1 00:00:03,602 --> 00:00:05,017 Look at this "Garfield." 2 00:00:12,767 --> 00:00:15,569 I don't care what language you speak, that cat's funny. 3 00:00:17,077 --> 00:00:17,990 What have you got there, Harry? 4 00:00:17,991 --> 00:00:21,986 Yesterday I was exploring the park, and I found this stone. 5 00:00:21,987 --> 00:00:24,190 Look at it. It's been worn 6 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,560 to a perfect sphere by the elements and dimpled by time. 7 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,904 Harry, that's a golf ball. 8 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,773 You've got way too much free time on your hands. 9 00:00:32,774 --> 00:00:36,370 Well, you know, Dick, I've tried a lot of different things since we got to earth, 10 00:00:36,371 --> 00:00:39,827 and I've made a discovery.. I'm not good at anything. 11 00:00:39,828 --> 00:00:41,588 There's got to be something that you can do. 12 00:00:41,589 --> 00:00:43,870 Here, let me look through the want ads. 13 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,270 What's that smell? - I'm making blueberry muffins. 14 00:00:47,271 --> 00:00:49,353 Smells like they're done. - No, the timer didn't go off. 15 00:00:49,354 --> 00:00:51,935 Yes, but lieutenant.. - I have incinerated entire armies. 16 00:00:51,936 --> 00:00:53,700 I think I can handle an oven. 17 00:00:54,745 --> 00:00:57,128 I'm glad to hear you say that 18 00:00:57,129 --> 00:01:00,230 'cause I signed you up for a bake sale. - What's a bake sale? 19 00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:03,307 It's just an attempt to revive a failing educational system 20 00:01:03,308 --> 00:01:04,554 through parental involvement. 21 00:01:04,555 --> 00:01:07,263 A fine cause. I'm there. 22 00:01:08,253 --> 00:01:10,294 I really think you should check on those muffins. 23 00:01:10,295 --> 00:01:13,198 The box said 15 minutes. You don't argue with the box. 24 00:01:13,929 --> 00:01:15,227 Here's something that you could do. 25 00:01:15,228 --> 00:01:17,342 They want somebody to sweep up the burger palace. 26 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,830 Oh, sure, 27 00:01:18,831 --> 00:01:22,042 after about four years of grad school maybe. 28 00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:23,786 Now they're done. 29 00:01:23,787 --> 00:01:26,710 Ooh! Look at this. 30 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,411 Here's a job I can do. 31 00:01:28,412 --> 00:01:30,946 "Police seek third gunman". 32 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,512 Tomorrow I'm going to march right down to the police station 33 00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:41,562 and tell them I'm the man they're looking for. - Good for you. 34 00:01:41,563 --> 00:01:42,631 They're ready, 35 00:01:42,632 --> 00:01:44,283 but they're just going to be a little burnt. 36 00:02:31,062 --> 00:02:33,654 This is the bake sale committee, right? - Yes. 37 00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:36,822 I don't believe I've seen you before. - I don't believe you're blond. 38 00:02:41,185 --> 00:02:44,309 Okay, everybody, let's take our seats 39 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,330 and get started. 40 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,904 As you know, this is my sixth year 41 00:02:48,905 --> 00:02:51,024 as chairman of the bake sale. 42 00:02:51,025 --> 00:02:52,116 And, um... 43 00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:55,159 I think we've done pretty darn well. 44 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,367 Last year, we raised $500. 45 00:02:59,368 --> 00:03:01,272 How much did you make before that? 46 00:03:01,273 --> 00:03:02,889 Well, I don't want to brag, 47 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:06,791 but we've made roughly $500 each of the last six years. 48 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:08,437 Uh-huh. So what you're saying is, 49 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,345 the group is stagnating under your leadership. 50 00:03:12,925 --> 00:03:14,865 You're new around here. 51 00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:17,109 Let's start the meeting, shall we? 52 00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:19,124 Any thoughts on this year's sale? 53 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:20,242 Yeah, I have a thought. 54 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,825 This group isn't advancing. It's retreating. 55 00:03:22,826 --> 00:03:24,673 You dropped the ball, sister. 56 00:03:25,646 --> 00:03:27,631 I am a master chef. 57 00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:30,689 I trained at the culinary institute of Pittsburgh. 