1 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,900 We're at a party, Lemon, try to loosen up a little. 2 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:07,924 How could I loosen up? 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,575 I'm in Connecticut, I haven't eaten, 4 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,845 and I'm stressed about an "away toilet" situation. 5 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,347 Do you know how lucky we are? 6 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,641 We are in Gavin Volure's home. 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,893 He was the C.E.O. of Sunstream. 8 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,520 Yeah, I don't know what that is. 9 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,938 Is this potpourri or chips? 10 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,373 'Cause I'm gonna try to eat it. 11 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,857 Volure is a god. 12 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,669 He was the first man to be on the cover 13 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,070 of fortune and jet magazine at the same time. 14 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,006 Of course, that was back when jet was actually 15 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,198 about jet ownership. 16 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,908 That magazine took a weird turn. 17 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,284 These are not chips. 18 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,411 Then he fell off the face of the earth, 19 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,703 sold Sunstream, 20 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,373 and shut himself off from the world. 21 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,683 They say he hasn't left his home 22 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:41,959 in almost three years. 23 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,710 Well, I hope he shows up for dinner. 24 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,547 He's already here. 25 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,259 Thank you all for coming tonight. 26 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,803 Because of my severe agoraphobia 27 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,722 and my debilitating wealth... 28 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,017 I am forced to bring the world to me, 29 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,854 and host dinners for interesting people from all walks of life. 30 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,024 The world of fashion, society, 31 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,476 art collecting and yelling... 32 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,836 Why isn't there any good art in here? 33 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,860 Come on! 34 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,392 Business and historical fiction. 35 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,572 Really? 36 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,378 What if the Germans had won the war, Lemon? 37 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,158 And the arts. 38 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,702 I'm glad Jack was able 39 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:17,661 to bring you, Liz. 40 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,673 I asked him about you after I saw your photo 41 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,707 in the style section of the New York times. 42 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,545 Funny story, I was only wearing that 43 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,381 because the fire alarm went off while I was getting a haircut. 44 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,383 Well, you looked beautiful. 45 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,675 And, as always, 46 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,553 I keep one chair empty, 47 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,223 to represent our unfulfilled hopes and dreams. 48 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,600 I'm just kidding, 49 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,451 eliot spitzer's hooker couldn't make it. 50 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,220 Now, I want to send my driver 51 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,539 into Manhattan to pick up dessert. 52 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,748 Anybody know a good place for cupcakes? 53 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,812 I think there's a place... 54 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:47,524 McEnroe, give me a break. 55 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,816 I'm on it. 56 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,194 77th and Amsterdam, 68th and Columbus, 57 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,363 125th and president Clinton boulevard, 58 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,781 also, don't over think it, 59 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,700 Sara Lee, frozen, unbelievable. 60 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:04,708 ♪ ♪ 61 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,391 Mr. Jordan, what are you still doing here? 62 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,644 I don't want to go home, Ken. 63 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,813 You know my two sons, Tracy, Jr. and George foreman? 64 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,942 They've been acting really weird lately. 65 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,239 Where you going? 66 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,451 Nowhere. 67 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,248 Those two have never paid me any attention. 68 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,667 And rightly so. 69 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,169 I'm a strange man who can't be taken seriously. 70 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,338 Now they won't let me out of their sight. 71 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,799 Oh, maybe they love you. Nope. 72 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,759 Look what the little one made me. 73 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,051 Aw, that's cute. 74 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,887 This is voodoo, Ken! 75 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,722 Those two are up to something. 76 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,643 Sometimes, kids act out when there's a big change. 77 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,935 I know I was a handful 78 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,355 when my family moved from our farm house 79 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,649 to that militia camp in the woods. 80 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,734 Well, there is all this new money coming in. 81 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,506 And it's not just from the video game. 82 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,738 It's the tie-ins, the toys, 83 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,782 the life-sized Tracy Jordan sex doll. 84 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,784 They're selling like hotcakes in Japan. 85 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,786 Well, you know what they say, 86 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,371 money is the root of all evil. 87 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,331 I thought that was just a tagline 88 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,834 for my movie, DEA th bank. 89 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,754 I can't believe you're out of the game. 90 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,464 It's like Picasso not painting, 91 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,758 or Bruce Willis not combining action 92 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,050 and rock harmonica. 93 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:38,844 Don't you miss it? 94 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,136 I do. 95 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,764 That's why I'm forming a new company. 