1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,717 - Hello. - Lemon, good morning. 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,136 Wh... what is that sound? Are you frying bacon? 3 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,055 - No, it's my new running shoes. 4 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,431 Oh, come on. 5 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,123 Lemon, I'm going over the guest list 6 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,269 for my 50th birthday party and you have not rsvp'd. 7 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,896 - Oh, right, sorry. 8 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,188 My mail's been piling up 9 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,833 and I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper so... 10 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,609 - What is that supposed to mean? 11 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,069 - Nothing. I'm coming. - Good. 12 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,671 And don't wear that thing with the belt. 13 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,923 - What thing with the belt? Don't hang up. 14 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,074 I have a lot of belted outfit... 15 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,786 Oh, what is this idiot doing? 16 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:36,745 - I will be brief. 17 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,039 I have decided to fulfill my dream 18 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,415 of going into space. 19 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,834 If you have a spaceship and are looking 20 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:46,088 for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat 21 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,173 and $30 million, 22 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,884 I'm prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow. 23 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,762 I wrote that yesterday. 24 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,889 I will not be taking questions. 25 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,184 - Ugh! 26 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,608 - Hello, dummy. - No! Nope! 27 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,180 Not interested. Have a good life. 28 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:12,030 - This is important. It's about my mom. 29 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,702 - That was a lie. 30 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,162 But listen, Elizabeth, 31 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,174 I recently discovered that I'm a sex addict. 32 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,958 - No, you're not. - Yeah, I am. 33 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,352 I'd be an even worse sex addict 34 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,576 if I wasn't so consumed with my latest business venture. 35 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,481 - I don't want to hear about your job, Dennis. 36 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,007 - One word. Coffee. 37 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,442 One problem. Where do you get it? 38 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,135 - Anywhere. You get it anywhere. 39 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,427 - Wrong. 40 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,263 You get it at my coffee vending machine. 41 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,473 38th and 6th in the basement of the Kmart. 42 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,766 Just go downstairs. 43 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,119 You get the key from David. 44 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,061 And boom, you plug in the machine and... 45 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,397 - You're done. 46 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,417 - But the point is, I'm Dennis, and I'm a sex addict. 47 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,693 And one of the steps towards my recovery is atonement. 48 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,862 - Please stop talking. 49 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,364 - Former sex partner, 50 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,883 I'm sorry that my disease has made you a victim 51 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,492 of my sexual charisma. 52 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,452 I'm sorry that I've ruined you for other men... 53 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,162 - Apology accepted. 54 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,574 Now get out of my apartment. 55 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,665 - You know my sponsor said 56 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,059 that you were gonna try to pick a fight 57 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:05,792 to lure me into hate sex. 58 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,324 It's not gonna work, Elizabeth. 59 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:11,590 My support group, it's lousy with nymphos. 60 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,759 - Ugh. 61 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:25,062 ♪ ♪ 62 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,505 - Have you seen this Tracy thing? 63 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,197 - I am aware of it. 64 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,199 I have a Google news alert for the phrase 65 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,368 "Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster." 66 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,661 - Have you spoken to him? 67 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:41,971 - We're on the phone with his assistant 68 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,580 setting up a time for us to talk. 69 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:44,974 - Well, when do you expect him? 70 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,309 - I think he has stuff all morning. 71 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,333 - You think or you know? 72 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,253 - Hang on. I'm going into a tunnel. 73 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,131 - What is this? 74 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,468 - My mother sent me a box of old Donaghy home movies. 75 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,080 - For your birthday? That's sweet. 76 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,178 - No, not really. 77 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,722 This is the card that came with it. 78 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,432 "Jackie, here is some of your junk. 79 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,850 "It was taking up the space 80 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,478 "my new boyfriend needed for his golf bags. 81 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,356 His name is Paul and he doesn't want to meet you." 82 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:10,649 - Mm. - At any rate, 83 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,486 I had Jonathan convert the movies to DVD, 84 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:19,157 preserve these memories forever. 85 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,489 - Oh, my god. Is that you? 86 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:26,790 - I like your little sweater vest. 87 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,082 Oh! Hi-yo! 88 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,793 You threw up? 89 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:30,794 - What? 90 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,130 As a kid you never got so excited you vomited? 