1 00:00:15,597 --> 00:00:18,826 You notice how this James Brown is always getting somewhere? 2 00:00:18,827 --> 00:00:21,455 He's getting up, getting down, getting back. 3 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:25,216 We should contact him.. I mean, as part of our mission to study life on this planet. 4 00:00:25,217 --> 00:00:27,120 Yes, but according to this, he's more of a machine, 5 00:00:27,647 --> 00:00:28,741 a sex machine. 6 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,701 Oh, look! It's the campus police. 7 00:00:33,437 --> 00:00:36,545 Is there some kind of problem? - Ooh, actually, yes. 8 00:00:36,546 --> 00:00:38,497 There's a star missing right there. 9 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,745 And we think we know who did it. 10 00:00:42,526 --> 00:00:45,012 This is your family? - Why, yes. 11 00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:46,682 That's exactly what we were going for. 12 00:00:46,983 --> 00:00:50,098 Sally's the woman. I'm the tall, dashing man. Tommy is the adolescent. 13 00:00:50,099 --> 00:00:52,642 And Harry is... the funny looking one. 14 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:54,834 I'm gonna have to see your driver's license, please. 15 00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:57,369 Why? We're not driving. We're parked. 16 00:00:57,914 --> 00:00:59,940 Yeah, but you're parked on university property. 17 00:00:59,941 --> 00:01:02,410 Oh, I am university property. 18 00:01:02,411 --> 00:01:04,014 Here's my photo I.D. 19 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,148 It's just my head, but I assure you 20 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,054 the rest of me is anatomically correct. 21 00:01:09,557 --> 00:01:11,433 Well, Dr. Solomon, it's 2:00 A.M. 22 00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:13,744 So, let's pack this up and move it out. - Right away. 23 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,979 Dick, what's a driver's licence? 24 00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:18,235 It must be some kind of human validation. 25 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,077 We should get one if we're going to blend in. - I'm on it. 26 00:01:23,748 --> 00:01:25,869 Listen. It's that guy again. 27 00:01:27,606 --> 00:01:30,306 God, it's amazing. How does he sing like that? 28 00:01:31,046 --> 00:01:35,013 Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? 29 00:01:35,214 --> 00:01:37,091 I've changed my mind. 30 00:01:43,289 --> 00:01:45,204 As many intelligent people know.. 31 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,933 .. aliens are all around us. 32 00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:49,963 This is the story of four such explorers. 33 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,168 Where are you? 34 00:02:40,113 --> 00:02:42,558 Very well, I can wait. 35 00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,962 You're not watching me. I'm not watching you. 36 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:47,827 You're somewhere in the room, I can feel it. 37 00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:50,439 Good morning, Dr. Solomon. - Yah! 38 00:02:53,947 --> 00:02:55,957 What is it, Nina? - Here's the mail. 39 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,750 Oh, it's a letter for Dr. Albright. 40 00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,970 She'll hold this in her delicate hand, 41 00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:03,835 insert a finger and rip through the mucilage. 42 00:03:04,754 --> 00:03:05,887 She's just wonderful. 43 00:03:05,888 --> 00:03:07,593 I knew you had a thing for her. 44 00:03:07,594 --> 00:03:10,701 Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her 45 00:03:10,702 --> 00:03:11,871 without her permission. 46 00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:15,756 Good morning, Dr. Albright. 47 00:03:15,757 --> 00:03:17,690 Good morning, Dr. Albright. - Good morning. 48 00:03:17,691 --> 00:03:20,173 Dr. Solomon, I was just thinking of you. - You were? 49 00:03:20,174 --> 00:03:22,925 Yes. I have a meeting with the rules committee on Friday night, 50 00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:25,238 and I just can't make it. 51 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,019 It's too late to try and get out of it now, 52 00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:29,245 unless you can talk some idiot into replac.. 53 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:31,445 oh. 54 00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:36,915 You look wonderful. Is that a new jacket? - I'm entirely new. 55 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,680 Everyone on the rules committee wants to meet you. - Really? 56 00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:43,008 Oh we all think of you as the resident genius. 57 00:03:43,009 --> 00:03:45,653 oh please, I need you to substitute for me. 58 00:03:45,654 --> 00:03:47,591 You need me? I never dreamed 59 00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:49,131 that I would be the man you needed. 60 00:03:50,116 --> 00:03:51,945 I need you desperately. 61 00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:55,296 Let me know if it's going to get any deeper. 62 00:03:55,297 --> 00:03:56,925 I'm wearing open-Toed shoes. 63 00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:01,505 I'm not prepared. - It's a dull, mindless group. 