96 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,056 Here's the pitch, 97 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,308 wind power, 98 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,352 bandwidth, Chinese market. 99 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,644 Oh, god. 100 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,089 I'm funding the whole thing myself. 101 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,398 Partners, oy. 102 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,024 Jack... 103 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:54,693 You're drooling. 104 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,505 If you want in, I'll make a little room 105 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,695 and pull some strings. 106 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,550 This is the most exciting day of my life. 107 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,634 And I was pulled onstage once 108 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,618 to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert. 109 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,910 Welcome aboard. 110 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:05,620 Just think, 111 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,931 this time next year, you'll be so rich 112 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,623 you can run for political office 113 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,810 without having to pretend to be a fundamentalist. 114 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,835 Jack, the car is here. 115 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,211 Oh. 116 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,504 Liz... 117 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:15,796 Thank you for coming. 118 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,079 I really enjoyed your cupcakes. 119 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,341 Ah. 120 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,433 And because my agoraphobia-related germ issues 121 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,754 prevent direct human contact, 122 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,931 I wonder if Carl here might say good night to you for me? 123 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,516 Carl? 124 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:28,727 Good night, Liz. 125 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,730 I hope to see you again soon. 126 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,149 Okay. 127 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,441 Good night. 128 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,822 Guys, listen up... 129 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,532 I just got a memo, 130 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,885 saying that every floor in the building 131 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,549 has to designate a floor emergency marshal 132 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,037 for fires, terrorist attacks, 133 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,329 Cloverfield monsters. 134 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,832 I can't do it, because my head is too big for the helmet. 135 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,667 So any volunteers? 136 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,079 No, but you have a big head. 137 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,088 That's not a burn, I just said that. 138 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,399 Hey, guys. 139 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,383 Cerie, is my phone ringing? 140 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,093 It is. 141 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,429 Wow, you have, like, dog ears. 142 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,890 So are you going to...? 143 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,390 Okay. 144 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,102 Hello? 145 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,103 Hey, Liz. 146 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:12,896 It's Gavin Volure. 147 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,856 Oh... hi. 148 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:15,774 Listen, I only took that napkin 149 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,734 because I wrapped some chicken in it. 150 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,106 That's not why I'm calling. 151 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,199 I just had a good time with you the other night, 152 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,949 and I wondered if you'd like to come out again this Saturday? 153 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,384 Are you having another party? 154 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,409 No. 155 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,953 Oh. 156 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,245 Well... 157 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,127 This must be what the kids call "a Booty call." 158 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,291 I haven't been out of the house since 2004, 159 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,002 and even I know the kids don't call it that anymore. 160 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,879 So, uh, what do you say? 161 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,048 Um, yes. 162 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:40,924 I guess. Right? 163 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:41,925 Okay 164 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,552 I'll send a helicopter 165 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,124 to take you to the train station. 166 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,387 Okay. 167 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,764 Bye. 168 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,644 What the what? 169 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,047 Well, it's gonna be 170 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,336 a beautiful sunny day, and we can expect 171 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,821 much more of the same over the next few days. 172 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,257 Authorities came to believe 173 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,200 that the Menendez brothers acted out of pure greed. 174 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,244 The only thing standing between them 175 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,788 and tremendous weal th was... 176 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,080 What? 177 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,164 Say it! 178 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,208 Their father. 179 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,500 Jose Menendez. 180 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,671 My kids are going to kill me! 181 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,258 ♪ ♪ 182 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,051 Ooh. 183 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,217 Kenneth, what are you doing? 184 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,432 Ah, hello, sir. 185 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,354 I've been taking in laundry to make extra money. 186 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,186 I just don't let myself read the t-shirts 187 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,063 with off-color slogans. 188 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,398 Laundry, Kenneth? 189 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:39,970 I know we pay you a living wage, 190 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,191 I fought against it. 191 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,277 Yes, sir... 192 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,278 But I've had to send more money home lately. 193 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,572 There are problems on the farm. 194 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,116 After years of inbreeding, the pigs are getting violent. 195 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,368 And the pig shield around the house has worn thin. 196 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,077 Kenneth, 197 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,330 how much money do you have in your savings? 