1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,473 [upbeat waltz music] 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:13,481 * 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,582 Hey, 4 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,583 what's wrong with you? 5 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:16,784 What? 6 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,219 Your face-- 7 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,088 it's like you're happy or something. 8 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,289 I am happy, Frank. 9 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,091 'Cause of that dude you're donking. 10 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,525 Floyd? 11 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,094 Yes. 12 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,362 He just gets me. 13 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,199 I think you've got a little something-- 14 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,500 Right here? Other side. 15 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,068 Here? Up a little. 16 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,269 In that area? 17 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,704 You got it. 18 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,607 Ugh, that movie was a complete waste of time. 19 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,109 I thought it was moving... 20 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,676 my bowels. 21 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,744 Heh heh. 22 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,414 Mmm... Oh... 23 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,750 Reverse, reverse, skip, skip, draw four! 24 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,153 Oh, hell no! Ha ha! 25 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,188 That's awesome, Liz. 26 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,656 I'm really happy that you found someone 27 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,457 to care about. 28 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:59,593 Because relationships are hard. 29 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:00,594 So if you ever need someone 30 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,430 to come over and videotape you guys doing it, 31 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,697 or whatever, 32 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,333 I can make room in my schedule. 33 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:08,402 Thanks, Frank. You're welcome. 34 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,171 No judgments. 35 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,306 Don. 36 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,475 Jack, you old dog, how are you? 37 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,644 I'm good, sir. Of course you are. 38 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,180 Look at those eyes, sharp, like a panther's. 39 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,481 Thank you, sir-- would you like to sit down? 40 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:21,682 I can't. 41 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,584 I took my grandkids snorkeling at St. Bart's, 42 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,286 and got stung by a jellyfish. 43 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,787 I got a welt on my ass 44 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,789 the size of a Red Delicious apple. 45 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,191 I'm very sorry to hear that, sir. 46 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,192 Yeah. 47 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,826 Boy, Jack... 48 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,495 you really terrified the people 49 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,231 with that fireworks special of yours. 50 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:40,634 [march music & explosions] 51 00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,570 Well, we were trying for something dramatic, 52 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,206 and I don't regret trying. 53 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,174 Well, you gotta try. 54 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,308 As my old man always said, 55 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,577 If you try, you win. 56 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,581 And he was a hell of a garbage man. 57 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,350 I just want you to know we all still have 58 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,186 a lot of faith in you, Jack. 59 00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,220 Well, thank you, sir. 60 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,321 That means the world coming from you. 61 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,590 But I'm taking the microwave division 62 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,891 away from you. 63 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:07,295 I mean, you're in the rough, Jack. 64 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,630 You gotta get back on the fairway. 65 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,399 Yes, sir. 66 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,734 You ever think about getting remarried? 67 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,270 Well, I just got divorced, sir. 68 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:19,507 Everyone in this division is married except you. 69 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,908 Look at Bob. 70 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,611 His wife looks just like Walter Matthau, 71 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,314 but she's always there for him. 72 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,216 That's the kind of companion you need. 73 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:31,585 Think about that. 74 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,153 I will, sir. 75 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,756 I'm going to see Tracy Jordan. 76 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,757 He is funny. 77 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,892 What's that film where he turned into a dog? 78 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,395 Uh, Fat Bitc sir. 79 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,430 That's it-- I love it. 80 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,698 Boy, that's a great film. 81 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,244 I'm sorry I let you down. 82 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,882 [exciting jazz music] 83 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:09,923 * 84 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,803 Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Don Geiss. 85 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,905 Would you like some Grenadine or some fried rice? 86 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,707 I'm good, thanks. 87 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,877 Sir, I have a movie project 88 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,846 that is going to blow your mind. 89 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,782 I call it Jefferson. 