1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,253
- Lemon.

2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,699
- I just got my
bridesmaid's dress

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:06,340
for Cerie's wedding.

4
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,760
It is a Vietnamese size two.

5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,637
- Dressing up isn't
any easier for men.

6
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,656
Do you know what it's like
when a younger man shows up

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,057
wearing the same cufflinks?

8
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,451
You might as well be invisible.

9
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,315
- Yeah, well, I'm not
gonna let this dress win.

10
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,479
I have a plan. This
morning, I joined...

11
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,771
- A suicide cult!
- A gym.

12
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,023
What do you want, Jack?

13
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:24,834
- I just received a
call from Don Geiss'

14
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:25,943
estate lawyer.

15
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,403
Apparently, I've
been named in his will.

16
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,031
- I know this is a
difficult time for you,

17
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,324
but word of advice:

18
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,260
If the will says that you
have to spend the night

19
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,345
in a haunted house,
you better hope

20
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,329
that everybody else there
is black guys and sluts.

21
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,378
- I just want something
to remember the man by.

22
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,333
- Okay.
- His pen or his tie clip.

23
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,585
Maybe that boyhood
sled he held so dear.

24
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,504
I believed he called it...

25
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,256
Sleddy.

26
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,628
Something which I, in turn,

27
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,677
can then pass on
to my... Protege.

28
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,449
Any chance it's one of those

29
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,138
bendy hospital beds?

30
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,224
- Maybe. He did have three.

31
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,812
He was such an amazing man.

32
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:15,284
♪ ♪

33
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,751
- Before we rehearse,

34
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,462
I have an announcement to make.

35
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:31,049
Our boy Grizz is getting
married on may 22nd.

36
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,262
- Jeez, <i>another</i> wedding.

37
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,972
- Life is like TV.

38
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,075
Testing tells us that
people like weddings, births,

39
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,018
and episodes where
a character dies.

40
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,019
- That's dumb.

41
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,187
- My heart!

42
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,399
- So I thought Grizz
might want to take this time

43
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,650
to announce who's
gonna be his best man.

44
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,153
- Um... I haven't decided yet.

45
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,530
- "Um, I haven't decided yet."

46
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:54,489
You sound like my mother

47
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,867
talking to the planned
parenthood lady.

48
00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,579
Seriously, which one of
your rich and famous friends

49
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,290
with hepatitis b are
you going to pick?

50
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,292
- Let's not do this
in front of everybody.

51
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,224
- Let's not do this in
front of everybody?

52
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,254
You sound like my mother
being pulled onstage

53
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,423
at a 2 live crew concert.

54
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,550
Damn.

55
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,969
My mother had problems.

56
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,864
- Oh, brother, we
have to tell Jenna

57
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,473
we can't do her
Kardashian sketch

58
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,476
because Jack is
"bros" with Lamar odom.

59
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:23,870
You are such a coward!

60
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,563
You think I care what you think?

61
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:27,397
- Hey, Jenna!

62
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,318
So look, we can't do
the Kardashian sketch.

63
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,570
- Okay, I understand.

64
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,405
Pete, there you are you.

65
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,217
I heard one of your
kids broke his arm.

66
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,742
- Oh, uh, yeah.

67
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,661
The shed I built
collapsed on him.

68
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,055
- Well, is he gonna be okay?

69
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:42,537
- What's going on?

70
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,498
Why are you being
so happy and nice?

71
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,510
Are you soaking your
tampons in vodka again?

72
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,460
- No, it's just...

73
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,295
Well, I met a guy, okay?

74
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,922
It's just been a few weeks.

75
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,650
We're not putting
labels on anything yet

76
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,966
because the glue is abrasive.

77
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,761
But I'm really happy.

78
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,639
- Is there any chance

79
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,556
this might make
our lives easier?

80
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,558
- No way. I have
seen this 100 times.

81
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,352
She gets psyched about some guy,

82
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,871
he reveals himself to be crazy,

83
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,914
then there's a terrible breakup,

84
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:08,522
and we suffer.

85
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,899
Remember when
she dated that sniper?

86
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,610
- And so it's over.