198 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,081 Well, let's see. 199 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,042 $80,000. 200 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,769 If you don't include confederate money? 201 00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,793 $4,000. 202 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,213 I'm going to invest that for you. 203 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,048 A friend has presented me 204 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,820 with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, 205 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,259 and I want to include you. 206 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,553 Oh, Mr. Donaghy. Thank you, sir. 207 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,885 After I invest this money, 208 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,892 you'll be able to buy your folks a pig moat. 209 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,226 Well, that would be great 210 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,689 if pigs weren't excellent swimmers. 211 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,150 Jack. 212 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,945 Gavin Volure just called and asked me out. 213 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,236 I mean, in... 214 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,363 For the weekend. 215 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,447 I thought he might. 216 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,650 He asked if we were involved, 217 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,116 I said you used to have a thing for me, 218 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,568 but you were getting over it. 219 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,328 That is what's happening, right? 220 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,620 Yeah. 221 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,704 Listen... 222 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,248 I kind of told him I'd go. 223 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,780 You should, what's the problem? 224 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,561 I don't know, I'm still tired from that dinner. 225 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,128 And meeting someone new, ugh. 226 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,589 All the nodding and smiling and sibling listing. 227 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:45,881 And what's the upside? 228 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,892 It works and you have to have a bunch of sex? 229 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,219 Lemon, what do you want? 230 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:50,947 Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? 231 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,722 No, I just wish I could start a relationship 232 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,057 about 12 years in, 233 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,785 when you really don't have to try anymore 234 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,209 and you can just sit around together 235 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,437 and goof on TV shows, and then go to bed 236 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,439 without anybody trying any funny business. 237 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,851 Lemon, don't overthink this. 238 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,359 Gavin is a fabulous guy. 239 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,712 If I were dating a man, he would be the top of my list 240 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,280 with Michael Jordan, Denzel Washington, Taye Diggs... 241 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,950 God, do I have a black thing? 242 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,576 I do like him. 243 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,179 Lemon, you're going to go to Gavin's, 244 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,389 and you're going to work this thing 245 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,413 like a Chinese gymnast. 246 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,849 Wear something tight, force a smile, 247 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,875 and lie about your age. 248 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,675 Hey, guys. 249 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,469 Daddy's home. 250 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,348 Don't Menendez me. 251 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,517 Aah! 252 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,898 We made the hockey team. 253 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,403 And, uh, this is the study. 254 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,695 This is interesting, 255 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,674 uh, one of these benches is a priceless work of art, 256 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,324 and the other is an ordinary bench 257 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,616 from which to admire it. 258 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,411 Which one's which? 259 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,415 Hm. So you just never leave this house? 260 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,042 I'm afraid not. 261 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,543 And it does get lonely. 262 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,995 I'd be lying if I told you I never danced with a broom. 263 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,169 That's nothing, sometimes, 264 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,174 to feel like I have company during dinner, 265 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,052 I dispute credit card charges on speaker phone. 266 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,511 Thanks for coming out. 267 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,388 I know my situation is complicated, 268 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,016 but I really enjoyed your company the other night. 269 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,518 I had a great time too. 270 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,021 So with your agoraphobia, 271 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,523 how does this work? 272 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,942 Well, it's not easy. 273 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,394 We can never leave the house, 274 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,863 and we'd just probably sit around all weekend 275 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,155 and watch TV. 276 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,365 Go on. 277 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,885 There's not much else to do up here but eat, 278 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,744 and read celebrity gossip on the Internet, 279 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,162 and nap the day away. 280 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,663 Really? 281 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,374 And unfortunately, because of my phobias, 282 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,628 we could never be physically intimate. 283 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,630 I know. 284 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,465 What woman would want all that? 285 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,550 Um... 286 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:53,842 Oh, hello, Kenneth. 287 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,095 Please, sit down. 288 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,826 I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. Donaghy. 289 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,265 But I've got another $10.00 I'd like to invest. 290 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,393 I did some street performing in my neighborhood this weekend. 291 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,525 ♪ ♪ 292 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,693 Kenneth, I'm very proud of you. 293 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,195 Next stop, home ownership. 294 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,487 I'm just kidding. 