90 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,651 A movie version of The Jeffersons? 91 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:38,686 I love it. 92 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,953 No, Thomas Jefferson. 93 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:42,623 I just recently found out that he went to town 94 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,891 on one of my ancestors, 95 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,359 so we're related. 96 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,994 You want to play Thomas Jefferson? 97 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,563 And Sally Hemings, and King George. 98 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,299 I'm going to play all the parts. 99 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,600 Did you know he had a lisp? 100 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,269 [lisping heavily] Whath's up, sthupid jerks? 101 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,904 I'm Thomas Jefferthon. 102 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:57,705 [chuckles] 103 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,374 So we're gonna need about 35 million 104 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,875 to do this thing right. 105 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:04,778 I'm gonna get us one of those big clocks. 106 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:05,779 We could hang it in there. 107 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,780 Sorry I'm late. 108 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,416 Aw, Lutz, that's okay. 109 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,651 I'm just glad you're here. 110 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,354 Oh, you've got a face like a baby's bottom! 111 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,855 Boop. 112 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,757 [chuckles] 113 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,758 I hate when you're in a good mood. 114 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:18,926 It makes me feel unsafe. 115 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,794 Like when my mom used to make daiquiris 116 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,463 and sing Tanya Tucker songs. 117 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,931 That sounds awesome. 118 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,733 Miss Lemon, Mr. Donaghy would like to see you. 119 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,968 He's across the street at Christie's auction house. 120 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,069 Oh, brother. 121 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,704 What's this? 122 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,072 Jack goes to Sbarro when he's angry, 123 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,874 the New York Stock Exchange when he's horny, 124 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,944 and Christie's auction house when he's depressed. 125 00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,779 He said he needs you immediately. 126 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,948 Yeah... 127 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,617 that's the Liz face I'm comfortable with. 128 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,793 You've been avoiding me, Lemon. 129 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,795 How do you do that without turning around? 130 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,698 To be perfectly honest, 131 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,899 the first couple of people I did that to 132 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,334 were not you. 133 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,536 But...here we are. 134 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:03,571 Mr. Donaghy. 135 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,872 Hi, you probably don't remember me. 136 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:05,873 I'm Phoebe. 137 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,908 I handled the sale of your ex-wife's jewelry 138 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,009 to an anonymous Arab. 139 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,978 Oh, yes, of course. 140 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,646 Those were such lovely pieces. 141 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,014 (Phoebe) The ruby and diamond cluster ring 142 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,916 was particularly exquisite. 143 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,585 That was her engagement ring. 144 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,120 You know, I took the money from the sale of those pieces, 145 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,555 and I bought a sailboat, 146 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,457 and I named it after my ex-wife, 147 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,658 and I sank it. 148 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,360 It's true. 149 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,528 The Bianca Blows is somewhere 150 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,398 at the bottom of the Peconic Bay. 151 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,032 If there's anything I can show you, 152 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,667 please do let me know. 153 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:34,668 Okay? 154 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,604 Yeah. 155 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,874 I really do like these equestrian paintings. 156 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,844 Isn't that magnificent? 157 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,814 Sometimes I wish I were a horse. 158 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,417 Strong, free. 159 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,620 My chestnut haunches glistening in the sun. 160 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,821 Are you okay? 161 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,623 Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure. 162 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,124 You know, I'm really sorry 163 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,459 that I let you down. 164 00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,593 You should be. 165 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,895 My special was a disaster. 166 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,464 I wouldn't say that. 167 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:06,133 [explosions and sirens] 168 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,935 You left me dangling, Lemon. 169 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,803 I'm not a creative type like you, 170 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:13,073 with your work sneakers and your left-handedness. 171 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,975 I can't do what you do. 172 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,410 I know, I dropped the ball. 173 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,945 I was just trying to do what you said, 174 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,447 and have a personal life. 175 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,615 And I guess I got caught up with this new guy. 176 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:22,816 Oh, right, flower guy. 177 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:23,817 His name is Floyd. 