1 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:06,465 - Hey! 2 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,509 Did you know that everybody here 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,719 went out last night without us? 4 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,430 Oh, nerds! 5 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,100 Nerds? 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,439 Nerds. 7 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,958 - Yeah, Thursday night thunder. 8 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,734 That's been going on for years. 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,921 - You know about it? How come I've never been invited? 10 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,545 Don't you think that's a little bit rude? 11 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,773 - Well, I yelled "baba booey" 12 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,324 at Walter Cronkite's funeral, 13 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,494 so I actually have no idea of what's rude or not. 14 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:36,370 - Yeah, well, let me... 15 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,014 - but I couldn't thunder last night, 16 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,540 because I had to take Angie to the er. 17 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,631 She had some complications with her pregnancy, 18 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,086 so that kind of trumps your little problem. 19 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,005 - Ah, yeah, you're right. How is she? 20 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,857 - Well, she's fine, and the baby's fine, 21 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:49,984 but they put her on bed rest 22 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,328 till her blood pressure goes down. 23 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,593 - Well, listen, tray, if there's anything I can do, 24 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,471 please let me know. 25 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:55,889 - There's one thing. 26 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,700 Could you take care of Angie like a husband 27 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,560 until this whole ass-ache blows over? 28 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:00,852 - Absolutely not. 29 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:01,812 - What about you, k? 30 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,438 - I'm on it, sir! 31 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:15,985 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,213 - Oh, my. 33 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,007 I haven't seen your brow that furrowed 34 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,759 since you saw that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini. 35 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,531 - How is it possible? Is she a wizard? 36 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:35,947 - A question for another time, Lemon. 37 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,472 I was with Avery last night, 38 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,600 and I almost had a Nancy-related incident. 39 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,018 - Oh, Jack. 40 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,603 - Oh, nan... 41 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:43,894 Na. 42 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:44,688 - What? 43 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,273 - I was saying, "oh, Nana." 44 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,859 Have I not told you about my grandmother fetish? 45 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,612 Avery actually tried to get on board. 46 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:52,904 Later that night, 47 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,465 she put some mothballs behind her ears 48 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,489 and fed me peppermints. 49 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,200 - She is in it to win it. 50 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,535 - This can't go on. 51 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:02,039 I'm making a decision about Nancy and Avery today. 52 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,582 I'm going in the bunker. 53 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,042 No distractions. 54 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,668 I had Jonathan remove the bar 55 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,046 and my collection of 18th century French erotica. 56 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,338 - I've had to make some tough calls over the years, 57 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,863 switching Sheinhardt's wig production 58 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,152 to 100% Chinese cadaver hair, 59 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,346 turning down dick Cheney's offer to become King of Iraq, 60 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,682 selecting the brand-new logo for NBC. 61 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,309 It's fresh. 62 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,641 But this Nancy-Avery thing 63 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,730 is the toughest decision I've ever had to make. 64 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,742 - Well, I'm glad you're taking it seriously. 65 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,526 Although, sometimes when you try so hard to find love, 66 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,321 you can't see that it's been standing in front of you 67 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,813 the whole time. - Oh, good god. 68 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,354 - What did you come in here for? 69 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,704 Last night, I saw my entire staff out at a bar. 70 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,756 They go out every week and I'm never invited. 71 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,249 Do they not even like me? 72 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,821 - Oh, don't worry. It's healthy. 73 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,419 Bosses need to keep their distance 74 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,711 from their subordinates. 75 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,982 - Mr. Donaghy, I have to run out to Mr. Jordan's house. 76 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,901 I'll call you when I get there so you know I'm safe. 77 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,235 - No! I don't care if you're safe! 78 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:56,885 - I love you! 79 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,303 - After four years, 80 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,155 I thought I was close with these people. 81 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,556 I thought we were a family. 82 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,848 - Don't say family. 83 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,410 - Then I see them out at a bar without me, 84 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,870 giving each other windmill high-fives? 85 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,104 - Like in top gun. 86 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,415 But this is your staff. You can't let it bother you. 87 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,599 You could always come up here and have a drink with me, 88 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:12,733 a fellow Manager. 89 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,212 - Oh, great, that sounds really fun. 90 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,905 I'll just pour myself a drink. 91 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,911 Oh, I dropped my glass! 92 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,483 - Is that supposed to be a broom? 93 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:25,663 Anchor the handle. 94 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,747 Yeah. 95 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,915 There it is. 96 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,016 - This better be important. I'm in a meeting. 