1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,337
- Previously on 30 rock...
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:04,689
- So you're...
- In three weddings
3
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,923
on the same day, yeah.
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,050
- Fate is telling us
we're each other's
5
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,510
settling soul mates.
6
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,094
- I've been seeing someone else,
7
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,489
and I think I'm in
love with both of you.
8
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,555
- Jack wants me to stall?
9
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,602
So I'm gonna marry...
10
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,230
Japheth.
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,982
And we're gonna live in...
12
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,901
Nineveh.
13
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,946
And I'm gonna be a...
14
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Prostitute.
15
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,282
- Yes, I continued
to see other people.
16
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,993
- One person, who apparently
you're also in love with.
17
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,365
- It's possible. Haven't you
ever read Archie comics?
18
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,373
- Jack, I got divorced.
19
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,458
- I didn't know if you
would ever leave Mark,
20
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,545
so I let myself fall
into something else.
21
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You look amazing in that dress.
22
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- You look like a gay
mortician in that suit.
23
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,054
- You know, Kenneth,
I have a thankless job.
24
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,657
For example, I'm
here on a Saturday
25
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,391
to show around
some Kabletown folks.
26
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Chk-chk! Boom!
27
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,845
It's not real.
28
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Point is, I usually only
get to deliver bad news.
29
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,023
But not today.
30
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:09,027
Kenneth, you are the new...
31
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,240
Junior in-charge boy of the
entire NBC page program.
32
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- Oh, my goodness!
33
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,286
This is my dream come true.
34
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And to hear it from my best
friend in the whole world,
35
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,208
comma, bald category.
36
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,740
- Well, you start in two weeks.
37
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And they'll give you some moving
money to help you get to L.A.
38
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- California?
39
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I can't move out there
40
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and be away from all of you.
41
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,928
No, thank you, sir. I'll pass.
42
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- No, you can't pass.
43
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,471
Jack put you up for this.
44
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,367
If you don't want the job
you have to talk to him.
45
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- Fine. I will talk to him.
46
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And Mr. Donaghy will understand,
47
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cause he's my best
friend in the whole world,
48
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comma, beautiful hair
category. Parentheses, strong.
49
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- ♪And a man must
leave his mother ♪
50
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♪ and a woman needs her bones ♪
51
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- What can I say, Nancy?
52
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I want to be with you.
53
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,037
I want to take naps with you.
54
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,639
I want to watch you
watch a hockey game.
55
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I want to find long red hairs
in my overcooked pot roast.
56
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I love you.
57
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I do love you,
58
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because you know
that what I really am
59
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is a poor mama's boy from
Sadchester, Massachusetts
60
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who had to wear his sister's
hand-me-down corduroys.
61
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- They were orange and
had hearts for pockets.
62
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- And you like me anyway.
63
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- Yeah, I get it, Jack,
64
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but what are you
gonna do about it?
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I can't share you
with another woman
66
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like you're that
mormon guy on HBO
67
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who was in that tornado movie.
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The one with the
girl with the forehead
69
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who was married
to that Jewish guy.
70
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- What?
71
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- I'm a mom. Give me a break.
72
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I need to know right now,
73
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are you in or are you out?
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- In. Nancy, I'm in.
75
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- Okay.
76
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Then I'm in too.
77
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- ♪Sum of all his parts
78
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♪ there is a love
79
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♪ Floyd and Kaitlyn
80
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♪ there is love...
81
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♪
82
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- Paul? What are you doing?
83
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- I thought you
were going to get
84
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your hair done for
your friend's wedding.
85
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- I was, but I forgot
my bag of hair.
86
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Is this who you're into now?
87
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,124
Cher?
88
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,584
You're being another
woman behind my back?
89
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- It's not what it looks like.
90
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- Oh, spare me
your lame excuses.
91
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,297
Maybe I'm old-fashioned,
92
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but when a girl
dates a straight man
93
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who impersonates her on
Stage for mostly gay audiences,
94
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she has certain expectations.
