1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,705 What class do you wanna take? 2 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,607 Oh, anything that doesn't have the word 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,810 "strip," "salsa," or "beatz" with a Z in the name of it. 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,213 Cardio Hip-Hop Groove it is then. 5 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,481 Hey, what's up? 6 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,415 Hey! 7 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,484 Nothing, just... going into the same class 8 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,685 you're going into. 9 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,453 Cool. 10 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:24,525 Hey, I hope I don't sweat on you. 11 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,594 You can sweat on me. 12 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,429 This is my girlfriend, Liz Lemler. 13 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,331 Hi! 14 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,599 That's Liz Lemon. 15 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,667 Oh, the girl who got my flowers. 16 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,503 Yes. Hope you enjoyed them. 17 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,470 I did--actually, 18 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,506 I finally just threw them out this morning 19 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,674 'cause they got that really bad flower smell. 20 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:44,545 I kind of couldn't stop smelling them. 21 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,515 (woman) Advanced hip-hop! You ready, here we go! 22 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,618 Here we go, take it-- five, six, seven, and... 23 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,353 One, huh! 24 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,821 Hup, yeah! 25 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,556 Uh! Whoo! 26 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,658 Turn it! Don't give up, ponytail. 27 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,460 Come on, you got this. 28 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,528 Come on, girl. 29 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,364 [Jack laughing] 30 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,466 Lemon, come here, you've gotta see this. 31 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,868 It's a video of a baby panda... 32 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,203 sneezing. 33 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,471 Sit here. 34 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,606 Don't watch the mother, just watch the baby. 35 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,609 [sneezes] [Jack laughs] 36 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:18,446 That is the cutest thing I've ever seen. 37 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,547 Isn't that adorable? 38 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,582 You have to fire 10% of your staff. 39 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,850 What? 40 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,586 We're synergizing backward overflow. 41 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,555 I don't write the policy, Lemon, I only enforce it. 42 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,158 No, but I've never fired anybody in my life. 43 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,459 It's an acquired skill. 44 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,161 I'm not trying to make your life miserable, 45 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,395 but this is coming from the top. 46 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,297 Now, there are 140 people on this show, 47 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,467 so go out there and make 126 people very happy. 48 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,568 No, I don't think I can do that. 49 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,404 Everyone that works at this show is indispensable. 50 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,672 Marco. Polo! 51 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,807 Marco! Polo! Polo! 52 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,542 [laughing] Polo! 53 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,843 Josh, you suck at this game, man. 54 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,846 [exciting jazz music] 55 00:01:52,880 --> 00:02:01,155 * 56 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,802 10%? I can't fire any of these people. 57 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:15,803 Who cares? 58 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:16,604 Getting fired is better 59 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,539 than getting killed by my wife. 60 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,674 Those big farm people hands crushing my windpipe. 61 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,510 Everything okay at home, buddy? 62 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,711 Remember that little secret I told you 63 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,547 about Hornberger family planning? 64 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,816 You mean that you flat-out lied about getting a vasectomy? 65 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,252 Don't tell me that backfired. 66 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,486 She's late now. 67 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,522 And she's starting to ask questions. 68 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,523 Oh, boy. 69 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,557 Do you need a key to my apartment? 70 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,691 Just for my own safety. 71 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,561 Hey, Liz Lemon, you know where I can find a good church? 72 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:43,231 How good, like Judaism good, or just like Unitarian? 73 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,699 My attorney told me I should join a church preemptively. 74 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,602 'Cause juries are suspicious of celebrities 75 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,971 who find religion after getting into trouble. 76 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,241 Why don't you try the Church of Practicology? 77 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,575 They love movie stars and stuff. 78 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:55,643 They already turned me down. 79 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,878 I'm still not sure what happened. 80 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,980 I believe the moon doesn't exist. 81 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,716 I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers, 82 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,319 but their curse is that they'll never get to prove it. 83 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,787 I believe that there are 31 letters 84 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,356 in the white alphabet. 85 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,924 Wh--what was the question again? 86 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,695 So what's your religion, Liz Lemon? 87 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:19,567 Mm, I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to. 88 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,870 Can I help you? 89 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,538 Yes, sweetheart. 90 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,973 I'm looking for Jack Dona-hee. 91 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,541 And you are? 92 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,643 Eddie Dona-hee, Jack's brother. 93 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,912 Really? 