97 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,299 - Mr. Jordan, 98 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,970 the situation here has deteriorated. 99 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,262 - Great update, Ken. 100 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,824 Thanks for checking in. Talk to you later. 101 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:43,932 - Actually, sir, 102 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,384 I think you should come home. 103 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,311 Mrs. Jordan said she's going to turn her rings around 104 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,604 if she sees me again. 105 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,940 She wants you to come help her. 106 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,232 - What? But why? 107 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,527 You're much better at that serving stuff than I am. 108 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:56,819 - Well, your wife thinks 109 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,989 taking care of her should be your job 110 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:00,615 and I have to agree, sir. 111 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,492 You made a promise to care for her 112 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,202 in sickness and in health. 113 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,037 Don't you remember your wedding vows? 114 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,409 - To be honest, I couldn't really understand anything 115 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,666 Rick James was saying. 116 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,293 - Come home, Mr. Jordan. 117 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,585 Mrs. Jordan needs you. 118 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,796 - Fine, I'll be there soon. 119 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:15,714 And if you get hungry, 120 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,049 you can help yourself to anything in the fridge, 121 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,341 and once I'm there, 122 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,219 I'll determine how much to charge you. 123 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,351 - Hey, buddies. 124 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,605 Anybody do anything fun last night? 125 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,857 What about you, Frank? What did you do? 126 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,692 - I, uh, had a... 127 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,027 Doctor's appointment. 128 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,403 - Oh, really? For what? 129 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,196 - Oh, uh... 130 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:42,866 - Oh, god, it looks like the underside of an octopus! 131 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,802 - Hey, Liz, can I talk to you and Jenna in... 132 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,745 The office where everyone clips their toenails? 133 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,163 - Not cool, guys. 134 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,582 - As you guys know, 135 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,126 I'm getting married on may 22nd. 136 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,418 - You are? Still? 137 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,730 - Well, it was off for a while, 138 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,314 because my fiance was on his dad's yacht 139 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,632 and got captured by pirates, 140 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,468 but now, thanks to the a-team, he's back. 141 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,760 - Sure. 142 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:03,220 - He has a different energy now. 143 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,472 He's quieter. 144 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,265 But we're getting married. 145 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,576 - And are we still in the wedding? 146 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,768 - Of course. 147 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,996 The bridesmaids are you guys, Andy Roddick's wife, 148 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,020 my Dutch cousins, 149 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,023 and Penelope Cruz's hotter sister Monica. 150 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,942 - You're gonna be so out of place, Liz. 151 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,294 - Anyway, my mom said that if you guys 152 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,545 are gonna throw me a work party, 153 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,695 it has to be this week. 154 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,340 - Oh, no! Really? - Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 155 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,241 It's just that the schedule's really filling up 156 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,885 now that Aris is finally getting over 157 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:26,993 his Stockholm syndrome. 158 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,370 Oh, that reminds me. 159 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,371 You guys may have to walk down the aisle 160 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,663 with some pirates. 161 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,072 - It's just, I don't think I can plan a party this week. 162 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,250 I'm doing a juice fast, 163 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,654 and it's making me really grouchy. 164 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,546 Aah! 165 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,118 - You know what? This is perfect. 166 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,258 I'll have that party... Tonight, 167 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,717 and it'll be fun, 168 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,511 and you'll all see that I'm fun. 169 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,137 So screw both of you! 170 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,931 And screw everybody out here! 171 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,599 Liz Lemon is having a party! 172 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,451 ♪ And they're ain't no party ♪ 173 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,602 ♪ like a Liz Lemon party ♪ 174 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,398 ♪ 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory ♪ 175 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,192 - All right, Donaghy, 176 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,946 follow your heart. 177 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:07,158 "Hard equations and rational thinking." 178 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,293 Damn you, heart. 179 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:27,596 I'm sorry, sir. 180 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,472 There's a minor janitor problem. 181 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,084 I apologize for letting a kashmiri 182 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,309 into your office. 183 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,681 - I just need five minutes of your time, Mr. Donaghy. 184 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,738 - Now would be a good time, actually, 185 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,406 to handle the janitor situation. 186 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,782 - But, sir, what about... 187 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,354 - I always say bosses should stay 188 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,136 deeply involved with their subordinates. 189 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,763 - Does this mean you're coming to my cabaret? 190 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,957 - Jonathan, close the door. 191 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,834 - Please. 