95
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Fidelity, Paul.
96
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,648
It's not just the name
of a bank that sued me.
97
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- But I love you both equally.
98
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- I don't know what to tell you.
99
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But you have to choose.
100
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It's her or me.
101
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,192
Jenna, babe, wait.
102
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I'm sorry.
103
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:59,156
That came out wrong.
104
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,370
25 minutes... okay
105
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,372
- Mr. Donaghy!
- Oh! God, Kenneth!
106
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,250
I need to talk to you about
an urgent, page-related matter.
107
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He came outta nowhere!
108
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We can talk on Monday.
109
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Ms. Donnovan and I have an
hour between weddings to, uh...
110
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-Tickle eachother
like telletubbies.
111
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,257
That's how I used to
explain it to my kids
112
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,259
when they walked in on us.
113
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But I don't want
my promotion, sir
114
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I wanna stay here in New
York with all my friends.
115
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I'm not going to let
you say no, Kenneth.
116
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This is a promotion for you.
117
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:28,643
And yes, it's difficult,
118
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but today is about
pulling triggers.
119
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,147
It's about making bold choices.
120
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,274
- It's about...
- Two spidermans fighting...
121
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Sometimes make weird noises
but they're not hurting each other.
122
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,838
- How often do
they walk in on you?
123
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,489
- A lot.
124
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If you'll excuse me.
125
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- D'oh, bother! Treble bother!
126
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- What is it?
127
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:50,624
- My fancy dress slippers.
128
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,292
I left them in my office.
129
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,464
- So go get them and
meet me at Cerie's wedding.
130
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,629
- No. When I was fired,
131
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I vowed on the snipes name
132
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I would never set
foot in there again.
133
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Also Kevin in security
has a picture of me.
134
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,758
- So, what, you want me to
go get your tuxedo shoes?
135
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,473
- See? Our minds are already one
136
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,933
as our bodies soon shall be.
137
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There's the address.
138
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,229
- Of course. You
work in insurance.
139
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,481
- Specializing in the
transportation industry.
140
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,901
Fulfills my boyhood
passion for train accidents.
141
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,433
- Fine. I'll go get your shoes.
142
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,771
- Farewell, my luscious plum.
143
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,575
- Oh, son of a...
144
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:27,987
- why is your face like that?
145
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,708
- California? No way, Ken.
146
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,627
You got to tank this promotion.
147
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,679
Do a sloppy job, and
they'll leave you alone.
148
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:41,716
That's how I got out of
doing foreplay with Angie.
149
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,552
And my taxes.
150
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,554
- That's not in my nature.
151
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,431
- If you've learned
anything from me,
152
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,350
it's how to do a bad job.
153
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:51,935
Go. Honor me.
154
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:52,769
Save yourself.
155
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,604
But first get me a sandwich.
156
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,358
- Get it yourself, chubbs.
I'm on a coffee break.
157
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,487
- That's my boy.
158
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,492
♪
159
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:08,784
Ah.
160
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,054
Hit the ladies' room real quick.
161
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,372
One of these non-denominationa
162
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,944
-around weddings is gonna start.
163
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,909
- Jack Donaghy.
- Paul I'astname.
164
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,047
I'm Jenna's boyfriend.
165
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,758
- Oh, I've heard a
lot about you, Paul.
166
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- Well, it's all true.
167
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,050
I'm a native of Houston,
and I love to cook healthy.
168
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,763
- And the female
impersonator stuff.
169
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,640
- Oh, sure. Of course, yeah.
170
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,852
It's actually been causing
some problems at home lately.
171
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,814
Do you think it's possible
to love two women at once?
172
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,317
- I know it's possible.
173
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,527
But at some point, you
have to choose, Paul.
174
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,613
You can't delude
yourself with thoughts like,
175
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,325
"what if I could somehow combine
them into one perfect woman,
176
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,535
like a s'more you could
take a shower with?"
