1 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,508 Lemon. 2 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,720 Which of these pictures do you like better? 3 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,516 Um, the one on the left? 4 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,808 So the wacky one. 5 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,061 Sure. What's the picture for? 6 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,896 I'm giving the keynote address 7 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,773 at the company's Six Sigma retreat 8 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,275 to move forward in croton-on-Hudson. 9 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,045 Ugh. Is that like a corporate retreat? 10 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,713 I used to have to perform at those all the time 11 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,864 back when Jenna and I were in that improv troupe. 12 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:34,159 The audience suggestion is sling blade and Oprah 13 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,451 on a date. 14 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,792 I sure do like them French fried pataters. 15 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,961 No, you don't, Oprah. 16 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,713 Jenna is not a great improviser. 17 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:50,092 To be honest, Lemon, uh, 18 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,469 I'm a little apprehensive about going to this thing. 19 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,263 I haven't seen a lot of these people 20 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,931 since the CEO debacle 21 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,350 and my... time in the... 22 00:00:58,642 --> 00:00:59,642 Bush administration. 23 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,811 Yeah, Jack, you never really told me what happened 24 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,230 in Washington. 25 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,276 Please be gentle. 26 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,088 The point is a lot has happened to me 27 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,363 since the retreat last year. 28 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,864 So I hope that when I return, 29 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,676 they still think of me as the same guy. 30 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:15,826 You've got camp jitters. 31 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,244 What? You haven't seen 32 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,972 your little business camp friends in a year, 33 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,756 and now you're afraid everybody's gonna think 34 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:21,831 you got weird. 35 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,417 Uh, Lemon, the retreat to move forward 36 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,003 is a global meeting of ge's best and brightest. 37 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,588 Careers are made there. 38 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,559 It would be helpful to have someone with me 39 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,591 who's got my back. 40 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,843 Ugh, no. Don't make me be your camp friend. 41 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,335 I hate those corporate things. 42 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,346 Bunch of drunk people talking about synergy. 43 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,078 First of all, never badmouth synergy. 44 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,684 And I'm asking you to do this as a favor. 45 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,186 Oh, fine! I'll go. For you. 46 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:44,798 As long as this place has a spa... 47 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,065 They do. Where you are allowed to eat in the sauna. 48 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,569 Because at some places, they get mad. 49 00:01:55,741 --> 00:02:03,741 ♪ ♪ 50 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,510 Writers, we need to gather for an actor announcement. 51 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,721 As you probably know, 52 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:21,016 I have been cast in an upcoming feature film. 53 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,494 Is it a movie where you swap brains with your granddaughter? 54 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,978 No, Frank. 55 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,105 I will be playing Janis joplin. 56 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,774 Or depending on how 57 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,146 some legal matters pan out, 58 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:34,321 a Janis joplin-type character named Janet Jopler 59 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,947 or Janie Jimplin. 60 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,616 Why are you telling us this? 61 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,189 Because I will be employing the "method" method of acting. 62 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,283 So for the next few weeks, 63 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,372 I will only respond to "Janis" or "miss joplin." 64 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,024 If you're nasty. 65 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,918 If anyone has anything to say to me, Jenna, 66 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,354 now would be your last chance. 67 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,378 Oh, your hands are weird. 68 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,898 I don't think you went to high school. 69 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,232 I'm not busy Friday. I just said I was. 70 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,299 Okay. I am Janis now. 71 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,928 You are all saying those things to Janis joplin. 72 00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,763 The veil is drawn. 73 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,390 Oh, hey. 74 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,962 You should do your Janis research 75 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,016 on Wikipedia. 76 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,228 It's online, so anyone can update it. 77 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,480 You know, 'cause people are finding out new things 78 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,399 about Janis joplin every day. 79 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,691 Really? Yeah. 80 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,152 Oh, thank you, Frank. 81 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,948 Wikipedia. I'm gonna check that out. 82 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:22,911 Okay, I'm on Wikipedia. 83 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:23,870 Edit page. 84 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,123 Did you know that Janis joplin 85 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,043 speed walked everywhere and was afraid of toilets? 