1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,088 Oh, hey, I, uh, I found your lipstick. 2 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,965 Oh! Oh, no, this isn't mine. 3 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,134 This is sunset blush. I wear tiger orgasm. 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,053 But it was in my apartment. 5 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,069 I don't know why I told you about the pop-tart. 6 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,231 But that's weird. 7 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,900 It's just me and Pete at my place. 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,653 Hello, ladies. 9 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:28,945 Pete's having an affair. 10 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:29,780 What? 11 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,512 The lipstick, the spring in his step. 12 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,075 The sexy Justin Timberlake hat. 13 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,660 No, no, he's still married. 14 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,152 I don't know what to tell you. 15 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,203 The only reason men start taking care of themselves 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,099 is if they're getting someone to have sex with them. 17 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,124 If it wasn't for that, 18 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,602 they'd just sit at home in their own filth. 19 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,627 Hey, Liz. 20 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:44,979 We're out of string cheese, 21 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,463 so I think I'm gonna take off. 22 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,802 Ohh. 23 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:57,807 What sketch is that for? 24 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,226 It's not for a sketch. 25 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,144 It's part of our new company-wide 26 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,436 global eco initiative. 27 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,690 We're going green, Lemon. And do you know why? 28 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:05,691 To save the earth? 29 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,151 So we can drain the remainder of its resources. 30 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,820 Don Geiss is a genius. 31 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,881 He's pitting all of the divisions of the company 32 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:12,905 against each other 33 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,133 to see who can make the most money 34 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,437 from this environmentalism trend. 35 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,494 And I am going to win with... 36 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:18,829 Greenzo! 37 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:20,789 Saving the earth 38 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,457 while maintaining profitability. 39 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,749 That's right, Jared. 40 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,085 Greenzo is america's first 41 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,657 non-judgmental, business-friendly 42 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,920 environmental advocate. 43 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,923 The free market will solve global warming, 44 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,300 if that even exists. 45 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,592 My boy. Greenzo? 46 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,404 Is that the first name that came to your head? 47 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,012 Can you believe it? 48 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,784 I mean, it just popped right in there. 49 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,014 Wow. 50 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:49,026 ♪ ♪ 51 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,070 You're gonna be great, Jared. 52 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,039 I'm just so excited about this gig, sir. 53 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,374 I mean, what a... What a sweet gig. 54 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,666 I've got a gig. 55 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,145 Yeah, you're saying "gig" a lot. 56 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,969 Oh, I'm so sorry. I haven't worked in a while. 57 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,631 My last real job was an ad 58 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,562 for Rick lazio's new York senate campaign. 59 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,719 Hillary Clinton wants an all-homosexual army. 60 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,888 How will that affect my family? 61 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,824 Well, thankfully, those days are behind you. 62 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,642 Your billboard's going up in Times Square. 63 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,369 You're releasing an endangered falcon 64 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,662 during halftime at the Knicks game. 65 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:25,686 And... 66 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:26,956 You're booked on The Today Show. 67 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,732 Oh, wow, The Today Show! 68 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:29,566 Oh, m... ahh. 69 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,486 I just wish my mom were still alive 70 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,613 so I could rub it in her fat face. 71 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,114 Really? 72 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,700 Uh, come with me. 73 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,789 He's having another party. 74 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,208 Howdy. 75 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,543 Hope you can make it. 76 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,046 See ya there. 77 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,760 What's up, Lemon? 78 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,930 I'm hiding from Kenneth. 79 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,222 I don't wanna get roped 80 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,141 into another one of his terrible parties. 81 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,769 I'm always the only person who shows up. 82 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,908 Happy Halloween, baby. 83 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,579 How could no one go to Ken's party? 84 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:25,872 He's such a great dude. 85 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,499 Will you come, please? 86 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:28,500 No, I can't. 87 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,418 I only go to a-list events. 88 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,504 Ohh, I don't wanna be stuck there alone with him again. 89 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,596 Don't sweat it, 'cause I'm gonna bail you out. 90 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,676 I'm gonna turn Ken's jam into a major event. 91 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,053 Good luck with that. 92 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,389 See, all a hot party needs is mystique. 