1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,004 - Jack, I've got a huge problem. 2 00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,589 The TGS sweatshirts were 3 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,258 supposed to say "TGS season six, yuck," 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,550 which is a catch-phrase from a pretty great sketch. 5 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,262 Yuck! 6 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,234 - But they got misprinted and now they say, 7 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,016 "TGS season six, duck!" 8 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:17,768 And that's a season five catchphrase. 9 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,853 - Duck!? 10 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,605 - Lemon, that is not a real problem. 11 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,691 A real problem is losing your giant scissors 12 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,319 right before a ribbon-cutting for a couch factory. 13 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:31,698 I just... Had them. 14 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,200 Oh, thank god. 15 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,661 I thought I'd lost them. Today... 16 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,829 I want everything to be perfect. 17 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,121 I'm opening a factory. 18 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,749 And factories provide three things 19 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,043 this country desperately needs: 20 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,505 Jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs. 21 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,107 - Great, so we solved your problem, 22 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,400 but now I've gotta wear last year's sweatshirt 23 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,093 to my cousin's wedding. 24 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,929 - Oh, I'm so tired. 25 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,599 I was out all last night with my new rock star boyfriend. 26 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,536 - Oh, I listened to rock and roll music once, 27 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,062 but I stopped before I started worshipping the devil. 28 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,065 The song went, "Mr. Sandma... ", then I shut it off. 29 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,357 - Morning, Jenna. 30 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,651 - Oh, thanks. 31 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,736 Dating a musician is amazing. 32 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,739 This sexual walkabout I'm on is really opening me up 33 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,866 to new experiences. - What's new? 34 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,618 You've been with tons of musicians. 35 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,012 Back in Chicago, I walked in on you 36 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,871 with the guy from blues traveler. 37 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,291 He still had his harmonica thing on. 38 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,293 - Sure, I've dated musicians before. 39 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,587 But I've never sexually manipulated one 40 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,297 into leaving his band for me. 41 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,632 Like Yoko Ono and the Beatles, 42 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,135 or Lance Drake Mandrell and Wilson Phillips. 43 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,263 My boyfriend's last album went quadruple-platinum. 44 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,141 They sold out Madison square garden in nine minutes, 45 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,976 for a Tuesday morning show. 46 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,853 - Wait, who plays on a Tuesday morning? 47 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:46,481 - I don't know, just a little band called the Woggels. 48 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,213 ♪ Apples are red ♪ 49 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,693 ♪ bananas are yellow ♪ 50 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,739 ♪ I love my friends, bananas are yellow ♪ 51 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,425 My Russ is the Blue one. 52 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,577 - He's about to do something amazing. 53 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,956 - Oh, I know the Woggels. 54 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,008 My eight-year-old niece walked down the aisle 55 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,245 to that song at her wedding. 56 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,754 - Wait, you're trying to break up a children's group? 57 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,446 - Well, it checks off a lot of boxes 58 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,132 on my sexual walkabout list. 59 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,424 "Yoko a band, 60 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,178 "make love to a beloved children's entertainer, 61 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,555 be with a non-aboriginal Australian..." 62 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,033 - I thought the whole point of this 63 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,701 was to see if someone could make you happier than Paul. 64 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,119 I mean, if you're just checking off boxes, 65 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,812 maybe you should get back together before it's too late. 66 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,165 - What's that supposed to mean? 67 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,649 He's not replacing me. 68 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:29,980 We're having an adventure. 69 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,902 And I hope right now he is also 70 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,945 with a beloved children's entertainer. 71 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,280 Maybe Raffi. 72 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,742 Or the sedated prisoner they put inside of Barney. 73 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,178 - Something terrible has happened! 74 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,536 And for once I'm not talking about 75 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:46,166 the collapse of the middle class. 76 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,626 It's my family. 77 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,838 My oldest son, George foreman, got into Stanford, 78 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,088 and he's planning to attend. 