1 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:04,254 - Hi. 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,966 I'm looking for an engagement ring. 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:12,513 - Are you sure? 4 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,865 - Maybe you should have had a ring 5 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,949 the first time you proposed. 6 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,075 Then Elisa wouldn't have said no. 7 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,267 - She didn't say no. 8 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,578 She said we should think about it. 9 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,354 - Yeah, that does not mean yes. 10 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,314 In my experience, "let's think about it" 11 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,316 usually ends up with me watching solid gold 12 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,768 in my basement on prom night. 13 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,546 - The point is I have thought about it, 14 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,154 and I haven't changed my mind. 15 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,686 In fact, I've coined a new term 16 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,491 to describe what Elisa is to me: 17 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,660 The one. - The one? 18 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,662 - As in the only one for me. 19 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,289 The one I'm meant to be with. Get it? The one. 20 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,642 - Yeah, you should be a writer. 21 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,252 Whoa, check out the bling! 22 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,754 Or whatever it's called now. Aah! 23 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,675 Oh! 24 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,677 - Good god. - I got it! 25 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:55,305 Oh, god, there's a vent! 26 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:59,309 - She's very... spirited. Like a show horse. 27 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,601 You're a lucky man. 28 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,688 - Oh, no, no. She's not the bride. 29 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,606 This is the one I am marrying. 30 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,526 - Oh, my apologies, sir. 31 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:08,962 Please follow me to the real showroom. 32 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,195 - Yes. 33 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,365 - My finger is caught in the vent. 34 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,786 - Hey, where are my sno balls? 35 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,747 I was gonna go to the gym later, so I deserve a treat. 36 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,542 - Oh, miss Lemon, we can't have coconut products out anymore 37 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,914 because of staff allergies. 38 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,920 - What? No, allergies are psychosomatic. 39 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,464 The only reason I'm allergic to dogs 40 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,818 is because one bit me the first time I got my period. 41 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,385 - No, allergies are real. 42 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,679 If I have a strawberry, my throat shuts up 43 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,389 faster than a girl in math class. 44 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,182 - I didn't know you had allergies. 45 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,827 You know if my cousin Stephanie eats a walnut, 46 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,811 her throat shuts up faster than a Filipino at a... 47 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,646 - Guys! Come on. Not okay. 48 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,566 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Rossitano, no unauthorized food. 49 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,568 - Don't worry, no food in here, Kenneth. 50 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,487 Just a doughnut box with a mouse in it. 51 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,781 - Oh, are the pranksmen going after Lutz again? 52 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:55,449 - Someone say my name? 53 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,452 - Hey, look. - Awesome! Doughnuts! 54 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,455 Aah! Aah! 55 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:05,417 Oh! 56 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:16,595 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:26,855 - Hey, we've narrowed it down, Liz Lemon. 58 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:27,856 - Oh, great. What are we talking about? 59 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,858 - Tracy has to get a present for his wife. 60 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,444 - This Saturday is the 20th anniversary 61 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,838 of the night that me and Angie met. 62 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,782 She was working at the Dyker heights Arthur Treacher's, 63 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:37,616 and I was residing there. 64 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,494 She slipped me a free shrimp combo, 65 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,146 and we've been together ever since. 66 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,081 So this present has to be special. 67 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,333 It's either gonna be a denim jacket 68 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,043 that says "hot bitch" in diamonds... 69 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,504 - Uh-huh. - Or a slanket. 70 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,632 - Yeah, Angie doesn't want that. 71 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,759 Why don't you just ask Angie what she wants 72 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,731 instead of spending all this money on junk? 73 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,471 - You are wise, Liz Lemon. 74 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,640 Like a genetically manipulated shark. 75 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,266 So as a token of my gratitude, 76 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:07,270 I got something specially for you. 77 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:08,897 - Wow. 78 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,110 I'll take that slanket too if you're not gonna use it. 79 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:13,694 - Puerto rican! 80 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,404 - That's interesting. 81 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,448 - I mean puerto rico, where you're supposed to be. 82 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,116 When did you get back? 83 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,493 - Actually, Lemon, three weeks ago. 84 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,161 - What? Why doesn't Jack know that? 85 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,681 - Because I don't know what to do. 86 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,015 I'm afraid he's gonna want to go through 87 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,582 with his proposings of marriage. 