93 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:43,681 A buzz. 94 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,183 See, people are like lemmings. 95 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,768 Harvey lemmings, my lawyer, 96 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,186 who never misses a party. 97 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,158 That's not a real person. You made that up. 98 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,713 I just have to start a little rumor. 99 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,442 Who are the biggest gossips on TGS? 100 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,652 Grizz and Dotcom. 101 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,447 So, Greenzo, what else can kids and parents do 102 00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,819 to protect the environment? 103 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:00,948 Well, kids, 104 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:01,658 you can tell your parents 105 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:06,538 to buy a G.E. front-loading washing machine to save water. 106 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,457 'Cause if the earth's not here, 107 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,251 where else is Greenzo gonna dance? 108 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,215 Thanks for getting the message out, Greenzo. 109 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,259 You're saving the world. 110 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,479 Did you hear what Mary said about me saving the world? 111 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,231 Sorry, everybody, that's Meredith Viera. 112 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,763 The Today Show wants to give us 113 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,151 a recurring segment now. 114 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,028 Lemon, I want you to write them up. 115 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,173 I want the sketches to be punchy and entertaining, 116 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,531 so don't treat it like your show. 117 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,618 All right, but only because I like earth. 118 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,286 Jared, we'll send you some stuff. 119 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,163 Oh, I'd like to sit in and give notes. 120 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,540 Make sure it's got that Greenzo voice. 121 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,250 It's wry and wise, 122 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,669 but... but also very sexual. 123 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,048 Walk with me, Lemon. 124 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:00,383 Look how Greenzo's testing. 125 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,035 They love him in every demographic. 126 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,513 Colored people, broads, fairies, commies. 127 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,223 Gosh, we gotta update these forms. 128 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,315 Yeah, well, Greenzo seems to love himself too. 129 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,558 So does Don Geiss. 130 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,570 He sent me a personal card congratulating me. 131 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,188 With a real signature! 132 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,560 Wow, if you licked the envelope, you could clone him, 133 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,275 and then you'd have two Geisses. 134 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,567 Yeah, right, Lemon. 135 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,987 I'm gonna clone Geiss, then compete with a Geiss clone 136 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,279 for the CEO position? 137 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,531 Think it through. 138 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,699 Goon! 139 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,117 Ms. Lemon, Mr. Donaghy, 140 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,411 I'm just a simple pig farmer's son. 141 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:29,703 But I would be honored 142 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,373 if you'd come to a party at my home. 143 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,916 Oh, whatever, fine. I'll come. 144 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,126 Super. Mr. D? Uh, no. 145 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,858 I could make up some excuse, Kenneth, 146 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,528 but I have too much respect for you. 147 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:39,464 During your party, I'll be home, 148 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,174 listening to some schubert. 149 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,592 And, uh, ironically, 150 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,303 viewing some Canadian pornography. 151 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:51,017 Hope you're ready to party like it's 1999. 152 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:54,354 Which, according to my Bible, will be in seven years. 153 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,899 Oh, what is that smell? 154 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,443 That is the body spray 155 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,175 that came with my new leather jacket. 156 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,489 Oh, my god. Are you having an affair? 157 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,449 What? No. Why would you say that? 158 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,578 Because you're acting all happy and full of life. 159 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,037 Liz, you're crazy. 160 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,373 Yeah, and you're married, remember, Pete? 161 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,419 Your beautiful wife Paula. And your sons, Robert and Jack. 162 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,169 And that creepy little one 163 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:21,047 who's always rubbing himself against the carpet. 164 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,717 Liz... I'm not cheating on Paula. 165 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,594 You better not be! 166 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,598 Oh, great, now I smell like midlife crisis! 167 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:35,145 Here's a tip, Cerie. 168 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,815 Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. 169 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,827 You just released enough hydro fluorocarbons 170 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,235 to kill a penguin. 171 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,527 This penguin. 172 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,188 You ever take off that costume? 173 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,743 You ever take off yours? 174 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,120 Greenzo out! 175 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,918 Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly? 176 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,210 Hey, fellas. 177 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,212 I heard a secret about Kenneth's party. 