295 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,651 The middle class is dying, you'll be renting forever. 296 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,660 Um, let's just call my broker. 297 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:21,955 Hey, Jack. Hey, Walter. 298 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,516 I just want to check on that investment 299 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,540 I made on Friday. 300 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:25,869 All right, let's pull it up. 301 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,795 Um, that account was closed out. 302 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,130 What? 303 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,816 Yeah, zero balance as of this morning. 304 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,983 I don't know what that hot tip was, 305 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,151 but you'd have been better off 306 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,594 putting that money in a coffee can. 307 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,888 Hi, Walter. 308 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,558 This is Kenneth Parcell, NBC page program. 309 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,854 What's the status of my investment? 310 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,567 Gavin, this was wonderful. 311 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,820 I really enjoyed watching mtv Canada with you. 312 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,196 Yeah. 313 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,841 They can't seem to get anything right up there, 314 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,574 can they? 315 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,866 I hope you'll come back. 316 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,743 Maybe next weekend? 317 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,620 I'd like that. Me too. 318 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,581 Well, I should go. 319 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,475 Do you have everything? Do you have your cell phone? 320 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,625 Oh, um... 321 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:08,418 Oh... 322 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,878 Nerds, where is it? 323 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,254 Oh, uh, 324 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,690 there it is in the other room. 325 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,714 Carl... 326 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,508 Could you get Liz's cell phone for her 327 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,040 so I can say a proper good bye? 328 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,428 Thanks, buddy 329 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,223 anyway, I just... 330 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,021 We don't have much time, Liz. What? 331 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,832 Look, Liz, I've decided I can trust you, 332 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,083 so I'm going to tell you the truth. 333 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,734 I'm not really an eccentric agoraphobe, 334 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,253 I just tell people that so they won't know 335 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,717 I'm under house arrest for tax fraud. 336 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:36,946 And arson. 337 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,364 Volure. 338 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,408 Ah, the wind must've blown it shut, Carl. 339 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,535 I'm searching for the key. 340 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,912 Carl's a U.S. marshal. 341 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,414 Come, before they shoot. 342 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,503 I thought Derek was upstairs. 343 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,423 I miscounted the men, Liz! 344 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,592 I miscounted the men! 345 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,946 Gavin, it's Jack, please call me immediately. 346 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,639 Also that joke answering machine message 347 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:03,556 makes me really think you've picked up, 348 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,326 so I start talking, and then it beeps, 349 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,144 and, uh, I feel like a fool. 350 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,854 Hey, your friend is a crook. 351 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,689 He's under house arrest for tax fraud, 352 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,942 embezzlement, and racketeering. 353 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,818 What is racketeering? 354 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,110 No one knows, Lemon. 355 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,277 And he's not a germaphobe! 356 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,466 I thought I was helping him when I let him hold my boob 357 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,741 while we watched top chef. 358 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,451 Oh, I'm sorry. You should be. 359 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,743 You made me go up there. 360 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,073 Well, I'm going to fix this. 361 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:26,871 I'm going to get Kenneth his money back 362 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,163 and for you, 363 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,642 I'm going to hit Gavin Volure harder 364 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,751 than a bottle of whiskey in an Irish wake. 365 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,043 Tracy, 366 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,170 get out of the hallway. 367 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,713 Or am I? 368 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,590 Oh, god, this dream again? 369 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:38,883 That's not me. 370 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,302 That's the Tracy Jordan Japanese sex doll. 371 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,754 You can tell us apart because 372 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,056 it's not suffering from a vitamin deficiency. 373 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:46,659 Other than the natural inclination 374 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,810 to make love to yourself, why did you get this? 375 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,102 To use as a decoy. 376 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,396 So my greedy children 377 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,730 will murder it, 378 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,899 and I'll be able to escape UN-menendezed. 379 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,985 This is insanity. Or is it? 380 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,557 The parallels between the Jordans 381 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,113 and the Menendi are uncanny. 382 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,198 Both families are rich, 383 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,701 both families have two sons, 384 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:08,204 and both families are staples of court TV. 385 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,456 Money does make people crazy, look at Gavin. 386 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,268 And he doesn't have the life-long scarring 387 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,626 of an absentee father. 388 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,712 Exactly! 389 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,758 You want to get one? I can get you one. 390 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,011 You've got ten seconds, Volure. 391 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,303 Sorry, Jack, but I needed that money for my escape. 