1 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,255 - Whoo! - Whoo! 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,842 - Okay, guys, I just want to say congratulations 3 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,636 on our 50th show! 4 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:15,849 That's 50 hours of comedy, over 300 sketches, 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:21,939 one unsolved crew death, and an Emmy magazine cover story. 6 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,024 - Hey, and someone got us booze gifts. 7 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:25,316 - Oh, sweet. 8 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,927 - They're all empty. What the hell? 9 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,421 - Congratulations on 50 shows, everyone. 10 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,572 Enjoy your decorative air holders. 11 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:35,118 You deserve them. Lemon, a word. 12 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,789 - It's a pretty lame present, Jack. 13 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,124 - Cutbacks. Our parent company Sheinhardt wigs 14 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,696 is announcing losses this quarter 15 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,354 for the first time since the civil war. 16 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,630 And even I am not immune. 17 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,215 I had to let Jonathan go today. 18 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,841 - Oh, my god. How did he take it? 19 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,053 - Better than I expected. - ♪ can't live ♪ 20 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,889 ♪ if living is without you ♪ - okay, last verse, Jonathan. 21 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:56,848 - ♪ I can't live! ♪ 22 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,220 - I'm warning you now that the entertainment division 23 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,153 is gonna come under some very close scrutiny. 24 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,897 The days of your wild coke parties are over. 25 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,024 - Well, if by "coke," you mean "sodas"... 26 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,360 - I do. It's really bad. 27 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,195 It's so bad, the sheinhardts are hiring 28 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,567 an outside consulting firm. 29 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:12,906 - What does that mean? 30 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,518 - It means they're bringing in hatchet men to trim the fat. 31 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,659 And on Monday, you will have to present and justify 32 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,954 your budget to them. 33 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,246 Can you handle that? 34 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,665 - Handle a presentation? 35 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:24,209 Jack, I put on a live show every week 36 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,627 unless there's wrestling. 37 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,129 I'm on it. - Good. 38 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,141 I've got some more downsizing to do upstairs 39 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,696 so I've got no time for hand-holding. 40 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:31,466 Let's get this right. 41 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,158 - I've got some tricks up my sleeve. 42 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:36,179 - That's my girl. - No, Trix, the cereal. 43 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,558 Some fell in my sleeve. It's sticking to the fibers. 44 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:50,986 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,789 You wanted to see me, sir. 46 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,416 - Kenneth, as you may have heard, 47 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,585 Jonathan no longer works here. 48 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,479 - Yeah. The assistants talked about it last night 49 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,340 at Finnegan's, the bar we all go to after work... 50 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,632 In my dreams. 51 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,302 - Yes, uh, well, obviously, I'm going to need an assistant. 52 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,314 And I'm going to have to ask you to fill in. 53 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:18,876 - But what about my page duties? 54 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,408 - Oh, don't worry. I've taken care of that. 55 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,516 You'll do both jobs. 56 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,328 This is a very difficult time, Kenneth. 57 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,637 I'm gonna be counting on you. 58 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,730 You'll do fine so long as you follow my three ds: 59 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:31,151 Discretion, docility, and don't use my bathroom. 60 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,259 - Mr. Donaghy's office. This is Kenneth. 61 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,620 How may I help you? 62 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,622 It's Greg windham from aviation. 63 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:48,085 - I'm not here. - But you are here. 64 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:52,798 I can see you. - I don't want to talk to him. 65 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,426 - Oh, corporate intrigue. 66 00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,931 He's not in right now. I'll tell him you called. 67 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,663 I feel like I'm in the pelican brief! 68 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,060 Do I already know too much? 69 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,568 - Liz. Brad Halster. The Himler group. 70 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,404 A division of Advantrix Consulting. 71 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,156 - Liz Lemon. This is my associate, Peter Hornberger. 72 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,176 - Liz, is there a conference room where we can sit down 73 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,200 and get started? 74 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:26,373 - Actually, I thought we'd do this outside the box. 75 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:31,712 I'd like to tell you about three television programs. 