86 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,628 I have heard that. Yes. 87 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,171 Was she really? 88 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,592 So how am I lookin', Dr. Spaceman? 89 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:42,305 Well, Tracy, I-I don't know how to say this. 90 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,142 Dee-ay-buh-tees. 91 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,060 Diabetes? 92 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,979 That's it. 93 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,581 Well, now we know what we're dealing with. 94 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,817 Unless you make some serious lifestyle changes, 95 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,528 you're in danger of becoming diabetic. 96 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,197 So how bad is diabetes, really? 97 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,115 It's quite serious. 98 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,367 If left untreated, you could lose a foot. 99 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:06,121 Could I replace it with a wheel, like Rosie from the jetsons? 100 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,415 I suppose. 101 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:13,003 But then you'd have to register as a motor vehicle. 102 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,818 Well, buddy, here we go. 103 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,761 Bases loaded. Bottom of the ninth. 104 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,680 Are you gonna step up? Oh, yeah. 105 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:29,394 Because it's winning time, you magnificent son of a bitch! 106 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,896 You go in there and show them. 107 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,207 Make mommy proud of her big boy because he's the best. 108 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,734 Just do it. Is it in you? I'm loving it! 109 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,527 Are you okay? 110 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,071 Oh, I'm sorry, I was just, uh... 111 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,083 Were you psyching yourself up in the mirror? 112 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,451 I do that sometimes before I go to a party 113 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,103 where I don't know a lot of people. 114 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,621 Stop sweating, you idiot. 115 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,916 What is wrong with you, you stupid bitch! 116 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,334 I wish you hadn't seen that. 117 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,346 It's okay. Now you're ready to get in there. 118 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,213 You're psyched up. You got your camp buddy. 119 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,173 Just do it. 120 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:00,717 You are a lion. 121 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,886 Take what's yours. 122 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,478 There they are. 123 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,189 The six sigmas themselves. 124 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,065 They're dudes? 125 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,608 Each of them embodies a pillar 126 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,568 of the Six Sigma business philosophy. 127 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:22,280 Teamwork. Insight. Brutality 128 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,157 male enhancement. 129 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,449 Handshakefulness. 130 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,160 And play hard. 131 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,452 Wish me luck. 132 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,084 Men, if I'd known your wives were alone, 133 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,128 I would've stayed in New York. 134 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,799 Jack Donaghy. 135 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,318 We've been waiting all day for you to show up. 136 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,342 Uh, this is my friend... 137 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,135 The guys over in war machines 138 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,805 have been dying to see you. 139 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,183 The Finulus data suggest we should be leveraging 140 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,852 disintermediation paradigms. 141 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,583 Well, obviously, the finular analysis 142 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,021 will concur with any synergized 143 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,353 mindshare classifications. 144 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,649 Bladorian Frankles. 145 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,317 Hi. I'm Liz. 146 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,112 I'm Prashant. This is Joan. 147 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,030 We're M-7S. What level are you? 148 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,616 Oh, no. I'm just here with my friend. 149 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,243 Or I was. 150 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,287 So you're like a g or an h? 151 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,080 No, I'm not part of this. 152 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,957 I'm not any letter. 153 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,960 J? 154 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,484 Morning, Mr. Jordan. 155 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,708 What's that on your foot, sir? 156 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:25,969 It's a practice wheel 157 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,179 for when I lose my foot to diabetes. 158 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,016 You can't eat candy if you have diabetes. 159 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,268 There's no link between diabetes and diet. 160 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,395 That's a white myth, Ken. 161 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,856 Like Larry bird or Colorado. 162 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,190 It's not a myth. 163 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,543 Gentlemen, back me up here. 164 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,567 I don't know. 165 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,778 My dad had diabetes, and he ate whatever he wanted 166 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,304 until he died on the day I was born. 167 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,449 How do you not see the connection? 168 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,200 You know, 169 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,572 there's a conspiracy theory that after the civil war, 170 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,465 the U.S. government spread false information 171 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,039 about diabetes... 