79 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,380 - Tracy, that's awesome. Stanford's a great school. 80 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,801 I didn't even get in, and I was first in my class. 81 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,893 Although, only seven of us graduated that year 82 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,554 because of a bad mono outbreak which 83 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,849 somehow missed me, despite all the frenching I did. 84 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,226 - You don't understand. 85 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,395 Jordan men don't go to college. 86 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,689 We go to the school of hard knocks, 87 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,420 a one-year vocational program where you learn to bang on doors 88 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,527 and scare people into subscribing to magazines 89 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,445 that they'll never get. - Mr. Jordan, 90 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,322 you should be proud. - Proud? 91 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,116 My son's a nerd! 92 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:19,741 - Tracy, in the real world, 93 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,868 you need a college degree to succeed. 94 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,160 - Really, Dotcom? 95 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,892 How did your city council campaign go? 96 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,475 - Well, as far as raising the level of discourse in this city? 97 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,835 I'd say it was a great success. 98 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,795 - This is Angie's fault! She coddled him. 99 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,007 I'm gonna teach my son what it is to be a Jordan. 100 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,425 And I'm gonna die trying! 101 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:45,559 ♪ ♪ 102 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,074 - Yes? 103 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,284 - Mr. Donaghy. 104 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,828 This is Dr. Pravin Singh. 105 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,120 I performed your mother's heart surgery last month. 106 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,929 - No, you must have the wrong Mr. Donaghy. 107 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,542 My mother didn't have heart surgery. 108 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,834 - Colleen Donaghy. 109 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,630 Born April 24, 1925, at Boston catholic guilt hospital. 110 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,132 She keeps calling me Aladdin. 111 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,424 - That's definitely her. 112 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,948 - Well, she's recovering very nicely, 113 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,928 but we don't have anyone to release her to. 114 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,031 We found your name on a list of disappointments 115 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,474 she keeps folded up in her shoe. 116 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,368 - Well, doctor, I can't come to the hospital 117 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,392 to bring my mother home. 118 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,811 I'm in New York, not Florida. 119 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,423 - Mr. Donaghy, I'm calling you from Cornell medical center. 120 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,149 - My mother's in New York? 121 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,943 - Dr. Singh, are you stealing my hats? 122 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,237 What do you do, feed them to your cow god? 123 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,739 - Mother, what are you doing? 124 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:42,783 - Who told you to call my son? 125 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,285 - Oh, please, you wanted him to call. 126 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,580 Somehow, you knew I was opening a sofa factory today. 127 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,540 Could we just... - Ooh, sofa. 128 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,959 Somebody got all flouncy when I wasn't looking. 129 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,931 What are you gonna do, put on your galoshes 130 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,130 and go eat some fruit, like a frenchman? 131 00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,926 - Fruit is part of a balanced diet, you miserable harridan. 132 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:04,221 Good god! You've ruined every significant moment in my life. 133 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,222 And now, 134 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,599 you've ruined this. - Jack, for god's sake, 135 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,726 there's only one reason I came to New York, 136 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,938 and that's because Gunga Din here takes my insurance. 137 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,832 - So you were planning on never telling me 138 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,056 you were having heart surgery? 139 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,376 - Look, I do have other patients. 140 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,069 - Yes, I'm sure you do. 141 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,947 - Oh. 142 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,657 Yes, I know it's over, kouchie. 143 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,952 Unlike you, I have eyes. 144 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,098 ♪ Tugboat captain lollipops ♪ 145 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,207 ♪ silly dinosaurs ♪ 146 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,794 ♪ this is just a list of things now let's list some more ♪ 147 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,086 ♪ a pogo stick ♪ 148 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,880 ♪ a hot air balloon ♪ 149 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,132 ♪ a hat that's full of soup ♪ 150 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,010 ♪ another pogo stick ♪ 151 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,304 Yeah! All right! 152 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,305 - Okay, all right. 153 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:48,741 Where do you think you're going? 154 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,933 - I'm with Russ, Ian. 155 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,309 What? 156 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,187 You afraid my sexuality might tear this band apart? 157 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,522 - Listen here, Jenna. 