91 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,756 - No. No one does that. 92 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,128 I mean, I've peed a little. 93 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,759 Help me! 94 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,331 - His tie caught in the shredder! 95 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,596 - I'm lizzing! I'm lizzing! 96 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,685 "Lizzing" is a combination of laughing and whizzing. 97 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,439 - Uh, well if you want a good lizz, read this. 98 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,731 - What is it? 99 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,000 - A list I made in the fifth grade 100 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,043 of the things I wanted to have done 101 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:54,568 by the time I turned 50. 102 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,611 - Oh, my god. This is adorable. 103 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,322 "Go to Disneyland. Ride in an airplane. 104 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,615 Kiss Peggy Fleming." 105 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,411 - Done, done, and oh, boy. Done. 106 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,863 "Live in a house with stairs. 107 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,289 "Beat up a Russian. 108 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,541 Hit mom with a car." 109 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:10,935 I wonder what that ten year old would think 110 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,878 if he could see himself now. 111 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,714 "Fly on a plane." I've flown on air force one. 112 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,507 "Go to Disneyland." 113 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,510 Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands. 114 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:21,802 - That's awesome. 115 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,090 I've danced with queen noor. 116 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,098 I've hunted the world's most dangerous game. 117 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,390 Man. 118 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,519 Excuse me. Manatee. 119 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,773 I once shot a manatee. 120 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,150 - Well, if that kid could see himself today, 121 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,735 he would throw up. 122 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:37,736 - Thank you, Lemon. 123 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,821 - There's only one left. 124 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:40,697 "Be friends with Batman." 125 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,216 - There's still a couple of hours. 126 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,240 Jonathan. 127 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:48,205 Could you get Adam west's agent on the phone please. 128 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,500 Griswald talent management. Representing excellence. 129 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:52,793 - It's funny. 130 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,878 I actually played Peter pan on Broadway. 131 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,050 Did you know there's a Broadway street in tampa? 132 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,256 - Now this is important. 133 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,108 This needs to be threaded all the way up 134 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:00,759 in order to lock. 135 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,052 Otherwise you could fall. 136 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,221 - In bed. - Pay attention. 137 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,990 - Also, you can't have anything in your pockets. 138 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,057 - Oh, my phone. 139 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,683 Will you hold that? Thanks. 140 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,060 Ready. 141 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,771 I'm flying! 142 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,332 Oh, my god. Why are there so many 143 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,356 dead doves up here? 144 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,276 - Jenna's phone. 145 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,071 - Hey, Jenna. This is Dennis Duffy. 146 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,990 Yes, hello, this is Jenna. 147 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,282 - I bet you never thought 148 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,469 you'd be hearing from me again now, huh? 149 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,744 - Yes, really. 150 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,454 Why so ever would you be phoning me? 151 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,789 - With the help of WebMD 152 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,208 I was recently self-diagnosed as a sex addict. 153 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,002 So former sex partner, I'm sorry that my disease 154 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,854 made you a victim of my sexual charisma. 155 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,465 I'm sorry that I ruined you for other men. 156 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,819 Look, I would've come down there and done this in person 157 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,946 but it's complicated because of the whole Liz thing you know. 158 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,722 - Naturally. Liz. Always. 159 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:48,515 - If she found out about this she couldn't handle it. 160 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,433 And it would ruin your friendship. 161 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,394 You know, I was the love of Liz's life. 162 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,105 - I'm not sure you were but apology accepted. 163 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,898 - Oh, no. I totally was. 164 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,400 Peace. 165 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,409 - Forget it, Tracy. 166 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,036 - Tracy, listen. You cannot go into space. 167 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,373 Your contract expressly prohibits dangerous activities 168 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,105 like extreme sports or riding the subway on St. Patrick's day. 169 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,669 - What is this? Horseville? 170 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,921 'Cause I am surrounded by naysayers! 171 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,215 Wordplay. - That is solid. 172 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,759 - Look, when I was a kid growing up in the projects, 173 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,428 I would look up at the stars 174 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,513 and dream of going into space. 175 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:29,931 Of escaping the slums. 176 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,017 Of killing an Ewok! 177 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,060 Now the man that that kid has become 178 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,632 can make those dreams come true. 179 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,105 Do you know what that's like? 180 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,023 - I do, Tracy. 