1 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,108 Come on in, Tracy. 2 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,310 Yo, is this about that little red-headed intern? 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,479 'Cause she asked me to take it out. 4 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,480 No, no, no. 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,048 I wanted to invite you to join me 6 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,150 at a charity golf tourney that Don Geiss is hosting 7 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,186 at his country club in Old Saybrook. 8 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,389 I'm not familiar with about half the words in that sentence. 9 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,524 How 'bout you come with me to a big party 10 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,758 in Connecticut, 11 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,494 and meet Don Geiss? 12 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,097 Is that the gay guy from Project Runway? 13 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,098 No. 14 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,832 He's the CEO of this corporation. 15 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,167 The big man. 16 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:34,368 The dude from my checks? 17 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,237 The dude from your checks. 18 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,172 And a good person for you to know. 19 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,540 A'ight, sure. 20 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,075 Thanks for inviting me. 21 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,343 (Liz) Okay false alarm. 22 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,378 It turns out she asked him to take it out. 23 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,782 Oh, hey. 24 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,818 I'll see you in CT, Jackie D. 25 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,821 What's that about? 26 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,888 I've invited him to join me 27 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,824 at a GE charity golf tournament in Connecticut. 28 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,792 Was Courtney Love not available? 29 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,594 Liz, all the VPs will be angling 30 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,096 to golf with Don Geiss, 31 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:02,996 but my partner will be Tracy Jordan, 32 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,732 his grandchildren's favorite movie star. 33 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,567 Geiss will absolutely choose us, 34 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,668 and that's a big deal because 35 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,503 being in a foursome with this man 36 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,838 can change your life. 37 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,373 You might want to rephrase that. 38 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,642 Golf with Geiss means four hours of face time 39 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,477 with a man you normally only get 20 minutes with. 40 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,346 Which one is Geiss again, the bald one? 41 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,482 No. That one. 42 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:22,816 Where did that come from? 43 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,885 I painted it myself. 44 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,255 Wow, that's really good. 45 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:30,358 You want one? Consider it done. 46 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,693 Thanks. 47 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,632 * Simply the best 48 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,301 [humming] 49 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,271 [exciting jazz music] 50 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:49,310 * 51 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:03,591 Did anybody see Condoleezza on Meet the Press yesterday? 52 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,859 She always sounds so terrified. 53 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,027 She's always, like, 54 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,430 [frightened tone] The President has a plan for Iran, 55 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,332 and we are currently adhering to that plan. 56 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,267 [laughter] 57 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,303 Hey, Frank, wake up. 58 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,238 You're not allowed to sleep through the topical meeting. 59 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,839 Dude, I'm exhausted. 60 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,642 I stayed up all night watching a Designing Women marathon. 61 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,610 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, me too. 62 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,346 At first, I hated it. And then I liked it. 63 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,814 And then I hated it again. 64 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,716 And then I got horny, 65 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:29,683 and then I fell asleep. 66 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:32,286 Well, focus up, we have a lot of work to do. 67 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,787 [cell phone rings] 68 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,389 Lutz, not while we're working! 69 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,390 [thud] 70 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,725 Ay, pero ay Dios mio! 71 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,794 (Liz) Oh, I'm sorry Theresa. 72 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,396 I'm sorry. 73 00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:45,433 Okay, maybe something about the mid-term elections? 74 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:48,236 Hey, what about my Dancing with the Hobo sketch? 75 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,271 I didn't like it two weeks ago 76 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,206 when it was called America's Next Top Hobo, 77 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,774 and I didn't like it a month ago, 78 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,976 when it was called Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy. 79 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,678 Deal or No Hobo? 80 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,447 Hey, Lutz, why don't you approach your job 81 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,282 with the same creativity and excitement 82 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,683 you have for all-you-can-eat buffets? 83 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,787 Ooh. Ooh. [laughter] 84 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,556 Okay, the van to take you up to Connecticut 85 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,923 will be leaving at noon. 86 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:10,991 And once you get up to the golf course, 87 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,826 you'll be working in pairs. 88 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,827 So, Tim and Shyla, 89 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,463 Amy and Becca, 90 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:16,864 Kenneth and Grace, 91 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,466 and Eric and Pat. 92 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,502 Okay, have fun. Don't get drunk. 