172 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,874 Word. 173 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,019 To keep the newly-freed slaves sluggish and docile. 174 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,443 And I heard that from Yusef Jackson. 175 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,147 Which is why to this day, most African Americans 176 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,565 don't understand that diabetes is caused 177 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,716 by sleeping on your back. 178 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,319 I don't think that's right. 179 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,386 Diabetes and diet. 180 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,678 Next you'll be telling me that leasing a sports car 181 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,557 is a bad investment! 182 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,355 Hey, nice suit, squaresville. 183 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:19,898 Where's the bank? 184 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,317 Oh. What can I do for you miss... Jimplin? 185 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,444 Well, according to my Wikipedia page, 186 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,112 I'm gonna need some cherry juice, 187 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,404 buttermilk, and Tequila 188 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,283 to make my signature Janis joplin cocktail, 189 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,160 the frankschlong. 190 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,082 Good grief. 191 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,792 Thank you so much. 192 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,227 Hey, Jack, where you been hiding? 193 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,021 Oh, Lemon, there you are. I'm sorry I got distracted. 194 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,047 Yeah. Seems like you don't need your camp buddy. 195 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,674 I know. It's going great. 196 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,968 I'm actually joining the six sigmas for lunch. 197 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,719 Oh, okay. 198 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,011 I like lunch. 199 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,556 Right. Yes. 200 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,475 Well... join us. 201 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,268 Okay. 202 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,107 What is this? It's L.U.N.C.H. 203 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,484 Lego utilization for negating crisis hierarchies. 204 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,528 It's a competitive teambuilding exercise 205 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,321 where one person directs his teammates 206 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,973 in the construction of a lego model 207 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:10,865 that only he can see. 208 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:14,035 Lemon, why don't you join team Donaghy? 209 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,763 We'll win this thing, and then we'll go to C.L.A.S.S. 210 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:16,987 I don't want to go to a class. 211 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,248 No, Lemon, C.L.A.S.S. 212 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,207 It's an acronym 213 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,018 for "consuming lunch and simple socializing." 214 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:25,505 Now that just seems intentionally confusing. 215 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,015 K. 216 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,892 What's up with this disgusting stuff? 217 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,184 Mr. Jordan, 218 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,979 I've seen too many folks back home 219 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,023 die of diabetes and go-kart accidents 220 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,150 to sit idly by while you ruin your health. 221 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,152 You need to eat better. 222 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,112 N-o-e. 223 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,031 No. E. 224 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,909 Okay, Mr. Jordan. Whatever you like. 225 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,079 I just hope don't you get eaten by the hill witch. 226 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,371 Hmm? What's that? 227 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,041 I didn't say anything. 228 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:05,128 Oh, you want to hear tell of the hill witch? 229 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,049 My meemaw saw her once taking away a boy 230 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,967 who wouldn't eat his vegetables. 231 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,011 She's a shriveled crone, 232 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,180 1,000 years old. 233 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,682 One look turns you to stone, 234 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:22,187 and then she gorges on your living brain. 235 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,189 Through the stone? 236 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,347 Really, Ken? That was your plan. 237 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,903 Doubt me if you dare. 238 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:33,281 But beware the omens of her coming. 239 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,033 Crops will fail. 240 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,993 Animals will run wild. 241 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:41,581 And my page desk will be turned sideways. 242 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,210 ♪ Oooooh ♪ 243 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:50,131 Frank, you have got to check out Maroney. 244 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,551 Your Wikipedia prank is inspired. 245 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,054 Okay, Janis did it. 246 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,472 You can do it. 247 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,186 I'm gonna do it. 248 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:04,521 I'm gonna eat this cat. 249 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,107 Janis, don't! That's from alf. 250 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,398 Alf ate cats. 251 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,650 What? 252 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,221 I put all that stuff on Wikipedia. 253 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:11,861 None of it's true. 254 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,571 W... why would you do that? 255 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,198 I'm sorry. 256 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,801 I didn't know you were gonna take it so seriously. 257 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,952 Well, of course I'm taking it seriously. 