1 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,007 - Okay. 2 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:09,051 Now, you're all here because you've been 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,470 suspended from work for sexual harassment. 4 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,847 But through this seminar, 5 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,700 you will learn the skills to keep you from making 6 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,684 the same kinds of mistakes that got you here. 7 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,686 - Excuse me, Mr. Winerslav... 8 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,438 - It's pronounced "weener-slave." 9 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,273 - Okay, Jeffrey. 10 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,543 Is there anything I can do to speed this process up 11 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,669 so I can just get back to work? 12 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,694 - I'm afraid not. 13 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,739 But someone who's in a rush to get back to work? 14 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,631 That's somethin' you don't see every day. 15 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,701 Now, that is an example 16 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,453 of a very appropriate 17 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,289 and very, very funny joke. 18 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,256 - Jenna, I need to speak with you. 19 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,424 - Jack, I did not hit that Asian page. 20 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,985 I was just swinging my arm and she walked into me. 21 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,009 Twice. 22 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:52,761 - Jenna, it's not about that. 23 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:53,679 It's about your 24 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,098 Sheinhardt-universal Janis joplin biopic. 25 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,475 - Wait. We can call her Janis joplin? 26 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,060 We got the life rights? 27 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:01,538 It's not Janie Jimplin anymore? 28 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,772 - Apparently, neither name cleared. 29 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,458 It looks like your character's going to be called 30 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,650 Jackie Jormp-Jomp. 31 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:09,111 - Oh, okay. So what's the good news? 32 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,421 - I didn't say there was any. 33 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,739 Sheinhardt-universal did some focus testing this week. 34 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,700 - We got 100? 35 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,302 - You're holding that upside-down. 36 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,326 - Oh, no. 37 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,996 - Yes. I was afraid of this. 38 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,431 It turns out not having the life rights 39 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,083 or any Janis joplin songs was a negative for audiences. 40 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,728 - But what about my duet with jimi hendrickson at woodstocks? 41 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,589 ♪ We're all here at woodstocks ♪ 42 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,216 ♪ someday there will be a black president ♪ 43 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,218 - Uh, Jenna, Sheinhardt-universal 44 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,821 does not wanna release the picture. 45 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,565 - And how will that affect my Oscar chances? 46 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,931 Adversely. 47 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,142 Unless we get independent distribution. 48 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,911 To do that, "sing dem blues, white girl:" 49 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,438 "The Jackie Jormp-Jomp story" has gotta get some buzz. 50 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,040 I'm gonna need your help for that. 51 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,384 - Do you need a sex tape released? 52 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,191 'Cause I got a weird one. 53 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,192 It's night vision 54 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,361 and you can see that his buddy is robbing me. 55 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,406 - No, Jenna, I want you on the PR warpath. 56 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:55,967 If there's a red carpet, I want you on it talking up the movie 57 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,701 starting Monday. 58 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:58,702 - The kids' choice awards? 59 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,329 Fine. 60 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,748 I'll set aside my feud with Raven Simone for one day. 61 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,499 But she knows what she did. 62 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:15,552 ♪ ♪ 63 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,986 - Miss Lemon, you aren't supposed to be here. 64 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,989 You're on s-e-x probation. 65 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:40,577 - Yeah, I know, I just wanted to stop by and check in. 66 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,829 Kenneth, stop. 67 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,390 I just want a script or a rundown, okay? 68 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,291 Put that down. 69 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,044 You give that to me, Kenneth. Did you hear what I said? 70 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,424 Mr. Donaghy, help! Rule breaking! 71 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,510 - This is sad. 72 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,554 Lemon, come with me. 73 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,430 Lemon, you know you're supposed to 74 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,474 go home after your pervert seminars. 75 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,936 - I'm going. I just hate not being here. 76 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,479 - You have to rehearse! 77 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:08,438 - No! 78 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,023 Passive resistance! 79 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,318 I learned that from Dr. King! I'm brave! 80 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,319 - You sure you miss this? 81 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,278 - Yes. 82 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,280 As crazy and stressful as this place is, 83 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,699 not being here is worse. 84 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:19,990 - I feel for you. 85 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,553 Remember that time I came back from the world economic forum 86 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,888 with mono and missed a week of work 87 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,192 and I wanted to pull my hair out 88 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:25,872 but I couldn't because it's too thick? 89 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,624 People like us, we need the stress. 90 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,043 We're only happy when we're overcoming obstacles. 91 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,002 You take that away, 92 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,671 we start bouncing off the walls, 93 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,357 spend our days jabbering at doormen. 