> 00:11:17,733 Oh well... does Tommy know about this? - Yes. 221 00:11:17,734 --> 00:11:20,286 Does Sally know about this? - Yes. 222 00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:23,853 Do you know about this? 223 00:11:25,516 --> 00:11:26,628 Yes. 224 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,825 Look, I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner, but.. 225 00:11:30,826 --> 00:11:33,534 isn't it neat to find out new things about yourself? 226 00:11:35,536 --> 00:11:39,431 You have destroyed my life! 227 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,512 Harry, please. - Oh-hh, so it's okay 228 00:11:42,513 --> 00:11:44,662 for me to have a thing in my head, 229 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:47,901 but it's not okay for me to know about it? 230 00:11:47,902 --> 00:11:51,251 And you call yourself a father. 231 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,662 I'm out of here. 232 00:11:52,663 --> 00:11:55,309 No, Harry, you are not leaving! 233 00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,511 You're coming right back here! That's an order. 234 00:11:59,537 --> 00:12:01,609 You know, Dick, if you were my father, 235 00:12:01,644 --> 00:12:04,088 I would think that you would care enough about my feelings 236 00:12:04,089 --> 00:12:05,671 to just let me go. 237 00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,524 You're right. You need to sort this out for yourself.. 238 00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:10,415 Go. 239 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:13,951 But as high commander, I must have access to that transmitter. 240 00:12:13,952 --> 00:12:15,233 Stay! 241 00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,376 But I want you to have your own space. 242 00:12:18,377 --> 00:12:20,108 Go. 243 00:12:20,109 --> 00:12:22,146 But I can't allow this breach of protocol. 244 00:12:22,147 --> 00:12:23,956 I order you to stay! 245 00:12:23,957 --> 00:12:26,326 Leave the nest. Fly. 246 00:12:26,327 --> 00:12:28,837 I need your head. You come back here! 247 00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:31,951 I'm sorry. Go. No, stay! 248 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,316 No, go! Stay! Go! 249 00:12:34,317 --> 00:12:35,614 Stop! 250 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:40,523 You're tearing me apart! 251 00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:53,075 Give me a beer. - What kind? 252 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,570 The kind you drink. 253 00:13:14,439 --> 00:13:17,014 Hi, I'm margueritte. Who are you? 254 00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,437 I don't know who I am. 255 00:13:19,838 --> 00:13:20,954 All I know is 256 00:13:20,955 --> 00:13:23,394 I got something inside my head, 257 00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:25,757 something that could go off at any minute, 258 00:13:25,758 --> 00:13:28,819 some sort of answering machine 259 00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:30,391 with some cosmic message 260 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,429 sent from somewhere out there 261 00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:34,351 in the universe. 262 00:13:35,218 --> 00:13:36,488 I'm an Aquarius. 263 00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:40,868 Hey, who are you talking to? 264 00:13:40,869 --> 00:13:43,689 I don't know, some guy. - Was he hitting on you? 265 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,201 Why? You jealous? 266 00:13:45,202 --> 00:13:47,738 Hey, you talkin' to my girl? 267 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,718 You don't look old enough to be her father. 268 00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:51,798 What are you, 269 00:13:52,234 --> 00:13:53,743 a comedian? 270 00:13:54,213 --> 00:13:57,297 No, that would be buddy Hackett. 271 00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,072 You got wheels? - On my car. 272 00:14:01,044 --> 00:14:02,360 Okay, you and me, pal. 273 00:14:02,361 --> 00:14:04,757 Dead man's curve. We're gonna play a game of chicken. 274 00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:07,957 I'll stop at the colonel's! 275 00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:14,220 I wonder how he's doing out there all by himself. 276 00:14:15,085 --> 00:14:17,493 You know, if you're a bad father, they leave. 277 00:14:17,494 --> 00:14:19,801 If you're a good father, they leave. 278 00:14:19,802 --> 00:14:22,300 A parent's love is like a river. 279 00:14:22,301 --> 00:14:24,889 No matter how deep or strong its current, 280 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:28,029 it's always flowing towards a sea of separation. 281 00:14:28,030 --> 00:14:31,486 Lighten up, Dick. You're going to give yourself a hallmark hernia. 282 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,506 Hello. Yes? 283 00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:39,442 The police? You've got Harry? 284 00:14:39,442 --> 00:14:42,498 He crashed the car... at dead man's curve? 285 00:14:42,772 --> 00:14:43,499 We'll be right over. 286 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,129 Tommy, something terrible has happened. 