58 00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,675 I think I know a little bit about baking. 59 00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:36,041 Okay, well, here's what I know about baking: zip. 60 00:03:36,042 --> 00:03:37,871 These troops need a leader, 61 00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:41,057 not some chirpy, weak- chinned, underachieving drone. 62 00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:42,042 No offence. 63 00:03:43,585 --> 00:03:46,092 Look, if you aim for 500 bucks, you get 500 bucks. 64 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,508 But there's a saying where I come from... 65 00:03:47,509 --> 00:03:50,592 "when you want to punch someone in the nose, you aim for the back of the head." 66 00:03:51,289 --> 00:03:52,935 That is, if they have a head. 67 00:03:52,936 --> 00:03:56,425 So aim for 10 grand and don't settle for anything less than five. 68 00:03:57,995 --> 00:03:59,375 Um, grace... 69 00:03:59,376 --> 00:04:01,752 I think she should be in charge. 70 00:04:10,090 --> 00:04:12,593 Ah! Good morning, Nina. - Good morning. 71 00:04:12,594 --> 00:04:16,671 Nina, my brother Harry is trying to find something to keep himself busy. 72 00:04:16,672 --> 00:04:18,785 I was just wondering, how did you get this job? 73 00:04:18,786 --> 00:04:20,797 I found a magic lamp on the beach, 74 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:22,518 and this was my first wish. 75 00:04:23,645 --> 00:04:24,506 Wonderful. 76 00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:26,953 How can Harry get hold of a magic lamp? 77 00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,071 Good morning, Dr. Solomon. - Ah, Dr. Albright. 78 00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:35,185 There's something different about you this morning. 79 00:04:35,186 --> 00:04:38,526 I have a new blouse. - No, that's not it. 80 00:04:38,527 --> 00:04:40,471 And I hope you didn't pay too much for it. 81 00:04:42,278 --> 00:04:44,095 That's it! It's the box. What's in it? 82 00:04:44,096 --> 00:04:46,599 Oh, this? Painting supplies. 83 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,352 I'm taking a painting class. I'm not very good at it. 84 00:04:49,353 --> 00:04:50,373 So, you're bad. 85 00:04:51,393 --> 00:04:53,363 I wouldn't say I was bad. 86 00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:56,243 You have to understand I have incredibly high standards 87 00:04:56,244 --> 00:04:58,634 and I tend to be very critical of myself. 88 00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:00,072 But, as an amateur, 89 00:05:00,073 --> 00:05:02,661 I've demonstrated quite a bit of potential. 90 00:05:02,662 --> 00:05:03,690 So, you're bad. 91 00:05:05,737 --> 00:05:06,636 Yeah, 92 00:05:07,622 --> 00:05:09,672 but art is essentially subjective. 93 00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:11,458 There is no good or bad. 94 00:05:11,459 --> 00:05:14,202 So if you stink, you're still allowed to do it? - Well... 95 00:05:14,203 --> 00:05:17,422 that sounds perfect. - Are you interested? 96 00:05:17,423 --> 00:05:19,372 Me? Don't be ridiculous. 97 00:05:19,373 --> 00:05:21,222 I was talking about Harry. - Oh. 98 00:05:21,223 --> 00:05:24,408 Oh, you thought I was worried about being less than perfect? 99 00:05:25,462 --> 00:05:26,887 That's rich. 100 00:05:30,617 --> 00:05:31,723 Here's how it's going to work. 101 00:05:31,821 --> 00:05:35,252 Doors open, crowd come in. First thing they see: finger pastries. 102 00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:36,737 They nosh a little, they're delighted. 103 00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:38,767 They continue on to the layer cakes. 104 00:05:38,768 --> 00:05:40,916 The smell hits 'em, they're drooling like rabid dog 105 00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,921 Then the heavy artillery. 106 00:05:42,922 --> 00:05:45,406 They reach the walnut bread, the almond bars, the cashew squares. 107 00:05:45,407 --> 00:05:47,093 Bang! We got 'em by the roasted nuts. 108 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:51,477 Carry on, lieutenant. - Thank you, sir. 109 00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:55,103 Sally, that was Andy Larson on the phone. 110 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,239 Did you really make his mom do one-Handed push-ups till she cried? 111 00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:03,023 Yes. She had to be broken for the sake of the unit. 112 00:06:03,024 --> 00:06:06,113 You know, this art is fascinating. 