1 00:00:06,324 --> 00:00:08,121 It's a perfect night for observing. 2 00:00:08,122 --> 00:00:10,333 It's warm, dark. The air is crystal clear. 3 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:12,577 Okay, they're in bed. 4 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,849 You know, I'm not satisfied 5 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:23,346 watching the Mullers from afar. This isn't what humans do. 6 00:00:23,347 --> 00:00:26,138 Humans don't just observe each other. They interact. 7 00:00:26,139 --> 00:00:29,781 We should make contact with them. - Ohh! 8 00:00:29,782 --> 00:00:32,817 Here's something different. 9 00:00:33,879 --> 00:00:36,788 You know, without their clothes, they seem kind of.. 10 00:00:36,789 --> 00:00:39,341 gelatinous? - Yeah. 11 00:00:40,131 --> 00:00:43,309 What is he looking for? - I'm not sure yet. 12 00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:46,987 Wait. Wait! Yes, this is it. 13 00:00:46,988 --> 00:00:49,099 I believe they're going to mate. 14 00:00:51,847 --> 00:00:53,680 Tommy, pay attention. 15 00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,312 Why? This is like 16 00:00:55,313 --> 00:00:57,847 sweating to the oldies without music. 17 00:00:57,848 --> 00:01:00,409 This is important. 18 00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:02,909 Sex is how humans enrich their relationships 19 00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:05,256 and reaffirm the commitment they've made to each other. 20 00:01:05,257 --> 00:01:07,533 It's the most sacred, intimate part.. - they're done. 21 00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:11,493 Already? 22 00:01:11,796 --> 00:01:14,431 Thank you very much! 23 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,445 with the fiery eyes? 24 00:02:01,261 --> 00:02:03,076 Katie couric. 25 00:02:04,619 --> 00:02:07,263 Katie couric. 26 00:02:07,264 --> 00:02:11,212 It sounds like something beautiful stuck in your throat. 27 00:02:11,213 --> 00:02:13,231 Mrs. Dubcek, 28 00:02:13,232 --> 00:02:15,512 I need to go next door and become neighborly. 29 00:02:15,513 --> 00:02:20,366 What do you know about the Mullers? - They're lovely, very nice. 30 00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,903 Of course, I shouldn't talk. 31 00:02:23,904 --> 00:02:26,729 It's true your voice is not one of your best assets, 32 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,945 but go ahead. - All right. 33 00:02:29,463 --> 00:02:31,497 The Mullers have had their ups and downs. 34 00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:35,056 I guess her husband had some problems in the bedroom area. 35 00:02:35,057 --> 00:02:36,548 Which area? The closet? 36 00:02:36,549 --> 00:02:38,937 That's what I thought it was at first, too, 37 00:02:38,938 --> 00:02:41,518 but it turned out to be a vitamin deficiency. 38 00:02:41,519 --> 00:02:45,113 Vitamin deficiency? Mr. Muller and I can talk about that. 39 00:02:45,114 --> 00:02:47,080 No, no. Stick to sports or cars. 40 00:02:47,081 --> 00:02:49,812 Cars, yes. That's great! 41 00:02:50,364 --> 00:02:52,574 I have a car. 42 00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:56,089 Oh, why am I doing this to myself? 43 00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:59,888 She probably doesn't even know I'm alive. 44 00:03:01,209 --> 00:03:04,371 No, she knows. 45 00:03:18,026 --> 00:03:21,808 Hi there, neighbour. You know anything about cars? - Is this your car? 46 00:03:21,809 --> 00:03:24,232 Yeah. I seem to be having some trouble with my... 47 00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:25,804 spark nuts. 48 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,466 Well sometimes with these old ones, 49 00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,602 you're better just to call the junk man and have it towed away. 50 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,898 No, I couldn't do that. I love this car. 51 00:03:34,899 --> 00:03:37,628 It has a compartment just for gloves. 52 00:03:37,712 --> 00:03:39,838 Dick Solomon. - Frank Muller. 53 00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:40,789 Haven't seen you around much. 54 00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:43,416 I've seen a lot of you and your wife. 55 00:03:46,737 --> 00:03:49,514 She says you're some big deal professor at the college. 56 00:03:49,515 --> 00:03:51,699 Hardly. It's quantum astrophysics. 57 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,185 A drugged monkey could do it. 58 00:03:54,163 --> 00:03:56,884 What about you? - I work the line at the ball bearing plant. 59 00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:58,421 No, the cincor plant? - Yeah. 60 00:03:58,422 --> 00:04:01,457 Are you kidding? I love your bearings. 