177
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,889
- But how do you know if
you've made the right decision?
178
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,748
- You don't.
179
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,058
You'll always be wondering
180
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,376
what your life
would have been like
181
00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,948
if you'd opened that other door.
182
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,796
- Like at a haunted
house sex party.
183
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,088
- Exactly.
184
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,508
- Thank you, Jack.
185
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,681
- Come on, Jessup.
Get it together. No tears.
186
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,922
- Everything all right in there?
187
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,647
- I'm fine. Thank you.
188
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,233
- Here. You need
this more than I do.
189
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,735
I never put my mouth on it.
190
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,529
- Thanks.
- You look so familiar to me.
191
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,783
- Oh, I'm a financial
reporter for cnbc.
192
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,369
The hot box with a very Jessup.
193
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,497
- No. You ever do a commercial
for overshoppe. Com?
194
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,789
- Oh, god, I did.
195
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,542
Oh, that was before I got
rid of my Maryland accent.
196
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,671
- Does the "o"
have it? "O," we do.
197
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,881
Do you "o"? "O," no?
198
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,550
Let go. "O."
199
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,678
- Ugh. That accent's idiotic.
200
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,888
Anyway, nice to meet
you, Avery Jessup.
201
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,723
I'm Nancy.
- Hi.
202
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,643
I'm not normally this...
ahem... overwhelmed.
203
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,937
I-I came here to
talk to my boyfriend
204
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,563
or whatever he is.
205
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,041
I mean, this whole situation...
206
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,776
Clamp down, Jessup! Be a winner.
207
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,612
Oh, my god.
208
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,739
I can't drink this.
209
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,496
- You wanna talk about it?
210
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,958
- Oh, tuxedo slippers.
Give me a break.
211
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:22,627
- Excuse me.
212
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,587
I'm supposed to meet you here?
213
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:25,505
- Huh?
214
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,507
- Are you Wesley? I'm Carol.
215
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,119
- I'm sorry. What's
happening now?
216
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,112
- I'm supposed to meet a
Wesley about my insurance claim.
217
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,554
- Wesley doesn't
work here anymore.
218
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,555
- Are you serious?
219
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,907
I mean, I made the appointment,
220
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,891
like, a month ago. I
rearranged my whole Saturday.
221
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:38,309
- Are you a doorman?
222
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,687
- Yeah, I'm a
doorman... To the sky.
223
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,647
I'm a pilot.
224
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:43,648
- Oh, okay.
225
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,168
- Well, look, it's a pretty
standard workman's comp claim.
226
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,861
I'm sure you could handle it.
227
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,572
I was flying the 7:00 A.M.
from tampa to louisville,
228
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:51,531
and we had a
two-hour weather delay,
229
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,616
so naturally all the
passengers got drunk.
230
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,386
Generally speaking,
if there's a delay
231
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,930
of more than 20 minutes, I might
as well be driving a party bus.
232
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,622
It's just idiocy.
233
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,058
I don't know what's
going on in this country.
234
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,626
- I know. People wear
flip-flops to church.
235
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,962
And the NBA tattoo
situation is out of control.
236
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,882
- Thank you. Anyway, we're
about a half hour into the flight,
237
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,634
I hear this commotion
behind me in the cabin,
238
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,237
so I exit the cockpit,
I go down the aisle,
239
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,554
and to my left, I see...
240
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:15,846
A terrorist?
241
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,557
- No. I wish. No,
it's a drunk lady.
242
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,684
She's pulled her pants
off, and she's ranting.
243
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,704
She's complaining about
the in-flight entertainment.
244
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,646
So things got a little heated...
245
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,899
And I had to implement sky law.
246
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,692
- What's...
- Sky law.
247
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,784
It's when I put on the
"fasten seatbelt" sign,
248
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,172
and no one's allowed to move
249
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,989
till we've had ten
minutes of silence.
250
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,491
I made the whole thing up.
251
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,010
But, you know,
people are stupid,
252
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,074
so they don't question it.