64 00:04:01,706 --> 00:04:03,883 It's "the night of the teaching dead." 65 00:04:03,884 --> 00:04:05,945 Maybe I can shake things up with some fresh ideas. 66 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,375 No one there would recognize a fresh idea if it bit them on the ass. 67 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:12,257 Just pass these out for me, please. 68 00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:14,662 All right, I'll do it. 69 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:16,112 Oh, thanks. You've saved me. 70 00:04:16,113 --> 00:04:18,841 Well, I am a manly man. 71 00:04:21,787 --> 00:04:23,915 Well done. - Another five minutes, 72 00:04:23,916 --> 00:04:25,361 and he would have given me a kidney. 73 00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:32,755 Next! 74 00:04:35,757 --> 00:04:38,000 I can't believe how much we have to go through to get a licence. 75 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:39,725 Yeah. Then why are we here? 76 00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:41,750 Because I want one. If I have to be the woman, 77 00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:44,141 I'm not about to be stuck at home. - Mm-hmm. 78 00:04:45,601 --> 00:04:47,810 "Stay behind orange line". 79 00:04:47,811 --> 00:04:50,140 That's why nobody ever gets to the window. 80 00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:53,071 Hey, let's pull up the slack here. 81 00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:55,985 Oh! There must be some sort of 82 00:04:55,986 --> 00:04:59,547 flesh-melting force field at the orange line. 83 00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:02,559 Next! - No-Ooo! 84 00:05:05,969 --> 00:05:07,092 I'm sorry. 85 00:05:08,506 --> 00:05:11,381 You know, cars must have some huge power we haven't discovered yet. 86 00:05:11,382 --> 00:05:13,686 Look at this.. the lines, the waiting, the testing. 87 00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,298 Can you imagine what you must have to go through to get a gun? 88 00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:22,149 Next! 89 00:05:24,134 --> 00:05:26,695 What is it they don't get? That woman says "next". 90 00:05:26,696 --> 00:05:28,315 The first person goes to the window. 91 00:05:28,316 --> 00:05:30,938 The second person moves to the orange line, becoming first. 92 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,764 The third person becomes second, and the rest of us pull up the slack! 93 00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:37,547 There are just too many gaps in this line. 94 00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:39,857 We should each only be a single person-thickness apart. 95 00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:40,756 Good point. 96 00:05:42,397 --> 00:05:43,832 I think everyone should hear it. 97 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,280 You think so? 98 00:05:45,794 --> 00:05:48,493 Okay, people, listen up and nobody gets hurt! 99 00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:59,846 Tommy, have you been sitting in that same chair all day? 100 00:06:00,418 --> 00:06:03,206 Hmm, let me think about this one...Yeah! 101 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,214 You're supposed to be experiencing human adolescent behavior. 102 00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:10,223 Well, as an adolescent, everything annoys me, 103 00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:12,940 especially the sound of your voice right now. 104 00:06:14,227 --> 00:06:15,324 Nothing. - yes you did. 105 00:06:15,325 --> 00:06:16,729 I did not. - Don't try to blame it on me. 106 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:18,736 Did you get your license? - We were thrown out. 107 00:06:18,737 --> 00:06:21,025 On the bright side, we did outrun the police. 108 00:06:22,220 --> 00:06:23,127 What went wrong? 109 00:06:23,128 --> 00:06:26,493 Everything. What do people have to do on this planet to get what they want? 110 00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:29,553 Today Dr. Albright wanted something from me. All she did was ask. 111 00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:31,908 What did she say? - She said she needed my help 112 00:06:31,909 --> 00:06:34,375 and I looked wonderful and I'm a genius. 113 00:06:34,705 --> 00:06:37,103 She said that? - About you? 114 00:06:37,804 --> 00:06:39,412 Yes. - And you bought it? 115 00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:40,762 Well, I am the high commander. 116 00:06:41,388 --> 00:06:43,760 Wait a minute, something about this doesn't wash. 117 00:06:44,461 --> 00:06:45,992 She's doing something. 118 00:06:45,993 --> 00:06:48,193 Now I remember, I read about this. 119 00:06:48,647 --> 00:06:51,135 She's distorting the truth. 120 00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,496 Dr. Albright would never lie to me. 121 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,627 Ohh wake up and snort the coffee. 122 00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:01,045 Just because you don't lie doesn't mean people here don't. 123 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,621 We're colleagues. I trust her. 124 00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:05,147 I command you to be more like her. 125 00:07:05,148 --> 00:07:06,575 Like what? - Like a woman. 126 00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:10,116 Fine. I can woman. - Good. 127 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:12,412 Commander, permission to speak freely? - Granted. 