93 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,870 Buddy up. 94 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,405 Mr. Hornberger. Yeah? 95 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,507 Grace and I cannot work together. 96 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,477 Why not? We have a past. 97 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,312 A romantic past. 98 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,813 [Jingle Bell Rock playing] 99 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,548 Well, Grace, it's been a pleasure talking to you. 100 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,786 Grace Park! 101 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,588 You know this can't happen. 102 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,956 We're pages. 103 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,659 I just don't want to disgrace the peacock. 104 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,794 Oh, Kenneth, 105 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,629 if you're worried about disgracing 106 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,531 the National Broadcasting Company, 107 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,665 you're too late. 108 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,702 [mid-tempo jazz] 109 00:03:54,735 --> 00:04:02,743 * 110 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,520 Look, Grace, this is obviously 111 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,355 incredibly awkward for both of us, 112 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,756 but let's just try to be professional. 113 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,060 Your peacock earrings look nice. 114 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,396 Doggone it, Grace, 115 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,299 I just don't know myself around you. 116 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,800 Hello, gentlemen. 117 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,901 Welcome to the ninth annual 118 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,069 Cure Diabetes Now golf tournament. 119 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,671 Has Don Geiss arrived yet? 120 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,473 No, sir, but if you'd like, 121 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,441 we could work out a signal, 122 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,942 so I could let you know when he does arrive. 123 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,677 Like-- [making trilling bird call] 124 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,412 That won't be necessary. 125 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:39,947 [whispering] I'll probably just do it anyway. 126 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,684 That cold open you guys wrote last night 127 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,618 came out really good. 128 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:45,619 Oh, thanks. 129 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,954 It was like pulling teeth. 130 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,622 They're so lazy sometimes. 131 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:49,790 Especially Lutz. 132 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,024 Well, good job whipping 'em into shape. 133 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,026 That thing is really smart. 134 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,462 Now, when Dennis Hastert farts, 135 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,696 should that be live, or pre-recorded? Live. 136 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:56,697 It has to be live for the timing. 137 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,699 I thought so too. 138 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,401 [cats mewing] [Liz gasps] 139 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,670 Look at these guys. Yeah. 140 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,772 They like you. 141 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,440 They're very good at sensing debilitating loneliness 142 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,941 in a person. 143 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,443 Maybe you ought to adopt one. 144 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,378 Oh, I can't. 145 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,780 I'm allergic to anything warm and adorable. 146 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,582 (Lutz) I'm sick of it. 147 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,517 I'm doing my job, and she just shoots me down 148 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:17,651 in front of everybody. 149 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,387 I don't care if she's the boss, 150 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,389 Liz is a grade-A-- 151 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,956 Runt! What? 152 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,693 This kitten, he's such a runt! 153 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,795 I'm gonna name you Runty. 154 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,997 You're such a little raging little runt! 155 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,865 [chuckles] Come on, Runty. 156 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,333 Come on. 157 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,570 [easy jazz playing] 158 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,971 Jack, how are you? 159 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,607 Ted, Amanda, so nice to see you. 160 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,708 Hello. 161 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,676 This is Tracy Jordan. 162 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,378 Ted here is the head of our commercial aviation division. 163 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,547 You need to hook me up with one of them helicopters. 164 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,881 Absolutely. 165 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,417 I'd be happy to arrange for you to take a ride. 166 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,884 No, I don't want to get in it. 167 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,152 I want to blow it up and run away from it 168 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,153 in slow motion. 169 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,690 [laughter] 170 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,492 Pleasure to have met you. 171 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,695 Damn straight. I'm delightful. 172 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,964 You're doing great. Everybody loves you. 173 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,466 On season five, 174 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,568 when Delta was really packin' it on--- 175 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,037 Glorious. 176 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,171 We need to fire Lutz. 177 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,406 Why, what happened? 178 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,575 He called me the worst name ever. 179 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:15,709 What did he call you? 180 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,644 I'm not gonna repeat it. 181 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:17,645 That's how much I hate it. 182 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,846 Fat can? No. 183 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,013 Mouth hooker? No. 184 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,415 Monster bitch. Hatchet face. 185 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,483 No! 186 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,151 The one the rhymes with the name 187 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,919 of your favorite Todd Rundgren album. 