61 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,078 What do you make? Thrust bearings or linear? 62 00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:06,375 Actually, I do journal bearings. 63 00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,981 Wow! Is that plain or rolling contact? 64 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,479 On a good day, both. 65 00:04:11,104 --> 00:04:13,288 Man, the stories you must have. 66 00:04:13,289 --> 00:04:15,914 A few, a few. 67 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:21,811 I thought you'd be more of an egghead. - No, all meat. 68 00:04:30,654 --> 00:04:33,851 Frank! - There's the boss. 69 00:04:34,704 --> 00:04:36,942 Well, I'll see you around. 70 00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:39,368 Oh, no big deal, 71 00:04:39,369 --> 00:04:41,170 but your car's parked 72 00:04:41,171 --> 00:04:44,421 about eight inches over the property line. Could you watch that? 73 00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:46,797 I'll go you one better. I'll stop doing it. 74 00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:48,776 Thanks, friend. 75 00:04:51,866 --> 00:04:54,395 "Friend." 76 00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:01,327 Watching television is amazing. 77 00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:04,128 I haven't had a thought in my head for three hours. 78 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:07,208 And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 79 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:11,485 Pseudofamily. - Where have you been? 80 00:05:11,486 --> 00:05:12,884 I have been... 81 00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:15,306 in Frank Muller's garage. 82 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,981 We bragged, we laughed, we tinkered. 83 00:05:17,982 --> 00:05:19,893 He let me touch his stuff. 84 00:05:21,393 --> 00:05:22,220 It feels so good to be around Frank. 85 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:25,602 It fills an empty space I've been feeling right here. 86 00:05:25,603 --> 00:05:27,864 I think it's because we're friends. 87 00:05:27,865 --> 00:05:31,675 So no one told you it was gonna be this way. 88 00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:38,040 What is this? - Shake 'n bake chicken. Just eat it. 89 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:41,414 No, this isn't chicken. This is just... flakes. 90 00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:44,666 Okay, stay right there. - Sally, you must learn to cook. 91 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:47,465 How far do you think you're going to go with just a fabulous body 92 00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:50,483 and the intellect of a genius? - The box had a picture of a chicken on it. 93 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,933 I shaked it, I baked it. What else am I supposed to do with it? 94 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:57,318 Why don't you ask Mrs. Muller? Get close to her. 95 00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:59,000 I'm sure she knows how to cook something. 96 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:01,364 Do I have to? - Yes. They're plump. We're emaciated. 97 00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:02,812 You do the maths. 98 00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:05,767 Making a friend is so simple. 99 00:06:05,768 --> 00:06:07,533 You may not be as good at it as I am, 100 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,007 but I command you to try. - What is the point? 101 00:06:10,008 --> 00:06:13,073 We're not going to learn about humans by watching television. 102 00:06:13,074 --> 00:06:15,638 We have to mix ourselves among them, 103 00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:17,477 walk a mile in their pants. 104 00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:20,768 I just don't know how to talk to women. 105 00:06:20,769 --> 00:06:22,777 I'm sure you can find something to say to her. 106 00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:25,753 You could walk on the beach and discuss itching. 107 00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,560 Oh, how exciting. 108 00:06:31,561 --> 00:06:33,713 I am so glad I get to be the woman. 109 00:06:33,714 --> 00:06:37,213 Next planet, I get to be something big with horns. 110 00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:40,500 Okay, so the shake 'n bake 111 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,445 is just a cocoon for the chicken. - Yep. 112 00:06:44,057 --> 00:06:46,648 And chiclets are not chicken at all, right? 