128 00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:15,102 As the oldest member of this crew, I feel it's my duty 129 00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,969 to inform you all that this planet both 130 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:21,005 wipes and sucks... in that order. 131 00:07:21,613 --> 00:07:23,332 What is your problem? 132 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,774 Something's wrong. My transfer's not holding. 133 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,541 I'm growing hair, and my armpits smell, 134 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:30,767 and there's a constant circus in my pants. 135 00:07:31,596 --> 00:07:35,064 Aw, our old man is becoming a boy. 136 00:07:35,065 --> 00:07:37,331 No, no I'm serious. The seal's broken, 137 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,909 and I'm losing oil. Look at this. 138 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:41,485 ooh! What is it? 139 00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:42,348 It's a nipple. 140 00:07:43,969 --> 00:07:45,820 What am I going to do about it? - I don't know, 141 00:07:45,821 --> 00:07:48,944 but until we figure it out, maybe you should sleep in the shower. 142 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,573 Gentlemen, we have a guest member of the rules 143 00:07:58,574 --> 00:08:00,199 committee with us tonight. 144 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,042 Dr. Solomon, would you care to share with us 145 00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:05,203 some of Dr. Albright's feelings? - Oh, yes, of course. 146 00:08:05,204 --> 00:08:08,349 Well, first, on behalf of Dr. Albright, 147 00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:11,099 I would like to say welcome to this big waste of time. 148 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:15,228 I'd say I've always wanted to put a face with those men 149 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,686 whom she affectionately calls 150 00:08:16,687 --> 00:08:18,478 "the night of the teaching dead". 151 00:08:18,479 --> 00:08:21,344 And may I say you do not disappoint. 152 00:08:21,345 --> 00:08:24,315 I can tell at a glance that you indeed are a mindless and dull group. 153 00:08:24,316 --> 00:08:26,931 So, I would like to start with a fresh idea 154 00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:29,339 that you won't recognise when it bites you on the ass. 155 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,289 Excuse me, does Dr. Albright know you're speaking on her behalf? 156 00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:35,050 Don't move! Stay where you are! 157 00:08:37,371 --> 00:08:40,030 Dr. Solomon.. - Freeze! He's still there! 158 00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:45,176 Oh! You have a mole. 159 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,227 A big, ugly mole. 160 00:08:51,094 --> 00:08:52,914 Well, you're in early. 161 00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:56,099 Dr. Byron told me about your little speech. 162 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,171 Sorry I missed it. 163 00:08:57,172 --> 00:08:59,011 Rest assured, I gave you full credit. 164 00:09:01,702 --> 00:09:05,139 What the hell are you trying to do? Ruin me? 165 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:11,479 It will take me weeks to repair the damage left in your wake. 166 00:09:13,474 --> 00:09:14,273 Weeks. 167 00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:17,331 All you had to do was show up and feign interest. 168 00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:19,468 Feign? I will not be a party to feigning. 169 00:09:19,469 --> 00:09:20,975 I always tell the complete truth. 170 00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:24,264 The truth? Then I will be brutally Frank. 171 00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:25,685 Good, I'll be genuine Dick. 172 00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:31,739 I thought, foolishly, 173 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:34,818 this would be a good opportunity for my colleagues to get to know you. 174 00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:38,278 No one wanted to meet you. I made that up. 175 00:09:38,817 --> 00:09:40,194 So you lied? 176 00:09:40,195 --> 00:09:43,922 I was bending the truth to flatter you. There's a difference. 177 00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:47,286 Oh I see. So when we met, you said you were pleased to meet me. 178 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,304 Was that a lie or "truth-bending"? - "Figure of speech". 179 00:09:50,305 --> 00:09:53,663 And when you said you were impressed with my résumé? - "Light conversation". 180 00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:55,965 When I moved in, you said you didn't mind sharing your office? 181 00:09:55,966 --> 00:09:57,922 "Diplomacy". Anything else? 182 00:09:57,923 --> 00:10:01,052 Yes, is that really the color of your hair? - Absolutely! 183 00:10:04,165 --> 00:10:05,446 You're upset, aren't you? 184 00:10:06,841 --> 00:10:08,763 Tell the truth. - Yes. 185 00:10:08,964 --> 00:10:10,939 I thought I could trust you. I can't. 186 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:13,682 Trust me? You're the one who lied and tricked me. 187 00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:16,921 No. It's not how you lie to trick someone. 