87
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,421
- Jenna, there's a laser
sight on your forehead.

88
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,765
- Oh, please.
He's not gonna fire.

89
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,703
For god's sakes, he's
scared of his own mother!

90
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:19,491
Aren't cha, Alan?

91
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,783
- Aah!

92
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,369
Whoever this new guy is,

93
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,370
we need to figure out his deal

94
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,664
before she gets burned
and takes it out on us.

95
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:26,540
- Tell me about it.

96
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,376
Remember this breakup,
when she bit me?

97
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,895
- Pete, that was,
like, two years ago.

98
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,130
- It just won't heal.

99
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,716
- That concludes Mr. Geiss'
financial disbursements.

100
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,301
I believe all have
been accounted for.

101
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,178
His daughter. His lovely wife.

102
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,180
His even lovelier mistress.

103
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,552
The secret Canadian family.

104
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,852
And his even more
secret attic family.

105
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,604
All that remains are
a few personal items.

106
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,564
"To my daughter Cathy,

107
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,607
"I bequeath my pocket watch.

108
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,653
"It comes with very
specific instructions for care,

109
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:57,487
"the most important of which

110
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,282
is to not let the
piece get wet."

111
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,497
"To my protege and friend,
John Francis Donaghy,

112
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,498
"I leave a gift

113
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,376
"from the gardens of
my estate in Connecticut.

114
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,504
My beloved pet peacock, argus."

115
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,763
Hello, old friend.

116
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,555
- Ugh! Vietnamese size two.

117
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,621
- Beth, I hope it
wasn't awkward for you

118
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:31,938
when Tracy brought
up my wedding.

119
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:32,939
- Why would it be awkward?

120
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,150
- Because of our sexual past.

121
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,361
- Leave it open. I'd feel safer.

122
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,238
- How could I help you, Grizz?

123
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,115
- Well, Tracy keeps pushing...

124
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,407
- To be your best man.

125
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,450
Yeah, I noticed that.

126
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,118
- But I wanna pick Dotcom and...

127
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,455
- And you're afraid
that Tracy will freak out.

128
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,208
So you want me to help you
convince him to step aside.

129
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,043
- You know my
every thought, Beth.

130
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,422
We really were the Sam
and Diane of this place.

131
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,383
No.

132
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:03,553
Liz, Pete,

133
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,930
I want you to meet someone.

134
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,264
This is my boyfriend Paul.

135
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,058
- Pete Hornberger.
- Hey.

136
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,185
- But you can call me Dallas.

137
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,413
This could be the start
of something for me.

138
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,688
- It's really nice to meet you,

139
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,440
and I'm a big fan of the show.

140
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,275
- Yeah, so, Paul,
what's your deal?

141
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,195
How did you guys meet?

142
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,487
- Through a mutual fund.

143
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,155
- Friend, Jenna.

144
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,199
- Oh, of course.
Through a friend fund.

145
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,200
- Noted.

146
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,203
And what do you
do for a living, Paul?

147
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,413
- Oh, I work for a bank.

148
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,332
- Rupt circus.

149
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,168
He works for a bankrupt circus.

150
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,093
- Okay, he's hiding something.

151
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,011
- I'm guessing...

152
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,638
Already-married cat strangler.

153
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,473
- Hmm.

154
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,100
Hey, could I just get a signa...

155
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,060
Agh! Living dinosaur!

156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,562
- Lemon.

157
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,063
This is argus.

158
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,415
He was a gift from Don Geiss.

159
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,024
Don's last gift, to be exact.

160
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,676
- Why did Don Geiss
have a peacock?

161
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,111
Is that an NBC thing?

162
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:04,239
- No, Don owned argus
long before he bought NBC.

163
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,409
Peacocks can
live up to 40 years,

164
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,287
longer if they're not part
of Mike Tyson's home zoo.

165
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,288
- Ohh, what a weird gift.

166
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,580
- Not at all.

167
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,958
When Don was first
taking me under his wing,

168
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,043
he and I would
sit on the veranda

169
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,396
of his home in Connecticut,

170
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,297
talking about
business, politics,

171
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,509
how to avoid getting paper
cuts while making love

172
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,050
on a pile of money.