287 00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:46,928 Harry crashed the car at dead man's curve. 288 00:14:47,394 --> 00:14:49,773 Why is the father always the last to know? 289 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,375 Okay, so we've left the dance, 290 00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:57,849 and we're parked in your son's car... - Sally 291 00:14:57,850 --> 00:15:00,445 and he can't seem to undo the top hook. 292 00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:03,109 Sally, please don't. Oh come on. 293 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,601 it's a cute story. 294 00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:07,806 Let her talk. - I ordered the salmon. What did you order? 295 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:11,458 My, that's an interesting dress you're wearing. - You like my dress? 296 00:15:11,459 --> 00:15:13,728 Good, 'cause I didn't know if you'd be impressed 297 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,245 by how confident I am to wear a dress like this. 298 00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:19,583 Or maybe I should have gone with something a little more conservative, 299 00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:21,660 as if to say "what's underneath here 300 00:15:21,661 --> 00:15:23,927 is not for anybody but your son". 301 00:15:25,885 --> 00:15:28,970 Well, I think that dress says it's not just for my son, 302 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,075 it's for the whole room. 303 00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:34,044 Good. That's a relief. 304 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,663 If you want to control my life, you could be more subtle about it. 305 00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:39,634 I don't want to intrude, 306 00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:41,469 so if you'll excuse me, 307 00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,778 I'm going to the ladies' room. 308 00:15:46,581 --> 00:15:48,899 I think she's upset with you. I'm going to talk to her. 309 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:52,634 Sally, I don't think it's-- - Shh! I'm doing it for you. 310 00:15:58,972 --> 00:16:01,104 Frances, are you all right? 311 00:16:01,105 --> 00:16:04,103 Me? I'm fine, honey. It's you I'm worried about. 312 00:16:04,104 --> 00:16:05,540 Me? 313 00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:07,322 Well, 314 00:16:07,323 --> 00:16:10,667 I'm afraid you're just not my son's type. 315 00:16:10,668 --> 00:16:13,038 What do you mean? - Now, don't get me wrong. 316 00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:16,145 You're really not half as cheap as you look. 317 00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:20,272 I get it. You're insulting me, aren't you? 318 00:16:20,273 --> 00:16:23,764 I have made such a huge mistake. 319 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:26,797 I thought you were nice, but you're not nice. 320 00:16:26,798 --> 00:16:27,846 You hate me. 321 00:16:27,847 --> 00:16:31,712 I am so glad we finally understand each other. 322 00:16:31,713 --> 00:16:34,225 Me, too, Frances, 'cause as long as I'm going to date your son, 323 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:35,585 I don't want any problems. 324 00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:38,207 Over my dead body. 325 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,899 Doable. 326 00:16:46,992 --> 00:16:48,657 If you're going to throw a punch, 327 00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:52,327 try putting your weight into it, like this. 328 00:16:54,052 --> 00:16:55,263 Ow! 329 00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:58,718 Will the ladies be returning? 330 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:01,686 One of them will. 331 00:17:06,876 --> 00:17:10,172 I'm Dr. Solomon. Where's my son, my son Harry? 332 00:17:10,173 --> 00:17:11,980 Well the good news is he's alive. 333 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,983 Oh, thank god! 334 00:17:13,984 --> 00:17:17,627 But I have to warn you, he don't look so good. 335 00:17:20,676 --> 00:17:22,436 That's what he always looks like. 336 00:17:24,828 --> 00:17:27,190 Harry! - Oh, Dick. 337 00:17:27,191 --> 00:17:28,863 Harry, I've failed you. 338 00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,547 If I'd been there for you when you needed me, 339 00:17:31,548 --> 00:17:34,360 then you wouldn't have run out of the house. You could have died. 340 00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:37,020 Dick, I almost did die. 341 00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:38,296 What happened? 342 00:17:38,297 --> 00:17:41,719 It was the most amazing journey. - What do you mean? 343 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,544 I was leaving the colonel after picking up chicken-- - Wait. Why a chicken? 344 00:17:45,545 --> 00:17:48,064 Long story short, I have no idea. 345 00:17:48,492 --> 00:17:51,201 So, I was on my way to the big race, 346 00:17:51,202 --> 00:17:54,054 and a paper bag blew across the road. 347 00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:56,242 I was afraid it was full of bunnies, so I swerved. 