158 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:56,982 We're the Woggels. 159 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,192 Nothing can tear us apart... 160 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:04,281 Except for the shark that got a hold of the fifth Woggel. 161 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:07,117 ♪ Basketballs hula hoops rollercoaster loop-the-loops ♪ 162 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,827 ♪ you just heard the Woggels sing ♪ 163 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,453 ♪ a very silly list of things ♪ 164 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,831 Woggel power! 165 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,458 - So to help your mother's weakened heart continue to beat, 166 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,377 we implanted an "LVAD" device. 167 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,813 - Yes, I'm familiar with that. 168 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,197 My good friend dick Cheney got one. 169 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,299 A month later, he and I went hunting in Mexico. 170 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,759 He shot thousands of doves that day 171 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,720 and only hit me in the leg once. 172 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,347 - So, you know that it runs on rechargeable batteries? 173 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,975 - Like the flashlight in my race war preparedness bag. 174 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,518 - Mrs. Donaghy, 175 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,896 the fact that you didn't call your son is worrisome. 176 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,331 - What good would he have been? 177 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,024 He's useless in a hospital. 178 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,484 I recall this one time 179 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,069 he cried and cried. 180 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,946 I mean, it was more like wailing. 181 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,656 It was awful. 182 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,617 - She's referring to my birth. 183 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,469 - Look, I know this is a lot to process, 184 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,954 so I'll leave you two alone to talk. 185 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,789 - About what? 186 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,005 Can you believe this is the best room they have? 187 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,049 This is supposed to be a hospital, 188 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,760 not a Japanese internment camp 189 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,763 I volunteered at during the war. 190 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:10,764 - Well, if you're not happy here 191 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,158 I could put you up at the Plaza. 192 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:12,807 You could look out at the park 193 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,644 and watch carriage horses being whipped. 194 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:16,978 I know how you love that. 195 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,272 - I can't go to the Plaza, and you know it. 196 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,857 What if I run into Eloise? 197 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,985 Am I supposed not to mention the fact 198 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,988 that she has a gay grandson? 199 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,490 Everybody knows! 200 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,217 - Well, then, of course I'd love to have you stay 201 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,660 with me and Liddy. - Liddy? 202 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,245 Why couldn't you name the baby after my mother? 203 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,789 - Because at Ellis island, 204 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:42,087 your mother's name was recorded as "unclaimed Irish stowaway." 205 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,546 - Son, 206 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:44,899 we have a lot of work to do today 207 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,841 if I'm gonna "reverse Urkel" you. 208 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,259 - Dad, I just want to read. 209 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,970 - Jordan men don't read. 210 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,264 Grizz, tear this book in half. 211 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,849 Son, I'm gonna show you 212 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,143 how a real Jordan man enjoys himself. 213 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,645 It's montage time. 214 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,606 - Tray, montage got married and quit stripping. 215 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,658 - Fine, we'll just do a series of activities. 216 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,170 - ♪ Gonna build a daydream ♪ - ♪ uh-huh ♪ 217 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,779 - ♪ from a little hope ♪ - ♪ uh-huh ♪ 218 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,948 - ♪ gonna push that daydream ♪ - ♪ uh-huh ♪ 219 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,117 - ♪ up a mountain slope ♪ - ♪ uh-huh ♪ 220 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,129 - ♪ gonna build a daydream ♪ - ♪ yeah yeah ♪ 221 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,121 - ♪ gonna see it through ♪ - ♪ yeah yeah ♪ 222 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,373 - ♪ gonna build a mountain and a daydream ♪ 223 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,809 ♪ gonna make 'em both come true ♪ 224 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,918 - ♪ yeah yeah ♪ - ♪ gonna build a heaven ♪ 225 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,879 ♪ from a little hell ♪ - ♪ little hell ♪ 226 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,257 - ♪ gonna build a heaven ♪ 227 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,384 ♪ and I know darn well ♪ - ♪ darn well ♪ 228 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,396 - ♪ if I build my mountain ♪ - ♪ yeah yeah ♪ 229 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,513 - ♪ with a lot of care ♪ - ♪ yeah yeah ♪ 230 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,366 - ♪ and take my daydream up the mountain ♪ 231 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:38,351 ♪ heaven will be waiting there ♪ 232 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,563 - ♪ gonna build a mountain gonna build it high ♪ 233 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,690 ♪ I don't know how I'm gonna do it ♪ 234 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,067 ♪ I only know I'm gonna try ♪ 235 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,862 - Well, Colleen ruined the ribbon-cutting. 