173
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,702
And our friend argus would
strut proudly through the garden.

174
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,931
We three peacocks felt
like we owned the world.

175
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:30,765
- Well, that's a...

176
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,809
How did he get up here so quick?

177
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,270
- You know, I never told
anybody this before, Lemon,

178
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,397
but Don and I had
nicknames for each other.

179
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,691
- Like we might someday, j-town?

180
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,611
- We called each other
Sempai and Kohai.

181
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,112
Master and pupil.

182
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,239
Terms we learned
on a trip to Japan

183
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,342
because they played the
movie <i>rising sun</i> on the airplane.

184
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,702
Don was my Sempai.

185
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,288
Now this bird is...
All that remains.

186
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,249
- Jack, I'm really
sorry for your...

187
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,604
Oh, his feather
went in my mouth.

188
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,504
Ew, it's so oily.

189
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,796
- Lemon, he's marked you.

190
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,342
He thinks you're his wife.

191
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,261
Go! Get out.

192
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,306
Yah!

193
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,225
Hey, Tracy.

194
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,717
Grizz and I were just talking.

195
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,604
- Of course. You
guys are very close.

196
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:18,480
Continue.

197
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,316
- And we had an amazing idea.

198
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,088
We thought that
maybe, at the wedding,

199
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,862
you could be the lead
singer of the band.

200
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,490
- Really? I'd be
awesome at that.

201
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,075
- You would.

202
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,844
Now, of course you
couldn't sing and...

203
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,244
- but who's gonna tell you two?

204
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,788
- The wedding band is U2?

205
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,748
- No! You two idiots!

206
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,667
I see what you're trying to do.

207
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,460
You're trying to manipulate me

208
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,212
into not being the best man.

209
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,797
And, damn it, Grizz,

210
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,174
I've known you since
you was six feet tall!

211
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,593
I'm gonna be your best man!

212
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,470
I am the leader
of this entourage!

213
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,182
And because of you,
I'm having a tantrum!

214
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,144
Now pick up that table
and smash it for me!

215
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,523
That's right!

216
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,734
I know that.

217
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,026
- Hey, Jenna...

218
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:06,820
What are you doing?

219
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,948
- I'm just feeling the weight

220
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,785
of Jenna's jewelry
on my finger pads.

221
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,416
Pete!

222
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,959
Pete!

223
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,961
Ugh. Dallas.
- What's up?

224
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,922
- Paul is getting weirder.

225
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,176
We've got to step it up.

226
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,470
- You know what we should
do, we should follow him.

227
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,781
I don't care how long it takes.

228
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:34,805
- What's going on?

229
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:35,992
Your kids have a play tonight?

230
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,308
<i>- Oklahoma.</i>

231
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,703
They couldn't find
cowboy hats big enough

232
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:39,436
for my kid's head,

233
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,871
so they're just wearing turbans.

234
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,605
- It's on. When Paul
leaves, we follow him,

235
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:43,982
CIA style.

236
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,775
And afterwards, I go to the gym.

237
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:52,073
- Words are the first
step on the road to deeds!

238
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,162
- You wanted to see me, sir?

239
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,456
Oh, my, what a
gorgeous swamp eagle.

240
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,082
- This is argus.

241
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,627
He is very special to me.

242
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,463
- Is he okay?
- I don't know.

243
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,339
He's become listless.

244
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,215
And he won't eat any
of the peacock food

245
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,551
I got at the crazy
rich person's pet store.

246
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,123
Frankly, I don't
know what to do.

247
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,015
He's recently taken a mate.

248
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,558
- Lemon.

249
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,310
- Good luck, argus.

250
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,231
Well, sir, there's nothing
wrong with this bird.

251
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,567
He's just very old.

252
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,659
Argus probably doesn't
have very long to live.

253
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,113
- All of your page
duties stop right now.

254
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,205
The welfare of this bird
is your only concern.

255
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,409
He lives... Or you die.

256
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,996
- I was about to
suggest the same thing.

257
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,960
- Hey, dummy,

258
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,504
what are you doing to Grizz?