113 00:06:06,114 --> 00:06:08,391 Every era, every culture, 114 00:06:08,392 --> 00:06:09,823 they all have their own art. 115 00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:12,401 What drives them to create this? - Naked women. 116 00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:15,599 These are not naked women. 117 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,175 They're nudes. 118 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:20,945 Nudity is the artist's passionate celebration of the human form. 119 00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:22,218 Well, party on. 120 00:06:23,954 --> 00:06:26,188 Dick, why is it that you see nude people in museums, 121 00:06:26,189 --> 00:06:28,326 but they never show 'em on Tv? - Sure, they do, 122 00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:30,658 but never in comedies, only in dramas, 123 00:06:30,659 --> 00:06:32,839 and, even then, only when the ratings sag. 124 00:06:33,889 --> 00:06:35,187 Harry. 125 00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:37,165 Harry, what's wrong? 126 00:06:37,803 --> 00:06:41,058 I got fired from my job at the kids' pizza place. 127 00:06:41,059 --> 00:06:43,275 Oh, no. - Yes. They dressed me up like a giant mouse, 128 00:06:43,276 --> 00:06:45,643 so I figure I'll just get into character, 129 00:06:45,644 --> 00:06:48,085 and then they complain when I eat off the floor. 130 00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,583 Don't you worry about that. I found something else for you to do. 131 00:06:51,584 --> 00:06:53,347 You're coming with me to an art class. 132 00:06:53,348 --> 00:06:55,949 Art? I wasn't creative enough to be a rodent. 133 00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,621 No, no, you don't have to be creative to do art. 134 00:06:58,622 --> 00:07:01,708 You just have to be a certain type. You've been ostracized, 135 00:07:01,709 --> 00:07:04,780 spit upon, and strangers repeatedly tell you that you're crazy. 136 00:07:04,781 --> 00:07:06,171 You've got everything it takes. 137 00:07:07,536 --> 00:07:09,886 "The last supper" by Leonardo Da Vinci. 138 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:12,834 Boy, the guy in the middle really knows how to throw a party, huh? 139 00:07:12,835 --> 00:07:15,836 And he's sitting in front of the archway. 140 00:07:15,837 --> 00:07:19,236 So what? - The negative space in the archway 141 00:07:19,237 --> 00:07:20,771 draws our focus. 142 00:07:20,772 --> 00:07:23,059 And the hills outside the archway 143 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,619 fade into a bluish haze, creating distance. 144 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,199 So it's sort of like it's not just a party, 145 00:07:28,884 --> 00:07:30,851 it's a going-away party. 146 00:07:33,114 --> 00:07:35,273 Harry, I'm impressed. - Mmm, me, too. 147 00:07:35,774 --> 00:07:36,792 Can we buy it? 148 00:07:37,470 --> 00:07:39,907 Don't be silly. After one week, we'd be sick of it. 149 00:07:46,121 --> 00:07:48,371 Oh, Dick, this is wonderful. 150 00:07:48,372 --> 00:07:50,358 Do you have any idea how good it feels 151 00:07:50,359 --> 00:07:54,093 to do something for the first time and not suck at it? 152 00:07:55,202 --> 00:07:58,448 Well, hello. It's nice to see a couple of fresh faces. 153 00:07:58,498 --> 00:08:02,501 Well we're very fresh, Squeeze my head, it's soft. 154 00:08:08,038 --> 00:08:10,408 Oh, Harry, that's really interesting. 155 00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:12,709 I remember that. - Yeah. 156 00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:14,965 That was that thing that burst out of that guy's thorax. 157 00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,677 And we hit it and hit it and hit it... 158 00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:18,988 and it just wouldn't die. 159 00:08:21,843 --> 00:08:24,227 It's... a family joke. Sorry. 160 00:08:25,085 --> 00:08:27,335 All right, class, let's take a look 161 00:08:27,336 --> 00:08:29,350 at what we've been working on for the last two weeks. 162 00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:31,720 Who would like to be first? - Mary. 163 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:38,927 I call this painting "spirits of spring." 164 00:08:38,928 --> 00:08:40,581 When I was growing up in Indiana 165 00:08:41,443 --> 00:08:43,862 and all the other kids would exclude me from their playing, 166 00:08:43,863 --> 00:08:46,466 I'd sit in my yard and anxiously await 167 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,642 the tiny crocuses to pop their happy heads out from their winter sleep. 168 00:08:49,643 --> 00:08:52,320 Oh! That's a beautiful story. 