253
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,745
- That is awesome.
254
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,873
So what is the workman's
comp part of this?
255
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,768
- Eventually, I flipped
the drunk lady off,
256
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:44,894
she bit my finger.
257
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,478
- I know. It was
totally unprofessional.
258
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,047
But she was bagging
pretty hard on my TGS.
259
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,715
- What?
- TGS.
260
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,801
It's this late-night
show on NBC.
261
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,720
We run it in-flight when
we're northwest-bound.
262
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,932
Basically, the greatest
thing ever on television.
263
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,059
I don't stand for anybody
besmirching it on my aircraft.
264
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,936
- Do you believe in fate?
265
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:07,816
- Wait a minute.
Are you kidding me?
266
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,526
You write for TGS
with Tracy Jordan?
267
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:10,819
- I'm the head writer.
268
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,737
I'm not an insurance
claims adjustor.
269
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,907
I'm just here
because my cousin...
270
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,715
- Well, I mean, it's
my favorite show ever.
271
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,581
There's the one
fart doctor sketch
272
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,518
where this fart doctor's
trying to figure out who farted
273
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,982
in the spelling
bee, and he's like...
274
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,753
- "He who spelt it, dealt it."
275
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,845
I wrote that. I write
all of the fart doctors.
276
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,132
- I can't believe this.
277
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,153
- Would you like to go to a
rich girl's wedding with me?
278
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,937
- I don't know. Does
that sound like more fun
279
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,889
than me eating alone
at the LaGuardia Chili's?
280
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,059
- I won't leave you, sir.
281
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,061
No matter what it takes.
282
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,607
Good afternoon,
and welcome... Not.
283
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,734
We begin our stupid tour
284
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,111
of this once-great network
285
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,738
outside studio 6h.
286
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,782
Uh-oh. Ring-ring.
287
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,951
Hmm. What's up?
288
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:04,664
Nothing. Just giving a dumb
tour to a bunch of uggos.
289
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:05,956
Let's meet up later
290
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,959
and smoke some drug cigarettes.
291
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,838
- You're a pilot, huh?
292
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,799
I should pick your brain.
293
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,319
I'm developing a daytime talk
show with Sully Sullenberger.
294
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,011
- Yeah, I met that guy.
295
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,762
He's not that great.
296
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,282
You know what a great
pilot would have done?
297
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,807
Not hit the birds.
298
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,819
That's what I do every
day... Not hit birds.
299
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,381
Where's my ticket
to the grammys?
300
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,664
- Hey, what took you
so long in the bathroom?
301
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,857
- The usual ladies'
room nonsense.
302
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:31,858
Girl with boyfriend troubles.
303
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,150
Someone forgot tampons.
304
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,903
Everybody's bad
at science and math.
305
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,779
You know the drill.
306
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,823
- The ceremony
will be starting soon.
307
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:39,824
- I'll get our table number.
308
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,993
You get as many
drinks as you can carry.
309
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,786
- I'll see you at
the reception, Liz.
310
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,872
Jack.
- Carol.
311
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,208
- Get ready for some of this.
312
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,212
Later.
313
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:52,921
- He's here with you?
314
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:53,880
- Indeed he is.
315
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,257
I see that Nancy is still here.
316
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,800
You're welcome.
317
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,553
- Smug 40-year-old bridesmaid.
What a treat for everyone.
318
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,931
Yes, Lemon, I am with Nancy now.
319
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:03,640
- What made up your mind?
320
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,292
- Well, I decided
that any decision
321
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,809
was better than
no decision at all.
322
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,141
- Huh. I don't know, Jack.
323
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,908
I used to feel that way
too, but now I know
324
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,606
you can't force your fate.
325
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,650
You just have to
let it wash over you,
326
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,378
like a spray tan that won't take
because your skin is too oily.
327
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,654
- That's absurd, Lemon.
328
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,131
The world is made
by those who control
329
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,155
their own destiny.