113 00:06:46,649 --> 00:06:49,994 You're not from Ohio, are you? - No. 114 00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:51,455 I can tell. 115 00:06:52,173 --> 00:06:55,335 I don't envy you having to take care of three men. 116 00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:58,025 I only got Frank, and he's a full-time job. 117 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:01,521 Just once I'd like to see that man pick up a sock. 118 00:07:01,995 --> 00:07:04,470 I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink. 119 00:07:04,942 --> 00:07:06,718 I'd like to see them do laundry. 120 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,704 I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels 121 00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:10,702 and ground into a fine paste 122 00:07:13,591 --> 00:07:16,653 You know, I'd like to see that myself. 123 00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:18,965 You let me know. 124 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:25,813 Oh, you're dangerous. - Oh, yes, I am. 125 00:07:26,637 --> 00:07:30,716 I like you. You can come by anytime. 126 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,078 I will. 127 00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:34,358 But do me a favor, 128 00:07:34,359 --> 00:07:37,758 before you settle down and get married, you have some fun. 129 00:07:37,759 --> 00:07:40,513 If I had your figure, I'd find some old millionaire in Florida 130 00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:43,367 and slowly suck the life out of him. 131 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,383 I have the very equipment to do that. 132 00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:52,185 I'm sure you do. 133 00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,719 Hi, neighbor. - Hey, how're you doin'? 134 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,051 Harry, Tommy, this is Frank, my friend. 135 00:07:58,617 --> 00:08:01,009 Yeah, hi. - Is this place magnificent? 136 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:05,130 It's the garage mahal. 137 00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:09,912 Well you've gotta have someplace to get away from the clucking. 138 00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:16,125 Ooh, color. 139 00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:17,934 60 channels of it. 140 00:08:17,935 --> 00:08:19,353 Knock yourself out. 141 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:25,670 Dick, look. Debbie says that the new promax router 142 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,954 can handle even the wildest curves. 143 00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:29,251 I don't know if Debbie realizes 144 00:08:29,252 --> 00:08:30,969 that can be taken two ways. 145 00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,935 Frank, this is new. What is it? 146 00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:36,842 A back scratcher. - May I? 147 00:08:36,843 --> 00:08:38,182 Be my guest. 148 00:08:38,707 --> 00:08:41,769 Oh! Oh, this is heavenly. 149 00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,241 That spot has been driving me nuts 150 00:08:43,242 --> 00:08:45,867 ever since we landed. Oh! 151 00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:47,239 Please, keep it. 152 00:08:48,545 --> 00:08:50,001 Really? 153 00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:52,230 I've never received a gift before. 154 00:08:52,587 --> 00:08:54,885 I have to give you something, take Tommy. 155 00:08:56,047 --> 00:08:59,636 Frank! - That's the boss calling. 156 00:08:59,637 --> 00:09:01,816 You know, it's fascinating, every time his wife calls, 157 00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:03,345 he jumps. 158 00:09:03,346 --> 00:09:05,813 See you around. - You can count on it. I like you, Frank. 159 00:09:05,814 --> 00:09:08,216 After all the time I've spent at the university, 160 00:09:08,217 --> 00:09:12,697 it's refreshing to meet someone who doesn't pretend to be smart. 161 00:09:28,138 --> 00:09:30,695 "Jerry dates a blind girl. Repeat." 162 00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:33,176 Jerry dates a blind girl. 163 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,762 You know, it gains nothing the second time. 164 00:09:36,763 --> 00:09:39,946 This has been a rebroadcast of the 11 o'clock news. 165 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,827 We will resume programming at 6:00 a.m. 166 00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:47,851 It's the snow show. 167 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,696 I saw this one last night. 