1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,704 All right, we have a lot 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:06,074 to get through today, you guys. 3 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,509 Anybody have anything on page one? 4 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:12,713 I think we need to change this Donald Trump joke-- 5 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:18,386 because Donald Trump was eaten by a lion this morning 6 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,355 on the International Space Station. 7 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:24,058 Anyone listening? 8 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,326 Yeah, okay, Cerie, 9 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,760 how about instead of doing the scripts, 10 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,662 why don't you just organize those videotapes? 11 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,065 Oh, okay. 12 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,633 [groans] 13 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:39,207 Okay, actually, could you go downstairs 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,374 and get me a chai tea? 15 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,642 Okay. 16 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,677 Um, where are my shoes? 17 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,649 No, no, just go. Just go barefoot! 18 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,418 Just leave you shoes. Okay. 19 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,858 We gotta change this Trump joke. 20 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,129 [swing music] 21 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:09,170 * 22 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,708 [singers scatting] 23 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,783 Mr. Jordan. What's up, Ken? 24 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:23,817 I got your car washed like you asked. 25 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,120 And I got that "Baby on Board" sign you wanted 26 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,155 to help you get tail. 27 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,757 Thanks, Ken. You done good. 28 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,159 It's my pleasure and my job, sir. 29 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,760 Anything you ever need, just ask. 30 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,762 But I want you to know something. 31 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,731 You and me, it's not gonna be a one-way street. 32 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,867 'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. 33 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,671 Not between people and not while I'm driving. 34 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,739 Oh, okay. 35 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,241 So here's some advice I wish I would've got 36 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:48,842 when I was your age. 37 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:52,813 Live every week like it's Shark Week. 38 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,250 [laughter] 39 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,585 Excellent call, guys. 40 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,220 Good old Stan there. Happy Birthday, Stan. 41 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,655 All right, we're halfway done. 42 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,191 Let's take a little break. 43 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,659 You guys want to have a one-minute dance party? 44 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:06,827 Good idea. 45 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,696 (Frank) Crank it, Toofer. 46 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:12,166 * Grown and sexy from your head down to your toes * 47 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,635 * You know you're fine 48 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,438 * Got that perfect face, a perfect shape * 49 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,506 * And perfect smile... 50 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,773 Yeah, shake it! Feel the music. 51 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,209 Ahem! 52 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,676 Oh, Mr. Donaghy! 53 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,711 [music stops] 54 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,647 No, please... finish your dance. 55 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,648 Oh, we were just taking a little break. 56 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:31,519 And we all love the music of Chamillionaire. 57 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:32,586 I see. 58 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,789 If you don't mind, I'll just observe from over here. 59 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,326 You will? Why? 60 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,860 Are you familiar with Six Sigma? 61 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,297 Oh, yeah, it's a special kind of G.I. Joe. 62 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,366 It's Frank, right? 63 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,800 Yes, sir. 64 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,502 Yeah. Frank... 65 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:52,373 Six Sigma is the elite GE executive training course. 66 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,942 To master just its basic concepts, 67 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,845 one must brave a five-day conference at a Sheraton. 68 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,713 Six Sigma says that a manager 69 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,449 must understand every aspect 70 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,883 of the business he or she oversees. 71 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,418 Which means? 72 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,520 I'll be in here every day. 73 00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:07,688 Soaking it up. 74 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,357 So please return to work, 75 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,959 and act like I'm not here. 76 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,698 (Liz) Okay. 77 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,734 Let's, uh, get into Toofer's commercial parody. 78 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,937 We were trying to think of a funnier cereal name. 79 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,640 The favorite options so far include 80 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:27,741 Honey Bunches of Sadness, 81 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,710 Oat Bung, 82 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,580 and Swaztik-o's. 83 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,581 Fruit Lupus. 84 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,582 No. 85 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,317 Dingleberries. 86 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,419 Fart Nuggets. 87 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,653 [laughs] 88 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,824 I'm sorry. 89 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,359 That's really great. 90 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,795 Okay, let's just think for another minute. 91 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,631 Frosted Mini Guns. 92 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,966 Lucky Bastards? 