'Cause Jack never mentioned a brother. 94 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,582 And his name is Dona-gee, not Dona-hee. 95 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:38,519 You know, you could be pretty if you didn't scowl so much. 96 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,654 Tracy, this is Jack's brother, Eddie. 97 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:41,622 Hi. 98 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,591 [knocking at door] 99 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,658 Look who I found. 100 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,563 Eddie Donaghy. 101 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:52,800 As I live and breathe. 102 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,803 You're a disgrace! 103 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,472 You're not the boss of me, Jack Donaghy! 104 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,508 That's Dona-gee, not Dona-hee! 105 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,610 [grunting] 106 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:03,744 You ruined my suit! 107 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,479 Aw, shut up, you baby! 108 00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,348 Oh, my God, stop! Someone's gonna get hurt! 109 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,318 Look, this is about Dad. 110 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,485 What'd you two dirtbags do now? 111 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,554 Fix the Cotton Bowl? 112 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,588 Dad's dead. 113 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,790 It's over. 114 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,492 Okay? 115 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,298 This watch was Dad's. 116 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,534 He wanted you to have it. 117 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,477 Are you okay? 118 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,646 Yeah, I'm okay. 119 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,649 I haven't seen my dad in 17 years. 120 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,050 I haven't seen Eddie since I bailed him 121 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,385 out of Disney jail. 122 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,853 And now this watch. 123 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:46,854 I'm sorry. 124 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,522 Don't be. 125 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:51,892 My dad and Eddie are a blotch on the Dona-hee name-- 126 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,028 Dona-gee name. 127 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,965 That's how it's pronounced. 128 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:58,966 Say it. 129 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,535 Donaghy. Right. 130 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:07,341 I really appreciate you bringing me to your church, Ken. 131 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,742 Hola, Julio. 132 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,578 I'm glad to help you on your spiritual quest, 133 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,613 Mr. Jordan. 134 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,752 What kind of Presbyterian is this? 135 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,488 No, we're the Eighth Day Resurrected Covenant 136 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,655 of the Holy Trinity. 137 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,557 We haven't been Presbyterian for months. 138 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,859 And y'all always meet on Wednesday nights? 139 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,828 Yeah, we lose half the congregation 140 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,063 every time American Idol starts up. 141 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,932 Reverend Gary's starting. 142 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,701 God sees the wicked one. 143 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,537 Eternal damnation is upon the sinner. 144 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,006 The stench of rotten flesh fills the air. 145 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,909 Judgment is upon us all! 146 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,912 How will you be seen in his eyes? 147 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,147 What? He pointed right at me! 148 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,749 He sure did! 149 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,484 No! 150 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:52,820 The fires of the pit crackle and pop. 151 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,624 Hi, I got you coffee. 152 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,459 Thanks. Oh, I forgot your muffin! 153 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,428 Banana walnut, your favorite. 154 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,597 Uh, that's not correct, but okay. 155 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,865 Good morning, Liz. 156 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,500 What's all this? 157 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:09,403 Sketches, promos, web content. 158 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,604 Thoughts for next season. 159 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,540 Uh-huh. Nice hat. 160 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,674 You haven't heard anything 161 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,543 about layoffs, have you? 162 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,477 What? No! 163 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,979 And even if I had, I'm just being normal. 164 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,614 Gosh. Okay. 165 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,649 Hey, Liz! 166 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,850 You wanna hang out tonight? 167 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,518 'Cause you're totally my role model. 168 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,019 You make smart sexy. 169 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,555 [laughs] 170 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,490 There's my beautiful boss. Good morning! 171 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,859 Good morning, Henry. 172 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,632 [sighing] There you go. 173 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:39,933 [dog whimpers] 174 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,535 The YMCA, huh? 175 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,937 Congratulations, you've found me out. 176 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,439 So your life's a mess, 177 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,807 you go out and buy a new suit, 178 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,509 pretend everything's okay. 179 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,743 But...what happened, Eddie? 180 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:50,778 What do you care? 181 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,780 I'm happy here. 182 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,115 Gordon, so help me! 183 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,050 Look, I went broke 184 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,219 taking care of Dad-- end of story. 185 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,588 Then let me give you some money. 186 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:01,755 No, seeing Dad at the end, 187 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,792 it... it changed me, Jack. 188 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,494 I got a real job now. 189 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,029 I talk homeless people into joining the Army. 190 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,931 Isn't there anything that you want? 191 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,666 One thing. 