169 00:08:52,321 --> 00:08:54,358 Oh! - It's a lousy painting, 170 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,188 but it is a beautiful story. 171 00:08:57,048 --> 00:08:58,916 It's very nice, Dr. Albright. 172 00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:01,574 Anyone have any comments? - Uh, well, I.. 173 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,522 oh, never mind. It's stupid. 174 00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,703 Well, don't let that stop you, Harry. Go ahead. 175 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,179 Well, um... I just find 176 00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,874 that my focus is drawn to the upper right corner 177 00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:14,038 but when it gets there, there's nothing to see. 178 00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:16,069 Maybe you could add a splash of yellow 179 00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:19,111 to carry out the motif you've already established. 180 00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:23,258 But what do I know? - Actually, that's a very good suggestion. 181 00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:24,384 Really? - Really? 182 00:09:24,385 --> 00:09:28,340 Yes! Harry, you've really opened something up for me. 183 00:09:28,341 --> 00:09:30,188 I know exactly what you're saying. 184 00:09:30,189 --> 00:09:34,240 Thank you. Wow! Thank you! 185 00:09:37,258 --> 00:09:39,295 You work with her. Is this sarcasm? 186 00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,207 Low-mass black holes form 187 00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:49,357 only when matter is compressed into enormous densities 188 00:09:49,358 --> 00:09:51,358 by very large external pressures.. 189 00:09:51,359 --> 00:09:54,645 and this demonstrates which principle of quantum matter physics? 190 00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:02,372 I'll give you a hint. It has nothing to do with geometric cosmology. 191 00:10:02,373 --> 00:10:03,571 Anyone? 192 00:10:04,925 --> 00:10:07,517 If no one answers, I'll have to pick someone. 193 00:10:07,518 --> 00:10:10,108 Someone please answer. Please raise your hand. 194 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,721 Please, someone. Answer, please. 195 00:10:12,722 --> 00:10:14,924 Leon, since you're talking, I'll ask you. 196 00:10:14,925 --> 00:10:17,903 What's the principle? - Wetness? 197 00:10:17,904 --> 00:10:21,548 No. Try again. - Dr. Solomon, why do you keep calling on Leon? 198 00:10:21,549 --> 00:10:23,518 It's just not funny anymore. 199 00:10:25,064 --> 00:10:26,380 That's nonsense. 200 00:10:26,381 --> 00:10:28,768 Leon, the only way of understanding the universe 201 00:10:28,769 --> 00:10:30,972 is to find the limits of your own intelligence. 202 00:10:30,973 --> 00:10:32,652 I think I've reached my limit. 203 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,999 Bug. - Yes, Dr. Solomon? 204 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,785 You're hiding something. - It's just a doodle. 205 00:10:39,786 --> 00:10:40,761 A doodle? 206 00:10:41,592 --> 00:10:43,312 Why, this is a picture of me 207 00:10:43,903 --> 00:10:46,492 with antlers and something coming out of my buttocks. 208 00:10:49,046 --> 00:10:49,981 It's a tail. 209 00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:51,817 Well, it is 210 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:55,525 That's brilliant! The lines, the contours, 211 00:10:55,526 --> 00:10:57,704 the way you've picked up the essence of my rugged good looks. 212 00:10:58,482 --> 00:11:00,741 It's just a doodle. - Just a doodle? 213 00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:04,114 And Alan thicke is just an actor. 214 00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:08,537 Tomorrow I want everyone to bring in three sharpened pencils, 215 00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:10,848 and bug will teach us all how to doodle. 216 00:11:10,849 --> 00:11:12,319 All right. 217 00:11:30,152 --> 00:11:33,335 Damn! 218 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,384 I've tasted your butter cookies, Mrs. Stevenson, 219 00:11:40,385 --> 00:11:42,477 and, yes, I can believe it's not butter. 220 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,535 Use a butter substitute, and you'll find yourself saying, 221 00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:50,005 "I can't believe I was bounced out of this bake sale right onto my ass." 222 00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:51,988 Get with the program. 223 00:11:58,953 --> 00:12:00,306 Tommy, 224 00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:02,940 do you ever doodle? 