76 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,674 A comedy show, a musical variety show, 77 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,844 and a live television event. 78 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,264 Comedy, music show, live show. 79 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:47,310 Comedy, music, live. Are you getting it? Yeah. 80 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,314 They're all the same show. They're all TGS. 81 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,774 Now I could stand here, Brad, 82 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,484 and I could bore you with numbers. 83 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,779 I could tell you that we are the number one late night show 84 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:02,325 among men 9-13 and the morbidly obese. 85 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,537 I could tell you that we're in final negotiations 86 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:08,248 to create exclusive content for america's jails. 87 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,625 But I'm not the one being judged here. 88 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:16,715 So I thought I'd let the show speak for herself. 89 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:22,429 Dessert! 90 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,390 - Someone put too many farts in this engine! 91 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,267 It's about to explode! 92 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,162 I'm flavor Obama and I'd like to introduce 93 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:33,273 the under secretary of housing and crystal meth, boy! 94 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,484 - It's the bear and robot talk show! 95 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,403 - My name is Suri Cruise. Put your hands in the air. 96 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,323 I came out of the womb with a full head of hair. 97 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,950 - It's farting! It's farting! 98 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,078 That's our show for tonight. See you next week! 99 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,539 - Good night! 100 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:54,336 - This is TGS! 101 00:04:54,628 --> 00:05:00,926 - So where's that conference room? 102 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,929 - Oh. Golly. - Whoa, k. 103 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,473 - I am sorry, Mr. Jordan. I'm just overworked. 104 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,226 With my page duties and being Mr. Donaghy's assistant, 105 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,144 there's not enough hours in the day. 106 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,479 - I'm sorry about that. 107 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:16,107 But just let me know if there's any way I can help. 108 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,639 - Actually, there is one thing. 109 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,402 - No. I was just saying that. 110 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,321 Why can't you read human facial queues? 111 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,532 All right, what is it? 112 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,242 - Well, with both these jobs, 113 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,414 I don't know when I'm gonna be able to get home. 114 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,830 I'm worried about my bird, Sonny Crockett. 115 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,201 Would you mind going to my apartment and feeding him? 116 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,959 - Yeah, okay. 117 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,520 Birds are like little dinosaurs. 118 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:38,839 So what I'll be doing is actually pretty cool and brave. 119 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,967 - Thank you, sir. Here are my keys. 120 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,428 Oh, and one thing, don't go into my bedroom. 121 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,890 - What? - Do not go into my bedroom. 122 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:55,105 - 25%? How am I supposed to cut a quarter of our budget? 123 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,774 - Well, there is some fat. What about Sid? 124 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,526 - Sid? I can't fire our announcer. 125 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:00,902 He'll lose his insurance. 126 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,797 You know, he has a lot of health problems. 127 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,048 - Yeah, because he was hit by lightning 128 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,216 and can't really talk anymore. 129 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:10,328 - It's tergis with tracky jong-jong 130 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,248 and Jimmy moop! 131 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,834 - No. Sid is off the table. 132 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,311 I'm not firing any of my people. 133 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,775 I'm not doing that to their families. 134 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,562 Or in Sid's case, their much younger wife 135 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,439 with whom they have an open relationship. 136 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,318 - All right, we'll find the money somewhere else. 137 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,552 The food budget... - No! 138 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,386 - All right, what about straws? 139 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,723 We spend $1,200 a year on straws. 140 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,224 - Okay, fine. No more straws. 141 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,268 Everyone drinks from the can from now on. 142 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,814 - Oh, no, we need straws. - Oh, god! That's its bathroom! 143 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,026 - Listen, Liz, I'm gonna need your revised budget 144 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,568 by the end of today. 145 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,362 - I don't know, Brad. TGS is a complicated machine. 146 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,114 Every part's important. - I get it. 147 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,699 You don't want to be the bad guy. 148 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,118 But if you don't make the cuts, I will. 149 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,122 And I don't give a crap about anyone here. 150 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,560 - Matthew, I know this isn't easy, 151 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,769 but the company's facing cutbacks. 