192 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,602 I'd like my brother back. 193 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:17,705 Look, I know I've been nothing but trouble to you 194 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:18,906 your entire life. 195 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,641 Juvie, Jonestown, 196 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,643 that time I punched Goofy. 197 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,112 Hell, I even blinded you with a bottle rocket! 198 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,147 Ah, that was for a couple of lousy months, big deal. 199 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,116 I had sex with your prom date. 200 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,651 I stole your identity. 201 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,384 I threw you out of a window. 202 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,053 I convinced you you had lupus. 203 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,622 I microwaved your parakeet. 204 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:35,956 I hated that bird. 205 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,758 We had some great times, didn't we? 206 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,892 Yeah. 207 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:46,700 [coughing] 208 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,071 Hmm, you're on my good list, Cary. 209 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,985 Hey, sorry about that. 210 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,855 Not super appropriate... in the workplace. 211 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,222 No, it's... 212 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,191 it's only inappropriate when it's ugly people. 213 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,125 [quiet laughter] 214 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,195 So, um, how long have you guys been together? 215 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,531 Oh, well... that's tricky. 216 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:20,233 Uh, kind of off and on the past year. 217 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,536 But then she got this job here, and... 218 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,705 It's kinda tough to stay broken up 219 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,540 with someone you have to see everyday. 220 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,776 [laughter] 221 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,811 Where does she work? Your Liz. 222 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,212 In accounting. 223 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,313 On your show. 224 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,816 She works for you. 225 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,724 I know who I can fire! 226 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,595 Hey. Liz! Hey! 227 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:48,862 You can't fire the other Liz 228 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:49,963 unless she's in the bottom 10%. 229 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,833 Ugh, you can just tell she is by her stupid face! 230 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,234 You're a better person than this. 231 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,336 Jack has given me absolute power. 232 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,338 I am the decider. 233 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,608 Okay, you can't just do this. 234 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,175 I'm not gonna just do anything. 235 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,276 I have a plan. 236 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,880 Step one, befriend the enemy and gather information. 237 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,082 Then use the information to drive her 238 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,784 into the bottom 10%. 239 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,820 Good Lord...your eyes. 240 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,354 You look like that lady astronaut 241 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,089 who tried to kidnap that other woman. 242 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,958 Hey, that was a lady with a plan. 243 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,026 Diapers, Mace, 244 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,694 Houston to Orlando in nine hours? 245 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:21,929 Blammo. 246 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,831 I know I'm the guy who lied to his wife 247 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,800 about having a vasectomy, but this... 248 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:27,968 this is wrong. 249 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,737 No, it's not wrong! 250 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,640 I'm just staying the course, and I'm enjoying it. 251 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,007 Jack is out of my hair, 252 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,275 people are being nice to me. 253 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,210 There's a guy I like in the building, 254 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,913 and I have the authority to fire his girlfriend? 255 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,849 For the first time ever, things are lining up 256 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,851 for old Liz Lemon. 257 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,285 [laughter] 258 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,320 Stop! Stop it! 259 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,022 Jack, come on. 260 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,324 Mr. Donaghy, your assistant's been looking for you. 261 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,592 Oh, thank you very much, Kenneth. 262 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:56,697 Uh, Eddie and I have just been making up for some lost time. 263 00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,234 Hey, Jack, uh, you mind if I take a few grapes 264 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,335 for dinner later? 265 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,871 Why don't you just take the money? 266 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,038 No. 267 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,339 If you wanna give money to someone, 268 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,341 you give it to those nurses who took care of Dad 269 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,243 at Chicago All Saints Hospital. 270 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,180 They never once said anything about the racist stuff 271 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,715 towards the end. 272 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,917 All right, I'll have my assistant write a check. 273 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,251 Help yourself to some grapes. 274 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,187 But you had to go to the bathroom, 275 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,689 so Dad missed seeing Meredith Vieira! 276 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,790 Now I'm pissed! 277 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:23,924 Not one of you kids 278 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,793 is ever gonna amount to anything! 279 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,161 That's why your mom left. 280 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,062 Yeah. 281 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,031 Maybe we should get all the Donaghy kids 282 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,332 back together again. 