178 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,840 Ken went to high school in Georgia with the rapper T.I. 179 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,216 And, boys... 180 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,009 T.I. might show up. 181 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,178 But listen... 182 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,679 We can't let anyone know. 183 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:10,971 Anyone! 184 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,181 Got it? 185 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,432 Right. 186 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,561 Yo, we gotta tell Josh. 187 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,229 He'll finally think we're cool. 188 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,107 I'm not really into T.I. 189 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,610 Uh... fall out boy will be there too. 190 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,111 I love fall out boy! Mm-hmm. 191 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,529 We know. 192 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,202 You're just trying to get me to go 193 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,662 'cause you want a ride. 194 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,956 Dude, have you seen the dancers on T.I.'s tour? 195 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,208 I hear they're gonna be foxy boxing. 196 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,500 I'm telling you, Cerie, 197 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,668 it is gonna be awesome. 198 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,004 T.I., fall out boy, foxy boxing. 199 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,381 Sounds hot. 200 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,913 But I have my four girl cousins 201 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,801 visiting from Holland this week. 202 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,278 Do you think you can get them in? 203 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,596 I'll die 1,000 deaths before I fail you. 204 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,390 They get so drunk. 205 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,891 Uhh! 206 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,769 Get outta the way! Get outta the way! 207 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,857 Hey, Cerie, what's going on this weekend? 208 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,694 I mean, I know lots of dope stuff, of course. 209 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,986 Now, I just wanna make sure that you knew about it. 210 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,447 Are bare feet in now, 211 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,157 or do you just have your shoes off? 212 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:15,120 Well, Kenneth is having this really, really big party. 213 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,746 Yes, that's right, you heard me! 214 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,707 T.I. is gonna be at Kenneth's party! 215 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,084 You're my publicist. Get me in! 216 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,169 Oh, also, could you try to kill that story 217 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,338 about my mom being homeless? 218 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,089 I love T.I. 219 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:29,009 Please, respect celebrity privacy. 220 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,680 It's a party? 221 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,491 Yes, but don't tell anybody. 222 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,975 Shh. Shh. 223 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,935 That was Geiss's social secretary. 224 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,227 What did he say? 225 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,230 He was talking about some epic party at Kenneth's! 226 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,441 He claims he needs an invite for Mr. Geiss. 227 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,776 You're saying Geiss might be at Kenneth's party? 228 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:47,694 Our Kenneth? Yes! 229 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,029 Why would he go to that? 230 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,320 What else do you know? 231 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,573 T.I. is going to be there. 232 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,242 Bob Logan from Texas instruments is gonna be there? 233 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,614 Logan must be in contention for the CEO spot as well. 234 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:57,910 Sir, if there's any chance 235 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,598 that Mr. Geiss is going to be at this party... 236 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,790 Duh! Thanks, Jonathan. 237 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,082 Think I should try to go? 238 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,001 I... 239 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,128 I've gotta find Kenneth. 240 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,384 Oh, hi. 241 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,261 I, uh, haven't had a chance 242 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,305 to get to that Greenzo stuff yet. 243 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,807 Hey, did you leave your computer on all night? 244 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,410 Yeah, it just takes a really long time 245 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,477 to reboot in the morning. 246 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,478 Huh. 247 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,480 Hey, you know what else takes a long time? 248 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,898 Building a new earth. 249 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,190 Listen, Jared... 250 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,067 Greenzo. 251 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,943 I'm working with you as a favor. 252 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,988 Wow. You know what? 253 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,323 You people make me sick. 254 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,409 You act like you care, but you do nothing. 255 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,120 Do you even bother to compost your own feces? 256 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,247 Look, I got a lot of real work 257 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,832 that I have to do right now. 258 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,186 So I'm not really interested in having some actor lecture me. 259 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,420 Are you saying actors can't change the world? 260 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,131 I guess nobody bothered to tell Sharon stone. 261 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,633 Look, I always knew 262 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,134 I can make a difference. 263 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,844 And now I finally have my platform, 264 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,055 so let's have a little less yappity yap 265 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,627 and a little more clackity clack. 266 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,434 All right, that's it. I'm telling Jack. 267 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,103 This is not working. Wait. 268 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,938 What's in that styrofoam cup, huh? 269 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:05,855 The earth's blood? 