88 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,252 Sorry, I haven't spoken English in two menses. 89 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,213 - Are you saying that you don't want to go through 90 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,340 with his proposings of marriage? 91 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,384 I don't understand, Elisa. You love him. 92 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,844 - I do. 93 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,388 That's why I call him "El uno." - Yeah. 94 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,517 - But I cannot marry him because of a terrible secret. 95 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,435 Please don't ask me what it is. 96 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,187 - I won't. I don't want to know. 97 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,188 Are you a man? 98 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,191 - Really? That's your guess, a man? 99 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,360 You want to see me naked? - Sort of. 100 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:59,531 - I love Jack so much. 101 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,533 I don't think I have the strength 102 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,492 to tell it to his head. 103 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,619 That's why I was hoping that you... 104 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,911 - Oh, no, no, no! 105 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,790 - Oh, thank you for doing what I cannot. 106 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,794 Good-bye forever, Liz Lemon. 107 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,259 Well, I see why he likes it. 108 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,679 - I hope you guys have learned a lesson. 109 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:27,434 Because of what you did, we almost lost a monitor. 110 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,605 I'm sorry. 111 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,690 You're a big fan of mine, and you're not gay? 112 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:34,691 Not even bi-curious? 113 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,169 - I don't know what to tell you. 114 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,861 I love your show. I read your blog. 115 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,237 I've got all your albums. 116 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,155 Even the one you did with Phil spector. 117 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,841 - I still think that would have sold much better 118 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,065 if he had shot me in the face. 119 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,202 - Well, I'm glad you didn't get shot in the face. 120 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,621 - Thank you. - But if you had... 121 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,140 I would have liked to have gotten that call. 122 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,874 - That would have been nice. 123 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,919 - Jenna, US Weekly is calling to confirm a story 124 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,172 that your animal rescue shelter is supplying quesadilla meat 125 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,464 to amusement parks. 126 00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,925 - What?! I need to call my lawyer. 127 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,428 I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. 128 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,720 - Dude, we gotta go, man. 129 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,264 I stole some pens. 130 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,267 - Mr. Lutz, this is my telephone number. 131 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,395 Please give it to Jenna Maroney. 132 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,649 You okay? Good. 133 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,243 - Hey, Jack. Do you have a sec? 134 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,454 - It's over, Lemon. It's over before it started. 135 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,164 Drink with me. 136 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,696 - I'm sorry, but I'm glad it didn't have to come from me. 137 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,103 - What are you talking about? - What are you talking about? 138 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,129 - Wig-go.com, 139 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,715 Sheinhardt wigs' user-generated video content site. 140 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,052 All anybody posted on it were penises. 141 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,655 What did you want to talk to me about? 142 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,557 - Hey, Jack! Right, okay. 143 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,369 I have been trying to figure out how to 144 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,726 not tell you this. 145 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,479 - Mi amor. - Querida. 146 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,439 - I'm back. Let's get married. 147 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,531 - I'll call plunder and have them hold a table 148 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,735 so we can celebrate in style. 149 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,697 And carbo-load for the reunion sex. 150 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,074 - Lemon, isn't it wonderful?! 151 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,718 Don't dare say anything 152 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,286 about what I told you about my secret. 153 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,371 - I'm not going to because you have to. 154 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:21,131 - ♪ Baby cried the day the circus came to town ♪ 155 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,591 - Uh, you okay? 156 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,803 - Oh, I didn't see you there. I'm fine. 157 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:32,225 ♪ Don't cry out loud ♪ 158 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,120 - You sure you don't want to talk about something? 159 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,396 - Well, it's kinda none of your business, 160 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:37,814 but all right. 161 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,442 I met this cute paramedic yesterday. 162 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,361 He thinks I'm incredible. We're perfect for each other. 163 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,131 But he left before I could get his name. 164 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,549 - Well, I'm sure there's a way to find out. 165 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,573 - I called 911. 166 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,011 They wouldn't even connect me to their celebrity service. 167 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,119 I don't know what to do. 168 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,971 - Huh, you know, your dilemma reminds me 169 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,289 of a book I read once. 170 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,916 - Ugh, see you later, Pete. 171 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,560 - No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. 172 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,103 There's this question psychiatrists use 173 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,128 to identify sociopaths. 