258 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,121 This is my chance to win an Oscar. 259 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,540 The academy loves dead singers and the handicapped, 260 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,832 and Janis was both. 261 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,961 No, she wasn't. Her legs bent the right way. What? 262 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,588 I speed walked home on these. 263 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,298 You pathetic load! 264 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,260 You mess with me because your life is miserable. 265 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,304 Because you're disgusting! 266 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,807 What? Nothing. 267 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,179 Just, you're yellin' at me. 268 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,103 You're a mess. You're joplined out on Tequila. 269 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,104 It's kinda workin' for me. 270 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,772 Ugh. Are you turned on right now? 271 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,064 What is wrong with you? 272 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,234 I've got a thing for damaged goods. 273 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:55,029 But if you can get this raw in the movie, 274 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,948 you are gonna win the Oscar. 275 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,240 Really? 276 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,669 Two minutes. 277 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:10,961 Don't stop talking, Jack. 278 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,547 Always be talking! 279 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,839 Hands in pockets, Joan. 280 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,385 Prashant, your job is to watch Joan. 281 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,929 Say something, haircut. 282 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,324 Well, you can't have more wheels on one side than the other. 283 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,892 Uh-doyee! 284 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,504 It goes on top. It's a smokestack. 285 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,563 Whoo! Ha ha! 286 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,023 Yeah! 287 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,315 Ha ha ha! 288 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,609 Suck it, nerds! 289 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,444 Whoo! 290 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,380 What happened to you, Donaghy? What do you mean? 291 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,947 That woman is a subordinate of yours. 292 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,633 Her behavior is totally inappropriate. 293 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,993 Familiarity. Nicknameification. 294 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,445 And you seem to encourage it. 295 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,913 Well, Lemon is unique. 296 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,289 Whoo! Okay. 297 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,209 But the old Jack Donaghy wouldn't have stood for that. 298 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,003 Sorry! 299 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,173 I dropped it when I was pretending it was my penis! 300 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,967 Robot penis. 301 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:01,346 Ha ha. We won! 302 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,435 Oh, hey, Jenna. 303 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,021 Um, about last night... 304 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,522 Oh, god. 305 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,500 I just want to make sure you haven't told anyone 306 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,524 what happened. 307 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,253 I have a lot of irons in the fire around here. 308 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,597 You'll keep it to yourself, right? 309 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,365 Oh, yes. Of course. 310 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,657 Thank you. 311 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,741 Yeah. 312 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,328 Wait. I'm sorry. 313 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,056 You don't want people to know about us? 314 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,789 Oh, god, no. 315 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,499 I mean, it's so embarrassing. 316 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,085 Yeah, for me. You should want to brag about it. 317 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,295 Don't worry about that. Last night was stupid. 318 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,587 Stupid, Frank! 319 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,257 No, last night was the best thing 320 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,668 that's ever happened to you. 321 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,551 It was my mistake, not yours. 322 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:41,862 I'm the one who had to take 323 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,166 the silkwood shower this morning. 324 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,057 Okay, fine. Whatever. But you'll be cool about this? 325 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,433 You... 326 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,602 The one... who cool... should be. 327 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,479 Oh, all right. Cool. 328 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,607 Wha... 329 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,442 What the hell was that? 330 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,196 First of all, 331 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,508 there's an omelet bar downstairs. 332 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,076 So you should probably go get yourself an omelet. 333 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,528 Second, I want to see if your room is bigger than mine. 334 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:11,040 Oh, you have a sitting area? You jag. 335 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,126 Uh, please come in. 336 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,426 Lemon, I give you a certain amount of leeway at work. 337 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:22,719 But while we're here, 338 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,805 I need you to behave appropriately. 339 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,177 What are you talking about? 340 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,784 Well, the, uh, nicknames, the arm punching, 341 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:29,808 the familiarity. 342 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,060 The way you were behaving 343 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,520 at L.U.N.C.H. 344 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:36,024 You can't say "uh-doyee" to me in mixed company. 