1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,420 Mr. Geiss, I'm so sorry. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,991 I just found out that you're here. 3 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,509 I'd have my assistant sit on his naughty stool 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,052 if he didn't love it so much. 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,845 No apologies. 6 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,972 I'm just admiring your bulb cover. 7 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,641 Thank you, sir. 8 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,100 Why don't you, uh... 9 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,936 Are you all right? 10 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,228 It's the diabetes. 11 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,272 I'm light-headed all the time. 12 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,732 I can't see a damn thing. 13 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,084 We're all getting older, sir. 14 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:25,776 Tell me about it. 15 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,778 My baby girl is getting married. 16 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,155 She and her fiancé are out 17 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,367 choosing floral arrangements right now. 18 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,702 Fire island, really? 19 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:36,994 I'd love to come out. 20 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:37,829 Fight the surf together, 21 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,998 light a fire, check each other for ticks. 22 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,793 Kathy, I think I just found the perfect place 23 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,419 for our honeymoon. 24 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,880 You're getting a fine son-in-law, sir. 25 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,841 Banks would do anything for the company. 26 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,553 I know there's no love lost between you and Devin. 27 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:56,098 You've both been competing for my job for almost a year. 28 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,891 Hanging in there while so many others 29 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,602 cracked under the pressure, like Bob Duncan. 30 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,605 The head of the stress ball division hanged himself. 31 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,608 Now it's come down to you and Banks. 32 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,777 This decision was not easy, Jack. 33 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,696 Banks is joining my family. 34 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,155 I understand, sir. 35 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,162 But I'm not running a family, I'm running a business, 36 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,622 so I'm going with you. 37 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,500 Congratulations, you're going to run this company. 38 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,253 Oh, my god! 39 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:27,625 Oh, thank you! 40 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,173 I told myself I wasn't going to do this. 41 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,967 Oh, happy day! 42 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,761 It's all right. You get one cry in life. 43 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,513 You've chosen well. 44 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,165 When will this be made public, sir? 45 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,434 I want my mother to know before she dies 46 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,394 so she goes to her grave a defeated woman. 47 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,521 Well only the two of us can know now. 48 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,107 I've got to present it to the board. 49 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,568 You've got to get your successor in place. 50 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,278 I've got a short list ready. 51 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,779 Well, word of advice, 52 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,741 whoever you choose has got to be someone you trust. 53 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,036 I guess that rules out the federal reserve. 54 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:14,176 ♪ ♪ 55 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,186 What do you want me to do, Liz? 56 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,314 Oh, you idiot with your stupid face! 57 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,400 You look like gene Simmons had sex with a basset hound! 58 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,319 Not cool, Liz. It's your fault. 59 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,030 Oh, it's my fault that we pulled an all-nighter 60 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,157 and then you lost the entire script 61 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,743 because you downloaded a virus on my computer? 62 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:40,744 First of all, 63 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,954 the subject of the email was "check this out." 64 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,046 You expect me not to open that? Oh, you moron! 65 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,250 And second of all, it is your fault 66 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,020 because if you hadn't created this show, 67 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:49,753 we wouldn't even be here! 68 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,045 Yeah, Liz sucks! 69 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,389 Do you think this is where I wanted to end up? 70 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,591 I had dreams. 71 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,135 I was gonna live with the gorillas. 72 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,683 Is it the 8 of diamonds? 73 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,601 Nope. 74 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,937 Pay attention to me! I'm inconsolable. 75 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,563 Uh-oh, what happened, Tre? 76 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,274 Tracy junior left his music stick at home. 77 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,734 His flute. 78 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,337 So I drove to the school to give it to him 79 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,481 and guess what I discovered. 80 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,155 Excuse me, I... 81 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,200 Ugh. 82 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,661 He didn't invite you 83 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,204 to "bring your dad to school day"? 84 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,373 What did you do, sir? 85 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,877 If I'm such a bad dad, 86 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,629 why are we all dancing? 87 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,509 My own son is ashamed of his father. 88 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,177 That's horrible. 89 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,637 Everyone knows the only thing 90 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:44,182 we should be ashamed of is our bodies. 91 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,475 They think I'm a joke 92 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,184 'cause I clown around for a living. 93 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,311 I gotta do something important 94 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,147 so that my children will respect me, 95 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,107 like be a senator or a wizard. 96 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,609 Or you can open a school in Africa like Oprah. 97 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,487 Everybody calm down! 98 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,364 Think of an idea. 99 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,701 Something that'll change the world. 100 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:03,993 Eureka! 101 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,119 What is it, Tre? 102 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,580 We should call Eureka. 103 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:07,912 She always has good ideas. 