188 00:10:16,922 --> 00:10:19,644 First, you start by.. you have something on your tie. 189 00:10:22,569 --> 00:10:24,739 Ah-ha, very clever. 190 00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:28,911 Yes, I see how that works. You have something on your shoulder. 191 00:10:34,978 --> 00:10:38,693 That's not how it works. This is how it works. 192 00:10:38,694 --> 00:10:41,129 Your shirt tail's on fire. That's how. 193 00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:42,405 Your blouse is on fire. 194 00:10:42,406 --> 00:10:43,979 Stop.. get your hands off me! 195 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,092 Don't move! 196 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:47,300 Whyyy! 197 00:10:56,641 --> 00:10:57,990 That was my fly. 198 00:10:58,822 --> 00:10:59,989 I know. 199 00:11:06,935 --> 00:11:08,702 On the subject of universal truth, 200 00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:11,127 Albert Einstein once said.. 201 00:11:16,882 --> 00:11:18,021 any thoughts on that? 202 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,449 Anyone? Yes, Caryn. 203 00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:25,550 Dr. Solomon, I think you were speaking German. 204 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,695 Er yes, German. Einstein spoke German. 205 00:11:30,617 --> 00:11:32,794 Okay, I'll simplify. 206 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:37,504 "Scientific proof is nothing more than conditional truth". 207 00:11:37,505 --> 00:11:40,337 We all understand what truth is, don't we? 208 00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:44,135 Now, I have three of Einstein's equations on the board. 209 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:45,692 Two of them are false, and one is true. 210 00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:47,346 Who can spot the true one? Anyone? 211 00:11:49,532 --> 00:11:50,836 How many of you think it's number one? 212 00:11:52,124 --> 00:11:53,700 I'll give you a hint: it's not number one. 213 00:11:55,286 --> 00:11:57,023 Here's another hint: it's not number two. 214 00:11:57,024 --> 00:11:58,451 How many of you think it's number three? 215 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,363 Well, you're wrong. I lied. I made them all up! 216 00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:05,353 You see, lying accomplishes nothing. 217 00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:07,167 You can't trust someone who lies. 218 00:12:07,168 --> 00:12:09,833 You work with them. You think you know them. They ask you to substitute. 219 00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,362 You make a fool of yourself. They get mad. 220 00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:14,537 And your sister can't even get a driver's licence. 221 00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:18,138 Dr. Solomon, is this going to be on the final? 222 00:12:20,163 --> 00:12:21,153 The point I'm making is, 223 00:12:21,154 --> 00:12:23,538 you have to tell the absolute truth, 224 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:25,848 or else you just end up confusing people. 225 00:12:25,849 --> 00:12:29,091 But, Dr. Solomon, sometimes you just can't tell the truth. 226 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,406 But why not? Anyone? 227 00:12:31,607 --> 00:12:33,902 Leon, I'm going to ask you a question, 228 00:12:33,903 --> 00:12:36,096 and I want you to tell me the complete truth. 229 00:12:36,097 --> 00:12:37,667 This won't affect my grade? 230 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,580 Absolutely not. What do you think of me? 231 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:45,379 Uh... you make me really nervous. 232 00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:48,343 I don't know what's going on half the time, 233 00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:50,069 and when you walk around the room, I'm always afraid 234 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,559 you're going to hit me in the back of the head. 235 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:59,963 Thank you. There, you see...the truth. 236 00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,948 By the way, Leon, you're failing. 237 00:13:04,153 --> 00:13:07,060 I thought you said it wouldn't affect my grade. It didn't. 238 00:13:13,017 --> 00:13:15,708 Anybody home? Anyb-- Oh, hi. 239 00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:17,668 I brought you folks your extra key. 240 00:13:18,342 --> 00:13:19,820 Yeah, right. Good excuse. 241 00:13:19,821 --> 00:13:22,357 You just wanted to come up here and stare at pimple boy. 242 00:13:23,158 --> 00:13:27,299 You poor kid. I remember how it feels to be your age. 243 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,569 Yeah, I remember how it feels to be your age. 244 00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:35,148 Listen, I'm going to go out and get some smokes. You want to take a ride? 245 00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,445 Yeah, whatever. 246 00:13:37,305 --> 00:13:40,175 It's really not fair. I can grow a pimple but not a mustache. 247 00:13:40,839 --> 00:13:41,856 What's your secret? 248 00:13:49,649 --> 00:13:51,499 Solomon, Sally. - Here. 249 00:13:53,353 --> 00:13:55,528 You failed the written exam. Come back in three weeks. 250 00:13:55,529 --> 00:13:58,153 I can't come back. I can't. 251 00:13:58,154 --> 00:14:00,574 Sorry, those are the rules. - I need a licence now. 252 00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:01,910 I'm the woman. 