259
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:48,939
- Whoa, you watch your mouth,

260
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,633
before I show you
the back of my hand.

261
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,971
Look, you gotta grow up
about this best man thing.

262
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,140
- Liz Lemon, I don't
even want to be best man.

263
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,432
Why would I?

264
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,477
Show up one
time, not lose a ring,

265
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,646
keep my shirt on
through a dinner? Psh.

266
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,815
- Then why are you
throwing a fit about it?

267
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,651
- Because I'm trying to
protect Dotcom, dummy.

268
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,028
He's in love with
Grizz's fiancee...

269
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:12,862
Feyonce!

270
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,322
- Oh, your stutter is back.

271
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,700
- No, Grizz's fiancee's
name is Feyonce.

272
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,119
Like Beyonce with an "f."

273
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,537
- Ah, come on.
- Listen...

274
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,163
We cannot make Dotcom

275
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,295
get up there and give a
speech at that wedding.

276
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,500
It'd kill him!

277
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,392
- Wow, I can't believe
that you are using

278
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,130
your infantile
selfishness for good.

279
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,673
I'm impressed, Tracy.

280
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,383
- You think that's impressive,

281
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,260
watch me stand on one foot.

282
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,430
Hang on. I did it earlier.

283
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,722
- You're right, Tracy.

284
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,767
You've got to convince
Grizz to choose you.

285
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,060
- No, you do.

286
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062
- Why do I have
to do everything?

287
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,897
Oh! I am never
gonna fit in that dress.

288
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,943
- Bored!

289
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,444
- What? Ohh.

290
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,705
- That's a bar.

291
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,542
We're gonna have
to drink a lot to fit in.

292
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,629
- I don't understand
where he went.

293
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,298
- Can I get five
more beers here?

294
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,590
Name's Dallas.

295
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,038
I don't get it. Did we lose him?

296
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,137
What if he's in a secret
back room doing pot?

297
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,389
- Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together

298
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,267
for miss Jinah Baloney!

299
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,019
What did he say?

300
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,353
- Is that Jenna?

301
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,691
- No, it's Paul.

302
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,485
- ♪ My muffin top is all that ♪

303
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,321
♪ whole grain, low fat ♪

304
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,156
♪ I know you want
a piece of that ♪

305
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,991
♪ but I just want to dance ♪

306
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,285
I'm Jenna. Naturally.

307
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:46,206
- Jenna's boyfriend is a
Jenna Maroney impersonator.

308
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,497
♪ ♪

309
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,707
- Work it, miss Thang.

310
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,833
- Oh, god.

311
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:55,131
I'm gonna need five more
cranberry juices over here!

312
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,262
- Jack, I just found
out that Jenna

313
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:05,099
is dating a guy who does
a drag show... As her.

314
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,976
- Lemon, what is
with this food layout?

315
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,312
Kenneth says he
needs some sumac bark

316
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:09,979
and shrub yellow root

317
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,481
to make a poultice for argus.

318
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,441
- How is your thing
weirder than mine?

319
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,235
- I...

320
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,962
I am not letting that bird die.

321
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,154
And why does he have to?

322
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,198
For god's sakes, if
we can put an ear

323
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,532
on a mouse's back,

324
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,424
we can certainly make
a peacock immortal.

325
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,411
- Oh, Jack, I know
this is important to you,

326
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,705
but it is just a bird.

327
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,375
I mean, do you think maybe
you're so worked up about argus

328
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,211
because you never let
yourself grieve for Don?

329
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,712
- I did grieve for Don.

330
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,339
As soon as Jack Welch told me,

331
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,383
I went through all
five stages of grief.

332
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,426
Don is dead.

333
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,427
What?

334
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,554
- You didn't do anything.

335
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,286
- Let me retell
it... In slow motion.

336
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,016
- Don is dead.

337
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:58,194
♪ ♪

338
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,952
See?

339
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,638
- Sir, I just wanted
to let you know,

340
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,662
argus is sleeping.

341
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,040
- And you left him alone?

342
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,601
What if he rolls
over on his back

343
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,378
and his cloaca
fills with mucous?

344
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,547
- Oh, brother. This is
not about some peacock.