192 00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,629 So what can I do for you? 193 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,005 - It has been a week, 194 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,737 and I've heard nothing from you, sir. 195 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,204 Have you forgotten our agreement 196 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,468 about me taking over 11:30? 197 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,762 - I'm sorry. What? 198 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,534 - Five years ago, I threatened to quit 199 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,933 unless you got me out of the late night shift. 200 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,144 - Wow, other than some notable recent exceptions, 201 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,020 NBC never guarantees employment terms 202 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,563 five years in advance. 203 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,607 - I have a contract. 204 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,818 - That is my signature. 205 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,364 - You signed it on April 22, 2005. 206 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,532 - Okay, in my defense, every April 22nd, 207 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,910 I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk 208 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,703 and making some unpopular decisions. 209 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,372 - Well, I want the earlier shift. 210 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,104 It's better pay and more prestigious. 211 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,042 Ever since I am a little boy, 212 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,544 I am dreaming of hosing the tonight shift. 213 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:42,836 - Okay. Uh, calm down, 214 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,547 uh, Khonani. 215 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,359 I understand that I made you a promise, 216 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,677 and we're going to keep it, because this is NBC... 217 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,689 The biggest loser network. 218 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,055 - So you'll fix this? Today? 219 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,808 - Well, this is a janitor emergency, 220 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,180 and I really have no choice 221 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,831 but to make it my number one priority. 222 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,229 - Good. Thank you. 223 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,814 Can I have those pictures 224 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,400 for a special book the janitors keep? 225 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,276 - Absolutely not. 226 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,280 Aah! 227 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,616 Good monster! 228 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,201 Good scary monster! 229 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,329 - Hey, Ken, isn't that a fun place to stand? 230 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,666 Oh, I forgot to warn you about my dog, Tracy senior. 231 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,543 I trained him to hate white people, 232 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,835 because, not to profile, 233 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,004 but most ghosts are white. 234 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,922 This is my boy here. 235 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,924 And look what Angie did to him. 236 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,260 She set up an invisible fence. 237 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,512 He gets shocked if he tries to leave the property, 238 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,597 just because he'd run away and cause car accidents 239 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,392 and impregnate neighbors' horses. 240 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,924 He's trapped here just like me! 241 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,562 - Sir, you're not trapped. 242 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,648 Mrs. Jordan just wants you to be here for her. 243 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,940 - I'm trying, Ken, 244 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,192 and I want to be responsible, 245 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,361 but I've been me for a long time. 246 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,333 - Well, Mrs. Jordan isn't asking for a lot. 247 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,727 Right now, she just has a craving 248 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,217 for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 249 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,368 - No, we're not supposed to do any sex stuff 250 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,786 while she's on bed rest. 251 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,956 Oh! Like a real one! 252 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,248 I'm on it! 253 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,169 Maybe this'll get Angie 254 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,795 to stop calling me irresponsible. 255 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,338 Just stay focused 256 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,966 and take this sandwich to my wife. 257 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,258 Nope! 258 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,762 I'm in a strip club! My bad! 259 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,807 - Hey, Jenna, if I'm expecting about 20 people tonight, 260 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,184 how much ice should I get? 261 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,436 - Oh, you don't want to mess with that stuff, Liz. 262 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,646 Ice has caused a lot of ods in the porn community. 263 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,399 Oh, you mean frozen water? I don't know. 264 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,451 - Well, I just don't want to forget anything. 265 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,695 - Don't worry. No one's expecting a lot. 266 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,387 - No, tonight is gonna be different. 267 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,365 There's gonna be booze and a karaoke machine 268 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,817 and that Black Eyed Peas song 269 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,011 they wrote for bar mitzvahs. 270 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,512 Jenna Maroney to the floor. 271 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,497 - Sure, it will. 272 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:41,498 - Hello? 273 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,916 - Lemon, you know Subhas, 274 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,542 the current first-shift janitor? 275 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,044 - Uh, kind of. 276 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,605 - According to the janitor community, 277 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,629 you call him frequently 278 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,077 regarding home toilet situations. 279 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,442 - No, it's not that. We're dating. 280 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,175 - Lemon, please. 281 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,260 Look, I just need his phone number. 282 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,447 - What does this have to do with Avery and Nancy? 283 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,180 - That is taking a backseat 284 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,182 to this janitor situation right now. 285 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,975 I need Subhas to step down. 286 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,467 - But Subhas does a great job. 287 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:03,644 - Look, five years ago, 288 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,438 I promised Khonani the earlier shift. 