152 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,479 And you have to admit your boom box division 153 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,047 is a little bit behind the times. 154 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,019 - We're not behind the times, we're groovy! 155 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,009 - I can offer you two weeks severance. 156 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,221 - Mr. Donaghy, I know you said only interrupt you 157 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,596 if it was very important, 158 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,248 but Tashonda from time Warner cable 159 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,348 is on the phone 160 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,226 and she's offering three free months of showtime. 161 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,518 But we have to act now. 162 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,966 - Kenneth, this does not qualify 163 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,356 as something important. 164 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:20,648 I do not want showtime. 165 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,442 - Oh, okay. I'm sorry. 166 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:23,920 I just didn't want you to miss out 167 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,195 on this exciting opportunity... 168 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,530 - Thank you, Kenneth. 169 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,120 Take your time. 170 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,931 - Hey, little guy. 171 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,772 Don't go in the bedroom. 172 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:01,690 Don't go in the bedroom. 173 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:08,363 - I wasn't going to! I wasn't going to! Bye! 174 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,073 - Hello, miss Lemon. 175 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,765 Are you here to see Kenneth the page 176 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,428 or Kenneth the Mr. Donaghy's assistant? 177 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:16,663 - Well, I need to see Jack. 178 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:17,622 - Hello, miss Lemon. 179 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,624 Mr. Donaghy is in an important meeting. 180 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,227 And I've been told not to interrupt him. 181 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,462 What is this pertaining to? - The TGS budget. 182 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:28,633 - Oh, my. That sounds very important. 183 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,361 I've worked here 20 years. 184 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,469 - Mr. Donaghy. - Kenneth! 185 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:37,434 - I was wrong. That was not important enough. 186 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:41,354 It's me, Kenneth the page, this job is hard. 187 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,689 Please have a seat. 188 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:46,776 Mr. Donaghy will be right with you. 189 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,967 - Do you know what these meetings are about? 190 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,271 I hear people are getting fired. 191 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,827 - Yeah. I don't know. 192 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,399 - Do you know Jack Donaghy well? 193 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,537 - Pretty well. 194 00:08:58,621 --> 00:08:59,621 - Do you happen to know 195 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:00,457 if he's a boob man or a butt man? 196 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,709 - What? Why would you ask that? 197 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,270 - Because I don't want to get fired. 198 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,479 So I'm gonna have to go in there 199 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,547 and boink my way out of this one. 200 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:08,839 I'm Cheryl, by the way. 201 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,842 - You're gonna try to have sex with Jack? 202 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,553 - I have to. I have 15 employees. 203 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:14,888 I'm responsible for them. 204 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,723 Do you have any idea what that's like? 205 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,267 - Well, yeah, I have 200 people under me, but... 206 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,519 - Wow. Maybe we could team up, 207 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:25,023 go in there together, lez out, give him a show. 208 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,735 - No. Cheryl, get a grip. Oh, boy. 209 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,697 - Miss Lemon, Mr. Donaghy will see you now. 210 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,742 - Make it quick, Lemon. 211 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,714 I'm in the middle of a very unpleasant day. 212 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,454 - Okay, well, so am I. 213 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,346 - I know this cutback stuff is difficult. 214 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,123 - I don't want to fire anyone. 215 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,876 And I don't want to take anything away from my crew. 216 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,213 And I want to keep making free, long-distance prank calls 217 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,216 to people like Seattle's Richard Sacmuncher. 218 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,884 And I think that's reasonable. 219 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,536 So what do I do to get out of this? 220 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,030 - The only thing to do is make your cuts 221 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,430 and live to fight another day. 222 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,890 - What? That's it? 223 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,934 I thought you'd tell me to cook the numbers 224 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,312 or shred something or do some pelican brief stuff. 225 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,248 - Why is everyone talking about that movie? 226 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,552 - It's been playing on showtime. 227 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,777 - Kenneth, get me showtime. - What? Why now? 228 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,069 - I'm sorry. 