104 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,253 Lemon. 105 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,545 Lemon, are you in there? 106 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,549 Oh, Jack, I was just reading about gorilla researchers 107 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,552 for a sketch we're doing making fun of them 108 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,324 for devoting their lives to the jungle 109 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,139 and its noble inhabitants. 110 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,057 Lemon, I want to share a secret with you. 111 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,144 I spoke with Don Geiss. 112 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,436 A few days from now, 113 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,273 it will be officially announced... 114 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,317 That I am the next chairman of ge. 115 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,695 Oh, my god! Congratulations. 116 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,491 Um... hugging. 117 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,283 It's so ethnic. 118 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,243 Why don't we, uh... 119 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,245 Well, I still have to be approved, 120 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,657 but that's just a formality. 121 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,540 Geiss has stacked the board of directors 122 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,112 with the most reliable collection 123 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,167 of sycophantic yes men 124 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,978 this side of an Al Franken book signing. 125 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,922 His golf cronies, his army buddies, 126 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,965 various unemployable family members, 127 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,257 and his hunting dogs. 128 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,052 The board won't be a problem. 129 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,887 Well again, congratulations. 130 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:09,100 Why do I smell self-tanning cream and teeth whitener? 131 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,392 Banks. 132 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:12,728 Hi, Jack. 133 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,147 Devin. 134 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,833 Once they cast Clay aiken in spamalot, 135 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,001 I knew it was only a matter of time 136 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:17,609 before you showed up here. 137 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:18,944 Oh, when I'm living here 138 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,236 and running this company, 139 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,863 I'll go see him every week... 140 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,116 Until spamalot closes. 141 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,244 Or he leaves the show. 142 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,205 Oh, I almost forgot. 143 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,099 I'm having my bachelor party tomorrow night. 144 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,124 Bachelor party? Indeed. 145 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,876 The hottest girls from New York's 146 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,938 top boob shacks are removing their brassieres. 147 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,172 And I kinda want to get to know my new home, 148 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,633 so I'm gonna have the party here on the TGS Stage. 149 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,426 On my Stage? No way. 150 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,011 Oh, hey there, little guy. 151 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,305 What the hell? 152 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,140 We have rehearsal. He can't tell me... 153 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,432 No, no, no, no, no... 154 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,661 The most important thing is to know 155 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,325 who you can trust and who you can't trust, 156 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,021 and that man cannot be trusted. 157 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,041 What are you worrying about? You have the job. 158 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,225 It's not over till it's over. 159 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,568 The game is still on... 160 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,737 And nobody plays it like Banks. 161 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,323 Stay clear of him, little buddy. 162 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,204 Then after you carbonate it, you drink it! 163 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,290 Sounds like soda pop. 164 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:13,957 Damn it! 165 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,959 Why is leaving your children a legacy 166 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,836 that'll live forever so hard? 167 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,337 It's been almost half an hour. 168 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,631 Maybe we should take a break, Mr. Jordan. 169 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,968 Yeah, I need to clear my thoughtcicles. 170 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,055 Which one of my two favorite pastimes 171 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,141 shall I indulge in? 172 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,227 Video games or pornography! 173 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,773 That's it! 174 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,278 Make a porn video game! 175 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,629 Hey, Liz. 176 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:01,421 It is Liz, right? 177 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,713 Mm-hmm. 178 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,174 Where's your buddy Jack? 179 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,550 Packing up his office? 180 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,469 I don't know anything about Jack, 181 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,881 so you're wasting your time. 182 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,137 Huh. 183 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,182 So you don't know about him 184 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,392 accidentally selling NBC to some Germans? 185 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,478 Uh, no. 186 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,770 Really? 187 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,373 'Cause rumor has it that he's trying 188 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,607 to pull a death spiral: 189 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,959 Inflating the company's value, 190 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,069 shorting his own stock and then making a killing. 191 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,404 What... no, that's completely not true. 192 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,239 Jack was nowhere near that meeting. 193 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,866 He wasn't even in New York 194 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,618 'cause he was off with his girlfriend 195 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:36,456 leaving me in charge, so take that, Liz. 196 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,291 Oh, god. 197 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,583 That was so easy. 198 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,394 Like taking candy from one of those guys 199 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,148 who gives out candy at gay night clubs. 200 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,965 Oh, my god. Please don't say anything. 201 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,257 I'll give you Kenneth. 202 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,013 Well, as enticing as that is, 203 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,890 I'm straight now. 204 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,767 I think that my future father-in-law 205 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,354 needs to hear about Jack's little career killer. 206 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,147 Well, then he'll also need to know 207 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,066 about the security camera footage 208 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,252 of you cheating on his daughter with another woman. 