94 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:38,635 - Hey, I brighten their day. 95 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,905 Before I go, can I at least find out what Frank's hat says? 96 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,055 - "Constant craving." 97 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,347 - He could do better. 98 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,182 - Has anyone looked at this 99 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,476 sexual harassment stuff they gave us? 100 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,477 - I don't need to read it. 101 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:48,913 The whole thing is loosely based 102 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,732 on a evening I spent with Isiah Thomas. 103 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:52,733 - No wonder Liz got busted. 104 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,443 According to this, 105 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,154 you can't do anything without it being considered harassment. 106 00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:01,032 Did you know you have to report in-office relationships? 107 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,552 - Is that true? - It's the first thing listed. 108 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,327 Have you read this? 109 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,164 - Well, I wanted to, because it's full of rules, 110 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,040 but Ms. Vieira made me throw it away. 111 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,932 And said pretty boys like me shouldn't be 112 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,199 filling their heads with ideas. 113 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,254 - Uh-oh. - Hi, Frank. 114 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,174 - Hello. Coworker. 115 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,177 - Oh. 116 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,053 Ms. Vieira... 117 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,585 - Of course my job is annoying, 118 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,265 but that doesn't mean I don't love it. 119 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,184 I'm sure your job can be annoying. 120 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,311 Not all the tenants are as fun as me. 121 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,687 I get it. 122 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:34,399 Hey, would you mind if I brought a chair down here? 123 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,568 Yes, my job is stressful. Very stressful. 124 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:40,280 But in the end, I get paid to make people laugh. 125 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:43,366 We have a saying that laughter is the best medicine, 126 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,203 so I'm kind of like a doctor here. 127 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,288 Like you were, in Poland. 128 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,166 We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. 129 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,778 Not even the time I had that virus 130 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,295 they kept saying only raccoons get. 131 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:59,216 I can't believe I'm not there. 132 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,789 Hey, I've... uh, I've picked up some Polish from you guys. 133 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,574 It's kinda cold out for a jog. 134 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,100 - Oh, I'm just going downstairs to the fitness center. 135 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,672 - What? This building has a gym? 136 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,188 - Yeah, it's the door right next to the vending machines. 137 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,148 - Vending machines? What kind? 138 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,234 - I don't know, sorry. 139 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,986 I'm Emily. Are you new to the building? 140 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,240 - No, I'm Liz. I've lived here for four years. 141 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,242 I usually work crazy, long hours, 142 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,453 but I'm on leave right now for normal reasons. 143 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,105 - And you're feeling a little lost. 144 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,372 - I am. 145 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,500 Right now, I should be standing in a toilet stall 146 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,669 so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch. 147 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,046 God, I miss it. 148 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,899 - I was an investment banker for 15 years. 149 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,007 80-hour workweeks, 150 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,927 corner office, secret candy drawer... 151 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,364 - And a decoy candy drawer to throw others off the trail? 152 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,097 - Smart. 153 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:51,142 The point is you get addicted to the stress. 154 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,578 Think it gives your life purpose. 155 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,603 And then when you stop... 156 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,230 - For normal reasons... 157 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,274 - You see how stupid you were. 158 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,734 It just takes time to realize 159 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:04,155 there are much better ways to be happy. 160 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,284 - Wait for me... lady. 161 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,662 - Kenneth, what can I do for ya? 162 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,497 - Well, sir, I recently learned 163 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,469 that company policy requires that employees 164 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,127 disclose their relationships with their coworkers 165 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,044 to their immediate supervisor. 166 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,589 - I am not your immediate supervisor. 167 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:24,175 There are perhaps 40 people between us. 168 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,467 Pete, for instance. 169 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,430 - Oh, I just don't trust Mr. Hornberger, sir. 170 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,432 He has a Ridge on the section of the skull 171 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,100 associated with deviousness. 172 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,519 - Okay. So there's a girl. 173 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:35,812 - Yes, sir. 174 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,691 Her name is Daphne. She's one of the TGS dancers. 175 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,652 And when I watch her dance, my heart skips a beat. 176 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,654 And not because of my acute ventralitis. 177 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,449 - Wait. 178 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,243 You're dating one of the dancers? 179 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,535 - Oh, no, sir. 180 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,496 I actually haven't spoken to her yet, 181 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,498 but I have a long-term plan to marry her, 182 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,168 and I wanted the company to be aware of my intentions. 