181 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,650 - Then you know why I have to do this. 182 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,319 As Robert Browning once wrote, 183 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:45,989 "oh, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp. 184 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,825 Or what is a heaven for?" 185 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,117 I was prepared for the possibility of this meeting. 186 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,456 - Tracy, I'll call up my friends at NASA 187 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,766 and I'll set up a flight for you. 188 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,083 - Thank you, Jackie D. 189 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,294 - Jack, what the hell? 190 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,464 - I'm not taking his childhood dream away from him. 191 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,381 Not on my birthday. 192 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,193 - So you're just gonna let him do this? 193 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,134 - Of course not. 194 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,586 I don't have friends at NASA. 195 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,762 Bunch of nerds. 196 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,534 You're gonna have to use your TV magic 197 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,182 and fake a space launch for Tracy. 198 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,893 - Aw, I was gonna go for a run today! 199 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,436 - Oh. Ha ha. 200 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:22,733 - You missed a call. 201 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,069 - Was it my doctor/trainer? 202 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,863 - No, it was Dennis. Dennis Duffy. 203 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,866 - Calling me? Why? 204 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,369 - Well Jenna, Dennis has been going around 205 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,421 calling all the women he's ever had sex with. 206 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,414 - Did you speak to him? - Yes. 207 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,040 - Did you pretend to be me? - I did. 208 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,041 - Did you do an impression of me? 209 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,501 - Of course. - Was it British? 210 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,544 - It was. - Oh, my god, Liz. 211 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,506 First of all, the reason I have some English inflection 212 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,359 in my speech is because I lost my virginity 213 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,218 to the my fair lady soundtrack. - Jenna... 214 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,178 - Second, you guys had broken up 215 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,310 and Dennis and I were in a very emotional place 216 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,549 because of hurricane Katrina. 217 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,808 - Jenna, stop. 218 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,352 Yes, what you did was disgusting. 219 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,354 But how long have we known each other? 220 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,064 - 15 years. 221 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,692 We met at that car dealership audition in Chicago. 222 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,252 You were trying to be an actress then, 223 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,276 despite your neck. 224 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,319 - Right. Yes. 225 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,698 Well we have both seen this happen too many times. 226 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,951 A strong female friendship torn apart by some guy. 227 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,804 But that's not what's gonna happen this time. 228 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,454 Dennis Duffy said he didn't want this 229 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,956 to hurt our friendship. 230 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,250 As if someone like him ever could. 231 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,003 - Oh, thank you, Liz. 232 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,672 - I mean, the idea that that guy is walking around 233 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,133 thinking he means anything to me... to either of us... 234 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,425 It's ridiculous. 235 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,552 - It's unacceptable. 236 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,904 We shouldn't let him get away with it. 237 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,322 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 238 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,472 - Yeah, let's stab him. 239 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,204 - Let's give him a piece of our mind. 240 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,601 - Yeah, your thing. 241 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,231 - More gifts, Mr. Donaghy. 242 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,442 Oh, you got a new tuxedo for your party. 243 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,569 - You know I wore nothing but hand-me-downs 244 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,945 until I was 12 years old. 245 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,837 - But I thought you were the oldest, sir. 246 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,449 - Oldest boy. 247 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:55,869 Now look at me. - I already did. 248 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,413 Wow. That's a lot of loot. 249 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,540 My last birthday, I cleaned up. 250 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,333 Look at this keychain I got. 251 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,878 Every time you move his head, his head moves! 252 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,170 Look! 253 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,964 - Kenneth, I wonder what it's like 254 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,133 seeing the world through your eyes. 255 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,760 - I don't know, Mr. Donaghy. 256 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,696 I think I see the world pretty much the same 257 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,720 as everyone else. 258 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,222 - Really? 259 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,516 ♪ 'Cause I think you're very special, Kenneth ♪ 260 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:19,434 - Pardon me. 261 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,436 - ♪ To be able to get so much Joy ♪ 262 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,646 ♪ from simple things ♪ - ♪ simple things ♪ 263 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:24,939 ♪ simple ♪ 264 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:25,857 Things. 265 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,233 But most of us grow up 266 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,778 and lose our sense of wonder. 