253 00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:10,396 I really need your help. 254 00:14:12,386 --> 00:14:14,326 You must be a genius. 255 00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:21,991 Your line is so big, but it moves so fast. 256 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,068 Well, I do my best. 257 00:14:25,754 --> 00:14:27,852 There's got to be some way you can help me. 258 00:14:27,853 --> 00:14:30,424 I mean, I know you have a heart in that.. 259 00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:33,659 big,hairy, wonderful chest of yours. 260 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:36,662 I bet pretty girls beg you all the time, huh? 261 00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:39,125 Okay, you can take the test again. 262 00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,318 Thank you. 263 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,978 I could get very good at this. 264 00:14:50,814 --> 00:14:53,227 Hey, what did you put under "weight"? 265 00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:02,834 Tommy, are you all right? Where have you been? 266 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,939 The mall, Dick. I was at the mall. 267 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,606 It may be the most emotionally satisfying place 268 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,868 I've ever been. 269 00:15:09,998 --> 00:15:11,642 Were you able to observe other life-forms? 270 00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:13,278 Definitely. Everybody there 271 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,543 was as oily and disgusting as me. 272 00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:18,257 It was a food court of mutants, 273 00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:21,156 a catalog of horrors, a freak show, 274 00:15:21,157 --> 00:15:23,516 and I was their lizard king. 275 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,172 Oh. What do you do when you're there? 276 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:30,654 Hang. - What do you see? 277 00:15:31,216 --> 00:15:32,241 Stuff. 278 00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:34,347 I belong now. 279 00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:37,328 Oh, yeah, stay out of my room! 280 00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:43,706 Dick? Dick, look, 281 00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:45,292 I got my driver's licence. 282 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:49,427 According to this, you're a 55-year-old, 300-pound Asian woman. 283 00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:53,140 And an organ donor. 284 00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:57,732 Dick, I got my driver's permit, too. 285 00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:59,740 Yes, I expected you would. 286 00:16:01,156 --> 00:16:04,551 I just want to say that I not only accomplished my goal, 287 00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:06,464 but... I've discovered 288 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,917 a softer place within myself, 289 00:16:08,866 --> 00:16:12,381 and it is all because of you and your extraordinary ability to command. 290 00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:15,417 Thank you, lieutenant. - You have so many facets to admire, 291 00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:17,517 time prohibits my naming them all. 292 00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:20,283 Shall I speak of your courage, 293 00:16:21,459 --> 00:16:25,276 how you've led a ragtag crew of misfits across the galaxies, 294 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,095 fueled by your brave spirit? 295 00:16:29,399 --> 00:16:32,709 Or shall I confess that your boyish good looks 296 00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:35,245 are stunted only by your personal bigness? 297 00:16:37,652 --> 00:16:41,371 Oh, where to begin simply exhausts my feminine mind. 298 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,823 What are you doing? - Lying. 299 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:49,666 You like it? - It's incredible. 300 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,360 I love it! - Really? 301 00:16:51,361 --> 00:16:53,563 Yes! How did you do it? - Anybody can do it. 302 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:57,910 Look at me, I've just done it once, and here I am, whipping it out there. 303 00:16:57,911 --> 00:16:59,957 I thought the truth was potent, 304 00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,817 but it's nothing compared to this. 305 00:17:02,351 --> 00:17:05,491 This makes me feel powerless and susceptible, 306 00:17:06,679 --> 00:17:09,105 and ready to yield to your every.. 307 00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,225 I've got to find Dr. Albright. 308 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,157 This is Wednesday. She calls it "over the hump day". 309 00:17:16,158 --> 00:17:18,068 I don't know what that means , but I know where she humps. 310 00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:21,345 Tommy, we're going out. 311 00:17:21,346 --> 00:17:22,483 I'll drive. - No, I'll drive. 312 00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:22,939 Dick... 313 00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:23,908 Harry called it. 314 00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:26,486 Shotgun. - I don't want to ride in the back. 315 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,836 Dr. Albright, hello. 