348 00:17:59,218 --> 00:18:01,831 And right as the car was flying into the ditch, 349 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:06,363 my whole life flashed before my eyes. 350 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,727 Harry, I don't mean to be insensitive, but what's your point? 351 00:18:11,728 --> 00:18:13,741 Well, all I could think was, 352 00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:17,063 "I have a rage to live". 353 00:18:17,064 --> 00:18:19,231 And then the car landed, and I said, 354 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,483 "hey, world, I'm alive! 355 00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:23,588 And these pants are washable." 356 00:18:28,318 --> 00:18:31,075 That's a beautiful story. - Thank you. 357 00:18:31,595 --> 00:18:33,410 Oh, Dick, it doesn't matter 358 00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:35,898 that I'm an underling with a thing in my head. 359 00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:38,385 What matters most is life itself. 360 00:18:38,386 --> 00:18:40,157 And the greatest thing about life 361 00:18:40,158 --> 00:18:41,829 is not having a purpose. 362 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:45,213 It's finding... a purpose. 363 00:18:45,214 --> 00:18:46,571 Why, Harry, 364 00:18:46,572 --> 00:18:48,876 you sound exactly like me. 365 00:18:49,577 --> 00:18:52,253 Like fake father, like fake son. 366 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:55,850 Dick, could we just drop the father thing 367 00:18:55,851 --> 00:18:58,013 and go back to being fake brothers? 368 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,306 You don't want me to be your dad anymore? - No. 369 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,561 Good, 370 00:19:04,058 --> 00:19:07,161 because I was this close to drop-kicking your sorry butt 371 00:19:07,196 --> 00:19:09,542 from here to the outlet mall! 372 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,096 I'm sorry you had to pay the damages at the restaurant. 373 00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:22,113 No, it was worth the 1700 dollars. 374 00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,838 Wait till my brother's wife hears about this. 375 00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:27,938 Once at Christmas, she took a clumsy swing, 376 00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:30,614 but mom got her in a headlock and she blacked out. 377 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,621 You were great. - I really liked her. 378 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,931 I don't think she liked you. - I didn't like her, either. 379 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,085 I really like you, though. 380 00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:40,861 Same here. 381 00:19:43,603 --> 00:19:44,610 Ow! 382 00:19:45,313 --> 00:19:47,430 Your mother wears a lot of rings. 383 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,140 No... 384 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,311 pain can be good. 385 00:19:59,219 --> 00:20:01,683 You know, someday I'd like to be a real father 386 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,784 with a real son.. 387 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,549 a little guy who'd be sweet and cuddly, 388 00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:07,957 pink and puffy, 389 00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:09,890 just like his old man. 390 00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:14,454 You do realize that your son could wind up being a daughter? 391 00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:16,859 Oh, no, no, not my son. 392 00:20:18,307 --> 00:20:20,992 I bet Mr. Randell would make a great father. 393 00:20:20,993 --> 00:20:23,592 I can see him now, sitting with his kids, 394 00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:25,262 helping them with their homework, 395 00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:28,169 telling them what a cow pie their grandmother is. 396 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,018 A lovley image. 397 00:20:31,686 --> 00:20:33,395 Yeah, all this romance talk 398 00:20:33,396 --> 00:20:34,947 makes me want to call my girlfriend. 399 00:20:35,607 --> 00:20:37,690 Hey, Harry, can you give me a dial tone? 400 00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,667 Well, aren't we witty. 401 00:20:43,983 --> 00:20:47,136 Let me ask you this. Has the big giant head ever called us? 402 00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:50,057 Not yet. - How will we know when he does? 403 00:20:50,058 --> 00:20:52,107 Well, when the big giant head calls. 404 00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:53,845 Harry will suddenly go blank 405 00:20:53,846 --> 00:20:55,855 and stare off into space. 406 00:20:58,317 --> 00:21:01,397 Like I said, how will we know when he does? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net