289 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,791 - Why would you ever promise that? 290 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,655 - Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, 291 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:09,691 no health care, 292 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,194 and I kind of just thought he'd die 293 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,529 before it became a thing. 294 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,548 - Are you sure that you're not just using this 295 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,449 as an excuse to avoid your real problem? 296 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,035 - Lemon, this is a janitor emergency. 297 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:19,702 I need that phone number. 298 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:20,994 - Okay, let me find it. 299 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,539 Subhas... scrolling. 300 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:26,126 - I know you know it by heart. - 917... 301 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,169 - All right, Khonani, 302 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,301 if I've learned anything from recent experience 303 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,978 it's that we have to handle this next step 304 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,377 with Subhas very delicately. 305 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,259 - Oh, don't worry. 306 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,052 Subhas will want to leave, 307 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,384 spend time on his hobbies. 308 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,181 He collects classic car... 309 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,474 Cardboard. 310 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,309 Classic cardboard. 311 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,271 - Ken! 312 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,690 Why did you let me go to a strip club? 313 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,650 - I tried to stop you, sir, 314 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,102 but you threw your dog at me! 315 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,571 - This is bad, because I can't change! 316 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,282 I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard! 317 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,619 This better be a meeting, 'cause I'm important! 318 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,911 - Tracy, it's Liz. 319 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,757 I want you to know that at my party tonight, 320 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:05,915 you're off the leash. 321 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,333 I want to see the behavior 322 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,627 that got you kicked out of the inaugural ball. 323 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:10,919 - I can't, L.L. 324 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,505 First of all, the secret service 325 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,716 never gave me back my t-shirt Cannon, 326 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,092 and second of all, 327 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:17,945 I gotta stay home and take care of Angie! 328 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:18,678 - What? No! 329 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,555 Come on, you have to come. I need you. 330 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,116 This party has to be off the hook. 331 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,600 - People don't say that anymore. 332 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,685 They say "surf party, usa." 333 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,187 - Tracy, this is important. 334 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,063 I have to prove to my co-workers 335 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,524 that I am not some angry, UN-fun woman, 336 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,401 who doesn't deserve to be included. 337 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,158 - Look, Liz Lemon, I know your feelings are hurt, 338 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,951 but parties are like frisbees. 339 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,620 If you throw them the wrong way, 340 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,330 they'll veer off in a bad direction, 341 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,832 and then your kid will fall into a quarry. 342 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,124 - What? 343 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,668 - Don't throw a party for vengeance. 344 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,378 It will turn on you, 345 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,965 like your wife after your kid has fallen into a quarry. 346 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,384 - You know what? Fine. I don't need you. 347 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,930 I am gonna crush this party Liz-Lemon style. 348 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598 - I don't know what to do. 349 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,974 A party's in trouble, 350 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,285 and I'm the only one that can save it, 351 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,811 - but your wife and unborn daughter need you here. 352 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,230 - I'm torn, K-Pax. 353 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,940 I know I should be here, 354 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,912 but my body's gonna take me to Liz Lemon's. 355 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:14,983 What do I do? 356 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,367 Put the electric dog collar on me. 357 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,786 - It would be my honor. 358 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,736 - Subhas, thank you for coming in 359 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,669 and for showing me your, uh, special book. 360 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,671 More men in it than I would have expected. 361 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:35,338 - Book is book. 362 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,090 - Indeed. 363 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,009 Uh, Subhas, you've been with us a long time, 364 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,581 and you've done great work here, 365 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,345 but we need some new blood. 366 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,306 I've decided that it's time for you to step aside, 367 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,225 and Khonani will take over at 11:30. 368 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,517 - No! I'm in a union! 369 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,599 - Well, I have a contract! 370 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,604 - Meeting over! 371 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:52,605 - No, no, hold on. 372 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,650 There's always another option. 373 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,402 What of we re-invent the way people 374 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,254 think about their nightly trash removal? 375 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,488 - No, thank you. 376 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,675 - What if the night shift just got a whole lot earlier? 377 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,325 Gentlemen, there is a way 378 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,970 for everybody to get what they want 379 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,638 and for me to look like a genius and a hero. 380 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,663 - You're bullcrapping us. 381 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,665 - No, I am not. I am "innoventing." 382 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,417 A word that I just innovented. 