330
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,908
It isn't made by
those who don't do.
331
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,660
It's made by those who do do,
332
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,312
which is what made
me the man I am.
333
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,205
I do do.
334
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,497
- Yeah.
335
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,874
- Grow up, Lemon.
336
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,228
The point is I made my
choice, and I'm not looking back.
337
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,252
Period.
- Period.
338
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,178
- Avery Jessup?
339
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,470
Son of a...
340
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,324
- What did you do
on your tour today?
341
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:46,849
Those were the
Kabletown executives...
342
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,141
Our new bosses.
343
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,144
- Sir, I was just
trying to do a bad job
344
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,772
so I wouldn't have
to go to Los Angeles.
345
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,941
Everyone there smiles
creepily all the time.
346
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,734
And that's sort of my thing.
347
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,106
- Kenneth, you're not going
348
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,904
to Los Angeles.
- Oh.
349
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,699
- Because they're
making me fire you.
350
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,325
You're fired.
351
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:25,722
- Ready?
352
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,266
- Here. This is yours.
353
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:29,767
- Oh, Nancy, I'm sorry.
354
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,811
This is an
embarrassing oversight.
355
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,205
- Jack, this morning at church,
356
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,231
you told me all the
reasons that you loved me,
357
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,024
some more graphic
358
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,067
than were appropriate
for the setting.
359
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:38,985
Now I want you to tell me
360
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,696
what's so special
about this other woman.
361
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,282
- Well, I like how
she's less hot than you.
362
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,241
- I'm serious.
363
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,784
- What can I say?
364
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,953
She's smart. She's pretty.
365
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,140
She can tell you the dow
40 in order of market cap.
366
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,249
She knows how to
field dress a deer.
367
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,876
Why do you...
- Go on.
368
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,919
- Okay.
369
00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:00,840
Her laugh is like music.
370
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:02,342
Really mean music.
371
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,885
And she always wears high heels
372
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,804
because, according to her,
flat shoes are for quitters.
373
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,765
For god sakes, what can I say?
374
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,284
You'd like her.
- So you weren't lying
375
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,143
when you said you were
in love with two women?
376
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,729
- No. I wasn't lying.
- Good.
377
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,165
Then I feel a lot
better about leaving.
378
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,149
- What?
- Avery's here, Jack.
379
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,904
And she's pregnant.
380
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,155
- Oh, my god.
381
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,866
This is crazy.
382
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,159
- Ah, it's fate.
383
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,370
You were supposed to be a dad.
384
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,997
And by the way, when I
blew your mind last night,
385
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,125
I was giving it about 50%.
386
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,921
- Unhand my fiancee!
387
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,839
- No, no, he's just a groomsman.
388
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,050
And a Somali pirate. Careful.
389
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,486
- You tried to end
our engagement
390
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,221
with a textual transmission.
391
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,349
Your behavior as a fiancee
392
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,851
has been as weak
as American tea.
393
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,395
There. I've said it.
394
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:57,814
Our first argument, everyone.
395
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,816
- You're engaged?
396
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,193
What if the bachelorette
party theme was sluts?
397
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,862
- No, the engagement is off.
398
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,907
You keep talking about how
fate is trying to push us together.
399
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,034
You know what, it is.
But not to meet you.
400
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,994
To meet the right man.
401
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,122
His name is Carol.
402
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,040
Like carroll o'Connor
from Nick at nite.
403
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,452
- Exactly, Cerie. Thank you.
404
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,545
Carol is the one that
I was fated to meet.
405
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,713
And, yeah, I've only
known him for a few hours,
406
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,125
and maybe this sounds crazy,
407
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,967
but I already feel
like I could spend
408
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,419
the rest of my life with him.
409
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,971
He's the one that
I've been waiting for.
410
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:34,225
And someday, when Carol
sees my disgusting foot secret,
411
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,060
he's gonna be okay with it.
412
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,352
I can tell.
413
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,437
You were wrong, Wesley.