229 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,572 I know this is hard, but there's no way out of it. 230 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:15,864 - Well, little heads up, 231 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,659 your next meeting might disagree. 232 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,261 She's planning to change your mind 233 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,538 by hitting... that. 234 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,914 - Oh, no, not again. 235 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,766 This last guy tried to take my belt off. 236 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,918 But the sad thing is, it sometimes works. 237 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,419 Sexual bartering pays off. 238 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,839 Salome. Mata hari. Deborah Norville. 239 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,508 Well, good luck downstairs. I'm sure you'll figure it out. 240 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,427 Oh, and one more thing, uh, don't cut the straw budget 241 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:41,474 'cause I've already cut the exterminators. 242 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:45,228 - Jenna, something weird is going on. 243 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,981 - You mean this budget stuff? Don't worry about it, Tracy. 244 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,024 It's just gonna affect the non-specials. 245 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,609 - No, it's not that. 246 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,779 Jenna, you're the smartest person I know. 247 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,906 You think Kenneth could be a murderer? 248 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,033 - What? Why would you think that? 249 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,827 - Well, I might be crazy, 250 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:04,289 but neither he Nor his bird would let me into his bedroom. 251 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,341 And why wouldn't you want to let Tracy Jordan 252 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,143 into your bedroom unless you got a bunch 253 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,168 of dead nurses in there? 254 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,879 - Well, I had to study serial killers 255 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,851 to prepare for my role as criminal profiler 256 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,046 Jill St. Ferrari in the lifetime original miniseries 257 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,175 hushed rapings. 258 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,846 And all masked murderers share three characteristics: 259 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,138 Cruelty to animals... 260 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,558 - He grew up killing pigs! - Bedwetting. 261 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,768 - No wonder he's fascinated when I do that! 262 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,271 - And an inability to read human facial queues! 263 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:29,963 - I admonished him for that earlier! 264 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,192 Three for three. He's a monster! 265 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,402 - Okay, we've gotta go tell Jack. 266 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,447 You know, if Kenneth is actually a killer, 267 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,158 we're gonna be heroes. 268 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,749 - Liz, our food is gone. They took it. 269 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,043 It happened this morning. Do you have a cookie? 270 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,546 Mommy's baby needs his yum-yums. 271 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,633 - Oh, my god. Sid, did you get fired? 272 00:11:56,925 --> 00:12:00,595 - Good-bye, Lerz. 273 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,473 - Liz, it's a massacre! - What is going on? 274 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,409 - Brad came in this morning and started making cuts. 275 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,077 I can't go back to teaching high school math. 276 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,704 Those girls pretend they're not women yet, 277 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,771 but they are. 278 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,733 - Do something, Liz. - You're our only hope. 279 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,867 - Halster, you look hot in those trousers. 280 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,452 How about we grab drinks tonight? 281 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,580 - Marissa, update my sched. 282 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,840 - Good morning, sir. 283 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,012 - Kenneth, I know there's a learning curve here, 284 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:40,802 but I need you to focus. 285 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,097 No mistakes now. Think before you speak. 286 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:49,227 Understand? 287 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,355 - Yes. 288 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:06,869 - Oh. - Hey, k. 289 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,161 Where's Jonathan? 290 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,529 - Jonathan's not here anymore. 291 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:13,042 How may I help you? - Um, we need to see Jack. 292 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,694 - I don't know if I can allow that. 293 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,088 I've made some mistakes lately. 294 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,341 Terrible mistakes. - Uh-huh. 295 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,153 - So I need to know what this is about. 296 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,902 I can't have you getting me into trouble. 297 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,346 - It's not about you. 298 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,918 - Yeah, it's about someone else. 299 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,581 I'm afraid this guy I know in Canada 300 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,351 might be a serial killer. 301 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,770 - And what is his name? - Kenneth. 302 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,774 I mean... I'll tell you his name. It's Kenneth. 303 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,069 - Excellent. I will be sure to let him know 304 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:44,282 as soon as he's done firing Steven Lee from microwaves. 