188 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:29,089 It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow? 189 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,591 No! 190 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:31,625 Oh. 191 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,726 Oh boy. 192 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,094 Well, you know, he was probably 193 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,729 just blowing off steam. 194 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:36,730 You can't fire a guy for cursing. 195 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,432 I'm not upset about cursing. 196 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:41,569 I mean, I love cursing. I love it. 197 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,937 But this word is not acceptable 198 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,874 because there's nothing you can call a guy back. 199 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,976 There is no male equivalent to this word. 200 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,644 Well, why don't we come up with one 201 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,546 and then you can call him that? 202 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,181 Like...monkus. 203 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,616 Fungdark. 204 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,885 No, I'm serious, you guys. 205 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,886 You're just in reaction right now. 206 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,887 You need to just take a few hours 207 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,754 and calm down. 208 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,223 Don't tell me to calm down you fungdark. 209 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,993 Yeah, you're right. It doesn't work. 210 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,629 I don't know, I think Liz is right about this. 211 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:09,997 Lutz has been totally slacking off 212 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,699 since his grandma died. 213 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,634 What? Why didn't you guys tell me? 214 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,570 I thought you knew and you were just being a... 215 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,038 You know, that word Lutz called you. 216 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,974 Wait, are you saying that I am like that sometimes? 217 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,543 Um... Um... 218 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,745 And they thought my sister couldn't even have a baby, 219 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,179 so she's really excited. 220 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,749 Oh, he's adorable. 221 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,652 Okay, we're at the bottom of page two. 222 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,157 Hey, look everybody Sherlock Homo is here 223 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,926 to solve the case of the gay sweater. 224 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,601 I'm telling you guys... 225 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,503 watching that isn't gonna get us out of here 226 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,604 any faster. 227 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,943 Oh, my God, I am. 228 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,144 I'm a total... Runt! 229 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,513 Runt! 230 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,981 I lost my kitten. 231 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:01,982 Has anyone seen my runt? 232 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,183 Runt! 233 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,752 Runt! 234 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,188 Bringing Tracy Jordan was a smart move, Jack. 235 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,222 He's the hit of the party. 236 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,291 You got that right, my friend. 237 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,126 Tomorrow I'm gonna be in an intense six hour foursome 238 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,194 with three other men 239 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,295 And one of them will be Don Geiss 240 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,632 and he's gonna get all of my attention. 241 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,967 And you're just gonna sit back and watch. 242 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,270 [bird calling] 243 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,108 Would you excuse me? 244 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,910 You know the army's been messing with the sun. 245 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,745 That's why I keep my junk covered. 246 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,847 Once that stuff get in your hang, you're done. 247 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,183 Would you excuse us for a moment, please? 248 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,885 What's going on? It's game time. 249 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,253 Jack, you handsome son of a gun! 250 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,722 This guy gets younger every time I see him! 251 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,591 No, you're the one. 252 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:46,159 Oh, hair like a Viking. God bless you. 253 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,261 Don, I want you to meet my friend Tracy Jordan. 254 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:51,565 Tracy Jordan. This is exciting. 255 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:54,668 My grandchildren just love your movies. 256 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,136 Thank you so much for being here 257 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,871 and supporting diabetes research. 258 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,039 Hey, I feel you. 259 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,174 Messed up sugar runs in my family too. 260 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,344 So, how's your short game? 261 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,312 You'll find out tomorrow. 262 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:08,616 This guys spends so much time in the sand 263 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,317 that his nickname should be Falu-ser. 264 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,519 That's humorous. 265 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,321 Hey, how come you don't hire more black people around here? 266 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,123 Beg your pardon? 267 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,291 How come there's no black people here? 268 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,127 Black people can't make light bulbs? 269 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,730 No, actually we have an award winning 270 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,798 diversity program. 271 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:28,368 How come there's just me and Carlton over there? 272 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,037 I believe Tracy's referring to 273 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,372 Carlton, the straight laced brother 274 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,374 from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 1990 through 1996. 275 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,210 On NBC. 276 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,346 Are we having fun or what? 277 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:43,150 My associate's name is Francis Callier. 