392 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,639 And it's all gone. 393 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:27,931 I spent it 394 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:28,766 on disguises. 395 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,144 What about your billions? What about Sunstream? 396 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,812 Sunstream is why I'm trapped here. 397 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,272 It's not a real company. 398 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,604 You watch our commercials, 399 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,651 we never actually say what we did. 400 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,243 You can't be broke, what about this house? 401 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,637 The government owns this house. 402 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,456 I share with three other white collar criminals. 403 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,792 Hey, Glenn, that's my peanut butter. 404 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,461 God, you're pathetic. 405 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,753 Creamy? 406 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,023 This is... this is not my peanut... 407 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,506 I'm sorry, Glenn. 408 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,010 I know, I'm pathetic. 409 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,888 But I never meant to hurt Liz. 410 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,514 I miss her, Jack. 411 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,683 I miss her laughter, 412 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:11,975 her voice, 413 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,770 the sound of her scratching 414 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,813 her dry elbow skin all the way up... 415 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,482 Aw! Damn it. 416 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:21,319 I have got a serious case of the mondays. 417 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,006 Gavin, you're going to have to make this thing right. 418 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,157 I will, Jack. I promise. 419 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,701 We trusted you, Gavin. 420 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,286 I know, good point. 421 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,578 And you betrayed us. 422 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,457 Wow, that's wonderful news. 423 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,334 Gavin? 424 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,945 Gavin, what are you doing in the... 425 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,128 Yep. 426 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,048 You and me both, pal. 427 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,299 I'll just be a minute. 428 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,426 Carl! 429 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,398 God, these acoustics in here are fantastic. 430 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,348 ♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪ 431 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,225 ♪ I love you ♪ 432 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,060 ♪ tomorrow ♪ 433 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,730 ♪ it's only a day away ♪ 434 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,148 Uh, Kenneth. 435 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193 I couldn't get your money back, and I'm sorry. 436 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,696 I feel responsible, so I want you to have this. 437 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,323 Mr. Donaghy, I can't take that. 438 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,033 Well, what would this country be 439 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,993 if our economy didn't allow wealthy people 440 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,346 to take advantage of rubes? 441 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,370 Well, yes, that's true. But what about your family? 442 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,706 Ah, don't worry about us. 443 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,875 We Parcells have eaten our share 444 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,710 of rock soup and squirrel tail. 445 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,838 But we've also known lean times. 446 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,130 We'll get by. 447 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,632 Kenneth! 448 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,677 I need someone to be our floor emergency marshal. 449 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,555 And you came to me first? 450 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,181 Thank you, sir! 451 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:33,891 Uh, Pete... 452 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,263 Doesn't that responsibility 453 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,186 come with a $4,000 signing bonus? 454 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,478 Uh... 455 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,149 Yes? 456 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,401 Oh, right, I remember that meeting. 457 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,735 Where you also said 458 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,072 I would get a per diem for gas. 459 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,411 Yes, yes, um... 460 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,703 12 cents a mile. 461 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,706 Yes! Hornberger! 462 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,627 Yes, Hornberger. 463 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,591 Daddy? 464 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,092 It begins. 465 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,471 ♪ ♪ 466 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,931 Daddy, are you awake? 467 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,059 I keep having a scary dream. 468 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,187 I dreamed that you would get so rich 469 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,272 that you would leave us and get a new family. 470 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,899 And never come back. 471 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,191 And daddy.. 472 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,419 I don't want you to Lea ve us. 473 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,443 'Cause I love you. 474 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,112 I love you so much. 475 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,655 I love you too, son! 476 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,949 Aah! 477 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,784 Stop it. Aah! 478 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,120 Stop patriciding! 479 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,497 It's me. 480 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,348 There's nothing to be freaked out about. 481 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,819 That's just some Japanese sex doll 482 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000 in daddy's bed. 483 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,210 Now, you listen. 484 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,563 You don't have to ever worry 485 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,630 about me leaving. 486 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,802 'Cause I'll always be there to take care of you. 487 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,467 And there's something else. 488 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,135 If anything ever happens to me, 489 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:56,933 you and your brother are going to go to jail. 490 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,687 Liz Lemon! 491 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:02,979 Look! 492 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:05,900 I'm not dead. 493 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,318 Good to know. 494 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,861 Yes, it is. Oh... 495 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,233 Also everything worked out with Jenna's dad visiting. 