305 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,452 - What? - Oh, Mr. Lee, I forgot. 306 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:53,416 He's ready for you now. 307 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,001 - I've got chills. He's evil. 308 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,853 - If I had any doubts about this before, 309 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,339 and I don't think I did, they're gone now. 310 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,525 - We gotta go to his apartment and save who we can. 311 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,509 We're definitely gonna be heroes. 312 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:08,473 - Yeah, like Julia and Denzel in the pelican brief! 313 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,299 - Lee, I need that dress Jenna wore for the hooker sketch, 314 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,437 the heels Tracy wears when he plays Michelle Obama, 315 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:20,651 and double... Wait... triple Spanx. 316 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,907 I need a makeup artist! No, the sluttier one. 317 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,623 - Thanks, Liz. - You're our hero. 318 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,631 - They may take my dignity, 319 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:45,259 but they will never take our straws! 320 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,347 Yeah! 321 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,890 - Oh, my god. 322 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,502 Why does he have a rolled up towel 323 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,393 against the bottom of the door? 324 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:54,894 It's so creepy! 325 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,814 - Jenna, I just want you to know that if we find 326 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,774 any human remains in there, 327 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:04,445 I'm gonna throw up all over your face. 328 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,038 - Oh, no! Kenneth's a murderer and the Riddler's coming! 329 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,250 - No. It's a bug bomb. Get out. Get out. 330 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,542 It's poisonous. - Ah! 331 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,003 - Ah! 332 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:27,009 - So thanks for dinner. You sure know a lot about Sushi. 333 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,461 - Well, you gotta be careful. 334 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,033 They try to up-sell you the real crab. 335 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,639 - So... - So... 336 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:38,479 Listen, I gotta get going. I got a lotta work tomorrow. 337 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,491 - All right, listen, we're both adults here. 338 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,165 We know the deal. Let's cut to the chase. 339 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,318 - That's certainly direct. - We go upstairs. 340 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,779 20 minutes. Open mouth. I will work your ears. 341 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,072 - I don't know, Liz. 342 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,550 What you're asking me to do is a big deal. 343 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,774 If I go through with this, I need to know it's worth it. 344 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,494 - Fine. 30 minutes. I'll make some sounds. 345 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,830 And you can say one weird thing to me. 346 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,541 All right, hardball. 30 minutes. Sounds. 347 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,751 Top front of my body is now in play. Deal? 348 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:04,380 - Deal. 349 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,425 - Lemon, I heard a rumor that you went out 350 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,237 with one of the consultants last night. 351 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,678 - Well, I had no choice. 352 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,698 I had to give him a little taste of the Lemon. 353 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,807 And it was not sour, my friend. Not sour. 354 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,579 - It's interesting you put it that way 355 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,727 because your writers' room is now the headquarters 356 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,898 for telemundo's coverage of world cup soccer qualifying. 357 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,910 - Equador tiene que ganar o atar contra Peru 358 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,228 para avanzar en los finales. 359 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,820 - What the what?! - Ssh. 360 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,156 - Brad and I had a deal. I gave him top front. 361 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:33,367 Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant. 362 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,581 - Kenneth, you know how you told Tracy 363 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,208 not to go into your bedroom? 364 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,580 Well, naturally, we assumed you were a serial killer. 365 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,587 And as you can imagine, your bird is dead. 366 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:45,939 - Yeah, but on the Bright side, 367 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:46,547 you've been downgraded 368 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,425 from "suspect" to "person of interest." 369 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,612 - Some day, we're gonna look back on this and laugh. 370 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:55,556 Time does heal all wounds! 371 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,310 Now you wait just one minute. 372 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,562 I am sorry to be using my barn voice 373 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,773 in front of a lady, but I am riled up. 374 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,665 It is not enough that you killed the bird 375 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,818 I've had for almost 60 years. 376 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,989 But the fact that you didn't trust me is unforgivable. 377 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,281 But what should I expect? 