168 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,590 So what do we do now? 169 00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:57,438 Why don't we go visit our friends, the Mullers? 170 00:09:57,439 --> 00:09:59,293 lets. - Great! Will they be home? 171 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,922 It's 3:00 in the morning. Where else would they be? 172 00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:13,074 Hi, neighbor. - Wh-what's the matter? 173 00:10:13,075 --> 00:10:15,199 Nothing. - It's 3:00 in the morning. 174 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,967 Patty said I could drop by anytime. 175 00:10:16,968 --> 00:10:19,193 Don't worry, we brought gifts. 176 00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,387 A flank steak for milady 177 00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:24,170 and "the Tv guide crossword" for monsieur. 178 00:10:24,171 --> 00:10:27,453 And by the way, the answer to "I blank Lucy" 179 00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:28,615 isn't what you think. 180 00:10:28,616 --> 00:10:32,623 Who is this? - That's my daughter Cindy. She's in college. 181 00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:34,699 My compliments. She's a definite triumph 182 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,733 of aerobics over genetics. 183 00:10:38,919 --> 00:10:41,564 I think someone would like to see her naked. 184 00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,211 So, let's fire up the barbecue. 185 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,668 Frank, if you're in danger, shout! 186 00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:52,096 Go back to sleep! - You seem upset, Frank. 187 00:10:52,097 --> 00:10:53,632 Go home. - Why? 188 00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:56,452 Maybe they want to have sex. - Again? 189 00:10:56,453 --> 00:10:58,101 Excuse me? - It's not what you're thinking. 190 00:10:58,102 --> 00:11:01,023 It's just that we're so fascinated by you. 191 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:03,234 We've never met anyone of your economic class before. 192 00:11:03,235 --> 00:11:04,763 My class? 193 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,892 Like you're so much better than we are? 194 00:11:06,893 --> 00:11:09,400 Well, yes, but you'll evolve. 195 00:11:09,848 --> 00:11:11,465 And until then, we can still be friends. 196 00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:14,726 Friends?! You are not my friend. 197 00:11:15,615 --> 00:11:16,931 We're best friends. 198 00:11:16,932 --> 00:11:20,051 No, we're not! Get the hell outta here! 199 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,465 And another thing. 200 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:27,029 Get your precious car off my property! 201 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:29,791 Fine! We can tell when we're not wanted. 202 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,675 We're not wanted. Ohhhh. 203 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:45,838 It seems that some of the... 204 00:11:45,894 --> 00:11:48,687 subtler principles of electron motion 205 00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:51,676 were beyond everyone's grasp. 206 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:53,955 Be thankful it's just a grade. 207 00:11:53,956 --> 00:11:55,361 In most places, this kind of performance 208 00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:56,891 gets you a spanking that still burns 209 00:11:56,892 --> 00:11:59,561 when you're blown out the airlock. 210 00:12:00,172 --> 00:12:03,201 Dr. Solomon, are you at least going to grade us on a curve? 211 00:12:03,202 --> 00:12:05,846 Of course not.. I grade on a transient loop. 212 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,638 What? - It's very simple. 213 00:12:13,069 --> 00:12:15,807 Your expected score is located here, 214 00:12:15,808 --> 00:12:18,197 the parameters of your actual performance are here, here and here, 215 00:12:18,198 --> 00:12:21,631 driving the expectation versus performance data 216 00:12:21,632 --> 00:12:24,873 into the last three loops, two of which can't be seen 217 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:29,801 because, of course, they're factored only in time. 218 00:12:34,565 --> 00:12:36,445 So is my "a" still an "a"? 219 00:12:36,446 --> 00:12:39,162 Oh, Caryn. 220 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:41,283 No. 221 00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:44,530 This shouldn't be all that difficult for you. 222 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,280 The interactions of elementary particles 223 00:12:46,281 --> 00:12:49,491 are far simpler than the interactions between people. 