267 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,613 - Oh, that's sad. 268 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,531 - Not really. No. 269 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,825 I've surpassed my wildest dreams. 270 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,119 I'm... I'm happier than I've ever been. 271 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,662 - Of course you are. 272 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,956 You've got all these fancy presents 273 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,541 from business associates 274 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,919 and this big empty house to store them in. 275 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,963 Happy birthday, Mr. Donaghy. 276 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,223 - Hello, dummy. 277 00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,891 - Hey. 278 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,183 What's up? 279 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,103 - I know about you and Jenna, Dennis. 280 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,521 - Oh. 281 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,397 I... I get why you're here. 282 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,689 You want me to rank you. 283 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,651 Apples and oranges, ladies. 284 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,027 - No. Stop. Shut up. 285 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,695 I'm here because I want you to know 286 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,864 that I am not mad at Jenna about this. 287 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,075 - Well, you can't be mad at me either, Liz. 288 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,095 I mean, I went to your apartment that night looking for you. 289 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,537 To be with you. 290 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,349 - Wait a minute, hang on. My apartment? 291 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,493 - Okay, I can explain that. 292 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,167 You had gone on that over 30 outward bound trip to Arizona. 293 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,603 And you had asked me to housesit. 294 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,627 Well, Dennis came over. 295 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:29,711 And as I mentioned, 296 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,257 we were both pretty torn up about hurricane Katrina. 297 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:35,844 - What those people were doing to the superdome. 298 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,136 Fine. All right. 299 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,864 You know what, it happened. What do you want from me? 300 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,056 This is what I want from you. 301 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:43,685 I want you to understand exactly how unimportant you are. 302 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,257 You are not the love of my life. 303 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,438 You are not capable of hurting me. 304 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:51,317 And you could never do anything to damage this friendship. 305 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,318 - It was in your bed. 306 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,028 - Aw, guys, come on! 307 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,320 I eat in there. 308 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,782 No, I'm gonna take the high road. 309 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,784 So good luck with your fake addiction 310 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,804 and your inconveniently-located vending machine. 311 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,538 - No, not okay, Liz. 312 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,039 Not okay. 313 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,041 All right, fine. You know what? 314 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,543 I'm ranking you now. 315 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,753 Hey, blondie. You're number one. 316 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,548 - Thank you, Dennis. - I don't care. 317 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,840 - You got it. 318 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,723 - Ladies and gentlemen, I can't stay long. 319 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,725 I'm on a case. 320 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,561 The penguin's in town. 321 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:30,648 But I would like to introduce my good friend. 322 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,442 The man of the hour. 323 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:37,572 Jake Delahey! 324 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,532 Jake. 325 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,996 - This is wrong. 326 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,288 It's all wrong. 327 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,583 Everyone go home now. 328 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,126 The party's over. 329 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,589 - I was told I'd get a meal. 330 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,759 - Fine. Why don't you just, uh... 331 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,353 - Jack, am I the first one here? 332 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:09,646 Ugh! I waited. 333 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:10,980 This always happens. 334 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,441 - Lemon, what's inside that box? 335 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,733 - I don't know. A toy? 336 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,486 - Tonight was supposed to be special. 337 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,655 And all I could think about was that kid. 338 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,615 So happy, he threw up. 339 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,259 The closest I came to vomiting tonight 340 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,328 was when I saw Ann coulter's shoulder blades. 341 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:26,620 What happens to us? 342 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:27,871 - We grow up. 343 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:28,997 - I have a good life, 344 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,709 but I'll never be that happy again. 345 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,211 I want that back. 346 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,147 - Well, there's nothing you can do about that. 347 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,756 - I disagree. 348 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,888 I'm going to find out what was inside that box. 349 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,319 I'm going to buy it with money. 350 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,720 And it's going to make me happy. 351 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,472 If that doesn't work, 352 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,474 I'm going to Benjamin button myself. 353 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,936 - We're not meeting in the middle. 354 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,648 - Oh, hey. 355 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,358 I just wanted to get you to approve 356 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:56,794 the other astronauts we hired. 357 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:57,938 - Looks good. Where's Tracy? 