378 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,702 Look at you two walking around without a care in the world 379 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,454 as budgets are slashed 380 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,998 and people keep getting called into Mr. Donaghy's office 381 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,833 to be fired. 382 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,670 I may just be a non-special, 383 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:29,298 but what you two did is inexcusable. 384 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,719 Good day. 385 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,011 - I'm out of letters. 386 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,406 - I have to return my kids' braces. 387 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,750 - What did you do? We trusted you! 388 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,226 - You ruined it with your talking, didn't you? 389 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,271 - Hey! Why are you still messing with my show? 390 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,563 What about last night? 391 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,832 - Liz, last night was what it was, 392 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,108 but business is business. 393 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,444 - Right. And last night, I gave you the business. 394 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,029 We had an agreement. 395 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,781 Top front and some light ear work! 396 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,534 You got your quid, Halster. Where's my quo? 397 00:17:56,826 --> 00:18:01,289 - Oh, my god. Last night was about the show? 398 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,766 - Oh, please, you know it was. 399 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,226 You were all, oh, it's gotta be worth it 400 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,894 and what you're asking me to do is such a big deal. 401 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,336 - It was a big deal. 402 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,814 Being with a woman for the first time 403 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:09,547 Since my wife died. 404 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,925 - Ah, snap. - It was just a transaction? 405 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,510 What kind of person are you?! 406 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,261 - Does it help if I tell you 407 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,638 I thought we were doing sexual espionage? 408 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,684 - Oh, god. Sharon! Angel! 409 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,353 I swore to you the next one would be worthy, 410 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,230 but she's not! 411 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,816 She's a monster! 412 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,485 Marissa, add Dr. Walters to my sched. 413 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,532 - Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 414 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:40,494 - Okay, so Mr. Halster has filed a complaint against you 415 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,996 with human resources. 416 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,541 Specifically, his claim suggests that you tried to barter sex 417 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,585 in exchange for professional consideration. 418 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,420 In the human resource world, 419 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,673 we refer to that as "being a filthy prostitute." 420 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,508 Now, since this is your first incident 421 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,761 and, uh, Mr. Donaghy has explained 422 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,387 the mitigating circumstances... 423 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,640 - I'm convinced that this sexual outburst 424 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,516 was brought on by menopause. 425 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,394 - We are recommending only a two-week suspension 426 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:06,686 without pay. 427 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,898 - Okay. That's fair. 428 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,834 - And obviously Mr. Halster cannot function 429 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,234 in this hostile work environment. 430 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,028 His company has reassigned him. 431 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,656 And your budget review process will start over again 432 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,033 under my supervision. 433 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,910 - Really. - Yes, really. 434 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,245 I hope you've learned your lesson, miss Lemon. 435 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,177 When you harass sexually in the workplace, 436 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:29,543 things do not somehow just work out in the end. 437 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,671 - Mr. Donaghy, I thought you'd like to know 438 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,714 that there's a spider on the printer. 439 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,634 Oh, no. Am I interrupting? 440 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:41,639 Is this another firing meeting? - It is now. 441 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,642 Kenneth, have a seat. 442 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,236 - Ken, we feel bad that we... but mostly Jenna... 443 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,612 Gassed your bird. 444 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,904 - I agree. 445 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,824 Not to name names, but it's so sad 446 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:00,825 that a certain black individual 447 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,494 found it necessary to trick someone so pretty 448 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,246 into believing you were a murderer. 449 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,289 - I'm sorry, is there a point to all this? 450 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,125 I've had a bad couple of days. 451 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,753 - Well, we feel terrible about what happened, 452 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,924 so we did a little something to make it up to you. 453 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:31,731 Looks like I've got some naming to do. 454 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:35,359 Pat. Balthazar. Donna. 455 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,111 Lorne. Michael.