178 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,486 That's unfortunate. 179 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,054 I'd really like you to meet him, Jack. 180 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,456 Fine. 181 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,890 I'd like to meet the man that made Liz Lemon 182 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,159 shirk her responsibilities. 183 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,927 Let's say Persil, 9:00. 184 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,128 Be sure to wear a tie. 185 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:37,097 Are you sure you're okay? 186 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,738 I pitched my Jefferson movie to Don Geiss. 187 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,839 He said no. 188 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,208 He said people only see movies because of the previews, 189 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,512 and he couldn't visualize my Jefferson preview. 190 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,814 He wants me to do Fat Bitch 2 instead. 191 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,849 Well, that doesn't even make sense. 192 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,452 Everyone knows Fat Bitch died at the end. 193 00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:01,221 It's not the kind of stuff I want to do anymore, Ken. 194 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,956 I want to be taken seriously. 195 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:03,824 What should I do? 196 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,193 Well, remember when Fat Bitch called 197 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,496 all her dog friends together, 198 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,697 and they used their high-pitched howling 199 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,898 to mess up the-- You're right, K. 200 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,200 I should make my own Jefferson preview, 201 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,603 and show it to Don Geiss. 202 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,839 I'm never gonna finish this bikini 203 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,510 before Nana's birthday. 204 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,077 Hey, Liz Lemon, where you going? 205 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,245 Uh, home. 206 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,814 I gotta go get ready for a dinner with Jack. 207 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,882 Listen, I'm gonna need to make a fake trailer 208 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:29,883 for my Jefferson film. 209 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,486 I'm gonna need the entire resources of the show 210 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,687 for no more than three weeks. 211 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:34,688 You in? 212 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:35,923 No-what? No. 213 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:36,924 Tracy, you're not doing that. 214 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,792 We have a show on Friday. 215 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,628 Liz Lemon, you are my Alexander Hamilton. 216 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,030 I don't know what that means. 217 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,865 Writers, listen. 218 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,767 I need your help. 219 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,237 Well, I hope this isn't too boring for you. 220 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,639 Are you kidding? 221 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,773 Jack Donaghy's a legend. 222 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,941 I've read his book, like, 20 times. 223 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,643 Jack wrote a book? Yeah. 224 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,844 Jack Attack: The Art of Aggression 225 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,078 in Business. 226 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,112 Oh, no. 227 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,281 (Floyd) He got here before us. 228 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,216 You're not supposed to let that happen. 229 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,053 That's chapter two in the book. 230 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,622 Hi, Jack. 231 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,023 This is Floyd. 232 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,092 It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 233 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,727 Well, you're Floyd. 234 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,663 The only other Floyd I ever knew 235 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,965 was this Korean barber who used to cut my hair 236 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,900 down in the 50th Street subway station. 237 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:20,968 That's my dad. 238 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,136 I'm Floyd, Jr. 239 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,205 I-I'm just kidding. 240 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,140 Well, please. 241 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,842 Sorry. 242 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,077 I'm just nervous to meet the head 243 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,612 of east coast television 244 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,946 and microwave oven programming. 245 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,748 I just got the word from Geiss 246 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:36,750 they're taking me off microwave. 247 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,619 Oh, no. Really? 248 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,954 Mr. Donaghy, 249 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,923 with all due respect to Mr. Geiss, 250 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,792 I gotta say he's making a terrible mistake. 251 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,894 This company's stability in the small-appliance market 252 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,096 is in large part your doing. 253 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,932 The dedicated popcorn setting on your microwave 254 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,768 was the imagination breakthrough of 1995. 255 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:58,672 In 2002, you increased corporate earnings by 3%, 256 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,841 while the country suffered through a recession. 