316 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,766 Hello. Sorry we don't have a chair for you. 317 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:35,708 Not a problem. 318 00:17:37,617 --> 00:17:39,838 You know Dr. Byron. - Yes, of course. 319 00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:43,274 You really should have that thing removed. It's all I can look at. 320 00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,464 Excuse me. - I-- 321 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,072 looks like there's just the two of us. 322 00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:50,201 I'll have a pitcher of that stuff. 323 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,528 May I see your driver's license? - You bet you can. 324 00:17:53,396 --> 00:17:56,762 Okay, Mrs. Wu. 325 00:17:58,549 --> 00:18:01,485 I discovered something today, and I really need to try it out. 326 00:18:01,486 --> 00:18:03,418 Thorazine. I'll get you some water. 327 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,756 You see, you know these things. 328 00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:11,428 You're so smart, and your... 329 00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:14,366 your looks.. your looks are like... 330 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:16,075 a beer tap, 331 00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:19,795 a golden rush of drunken beauty with a nice head 332 00:18:19,796 --> 00:18:23,032 which spills all down your blouse, 333 00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,905 leaving you sweet and pungent. 334 00:18:28,522 --> 00:18:30,132 That was pathetic. 335 00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:33,376 Well, I'm sorry I'm not as good a liar as you are. 336 00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:35,176 Well, I'm sorry. I'm leaving. 337 00:18:35,177 --> 00:18:38,277 Wait! You're not finished with me yet! 338 00:18:38,278 --> 00:18:39,919 Do you mind? We're talking. 339 00:18:42,798 --> 00:18:44,842 Okay, you win. 340 00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:46,780 What is it? - I've realized something. 341 00:18:46,781 --> 00:18:49,599 I can't lie to you. I wish I could. 342 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,914 It's just not something that I'm good at, like.. like... 343 00:18:52,513 --> 00:18:54,246 actually, I'm good at everything. 344 00:18:54,247 --> 00:18:57,339 Can I tell you the truth? - Why not? 345 00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:58,688 The real truth is, 346 00:18:59,342 --> 00:19:00,700 you're delightful. 347 00:19:01,195 --> 00:19:03,292 I love looking into your face. 348 00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:05,903 I don't know what it is about you this evening, 349 00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:09,919 maybe it's the way the light hits your eyes, maybe it's the wine, 350 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,674 but you look puffy.. you should go home and sleep. 351 00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:19,170 There. Is that better? 352 00:19:19,983 --> 00:19:22,000 Sadly, yes. 353 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:25,340 May I walk you home? And be honest. 354 00:19:26,757 --> 00:19:28,306 Okay. 355 00:19:36,538 --> 00:19:40,038 You know, if someone had told me a year ago 356 00:19:40,039 --> 00:19:41,869 that I'd be driving a car 357 00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:44,657 and sucking the flesh off a dead bird, 358 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,113 I'd have called 'em a liar. 359 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,474 Being human is far more complex than I thought. 360 00:19:50,475 --> 00:19:53,442 There is no absolute personal truth here, 361 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,314 and these bodies don't come with an owner's manual. 362 00:19:56,315 --> 00:19:59,573 So every day these people have to make up life, 363 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:02,714 and truth becomes highly individual. 364 00:20:02,715 --> 00:20:04,220 Oh, my god, Dick, 365 00:20:04,727 --> 00:20:07,848 what if this lying thing falls into the hands of the politicians? 366 00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:12,902 Ooh, that's a horrifying thought. 367 00:20:13,555 --> 00:20:15,546 I think these humans bend the truth 368 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,138 because this is a difficult place to live. 369 00:20:18,139 --> 00:20:20,292 It's a lonely blue dot 370 00:20:20,293 --> 00:20:21,925 on the far end of the galaxy. 371 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:25,298 And all the half-truths and flattery and diplomacy 372 00:20:25,299 --> 00:20:28,124 are the lubricant that people spread on each other 373 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,432 to get over the rough spots. 374 00:20:29,976 --> 00:20:33,224 It's a lot easier on our planet. No one ever lies. 375 00:20:33,905 --> 00:20:36,522 Except, of course, when you don't want to help somebody move. 376 00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:39,780 I was sick that day. - I helped you move. 377 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:40,708 I had two boxes. 378 00:20:40,709 --> 00:20:43,952 Who packed the boxes? okay, listen, if we're gonna... 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net