224 00:12:50,151 --> 00:12:51,467 For example.. Leon, 225 00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:54,174 do you have any friends in this class? 226 00:12:54,175 --> 00:12:59,005 Well, sometimes I talk to Caryn. 227 00:12:59,705 --> 00:13:02,155 So Caryn is your friend? - Yes. 228 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,118 I see. Pitman, you and bug are friends, right? 229 00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,319 Yeah, since third grade. 230 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,376 We used to trade underwear on sleepovers. 231 00:13:12,981 --> 00:13:15,521 Shut up. 232 00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:17,590 And this friendship weathers all circumstance, 233 00:13:17,591 --> 00:13:20,910 survives the frictions of daily life completely intact? 234 00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:22,027 Absolutely. - Yeah, totally. 235 00:13:22,028 --> 00:13:23,884 Even though he obviously thinks you're stupid? 236 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:25,334 You think I'm stupid? 237 00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:26,496 Only in a good way. 238 00:13:27,145 --> 00:13:28,968 So there you have it.. friendship, 239 00:13:28,969 --> 00:13:31,340 obviously just a big waste of time. 240 00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:32,786 And yet everyone on the planet 241 00:13:32,787 --> 00:13:35,930 gets all worked up about these pointless little behaviours, 242 00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:38,876 blissfully unaware of the great vaporizing meteor 243 00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:40,901 due in 2015... 244 00:13:42,742 --> 00:13:46,565 which obviously doesn't exist because I'm kidding. 245 00:13:53,037 --> 00:13:54,726 Patty, thanks for letting Harry come along. 246 00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:57,838 He's a little traumatized by all the tension at home. 247 00:13:57,839 --> 00:14:01,555 Wheee eeeeee! 248 00:14:01,556 --> 00:14:03,413 So does Frank know you're with me? 249 00:14:03,414 --> 00:14:05,415 No, I told him I was setting a perm. 250 00:14:05,987 --> 00:14:07,194 Does Dick know you're with me? 251 00:14:07,195 --> 00:14:08,767 No, I injected him with a sedative. 252 00:14:08,768 --> 00:14:10,288 I've got at least two more hours. 253 00:14:11,065 --> 00:14:12,700 Ooh, like "Thelma & Louise," 254 00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:15,531 except we just came to the supermarket and we haven't murdered anyone. 255 00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:17,451 It's early yet. 256 00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:21,717 They're so stubborn. Why do men have to be that way? 257 00:14:21,718 --> 00:14:23,650 I'm still trying to figure out their fascination with 258 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,474 burping the alphabet. 259 00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:29,231 Now, the key to tomatoes is you gotta squeeze 'em. 260 00:14:29,232 --> 00:14:31,109 If they're soft, they're ready. 261 00:14:34,503 --> 00:14:35,633 This one's ready. 262 00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:41,138 I'm the high commander! 263 00:14:43,577 --> 00:14:46,122 When our interests are challenged... - What are you watching now? 264 00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:48,767 It's the president Clinton show. 265 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,054 He looks good on camera, 266 00:14:51,055 --> 00:14:53,427 but his show is incredibly dull. 267 00:14:54,846 --> 00:14:56,862 Dick, are you all right? - I'm fine. 268 00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,550 No, you're not. - Yes, I am. 269 00:14:58,551 --> 00:15:01,234 Okay, but your back is starting to bleed. 270 00:15:03,044 --> 00:15:05,852 I wish I had a remote. Frank had a remote. 271 00:15:05,853 --> 00:15:08,731 If you like Frank so much, why don't you go live at Frank's house? 272 00:15:08,732 --> 00:15:11,410 Sit down. 273 00:15:11,765 --> 00:15:13,039 What is your big problem? 274 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,724 Nothing. I just reached out to Frank, 275 00:15:14,725 --> 00:15:15,849 and he kicked me in the teeth 276 00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,569 because Frank hates me for no good reason. 277 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:21,652 But, hey, that's Frank. - Humans are not perfect. 278 00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:24,524 Well, that's a convenient excuse, isn't it? 279 00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:27,189 You just can't admit when you're wrong. - Oh, please. 280 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:30,294 It's not like I've never bonded with a life-form, lieutenant. 