183 00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,460 - I see. 184 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,439 I'll be sure to mention that at the next board meeting. 185 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,214 - Thank you, sir. 186 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,549 Oh, also, 187 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,201 I don't know if this is harassment, 188 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,510 but someone at The Today Show 189 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,348 made me eat an unripe banana in front of her. 190 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:15,894 - Hey, Ken. 191 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,521 Do you know who our immediate supervisor is? 192 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,693 - I will not be able to attend your wedding. 193 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,529 Because of a prior conflict. 194 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,956 - Oh, what's the special occasion? 195 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,247 - Weekday. 196 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,583 All: 197 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,875 - Wow, so this is normal? 198 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,504 This is, like, your version of sweatpants and pop-tarts? 199 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,796 Not too shabs. 200 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,049 - Short for shabby. Hilarious. 201 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,360 - This could be your life too, Liz. 202 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,719 Just short the housing market. 203 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,180 - Or write a cookbook specifically 204 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,472 for mixed-race children. 205 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,307 Or marry a rich, old dude who dies. 206 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,267 Clive, I wanna say? 207 00:07:56,559 --> 00:08:00,021 - Or have mild lupus and great insurance. 208 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,648 - So, here is the plan for today. 209 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,260 Start with facials and massages... 210 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,316 - Yes, please. - Fabulous. 211 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,670 - Then private shopping at Bergdorf, 212 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,294 swing by the dermatologist for a tune-up. 213 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,404 - Fabulous. 214 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,656 - Dinner at Jewel bako, 215 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,366 then a nightcap back here. 216 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,076 - Oh... - Wow, that is a plan. 217 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,121 But, uh, I don't think I should go. 218 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,373 - Oh, Liz is still stressed about her old job. 219 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,665 All: Oh. 220 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,084 - It's just... 221 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,962 It's Friday, and at my job that is our biggest day. 222 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,588 I don't think I'd be good company. 223 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,591 But thank you for inviting me. I'll have one drink here. 224 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,969 - Have two. 225 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,621 - But then I really should go home, 226 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,448 'cause I, you know... I'm still in work mode, 227 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,100 I'm not really in spa/shopping mode. 228 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,392 - Oh, get ready. 229 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,228 - I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself. 230 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,648 And I don't wanna crash your day together and ruin it. 231 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,380 - We're always together. - Thank you. 232 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,693 - Cocktails. - Mmm. 233 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,029 It's just so stressful thinking about my employees 234 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,072 trying to do everything without me. 235 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,407 - Those look great on you. 236 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,201 - Then I'm buying them. 237 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,513 I guess I'm just one of those people that needs work. 238 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,580 You know, I thrive there. 239 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,206 I... 240 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,658 And it's gone just like that? 241 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,627 - Just like that. - Thank you, Dr. Binderman. 242 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,922 My point is, you are so sweet to include me. 243 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:13,053 Believe me, I'm jealous, but today's just not the day. 244 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,639 So, you know, I'll hang out with you guys for a little bit, 245 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,475 and I'll have my one drink, and... 246 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,476 What time is it? 247 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,977 - Almost midnight. 248 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,189 If we're gonna get up in time for our mani/pedis, 249 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,271 we really should turn in. 250 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,940 - Bye. 251 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:32,322 - I forgot to watch my show. 252 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,093 - I'm prepared to do a nipple slip if you need it. 253 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,237 - Just talk about the movie. 254 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,812 - Hi, I'm Ethan from Nick magazine. 255 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,163 Whose mom are you? 256 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,164 - Thank you. 257 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,496 Well, tonight's about fun. 258 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:43,893 I'm wearing Taylor Dayne for express, 259 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,668 - and my peace sign, of course, 260 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,461 is a nod to Janis joplin, who, I'm so... 261 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,993 - Dora the explorer's backpack! 262 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,923 Backpack, is map in you tonight? 263 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:53,176 Crowd: 264 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,429 - Here are your lunches, gentlemen. 265 00:09:56,721 --> 00:10:01,017 Dotcom, I forgot to get you extra mustard. 266 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,063 - All right, enough! 267 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,815 This fighting stops now! 268 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,233 - I am sorry. 269 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,152 Mr. Slattery hurt me, and now I'm hurting him. 270 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,445 He'll never get mustard. 271 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,240 Except for the mustard that comes with the sandwich. 272 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,200 - I said I was sorry, Ken. 273 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,201 I didn't even mean to hurt you. 274 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,912 - Oh, really? I love you too, Dotcom. 275 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,204 - I didn't say... 276 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,165 - I knew this would happen someday. 