1 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,007 - Kenneth, I'm gonna duck uptown 2 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,485 and have lunch with my boyfriend. 3 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,801 - Yes, ma'am. 4 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,374 Is that code for some kind of older gal medical procedure? 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,598 - No, Kenneth. I really have a boyfriend. 6 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,170 Look. He's handsome and a doctor. 7 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:16,850 - A doctor? 8 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,936 Well don't get too attached. 9 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,997 As soon as people realize his tonics don't work, 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,189 it's on to the next town. 11 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,192 - Hey, Ken, you know what I have a craving for? 12 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,611 - Jerk chicken from that place in mill basin? 13 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:28,529 - And some? 14 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,572 - Catalog photos of expectant mothers 15 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,864 in their swimming suits? 16 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,243 - You are my radar O'Reilly, Ken. 17 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,775 Now get in here and rub my feet 18 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,664 till you hear a chopper coming. 19 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,416 - Lemon, how's Tracy? 20 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,710 What's his mood? - Oh, upbeat and confused. 21 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,522 - Perfect. You know his contract is up. 22 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,047 - Has it been that long? 23 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,650 Boy, we sure have done some crazy things 24 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,034 with Tracy in the last three years. 25 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,302 - Huh, we sure have. 26 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,138 - I'm thinking about some of them now. 27 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,558 - Me too. 28 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,102 Anyway, I'm handling the Tracy thing myself. 29 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,955 - Right. Play hardball. Get your business jollies. 30 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,146 Well, sadly enough this time 31 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,024 with Tracy it's not about money anymore. 32 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:06,942 His video game made a fortune 33 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,735 and he invested all of it 34 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,463 in a company that dismantles bank signs. 35 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,572 They're doing very well. 36 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,383 - You don't think he's gonna leave, do you? 37 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,408 - Oh, don't worry. 38 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,344 When you're above money, personal relationships 39 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,703 become your currency. 40 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,871 Tracy and I have become quite close. 41 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,624 Look. We got BFF bracelets. 42 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,310 - You guys are best friends forever? 43 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,295 - That's not what that stands for. 44 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,508 - Why would you celebrate that? 45 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,760 - So wait, tell me where you went to school again? 46 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,053 - Well, uh, I... 47 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,406 - Hey, you really look nice today. 48 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,682 - Thank you. - Do you know her? 49 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,226 - No, I don't think so. 50 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,185 - Oh, wait! No, no! 51 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,477 No, uh, that's my car. 52 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,645 - Meter's expired. 53 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,441 - I forgot to get quarters. 54 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,776 - You know what? I got quarters. 55 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,236 - Thanks, officer. 56 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,155 - You're welcome. 57 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,198 - Boy, people sure are nice to you. 58 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,658 - Yeah, I guess. 59 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,202 - Excuse me. I'm Calvin klein, 60 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,331 and I think you should be my next underwear model. 61 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,042 - Well, thanks. 62 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,419 - You don't want to get a card, phone number? 63 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,712 - He'll figure it out. 64 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:20,007 ♪ ♪ 65 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,071 - Hey. 66 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,643 - You went to plunder for lunch? 67 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,822 How did you get a table? 68 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,158 - I don't know. It was packed. 69 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,951 But they just gave Drew a table. 70 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,679 It is ridiculous how people treat him. 71 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,414 The chef sent over food. Ladies sent drinks. 72 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,583 Mayer Bloomberg asked him to dance. 73 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,044 - Well, beautiful people are treated differently 74 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,672 from moderately... Pleasant-looking people. 75 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,466 - It's true. - They live in a bubble. 76 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,427 A bubble of free drinks, kindness, and outdoor sex. 77 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,280 - How did Drew turn out as well as he did 78 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,464 going through life like that? 79 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,908 - The bubble isn't always a bad thing. 80 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,492 Look at me. I turned out okay, didn't I? 81 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,268 - Jack, I want you to pay close attention 82 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,230 to the following over-the-top eye roll. 83 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,690 Oh, brother. 84 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,901 - Lemon, I don't share this often. 85 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,363 But this is a photo of me when I was 25 years old. 86 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,281 - What the... what? 87 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,242 You have a Superman chest! 