236 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,947 She's in New York. She's been here for weeks, 237 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,782 recovering from heart surgery. 238 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,117 - Oh, my god, is she okay? 239 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,409 - She's fine. 240 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,495 They gave her the same heart pump dick Cheney had. 241 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,140 Next thing you know, they'll be giving her 242 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,624 his retractable wings and rocket arms. 243 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,043 She's going to Bury us all. 244 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,045 - Jack, your mom's 87. 245 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,464 Do you think maybe she had the surgery in New York 246 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,509 to be close to you, so you guys could, you know, have the talk? 247 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:12,801 - "The talk"? 248 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,889 Lemon, my mother did explain sex to me, three years ago. 249 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,974 There were... Drawings. 250 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,477 - No, I mean, the talk. 251 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,969 Your mom's heart doesn't work. 252 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,620 You need to sit down and say how you feel 253 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,774 so you don't have any regrets. 254 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,984 I've done it, Jack, and it isn't easy, 255 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,652 but it's very rewarding. 256 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,572 You talk in your sleep. 257 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,240 I know what you did in the war, 258 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,660 and before you die, I want you to know that I know. 259 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,829 I know you donaghys think you're so tough, 260 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,182 but Colleen is here because she's trying 261 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,499 to reach out to you. 262 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,584 Just get in the same room with her, 263 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,836 and the talk will happen. 264 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,880 I guar-on-tee. 265 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,332 I don't know why I said that. 266 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,948 This is such a serious conversation. 267 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,218 I'm sorry. 268 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,969 - Uh, Lemon, I assure you, 269 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,472 my mother is not in New York to spend time with me. 270 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,283 She already wants to leave my apartment 271 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,142 because Liddy is "giving her the stink eye." 272 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:06,856 As soon as she feels up to it, 273 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,025 she is going back to Florida. 274 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,069 There was no need for us to start jabbering 275 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,987 about our feelings and sobbing 276 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,073 like bill belichick listening to Adele. 277 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:15,990 - Okay, fine. 278 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,034 But you and your mom... - Nope. 279 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,386 - As my coffee cup said this morning, 280 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,579 "you only regret the things you didn't do. 281 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,671 This cup was made from recycled toilet paper." 282 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,060 Don't let Colleen leave without saying what you need to say. 283 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,084 - Last word. - Damn it! 284 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:36,970 - ♪ I'm a kangaroo, I'm a kangaroo ♪ 285 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,473 ♪ loot da doo da doo ♪ - what is that? 286 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,225 - Oh, it's nothing. 287 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,117 It's just a song I've been fiddling with. 288 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,349 Or, as we say in Australia, 289 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,813 a song I've been fiddling wazzle. 290 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,857 - It's good. 291 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,150 It's really good. 292 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,818 And this is coming from someone 293 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,320 Quincy Jones once pushed off a boat. 294 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:58,158 So, why does Ian write all the songs? 295 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,160 He's just keeping you down, 296 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:04,289 because he knows you're the real genius of the Woggels. 297 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,039 - Really? 298 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,332 Do you think so, Jenna? 299 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,793 - It doesn't matter what this brain thinks. 300 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,882 It matters what this brain thinks. 301 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,156 - Lemon, there you are. - Good morning, Jack. 302 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,181 Did you talk to Colleen? 303 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,933 If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, 304 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,225 I'd prefer a meat one. 305 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,895 - Yes, Colleen and I did talk. 306 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,647 Specifically, she said a car was circling the block, 307 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,816 "casing the house." 308 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,428 I tried to explain that those were all different taxi cabs, 309 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,881 and she said, "then why is the same man driving all of them," 310 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,323 and insisted on leaving. 311 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,824 She won't go to a hotel, 312 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,135 and she hates the Princeton club, 313 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,439 because Dean Cain is always there 314 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,954 hoping to get recognized. 