277 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,292 A woman would come between us. 278 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,669 Well, I'm not standing by. 279 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,295 I'm taking action. 280 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,965 - Oh, sir, before miss Lemon left, I promised her 281 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,817 I wouldn't let you start any adventures. 282 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,136 - Yeah, well, Liz Lemon's in jail now. 283 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:41,432 And somebody has to step up and take charge around here. 284 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,270 Let the problem solving begin. 285 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,647 Are you Daphne? 286 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,357 Yeah, you're fired. 287 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,276 - First a backpack upstages me, 288 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,486 then the paparazzi kept calling me Dina Lohan, 289 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,530 and now the Cyrus family has decided 290 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,364 to rock a bunch of funky hats. 291 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,656 - You can't give up now. 292 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,450 Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up 293 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,302 when those vampires attacked woodstocks? 294 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,571 - Nobody even knows I'm here. 295 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,582 - From Dreamworks's upcoming feature film 296 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,793 on top of spaghetti, Helen Mirren. 297 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,628 Good evening. 298 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,298 And now we take a moment... 299 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,595 - Oh, that's horrible. 300 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,514 - You got me. 301 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,725 And now we take a moment to remember 302 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,518 those we lost this year 303 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,479 in the kid entertainment industry. 304 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,618 - Was that me? 305 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,286 Did they just say I'm dead? 306 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,597 I thought you spoke to the producers. 307 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,623 - Look, Connor, if we don't get some traction, 308 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,291 Jenna Maroney's picture's dead. 309 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,292 We need your help. 310 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,377 - Maroney. Picture. Dead. Got it. 311 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,546 - This is a disaster. 312 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,673 No, no. 313 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,634 We hit the jackpot. 314 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:03,806 You being dead is the best thing 315 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,242 that ever happened to this movie. 316 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,266 Jenna. 317 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,852 I wanna Tupac you. 318 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,424 - Fine. But I have to pee first. 319 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,773 - No. No, no, no, Tupac Shakur, the rapper. 320 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,483 He sold ten times more albums 321 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,335 when he was dead than when he was alive. 322 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,754 That's what we're going to do with this movie. 323 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,530 - Die young, become a legend. Just like Janis. 324 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,574 Or rusty, the bear from The Magicals. 325 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,494 - Yes. Now... 326 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,996 You just need to stay dead while I sell the movie. 327 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,288 - Oh, I can play dead. 328 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:33,002 I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear. 329 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,444 - Congratulations, miss Lemon. 330 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,096 You've completed your sensitivity training. 331 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:47,183 Your suspension is up, and here is your certificate. 332 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,520 - Wow, so I can go back to work tomorrow? 333 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:51,812 That's soon. 334 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:55,608 - Well, I know how eager you are to return to work. 335 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,068 - I guess so. 336 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,080 - But coming back to work isn't always easy. 337 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,989 Work means stress. 338 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,408 And stress can make you fall back on old behavior. 339 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,910 So tonight, 340 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,997 I want you to really think about that first day back. 341 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,041 Visualize everything that's facing you. 342 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,769 Think about walking through that door 343 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,433 and immediately dealing with 100 different 344 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,380 problems and responsibilities. 345 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:22,093 Your coworkers' demands on you, the long hours, 346 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,221 the pointless meetings and endless phone calls. 347 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,557 Think of the frustration, the futility, 348 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,143 and the time that you will never get back 349 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:33,980 as you creep closer and closer to the grave. 350 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,607 Okay. 351 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:37,899 Any questions for me? 352 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,069 - Just one. 353 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,547 Why don't you drop those dockers 354 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,614 and gimme a piece of that sweet ass? 355 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,658 What're we doing today, ladies? 356 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,076 - More of the same. 357 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,496 All: 358 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,666 - Chell-o? 359 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,313 - Lemon, what the hell happened at your reinstatement hearing? 360 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,981 Jeffrey weener-slave said you put your fingers in his mouth. 361 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,425 - Did I? Or did he put his mouth on my fingers? 362 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,094 It's gonna take at least six weeks paid leave 363 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:05,928 to get to the bottom of this. 364 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,220 - I'm very busy right now 365 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,699 faking Jenna's death to sell her movie. 366 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,641 - I'm not going to engage on that. Mantra. 