358 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:58,820 - In cape canaveral. 359 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,488 By which I mean through that door. 360 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,324 - We told him he had to be blindfolded before launch 361 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,896 to prevent space madness. - Sure. 362 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:05,493 - And then we put him on the channel four 363 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,096 traffic copter for a couple hours. 364 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,497 - And now he's landed here in sunny Florida. 365 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,999 Well done, Hornberger. - Yeah. 366 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,011 As a child, I dreamed of being a congressman 367 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,460 like my father. 368 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,504 Now I do this. 369 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,881 One DUI in high school. 370 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,137 - At least it's dry heat here in Florida. 371 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,240 Good work astronaut Jordan. 372 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:29,976 Now do 20 space sit-ups. 373 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,062 - Computer, when do I get some tang? 374 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,189 Also, I'm thirsty. 375 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,318 Wordplay. 376 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:44,657 - Morning, Jenna. 377 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,576 - Hey, you. 378 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,995 God, telling Dennis off together was so empowering. 379 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,705 I felt so jacked up on the way home 380 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,141 that I threw a brick through the window 381 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,249 of a banana republic. 382 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,668 - Yeah, it was something. 383 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,840 - I can't believe Dennis tried to do that to us. 384 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,214 But he got his, right? Sisterhood. 385 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,967 - Sure. Sisterhood! 386 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,391 - Oh. - What? 387 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,685 Nothing. 388 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,105 - Ah! Ah! 389 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,821 Be careful, 'cause that thing is open. 390 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,825 I'll go get the emergency floor Marshall. 391 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,327 Floor Marshall! 392 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,412 - Hey, you called tech support? 393 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,706 - I need to see what's inside that box. 394 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,625 If I learned anything from watching 24, 395 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,543 you're gonna want to zoom in and enhance. 396 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,755 - Why don't you ask Jimmy what's in there? 397 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,127 It says "from Jimmy" on it. 398 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,675 Jimmy Flaherty. 399 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,387 - Jimmy, what did you get me for my tenth birthday? 400 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,847 - Uh, I thought this was a job interview. 401 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,139 I flew down from Boston. 402 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,767 - I have to know, Jimmy. 403 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,186 I need to know what you got me that made that happy. 404 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,938 - I don't remember, Jack. 405 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,940 Doesn't this thing have any sound on it? 406 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,512 You're clearly saying something. 407 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,778 - Jonathan, get me a deaf person. 408 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,698 - I was told this was a job interview. 409 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,700 - Tell me, Wendy. What am I saying? 410 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,579 You're saying, 411 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,040 "Apollo, Apollo, Apollo..." 412 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,834 Oh, my god! You puked! 413 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086 Why wouldn't you warn me? 414 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,712 I'm staring at your mouth! 415 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,506 - Apollo. 416 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,007 I know what it is! 417 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,888 - Liz Lemon. 418 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,558 Hey, sista! How's the leg? 419 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,184 - You are a piece of work. 420 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,728 These crutches are real, everyone. 421 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,873 Liz tried to kill me. - What are you talking about? 422 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,177 - Oh, please, you saw the harness 423 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,354 and you didn't do anything. 424 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,651 - T-minus ten minutes. 425 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,023 - Be quiet. Tracy's coming. 426 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:45,987 - All systems are go for launch. 427 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,447 Star wars. 428 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:59,625 ♪ ♪ 429 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,507 - All that stuff about our friendship was a lie. 430 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,959 You would've let me die, Liz! 431 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,302 Over Dennis Duffy. 432 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,754 - So okay, I did a bad thing. 433 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,055 But you slept with Dennis. 434 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,682 And now we're... even? 435 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,517 - Even? I can't even look at you. 436 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,477 You know what? 437 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,147 You're no long my plus one to the Canadian grammys. 438 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:24,484 Two, one, zero. 439 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,777 Lift off, we have a lift off. 440 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,573 - I'm scared but I'm also excited! 441 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,494 Whoo! I'm lizzing! 442 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,704 Ah ha ha ha! 443 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,538 Lizzing! 444 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,165 I'm lizzing! 445 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,292 Yeah! Ha ha! 446 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,923 - Oh, what is that, sir? 447 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:50,134 - This is an Apollo command and lunar module 448 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,054 that I just paid $7,000 for at a vintage toy store 449 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,973 where a morbidly obese gentleman called me "pal." 450 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,934 - Whoa. 451 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,061 - Tracy to earth. Come in, earth! 