88 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,244 - I know. - Oh, my god. 89 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,621 The lady will have two tickets to the gun show. 90 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,623 And your eyes are so much bluer. 91 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,624 What happened to your eyes? 92 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,251 - My point is, Lemon, 93 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,561 the bubble doesn't last forever. 94 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,546 So get in there with Drew and enjoy those perks 95 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,838 while you can. 96 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,002 - Can I keep that? - Uh, no. 97 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,301 It's my only copy. 98 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,056 - Everyone gather around please. 99 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,349 Actor announcement. 100 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,308 As you probably know, 101 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,310 especially if you read page six 102 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,979 of my publicist's emails, 103 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:52,107 I have decided to cut my hair and donate it to charity. 104 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,735 - But, miss Maroney, why would you cut your beautiful hair? 105 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:58,321 You look just how I picture Mary magdalene. 106 00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,757 - Well, because, Kenneth, I am a selfless person 107 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,241 who can't get arrested in this town. 108 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,411 Meanwhile, Tracy Jordan's face is everywhere. 109 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,245 - Jenna, I already explained that. 110 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,204 That was a police sketch of a flasher 111 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,166 who happened to look like Tracy... we hope. 112 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,727 - Whatever. He's hogging the buzz. 113 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,793 - You've got buzz. 114 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,088 You were in that magazine that time. 115 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,517 - I don't even know what you're referring to. 116 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,927 And that was two years ago. 117 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,099 As usual, I have to create my own opportunities. 118 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,599 No one will be talking about Tracy Jordan this Friday 119 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:29,561 when I cut my hair off on the today show. 120 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:35,150 - You're what I think Judas looks like. 121 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,320 - Tracy, I hope you know how much we value you here 122 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,070 at TGS. 123 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,157 I like to think of this staff as a family. 124 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,468 - This is better than a family. 125 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,369 No one around here asks me for my damn bone marrow. 126 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,541 - Well, why don't we make this easy on ourselves 127 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:55,378 and renew your existing contract with a 3% increase? 128 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,380 - Okay. 129 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:58,900 Sorry it took me so long to answer. 130 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,401 I was just thinking about how weird it is 131 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,593 that we eat birds. 132 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,386 - All right, we have a deal. 133 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,222 You see how easy negotiating 134 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,074 can be when it's not really about money. 135 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,226 - How's this really not about money? 136 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,394 - Well obviously you don't need to work. 137 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,355 What's that now, Charles? 138 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,565 - I'm just saying you made $300 million 139 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,400 last year so there's no financial need 140 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,292 for you to continue with the show, but... 141 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,905 - I never thought of it like that. 142 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,406 Thank you. 143 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,700 I quit. Good-bye. 144 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,286 - Uh, Tracy. 145 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,498 Had he really not put that together? 146 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,417 - Tracy's is a tactile kinesthetic learning style. 147 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:38,129 - Dotcom, so help me god... 148 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,528 - It's nice of those guys to give up their court for us. 149 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:48,014 - Yes, for us. 150 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,852 - So I should probably warn you I was pro in college. 151 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,395 - What? 152 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,872 - Yeah, I started teaching kids at the y 153 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,165 and then all their mothers wanted 154 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,482 to take private lessons from me. 155 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,294 But I promise I'll take it easy on you. 156 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:11,864 ♪ ♪ 157 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,330 - Oop... 158 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,547 - It's been a long time since college, huh? 159 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,215 - What do you mean? 160 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,427 - Excuse me. Do you give lessons? 161 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,394 - Now what is this? 162 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,647 - Dr. Drew's salmon bourguignon. 163 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,691 - What is this orangey taste? 164 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,402 - Gatorade. 165 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,041 That was awesome. 166 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,342 - Are you choking? Are... are you choking? 167 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,634 I'm a doctor. Stay calm. 168 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:07,904 Stay calm. I just need to... 169 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,721 I just need to shake it loose. 170 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,389 Wait, don't panic. 171 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,223 I just need to find something to push it down with. 172 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,058 Do you have a chopstick 173 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,478 or a fireplace match or something? 