225 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:12,415 Why? Was I in the bathroom too long? 226 00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:19,228 I.. I can't doodle. 227 00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:22,652 Well, Dick, you're kind of old. 228 00:12:22,653 --> 00:12:25,632 Old? Picasso doodled on tablecloths 229 00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,120 late into his 60s. 230 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,653 That's disgusting. - I know. 231 00:12:29,654 --> 00:12:31,385 I just can't draw. 232 00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:34,879 Oh, doodling! Oh. 233 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,697 It's inexplicable. 234 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:41,376 I, who bestride this world like an intellectual colossus, 235 00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:44,629 I, who make lesser men quiver in awe of my cranial prowess, 236 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,250 I, who.. 237 00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:48,364 I've forgotten my point. 238 00:12:48,772 --> 00:12:51,152 Dick, I invented a new color. 239 00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:53,468 I combined red and yellow. 240 00:12:53,469 --> 00:12:55,216 I call it red-yellow. 241 00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:59,117 I can't wait to show it in art class. - Great! 242 00:12:59,118 --> 00:13:02,328 Mix up a whole vat of it. Go! Hop to it, 243 00:13:02,947 --> 00:13:06,964 you ironically-gifted chowderhead. 244 00:13:07,468 --> 00:13:09,648 Why did I say that? What's wrong with me? - Could it be.. 245 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:13,018 and this is just a wild guess.. that Harry is way better at something than you? 246 00:13:13,019 --> 00:13:14,956 Give me some credit. I'm the high commander. 247 00:13:14,957 --> 00:13:16,890 I don't engage in petty rivalry. 248 00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:20,355 Look, Dick, you're actually younger than me, right? 249 00:13:20,356 --> 00:13:23,165 Right. - But on this mission you got to be taller. 250 00:13:23,166 --> 00:13:25,845 Now, don't you think that eats my lunch just a little bit? 251 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:30,147 You don't see me whining. - How can you be so cool about it? 252 00:13:30,148 --> 00:13:32,747 'Cause I'm older than you, little buddy. 253 00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:38,444 Tommy, I got a reconnaissance report from Mrs. Nadle. 254 00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:40,790 Our only real competition is the kissing booth. 255 00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,821 This year they have hookers. 256 00:13:44,136 --> 00:13:47,304 Sally, those are cheerleaders. - Not if they're charging. 257 00:13:50,188 --> 00:13:51,792 Banana nut muffin heads. 258 00:13:51,793 --> 00:13:54,680 Are there two parts banana to every one part walnut? - Yes, ma'am. 259 00:13:54,681 --> 00:13:56,441 I can't hear you. - Yes, ma'am! 260 00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:03,827 Mmm, mighty tasty rugula, Mrs. Greenstein. 261 00:14:03,828 --> 00:14:04,789 Thank you, ma'am. 262 00:14:08,085 --> 00:14:11,011 Now, before we open the doors, I just have one more thing to say. 263 00:14:11,609 --> 00:14:13,681 You are, by far, the saddest, sorriest, 264 00:14:13,682 --> 00:14:15,606 most pathetic group of mothers... 265 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,341 I have ever had the honor of commanding, 266 00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,133 and I'll never forget you. 267 00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:23,218 Music. 268 00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:25,374 Doors. 269 00:14:26,540 --> 00:14:29,002 All right, ladies, take no prisoners 270 00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:31,329 or personal checks. 271 00:14:37,814 --> 00:14:40,122 Dick, are you mad at me? 272 00:14:42,363 --> 00:14:45,723 No. - Lately you get this weird grin, 273 00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:49,067 like you're hiding something. It's not about art class, is it? 274 00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,377 Art class? Why, no, I don't care about art. 275 00:14:51,378 --> 00:14:54,659 Let's not forget what one of the great thinkers of the 20th century said.. 276 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,471 "art is no damn good." 277 00:14:57,604 --> 00:15:00,832 What great thinker said that? - Jesse helms. 