257 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,175 And Attack of the Clones, 258 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,644 which was seriously the worst 259 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,845 of the Star Wars-- 260 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,179 One sec, Liz, one sec. 261 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,881 And on a personal note, sir, 262 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,082 in my mind, 263 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,918 the Foo Fighters' song Best of You 264 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,552 is about your managerial skills. 265 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,057 Lemon, I want to kiss your boyfriend 266 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,225 on the mouth. 267 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:21,028 Chapter 12. 268 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,930 I thought you were gonna do it. 269 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:23,931 What are you drinking? 270 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,298 Club soda. Oh, that's a shame. 271 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,333 Pete! [snaps fingers] 272 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,704 [gasps] 273 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,739 Hey, Liz Lemon. 274 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:32,973 Could you go away for a while? 275 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,975 I gotta get rid of Freddie's erection. 276 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,210 Explain what is happening here. 277 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,712 Freddie is playing the part 278 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,948 of Thomas Jefferson's horse Caractacus. 279 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,215 We needed a place to keep him 280 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,050 till we shoot his stunts. 281 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,186 No, Tracy, I told you not to do this. 282 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,855 Jack said I could. 283 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,322 This movie is my destiny. 284 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,391 It's the reason why God put me on this earth. 285 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,392 [sighs] 286 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,828 I'll take you off this earth. 287 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,830 (Phoebe) The overwhelming violence of the subject matter 288 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:57,698 is in deliberate juxtaposition 289 00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,901 with the pastoral beauty of the terrain. 290 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,837 Jack, Tracy put a horse in my office. 291 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,674 Lemon, you've met-- Hello. 292 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,776 You probably don't remember me--I'm Phoebe. 293 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:09,777 We met the other day. 294 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:10,778 Yeah, yeah, I remember you. 295 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:11,979 I'm Liz. Oh, sorry. 296 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,113 I don't shake hands. 297 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,048 I have Avian Bone Syndrome. 298 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,216 Oh, boy, okay. 299 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,018 Hollow bones. 300 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,419 Lemon, I want your opinion. 301 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,921 Which ofthese two do you like? 302 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,024 They're both beautiful. 303 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,727 They look just like the one crapping in my office. 304 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,128 Did you tell Tracy he could use the crew 305 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,197 to make a trailer for his crazy movie? 306 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,999 Yes. How's Floyd? 307 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:32,766 What? he's fine. 308 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,367 You know, I called him earlier. 309 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,903 We had a very nice chat-- did he mention that? 310 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,905 No, he didn't. Oh, he will. 311 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,372 He's a good man, the Floydster. 312 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,874 Oh, "the Floydster." 313 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,976 Don't give him a nickname before I do. 314 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,378 Um...the white horse. 315 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,747 I was wondering if-- 316 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:47,848 [whispering] Did I hurt you? 317 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,883 Just a little bit, but that's okay. 318 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,119 (Phoebe) Yes, the white horse, it's-- 319 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,723 Yo, Trey, we got a problem. 320 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,691 Pray, who be this Tracy Jordan 321 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,092 thou speakest of? 322 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,295 Uh, President Jefferson, we got a problem. 323 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,831 Speakest. 324 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,132 That horse ate your wig. 325 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,867 Well, stand guard by his rump, 326 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,936 and await it in his droppings. 327 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,805 Or we could probably just go get a new wig. 328 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,807 I like you, young man. 329 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,275 You shall run my university. 330 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:17,911 Yeah, yeah. 331 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,112 No, it's very nice. 332 00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:21,048 Hey, what are you doing here, Jack? 333 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,482 Jack bought me this painting. 334 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,318 Wow. Um... 335 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,321 Is that lion eating the horse? 336 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,858 Or perhaps it's eating universal health care. 337 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:31,959 [laughter] 338 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,093 I bought this for the Floydster 339 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,128 to congratulate him on his promotion. 340 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,230 Well, it's not a sure thing. 341 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,932 I didn't know you were up for a promotion. 342 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:39,933 Well-- 343 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,134 We should go celebrate. 344 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,335 I'm free for lunch. 