209 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:09,948 What? 210 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:10,949 No. 211 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,450 No! No! 212 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,035 Ah! Ew! 213 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,912 No! Oh, god! 214 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,543 You loved it! 215 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,670 A porn video game? It can't be done. 216 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,005 Look, Tre, 217 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,816 history's greatest perverts have tried: 218 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,883 Walt Disney, Larry flynt, the Japanese, 219 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,302 but they can't do it because of the uncanny valley. 220 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,634 Let me show you something. 221 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,805 Check out this chart. 222 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,097 You see, 223 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,933 as artificial representations of humans 224 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,285 become more and more realistic, 225 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,395 they reach a point where they stop being endearing 226 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,687 and become creepy. 227 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:42,981 Tell it to me in star wars. 228 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,026 All right, we like R2D2 and C3PO. 229 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,317 They're nice. 230 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,765 And up here we have a real person 231 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:49,946 like Han Solo. 232 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,365 He acts like he doesn't care, but he does. 233 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,909 But down here we have a cgi storm trooper 234 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,828 or Tom Hanks in the polar express. 235 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,830 I'm scared! Get me out of there! 236 00:08:59,122 --> 00:08:59,789 That's the problem. 237 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,081 You're in the valley now 238 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:01,833 and it's impossible to get out. 239 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,460 That's where you're wrong. 240 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,545 I was born to design a video game 241 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,231 where characters get weird with each other 242 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,506 for golden points. 243 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,967 My genius will not be denied. 244 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,259 I'm like Mozart. 245 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,405 You're like that guy that was always jealous of Mozart. 246 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,429 Salieri? 247 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,515 No, thank you. I already ate. 248 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,934 You will not deter me. 249 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,480 The world is gonna remember the name Tracy Jordan. 250 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,491 Wow. Well played, Lemon. 251 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,703 To get through it, I pretended he was a sandwich. 252 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,311 It's good to have you in my corner. 253 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,079 Hey, you know, 254 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,455 I've always got your back. 255 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,460 Lemon, 256 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,088 where do you see yourself in five years? 257 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,674 Realistically, teaching improv on cruise ships. 258 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,885 Lemon, I'm promoting you 259 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,012 to head of east coast television 260 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,490 and microwave oven programming. 261 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,598 What? 262 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,517 When did you get microwaves back? 263 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,310 You're going to be my successor. 264 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,729 No... no, I'm not an executive. 265 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,815 Executives are, like, huh-huh-huh. 266 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,441 And I'm, like, haa. 267 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,151 I mean, I'm a creative person. 268 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,296 Sure, there are times when my job is frustrating, 269 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,906 like when Lutz calls in sick with march madness, 270 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,616 but I mostly love it. 271 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,618 This is the starting salary. 272 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:23,664 Suck it, monkeys! 273 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,125 I'm goin' corporate! 274 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,924 Word is the board is meeting later this week. 275 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,984 Guys must be close to making a decision. 276 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,445 I wouldn't know anything about that. 277 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,054 He guys, let's change the subject 278 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,224 to sucking at golf, so Donaghy has something to talk about. 279 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,240 I'm sorry about that. I'm a little nervous. 280 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,063 Don't apologize. You're a natural. 281 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,481 I'm feeling pretty drunk. 282 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,733 Well it's business drunk. It's like rich drunk. 283 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,044 Either way, it's legal to drive. 284 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,188 All right, gentlemen, 285 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,236 we should do some work. 286 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,530 Boo! 287 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,990 You suck, Stan! 288 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,386 As you know, we've sunk a lot of money 289 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,371 into developing this new microwave start button. 290 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,103 It's been four years and $10 million. 291 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,686 I think it's time we pull the trigger. 292 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,209 What do you think? 293 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,701 I kind of like the old button. 294 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,337 Button classic. I love it. 295 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,338 Button classic? 296 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,798 It's hip and homey 297 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,967 oh, my god, guys. We're crushing it! 298 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,803 Your first executive decision 299 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,614 and you've already saved this company $2 million 300 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,638 in future R and D. 301 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,890 But what if I'm wrong? 302 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,267 There is no wrong. 303 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,199 Lemon, you just have to find a subordinate 304 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,979 you can push the blame onto. 305 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,551 That's why I love jorgenson here. 306 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,253 I think you're ready to meet the old man. 307 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,905 Jeez, Jack, offer to buy a girl dinner first. 308 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,197 Classic Lemon! 309 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,870 ♪ ♪ 310 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,802 I've never seen you like this, Mr. Jordan. 