283 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,067 Aw, Jack, they don't wanna see me. 284 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,870 Oh, come on, we're Irish. 285 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,939 We're a forgiving people. 286 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,307 Aww! 287 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,309 I'm so glad you asked. 288 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,844 Kabbalah is a wonderful religion 289 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:46,914 that mixes the fun part of Judaism with magic. 290 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,115 So where do you worship? 291 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,451 Where don't you worship? 292 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,053 Hey, Jack's brother. What religion are you? 293 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,924 This one sounds really expensive and gay. 294 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,392 Oh, well, uh, I'm Irish Catholic. 295 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,929 Now, I know there's been a lot of controversy 296 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:02,896 around the church lately. 297 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,932 You know, because of The Da Vinci Code. 298 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,767 But what's great is you can do anything, 299 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,702 anything, 300 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:09,903 and as long as you go to confession, 301 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,338 it's forgiven. 302 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,175 I'm Irish Catholic. 303 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,847 Well, well, other Liz. 304 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,016 Played saxophone in the marching band at Rutgers? 305 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,084 [laughs] 306 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,386 Kept that a secret from your employer, didn't you? 307 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,888 Excuse me, Liz. 308 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,057 Jack said it'd be okay if I put this here. 309 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,893 It's, uh, for the hospital that took care of my dad. 310 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,996 Oh, yeah--I'm so glad to see you and Jack getting along. 311 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,832 Uh, absolutely, we-- we'll give money, right? 312 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:39,867 You want us to give money? 313 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,401 I'd be happy to. 314 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,837 Heart of gold, L.L. 315 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:44,972 Is there a limit to how much we can give? 316 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,173 I hope not. 317 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,374 (Frank) Let's get our checkbooks! 318 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,408 (Josh) Yeah! 319 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,143 Wow. 320 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,312 I bet Pops is looking down right now and saying, 321 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,915 "If I could come back and do any broad, 322 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,184 it'd be that one right there." 323 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,318 [laughs] 324 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,352 Ew. 325 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,260 So Pop says, "What does it look like I'm doing right now?" 326 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,230 So they ended up landing in Dallas for six hours 327 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,965 and it was on the news! 328 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,967 It was not on the news, you're such a liar. 329 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,469 [conversation] 330 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,872 Excuse me, everybody, this is Kenneth. 331 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,040 Kenneth, this is my family. 332 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,875 That's Patrick, this is Patricia, 333 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,812 this is Katherine Catherine, and her husband Bobby, 334 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,214 and this is, uh, Margaret. 335 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,916 We just found out about her today. 336 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:29,917 Oh, uh, welcome! 337 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:30,984 Kenneth's going to take you all 338 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,552 downstairs to the studio. 339 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,554 I would like to make a toast to Pop. 340 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,456 Well, we've been toasting Pop for over an hour now. 341 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,125 Maybe we should pace ourselves. 342 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,292 You know what, why don't you stop trying 343 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,293 to control everything, Jack? 344 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,262 He was a wonderful father. 345 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,865 He was always ready with a joke. 346 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,468 Or rum balls in his pockets for the kids. 347 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,337 [throat clears] 348 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,941 Eddie? 349 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:01,248 Come here, you magnificent douche bag! 350 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,550 [laughter] Eddie! 351 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,885 (Katherine Catherine) How the hell are ya? 352 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,487 [laughter] 353 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,621 Have a drink. 354 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,524 Uh, actually I've been clean and sober for seven months. 355 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:15,528 [laughter] 356 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,830 That's funny, that's funny. 357 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:17,931 Stop showing off and have a drink. 358 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,968 Sure. 359 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:26,907 Hey, Liz. 360 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,042 Oh, hey, Liz. 361 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:31,912 Right, so I'm doing these quick performance reviews. 362 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,080 I'm gonna be doing them with everybody 363 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,582 every six months or so, so, um, are you settling in okay? 364 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,885 Yeah, everyone's been great. 365 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,953 Learning where stuff is. 366 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,321 What would you say are your weaknesses? 367 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,892 Some people say I'm too nice. 368 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,960 Where do you see yourself in five years? 369 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:47,961 Well, hopefully, 370 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,562 I'll still be working for G.E. 371 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,965 It's a great company for working moms. 372 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,000 What? 373 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,935 You know, in five years. 