270 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,232 Give me that. No. 271 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,524 Gi... 272 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,276 Ohh! You jag! 273 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,530 I just got this, like, eight years ago. 274 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,907 Good job. 275 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,452 Leave all the lights on for the invisible people. 276 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,506 Gross! 277 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,008 Liz! 278 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:34,843 Paula?! 279 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,375 You're cheating with your wife? 280 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,012 Why didn't you tell me about this! 281 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,389 That's my fault. 282 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,307 I get off on the sneakin' around. 283 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,393 Who knew, right? 284 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,144 So how are your parents? 285 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,271 No, no, no. We'll catch up later. 286 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,981 I just came to get a clean sweater. 287 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,276 Ohh, blurg! 288 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,611 Why is there a pop-tart in the bed? 289 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,364 What do you do with the pop-tart?! 290 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,075 Ohh! 291 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,498 Hey, did you hear about Kenneth's insane party? 292 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,208 T.I.'s gonna be there. 293 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,461 I'm surprised to hear that because that is new information. 294 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,172 Yeah, and he's gonna perform. 295 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,463 He is? 296 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,984 And fall out boy will be there too. 297 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,384 Huh? 298 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,093 And there's gonna be foxy boxing! 299 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,263 Foxy boxing? I love foxy boxing! 300 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:21,866 It combines my two favorite things: 301 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,475 Boxing and referees! 302 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,936 I got to get into that party man. 303 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,228 Get me Harvey lemmings! 304 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,898 You dummy, first of all, 305 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,458 you didn't dial that cell phone. 306 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,962 Second of all, that is your own rumor. 307 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,920 People are gonna show up expecting all this great stuff, 308 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,696 and they're gonna be disappointed and angry. 309 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,407 Just like colonial williamsburg. 310 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,701 You need to nip this in the bud. 311 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:45,496 Tell Kenneth what you've done and cancel the party. 312 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,170 Kenneth, thanks for letting my cousins come to your party. 313 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,462 Oh. 314 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,510 Hey, Kenneth, 315 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,435 you know how much I like to joke around, right? 316 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,307 Not really, Mr. Donaghy. 317 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:05,016 Well, before, when I told you 318 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,628 I didn't wanna come to your party, 319 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,519 I was just kidding! 320 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,981 Isn't that a fantastic joke? 321 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,613 I don't understand what's happening. 322 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,505 Well, the point is that I have good news. 323 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,200 I may be able to stop by now. 324 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,578 Oh, Mr. Donaghy, you don't wanna go to my silly party. 325 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:30,124 Oh... so that's the way you wanna play this? 326 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043 Whip 'em out, measure 'em. 327 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,128 Kenneth, as an executive vice president 328 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,588 at general electric, 329 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,508 I'm ordering you to give me one of those pink cupcakes. 330 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,470 Sir, I would love it if you came to my party. 331 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,555 Yeah. You would. 332 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,560 Sweet. Everyone's coming. 333 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,274 You're just in time, Lemon. 334 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,191 Greenzo's segment on The Today Show 335 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,483 is about to begin. 336 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,920 Yeah, I didn't write anything for that guy. 337 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,153 He has gone off the deep end. 338 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,445 You gotta replace him. 339 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,197 Don't mess with success, Lemon. 340 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,324 Viewers love Greenzo. Geiss loves Greenzo. 341 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,736 We're not changing anything. 342 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,120 Hey, kids, can you hold your breath? 343 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,121 Good. 344 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,622 Now do it forever. 345 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,708 'Cause the air is gonna be poisoned 346 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,168 unless we switch to green technology. 347 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,671 Sold by our company. I love this guy. 348 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,763 You know, Greenzo, I read that television sets 349 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,175 actually draw power even when they're turned off. 350 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,467 Wow. 351 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,306 Meredith just taught us a very important lesson, kids. 352 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,391 It's rude to interrupt people. 353 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,145 Can Greenzo get real here for a second? 354 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,062 Did you know that there are people out there 355 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,899 with the power to heal mother gaia, 356 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,985 but they're paralyzed by greed? 