345 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,937 Do you want to grab a burger, or-- 346 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,939 Shoot, I just said I'd go to lunch with Jack. 347 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,809 Oh. Why don't you join us? 348 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,244 Would that be okay? 349 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,512 Yeah, I guess so. 350 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,513 Sure. 351 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,948 [nervous chuckle] 352 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:57,084 It's kind of like you two are dating. 353 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,054 Um, I think that Coulter was right about Edwards. 354 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,394 So where's Pete? 355 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,997 He took his kids to that Russian cat circus. 356 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,064 Wow. 357 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,532 You are bringin' it. 358 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,801 [chuckles] 359 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,368 Yeah, you like that? 360 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,536 Mmm. [Floyd laughing] 361 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,806 It's got pockets-- are you into that? 362 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,807 Ooh, what's this? 363 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,074 A used Kleenex. 364 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,310 I feel like I'm in a rap video. 365 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,012 Wait, let me turn on my humidifier. 366 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,513 Yeah. 367 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,514 Uh-oh. 368 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,083 It's so dry in here. 369 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,885 I really don't know how much more of this I can take. 370 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:32,886 [chuckles] 371 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,121 Unh, unh... 372 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,889 Unh, unh. Yeah. 373 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,157 Old school, Kid 'n Play. 374 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,158 Here we go. 375 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,359 That's not that impressive. 376 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,028 That's Davy Jones. 377 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,029 [cell phone beeps] 378 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,030 Hey, it's Jack. 379 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,497 Jack-- what does he want? 380 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,934 He's just saying hi. 381 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,235 Oh, he wants to meet at that diner on 71st. 382 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,236 Get a veggie burger and a milkshake. 383 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,237 You wanna go? 384 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,538 It's midnight. 385 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,006 Yeah, we don't have to go. 386 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,208 There, done. 387 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,409 Good, 388 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,911 'cause this VapoRub isn't gonna get 389 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,580 under my nose by itself. 390 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,349 [cell phone beeps] 391 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,550 He says goodnight. 392 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,952 [cell phone beeps] 393 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,854 And "sleep tight." 394 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,521 [cell phone beeps] "And don't let the bed--" 395 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,057 All right, enough. Gimme that. 396 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,060 "Jack, I have taken a sleeping pill 397 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,864 "because I have a big lawyer meeting..." 398 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:17,865 That's what we call 'em. 399 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:18,999 "in the morning. 400 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,100 Floyd." 401 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,503 [cell phone beeps] 402 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,873 "Lemon, is that you?" 403 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,474 I always sign it Floydster. 404 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:31,511 [musical ring tone] 405 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,413 It's Jack! 406 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,814 Don't answer it. 407 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:40,888 [telephone rings] 408 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,089 [ringing stops] 409 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,156 [door intercom buzzes] 410 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,925 [gasps] Oh, my God! 411 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,361 [buzzing] 412 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,030 [gasps] 413 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,298 Can he see us? 414 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,101 The call is coming from inside the house! 415 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,369 Turn of the lights and get down. 416 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,405 [buzzing] 417 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,280 Jonathan, I want to talk to Jack right now. 418 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,349 He's at Christie's. 419 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,084 But he left these for you. 420 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,285 What's this? 421 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,520 Tickets for you and Floyd 422 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,922 for tonight's Knicks game. 423 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,056 For me and Floyd? 424 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,158 He tried to drop them off at your house last night, 425 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,028 but someone pretended not to be home. 426 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,596 Oh. 427 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,232 This is really nice. 428 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:29,069 Yes, he seems very taken with Floyd. 429 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,304 And you, of course. 430 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,212 Are these good seats? Yeah. 431 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,647 It's actually a private box. 432 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,950 [p.a. announcer indistinct in background] 433 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,417 [crowd cheering] 434 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,955 Hey, guys. 435 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,492 Mr. Geiss, I know we disagreed on my next movie project, 436 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,694 but I hope this will change your mind. 437 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,264 I give you this. 438 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,099 [beep] 439 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:02,335 [humming 440 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,371 (Tracy) Ah... 441 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,505 hoe that dirt. 442 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,674 Put your back into it. 443 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,177 Mr. Jefferson, the British have invaded. 