174 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,464 A woman goes to her mother's funeral, 175 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,091 where she meets the perfect man. It's love at first sight. 176 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,552 But he leaves before she finds out who he is. 177 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,555 So what does she do to see him again? 178 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,099 - She kills her father, hoping that the guy will come 179 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,391 to that funeral too. 180 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,020 - That's correct. Oh, boy. 181 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,312 - Thanks for the advice. 182 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:19,843 - No, no, no, that wasn't advice. 183 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,167 - But of course, she'd also have to kill 184 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,544 her father's doorman and anyone else who might have seen her. 185 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,905 And you for giving her the idea in the first place. 186 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,250 - Liz Lemon, you dummy! 187 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,752 - I'm wearing it as a joke. 188 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,296 - I asked Angie what she wanted for our anniversary, 189 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,548 and she wants me to get a tattoo of her name. 190 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,080 - Well, okay. You like tattoos. 191 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,761 - And above it she wants this picture of her face. 192 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,680 I can't have this on my chest 193 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,572 scaring off beautiful women in the clubs. 194 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,723 - Tracy... 195 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,518 - You know I like to socialize, Liz Lemon. 196 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,437 And you know my signature move with the ladies is 197 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,040 - taking off your shirt. - Taking off my shirt 198 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:05,402 ♪ ♪ 199 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,153 Now it's a Sophie's choice. 200 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,949 I can't get this tattoo, and I can't tell Angie no. 201 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,641 - What do you want me to say, Tracy? 202 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,637 I'm sorry I made it harder for you to cheat on your wife? 203 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,912 - That's a start, Liz Lemon. 204 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,790 That's a start. 205 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,689 - Strawberries! 206 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,817 My real name is dick Whitman. 207 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:50,030 - Oh, someone call the cute guy at 911! 208 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,074 - Lemon, I need to ask you something about Elisa. 209 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,410 Did she say anything to you, anything at all, 210 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,328 about a secret... 211 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,581 Desire to keep her maiden name? 212 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,791 - Oh, no. Sorry. 213 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,335 - Because I'd like her to be Elisa Donaghy, 214 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,022 but if she wants to be Elisa Padriera-Donaghy, then... 215 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,089 - Elisa Padriera? 216 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,008 La viuda negra! 217 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,219 - What? What does that mean? 218 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,511 - The black widow. 219 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,879 - Elisa has a terrible secret. 220 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,450 My current theory is she's the mother 221 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,268 of those Michael Jackson kids. 222 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,706 - Okay, I searched Elisa Padriera and the black widow, 223 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,356 but all the web sites are in Spanish. 224 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,358 Blue writing on green. Why?! 225 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,890 - Call that cleaning lady back. 226 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,361 We need somebody who speaks Spanish. 227 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,653 - I speak Spanish. 228 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:32,840 - Puerto rican! - La viuda negra! 229 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:33,864 - Really, Lemon? 230 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,785 Jack, let me explain. 231 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,787 - Elisa, there is nothing you can say 232 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,359 that will change the way I feel. 233 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,500 - I'm so sorry to tell you such a dark tale 234 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,252 while wearing such a silly t-shirt. 235 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:51,174 I was married once, and I killed my husband. 236 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,218 It was a crime of passion. 237 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,303 He cheated on me. 238 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,472 And in a rage I took my revenge. 239 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,474 You know me, Jack. 240 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,766 I'm a catholic. 241 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,228 I take the bonds of marriage very seriously. 242 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,896 - Why aren't you in jail? 243 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,856 - They threw my case out. 244 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,566 I couldn't get an impartial jury 245 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,485 after that song about me came out. 246 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,654 - ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 247 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,946 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 248 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,197 ♪ Elisa ♪ 249 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,243 - I guess I'm glad you know. 250 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,246 I understand if this changes everything. 251 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,915 It's up to you. 252 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,338 My god, 253 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,298 I already put my wedding announcement 254 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,552 in cigar aficionado. 255 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,387 - How about this? 256 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,723 You get the tattoo, but when you hit the clubs, 257 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,560 you draw a mane around the face with a marker 258 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,438 and make it look like a lion named "tangiers." 