357 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,695 I'm talking about big companies 358 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,407 and their two. Faced, fa t ca t executives. 359 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,034 Aah! What is he doing? 360 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,327 Stay calm. 361 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,888 Did you kids know that we could actually end global warming 362 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,414 in five years, 363 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,251 if we just raised taxes on the super-rich by just 2%? 364 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,753 Wow, is that true? 365 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,285 It doesn't matter if it's true. 366 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,381 He works for that money. 367 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,133 We've lost control of Greenzo. 368 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,861 I knew we should have gone with Angie harmon. 369 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:04,886 Kill trees? 370 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,764 Hey, Liz. 371 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,056 Ugh. 372 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,850 Look, obviously what happened 373 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,144 in your bed last night was a violation. 374 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:14,645 So much hair. 375 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,230 Sorry, she likes me natural. 376 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,322 Listen, I am glad that you're back with Paula. 377 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,650 But when are you moving out? 378 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,262 No, no, no, Liz. I can't move out. 379 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,197 Look, Paula and I got married our sophomore year. 380 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,949 She was pregnant 20 minutes into the first date. 381 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,911 This is the first chance we've had to just... be a couple. 382 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,638 And our relationship has never been better. 383 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,942 We did it on your kitchen table. 384 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,916 I shouldn't have told you that. 385 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,542 Liz, please. 386 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,034 Please let me be your roommate 387 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,379 so I can date my wife. 388 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,215 Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this. 389 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,507 Okay. 390 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,927 Yes! Oh, Liz, you're the best. 391 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,929 Oh, hey, could you come home early tonight? 392 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,501 Paula wants to get caught again. 393 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,225 Got it. 394 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,562 Hey, you catch me on today, Jack? 395 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,065 Mary was totally digging me. 396 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,357 Dude, have you hit that? 397 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,984 Jared, I'm a little concerned 398 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,070 that we're losing our message here. 399 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,114 It's non-judgmental, business-friendly. 400 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,742 Oh, no, no, no, no. We're way past that, Jack. 401 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,828 While you're out there destroying the earth, 402 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,704 I'll be saving it. 403 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,706 And history will remember me. 404 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,208 When I die, 405 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,919 they'll wanna put my face on money. 406 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,004 If there were money in the future 407 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,923 instead of just hugs. 408 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,675 Okay, you listen to me, Redzo. 409 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,218 You either get on board, 410 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,737 or you're gonna wake up on that island 411 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,155 with Phil donahue and the electric car. 412 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:30,888 You understand me? 413 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,432 I made you what you are. 414 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,725 No, I've always been Greenzo. 415 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,269 You're crazy. 416 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:37,562 And you're fired. 417 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,565 Really? 418 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,276 Can you fire the wind, Jack? 419 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,862 Can you fire a hurricane? 420 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,909 We're developing that technology! 421 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,580 Hey, Liz, you going to Kenneth's party? 422 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,039 Is this party still on? 423 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,040 Oh, it better be. 424 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,418 The Harlem globetrotters are gonna be there. 425 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,462 The girl from heroes is gonna take a shower. 426 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,753 Oh, wow. 427 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,715 Now Jack is going to this party? 428 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,860 This is nuts... you said you were gonna shut it down. 429 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,677 I couldn't. This means too much to Ken. 430 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,846 And when everyone shows up and it sucks? 431 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,138 It's not going to. 432 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,600 This party's about to become a Tracy Jordan joint! 433 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,932 And what does that entail? 434 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,352 Here we go! 435 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,401 I've called this meeting to discuss 436 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,987 what happened last night at Kenneth's party. 437 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,323 Aah! 438 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,077 Grr! 439 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,954 Kiss me. 440 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,833 We all went in with certain expectations. 441 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,125 The evening 442 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,003 took a nasty left turn. 443 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,052 Now we must face certain facts 444 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,137 in the cold light of day. 445 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,980 Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. 446 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,067 Mr. Lutz, you ate all my parakeet's medication. 