496 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,322 What? 497 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,992 Oh, you weren't really around for any of that. 498 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,284 Hm. 499 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,576 Cast to the Stage for rehearsal. 500 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,248 Hello, Liz. 501 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,415 Oh, my god! Gavin? 502 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,793 Shh. 503 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,878 We're supposed to be quiet during rehearsal. 504 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,170 What are you doing here? 505 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,340 I came back for you, Liz. I was free. 506 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,300 I was across the Canadian border. 507 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,009 No, you weren't. 508 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,737 What... what's the scam? Do you want money? 509 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:34,761 No, I'm not lying. 510 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,347 I can prove it, look. 511 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,725 Cheap cholesterol medicine from Canada. 512 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,979 A Paris Hilton film released only in Canada. 513 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,565 Camp of approval? What does that even mean? Liz... 514 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,858 What's the point of being free if you're alone? 515 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,150 You get me. 516 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,402 Come with me to Canada. 517 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,810 Toronto was just like New York, 518 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,739 but without all the stuff. 519 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,031 Absolutely not. 520 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,157 Volure. 521 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,227 I thought by now you'd be some place 522 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,556 that U.S. law couldn't touch you, 523 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,248 like Bali or Utah. 524 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,749 What made you come back? 525 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,043 The reason is standing right next to you. 526 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,335 I came back for Liz. 527 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,815 This isn't going anywhere, Volure. I already told him that. 528 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,159 You've already done enough damage, 529 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,577 taking advantage of her loneliness 530 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,385 and her big Ben-sized biological clock. 531 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,137 Oh, come on. I'm stopping it. 532 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,764 I can't believe I'm saying this to the great Gavin Volure, 533 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,376 but Liz Lemon is too good for you. 534 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,601 Oh, well, that is nice. 535 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,893 It's over, Volure. 536 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,185 Give me the brush. 537 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:25,104 You stay back. 538 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,897 I swear I will paint you. 539 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,108 I am not going to real prison. 540 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,400 I've lost everything. 541 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,112 I'm financially ruined, I've lost Liz. 542 00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:35,239 That paint is drying weird, 543 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,616 and now prison? 544 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:37,950 Not prison. 545 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,287 Not for Gavin Volure. 546 00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,459 What are you doing? 547 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,084 Get down from there. 548 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,961 Good god, Volure, that's got to be 15, 549 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,296 16 feet! 550 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,965 Everybody stand back. 551 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,509 Gavin Volure's going to jump. 552 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,305 We need the floor emergency marshal! 553 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,435 Gavin Volure, 554 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,980 everybody wanted to be Gavin Volure. 555 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,483 Volure, calm down. Gavin, don't do this. 556 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,818 All right, everyone, I'm in charge. 557 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,862 Does anyone need water or saltines? 558 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,365 I would feel safer with some saltines. 559 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,200 I had the money, 560 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,369 I had the yacht, I had the women. 561 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,746 I had it all, and then I lost it. 562 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,123 And now, I'm going to jump. 563 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,541 Gavin, listen to me. 564 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,353 I know you've had some setbacks lately. 565 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,783 Glenn ate all my peanut butter. 566 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,064 Gavin, I'm not going to lie to you, 567 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,339 you'll probably be killed 568 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:34,951 in the first six months of prison. 569 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,494 But that's neither here Nor there, 570 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,111 the important thing is that you're alive now, 571 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:38,719 which means there's hope. 572 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,389 You know, you're making a lot of sense. 573 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,533 Yes, you have to pay for the things you've done. 574 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,351 You're not making sense anymore. 575 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,912 In spite of everything, you still have friends 576 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,479 who will stand by you. 577 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,272 And more importantly... 578 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,441 Perhaps most importantly of all... 579 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,733 Now, Tracy! 580 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:54,776 Wha... 581 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:57,862 What? 582 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,532 But you're down there. 583 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,701 Or am I? 584 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,997 Good job, sex doll. 585 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,003 Hm. 586 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,297 He miscounted the men. 587 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,151 You know, a lot of people look down on sex dolls. 588 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,176 But as we saw tonight, 589 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,971 they save lives and bring families together. 590 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,181 How am I such an expert? 591 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,058 I'm Tracy Jordan's sex doll. 592 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,937 All right, let's do this.