259 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,150 - Dotcom, that is a great idea! 260 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,528 If you want everyone to think I own a gay lion! 261 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,821 Tangiers?! 262 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,257 - No judgment in brainstorming. 263 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,325 - Look, this is my reputation we're talking about here! 264 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,536 Use your heads! 265 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,498 - The Moroccan national soccer team is the lions. 266 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,790 Tangiers is in Morocco. 267 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,544 So, yeah, I guess i'm an idiot. 268 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,338 - Have you ever met anyone 269 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,257 that's killed somebody? 270 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,801 I think my grandpa may have. 271 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,487 But he never really liked to talk about 272 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,637 what happened at Kent state. 273 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,181 - I still want to marry Elisa. 274 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,142 - Wow, you do? Really? 275 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,311 - So she had one bad day. 276 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,803 Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. 277 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,858 I mean, somewhere right now, a guy is on a jdate 278 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,750 with Monica Lewinsky... Nobody's perfect. 279 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,320 - Jack... - I'm 50. 280 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:39,532 To put it in perspective, that's like 32 for ladies. 281 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,384 How many more Elisas am I going to meet? 282 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,328 - Okay, well, god bless. 283 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,122 I guess I just really don't understand men. 284 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,208 - Nobody ever said you did, Lemon. 285 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,461 - Pardon me. Excuse me. 286 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,422 I'm sorry, what are you two doing here? 287 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,466 Where's the hot guy? 288 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:57,818 - Ma'am, are you taking any medication? 289 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:58,842 - Yes. 290 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,279 Where's the cute paramedic who was here last night? 291 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,223 He was wearing a uniform. He was totally into me. 292 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,491 - If he was here at night, he must work the evening shift. 293 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,851 - So there are different shifts? 294 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,145 Like on a Sheik's pleasure yacht. 295 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,437 Thank you. 296 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,358 - Lemon. 297 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,410 - It's not product placement. I just like it. 298 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,443 - What? - What? 299 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:20,281 - What if I marry Elisa and I accidentally cheat? 300 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,241 She could snap again. 301 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,532 She's very passionate, 302 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,368 and she doesn't react well to betrayal. 303 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:28,206 - Why won't you open?! 304 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,624 - Yes. What a quandary. 305 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,210 Oh, wait, I have a suggestion... don't cheat. 306 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,127 - But you never know, Lemon. 307 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,713 What if I find myself stranded in a snow cave 308 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,216 with a stern but comely lady geologist, 309 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,693 both of us knowing that our only chance for survival 310 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,344 is the heat from our naked bodies? 311 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,222 - Sorry, I just do not get you guys. 312 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:45,914 - Again, that is not being disputed. 313 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,352 But my options for male advice around here are limited. 314 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,497 - So I think the pranksmen should all wear fedoras. 315 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,201 - Could the hats have feathers? - Yes! Yes! 316 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,359 - Face it, you are the closest thing to a man 317 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:57,651 working here right now. 318 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,113 Well, dude, 319 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,005 I guess you gotta find a comely geologist 320 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,325 and a snow cave and see what happens. 321 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,657 - Tracy, I need your help. 322 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,121 My fiancee murdered her ex-husband 323 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:08,997 when he cheated on her. 324 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,289 - Continue. 325 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,874 - I love her. 326 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,502 But the only way I can make sure that I won't stray... 327 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,588 - Is for me to arrange a test of erotic temptation. 328 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,507 Yes. - Exactly. 329 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,385 - We're going out tonight, Jackie D, 330 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:26,347 and you're gonna be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. 331 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,309 Jesus is my stereo guy, and the wilderness is a club 332 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,270 I took him to once. 333 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,564 - Jenna, come quick. Kenneth's passed out again. 334 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:40,236 Oh, no, I can't believe this is happening during night shift! 335 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,616 - Oh, for god sakes! What is this, third watch? 336 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,618 - Somehow Kenneth ate strawberries again, 337 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,710 and now he's gone into acute strawberry shock. 338 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:50,538 - Is that a thing? 339 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,457 - Just ask this real EMT. 340 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,059 - We're gonna have to cut off his hands 341 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,083 to get the sickness out. 342 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,187 He's gonna have to learn how to urinate with his feet. 343 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,355 - How could this have happened again?! 