444 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,179 Ah, bring me my horse! 445 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,448 Bring me Caractacus! 446 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,349 You come along. 447 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,618 (announcer) In a world without hope... 448 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,553 [weak British accent] Who are these Americans 449 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,389 with their ridiculous ideas 450 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,257 of freedom and equalities? 451 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:27,194 (announcer) One man would declare his independence 452 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,397 for us all. 453 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,269 [slowed gunshot sound effect] 454 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:37,537 Aah! 455 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,139 [gunshot] 456 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,042 Eat that, King George! 457 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,176 [gunshot] 458 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,978 [squeaking] 459 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:47,280 I shall call it Susan! 460 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,216 [gunshot] 461 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,483 I'm with child. 462 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:51,551 What? 463 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,453 Free me and make me your wife. 464 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,555 Um, I'll have to get back to you on that. 465 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,658 (announcer) Source Award nominee Tracy Jordan... 466 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,227 Kill them! 467 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,295 Kill them all! 468 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:06,266 (announcer) NAACP Image Award presenter Tracy Jordan... 469 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,237 and Academy Award watcher Tracy Jordan is... 470 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,472 This is for you, Don Geiss! 471 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,473 Ha ha! [gunshot] 472 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,308 (announcer) Jefferson! 473 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,377 Christmas, 2008. 474 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,478 Get me off this horse. 475 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,313 [video off] 476 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,083 Well, Mr. Geiss, what do you think? 477 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,352 Well, Tracy... 478 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,519 that was terrible. 479 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,721 The answer is no. 480 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:33,093 Let's talk about Fat Bitch 2. 481 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,230 So I'm bored, and I sit next to Don Geiss, 482 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,331 and I want to make a good impression, 483 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,166 so I bought four bottles 484 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,568 of absolutely fantastic champagne. 485 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,769 Lemon, you're gonna love this story. 486 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,137 You told me this story, Jack. 487 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,338 We're on our way to Tokyo, 488 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:46,373 (Liz and Jack) we're out over the ocean, 489 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:47,574 and the cabin pressure drops. 490 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,076 The masks are coming out of the ceiling, 491 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,378 and the corks are popping out of the champagne. 492 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,779 And I don't give a damn about the masks, 493 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,614 I'm on all fours trying to shove the corks 494 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,715 back in the bottle. 495 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,250 And Don Geiss says, 496 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:58,618 "Now, there's an executive 497 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,321 who knows how to keep his costs down!" 498 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,056 [laughter] 499 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,591 That's great. 500 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:07,927 I'm gonna get some more crab cakes. 501 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,562 Liz, you want anything? No, thanks. 502 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,302 What are you doing?! 503 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,338 I'm watching the ballgame with you and the Floydster. 504 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,274 But don't you kind of feel like a third wheel, Jack? 505 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,343 No, Lemon-- you're the third wheel. 506 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,677 Excuse me? 507 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,379 Well, it's really quite simple. 508 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:29,216 Men seek out the company of other men they admire 509 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,350 and want to be like. 510 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,618 Floyd is me 20 years ago. 511 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,320 I'm Don Geiss 30 years ago. 512 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,854 20 years from now, Floyd will be me, 513 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:35,855 I'm gonna be Don Geiss, 514 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:36,856 and Don Geiss will be dead. 515 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,691 Who thinks like that? 516 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,826 Men do. 517 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,428 That's why you're the third wheel. 518 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,630 Just back off, okay? 519 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,598 Lemon, are you telling me to stay away 520 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:46,799 from your boyfriend? 521 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,301 Not that I blame you, because I could 522 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,602 take him away from you if I wanted to. 523 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,104 This is my life, Jack. 524 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,805 I know you're in a bad spot right now. 525 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,275 But you can't use Floyd to feel better about yourself. 