315 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,086 I tried to leave her at the "bodies" exhibit... 316 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,559 - god, that is all just a smoke screen. 317 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,628 She's acting out because she wants to have the conversation, 318 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,160 and you won't meet her halfway. 319 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,048 - I decided something last night 320 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,925 after I got your tenth text message, 321 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,052 one of which was an inscrutable emoticon. 322 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,344 - Hold it sideways, 323 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,554 it's me going like this: 324 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,014 "Talk to your mother!" 325 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,433 The "8" is my glasses. 326 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,852 - Yes, someday, my mother is going to die, 327 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,854 and we're going to deal with it our way. 328 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,186 - Well, your way is wrong, 329 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,651 and I bet Colleen agrees with me. 330 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,778 - I'm glad you said that, Lemon. 331 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,572 Good luck. 332 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,115 - Ah, Elizabeth. 333 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,119 Can we do something about the temperature in here? 334 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,788 I'd like it humid and cold. 335 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,080 Duck? 336 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,086 - Yoko announcement. 337 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,046 Russ wrote a song. 338 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,422 A great song. 339 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,274 And if you don't sing it at the gwammys, 340 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,344 which is the grammys for toddlers, Russ is going solo. 341 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,430 - Russ, I write the songs here, so you have to choose. 342 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,100 Her, or us? 343 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,059 Come on, mate, Woggel power. 344 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,603 - In Australia, "Woggel" means "white." 345 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,895 - Hm. 346 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,106 Let's get out of here. 347 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,942 I want to lick that turtleneck off of you. 348 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,236 - Yeah. Come on, Jenna. 349 00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,612 - Fine, leave. 350 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:00,280 We'll just replace you. 351 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,323 Anyone can be replaced. 352 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,615 Especially girlfriends. 353 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,702 - No, you don't know what you're talking about. 354 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:06,411 Paul isn't gonna... 355 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,289 I mean, Russ. 356 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,624 Paul is American for Russ. 357 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,835 - Oh. 358 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,301 Ugh, Dean Cain. 359 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,094 - You know what? 360 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,263 I'm glad Jack put you in here. 361 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:29,058 Because I think we need to talk, about talking. 362 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,510 - What's the matter with you? 363 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,978 Are you on drugs or something? 364 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,070 - Don't you think, at a certain point in life, 365 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,650 parents and children should sit down and express their feelings 366 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,068 before it's too late? 367 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,695 - God on a wheel! 368 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,697 Jackie and I know how we feel. 369 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,617 We don't have to say it out loud like a couple of gays 370 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,538 getting married in Jean shorts in provincetown 371 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,292 while I'm just trying to enjoy an ice cream on the pier! 372 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,064 - Okay, fine. If I can't convince you, 373 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,380 maybe you'll listen to the words of Mike and the mechanics, 374 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:04,677 whose song the living years I definitely remember. 375 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,555 "Say it out, speak it clear." 376 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,975 "You should listen, dude. Also, hear." 377 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,895 "It's too late, when..." 378 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,706 You have two minutes 379 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,776 to find that battery before I die. 380 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,699 - You guys do not like talking! 381 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,618 - Great news, everyone! 382 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,079 George foreman is not going to Stanford. 383 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,040 He's decided to permanently join the entourage. 384 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:35,917 - I'll start the paperwork. 385 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,919 - Wait, he's not going to college? 386 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,571 - Look, yesterday was the first time I've ever spent the day 387 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,382 with my dad like that, and... 388 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,425 I just want to keep doing it. 389 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,385 - You need to take him to security. 390 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,862 It takes a week to get an I.D. 391 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,221 - Tony will rush it for me. 392 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,640 We do zumba together. 393 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:56,104 My son is 17. 