344 00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,756 - It's my fault. I did it. 345 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,799 I just wanted that hot EMT to come back. 346 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,491 I didn't mean for it to go this far. 347 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:07,305 Kenneth, I'm so sorry. But I am not a monster. 348 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,767 I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy she poisoned 349 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:14,228 so this other boy would go to town on her. 350 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,481 - I think she's had enough, sirs. 351 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,274 - Aw, Kenneth! - What's happening? 352 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,650 Is this a trick? I knew it! 353 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,046 I was just playing along. No, seriously, what's happening? 354 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,405 - Jenna, do you feel genuine remorse? 355 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,823 Thank god. 356 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,035 Sociopath downgraded to extreme narcissist. 357 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,807 Now quit it with the strawberry stuff. 358 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,623 - Or you might once again feel the righteous lash 359 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,834 of the pranksmen. 360 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,795 - Is that a thing? 361 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,840 - Hey, tray. 362 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,443 You and your friend wanna party later? 363 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,387 - Sure thing, baby. 364 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,138 Give the kid a call. 365 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,849 Holla. - This is decadent. 366 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,477 And I once went to Miami with Darryl strawberry. 367 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,687 - Tip of the iceberg, Jackie D. 368 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,856 You can have all of this whenever you want. 369 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,652 Or you can marry that nice lady that you're in love with. 370 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:03,611 It's up to you. 371 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,906 - Look, I love Elisa. But you love Angie, right? 372 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,658 - Of course I do. Angie's the one. 373 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,743 - The one? Where did you hear that? 374 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,788 - It's a thing I made up after seeing the ma Trix. 375 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,249 - Well, Elisa is my one. 376 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,501 But Tracy, sometimes I think men like us 377 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,546 aren't built for marriage. 378 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:25,633 - Okay, this is something I've never told anyone. 379 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,510 This is my terrible secret. 380 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,847 In the 20 years that I've known her... 381 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,807 I've never cheated on my wife. 382 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,309 There. I said it. 383 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,687 Don't look at me. 384 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:41,482 - Wait a minute. That can't be the truth. 385 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,443 - The partying is just for show. 386 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,404 And because I'm a high-functioning alcoholic. 387 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,006 All the phone numbers you see me hand out, 388 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,323 they're not even mine. 389 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,495 - Hello? 390 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,790 No, this isn't Tracy Jordan. 391 00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,750 Really? 392 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,211 I've not heard of that term before. 393 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,840 Do you know how to get to Connecticut? 394 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,385 - Oh, my god. That's an inspiration. 395 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,512 I mean, if you can do it... - So can you. 396 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,515 Because I'm a ridiculous, unstable human being. 397 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,392 - What is wrong with me? 398 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,520 I mean, if Elisa's only flaw is that she demands I be faithful, 399 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,355 then I will be faithful! 400 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,608 - And if Angie wants me to get a tattoo of her 401 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,740 to prove my love, then I'm getting that tattoo! 402 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,529 Grizz, get the car. Dotcom, get the coats. 403 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,901 And which one of you ladies wants to pick up the tab? 404 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:32,700 Oh, me! Me! 405 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,412 - I put strawberry juice in your chickpeas. 406 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,706 And in your water. 407 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,792 And on your harmonica. - My what? 408 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,753 Oh, you mean my mouth radio? 409 00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,505 - I am so sorry, Kenneth. 410 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,816 I just want you to know that I would not do this to you 411 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,258 for just any guy. 412 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,551 He was special. 413 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,471 I really thought that he was... the one. 414 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,473 - Oh, miss Maroney, it's horrible to think 415 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,885 you might have found your true love, only to lose him. 416 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,144 - It hurts more than my foot Botox 417 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:05,441 to know that he's out there, and I have no way to find him. 418 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,195 - When you call 911, 419 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,532 tell them they have to send everyone. 420 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,495 Earn... this! 421 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,581 - Oh... 422 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,793 You remarkable son of a bitch! 423 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,506 We have an emergency! 424 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:32,301 - ♪ Workin' on my night cheese ♪ 425 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,351 - Oh... Jack? 426 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,770 Do you know what time it is? I was sound asleep. 427 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,523 - I heard you singing "night cheese." 428 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,149 Lemon, I've had a crazy night. 