345
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,319
We're gonna have
to help him, Kenneth.

346
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,859
I have an idea, but you're
gonna have to take the lead,

347
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,243
because I am
stretched pretty thin.

348
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,053
- Well, not New
York thin, but...

349
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,098
Don't worry, I'm
on it, Ms. Lemon.

350
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,142
Sorry... Mrs. Argus.

351
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,060
- Okay.

352
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,563
- Beth, I need you to
do something for me.

353
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:34,564
- Yeah, actually, I
need to talk to you

354
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:35,231
about the wedding.

355
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,275
- I'm too upset to talk.

356
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,567
Look at me.

357
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,573
- What's this?

358
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,326
Grizz has asked me to
read this to both of you.

359
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,328
"Dear friends,

360
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,164
"I don't want any more
fighting or bad feelings.

361
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,624
"Tracy, I love you,
but I've known Dotcom

362
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,461
"ever since we went
to above the beanstalk,

363
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,629
"a free summer camp for giants.

364
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,090
"I want him to be my best man.

365
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,425
"And if you care about me,

366
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,926
"you'll respect my decision.

367
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,345
I will always be your"...

368
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,389
Oh, no, I'm white. I
can't read that word.

369
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,141
<i>"Friend</i> from the neighborhood.

370
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,560
Grizz."

371
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,480
- I'm so honored.

372
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,065
Now no one is getting hurt.

373
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,066
No one at all.

374
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,358
- Thanks, guys.

375
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,611
I'm so happy.

376
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,204
- Hey! Jenna!

377
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,623
So nice to meet Paul!

378
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,124
Interesting guy.

379
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,518
How much do you know about him?

380
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,461
- Well, I lost a
toe ring in him,

381
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:39,962
so I'd say a lot.

382
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,590
- No, I mean, like,
what he does...

383
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,162
At night, and what
he wears there

384
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:44,884
and who he's being.

385
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:48,304
- So... you know
about Paul's act.

386
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,139
- Wait, you know
about Paul's act?

387
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,516
- How do you think we met?

388
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,018
Paul won a Jenna Maroney
impersonator contest,

389
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,145
at which I came in fourth.

390
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,980
- And now you're dating him?

391
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:58,981
- That's it, right there.

392
00:14:59,273 --> 00:14:59,982
That face.

393
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,984
That is exactly why

394
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,462
I didn't tell you about
Paul in the first place.

395
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,280
Your judgmental badger face.

396
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,949
- Jenna, even for you,

397
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,284
this is weird.
- Be a friend, Liz.

398
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,038
Until then, I don't
want to talk to you.

399
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,500
- Looks like one
of us is in trouble.

400
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,258
- How is he?
- He's awake. But...

401
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:26,926
- But what?

402
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,218
- Well, sir,

403
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,179
I've spent a lot of
time with peafowl.

404
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,265
They make all sorts
of different noises.

405
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,020
Ooh, that's a car alarm.

406
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,472
- Kenneth, what's your point?

407
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,358
- It's just I've
never in all my life

408
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,650
heard a peacock say

409
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,112
Sempai and Kohai.

410
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,404
- What did you say?

411
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,282
- Sempai and Kohai.

412
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,035
At least, that's
what it sounded like.

413
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,264
Kenneth, I've been
under a lot of strain lately.

414
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,166
But do you believe a human soul

415
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,168
could be transferred
into an animal vessel?

416
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,420
- Sir, I think that there's
a lot about this world

417
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,046
that we don't understand.

418
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:04,964
Like the afterlife.

419
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,426
Or how bread turns into toast.

420
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,055
- Liz,

421
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,266
I am in love with
Grizz's fiancee, Feyonce.

422
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,143
- Oh, my god!

423
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,495
I definitely didn't know that.

424
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,563
- Would you talk to
Grizz and convince him

425
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,015
Tracy should be his best man?

426
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,066
- Okay, yeah. I'll try to help.

427
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,319
But can I please
go to the gym first?

428
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,196
- No.

429
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,158
- Hello.

430
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,159
Badger.

431
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:33,993
It's another badger.

432
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,995
The third badger
has taken the bait.