278 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,186 And he's a lawyer. Excuse me. 279 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,401 So what time does this golf thing 280 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,037 kick off tomorrow? 281 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,973 It doesn't matter now, Tracy. 282 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,408 We're not in Geiss' foursome, thanks to you. 283 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,710 What? 284 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,778 I can't help it if he got mad. 285 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,079 You know me. 286 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,647 I'm gonna say what's on my mind, Jack. 287 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,716 No, not in here you don't. 288 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,350 I wanted you to entertain these people, 289 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,285 not publicly humiliate them. 290 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,054 I'm supposed to just be a funny black man 291 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,022 who says funny things. 292 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,657 No, I wanted you to discuss your astounding 293 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,025 medical breakthroughs. 294 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,426 Okay. 295 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,328 Bartender, could you bring me a Mustang Melon 296 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,462 and a bag of barbeque potato chips? 297 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,265 'Cause apparently I'm only here to be a stereotype. 298 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,767 Would you keep your voice down, please? 299 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:34,835 You're embarrassing yourself. 300 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,936 No, I'm not embarrassing myself, 301 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,170 I'm embarrassing you. 302 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,305 And guess what, Jack? 303 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,040 I'm just getting started. 304 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,880 Son, I wasn't joking about those chips. 305 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,718 Hey hey hey. 306 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,152 What do you wanna do about Lutz? 307 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,721 Should I call him into my office? 308 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,756 I think we should wait on that. 309 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,257 Really? Okay. Whatcha got? 310 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,692 A-ha! 311 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,694 I made something for the writers. 312 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:01,962 Brisket! 313 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,263 (Liz) No, it's two dozen cupcakes 314 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,232 with melted mini-candy bars in the middle. 315 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,234 Mmm. Oh, I get it. 316 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,069 You're trying to be nice now 'cause of what Lutz said. 317 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,238 No, I'm not trying to be nice. 318 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,040 I am nice. 319 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:16,309 I'm a nice person you bald, gangly... 320 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,978 I'm gonna try harder. 321 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,679 I'm gonna try and be nice. 322 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,858 I sure hope Mr. Jack plays his game good today. 323 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,727 Otherwise he whups my ass right well when we get home. 324 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,495 Ain't that right, Mr. Jack? 325 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,230 You know, Ted, Kenneth here is one of our 326 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,465 most promising young pages. 327 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,332 He knows everything there is to know 328 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,333 about the business. 329 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,269 I studied TV theory 330 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,437 at Kentucky Mountain Bible College. 331 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,373 I studied fried chicken at the school of hard knocks. 332 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,075 Ain't that right, Mr. Jack? 333 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,777 You still here? 334 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,912 I'm ridiculous. I'm black! 335 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,981 I may even be ugly. 336 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,082 But dear God... 337 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,851 I'm here! I'm here! 338 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,887 And nothing but them can keep me from it! 339 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,432 [cell phone ringing] 340 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,067 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 341 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,002 I thought I turned it off. 342 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,971 No, Cooper, take the call. I mean, come on. 343 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,272 This isn't Hitler's bunker. 344 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,407 That would make me Hitler. 345 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,778 What? This is the new me. 346 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,146 Do you like the new me? 347 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:31,118 Before you answer, superballs! 348 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:31,919 Awesome! 349 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,921 What a fun boss you have, right? 350 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,492 Would you like me to do a tap dance for you 351 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,862 and your big time friends, Mr. Jack? 352 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,296 Or I could run around while y'all are 353 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,497 throwing rocks at me. 354 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,334 Kenneth, play this hole for me, would you? 355 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,970 Come with me. 356 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,140 What are you doing? 357 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,207 Payback. 358 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,043 The way you treated me. You used me. 359 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,311 God, it's like dating Katie Couric all over again. 360 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,880 I didn't use you. I created a situation 361 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:00,881 that could have been mutually beneficial, 362 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:01,982 and you blew it. 363 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,516 If you can't handle Tracy Jordan, 364 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,986 don't invite Tracy Jordan. 365 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,520 This is what I do. I drop truth bombs. 366 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,357 I don't care about Don Geiss! 