93 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:53,801 If you don't mind, I think 94 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,536 we all really laughed at Fart Nuggets, 95 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,837 so could we just move on, please. 96 00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,908 Every day, huh? 97 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,444 You guys want coffee? 98 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,812 (Frank) Oh, yeah. 99 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,680 So I was doing some research on comedy. 100 00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,749 and I came across the cartoon strip Dilbert. 101 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,017 It's quite good. 102 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,719 And I was wondering if we could do that. 103 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,454 Do what? 104 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,788 Dilbert. 105 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,693 You guys want coffee? 106 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:20,894 (Frank) Oh, yeah. 107 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,030 No, no, no, you can't say that. 108 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,898 Jeb Bush is a friend of mine. 109 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,634 Who should I change it to? 110 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,002 Sean Penn-- No, Barbra Streisand. 111 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,572 He guns it. Girl falls into the water. 112 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,806 You guys want coffee? 113 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,008 So we circle back looking for her. 114 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,010 Remember, it's pitch black out. 115 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,779 The boat hits something hard. 116 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:42,750 And you hear kind of... [sputtering growl] 117 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,552 And Brokaw says, "Just go. 118 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,986 Don't look back." 119 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,522 Now...I'm not a writer, 120 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,990 but maybe there's a skit in that. 121 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,735 Hey. What? 122 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,604 So is Donaghy gonna be in the room again today? 123 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,938 Ugh. Probably, yeah. 124 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,340 Well, you have to say something to him. 125 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,875 You guys are not getting any work done. 126 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,076 Really? 127 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,444 You don't think his idea 128 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,579 of starting with the catchphrases 129 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:12,813 and working backwards is panning out? 130 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,715 "Nuts to you, McGullicuty." 131 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,585 "Who ordered the wieners?" 132 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,020 [laughs] 133 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,889 Beep beep! Ribby ribby! 134 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,123 Actually, Frank wrote a draft 135 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,626 of "Beep beep, ribby ribby." 136 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,729 [telephone rings] 137 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,831 [ring] 138 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,100 Look, you have to say something to Jack soon, 139 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,735 or your writers are going to revolt. 140 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,103 What do you all not understand? 141 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,838 He's our boss. 142 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,006 Me trying to tell Jack what to do 143 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,008 would be like you trying to boss around-- 144 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,010 Which one of your kids is it that you're afraid of? 145 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,547 Kyle. Kyle. 146 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,782 So strong. 147 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,652 Oh, come on! 148 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,387 That was a jacket. 149 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,788 That's it, I've gotta talk to her about her clothes. 150 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:55,823 She can't dress like that. 151 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,957 Yes, she can. 152 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,526 People like the way she dresses. 153 00:05:58,559 --> 00:05:59,760 Oh, come on, it's distracting. It's inappropriate. 154 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,029 You're inappropriate, you jerk, with your big stupid face! 155 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,865 Come on. Liz, listen, listen, listen. 156 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,800 Look at me. 157 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,702 Look how bald I am. Look at my life. 158 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,504 Please, just give me this one thing. 159 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,806 Pete, no, come on! I'm talking to her. 160 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,141 Talk to yourself! 161 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,943 Cha! 162 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,816 Kenny, my boy. What's the frequency, Ken? 163 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,718 Yeah, I need you to grab me some lunch. 164 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,754 Absolutely. What can I get for you? 165 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,522 I want nachos. Yes, sir. 166 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,823 From Yankee Stadium. 167 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,693 Yes, sir! 168 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,895 (woman on P.A) General testing for United Nations Bloopers. 169 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,764 Oh, hey, Cerie. 170 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,165 Kind of need to talk to you about something. 171 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,600 Do you have a second? 172 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,701 Sure. 173 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,838 Okay, this is gonna sound really weird, 174 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:48,008 but, um...you need to wear a bra. 175 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,478 Oh, no, I don't actually. 176 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,713 They kind of just stay up on their own. 177 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,848 See? Yeah, okay. 178 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:58,686 What I'm saying is, you need to wear a bra to work 179 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,522 if you want to be taken seriously in this business. 180 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,758 No, but I don't actually want to work in television. 181 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,627 Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich 182 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:07,795 and then design handbags. 