433
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,331
- Why is everyone
code named badger?

434
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,503
I thought you said you
wanted to do it this way.

435
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,126
- No, I said I didn't care.

436
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,260
Jenna, can we
please talk about this

437
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,596
before it becomes a big...

438
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,972
Aah!
- Hello, Liz.

439
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,344
Jenna told me I didn't need
to hide from you anymore.

440
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,018
- All right, let's
cut to the chase.

441
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,310
What's your game, friend?

442
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,705
What are you getting out of this

443
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,022
- what am I getting out of this?

444
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,314
- Yeah.

445
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,165
- I am the luckiest
"shman" in the world.

446
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,945
I get to be with
the most talented,

447
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,404
beautiful, sexy woman ever.

448
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,157
- So you aren't just
using her for your act?

449
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,158
- My act?

450
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,245
I'd never tuck my penis
again if she asked me.

451
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,246
All I want to do

452
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:22,208
is spend my days
listening to her talk and sing

453
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,260
and scream at her
cleaning lady on the phone.

454
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,254
To be honest, Liz,

455
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,398
I just don't understand
what she gets out of it.

456
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,092
- I think I do, Paul.

457
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,219
She finally gets
to love herself.

458
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:33,844
It's perfect.

459
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,681
- What are you
two talking about?

460
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:37,473
Both: You, Jenna.

461
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,518
- Ooh.

462
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,937
- This situation is
empirically weird.

463
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,148
But... I'm glad you're happy.

464
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,192
- I heard what
you said about me.

465
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,986
You're so sweet.

466
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,613
- God, you're incredible.

467
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,992
- Okay, guys, let's just...

468
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,121
Ew, Jenna, why are
you grabbing his boobs?

469
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,672
- I don't know, argus.

470
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,507
Maybe it's the scotch talking,

471
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,093
but I think...

472
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,887
There might be a
man's soul inside you.

473
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,022
- This is crazy, but, Don,

474
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,608
if you're in there...

475
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:29,942
Give me a sign.

476
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,326
- You want a drink.

477
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,019
- Don...

478
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,020
Sempai...

479
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,647
There's just a few things

480
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,148
I want you to know.

481
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,026
You're the father
that I never had.

482
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,402
- Just let me finish.

483
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,072
I want to live
the rest of my life

484
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,241
in a way that'll make you proud.

485
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,329
I just wish you could be
here to watch me do it.

486
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,255
Good-bye, sir.

487
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,386
- All right, Grizz.

488
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,055
I'm gonna speak
frankly to you now.

489
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,057
And I can do that
because of our...

490
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,349
Sexual past.

491
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,727
- Damn, Beth, let it go.

492
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,398
- Don't even have a best man.

493
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,358
Your wedding day

494
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,193
is about you and your bride.

495
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,487
So who cares what anyone thinks?

496
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,155
Love isn't judgmental.

497
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,865
Love is patient.

498
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,492
Love is... Weird.

499
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,662
And sometimes gross.

500
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,580
Love is elusive.

501
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:07,872
And you found it.

502
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,999
So treasure it.

503
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,752
And maybe don't leave
it alone with Dotcom.

504
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,130
- That was beautiful.

505
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,422
Look at me...

506
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,175
Crying like a baby.

507
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,053
- So now I am
Grizz and Feyonce's

508
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:21,887
woman of honor.

509
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,699
And he wants me to
give the same speech

510
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,642
at the hunts point marriott
while wearing a dashiki.

511
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,144
- So you're...

512
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,913
- in three weddings
in the same day, yeah.

513
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,021
You're welcome.

514
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,153
- ♪ When I was young ♪

515
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:42,116
♪ I never needed anyone ♪

516
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:46,704
♪ makin' love was just for fun ♪

517
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,497
♪ those days are gone ♪

518
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:53,836
- ♪ all by myself ♪

519
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,337
♪ don't wanna be ♪

520
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,300
Both: ♪ all by myself ♪

521
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,592
♪ anymore ♪

522
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,052
- This is awesome!

523
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:06,307
Both: ♪ all by myself ♪

524
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,559
♪ anymo... ♪