281 00:15:30,295 --> 00:15:32,570 Yes, yes, we know. You've bonded beautifully 282 00:15:32,571 --> 00:15:34,748 with creatures on nine different systems. 283 00:15:34,749 --> 00:15:37,275 And those that wouldn't bond we ate. 284 00:15:38,941 --> 00:15:41,342 It's different here, Dick. To bond with a human, 285 00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:43,559 you have to give and take, like me and patty. 286 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,869 It's not worth the trouble. 287 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,471 I can be perfectly content as a disaffected loner. 288 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:50,675 Was that you? 289 00:15:50,676 --> 00:15:53,493 No... and I always tell you. 290 00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:57,972 Someone's towing away the rambler. 291 00:15:58,474 --> 00:16:00,301 It's Muller! 292 00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:02,778 why is he taking the car? 293 00:16:05,242 --> 00:16:06,971 Because he knows I love it. 294 00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,854 I told you, Solomon.. 295 00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:13,199 eight inches over my property! Ha! 296 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:15,688 Dick, what's wrong? - I don't know. 297 00:16:15,689 --> 00:16:18,051 There's an odd sensation moving through my body. 298 00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:23,034 Whooo.... the hell does that stupid sack of fat 299 00:16:23,035 --> 00:16:24,948 think he is anyway?! 300 00:16:26,172 --> 00:16:28,694 Dick? - I have a plan. 301 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:31,273 Remember, we're not allowed to liquify humans. 302 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,731 Okay, I have another plan. 303 00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:38,588 That's it. I'm invoking a supreme directive. 304 00:16:38,589 --> 00:16:40,518 I'll need witnesses. 305 00:16:41,219 --> 00:16:44,626 What is it? - I want you to remember who you are. 306 00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:47,609 I'm the high commander. - And what is the high commander's oath? 307 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:52,215 As high commander, I vow to handle all problems 308 00:16:52,216 --> 00:16:53,715 with strength and deliberation. 309 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,581 I will strive to understand other life-forms. 310 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,319 I will avoid aggression 311 00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:01,848 and make peace with all those who piss me off. 312 00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:08,620 What are you doing here? 313 00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:11,288 We've come to apologize and make a peace offering. 314 00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:14,720 So the great professor offers the lowly chump a present 315 00:17:14,721 --> 00:17:17,333 and makes it better. - That's what we're hoping. 316 00:17:17,801 --> 00:17:20,189 It's a double-sleeved roller bearing. 317 00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:23,039 Look, you can talk down to me, 318 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,707 you can wake me up at 3:00 in the morning, 319 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:27,099 but you can't buy me off. 320 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,847 It's cambered. - Get out! 321 00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,743 Aren't you listening, chunky? He's apologizing. 322 00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:34,848 Now, now, now.. we are not going to sink down to his level. 323 00:17:34,849 --> 00:17:35,998 My level? 324 00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:39,070 You people always go straight to the snob stuff. 325 00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:42,234 Who are you calling "people"? You want a piece of me, huh? 326 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,134 You want a piece, huh? 327 00:17:44,135 --> 00:17:46,472 Oh! 328 00:17:46,473 --> 00:17:48,975 You want to fight? Come on! Come on! 329 00:17:48,976 --> 00:17:51,768 That's enough. - Get your hands off of me. 330 00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:54,129 Sorry. - I-don't-like it! 331 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,079 Please don't do that. - Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do about it? 332 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,339 Huh? Huh? Huh? Egghead! Brainiac! 