183 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,130 Here's the thing. 184 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:13,133 The way that you dress is making some people 185 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,168 around the office uncomfortable. 186 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,704 Really? Who? 187 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,539 Not me! 188 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,841 I guess it's mostly me 189 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,576 that has the problem with it. 190 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,811 Oh, because you have, 191 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,679 like, one of those body image things? 192 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,481 No, it's not that. 193 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,982 Good, because I was gonna say 194 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,684 you still have a good body. 195 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,986 Well, thank you, but this isn't about me. 196 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,855 Like, how did you dress before you were married? 197 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,157 I'm not married, Cerie. 198 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,760 Oh, for some reason, I thought you had, like, three kids. 199 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,128 Nope. 200 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,863 Never married, no kids. 201 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,064 'Cause sometimes you have, like, 202 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,999 food stains on your shirt and stuff. 203 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,835 I just assumed that it was kids. 204 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,603 You know what? 205 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,204 Forget I mentioned it. You look great. 206 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,812 Is it my birthday? 207 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,814 You have to get Donaghy out of the room. 208 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:04,752 Boy, we as a group might not smell great. 209 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:05,753 Come on, he's stifling us. 210 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,988 I feel like I just can't be myself around him. 211 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,222 [burps] 212 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,592 Yeah, Tracy's downstairs right now 213 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,293 rehearsing the best thing we've written all week. 214 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,764 Beep beep! Ribby ribby! 215 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,766 All right. 216 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,002 [whistling] 217 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,605 Ugh. 218 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,675 All right. I'll take care of it. 219 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,043 (Frank) Thanks, Liz. 220 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,745 Hey, Mr. Donaghy. 221 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,113 Sorry I'm late. 222 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,082 I was at a luncheon for Ann Coulter's 60th birthday. 223 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,083 Oh, yeah. 224 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,851 Listen, it's been really great 225 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,120 having you in the room these last few days-- 226 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,154 Oh, it's been great for me, too. 227 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,023 Being around all this creativity. 228 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,157 I'll tell you, in the beginning 229 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,959 I thought it was gonna be a bit of a chore honestly, 230 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,828 but now-- Oh, I have an idea for you. 231 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,731 Monkey Senate. We open on the Capitol-- 232 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,701 You can't be in here anymore! What's that? 233 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,903 It's not working. You're driving everybody crazy. 234 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,771 And, okay, you can just fire me now, 235 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:00,841 and I will go back to teaching improv to senior citizens. 236 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,077 Why would I want to fire you? 237 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:06,246 This is fine. 238 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:10,050 Six Sigma values direct and honest communication 239 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,854 between coworkers, so, uh... 240 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,155 Thank you, Liz. 241 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:18,091 Oh, sure. 242 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,594 I'll just, uh, head upstairs now. 243 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:24,598 Okay, well, thank you for being so understanding. 244 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,834 Absolutely. 245 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,004 [exhales] 246 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,184 (Ken) Oh, no. 247 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,888 I will not let you down, sir. 248 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,867 [rat squeaking] 249 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,870 Go get help, girl. 250 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,345 Hey, Jonathan, I left a bunch of messages for Jack, 251 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,847 but I haven't heard back. Do you know if he got them? 252 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:17,250 Mr. Donaghy's been very busy. 253 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,753 Well, I just--I really need him to approve this budget. 254 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:20,788 Well, I'm sorry. 255 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,890 He's out of the country till the end of the week. 256 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,925 Oh. 257 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,701 You want to know another key to success? 258 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:34,835 I do, Mr. Jordan. 259 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,303 Dress every day 260 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,071 like you're gonna get murdered in those clothes. 261 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,910 You did real good the other day 262 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:43,911 with those nachos, 263 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,412 but I need you to do something 264 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,414 of a different nature. 265 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,082 Would you agree when I say 266 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,118 that a man's freedom only exists 267 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,453 when he's free to pursue his desires? 268 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,756 Yes, I suppose I would. 