414
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,273
We don't have to settle.
415
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,941
The moms were wrong.
416
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,985
Stupid buzz aldrin was wrong.
417
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,112
So thank you and good-bye.
418
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:50,992
Praise to the
universe. Love is real!
419
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,829
- Fine. It's your loss.
420
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,040
There's only one Wesley
snipes in this world.
421
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,375
- You know there isn't.
422
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,619
- How much of that did you hear?
423
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:07,884
- Well, you were engaged.
424
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,361
Apparently you hate buzz aldrin.
425
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,761
Foot problem.
426
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,322
And you and I are going to spend
427
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,586
the rest of our lives together.
428
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,723
- I see.
429
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,102
I'm sure you could
get a cab on Houston.
430
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,520
- Yeah, I'm gonna depart.
431
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,521
On time.
432
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,192
I'm a pilot.
433
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,364
- Jack.
434
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,909
- Carol.
435
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,410
- ♪In your eyes
436
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:39,165
♪ in your eyes
437
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:42,960
♪ there is a light
438
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,631
♪ in your eyes
439
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,926
♪ in your eyes
440
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,178
- could you turn
that down, please?
441
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,470
- ♪There is a li...
442
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,057
- Mazel tov.
443
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,393
- I'm trying to tell you
I want to get married.
444
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,937
- Oh, for god's sakes, Jack.
445
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,373
What do you think, you're just
gonna sweep me off my feet?
446
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,108
This pregnancy is two
years ahead of schedule.
447
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,401
I'm suing Dodecacil.
448
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,403
I'm suing you. I'm
suing this baby.
449
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,197
- You can't control
everything, Avery.
450
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:12,489
Sometimes it's just fate.
451
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,867
- Ugh. Is there gay
juice in the champagne?
452
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,559
- See. I want you
to teach our child
453
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,496
how to say awesome
stuff like that.
454
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,123
- I would be a kick-ass mom.
455
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,168
But if this is just you
trying to do the right thing...
456
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,586
- no. I want this.
457
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,338
I've always wanted this.
458
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,090
But maybe it's too hard.
459
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,050
The career, motherhood,
460
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,552
keeping it tight
461
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,196
to stay camera-ready
for breaking news.
462
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,980
I mean, sure, soledad
O'Brien does it, but...
463
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,266
- I wipe the floor
with that bitch.
464
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,561
Let's do this.
465
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,022
- Love is patient.
466
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,358
Love is weird and
sometimes gross.
467
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,444
Love is elusive, and
you have found it.
468
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,946
So treasure it.
469
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,573
To Grizz and Feyonce.
470
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,369
- On behalf of
Grizz and Feyonce,
471
00:17:58,661 --> 00:17:59,954
I'd like to thank Jack Donaghy
472
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,290
for letting us have
this reception here
473
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,001
after the other location
couldn't support the weight
474
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,378
of Grizz's extended family.
475
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,257
Now hit it.
476
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,137
- Naturally, I blew it.
477
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,264
Now I'm alone in a dashiki.
478
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,391
I wonder what that
Somali pirate's deal is.
479
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,683
I could live on a boat.
480
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,519
- I don't even know
where Paul went.
481
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,229
I guess he made his choice.
482
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,623
- You know what? Forget men.
483
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,732
We've got each other.
484
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,400
- Yeah. Let's go lez.
485
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,732
- No, I meant, like, a book
club or something. Jeez.
486
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,404
- Right. Sisterhood.
487
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,281
That's something
we can count on.
488
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,653
I'll never... is that Paul?
489
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,037
- You have a lot
of taped-up balls
490
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,456
to come here dressed like that.
491
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:44,748
- Oh, my god.
492
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,125
- If this is gonna work, Jenna,
493
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:47,710
it can't just be all about you.
494
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,420
- But...
- No buts.
495
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,006
I'm the man here, and
you're gonna respect me.
496
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,676
- Yes, shma'am.