367 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:11,559 - But I am calling H.R. 368 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,560 And getting you back for the next show. 369 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,063 - No, I just... I need a little more time off. 370 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,689 I'm on humanity leave. 371 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,861 - Good god, what indigo girls song is that from? 372 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,612 Syllabus of us off vagabonds, martyrs, and quilts. 373 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,491 The point is I have met the most amazing group of women, Jack. 374 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,117 They just live. 375 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,660 And they spin every morning, 376 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,496 and they go to museums. 377 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,228 - Lemon, you are not a rich divorcee. 378 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,331 - I know. 379 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,709 But I have some money saved... enough for two years. 380 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,461 Maybe four if I give up cable. 381 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,547 So I will come back to the show in four years. 382 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:42,879 - You're fooling yourself. 383 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,068 You know you can't live like that. 384 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:44,675 - Yes, I can. 385 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,386 Emily and her friends are happy. 386 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,597 - Believe me, there is no solace in their luxury. 387 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:49,846 Only deep despair. 388 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,974 - How do you know all these indigo girls songs? 389 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,560 Listen, you are wrong about Emily. 390 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,652 Oh, god, there's a spider nest in my yoga mat! 391 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,148 - Mr. Jordan. 392 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,650 Mr. Jordan, what did you do? 393 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,276 You fired Daphne? 394 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,568 - I had to. 395 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,321 Friendship and trust in the entourage 396 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,673 is the most important thing. 397 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,116 Like that HBO show. 398 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,660 John Adams. 399 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,204 - Well, me and Dotcom are back to being best friends. 400 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,664 - We were never... 401 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:15,623 - But the other dancers are refusing to come to work 402 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,500 out of solidarity with Daphne. 403 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:18,334 - Hmm. 404 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,670 Usually, this is the point in my process 405 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:24,507 when Liz Lemon steps in and takes care of everything. 406 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,009 Heavy is the head that eats the crayons. 407 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:30,680 I'm gonna take a nap. See you in ten hours. 408 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:31,639 - Kenneth. 409 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,017 Have any of the dancers come in yet today? 410 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,687 - Pete. A word. 411 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:38,979 Jenna's dead. 412 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,024 - I don't feel anything. What's wrong with me? 413 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,026 - No, no, it's a marketing ploy. 414 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,528 For her new movie. 415 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,989 But it means you won't have her for the show on Friday. 416 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,033 And you need to put together some sort of on-air tribute. 417 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,703 - We actually already have an obituary reel for Jenna. 418 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,973 We put it together after she cheated on that mobster. 419 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,207 - That's good. 420 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:02,003 - Oh, eating right, working out, sleeping... 421 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,464 Boy, is anybody else BM-ing like a rock star? 422 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:05,755 All: Mm-hmm. 423 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,008 - All right, all right. 424 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,820 What's the hump day schedule look like? 425 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:12,555 - Oh, it's not Wednesday, Liz, it's Thursday. 426 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,183 - I read somewhere it's Tuesday. 427 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,476 All: Oh. 428 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,060 - Mr. Jordan, it's Friday. 429 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,792 We really need to tell Mr. Hornberger 430 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,481 that the dancers quit. 431 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:24,567 - No we don't. He's not even gonna notice they're gone. 432 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,152 - Oh, my. 433 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,724 - These are the new dancers, kid. 434 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:28,613 Say hi to velvet. 435 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,990 - Hello, miss velvet. 436 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:34,327 - Just think, an hour ago they were brawling in a parking lot, 437 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,412 but tonight, they're gonna be stars. 438 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,499 Show Ken here what we worked on. 439 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,086 Oh, boy. 440 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,590 - Oh, boy, I am really starting to feel 441 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,593 the benefits of massages and yoga five days a week. 442 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,137 Check this out. 443 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,267 - Look at you. 444 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,521 Last week you were flipping out about missing work. 445 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,106 - Oh, no, that's old Liz. 446 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,400 My boss kept trying to tell me that I would 447 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,012 go crazy living a life of leisure, 448 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,445 that it's unhealthy. 449 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,489 - Well, he's actually right. 450 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,366 - No, no, he's not, Emily. 451 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,451 - No, I used to be a neurosurgeon 452 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,995 before Jasmine guy and I wrote our cookbook, 453 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,165 and the human brain needs stimulation or it atrophies. 454 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:25,503 And your pleasure center literally shrinks. 455 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,275 That's why we do our special activity. 456 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,631 To combat that. 457 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,174 - What, like, sudoku? 458 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,009 All: 459 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,303 - Uh, we did a games night for a couple of weeks. 