383 00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,712 NBC. 384 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,048 It's fresh. 385 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,428 - Man, Tracy senior took off fast. 386 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,680 He did not want to live here. 387 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:26,972 - Sir, far be it from me 388 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,823 to question a plan this well thought out, 389 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,394 but what's going to keep you from just taking the collar off? 390 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,126 - You're gonna pour glue in the lock. 391 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,566 That's how my kids keep me out of the liquor cabinet. 392 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,651 - And, of course, I'll be here to help. 393 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,571 - No, Ken, there's something else you have to do... 394 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,197 For all of us. 395 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,617 Unfortunately, there's only one Tracy Jordan, 396 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,663 but sometimes he's needed in two places. 397 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,374 You're Tracy Jordan now. 398 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,126 Go. 399 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,502 Go save that party. 400 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,794 - Yes, sir! 401 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,425 - Wait. I don't walk that well. 402 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,067 - There he is. 403 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,439 How's your first day going? 404 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,987 - Oh, I don't know. You tell me. 405 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,319 - Khonani, I don't know enough about being a janitor 406 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,717 to understand what you're trying to tell me. 407 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,076 - There's no trash, Jack. 408 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,952 Ever since you moved Subhas to 10:00, 409 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,244 he takes all the trash. 410 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,997 No trash left for Khonani. 411 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,124 - Okay, well, there's a solution to this. 412 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,002 What if you and Subhas share 11:30? 413 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,129 - No, I wouldn't do that to 11:30. 414 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,565 - What are you talking about? 415 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,749 - What are you talking about? 416 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,176 There are two people who want the same thing. 417 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,468 They can't both have it. 418 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,696 You need to make a decision. 419 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,680 - I can't. Damn it, I can't. 420 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,408 Don't you think I know what it's like 421 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,472 to have two amazing people 422 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,185 who both want the same thing? I do! 423 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,063 And with Nancy and Avery, I'm the thing, Khonani. 424 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,065 I'm the trash shift. 425 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,517 - That sounds very difficult. 426 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,235 - It's impossible. It's paralyzed me. 427 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,320 I just want everyone to be happy. 428 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,988 - It doesn't work that way. 429 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,533 One person's heart is going to be broken. 430 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,286 You have to choose. 431 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,081 - I'm sticking with Subhas, Khonani. 432 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,373 I'm sorry. 433 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,292 - Okay. I know that was hard for you. 434 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,669 And don't worry. 435 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:23,339 I have a job for me at fox... 436 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,340 Woods. 437 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,632 Foxwoods casino. 438 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,511 My cousin is head janitor there. 439 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:33,516 - You ought to get that cough checked out. 440 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,689 - This better be meetment, I'm importing. 441 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,341 - Mr. Jordan, it's Kenneth Parcell, 442 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,566 from work and friendship. 443 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,693 - Key, Ken. 444 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,027 - With all the excitement, 445 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,320 I forgot that Mrs. Jordan 446 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,492 had asked me to get her blood pressure medicine. 447 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,531 She left it in her car. 448 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,034 But, sir, her car is parked out on the street. 449 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,327 - Oh, my god. 450 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,371 - I know. It's outside the electric fence. 451 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,663 - Oh, my god! 452 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:57,975 I just didn't want to go outside! 453 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:58,374 It's chilly! 454 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,169 - I can come back. This is all my fault. 455 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,379 - No. This is something I have to do myself. 456 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,549 - You're a good husband, Mr. Jordan. 457 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,302 Sir, is there any chance 458 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,593 your dog followed me here? 459 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,347 - Yes. He probably picked up your scent 460 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,639 and is hunting you. 461 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,392 I suggest you cut off a finger 462 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:20,271 and throw it in the river. 463 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,408 - Wow, Liz. 464 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,700 Good work. 465 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,391 This looks like the post-coital suite 466 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,621 at the NBA all-star game. 467 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,415 - Thanks, Jenna. 468 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,125 - Well, so now that everyone's here, 469 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,728 maybe someone should say a few words. 470 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:43,419 Absolutely. 471 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,671 ♪ Jimmy crack corn and I don't care ♪ 472 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,590 ♪ Jimmy crack corn and I don't care ♪ 473 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,259 - What are you doing? - Juice fast delirium, Liz. 474 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,595 - Um, I'm glad you could all make it 475 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,096 to Cerie's party. 