452 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,313 - Mr. Jordan. 453 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,440 How is space? 454 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:05,732 - Great wink, Kenneth. 455 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,486 Space is very cold but very beautiful. 456 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,489 And sometimes it sounds like Jenna yelling in the distance. 457 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,950 I think I... oh, my god. 458 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,442 Where did you get that rocket? 459 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,245 - Mr. Donaghy's letting me hold it. 460 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,663 - It's awesome. 461 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,082 - You know, I actually envy you two. 462 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,854 Sometimes I wish I could see the world 463 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,404 through your eyes instead of mine. 464 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:25,669 - Hey, Jackie D. 465 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,951 If everyone could see the world 466 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,422 the way I see it, 467 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,424 it would be a better place to live. 468 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,220 - I bet that's true, Tracy. 469 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,723 - But that part of me is gone forever. 470 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:41,727 I guess I just see the world the way I see it. 471 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,443 - Is he letting me keep this? 472 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:50,736 - I think so. 473 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,949 I wish I was there so I could play with it. 474 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,534 - Hi, miss Lemon. 475 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,333 - What do you want? 476 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,985 I want to make it up to you, Jenna. 477 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,379 What can I do? 478 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,715 How about on the next show you could do that song 479 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,609 that they wouldn't let you sing at the inauguration? 480 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,633 - No. 481 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,428 Chocolate rainbow is too good for TGS. 482 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,971 Okay, fine. 483 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,472 You can tell them. 484 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,432 You can tell the writers. 485 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,724 - Tell them what? 486 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,101 - About my commercial. 487 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:25,187 The one I was in back in Chicago. 488 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,399 Ugh. 489 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,484 - Everyone, listen to me. 490 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,056 No, it's a real thing this time. 491 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,671 When we were both living back in Chicago 492 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,382 and Liz was still trying to be an actress, 493 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,991 the only job she ever booked 494 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,368 was for a local phone sex line. - What? 495 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,288 - It was a chat line for urban singles. 496 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,580 - And they only hired her 497 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:44,808 because their first choice was deported. 498 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,542 - Okay, we're even. 499 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:47,874 So you will not find it... 500 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,712 - I found it. It's on YouTube. 501 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,004 - What? No... 502 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,983 - I have a cable to hook the computer up to the TV. 503 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,401 - Then shut your wet mouth and get that cable. 504 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,426 Get it! - Come on, guys. 505 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,846 Let's all be cool. That's not gonna... 506 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,681 - Don't wait. 507 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,685 - How did you do that so fast? 508 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:05,977 Hi, I'm bijou. 509 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,022 - Bijou! - Call me. 510 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,565 - Oh, my god! 511 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,317 - Oh! 512 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,444 - I have since had invisalign. 513 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,655 - That is not attractive. 514 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:19,116 - Call us. In English, German, or Polish. 515 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,816 - That's not even enough numbers. 516 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,916 - 21 hours a day. 517 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,208 - What is this? 518 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,614 - It's a commercial that Liz did 519 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,544 back in Chicago. 520 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,088 That's Liz. 521 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,048 - No. 522 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,801 - Call us. We love to party. 523 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,889 - I remember that girl. 524 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,474 She cried all day. 525 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,727 - No, this is not happening! 526 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,273 - What's so funny? 527 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,725 Oh, is that Billie Jean King? 528 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,611 - Oh, my god! 529 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,698 I haven't laughed this much since... 530 00:19:58,989 --> 00:19:59,699 Since... 531 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:00,990 Since... 532 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,117 - Everybody back up. 533 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,828 Get out of the way! He's gonna Jack! 534 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,371 - Goodness gracious! 535 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,583 - God, he's mortal! - What just happened? 536 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,128 - Oh, lord! Oh, lord! Ah! 537 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,381 - Hey, are you feeling okay? 538 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:25,641 - I feel great. I feel like a kid. 539 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,936 Lemon, I honestly don't know what I would do without you. 540 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,188 - I'll see you tomorrow, Jack. 541 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,609 - See you tomorrow... bijou. 542 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,278 - Ugh!