394 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,980 Have I really never spent a day with him 395 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,274 doing father and son stuff? 396 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,610 Like teaching him how to ride a bike... 397 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,904 Down the Luxor pyramid. 398 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,489 Or drive a car... 399 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,742 Vel franchise into the ground. 400 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,079 I never even taught him how to shave... 401 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,372 An orangutan. 402 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,999 - Well, sir... 403 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,293 That doesn't mean you're a bad father. 404 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,585 - Yes, it does. 405 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,339 I haven't been there for him since day one. 406 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,634 Hey, Angie. 407 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:27,926 What's up? 408 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,303 You had the baby? 409 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,597 Okay. Name him George foreman. 410 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,683 And also, we're out of soda at home. 411 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,327 - Lamont, hurry up and deliver that baby 412 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,396 before they realize we're not doctors. 413 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,481 But I'm finally connecting with my son, 414 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,191 and he wants to be here. 415 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,110 I don't know what to do. 416 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,487 I wish I had a father to talk to. 417 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,824 But Liz Lemon is the only person I know who even has a father. 418 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,952 - Well, Mr. Jordan, speaking from experience, 419 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,039 all my children... Was cancelled. 420 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,459 As you can see, I'm out of my wheelhouse here. 421 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,295 But, if you want to talk about wheelhouses... 422 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,213 - Liz Lemon it is. 423 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,925 - ♪ I'm a little Joey a baby kangaroo ♪ 424 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,510 ♪ jumped out of mommy's pouch ♪ 425 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,138 ♪ and now I don't know what to do ♪ 426 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,850 ♪ I wanted to go walkabout, around the world I roamed ♪ 427 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,645 ♪ but now the fun is over, and I want to get back home ♪ 428 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:23,524 ♪ mommy kangaroo mommy kangaroo ♪ 429 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,403 ♪ separate the races, mommy kangaroo ♪ 430 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,695 - Oh, god. 431 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,656 It's all been a terrible mistake. 432 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,908 You don't just jump out of the pouch and walk away 433 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,661 from something so good, something that makes you happy. 434 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,872 - Wait. 435 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,975 Are you saying I should go back to the Woggels? 436 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:40,625 - The what? 437 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:41,542 No. 438 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,420 That song, like everything, is about me. 439 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,090 I'm the baby kangaroo who went on the walkabout. 440 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,343 What have I done? 441 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,472 - My driver will take you to the airport. 442 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,141 I'm glad you're feeling well enough to travel. 443 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,310 - Jack, can we make sure the pilot is a man. 444 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,162 I don't know, ever since Amelia earhart, 445 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,189 I'm a little skittish about lady pilots. 446 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,399 - Yes, mother, captain Chuck cutler. 447 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,771 I'm told he has a mustache. 448 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,069 - Mm, good. - Good-bye, mother. 449 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,570 - I know it won't be welcome, 450 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,823 but I will point out that this is your final "talk-portunity." 451 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,801 - Not another word, Lemon. - Sew up your cabbage hole, 452 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:15,243 girl. 453 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,015 - Lime to a Lemon, you need to tell me 454 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,496 what to do about George foreman. 455 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,874 - Liz, has this whole walkabout thing been a mistake? 456 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,644 - Jenna made me forget about... - What if I'm already too late? 457 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,853 - Why I came here, so I guess... - What if Paul's actually... 458 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,896 - I'll just go to the beach. - Replaced me? 459 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,589 - Both of you need to stop right there. 460 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,275 If you are having a problem with a loved one, 461 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,427 there is only one thing you need to do. 462 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,719 Communicate! 463 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,223 Go to Paul, go to George foreman. 464 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,226 And as difficult as it might be, 465 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,228 talk to them. 466 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,146 Before you lose them forever, 467 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,399 tell them how you feel. 468 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,484 Have the talk. 469 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:53,322 - George foreman first, dinner break, then Paul. 470 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,614 - I'm sorry, 471 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,384 was that supposed to be for our benefit? 