269 00:10:55,789 --> 00:11:00,127 Which means when the law conflicts with our desires, 270 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:05,465 then we must operate outside the law. 271 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,334 You following me? 272 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,805 Otherwise, we would no longer be free. 273 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,844 Now I got a mission for you. 274 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,746 (Cerie) Hey, Liz! 275 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,715 I took your advice. I'm wearing a bra. 276 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,116 That's great, Cerie. 277 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,352 Uh, Liz, can I speak to you for a second? 278 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,721 Sure. 279 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:28,822 What's going on? 280 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,257 Mr. Donaghy is very upset 281 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,458 that you banned him from the writers' room. 282 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,260 He wants you to apologize. 283 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,928 Really? 284 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:35,963 But when you apologize, you have to act 285 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,264 like it was your idea. 286 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,732 He can't know that I told you. 287 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,902 But he sent you here to tell me to apologize. 288 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,437 Exactly. I penciled you in for 3:00. 289 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,507 This conversation never happened. 290 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,843 (woman on P.A.) Jenna, set yourself, please, 291 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,045 for Who Wants to Eat a Dictionary? 292 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,182 [ringing] 293 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,117 Where's Kenneth? 294 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,887 [exhales] 295 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,232 (man) Who is it? 296 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,835 It's Kenneth from the NBC page program. 297 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,370 I'm here for a pickup from Qiang Deng. 298 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,373 [locks turning] 299 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,075 Hello, gentlemen. 300 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,377 Oh, thank goodness. Air conditioning. 301 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,079 Ooh, what does that tattoo mean? 302 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,148 When I get nervous, I ask a lot of questions. 303 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,917 Do y'all have a bathroom I could use? 304 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,919 Y'all have long fingernails. 305 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,788 Now do y'all rent this space, or do you own it? 306 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,790 Hey, that's a funny-looking fish. 307 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,992 What is that, like a grapefruit knife? 308 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,394 Do you have a cell phone? What's your plan? 309 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,832 This apology thing is interesting. 310 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,266 Ugh, even when it's something normal 311 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,936 I hate going up to Jack's office. 312 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,570 I always feel like I'm entering the Death Star. 313 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,873 I expect to see Stormtroopers. 314 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,507 I tell you, if Donaghy does this at me, 315 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,575 I will run. 316 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,011 You'll be fine... Captain Needa. 317 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:01,414 No, Captain Needa dies. He dies! 318 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,918 * There's no business like show business * 319 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,921 * Like no business I know 320 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:11,358 * Everything about it is appealing * 321 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,995 * Everything the traffic will allow * 322 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,931 * Nowhere can you get that special feeling * 323 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,334 * Than when you're stealing that extra bow * 324 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,937 [knock on door] 325 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,941 What can I do for you? 326 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,176 I'm on a helicopter in 15 minutes. 327 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,045 Uh, well, sir, 328 00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,281 I just wanted to say, um, 329 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,850 I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings the other day 330 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,319 when I asked you to stay out of the writers' room. 331 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,521 That's absurd. Completely unnecessary. 332 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,156 I haven't given it a second thought. 333 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,291 Okay, good, 'cause, you know, the writers, 334 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,458 they see you as management-- 335 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:49,196 Please, it's water under the bridge. 336 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,132 Stop worrying and just go on back to work. 337 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,205 Of course, I can understand how you might think 338 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,873 my feelings were hurt. 339 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,975 No one wants to hear that people don't like you. 340 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,510 What, no? 341 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,445 No, that's not at all what I was saying before. 342 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,613 I never said that people don't like you. 343 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,915 That's not true. 344 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,917 So, people do like me? 345 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,385 Yes, people like you. 346 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,021 Do you like me? 347 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,124 Of course. 348 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,558 I like you. 349 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,659 Jack. 350 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,428 You know what I like about you? 351 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,430 Mmm. 352 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,934 Your eyes. 353 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:30,938 You have those black shark's eyes. 354 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,505 You know? Very intense. 355 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,674 Thank you. 356 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,109 Anyway... 