367 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,892 I'm a movie star! 368 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,026 Oh, my. 369 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,495 No, no. You we a movie star. 370 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,897 You haven't gotten a movie made 371 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,398 in over two years, and you know why? 372 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:19,833 Because of your truth bombs. 373 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:20,934 Remind me, Tracy, what did you tell 374 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:21,935 the president of Warner Brothers? 375 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:22,936 Told him he could suck it. 376 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:23,871 And the president of Paramount? 377 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,206 Told her she could kiss my delicious ass. 378 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,407 And how's that working for you? 379 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,242 Yeah, I thought so. 380 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,312 Hey, why don't you play the game with me? 381 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,481 Like it or not, guys like Geiss run everything, 382 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,448 including movie studios. 383 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,350 And we could be playing golf with him right now 384 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,351 instead of Ted, who's best known 385 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,853 for getting caught using a corporate credit card 386 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:42,089 at a gay strip club. 387 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:44,958 I'm sorry, Amanda, 388 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,227 you were bound to find that out eventually. 389 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,371 Where is everybody? 390 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,407 Oh, they all had personal problems 391 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,608 they had to take care of. 392 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:02,509 Go, go. 393 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,411 If I thought I left my coffeemaker on, 394 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,445 I wouldn't be able to focus either. 395 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,915 No, no, I get it. 396 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,217 Everyone should see Mama Mia before it closes. 397 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:12,953 What kind of sinus stuff? 398 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,488 I'm just having some weird sinus stuff. 399 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,390 Okay. Go home. 400 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,128 Then I sent Lutz and Frank out 401 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,230 to get us some pizzas and they never came back. 402 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,631 So you're finishing up everyone's re-writes 403 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,266 by yourself? That's not right. 404 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,335 Yes, but at least I know that nobody hates me today. 405 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,570 You think Jack Donagee sits up there 406 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,940 and worries if people are saying bad things about him? 407 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,074 It's different for women. 408 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:34,942 I don't think it is. 409 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,077 Sometimes people hate their bosses. 410 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,211 Big deal. 411 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,279 But you gotta stick up for yourself. 412 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,048 Because if you don't... 413 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,450 they'll take advantage of you. 414 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,955 Oh, hey, could I borrow 60 bucks? 415 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,190 I'm going to meet Frank and Lutz at Scores. 416 00:14:56,296 --> 00:15:00,968 So I founded the Don Geiss Diabetes Research Foundation 417 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:04,237 which is why you're all here tonight. 418 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,339 Gwen and I really hope you'll be as generous 419 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,341 with your checkbooks as you were 420 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:12,445 on the links today with your scorekeeping. 421 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,114 Thank you. 422 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,053 What's he doing? 423 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,956 Excuse me! 424 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,958 I know I wasn't asked to say anything, 425 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,294 but I would like to share my experience with you. 426 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,129 When my daughter Shahita was born, 427 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,197 she had chubby arms and legs 428 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,164 and a big bald head. 429 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,367 She looked like my Uncle Rupert in a diaper. 430 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,638 By the time she was five, she was 87 pounds. 431 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,208 I mean, she could eat! 432 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,675 But then, when was around 433 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,144 eight years old... 434 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,578 I remember it was Easter. 435 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,747 We stayed up all night the night before 436 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,684 watching bible movies and eating Fiddle Faddle. 437 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,387 I remember the next day, Easter Sunday, 438 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,422 she threw up right in the middle 439 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,291 of the Jaguar dealership. 440 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,293 She was mad sick. 441 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:05,298 And I carried her all the way to St. Luke's Roosevelt. 442 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,768 The doctor said she had diabetes. 443 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,438 I get very upset because I think I was the cause 444 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,606 of that due to my ignorance of nutrition. 445 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,644 And I promised Sha that night... 446 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,745 that I was gonna dedicate 447 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:23,383 all my efforts to raise awareness... 448 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,717 and finding a cure. 449 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,156 And I just hope that all of you will join me. 450 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,257 Thank you. 451 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,736 Unbelievable! Record donations. 452 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,039 I can't thank you enough. 453 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:49,109 Jack, I'm gonna be on the Vineyard next month. 454 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,610 I want you and Tracy to come up, 455 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:51,644 and we'll talk about getting you 456 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,779 back in the movie business. 