472 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,616 Do you think we're idiots? 473 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:58,743 - If you were my kid, 474 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,746 I'd mail you back to the stork. 475 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:01,706 - She's not kidding. 476 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,878 When I was eight, she took me to the post office 477 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,377 because I spilled juice on a couch reserved for the pope, 478 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,838 which has still never been used. 479 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:09,797 - He'll come. 480 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,466 But I am sorry I tried to mail you. 481 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,301 - I forgive you. 482 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,302 And I'm sorry about the juice, 483 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,512 which you should know was actually wine. 484 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,848 - I forgive you, too. 485 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,475 You know, you've always been my favorite child. 486 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,810 - Thank you. 487 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,382 - You never gave me any trouble. 488 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,980 You always ate your vegetables, 489 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,272 you went to church, 490 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,191 and you loved breast feeding. 491 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,277 - I just wanted to make you proud of me. 492 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,070 That's all I ever wanted. 493 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,002 If I've ever had any success in this life, 494 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,198 it's because of you. 495 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,490 - Oh. 496 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,495 - I made this happen! 497 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,957 Not a part of this, I get it. 498 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,249 But I made this happen! 499 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,337 I made this happen. 500 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,964 - Son, this isn't easy for me to say, 501 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,091 because my tongue caught what my foot has. 502 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,676 But I need to say it. 503 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,303 You should do what's best for you. 504 00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,348 - Look, I want to go to college, but... 505 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,640 I love you, dad. 506 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,451 - And I'm gonna love you no matter what. 507 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,561 Even if you become a doctor, or a lawyer, 508 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,564 or a philanthropist who devotes his life to others. 509 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,983 I'll still be proud of you. 510 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,195 Good-bye, my son. 511 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,739 - But dad, college doesn't start for another five months. 512 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,241 - I said, good-bye, my son. 513 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,871 - Great. Now let's go do my thing. 514 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,748 - Okay. 515 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,879 ♪ ♪ 516 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,171 Oh, god. 517 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,967 He's dressed like her. 518 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,428 I'm too late. 519 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,349 I've been replaced. 520 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,398 Kouchie? 521 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,658 - Look on the Bright side. 522 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:05,579 My thing went perfectly. 523 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,290 - I have something for you. 524 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,126 It's not much, 525 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,421 but I thought maybe you could put it in Liddy's room. 526 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,715 - Oh. 527 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,299 Oh. 528 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:18,968 This was your mother's. 529 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,264 - Well, I know, but I wanted to make sure you got it. 530 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,556 - Hang on. 531 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,642 If your plan was to have surgery, 532 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,645 then go back to Florida without ever seeing me, 533 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,272 why did you bring this with you? 534 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,525 - What is this, the Spanish inquisition? 535 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,485 - Oh, you'd know. You lived through it. 536 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,405 Oh. 537 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,911 Get... off. Ow! 538 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,872 Get off... - I did this! 539 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:53,878 All: ♪ feelings feelings feelings say how you feel ♪ 540 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,046 - ♪ apples ♪ - ♪ you taste good ♪ 541 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,424 - ♪ trees ♪ - ♪ you give us wood ♪ 542 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,593 - ♪ grandma ♪ - ♪ I am gay ♪ 543 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:01,885 - ♪ bridge ♪ 544 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,280 - ♪ you turn me on in a sexual way ♪ 545 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,389 - ♪ spaghetti ♪ - ♪ you're my favorite food ♪ 546 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,841 - ♪ a dog in sunglasses ♪ - ♪ you're a real cool dude ♪ 547 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,244 - ♪ police ♪ - ♪ I killed a man ♪ 548 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,561 - ♪ son ♪ - ♪ your father's Dan ♪ 549 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,354 - ♪ wife ♪ - ♪ I've been to a whore ♪ 550 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:16,776 All: ♪ feelings feelings feelings say how you feel ♪ 551 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,445 - ♪ twin ♪ - ♪ get back in your cage ♪ 552 00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:21,864 - ♪ teacher ♪ - ♪ put your penis away ♪ 553 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:25,034 - ♪ moon ♪ - ♪ you turn me into a wolf ♪