460 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,304 Didn't last. 461 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,596 - So charity work? 462 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:40,101 - No, charity work sucks. 463 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,477 - Should we tell her? 464 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,769 - Erin, it's too soon. 465 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,438 - Punch me in the face, Liz. 466 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,440 - I'm sorry, what? 467 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,732 - You heard me. 468 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:48,526 Punch me as hard as you can, 469 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,487 and then I am coming at you like an animal. 470 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,990 - Oh, god, is this a fight club? 471 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,076 - The pain proves we're alive. 472 00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:00,079 - Oh, this is very disappointing! 473 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,372 - Come on, hit me. 474 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:02,206 Get a taste. 475 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,434 - I brought a roll of quarters to hold in my fist. 476 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,543 - Oh, god. 477 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,295 Jack was right. 478 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,171 Oh, I have to get back to my show. 479 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,506 I need the show. 480 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:11,465 - You want out, Liz? 481 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,468 You're gonna have to fight your way out. 482 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,179 - As we celebrate the life of Jenna Maroney... 483 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,366 - The coast guard won't officially declare her dead yet, 484 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,601 but what the pirates did to that boat! 485 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,269 Well, it's a very generous offer. 486 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,479 We'll be in touch. 487 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,331 Jenna, what the hell are you doing here? 488 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,625 - Shh. They're talking about me. 489 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,526 - I'm really better today. 490 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,987 - So's the laundry, thanks to cling-free. 491 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,491 - That was some of Jenna Maroney's earlier work. 492 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,494 It's hard to believe that both of those women outlived her. 493 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,080 Especially the woman on the right. 494 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,372 We'll be right back. 495 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,614 - A coupla gay guys were crying. 496 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,646 Oh, Jack, this is just the greatest night of my... 497 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,298 What the hell is that? 498 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:53,650 - Well, it's you. What's the problem? 499 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,218 - It has the year I was born on it. 500 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,429 The real year, not the actress year. 501 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,265 Now almost a million people are gonna know that I'm f... 502 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:02,558 F... 503 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,036 - It's too late to change it, Jack. 504 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,060 - Jenna, calm down. 505 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,413 I'm selling the movie in the next 12 hours. 506 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,437 Your movie. 507 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:10,066 Think about what matters here. 508 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,319 - In five, four, three... 509 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,237 - And finally tonight, 510 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,657 what more fitting way to say good-bye to our friend 511 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,159 than with the gifts she gave all of us... 512 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:21,535 Her music. 513 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,204 Ladies and gentlemen, 514 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:27,416 Itzhak Bemelmans and the Tracy Jordan dancers. 515 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,380 ♪ ♪ 516 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,132 - Gimme me a microphone. 517 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,634 ♪ Whole grain, low fat ♪ 518 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:41,430 ♪ I know you want a piece of that ♪ 519 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,475 ♪ but I just wanna dance ♪ 520 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,936 Still alive. Not yet 32. Sorry, Jack. Worth it. 521 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,563 - I'm back. 522 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,691 - What did it turn out to be? Lesbians? 523 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:55,361 - No. Fight club. 524 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,279 - ♪ I know you wanna get with this ♪ 525 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:58,155 - This is a disaster. 526 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:01,158 - ♪ But I'm just here to dance ♪ 527 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,327 - What is wrong with you two? 528 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,371 You guys mess up everything you touch, 529 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,581 and then I have to come in here and fix it. 530 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,250 I am so mad. 531 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,168 - Why are you smiling? 532 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,169 You're freaking me out. 533 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,838 - Oh, you two troublemakers. 534 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,130 Come here! 535 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,536 - She's gonna do something to us. 536 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,509 - You're crazy! 537 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,229 - I'm back, nerds. 538 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,002 - ♪ My muffin top is all that ♪ 539 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,653 ♪ whole grain, low fat ♪ 540 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,488 ♪ I know you want a piece of that ♪ 541 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,323 ♪ but I just wanna dance ♪ 542 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,242 ♪ ch-checkin' out my sweet hips ♪ 543 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,369 ♪ my sugar-coated Berry lips ♪ 544 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,930 ♪ I know you wanna get with this ♪ 545 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,664 ♪ but I'm just here to dance ♪ 546 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:52,418 ♪ so back up off of me ♪ 547 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,087 ♪ you're weirding me out ♪ 548 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:56,379 ♪ - oh, oh ♪ 549 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,007 I'm an independent lady 550 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,592 so do not try to play me 551 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,552 I run a tidy bakery 552 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,512 the boys all want my cake for free 553 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,139 but if you can't shake your fakery 554 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,516 then kiss my muffin top