345 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,401 Oh. Okay. 346 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,279 So when I helped you win that lego thing... 347 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,251 When I thought we were having fun together, 348 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,444 I was actually embarrassing you, is that right, Jack? 349 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,994 While we're here, I need you to call me Mr. Donaghy. 350 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,620 I get it. 351 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,706 You brought me here in case you needed me. 352 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,958 But now that you have your cool Six Sigma friends, 353 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,561 I can go back to the lake with the fat kids 354 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:56,961 and make bracelets. 355 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,439 Lemon, you know how important this is to me. 356 00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,005 I've got my speech tonight. 357 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,798 Yeah, don't worry. I get boundaries. 358 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,860 Ooh, sorry, Liz, my parent's basement only has room 359 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,260 for five sleeping bags. 360 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,721 Or, no, I'll come over after prom 361 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,431 and we'll make nachos together. 362 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,117 Lemon, this is a part of our problem. 363 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,741 I give you a simple managerial suggestion 364 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,019 in a professional context, 365 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,391 and I get back the second half of a Judy Blume novel. 366 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,106 Whatever. This place is dumb. 367 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,625 We're gonna be back at work tomorrow. 368 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,234 Let's not make this bigger than it is. 369 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,153 Too late. Friendship over. 370 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,238 Good lord. 371 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,453 Like a waitress. 372 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:40,463 Mr. Jordan, I am begging you, as a friend, to eat better. 373 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,795 I just don't want to see anything bad happen to you. 374 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,092 I'm fine, Ken. 375 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,512 I have so much energy, my hand keeps dancin'. 376 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,472 I just don't know what has to happen 377 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182 for you to start... 378 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,935 Oh, no! The signs! 379 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,728 My desk is sideways! 380 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,355 The hill witch approaches. 381 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,525 Ooh! 382 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:05,363 Dudes, the craziest thing happened to me last night. 383 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,156 You're not gonna believe it. 384 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,728 But I found the secret skate park 385 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,034 in Grand Theft Auto iv! 386 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,326 Nice. Yeah. 387 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,330 Are you seriously talking about video games? 388 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,666 Oh, hey, Jenna. What's up? 389 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,626 How dare you? 390 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,198 How dare you be cool about this. 391 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,548 Frank and I hooked up last night, okay? 392 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,240 Oh, stop acting like you're ashamed. 393 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,465 I'm the one who's ashamed. 394 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,136 It's disgusting, right? 395 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,304 I slutted it up on this dirtbag. 396 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,764 It is disgusting. 397 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,099 Thank you, Lutz. 398 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,392 Jenna, this is a mistake. 399 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,894 No. Last night was a mistake. 400 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,857 This is a victory for hot women everywhere. 401 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,409 So what are we doin' after this? 402 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,870 Uh, Prashant and I have plans. 403 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,162 Did you guys hook up? 404 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,873 What happens in croton-on-Hudson 405 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,459 stays in croton-on-Hudson. 406 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,750 Uh, miss Lemon, 407 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:01,835 I do still have a seat 408 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,463 at my table up front. 409 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,214 No, thank you, Mr. Donaghy. 410 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,758 I'm happier here. Prashant, that is my foot. 411 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:08,718 My wrongness. 412 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,386 'Scuse me, Mr. Donaghy 413 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:14,140 I need to put a microphone on you for your speech. 414 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,146 I can't believe you don't want to sit with Jack Donaghy. 415 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,940 He's not that great. You guys are my friends. 416 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,485 We should start calling ourselves the three musketeers. 417 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,028 Not. 418 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,734 That's a good one, Prashant. 419 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,617 So I heard about you and Frank. 420 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,410 Ugh, I know. It's hard to believe. 421 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,513 Now dog the bounty hunter's the second grossest guy 422 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,705 I've been with. 423 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,837 You shouldn't have done that with Frank, Jenna. 424 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:40,999 Tell me about it. 425 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,752 Because he's mine! 426 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,712 Wait, what are you doing? 427 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,632 Ow. Why is my scalp burning more than usual? 428 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,383 I told you not to tell anyone! 