374 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,003 In--I mean, I'm in a relationship right now. 375 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:59,139 By then I'll probably have a couple of kids, 376 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,641 be living in the suburbs-- just having it all, really. 377 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:02,976 You're fired! 378 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,080 I'm the decider! 379 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,053 [mouthing] 380 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,322 Uh... 381 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,157 God, I missed you guys. 382 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,960 It's too bad it took Dad dying to get us all together again. 383 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,030 He was always bringing people together. 384 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,597 He was just like Lady Di. 385 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:25,966 (Bobby) He was. 386 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,300 This is Margaret. 387 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,103 Boy, she's really got Mom's smile, doesn't she? 388 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,104 Yeah. 389 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,405 To Pop! 390 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,541 The sorriest bastard that ever walked the earth. 391 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,910 Don't say that about my daddy! 392 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,678 (Katherine Catherine) Oh, Patricia, you're embarrassing yourself. 393 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,348 (Patricia) Yeah, well, you don't say that about my father, Mrs.! 394 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:45,185 [yelling] 395 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,386 What do you say... 396 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,321 Good posture, who cares? 397 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,923 Uh, what do you say we all head downstairs 398 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,959 right now before this takes the traditional 399 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,227 Donaghy turn for the worse. 400 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,363 (Patricia) Seriously, don't even start with me! 401 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,265 Don't start with me, Mrs.! 402 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,033 You did it, you fired her? 403 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,935 Uh-huh. You cant' do that, Liz! 404 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,070 I'm gonna tell human resources! 405 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,071 No, no, you're not! 406 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,638 You're fired! 407 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:06,539 Did you just fire Pete? 408 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,176 Yes! I'm gonna put his name on a list! 409 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,277 And everything! 410 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,081 [clears throat] 411 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,515 Can I help you? 412 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:19,019 Ms. Lemon, the, uh, accounting department 413 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,088 wishes to protest the firing of our colleague. 414 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,155 Now, we have discussed it-- 415 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,490 You're fired! 416 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,691 You're all fired! 417 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,094 Clean out your desks! Fired! 418 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,603 Lemon, the purpose of these cuts 419 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,471 is to make us more efficient so we make more money. 420 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,207 And the people who tell me if I'm making more money 421 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,441 are called accountants. 422 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,076 And if I don't have any accountants-- 423 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,677 No, Jack, you would be proud of me. 424 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:45,745 It's all part of a plan. 425 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:46,713 It just got out of control. 426 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,747 A plan to do what? 427 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,718 Things were really lining up for old Liz Lemon. 428 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,687 And this other Liz, this accountant girl, 429 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:58,525 was just getting in the way of my happiness. 430 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,060 Your happiness? 431 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,430 Lemon, is this about a boy? 432 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,066 Mm-hmm. 433 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,468 Good God in heaven. 434 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,636 Who is he? What's his name? 435 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,072 Flower guy? 436 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,274 Lemon, you've gone chicken killer on me 437 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,209 over a guy whose name you don't know? 438 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,645 And you still think our next President 439 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,013 should be a woman? 440 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,681 He just seems like a really cool guy, 441 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,684 and I think he likes me more than her. 442 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,454 That's...very sad. 443 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:31,024 It really is, isn't it? 444 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:34,161 I'm gonna go talk to some food about this. 445 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,733 Oh, Liz, did you put your check in already? 446 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,702 Oh, no. 447 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:46,139 Who do I make it out to? Chicago All Saints Hospital? 448 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,308 Eddie just said to write the initials on the check. 449 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,309 C... 450 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,810 A... 451 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,079 S... 452 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,114 H. 453 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,685 Son of a bitch. 454 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,756 Eddie already took the other box. 455 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,737 Son. 456 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,375 Dad? 457 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,277 Your brother Eddie's dead. 458 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,380 He wanted you to have his watch. 459 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,752 [relaxed jazzy music] 460 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,554 * 461 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,523 Eddie. 462 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,824 You. 463 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:38,591 Me? 464 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,660 You! What are you doing here? 465 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:41,628 What do you think? 466 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,463 I'm pulling the Dead Man's Curve on Jack. 467 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,665 When we parted ways, we agreed 468 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,167 that I would get Jack and you would do 469 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,568 the thing in Sacramento! 