278 00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,517 Besides, I've made a command decision. 279 00:15:03,518 --> 00:15:06,218 We're not going to art class anymore. It's not productive. 280 00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:08,065 We've experienced it. Let's move on. 281 00:15:09,731 --> 00:15:11,582 All Righty. 282 00:15:16,986 --> 00:15:18,849 Permission to speak, high commander? 283 00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:23,657 What did you say? - Permission to speak, Dick? 284 00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:26,092 You've never asked permission to speak before. 285 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:29,252 I've never had anything worth saying..but.. 286 00:15:29,253 --> 00:15:31,878 Dick, this art thing means a lot to me, 287 00:15:31,879 --> 00:15:34,091 and I have no idea why. 288 00:15:34,092 --> 00:15:36,187 All I know is that I like doing it. 289 00:15:36,755 --> 00:15:40,146 So I want to go tomorrow whether you go or not. 290 00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:43,085 I'm sorry. 291 00:15:45,617 --> 00:15:48,289 There's no need to be sorry for something you're good at Harry. 292 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,753 You go to class. - Really? 293 00:15:50,754 --> 00:15:52,755 Ye-es. 294 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:57,659 If that's what makes you happy, then I'm happy. 295 00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:01,568 Ohh, thanks, Dick. 296 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:04,290 Mmm, now there's the smile I like. 297 00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:16,623 You're soaking wet. 298 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,321 Am I? 299 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,737 You've been acting strangely. What's wrong? 300 00:16:21,738 --> 00:16:22,977 It's kind of hard to talk about. 301 00:16:22,978 --> 00:16:25,354 I have this... friend 302 00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:28,863 whose brother Harry is a much better artist than he is. 303 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:31,059 Oh, so this is about you and Harry. 304 00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,340 Am I that transparent? 305 00:16:33,416 --> 00:16:35,618 I'm going to tell you a little story. 306 00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:40,655 My partner in dance class in college 307 00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:41,978 was a girl named Nadia. 308 00:16:41,979 --> 00:16:44,210 She got all the leads, all the attention. 309 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,126 People would call her lithe, 310 00:16:47,127 --> 00:16:49,904 willowy, leggy. 311 00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:53,068 I rehearsed with her. 312 00:16:53,069 --> 00:16:55,201 I showed her a tremendous amount of support. 313 00:16:55,202 --> 00:16:56,501 I went to all the recitals. 314 00:16:56,903 --> 00:16:59,069 She'd leap and twirl on the stage, 315 00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:01,393 exuding this incredible sensual grace, 316 00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:05,281 while I sat there, a frozen smile on my face, 317 00:17:05,282 --> 00:17:07,836 loathing her for my own inadequacies. 318 00:17:07,837 --> 00:17:09,564 Well, you have any pictures of her? 319 00:17:10,866 --> 00:17:12,953 That's not the point. 320 00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:14,679 The thing I came to realize 321 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,085 was that she needed me there. 322 00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:20,128 My support inspired her to dance. 323 00:17:20,129 --> 00:17:23,608 That was enough for you? - Well, look at the "Mona Lisa." 324 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,280 She never picked up a paintbrush, 325 00:17:25,281 --> 00:17:28,526 and yet she inspired the most famous painting in the world. 326 00:17:28,527 --> 00:17:31,749 So it's like whistler and his mother. - Exactly. 327 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,792 Van Gogh and his potato eaters. - Yes. 328 00:17:33,793 --> 00:17:35,526 Michelangelo and his, uh... 329 00:17:35,527 --> 00:17:37,752 ceiling full of naked guys trying to touch fingers. 330 00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:40,451 More or less. - Inspiration. 