311 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,624 This project is consuming you. 312 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,417 No, for the first time in my life 313 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,709 I know my purpose. 314 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,961 I'm doing this 315 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,922 for my children. 316 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,882 My genius has come alive, 317 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,276 like toys when your back is turned. 318 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,968 I see the potential for erotica 319 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,678 in everything around me. 320 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:01,679 This cup, this table... 321 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,598 Even you, Kenneth. 322 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,559 Well, I am wearing a cuffed trouser today. 323 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,287 Tracy, what are you doing? They need you in wardrobe. 324 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,938 I'm inventing a porn video game. 325 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,523 Let this man work! No one is to disturb him! 326 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,975 Don't hold your breath, Pete. 327 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:14,651 It can't be done or else 328 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,383 I would've solved it a long time ago. 329 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,072 Yeah, I would have. 330 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,038 Hey, nerds! 331 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,410 Guess who's got two thumbs, 332 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,749 speaks limited French, 333 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,161 and hasn't cried once today? 334 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,461 This moi. 335 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,921 Liz. 336 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,547 Hi. 337 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,275 You can't be serious about going off with Donaghy. 338 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,717 How can you abandon me like this? 339 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,761 No, I'm gonna promote you outta here. 340 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,213 You're gonna be an executive! 341 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,847 I don't want to be an executive. 342 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,142 This is your starting salary. 343 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,896 I know. 344 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:59,862 ♪ ♪ 345 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,156 Uh, Don. 346 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,688 I'd like you to meet Liz Lemon. 347 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,368 Aren't you the gal who pioneered 348 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,953 the button classic campaign? 349 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,246 That was me! 350 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,665 Where the hell has Donaghy been hiding you? 351 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,959 Oh, my blood sugar is dropping. 352 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,104 Liz, sweetie, can you run out to the dessert table 353 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,128 and get me something? 354 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,212 Oh, sure, but you should know that I work for tips. 355 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,841 Ha! 356 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,386 You got the charm and spark of a young Leona Helmsley. 357 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:32,812 ♪ ♪ 358 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,814 Is that... 359 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,106 Is he finished? 360 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,026 Not yet, but don't disturb him. 361 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,902 He can't keep going like this. 362 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,447 He was up for six hours straight. 363 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,582 My god. 364 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,293 He's a genius. 365 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:03,634 ♪ ♪ 366 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,179 Ugh, look at that loser, 367 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,222 sitting all alone and sad. 368 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,725 He's like me yesterday. I hate him. 369 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,017 Oh, I don't know, Lemon. 370 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,330 I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the poor bastard. 371 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,815 Hoo, boy, got your period? 372 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,400 Whoo! Business drunk! 373 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110 More business juice, please! 374 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,864 Oh, right... Geiss! 375 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,783 So are you enjoying the party? 376 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,077 Wha... how could I not be? 377 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,788 Just can't wait to take this sexual energy 378 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,080 back to Kathy. 379 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,876 Banks, don't do this. Don't marry Kathy. 380 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,003 It may not be worth it. 381 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,630 Why not? 382 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,441 We're absolutely perfect for each other. 383 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,134 She loves that I work out a lot and talk to people. 384 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,761 And I love how she enjoys 385 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,973 crawling into cabinets and vents 386 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,600 and other enclosed spaces. 387 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,292 Like behind the dryer, for instance. 388 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,062 You don't really love this woman. 389 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,474 Look how miserable you are at your own bachelor party. 390 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,359 That's not why I'm miserable, you idiot. 391 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,237 I'd marry 1,000 Kathy Geisses to be CEO. 392 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,989 I'm miserable because I know that I'm not getting it. 393 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,366 Yeah. 394 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,744 Geiss told me that it was gonna be you, Jack. 395 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,038 At my own sham bachelor party. 396 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,834 Mr. Geiss, I'm sorry it took so long. 397 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,335 Mr. Geiss? 398 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,630 Oh, blurgh! 399 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,551 So go ahead, Donaghy. 400 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,219 Rub it in my face. 401 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,151 Normally I'd say, "I bet you'd like that," 402 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,388 but today I won't. 403 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,141 Devin, I'm the only other person 404 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,577 who understands what you were willing to do for this job 405 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,801 and how devastated you must be 406 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:37,996 that you're not going to get it. 407 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,700 It's like when Christian won project runway 408 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:43,025 even though rami was clearly the better draper. 409 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,444 Oh, god. 410 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,879 I've got to call this wedding off. 411 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,488 Devin, 412 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,824 I just want you to know... 413 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,201 I hate-respect you. 414 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,619 And I you. 415 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580 I think Geiss is dead. 416 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,166 We've got to call Dr. Spaceman. 