174 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:23,109 There you go. 175 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,278 - Jack, there you are. 176 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:25,987 I need to talk to you about something. 177 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,479 - The Tracy deal is a process. 178 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,241 Lemon, we are in process. 179 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,202 - No. Something happened with Drew. 180 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,203 - Oh, no. He's not a BFF. 181 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,704 - Ugh, no. Never. 182 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,247 It's the bubble. 183 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,659 He is a doctor who doesn't know the Heimlich maneuver. 184 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,543 He can't play tennis. He can't cook. 185 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,462 He's as bad at sex as I am. 186 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,547 But he has no idea. 187 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,967 That is the danger of being super handsome. 188 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,986 When you're in the bubble, nobody ever tells you the truth. 189 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,179 For years I thought I spoke excellent French. 190 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,393 - Drew deserves to be told the truth. 191 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,603 He's a good person who is a victim 192 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,148 of our nation's obscene cult of superficiality. 193 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,192 - Okay, Lemon, did you tell him 194 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,586 that he was no good in tennis? 195 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:05,986 - No, I let him win because 196 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,877 I wanted to make out with him in the cab. 197 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,533 It's not fair to let Drew live a lie. 198 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,265 And I think I'm the woman to fix him. 199 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,493 - Be careful, Lemon. 200 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,414 You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on. 201 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,083 - Or thanked... on. 202 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,210 Hey, Kenneth... 203 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,255 - Mr. Jordan quit. - What? 204 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,465 I thought you were in process. 205 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,477 - Tracy's taking a strong position right now 206 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,010 in the negotiation. 207 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,178 It's not unheard of for him to stay home 208 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,264 while I formulate my counter-proposal. 209 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,100 - What if it doesn't work? What if he doesn't come back? 210 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,577 Oh, no! 211 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,437 When I get upset my accent come out! 212 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,230 And when it gets to comin' out 213 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,274 I can't get to talkin' nuh-uh... 214 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,693 - Jack, I have a show on Friday. 215 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,611 - It will be rectified. 216 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:49,446 - I didn't mean to upset you, miss Lemon. 217 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,948 Mr. Donaghy told us not to tell you 218 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,300 but I couldn't hold it in anymore. 219 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,324 - Wait a minute. 220 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,845 Are you hiding your screw-up from me? 221 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,496 - Don't cling to this, Lemon. 222 00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,932 Be a Manager. 223 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,625 Control your people. Buy better clothes. 224 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,603 - I'm allowing this because I made a misstep. 225 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,627 I'm handling it. 226 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,464 And Tracy will be here by Friday night. 227 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,090 - Just get it done. 228 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,343 Nope, I lost it. That was Batman. 229 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,474 - Thank you team Jenna for being here. 230 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,642 Obviously my today show charity haircut 231 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,534 is just the first step in my reinvention. 232 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,313 - This is serial killer language. 233 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,207 - My mother's boyfriend raised me to believe 234 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,275 that a woman's hair is her crowning glory. 235 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,919 A haircut can make or break a career. 236 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:29,611 Before the Rachel, 237 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,297 Jennifer Aniston was just a chunky nobody 238 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,655 who couldn't get a job. 239 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,240 - Wasn't she already on friends? 240 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,926 - Richard Esposito, move to the back. 241 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,952 But if I make the wrong choice, 242 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,388 I could end up like keri Russell, 243 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,413 Felicity, season two. 244 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,998 Okay let's brainstorm. 245 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,459 Everyone shout out words that describe my beauty. 246 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,044 - Fading. - '80s. 247 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,336 - 1880s. 248 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,465 - Hey, you needed me? 249 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,509 - Lemon, you know Rick from accounting. 250 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:53,801 - I don't. Hi. 251 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,678 - Hi, nice to meet you. 252 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,681 - I have arranged for one of Tracy's childhood idols 253 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,226 to reach out to him. 254 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,021 - Hello? - Tracy, this is Jack. 255 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,482 I have someone here who wants to speak with you. 256 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,734 Tracy, this is bill Cosby. 257 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,456 - Really? This is your strategy? 