429 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,485 We all can learn a lot from Tracy Jordan. 430 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,777 We went out clubbing. 431 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,197 His life is like enron, 1999. 432 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,491 It's wild. - I'm sure it was. 433 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:59,203 - How are you so quiet when your parades are so loud? 434 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,330 - You were supposed to be thinking about us. 435 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:05,585 And you spent the whole night partying with that black guy! 436 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,295 - Did she not come here with you? 437 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,838 - Have you been following me? 438 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:12,216 - And then you come here at 4:00 in the morning?! 439 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,177 I knew your relationship was too weird 440 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,469 not to be sexual! 441 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,388 - Okay, everybody be cool. 442 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,266 - Wait a minute, you're jealous of Lemon? 443 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,393 That's insane. - Yeah, come on, look at me. 444 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:23,227 - Ooh. 445 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,187 - Elisa, I proved to myself tonight 446 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,540 that I would never cheat on you. 447 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:27,833 That's why I went out with Tracy. 448 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,233 And I came to Liz's because... 449 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,402 - Because she's your bro. - Exactly. 450 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:32,403 - Oh... 451 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,863 - Elisa, this is troubling. 452 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,157 - And how do you think I feel? 453 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,409 I get a ring on my finger for one day 454 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,578 and I start acting like Glenn close 455 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,870 in atraccion fatal. 456 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,841 - Oh, that has a whole different title here. 457 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,583 - Lemon, isn't there a slanket somewhere 458 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,252 you should be filling with your farts? 459 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,379 Shoo. 460 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,757 Baby, this is my curse. 461 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,425 I love too deeply. 462 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,846 And eventually it makes me loco for choco-puffs. 463 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:02,558 - Querida, if you ever find yourself 464 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,187 less in love with me, I hope you'll give me a call. 465 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,998 But if tonight is what it's going to be like, 466 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,816 obviously, engagement-wise, 467 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,110 we are not going to forge ahead. 468 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,487 - Is it my English, 469 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,114 or was that not a great breaking-up speech? 470 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:21,535 - It was your English. That was quite moving. 471 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,512 - Boy, you look happy. 472 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:40,471 What, did you settle that lawsuit 473 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,764 over your exercise tape? 474 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:42,640 - Even better. 475 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,308 I had an amazing date last night. 476 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,851 And it's all thanks to Kenneth. 477 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,478 - Oh, it was nothing. 478 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,605 Sure, I was legally dead for five minutes, 479 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:50,977 but I did it for true love. 480 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,609 - Actually, it turns out Roger has sole custody 481 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,904 of his five-year-old son, so pffft! 482 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,531 - Wait a minute, you were dead? 483 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,491 - Oh, I'm fine. 484 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:04,787 But I think I brought something back with me. 485 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,461 - Tracy, did you even go home last night? 486 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:13,753 And where is your shirt? 487 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,632 - No, and at large. 488 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:17,383 I might've went out and had a little 489 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,385 too much to drink last night, 490 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,846 but you'll be proud of me, Liz Lemon Cool J. 491 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,390 'Cause I went out and got that tattoo 492 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,434 Angie wanted me to get. 493 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,394 Pow! 494 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,604 How you like me now? 495 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,111 - Wow, that is one gay lion. 496 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:39,863 - ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 497 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,532 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 498 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:42,908 ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 499 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,077 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 500 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,704 ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 501 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,372 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 502 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,207 ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 503 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,584 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 504 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,712 ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 505 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,589 ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ 506 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,674 ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ 507 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,551 ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 508 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,511 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 509 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,888 ♪ Elisa, Elisa ♪ 510 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,556 ♪ la viuda negra ♪ 511 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,809 ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 512 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,936 ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