497
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:01,557
- Lemon, you know that's a
young boy's puberty dashiki.
498
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,268
- Wrong, Jack. It's a
warlord's concubine dashiki.
499
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,103
Avery, you're here.
500
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,706
I'm not surprised.
Why should I be?
501
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,106
- And I'm pregnant.
502
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:12,568
- Also not shocking me.
Reacting appropriately.
503
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,980
- Lemon, I think your pilot
friend is looking for you.
504
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,284
So?
505
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,637
I thought he was gone forever.
506
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,496
I guess I should go talk to him.
507
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,416
Carol, what are you doing here?
508
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,769
How did you get past security?
509
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,353
- You walk briskly
in a pilot's uniform,
510
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,647
you can go pretty much anywhere.
511
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,731
I've been upstairs
at the white house
512
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,090
while the obamas were sleeping.
513
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,591
- I thought you had a flight.
514
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,094
- Yeah, I do. Those
dirt bags can wait
515
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,696
on the runway a
couple more hours.
516
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,555
- I hate people too.
517
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,100
- Look, I'm 39
years old, I'm single,
518
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,286
and lately I've been thinking
there's a reason for that.
519
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,354
I keep expecting
people to be perfect,
520
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,481
but nobody's perfect.
- Yes. Exactly.
521
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:51,399
- So if the worst
thing about you
522
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,609
is that you give crazy
speeches to fiances
523
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,362
and maybe you have
some kind of foot thing...
524
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,881
- That was a joke. I
have medicine for it.
525
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,281
- Why don't we give this a shot?
526
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,533
As long as you're not
Jewish. I'm totally kidding.
527
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,410
- Yes. Let's do this.
528
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,455
And honestly, Carol, I
am a very normal person.
529
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,416
Not a good time, guys.
530
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,376
- Liz, Cher and me,
531
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,468
Paul, and I want to
thank you for being a part
532
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,670
of our lives.
533
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,340
- And for encouraging
us to be like this.
534
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,299
- I can't believe I'm meeting
535
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,385
1 1/2 Jenna maroneys right now.
536
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:20,677
Hi. Hi, there.
- Hi.
537
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,513
- Carol.
- Carol. That's a girl's name.
538
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:23,805
- It's a family name.
539
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:26,641
- Hey, everybody.
540
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,644
I got fired today.
541
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,523
You won't have Kenneth Ellen
Parcell to kick around anymore,
542
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,651
so I want to tell you people
543
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,154
what I really think of you.
544
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,656
- Hey, this ain't the...
- No. No.
545
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,369
For four long years, I have
listened to you all complain
546
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:50,374
about your east coast
media elite problems,
547
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,334
your apartment renovations,
548
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:56,380
and your overpriced
star wars memorabilia.
549
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:57,752
- That doorman is hammered.
550
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,259
- I have watched you
551
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,470
throw away better food
552
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,432
than my family
eats at Christmas.
553
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:10,603
And I have loved it.
554
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:14,398
You people, you
are my best friends,
555
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,525
and I hope you get everything
556
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,779
you want in life.
557
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,407
Kenneth!
558
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,701
So kiss my face!
559
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,453
- That was actually
really sweet.
560
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,414
- I'll see you all in heaven!
561
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,545
Have a wonderful summer!
562
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,631
All: ♪joyful, joyful
563
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,718
♪ everybody be
joyful, oh, happy day ♪
564
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,470
♪ oh, happy day
565
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,516
♪ Open, open
566
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,892
♪ your heart up to heaven ♪
567
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,852
♪ oh, happy day
568
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,437
♪ oh, happy day
569
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:57,525
♪ no more should we
wander in darkness ♪
570
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,695
♪ the shadows have faded away ♪
571
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,239
♪ when you open
572
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,533
♪ your heart up to heaven ♪
573
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:06,825
♪ oh, happy day
574
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:10,454
♪ Happy day, oh,
happy and joyful ♪
575
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:11,746
♪ heaven and 30 rock