429 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,427 Ow, what are you doing to my hair?! 430 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,430 You stay away from my Frank! 431 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,392 Who is with my Frank? 432 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,271 Katie. Euzebia. Please, let me explain. 433 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,275 Hmm. 434 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,610 What is this? 435 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,489 Eat your vegetables. 436 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,160 Damn, k, that is weak! 437 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,828 I'm a 40-year-old man! 438 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,498 You think I'm gonna be scared into eating some stuff 439 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,990 because of some... look at me! 440 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,793 I'm a monster! 441 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,085 Aah! 442 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,211 Aah! 443 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,379 Oh, hill witch, 444 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,130 I renounce everything! 445 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,715 Cover your brain! 446 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:38,975 Oh, come on, guys. 447 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,786 Okay, uh, your microphone 448 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,936 is all set. 449 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,497 I'll come back right before your speech 450 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,521 to turn it on. 451 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,958 And thanks for being so cool with me. 452 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:46,982 This is my first day 453 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,442 No problem. 454 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,829 Well, buddy, here we go. 455 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:01,121 Bottom of the ninth. 456 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,623 Bases loaded. 457 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,252 Oh, yeah. It's winning time, you magnificent son of a bitch! 458 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,544 What is that? 459 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,587 It's his psych-up speech. 460 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,298 He doesn't know his microphone is on. 461 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,383 We gotta tell him. Why would we? 462 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:16,053 When a big one falls, four little ones move up. 463 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,264 You go in there and show those turds who's boss. 464 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,969 Make mommy proud of her big boy because he's the best! 465 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,104 Just do it. Is it in you? I'm loving it! 466 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,540 Just don't say your name, Jack. 467 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:27,648 Please don't say your name. 468 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,360 You are Jack Donaghy titan. Maverick. Lover. 469 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,655 'Scuse me. Where is the bathroom? 470 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,619 Your mic is on in the ballroom. 471 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,496 What? How much did they hear? 472 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,915 Everything. 473 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,543 Oh, god, I'm ruined. 474 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,742 I'm never gonna live this down. 475 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,672 They're gonna talk about this forever. 476 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,507 No, no, no. I'll help you. 477 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,384 It's gonna be okay. 478 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,179 I got nothin'. 479 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,267 Whoo! What's up, Six Sigma? 480 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,438 It's Liz Lemon from the entertainment division. 481 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,358 I just fooled y'all with my Jack Donaghy impression, 482 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:14,028 where I say crazy things that he would never say. 483 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,239 So let's maximize our fun quadrant tonight. 484 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,533 Shout out any other impression you want to hear 485 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,118 and I... I'll do it. I dare ya. 486 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,119 Do Jack Donaghy again! 487 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,746 No. What else? 488 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,749 How about Cher? Do Cher! Al Pacino! 489 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,335 I believe I heard sling blade! 490 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,938 Mm, I love them French fried pataters. 491 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:32,588 Get off! 492 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,880 What's that? 493 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,328 Mrs. Cunningham from happy days? 494 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:38,511 Oh, Howard. Oh, Arthur. 495 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,098 What's your name, guy? 496 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:42,932 Dave. 497 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,384 And what's the craziest thing 498 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,602 that's happened to you this weekend, Dave? 499 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,105 Hearing Jack Donaghy talk on that microphone. 500 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:56,320 Well, uh, not anymore, 'cause check this out. 501 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,739 ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 502 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,536 ♪ Bow bow bow bow bow bow ♪ 503 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:04,995 ♪ bow bow bow ♪ ♪ 504 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:07,915 Lemon, that was heroic. 505 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,126 And I think it actually worked. 506 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,937 A lot of people from the conference emailed me 507 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:14,171 to ask if I was there when the bra lady went crazy. 508 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,926 They completely forgot about me, so thank you. 509 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,218 Sure. 510 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,054 And I think it goes without saying 511 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:26,517 that you are banned from any future retreats. 512 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,602 I can't believe you did that for me. 513 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,355 That's what friends do, Jack. 514 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,066 Uh-doyee!