457 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,114 I'll set that up, sir. 458 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,115 Okay. 459 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,117 Tracy, bring your daughter. 460 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,151 That's a deal. 461 00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,752 Thanks again. 462 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,354 Congratulations, Tracy. 463 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:04,491 And welcome to the grown up world. 464 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:10,430 Yeah. I don't have a daughter. 465 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,366 Let's have a casting session on Monday. 466 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:27,380 Grace... 467 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,449 There is something that I must say to you. 468 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,185 But my words cannot suffice. 469 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:35,088 So to quote Mr. Jerry McGuire.... 470 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,857 you make me a complete person. 471 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,760 When you said hello, you had me. 472 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,197 [clearing throat] 473 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,266 My wife needs her sweater. 474 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,269 Ow! Yes, sir! 475 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,107 (TV announcer) You're watching the Designing Women Marathon 476 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,041 on Nick at Nite. 477 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,110 (woman on TV) Sir, you may be right. 478 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,846 I may be not capable of understanding 479 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,615 normal thinking because I think a woman 480 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,284 is just as powerful as a man. 481 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,853 And until you learn to respect me, 482 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,655 you better learn to stay out of my way. 483 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,323 'Cause this is my house. 484 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:13,760 [applause] 485 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,562 This is my house. 486 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,202 Staying up all night 487 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,738 re-writing The Amazing Hobo. 488 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,141 You fat nerd. 489 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,276 Good morning, Lemon. 490 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,710 Hey, Jack, come on! 491 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:31,844 You stay up all night? 492 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:36,183 How can you tell? 493 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,485 This is the men's room. 494 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,220 Oh! 495 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,257 Did you win your golf parade? 496 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,492 Even better. 497 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,626 Next weekend Tracy and I 498 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,862 are gonna double team Don Geiss with our big ideas. 499 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,897 You're so weird. 500 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,332 Now get out of here. 501 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,201 I have to yell at my staff. 502 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:57,437 Because I'm not just feminine, I also can project my power. 503 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,641 Hey, it's Nancy McKeon's birthday today. 504 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,677 Didn't you bake us anything? 505 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,849 Hey, I thought you were gonna being snickerdoodles in. 506 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:10,783 That's the only reason I showed up. 507 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,752 I mean, you can't promise snickerdoodles 508 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,287 and then not bring any. 509 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,589 That's not cool. 510 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,924 [all talking] 511 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,626 Listen up, everybody. Listen to me. 512 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,627 Listen! 513 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,828 Shh shh shh shh shh. 514 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,497 There will be no more baked goods. 515 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,965 No more walking all over me. 516 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,768 I was here all night doing your work. 517 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,737 But at 3:30 this morning, 518 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,407 I happened to see this episode of Designing Women. 519 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,776 And when it came on again at 5:30, 520 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,678 I taped it. 521 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,348 And I want you all to watch very closely. 522 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,882 Because it sums up so perfectly 523 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,585 what I wanna say to you. 524 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,856 What do I hit, input? 525 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:50,923 Is there a TV/VCR button? 526 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,925 What is aux? 527 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,261 Hey, can I go now? 528 00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,429 Hang on. I want your full attention! 529 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:03,770 Why is it making that noise? 530 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,306 Ugh. 531 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,376 Okay, never mind. 532 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:13,513 But I want to say something to all of you. 533 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,847 I am the boss here. 534 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,749 And sometimes that's gonna make me unpopular. 535 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,918 But the point is... 536 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,988 I know what you called me, Lutz. 537 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,759 Oh. I'm sorry that I said that. 538 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,828 Please don't make me move back to Alaska, Liz. 539 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:29,796 I hate it there. 540 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,365 You can stay. 541 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,000 But if you ever... 542 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:38,037 If any of you ever call me that horrible word again, 543 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,406 I will fire you. 544 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,940 And you will never alter drapes 545 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,442 in Atlanta again. 546 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:47,814 Because you do not cross a Sugarbaker woman! 547 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,382 I'm so tired. 548 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,585 I'm so tired, you guys. 549 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,394 All right, champ. 550 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,531 It's nonny time. 551 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,566 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com