258 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,362 - I heard him do this at a party. 259 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,197 - I want you to come back 260 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,074 to the TGS for the people 261 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,686 who like the jokes and the things. 262 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,452 - Bill Cosby, you got a lot of nerve 263 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,370 getting on the phone with me 264 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,622 after what you did to my aunt Paulette! 265 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,250 - I think you're confusing me with someone else. 266 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,293 - 1971, Cincinnati. 267 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,338 She was the cocktail waitress with the droopy eye. 268 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,382 - I'm the guy with the pudding... 269 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,259 - Try to tell me what to do? 270 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,303 Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable with your light-ass kids. 271 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,431 Jack, why would you make me talk to this man? 272 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,058 - Uh, Tracy, don't hang up. 273 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,430 Yeah, Tracy, this is Billy Dee Williams. 274 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,830 I just want to say I love your work. 275 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,856 It's very smooth. 276 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,700 - Hey. Sorry I'm late. 277 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,410 Why are you waiting here? 278 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,702 - Well, I put our name in 279 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,972 but it's gonna be a 45-minute wait. 280 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,206 - What? I'll go talk to the hostess. 281 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,041 - No. I want to show you something. 282 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,044 We're going to wait for the table. 283 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,131 - Okay. 284 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,425 I hate this. 285 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,386 - Yeah. This is gonna be unpleasant. 286 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,055 - As Tracy's family and inner circle, 287 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,557 I wanted to enlist your help. 288 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101 While I'm sure all of you treasure him being home more... 289 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,145 - I'm sorry. You want our help 290 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,479 with your problem? 291 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,691 Donaghy, you need to get our father back to work. 292 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,108 - That's what I'm trying to do. 293 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,111 - You want to see what he packed me for lunch today? 294 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,071 Mayonnaise... 295 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,656 And a pack of cigarettes. 296 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,948 - That is unfortunate. 297 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,576 - He set up a home recording studio 298 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,868 in our rec room. 299 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,455 - ♪ My girl has a fat neck ♪ 300 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,415 I'm sharp. Let's do it again. 301 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,376 - Thanks to you, I now have an unemployed father. 302 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,308 You trying to make a stereotype out of me? 303 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,088 Did you even vote for Obama? 304 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,566 - We've heard from Tracy junior. 305 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,590 Where is your mother? 306 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,198 - She said she had to take a spa week 307 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,224 at canyon ranch before my dad broke it in half. 308 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,790 What's that even supposed to mean? 309 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,568 I shouldn't have to hear that. I'm a child! 310 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,350 - Tracy junior, George foreman, 311 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,122 I want to get your father back to work 312 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,436 just as much as you do. 313 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,568 But what do I offer the man who has everything? 314 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,232 I don't know what to do. 315 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,163 - I didn't come here to hear more excuses. 316 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,111 I came here to see the dumbest cracker in all of New York. 317 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,030 You gotta fix this, Donaghy. Fix this! 318 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,491 - You know I don't see it on the menu 319 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,035 but I would love a catfish po'boy 320 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,995 and a diet raspberry Fanta. 321 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:26,996 - Oh, that is a great idea. 322 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,666 Let me order that for you. Excuse me. 323 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,543 We will have a Turkey burger deluxe 324 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,172 and a catfish po'boy with a diet raspberry Fanta. 325 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,904 - I'm gonna come back in five minutes 326 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,425 you try to order off the menu again 327 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,178 I will smack those glasses off your face. 328 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:46,557 - Okay, thank you. - Your welcome. 329 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,017 - What was that? 330 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,662 Why didn't she call you "sweetheart?" 331 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,955 And where's the complimentary app sampler? 332 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,021 What's going on? 333 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,066 - Okay, Drew, this is how most people live. 334 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,111 See because of your whole, you know, 335 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,446 Disney prince thing... 336 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,058 - Actually they used footage of me 337 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,300 from my high school swim team to draw prince Eric. 338 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,324 - Right. 339 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,203 Because of that you live in a bubble 340 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,247 where people do what you want 341 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,599 and tell you what you want to hear. 342 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,041 - Oh, I don't think that's true. 343 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,936 - Drew, I'm going to tell you this for your own good. 344 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,004 You can't put Gatorade on salmon. 