470 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,837 You are both a disgrace to the Donaghy name! 471 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:54,407 It's pronounced Dona-fee, you lace curtain half-an-Englishman! 472 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,610 When I think of all the things that I've been holding 473 00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,746 inside me that I wanted to say to you... 474 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:00,580 Well, now I'm gonna let St. Patrick 475 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,882 and St. Michael do my talking for me! 476 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,252 You'll have to get through Tip O'Neill 477 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,786 and Bobby Sands first! 478 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,488 You call those fist names? 479 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,891 Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor! 480 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,427 Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard. 481 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,164 Daddy's not dead! 482 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,499 Eddie, you lying sack of crap! 483 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,734 Jack Donaghy, you don't raise your fists to my dead father! 484 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,203 Bobby, give me my keys. 485 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,338 (Patricia) Let's go! 486 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,274 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 487 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,608 Yeah, what--what are you doing? 488 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,277 You can't fight in front of my audience! 489 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,312 What, do you think you're better than me? 490 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,747 [gasps] 491 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,784 Lemon, are you okay? 492 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:41,854 I want you...to punch your sister in the face. 493 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,623 (Katherine Catherine) It's on. 494 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,493 (Eddie) I call same sides as the bicentennial brawl! 495 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,396 I was impressed 496 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,164 by how you take a punch, Lemon. 497 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,799 I played dead for the worst of it, 498 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:53,866 but it didn't fool your family. 499 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,368 It sure didn't. 500 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,436 The whole thing 501 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,870 was strangely reassuring, though. 502 00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,807 To know that they'll be there after I'm dead, 503 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,409 fighting over my corpse 504 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,544 before it's cryogenically frozen. 505 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,913 Where's Eddie now? 506 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,649 I gave him and my dad a three-day head start 507 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,784 out of love and sportsmanship. 508 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,885 Hmm. 509 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,654 As always, it's been a pleasure 510 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,257 fighting with you. 511 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,591 Oh, I had to rehire 512 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,660 that Liz Lemler that you fired. 513 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:21,894 Okay. 514 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,563 And I didn't want any more trouble with her, 515 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,265 so I had to give her a promotion too. 516 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,899 Fantastic. 517 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,269 It's an amazing opportunity for her out at, uh, 518 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,338 corporate headquarters. 519 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,840 In Connecticut? 520 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,875 She's transferred to Connecticut? 521 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,876 Yes. 522 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,245 That's right. 523 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,946 It seems that things are lining up 524 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,181 once again for old Liz Lemon. 525 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,784 And you say? 526 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:45,818 Thank you, Jack. 527 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,186 You're welcome. 528 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,467 I hear your girlfriend got transferred. 529 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,468 Sorry. 530 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,802 Yeah. 531 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,704 I guess it wasn't meant to be. 532 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:05,705 Liz! 533 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,773 You forgot to give me the key to your place, 534 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,676 and I need it, my wife knows about our little secret. 535 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,778 [sighing] I don't know how she found out. 536 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:12,612 Oh, God. 537 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,447 I should've just gotten a vasectomy! 538 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,483 Let me explain. 539 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,453 Hey, did you hear the good news, J. D.? 540 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:21,488 I'm Irish Catholic now. 541 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,556 Like you, Regis, and the Pope. 542 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:24,691 Oh, no, you're not. 543 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,626 The church already has enough lawsuits. 544 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,562 See, I could screw up now, and then just go to confession. 545 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,930 No longer do I have to throw 546 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,433 my parties in international waters. 547 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:34,967 That's not how it works, Tracy. 548 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,369 Even though there is the whole confession thing, 549 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,637 that's no free pass. 550 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,472 Because there is a crushing guilt 551 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,408 that comes with being a Catholic. 552 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,009 Whether things are good, or bad, 553 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:45,378 or you're simply eating tacos in the park. 554 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:49,382 There is always the crushing guilt. 555 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,451 I don't think I want that. 556 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,819 I'm out. 557 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:57,590 Somehow I feel oddly guilty about that. 558 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,626 (Tracy) I don't want nothing crushing me.