331 00:17:40,452 --> 00:17:41,897 Yes. - Yes! 332 00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:45,132 Thank you! Thank you! 333 00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:48,501 That little story really helped me. Thank you! 334 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:49,995 Sure. 335 00:17:49,996 --> 00:17:54,891 Oh, and by the way, I love your stubby little legs. 336 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,031 Harry, were your parents artistic? 337 00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:07,385 Not really. My mother was a cold receptacle, 338 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,915 and my father was just a machine. 339 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,237 Well, we all have our baggage. 340 00:18:14,318 --> 00:18:16,575 But don't forget, out of suffering 341 00:18:16,576 --> 00:18:17,743 comes creativity. 342 00:18:17,744 --> 00:18:20,451 You can't spell "painting" without "pain. 343 00:18:20,452 --> 00:18:23,412 Mmm...or "ting. 344 00:18:27,426 --> 00:18:30,174 Oh, Dick, you came. 345 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,810 Are you going to paint? - Even better. 346 00:18:32,423 --> 00:18:35,568 I now accept the fact that I do not have artistic talent, 347 00:18:35,569 --> 00:18:37,739 like you, like Harry. 348 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,565 I know now that I will never be able 349 00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:42,096 to be a part of a class like this, 350 00:18:42,097 --> 00:18:44,593 but Dr. Albright has made me see 351 00:18:44,594 --> 00:18:47,884 the joy that I can take in inspiring other people. 352 00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:50,104 No, I will never be an artist, 353 00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:52,653 but I can make a great subject. 354 00:18:52,654 --> 00:18:54,692 Prepare to meet... 355 00:18:54,693 --> 00:18:57,746 your muse! 356 00:19:16,809 --> 00:19:18,250 Oh, great... 357 00:19:18,251 --> 00:19:20,773 I'm gonna need more pink. 358 00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:25,521 You're telling me 359 00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:28,423 Dr. Solomon posed for this? 360 00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:32,146 Yes. - Mm-hmm. 361 00:19:32,147 --> 00:19:34,938 Mmm, well, hello, Dr. Solomon. 362 00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:37,147 Well, hello, Nina! 363 00:19:37,148 --> 00:19:42,506 Well, I'll leave you three alone. 364 00:19:44,741 --> 00:19:47,239 Oh! This is wonderful. 365 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,360 I really did inspire you, didn't I? 366 00:19:49,361 --> 00:19:52,385 Yes. - You know, the whole time I was standing there, 367 00:19:52,386 --> 00:19:55,251 I kept thinking about how you inspired Nadia. 368 00:19:55,252 --> 00:19:58,899 Whatever happened to her? - Alcoholic, 369 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,978 trailer park, seven kids. 370 00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,922 No, it really is a shame. 371 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:08,253 What do you call it? 372 00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:12,408 "Middle-aged naked guy who can't paint." 373 00:20:16,225 --> 00:20:18,494 Leading that bake sale was exhilarating. 374 00:20:18,495 --> 00:20:20,719 Those women were crying out for leadership. 375 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,818 You know, over half this planet's population is female. 376 00:20:24,582 --> 00:20:26,659 If I could just harness their power, 377 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,570 we could easily turn men into a slave race. 378 00:20:34,647 --> 00:20:37,132 Or maybe just talk hair. 379 00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:40,511 You know, I've discovered 380 00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:42,465 that here on earth every human has 381 00:20:42,466 --> 00:20:44,731 his own talents and his own flaws. 382 00:20:44,732 --> 00:20:46,894 The smart ones have learned to use their talents, 383 00:20:46,895 --> 00:20:48,004 but the happy ones 384 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:50,952 have learned to accept their flaws. 385 00:20:51,276 --> 00:20:53,220 I know I've accepted mine. 386 00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:55,492 Permission to mention your receding hairline, sir? 387 00:20:56,795 --> 00:20:58,825 Permission denied. 388 00:20:58,826 --> 00:21:02,711 Well, here's my latest painting. It's a still life. 389 00:21:02,712 --> 00:21:05,090 That's very interesting. - And very dark. 390 00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:06,436 It's a bunch of rotten fruit. 391 00:21:06,437 --> 00:21:10,898 Yeah, I really got to learn to paint faster. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net