345 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,714 - Yes, you can. 346 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,275 The hot Italian lady from the food network told me so. 347 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,092 - Did she say it on TV? 348 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,279 - No, she said it to me when she jumped escalators 349 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:28,016 to try to talk to... oh. 350 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,708 Well, I don't want to live that way. 351 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,869 I don't want you to treat me that way. 352 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,186 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 353 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,188 Liz, I'm an adult. 354 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,942 You can be honest with me. I can take it. 355 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,281 - That's game. Your serve. 356 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,994 - That's it! I quit! 357 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,955 This racquet is a fart and you... you cheat! 358 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,624 You're a cheating bitch! 359 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,966 - Kenneth, I need your help. 360 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,385 You know Tracy quite well, wouldn't you say? 361 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,928 - Oh, I know Mr. Jordan 362 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,972 like the back of my stepfather Ron's hand. 363 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,974 I know all his atm pin codes. 364 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,185 I know when he's cranky and needs his binky. 365 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,271 I know that by binky he means 1970s pornography. 366 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,940 - So how is he functioning without you? 367 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,984 - Oh, I'm still doing everything for him. 368 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,986 Tonight I have to ride my bike 369 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,505 over to his house in New Jersey 370 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,590 to hold his hand during lost. 371 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,240 - That's it, Kenneth. Don't you see? 372 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,285 You're our ace in the hole. - How dare you! 373 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,120 - You're what I've been looking for. 374 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,165 The one thing at TGS that Tracy cannot live without. 375 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,710 Now Kenneth, I need you to cut Tracy off completely. 376 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,004 - Oh, I don't know if I could do that. 377 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,398 - You want him to come back, don't you? 378 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,007 This is the only way. 379 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,903 Don't answer that. It could be Tracy. 380 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,762 - But I have to answer the phones. 381 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,138 That's my job. 382 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,521 Hello. Studio 6h. 383 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,107 This is... Cranston. 384 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,317 - Oh, hey Cranston, I was looking for Kenneth. 385 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,403 - He's not here. 386 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:08,241 But I'm sure wherever he is, he loves you very much. 387 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,209 - Liz, you seem really stressed out. 388 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,561 Do you want to talk about what's going on? 389 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,212 - I just hope it's not a mistake. 390 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,505 - Well, maybe it is. 391 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:23,941 But you have to listen to your heart. 392 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,551 - Yeah, but why meddle with something that was great? 393 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,636 - Oh, Liz. It'll grow back. 394 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,928 - What? 395 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,683 - We're talking about my hair, right? 396 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,350 - ♪ Fat neck girl ♪ 397 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,521 ♪ let me count your neck rings ♪ 398 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,691 I'm thirsty! 399 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:46,237 Family! Who's in charge of my thirst? 400 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:55,037 Cranston, why hasn't Kenneth called me back yet? 401 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,040 I miss him. 402 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:02,086 Cranston, why are you crying? 403 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,423 - This is too hard, Mr. Donaghy. 404 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,217 I cannot stand by while Mr. Jordan dies of dehydration 405 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,094 in his recording studio. 406 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,931 Plus, I've started to dream as Cranston. 407 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,058 Kenneth, the more desperate Tracy becomes 408 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,510 the more our plan is working. 409 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,287 The next thing he'll do is show up here. 410 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,189 He'll demand you go with him. You say no. 411 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,357 Stay strong and he'll cave. 412 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,649 Trust me. 413 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,110 - I hope your right, Mr. Donaghy. 414 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,988 Because you're playing with people's lives here. 415 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,618 - Don't you think I know that? 416 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,412 - We are back with sketch comedian Jenna Maroney. 417 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,331 - Thank you, Meredith. 418 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,703 But please, I'm not a hero. 419 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,226 I'm just trying to raise awareness 420 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,730 that I'm more than just that hot chick 421 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:43,920 on Tracy Jordan's show. 422 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,421 So this is for locks of love? 423 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:46,940 - No, locks of love turned me down. 424 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,150 They said my hair was too processed 425 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:48,841 for a sick person to wear. 426 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,551 But this is for a wonderful charity 427 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,512 called merkins of hope. 428 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,138 - Okay. 429 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,430 Let's make the big cut. 430 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,101 - So what about that crazy news that Tracy Jordan 431 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,978 has quit TGS? - What? 432 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,523 - Oh, yeah, word is he quit over a contract dispute. 