476 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,473 I don't have a lot to say, 477 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:56,974 just that the bar is open 478 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,268 and the karaoke machine is ready to go. 479 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,938 - Karaoke, awesome. Yeah. 480 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,525 - You think I don't know what that is? 481 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,902 I know about Thursday night thunder 482 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,570 and I know that I'm not invited! 483 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,905 - Uh-oh. 484 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,197 - I deserve to be loved! 485 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,200 - Oh, no, she's going wide. 486 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,286 - I am a proud, single woman! 487 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,871 - How did it become about this? 488 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:19,413 - Go out the window! Save yourselves! 489 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,415 - I may not have a real family, 490 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,043 but I thought at least I had one at work, 491 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,963 which is not what I wanted for myself, by the way. 492 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,335 You think when I was a kid, 493 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,132 I dreamed of someday paying $1,200 494 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,467 for a karaoke machine 495 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,386 to impress a bunch of pasty losers? 496 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,798 - And a professional singer, 497 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,931 who's beautiful, but doesn't know it. 498 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,975 - So now let's all go around the room 499 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,310 and apologize to me! 500 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,354 - Oh, my god, this is the worst... 501 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,648 I had nowhere else to go! 502 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,316 Dog! 503 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,651 Dog attack! 504 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,704 Hmm. 505 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,957 Maybe this doesn't work on people. 506 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,459 Aah! Aah! 507 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:06,751 Oh, my neck! 508 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,671 My swan-like neck! Aah! 509 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,339 Oh! 510 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:13,551 Must... fight... through it. 511 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,345 Also must... Weed... Lawn! 512 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,058 I made it. 513 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,311 I'm on the other side. 514 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,235 I'm free. 515 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,071 I can go anywhere I want... 516 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,948 Like Liz's party 517 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,240 or one of those places 518 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,494 where you skydive over a huge fan. 519 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,462 Hmm... maybe it doesn't work on people any... 520 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,339 Aah! It still does! 521 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,007 Aah! 522 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,802 - Why is that thing following you? 523 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,094 - Hunting me! 524 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,304 Electric collar! 525 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,829 - There's no fire escape in this room! 526 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,310 - Why are we even here? 527 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,121 You make us show up, you start yelling, 528 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,414 and then we get attacked by a dog! 529 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,457 - And Cerie didn't even come. 530 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,608 That's just a cardboard cutout of her. 531 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,026 - But I rescued her. 532 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,988 - Quiet! Quiet! Everybody shut up! 533 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,659 We need to figure out what we're gonna do. 534 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,873 - Oh, really? Now I'm a part of the group? 535 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,765 Now you like me because you're in trouble 536 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,440 and you need someone to bail you out? 537 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,504 - Yes, that's exactly why we like you. 538 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,839 - We love you. You solve our problems. 539 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,211 That's what you're good at. 540 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,781 So what if you're not fun at parties? 541 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,362 - Yeah. You know who's fun at parties? 542 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:41,055 Paris Hilton, Andy dick, Tracy, 543 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,707 and they're all gonna burn in hell. 544 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:43,807 - Oh, god! 545 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,518 If you deliver me from this, 546 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,145 I promise every Sunday for the rest of my life, 547 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,439 I'll go to... 548 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,941 Huh? 549 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,734 I'm through it. 550 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,111 Pizza hut. 551 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,321 I'll go to pizza hut. Ha! 552 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,240 - Look, if this is a family, 553 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,532 that makes you the mom, 554 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,952 and you don't want to go out drinking with your mom. 555 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,204 - You want mommy to make the monsters go away. 556 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:07,873 - Oh, please - come on! 557 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:13,504 - Everything's gonna be all right. 558 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,466 Oh. Okay, Tracy senior, 559 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,093 let's see what you've got. 560 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,305 Aah! 561 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,057 Oh! Aah! 562 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,810 Run! Run, my losers! 563 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,523 Aah! 564 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:33,815 - Great party, Liz. 565 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,359 - Everybody take some cupcakes! 566 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,069 Aah! 567 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,575 - Hi, Subhas. 568 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,707 I have an extra headshot I was gonna throw out, 569 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,912 unless you want it for something. 570 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,415 - No! You're not book! 571 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,334 - Why? What am I doing wrong? 572 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,879 - Wanting to be book is not book. 573 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,006 - Mm... 574 00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,008 - So you solved your janitor thing. 575 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,719 Now back to Nancy and Avery? 576 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,211 Top gun high-five for courage? 577 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,431 - Only because you look like you need it so badly. 578 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,391 - I'm fine with that.