447 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,944 And thanks to you, Sonny Crockett 448 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,029 has been having seizures all morning. 449 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,489 Mr. Hornberger, 450 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,461 I would thank you to come pick up your wife 451 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,493 at some point. 452 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,622 Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink. 453 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,123 Harlem globetrotter... 454 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,878 Does that name mean nothing to you? 455 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,381 And Ms. Lemon. 456 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,591 I will ha ve you know 457 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,884 that before last night, 458 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:36,430 I had never, ever seen Grizz or Dotcom cry. 459 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,516 I'm sorry. 460 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:41,936 I want you all 461 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,563 to think about what you did. 462 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,902 Uhh! 463 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,909 Congratulations. 464 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,453 You were all present at Kenneth Parcell's 465 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,163 last party ever. 466 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,919 Mr. Donaghy, uh... 467 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,838 They are ready for you downstairs. 468 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,799 I'm gonna, uh... 469 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,426 Need a moment. 470 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,885 What is this for? 471 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,177 The Today Show was expecting another green segment. 472 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,347 Don Geiss is expecting it. 473 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,932 It's gonna happen. 474 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,475 But you fired Jared, 475 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,769 so who's gonna... 476 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,141 Oh, my god. That's Al Gore. 477 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,814 Is he gonna be the new Greenzo? 478 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,106 Uh, not exactly. 479 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,110 I may have gotten him here under false pretenses. 480 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,527 Hey, Jack, good to see you again. 481 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,194 Mr. Vice president. 482 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,486 Hi, how are you? 483 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,905 I'm Lemon. 484 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,575 So I'm excited to see this trash-powered car of yours. 485 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,285 How do you two even know each other? 486 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:42,204 We met when Jack was an intern for senator Ted Kennedy. 487 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,376 Let me tell ya, Jack was the most liberal guy... 488 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,624 Da, da, da, da, da. 489 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:46,833 The thing is, 490 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,723 the G.E. garbage car isn't quite ready yet. 491 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,587 But while you're here, what do you say 492 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,719 you throw on a pair of green tights and a cape, 493 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,066 and tell the kids how big business 494 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,151 is good for the environment? 495 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,551 I have no interest in doing that. 496 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,987 Al, we're with you on this whole planet thing. 497 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,030 I mean, look at the set we built 498 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,889 with the smiley-face earth 499 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:00,514 and some green things. 500 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,850 Jack, look, we're way beyond that. 501 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,935 If your network really wants to demonstrate 502 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,812 a commitment to the environment, 503 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,814 why don't you start by, for example, 504 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,274 having an entire week 505 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,151 with nothing but environmental themes 506 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,444 on all the programs? 507 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,529 Use entertainment for substance. 508 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,381 You could have a character in prime time 509 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,076 making a passionate argument to the American people 510 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:23,871 that we need co2 taxes to replace the payroll taxes. 511 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,790 Your parent company could lobby congress 512 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,833 and the president to pass the treaty 513 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,125 and save the climate. 514 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,252 Yes, or... 515 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,344 You could put on a silly hat and tell the kids 516 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,298 how outsourcing means cheaper toys at Christmas. 517 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,870 This is not working for me, Jack. 518 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,719 All right, let's do this! 519 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,155 Jared, what are you doing here? 520 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,179 Whoa. 521 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,890 Al Gore? 522 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,350 What's up? 523 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:45,869 Jared, it's time for you to go. 524 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,893 No, no! 525 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,729 The show must go on! 526 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,691 Back off, Jack! Or you'll be greenzoed! 527 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,901 You'll all be greenzoed! 528 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,444 Jared! Jared! 529 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,822 I... I am so sorry, Mr. Vice president. 530 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,274 This all started when Jack... 531 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,410 Quiet! 532 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,120 A whale is in trouble. 533 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,664 I have to go. 534 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:07,956 Give it to me! 535 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,044 Oh! 536 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,900 Oh, boy, okay. This earth is ruined! 537 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,759 We gotta get a new one.