333 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,011 Dick, I am so disappointed in you. 334 00:18:05,012 --> 00:18:06,894 I don't know what happened. I just lost control. 335 00:18:06,895 --> 00:18:09,930 Yeah, well, you hurt a human. - We are in so much trouble. What if he talks? 336 00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:13,343 He won't if we finish him off. - This is awful! 337 00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,827 Well, you should feel awful, pal. - But I don't. 338 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,027 I feel better, and powerful. 339 00:18:18,028 --> 00:18:19,889 This is why people have friends.. 340 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,037 so they can hit them. 341 00:18:22,588 --> 00:18:25,637 This is incredible. It's the best I've ever felt! 342 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:30,871 Well, there's the down side. 343 00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:40,822 Hi. - Hi. 344 00:18:40,823 --> 00:18:42,997 I'm so sorry about all this. 345 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,393 but Frank can be such an idiot. 346 00:18:44,984 --> 00:18:46,896 How's your brother? Is he licking his wounds? 347 00:18:46,897 --> 00:18:50,489 He tried, but he couldn't reach 'em, so he made Harry do it. 348 00:18:52,266 --> 00:18:53,312 Hello. 349 00:18:54,039 --> 00:18:56,233 You let sleeping dogs lie, Frank Muller. 350 00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:58,841 This is guy stuff. Don't get your panties in a wad. 351 00:19:01,232 --> 00:19:03,255 That's some good advice, thanks. 352 00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:06,629 So, uh, how're you doin'? 353 00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:09,588 I'm swollen, thank you. - So am I. 354 00:19:10,122 --> 00:19:12,110 Why are you suddenly so civil? 355 00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:13,111 Now we understand each other's boundaries. 356 00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:16,473 You know my limits. I know your limits. 357 00:19:16,474 --> 00:19:18,238 Now we can respect each other. 358 00:19:18,239 --> 00:19:20,933 Wait, let me see if I can get this straight. 359 00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:23,461 In order to achieve each other's respect, 360 00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:26,890 you had to resort to violent confrontation. 361 00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:29,481 Now, doesn't that strike you as stupid? 362 00:19:31,999 --> 00:19:34,284 Kids, huh? - They don't understand the world. 363 00:19:36,185 --> 00:19:38,501 So, uh, we still friends? 364 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:40,467 Sure. 365 00:19:48,823 --> 00:19:50,346 Okay, I finished my letter. 366 00:19:50,892 --> 00:19:53,048 "Dear president Clinton, 367 00:19:53,049 --> 00:19:55,360 I've seen your program on TV, 368 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,623 and I think you need help. 369 00:19:59,659 --> 00:20:01,131 Maybe in the next episode 370 00:20:01,132 --> 00:20:02,918 there could be gunfire 371 00:20:04,059 --> 00:20:07,329 or even some explosions. 372 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,226 I know I'd like that. 373 00:20:09,926 --> 00:20:12,221 Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.. 374 00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:14,431 oh, I forgot to include my name and address. 375 00:20:16,763 --> 00:20:18,570 You know, patty is a woman 376 00:20:18,571 --> 00:20:20,524 of unexpected depth and wisdom. 377 00:20:20,525 --> 00:20:22,584 She does things with contact paper 378 00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,856 most women can only dream of. 379 00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:26,865 I think I finally understand 380 00:20:26,866 --> 00:20:29,079 this compelling urge to make friends. 381 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,785 It isn't intellectual at all. 382 00:20:30,786 --> 00:20:33,977 These bodies have a basic physical need for other people. 383 00:20:33,978 --> 00:20:36,095 Well, in a biology this primitive, 384 00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:38,089 there are bound to be a few weaknesses. 385 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:40,016 But that's the paradox. It's not a weakness. 386 00:20:40,017 --> 00:20:42,680 That need is what brings them together, 387 00:20:42,681 --> 00:20:46,038 and that unity is an enormous source of power. 388 00:20:46,039 --> 00:20:49,012 Yeah, it's powerful, all right, but it's dangerous. 389 00:20:49,013 --> 00:20:52,538 There are some urges we're just going to have to learn to control. 390 00:20:53,174 --> 00:20:55,050 Whoa! Their daughter's home. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net