417 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:08,509 ♪ ♪ 418 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,470 Duet becomes a trio. 419 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,888 A trio becomes a quartet. 420 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,514 And on and on. 421 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,806 Do you have it? 422 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,849 You go too fast! 423 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:23,975 ♪ ♪ 424 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,720 Argh! 425 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,392 I've given my whole life to porn 426 00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,724 and he does it in one day! 427 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,146 One day! 428 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,439 Aahh! 429 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,605 What's wrong with him, Leo? 430 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,195 Well, to the untrained eye, he'd appear to be what we 431 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,797 in the medical community call "sleeping." 432 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,615 But he is, in fact, in a diabetic coma, 433 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:16,702 which could've been avoided by what we call "eating." 434 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,580 Do whatever you can, Leo. 435 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,872 He has to wake up. 436 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,041 Okay. 437 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,501 This is the gross part. 438 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,716 Ew ew ew ew aah! 439 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:31,592 Ew, almost done. 440 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,594 Almost done... ah! 441 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,846 Ooh... blah! 442 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,432 Oh, damn it. 443 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,884 That shot was just a placebo. 444 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,104 I was hoping this was psychological. 445 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,876 He may not be faking it for attention. 446 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,482 Jack, have you seen Don? 447 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,484 Oh, boy, that doesn't look good. 448 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,528 Don't panic, jorgenson. It's under control. 449 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,280 He just has to say one sentence. 450 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,692 Couldn't you just, you know, 451 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,303 inject something right into his heart? 452 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,492 Oh, I'd love to, 453 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,537 but we have no way of knowing where the heart is. 454 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,029 See, every human is different. 455 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,623 Jack. 456 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,625 It's okay. Don isn't feeling well. 457 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,335 He's in a diabetic coma. 458 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,795 But possibly faking. 459 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,087 How did this happen? 460 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,631 It was jorgenson's fault! 461 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,174 Fair enough. 462 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,786 It's all right. I'm in charge now. 463 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,511 You see, yesterday I met with Don 464 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,447 and he said I'm going to become his successor. 465 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,764 So I'm the CEO. 466 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,309 Jack, if this is a power grab, 467 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,852 it's in very bad taste. 468 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,145 No, no, he said it. 469 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,146 He told me to keep it a secret. 470 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,438 No, it's true. 471 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,802 I heard it secondhand from Jack. 472 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,191 Banks! 473 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,776 Banks knows. He can back me up. 474 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,990 Jack... 475 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,118 Jack, I don't know what you're talking about. 476 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,495 Oh, daddy! 477 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,246 Daddy, no! 478 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,457 Daddy! 479 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,710 Is it 4-1 -1 or 9-1 -1? 480 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,962 Uh, New York. 481 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:55,301 Uh, diabetes repair, I guess. 482 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,762 Jack, I know you're mad at me. 483 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,221 Lemon, I am not mad at you. 484 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,308 Look, TGS is really where I belong. 485 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,869 I'm not cut out to be an executive. 486 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,019 Nonsense. 487 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,812 Granted, you almost killed Don Geiss. 488 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,398 But let's not forget, button classic. 489 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,776 Right, button classic. I crushed that. 490 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,111 So we both had a mixed day. That's business. 491 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,488 Today the board is meeting 492 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:16,965 and I am still their best candidate. 493 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,074 And after I state my case, 494 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,676 I'm sure they will want to fulfill 495 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,661 Don Geiss's pre-coma wish. 496 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,371 Oh, okay, great. 497 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,289 Because I don't think I can return this 498 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,709 'cause I got business sick all over it when I got home. 499 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:35,965 Get out of here, Banks. 500 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,170 I have nothing to say to you 501 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,345 before this meeting. 502 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,514 Then I'll do the talking for the both of us. 503 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,349 Whaddaya mean, Banks? 504 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:44,641 I'll tell you, Jack. 505 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,686 There is no meeting today. 506 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,297 See, I convinced the board to have 507 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,855 an emergency meeting last night. 508 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,667 I tried to call you, but not on a phone, 509 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,851 so you may not have heard me. 510 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,193 Devin, what did you do? 511 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,805 I did what's best for the company. 512 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,114 You see, I convinced them it was best to act quickly 513 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,865 to quell any fears among investors. 514 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,237 And everyone agreed that, for the sake of continuity, 515 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,162 the Geiss family's steady hand should remain on the wheel. 516 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,920 Of course, Kathy's gonna need some guidance, 517 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,339 but that's what her fiance's for. 518 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,799 No, this can't happen. 519 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,219 Oh, it's happening. 520 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,013 Now get out of our office. 521 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,020 I didn't hear hand washing!