357 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,420 [Tracy laughs] 358 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,156 You done good, kid. 359 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,590 That thing ever goes missing 360 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,225 and gets into the public water system, 361 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,393 we don't know each other. 362 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,261 Got it. 363 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,963 I got one little errand for you to run. 364 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,197 Tomorrow's my anniversary, 365 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,698 and I almost forgot about it. 366 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,600 But what did I tell you was the secret 367 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,969 to having a good marriage 368 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,971 and keeping it together, Kenneth? 369 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,539 Be a good listener, a giver of gifts, 370 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,707 and work that va-jay-jay. 371 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,709 That's my boy! 372 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,212 That's why I want you to go see my jeweler. 373 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,386 Good morning, Liz. 374 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,721 Oh, hi, Mr. Donaghy. How are you? 375 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,223 Fine, thank you. 376 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,724 I remember you mentioning what a big fan you are 377 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,293 of the rapper Chamillionaire. 378 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,262 'Cause I was dancing with Frank? 379 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,598 Oh, yes, yeah. I love Chamillionaire. 380 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,167 Well, it just so happens that he's performing 381 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,735 this weekend at Webster Hall, 382 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,339 and I got some VIP tickets and backstage passes. 383 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:43,043 You could take the writers or a lady friend. 384 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,544 Whatever. Enjoy yourself. 385 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,179 You deserve it. 386 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,615 Wow. Thank you. 387 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,683 That's very thoughtful. 388 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,651 Well, I think that coworkers should have 389 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,186 good personal relationships. 390 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,387 I know we've had some missteps, 391 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,756 but we've put all that behind us. 392 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,593 And I'd like us to be...friendly. 393 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,763 Yeah, absolutely. Yes, so do I. 394 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,697 Wow, I just can't believe 395 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,633 Chamillionaire tickets were still available. 396 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,569 Ah, well. 397 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,305 See ya. 398 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,475 (woman on P.A.) Josh to stage, please, for Homophobic Hague. 399 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,410 What was that about? 400 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,379 Just talking to my "bud," Jack Donaghy. 401 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,247 Bud, really? 402 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,015 Yes, he said he wants us to be friends. 403 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,550 He gave me Chamillionaire tickets. 404 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,452 And he even did this to me. 405 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,087 Wow, look, having Jack on your side 406 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,555 can only make life easier. 407 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,023 It's good for everybody if he wants to be friends. 408 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,391 I know, but it's so weird. 409 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,559 It's like that scene where you see the back 410 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,460 of Darth Vader's head with his helmet off, 411 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,762 and you're like, "Oh! He's a human being!" 412 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,364 I gotta get some new DVDs. 413 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,598 Did we just go in a circle? 414 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,632 Yeah. I was following you. 415 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,767 I was following you. 416 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,202 No, I'm going to wardrobe. 417 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,836 Okay, good walk and talk. 418 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:47,307 (woman on P.A.) Actors, please set yourselves for Queasy Stuffed Shirt. 419 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,043 Lee, can I check costumes for the cold open? 420 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,645 That looks fierce. 421 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,780 Hey, Liz. 422 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,084 Cerie, seriously, take that off. 423 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,651 And you, stop encouraging her. 424 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,420 You're an enabler. 425 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,755 You need to dress like you have a job. 426 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,591 And parents who raised you 427 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:08,461 in some kind of shamed-based American religious tradition. 428 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,597 Here. 429 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,599 I can make this hot. 430 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,633 Now I get to pick out 431 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,667 what I think you'd look good in. 432 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,737 Oh, I'm not really a fashion person. 433 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,139 You're wearing this. 434 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,074 Come on, no. I'm serious. 435 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,642 This color would be amazing on you. 436 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,777 And you're a size four, right? 437 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,080 [laughs] 438 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,782 Well, aren't you sweet? 439 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,785 [Tom Jones' She's a Lady] 440 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:37,257 * 441 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,259 * Well, she's all you'd ever want * 442 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,793 * She's the kind I'd like to flaunt * 443 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,862 * And take to dinner 444 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,265 * 445 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,100 * Well, she always knows her place * 446 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,102 * She's got style, she's got grace * 447 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,204 * She's a winner 448 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,440 * 449 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:54,707 * She's a lady... * 450 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:55,875 Hey, guys, what's up? 451 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,745 Ugh! Oh, my God! 452 00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,712 [writers laughing] 453 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,748 What are you wearing?! 