433 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,574 Guess you're the only star left on that show. 434 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,252 - No, no... stop! Stop cutting my hair! 435 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,486 I don't need this anymore! 436 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:09,778 Oh! 437 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,947 - It's okay. 438 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,449 It's okay. I can fix this. 439 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,037 - Jack, is Tracy still not here? 440 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,164 We have three hours before the show. 441 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,309 - Security told me that he's in the building, Pete, 442 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,043 so it's working. 443 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,713 Now it's all up to Kenneth Ellen Parcell. 444 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,006 - Hey, Ken. 445 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:29,966 I've been calling you. 446 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,343 Has Cranston not been giving you my messages? 447 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,929 - No. He told me. 448 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,348 - Yeah, well... don't worry. 449 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,141 Just came to get a few of my things. 450 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,561 Then I won't bother you. 451 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,568 All right, I guess that's everything. 452 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,987 But I want you to know 453 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,339 if I walk out that door, Ken, 454 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,948 I'm not gonna call again. 455 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,326 It's over. You understand? 456 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,123 - I can't do this. 457 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,043 I'm sorry, Mr. Donaghy, but I can't. 458 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,713 Mr. Donaghy wanted me to stop talking to you 459 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,005 so you'd come back. 460 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300 - So you used Cranston as his gatekeeper. 461 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,510 - I'm very disappointed, Kenneth. 462 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,802 - I know. I blew it. 463 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,432 I guess I'm only farm strong and not heart strong. 464 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,724 Fine. Go and help him. 465 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,119 I shouldn't have tried to manipulate 466 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,394 the two of you that way. 467 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,746 But I will need you to turn in 468 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,063 your page jacket. 469 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,357 - What? 470 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,529 - Well, your main duty was taking care of Tracy. 471 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,445 Tracy no longer works here. 472 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,989 Therefore your services are no longer required. 473 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,074 - As a page? 474 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,327 Oh, no! 475 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,762 - Wait a minute. You want to fire my boy Ken? 476 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,264 - Stay out of this, Tracy. It's not your concern. 477 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,373 - Unless. - Unless what? 478 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,209 - You said Kenneth can't work here because I don't work here. 479 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,046 But if I work here, so can Kenneth. 480 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,547 - I don't understand. 481 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,215 - Of course you don't, you idiot. 482 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,134 I'm coming back to work, Jack. 483 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,178 With Kenneth! 484 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,614 - Damn you and your meddling. 485 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,139 - I'll be in my dressing room. 486 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,892 - That a boy, tray. Come on. 487 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:09,065 - I've got to get back into that bubble. 488 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,115 - Sir, you are pulling that look off. 489 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,927 - I wanted to apologize for my behavior 490 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,345 the other day on the tennis court. 491 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,828 That is not who I am. 492 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,348 But you made me feel like a loser. 493 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,372 - 'Cause you lost. 494 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,084 Okay, maybe I shouldn't have done that to you. 495 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,252 But you have so much potential. 496 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,046 - But I'm happy this way. 497 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,090 I didn't like it outside the bubble. 498 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,175 Liz, it was very ironic. 499 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,467 - No, it wasn't. 500 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,302 That's not how you use that word... 501 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,220 - Stop it. 502 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,555 I want to use ironic however I want. 503 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,266 I want to stay in the bubble, Liz. 504 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,185 And I want you in there with me. 505 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:49,230 Come on. 506 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,522 Come away with me. 507 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,067 We can go upstate on my new motorcycle. 508 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,446 - Oh, boy, Drew. 509 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,408 I don't think this is going to work. 510 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,536 - Okay. 511 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,580 I guess I'll see you around then. 512 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,290 Or as the French say, 513 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,963 - Yeah. I'll see you around.