526 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,376 It's not fair. 527 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,844 All right, how about 528 00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,446 some kind of a time-share arrangement? 529 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,713 You can have him Monday, Wednesday, and Friday-- 530 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,582 I don't want Friday-- we have a show. 531 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,651 Why am I even having this conversation with you?! 532 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,319 Look at your life, Jack. 533 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,388 It's like this skybox. 534 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,157 It's fancy and it's empty, 535 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:13,126 and it smells like crab cakes. 536 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,361 Get your own Floyd, 537 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:17,430 because this one is taken. 538 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,269 Oh, outstanding. 539 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,304 Thank you. Sure. 540 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,442 Sir? 541 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,810 He said no. 542 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,646 Then he offered me $7 million 543 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,748 to reprise my role as Cocoa the dog. 544 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,317 * I'm gonna get an iPhone * 545 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,252 * Everybody's gonna be jealous * 546 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,454 No, I turned him down. 547 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:44,424 It's like a roller-coaster ride of emotion in here. 548 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,426 Look, Thomas Jefferson made his own country. 549 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,927 I'm gonna make my own movie. 550 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,297 Finance it myself, all on my terms. 551 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,298 Now, who's with me? 552 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,299 We all are, sir. 553 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,666 Good, good, good. 554 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,435 Now, first order of business, 555 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,136 get that dead horse out of my car. 556 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:03,743 Well, I'm sorry your friend wasn't pleased with the Stubbs. 557 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,879 Yes, so am I. 558 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,715 You seem very preoccupied. 559 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:12,352 Well, it's just... 560 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,287 people don't like fireworks anymore. 561 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,422 Were you aware of that? 562 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,589 They took away the microwave division. 563 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,924 I'm having terrible Lemon problems. 564 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,292 I'm eating all the time. 565 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,494 I mean, who needs 16 flautas after midnight? 566 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,729 Mr. Donaghy... 567 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,367 Jack. 568 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,270 Listen, if you're still interested, 569 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,772 there is another piece I'd like to show you 570 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,507 that you might enjoy. 571 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,544 I'll need to take you back to the private office. 572 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,480 This piece is very delicate. 573 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,682 Very few people have handled it. 574 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,485 Oh, God, I hope we're talking 575 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:49,222 about the same thing. 576 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,359 May I speak with you? 577 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,426 If this is about the other night, 578 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,761 I am not gonna apologize. 579 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,329 This whole Floyd thing-- No, no, no. 580 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,864 You're absolutely right. 581 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,399 I have to make some changes in my life, 582 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,368 just like you have. 583 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,304 Phoebe and I are seeing each other. 584 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,339 Really? 585 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,440 Wow, that's great. 586 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:10,977 Now you have a Floydster, and I have a Floydster. 587 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,480 Well, I don't think Phoebe would appreciate 588 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,415 being referred to as a Floydster. 589 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,384 But you like her? You approve? 590 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,785 Of what? Of her for me. 591 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,387 Yeah, sure. 592 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,454 Good. 593 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,622 Hello, I'm Phoebe. 594 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,790 I don't know if you remember me, but-- 595 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,792 Yes, Phoebe, I remember you. 596 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:26,826 Hi. 597 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:27,960 May I ask you something? 598 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,264 Uh, Phoebe, 599 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,732 I want you to be my wife. 600 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,467 Wait, what? 601 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,303 [gasps] 602 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:37,470 Will you marry me? 603 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,471 [whispering] No! 604 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,340 The ruby diamond cluster! 605 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,675 I bought it back from the anonymous Arab. 606 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,411 How romantic. 607 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,514 Ow. 608 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,418 Ow. I'm sorry. 609 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,452 Okay. 610 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,455 Ow. Oh, boy. 611 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,490 (Phoebe) Careful, my bones.