454 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,316 You're making me gay. 455 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,385 It's a joke, obviously. 456 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,520 I'm wearing this as a joke! 457 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,756 Bunch of comedy writers don't know a joke, jeez. 458 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,591 I just threw up in my mouth. 459 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,760 I said it's a joke! 460 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,765 [laughter] 461 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,734 Work it, Craig! Whoo! 462 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,770 [Grown and Sexy playing] 463 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,206 I think I'm having a heart attack. 464 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,774 (Liz) Excellent, right here. Thank you. 465 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,676 (Pete) Oh, pizza! 466 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,178 Thank you, sir. 467 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,746 Hey, Liz, can we eat this out on the roof gardens? 468 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,448 I don't even know how to get out there. 469 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,483 I don't think people are allowed out there. 470 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,784 No, I see Today Show people 471 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:38,785 eating out there all the time. 472 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,620 Really? Even Ann Curry? 473 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:43,890 I'll show you the studio in just a minute, 474 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,593 but first, this is where my writers write. 475 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,431 Don't mind the odor. 476 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,632 But seriously, since Tracy's arrival 477 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,866 the show is up in the key demos. 478 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,535 We're driving male viewership, 479 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:59,472 and we're effectively synergizing backward overflow. 480 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,774 Please, Liz, let us eat outside. 481 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,710 You know what? I'll ask Jack. 482 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,512 He'll let us eat out there, right? 483 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,681 He and I have an important friendship. 484 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,817 Hey, they didn't bring any sodas. 485 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,785 I'll call Kenneth. 486 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:16,856 [ringing] 487 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,891 Seriously, where is Kenneth? 488 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,695 [soft piano music] 489 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:26,566 Happy anniversary, Mrs. Jordan. 490 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,701 Excuse me, do y'all just have noodles with butter? 491 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,706 Hey, Jack! Sorry to interrupt. 492 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,508 Hey, can we eat our pizza outside? 493 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,709 'Cause those wangs 494 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:37,744 from the Today Show eat on the roof garden 495 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,312 all the time, and, you know, 496 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,214 since I thought me and you are best buds--boink! 497 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,749 Maybe you could do me a solid 498 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,651 and slip me the key to that thing. 499 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,219 This guy's the best. 500 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,221 He got me kick-ass Chamillionaire tickets. 501 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,622 You guys like Chamillionaire? 502 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,958 Anyway, Jack rocks. 503 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,761 This guy, A-plus. 504 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,697 Excuse me for a moment. 505 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,699 [whispering] I'm sorry for what's about to happen right now. 506 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,000 Just know that I don't mean it. 507 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,535 Don't mean what? 508 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,637 What group home did you escape from 509 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:05,972 that you would dare talk to me 510 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,640 like some plumber's wife 511 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,277 in front of Ron Gordon and Bob Overmeyer? 512 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,644 I don't even know who those guys are. 513 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,813 Oh, really? Your ignorance was obvious 514 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,749 when you waddled up to me with your thin-lipped mouth 515 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,385 full of greasy peasant food 516 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,586 and addressed me by my Christian name 517 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,288 in front of the gentlemen from Fairfield. 518 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,655 That's Fairfield, Connecticut, Lemon. 519 00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,291 GE Headquarters. 520 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,558 But how would you know that 521 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,727 with your nigh-40 years of public education 522 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,862 and daytime television viewing? 523 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,964 If you ever pull a bush league stunt like that again, 524 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,267 I'm gonna have you writing promos for Arena Football 525 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:37,370 so fast it'll make your inexplicably small head spin. 526 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,306 Oh, snap. 527 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,874 snap! 528 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,845 [whispering] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 529 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,447 I thought you said we were friends. 530 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,316 I said we were friendly. 531 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,783 Well, I don't like you anymore. 532 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,619 I don't believe you. 533 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,456 [whispering] Go easy on the pizza. 534 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,491 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com